Hey everyone. Thanks for joining us again on the Finding Hope Podcast, helping you get through what you never asked for. That's a tough place to be in life, isn't it?
Yeah. Things that you don't expect. I know we have a family member right now. I've mentioned it before, but she's just going through the most difficult times. Everything is falling apart in her life right now.
I've never seen anything like it. One thing after another. I mean, it's just as soon as we think it's getting better than something else happens and it's just tough and things come against us sometimes we don't expect. Know even Paul the Apostle, know, they would go into a certain city and Satan hindered them from going there. And he ran into this difficulty. He had a vision to go to Macedonia and then he got stoned, you know? So, I mean, getting through what you never asked for, I think that's part of life.
Yeah. And, you know, you're doing your best to try to obey God, follow his leading. And, you know, the enemy is out to trip us up and to steal and kill and destroy.
Yes, he is.
But by God's grace, we can continue carrying on.
And you know, our heart goes out for you if you've had a recent loss or you're just remembering a loss of several years. You know, loss just doesn't go away. It's a painful thing and you miss your loved ones and you're not supposed to just push it away and never, you know, I think it was Earl Grollman said that, God is the God of, of of today, of tomorrow and of yesterday. You know, he's yes, it's a day today and forever, you know, yesterday, today and forever. And so, yeah, you know, our past, our son, I'm looking right now at a booklet that we put together of our son, memories.
And, you know, we don't forget him. And I know you don't forget your loved ones. And we wish one of ministers some things today just to encourage you, because, you know, when you're in the middle of this pain of loss, you really don't know if you can make it.
Oh, that's for sure. Especially early on. Oh, I mean, I know how we were. We were so broken and we just had to take at first just one minute at a time.
Right.
And then it could maybe be one hour at a time.
Right.
And then it it went forward to we could get through another day and then a week. But, man, in the beginning, it's you just you just aren't prepared for that level of upheaval in your life.
Yeah. I remember one friend of ours said, reminded us that Jesus said in the Lord's prayer, he said, give us this day our daily bread. And he talked to us about, listen, you know, you you need something from God every day to help you get through this darkness and this pain. And he said, so whatever you can get, take it and receive it for that day, but don't expect it to be your answer for the next day or for the week or the year. You just never know.
And it may be a blessing what you learned today to help you get through a couple of days, but really, you know, grief is hard and it comes back to touch us, to pull us into despair. And it's a real battle. I mean, it's a battle, it's a mental battle.
It is.
It's spiritual battle. And, and you know, it's just, it's a natural battle as well. But the beautiful thing is God never leaves us. Even when we don't see Him, He is with us.
Yeah.
And I know we talk a lot about that on this podcast but you know that whole footprints in the sand story where it felt like Lord, you know when I needed you the most you weren't there but he said that's the times that I carried you. You know and, we can testify to that that we were without strength, without hope, We didn't we didn't know how we would make it and and if we could make it. And yet the Lord showed us with little signs and little things to just say, you know, hey, I was with you the whole time.
Yeah.
And it was hard. It was so hard.
Right. It was I mean, I remember it was probably about two weeks in, maybe two and a half. And I remember just a moment of when I felt like it was my fault that he died. You and I were talking and we were just kind of reminiscing and rehearsing all this and I just remembered one conversation that I had with Beau. And I mean, I could hardly catch my breath. I was crying so hard.
Oh.
And, you know that's just how it is in the beginning, especially for an unexpected loss. Even, I mean, you know we say that it was like a sudden loss for us because even though he was ill for nine months, our son, we were just believing God for a miracle and for his healing and even if he died, for him to resurrect from the dead. And we were just so shocked when it didn't happen.
Right.
So for us, it was like a sudden loss.
Yes,
Just it bear with us. You know, that's just what it was like.
Yeah.
And it, But you just don't know, especially in those early times, how it's gonna feel, all the stuff you're gonna go through. Continued for months, months.
