Hi, I'm Leona, and welcome back to Finding Your Joy Spot. The place where we explore what it really means to live and lead with clarity, confidence, and courage. And around here, joy isn't just a feeling, it's a philosophy. The philosophy of just own you exactly who you are. Today we're diving into a theme I've been having some fun with in my own life lately, and it comes with a question. What if someone was watching the movie of your life? What would the audience be screaming at you?
You know that moment in a scary movie when the character hears a noise and starts walking towards the door to see what's outside, and you are literally thinking, don't go out there. But the character for some reason goes outside in the dark anyways and something bad happens. I hate those moments and it seems so obvious it's not the best choice. But here's the thing. In our own lives, we do something similar.
And of course that's the movies, and nobody's gonna watch someone lock themselves in a safe room and play solitaire for two hours. But what if your life is like a movie and the audience is desperately trying to tell you to stop hiding? Stop playing small, stop pleasing, performing, and perfecting. A couple of weekends ago, I participated in a family constellation workshop and something profound emerged from almost every single person. One by one.
As we explored our deepest patterns, the same core need surfaced the need to be seen. Every single human being longs to be acknowledged and loved for who we truly are. It's as fundamental as breathing. But here's what struck me, while the women in the room long to be seen, they also talked about playing small, doing everything for everyone else, and making themselves invisible at times. I think maybe we've become invisible superheroes. We wear the be good, do good, take care of others.
Cape so convincingly that nobody really knows who we are underneath. Sometimes we even forget ourselves. I know I did. Honestly, if my super hero Cape had an emblem, it would be a doormat For years. I defined my worth by what I did for others and they could all step over me. And the cost was devastating. Nobody truly knew me, and I didn't either. That's the paradox we wanna be seen, but yet we hide ourselves.
We crave connection, but we only let people connect with parts of us, in my case, my superhero persona, and we hide our authentic selves because we're afraid of rejection. Somewhere along the way, we convinced ourselves that being needed is the same as being seen or being loved. That being indispensable is the same as being valued, but it's not. Imagine watching your life play out on a screen and the audience isn't quiet, just munching out on popcorn. They are shouting at you.
Tell them what you really thank, they yell. Stop doing her work for you or for her. Pardon me. Say no to that request. Ask for what you really want do it. But just like the movie character, we can't hear them over the noise of our own people pleasing, perfecting, and performing The Deadly Peas I call them. What if the solution to feeling unseen isn't to do more, but to show up? Really show up as who you are? And this isn't about becoming selfish. It's about becoming visible.
It's about becoming real. It's about letting people connect with the actual you, not just the version that makes their life easier, or at least that's the story you make up. Being seen requires courage. It means showing up with your imperfections, your boundaries, your real opinions and needs. It means believing that the people worth keeping in your life actually want to know you. And isn't there some relief to that? It starts with small acts of visibility.
Share your real opinion instead of deferring, say, that doesn't work for me. Instead of automatically accommodating, express a need, instead of hoping someone else will guess, set a boundary instead of endlessly extending yourself. Even now, I'm not perfect at this far from perfect, and I never will be. I don't wear the doormat cape anymore though, unless it looks awesome with my outfit and not the doormat cap.
I still find myself saying yes when I wanna say no or staying quiet when I fear the outcome of speaking up. And that's okay. There's grace for us all. This isn't about perfection, it's about awareness. It's about making small, brave tweaks each time. We're ready because here's what happens. The audience is still screaming except now they're cheering for you. As you show up, speak up and stop hiding the world needs you. Can you hear them? Some things to consider writing about or talking about?
Where are you hiding behind a helpful persona? What parts of yourself are you still keeping silent or hidden? If your life were a movie. Where would the audience be screaming for you to speak up or show up? Where are you overextending yourself instead of being authentic? I've included these in the show notes. You could take one a day to journal through. Take some time with those questions. They might show you where your audience is desperate for you to step into clarity, confidence, and courage.
Thank you. For joining me on Finding Your Joy spot. Remember, the audience of your life isn't just screaming. They're ready to cheer you on when you show up as yourself just owning you. That's the joy spot the world needs. And if this episode has resonated with you, I'd love if you subscribed, left a review or shared it with a friend who needs some encouragement. And if you're craving more, join me in person at the Just Own You Retreat on October 18th.
I'll put some information in the show notes as well as if you're looking for an opportunity to pause, I'll put our next session of a quiet place, a time for you to reflect and restore and reset again. Thank you for joining me today on the Joy Spot.