Like you said, there are different things that happen that you don't expect like you felt guilty, you felt, you know, it was your fault, which is ridiculous, know, but it's what the enemy does. And that's something we always need to be aware of is the enemy, you know, I've said this before but Jesus turned to Peter and says, you know, you're gonna deny me. And he says, Satan has desired to sift you as wheat but I pray that your faith fill not. We have to realize that when we have losses like this and our hearts are broken and we're barely able to make it, we have to also be aware at times that the enemy is trying to totally destroy us and blame us. And you go through this thing of anger, you go through these things of like, you know, feeling guilty because, you know, you could have done this or maybe should have done that or should have done it or shouldn't have said this or whatever.
That's just the devil. I'm telling you, the enemy likes to point his finger at us and just try to just make us feel, you know, awful. And, you know, grief alone is hard enough. Just missing your loved one. You know, that's just normal.
And there's a lot of pain and just missing and having sorrow upon sorrow, as Paul says. But then the enemy also will come and just try to heap condemnation on you, make it your fault and just try to destroy you, try to take any light, any measure of hope that you maybe could have. He wants to just try and totally destroy that. You know I was reading a scripture recently that blessed me about I was talking earlier about God being with us and, I was reading about Hagar who was, you know, Sarah's servant And Sarah wasn't able to get pregnant, so she asked Abraham to have relations with her servant and her servant got pregnant. And so then her servant got nasty about it and proud about it and and Sarah got mad at her and and banished her, long story short, but sent her away.
And, you know, Hagar, you know, had a had a son by Abraham and God was in the middle of all that. And so, you know, Hagar felt all alone. She felt like, no one sees me, no one understands my pain. She was just gonna die. She was just go out in the desert and die.
But I love what she said, what the scripture says about this. She said, you are the God who sees me because God began to speak to her and she said, I have truly seen the one who sees me. And so God is a God who sees us no matter what we're going through and He is with us. And as I've said before, He suffers when we suffer, He weeps when we weep and He sees us going through these difficult times. And the Bible says that He's close to the brokenhearted.
So He'll never leave us or forsake us, even though we feel like He's not there. And I know, Joe, you've many times said, you didn't wanna talk to Him, you didn't even know He was there, but then little, little things.
Yeah, he just began to reveal himself to me and uncloak himself so that I could see his fingerprints.
Yeah. And you know that reminds me also of like when Jesus rose from the dead, He walked with some of these people and they didn't recognize Him.
Right.
You know? They didn't recognize Him. They didn't realize it was Jesus but he was there until he revealed himself. And then they went, oh wow.
Oh, it's the master.
It is Jesus. And it was similar I think for you, that you know, he just began to show you himself little by little and that he did love you and that he was with you and that he did care. I don't know about you guys but it really helps me to know that Jesus wept at the tomb of Lazarus and that he weeps with me. It helped me a lot to know that the Lord suffers when we suffer. It helped me a lot just to know that He was with me and that He didn't cause this pain but that He was definitely gonna be there to help me.
Scripture says in Hebrews that He's touched with the feelings of our infirmities and when we are hurting, he is hurting.
Yeah.
And that is the bottom line.
It's so true.
But you know there a few things, I was recently reading a book and it just really blessed me to some practical things that we can do when we're going through this grief journey. And one of those things is just to self care, to take care of yourself.
Yeah.
I know our pastor said, Charlie, you guys go out and eat a bunch of comfort food. And I gained like 15lbs.
We took his advice.
We did.
It was awful. We had to pay for it later.
Yeah. But I don't recommend that.
I know it's good for the moment, but yeah.
You know, really when you're hurting this bad, you know, it's hard to take care of yourself.
Yeah.
But to get through grief in a healthy manner, you do have to take care of yourself.
You do.
You do have to find healthy food to eat. Don't just eat a bunch of junk food, you know.
Eat all the ice cream you want or all the pancakes.
Yeah don't do that. I mean, for the moment, yeah, it'll it'll, it might think, you know, well, I'm just gonna do this, you know, and I don't care, you know, and I understand that. But in the long run, it's gonna make it harder for you to recover from this painful ordeal. I mean, you know, you gotta walk through grief. It's just there. It's gonna take some time.
You have to walk through it. You have to. I think even on the podcast we did with Joyce Meyer, she she said, you know, if you fight pain too much, then it's gonna take it longer to heal. And it's kinda like if I've got a cut and I'm just always touching this and you stop hurting, stop hurting
Bumping it again.
Or bumping it. Yeah. Yeah. It just takes longer and longer to heal. But if I just say, okay, this is hurting, but I'm gonna trust the healing process and not itch it, not they're not.
Yeah.
I'm just going to trust this healing. And I think that, we have to with grief, you have to, in some ways, embrace the changes, embrace the pain, embrace what you're going through because there's no way to get out of it. Know, I mean, yes, you know, the Lord is with you in the middle of it, but, you have to go through this particular door of loss and pain and
And I just wanted to say that, you know, some people, they beat themselves up because they struggle with grief for so long, you know, and they feel, Oh my gosh, I should be over this. I need to pull it together. I need to be bigger about this. I'm just being a crybaby and, you know, I'm just, you know, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just.
Right.
Well, news flash, that's okay. It's okay to grieve. I mean, we don't like it, we don't want to, but we have to. This is, you know, it's like grief is an unwelcomed chaperone to walk us through this time. And without grieving, we will be less healthy in our recovery.
Right.
You have to give time for grief.
Yeah, you do. You do. And for tears. Yes. We talk a lot about that on this program that, tears are okay. Mighty men of God grieved. A godly man of God grieved over Stephen and mighty men of God of David's mighty men wept until they could weep no more.
Right.
And it's not ungodly to cry and to weep.
That's right.
And you know, I was looking at, we had some, instrumental music on the other day on television And I looked up one one song that was really blessing me and and it was called Unseen Tears. And there was something about that title that just touched me so deeply because, you know, when we cry alone in grief, you know, it's not seen by the public, but it is seen by Jesus.
You better believe it.
What does it say in scripture about our tears? Every...
He collects every one in his bottle.
Amen.
He keeps them all.
So I mean God sees.
He keeps sees our tears.
It's like I was reading a minute ago, you know, in Hagar, he says, I have seen the one who sees me. You know, Hagar fresh, she was out there all alone in tears and she was gonna eat her last meal and watch her son die and her die. But God showed up and rescued them and took care of them. And he he sees. But, you know, if you're crying alone, it's okay.
Listen, we know how hard that is. We have cried buckets of tears ourselves and, and many of them alone that no one sees. Jill would walk out of out of a room and I'd see the traces of tears on her eyes. I didn't know she was grieving that hard. And yet she was in the back room just crying, missing her son. And, we've all been there. We've all cried. I've cried so hard by myself and alone, but I'm never alone. Thank you, Jesus. We're never alone.
God is with us and he understands and he loves us through the pain. You know, some tears are seen, some are not. I know that, you know, many times when I do these podcasts, I'll just break down in tears. Know, some, we had this one lady that interviewed us a couple of years ago and, she was from England. And I mean, I kept kept falling into tears in the middle of the podcast. She was so sweet and compassionate. Jill had to take over because I just couldn't go. And so some tears are public, but you know, all tears I believe are holy. They're just, it's a holy time.
Yeah, it is.
When your heart is broken and Jesus is healing you.
Yeah.
And you know, I told you I might mention this but you know, we saw last month Erica Kirk after she had lost her husband and at least two times now she had publicly, spoken to people on television about her loss and to just see this precious lady with two children, having to go through the pain of the loss of her husband and just to see her in tears and yet trying to hold them back and just to see the depth of her pain. I think this is very, very, it's holy and it hurts me so bad to know that she has to go through this. But at the same time, I think it's really good for people to see this.
I think the public needs to see in general, not just because of who she is or because of her who her husband was, but just to see openly a grieving human being openly share. I know people come to us and they say thank you for being so transparent because you were just so honest about how much this hurt you. Thank you. Because no one's talking about it and no one's wanting to to admit that they hurt, you know? And so, you know, I think that, you know, her being on national TV and grieving like that, I think it spoke to a lot of people and hopefully it helped a lot of people to understand who didn't understand before what a grieving person looks like and what the pain that they go through in situations like this.
Yeah. Yep. Well, we have an event coming up in two days.
Yep.
If you're listening to this on the day that the podcast launches, we have an online event coming up called Finding Hope for the Holidays.
And we are going to be just talking together about things just to help you get through this time. Whether you are approaching this time as a new, as someone in new grief, as they say, you've recently lost someone within the last year or maybe a few years or maybe it's been a while, you're still struggling and it's still a painful time for you. We just want to equip you a little bit to help get through this season with a little bit more, a few more tools, a little bit more grace maybe. It was a really challenging time for us, every year is, because our son passed away after Christmas and so he was very ill during Thanksgiving And and so it comes every year with painful reminders of that time. But we've learned a few things that we want to share with you.
And so we need for you to register for it. It's not too late. There's a zoom link below that, or a link to our website. It's going to be a live zoom. We're hoping to have time for questions and answers. So, it won't be late, but it'll start at 08:00 Eastern on Thursday, November 6. So that's in two days. We don't want you to miss it and we hope that we can help you. We'll have a free gift for you if you register and join us so that'll also be helpful for you.
Yes. Yeah. So we hope you can join us. We know holidays, as Jill said, were really tough for us, but we also know it's tough for so many of you. And, there is hope in the holidays and we want to just love on you and talk to you about that. And in addition, if you didn't see, our interview, from Joyce Myers, we were on her podcast called-
Talk It Out.
Talk It Out. Yeah. So when you're done listening to this podcast, if you haven't already gone to Joyce's Talk It Out podcast, from last week on the 28th is when we were privileged to be her guest. And then we heard that she was gonna put this on her television program as well in next year sometime. So be on the lookout. We're just really honored to have been on her program. So praise the Lord. Well, tell you what, you know, God is good and God is a present help. In time of need.
He sure is.
I wrote a song called God is My Refuge and we've played it on this podcast many times, but he's a present help in time of need. And he helped us get through the difficult, difficult, painful time of loss. And, you know, we have a little USB actually that we put together called the God of all comfort. And you know, if you're needing comfort, you're in pain, you're struggling, I believe this will really help you. And on this USB, we've got lots of, material that'll bless you.
There's music and there's teaching.
Yeah.
There's a few downloads.
There's a teaching that I did on it like Jill said, and we talk about the song, God of All Comfort that we wrote and how we wrote it and why we wrote it. We referenced footprints in the sand and other things like that but we believe this will really, really help you. It's a USB, you can plug it right into your computer and watch it that way. Or some of you have, cars that are up to date and you can plug it in and there's an audio version on it or there's the video version on it if you put it into your computer.
Or your television.
Yeah, all the back of your TV, a smart TV, yeah, you can put it there too. So we encourage you to get this beautiful, God of all comfort USB and we believe it'll really bless you and help you get through your painful time. So we sure do love you, we appreciate you and we believe that God is going to continue to help you get through this tough time and we're here to also encourage you and help you. Leave a comment on this podcast. If this has helped you, if you have any questions, please leave a comment.
Let us know. We'll try to answer those. And we want you to like this program. Right?
Yeah, it helps to spread it around some more.
Put the thumbs up, the like, and like Jill says, normally share it with other people. Just get it out there. So we sure do love you.
And don't forget to register for the Zoom.
You gotta do that today because it's in two days. Yeah. And we hope to see you on this Zoom. So God bless you. We love you. And we shall talk to you next week. Bye bye now.