This is the nourishing, Amy podcast and I am your host, Amy Rankin. I'm an emotional intelligence and well-being coach and a mum. And I am here to help you to find your sparkle. Again, we are going to chat about mindset, mum life, self-development pulling yourself out when you need to, because life isn't perfect,
right? And basically learning to become a happier version of you think of this as your time, For you, I'm here to help you understand yourself, more feel, less overwhelmed, and more self-confident. And to navigate the ups and downs of life, if you're ready for all of that and more, let's get into today's episode. Hello and welcome to episode 121 of the nourishing. Amy podcast, today's episode is going to be a little life update
for you. I know I mentioned in the last episode that I've had some time off, things have felt really out of control. I would say in the last few months, really busy really crazy. I felt a little bit crazy for a little while there. Yeah, look, it's just been a lot and I want to talk Through some things that I've really been enjoying some habits that have been helping me to get back to myself and be feeling really good. Again, some podcasts. I've been listening to some books.
I've been reading updates on different habits, that the kids have things, like, you know, eating breastfeeding, sleep routines, all that kind of stuff. Basically, all of the questions I get over on my Instagram. I want to go through them with you and yeah just do a bit of an update. I also want to talk about my My personal experience with postnatal depression.
Of course, this is going to be different for everybody, but it's another topic that I have been getting questions about whenever I pop up a question box on my Instagram as well. So I'll dive into what it looked like for me or also what it currently looks like for me and how I'm navigating some different warning signs that I noticed coming up for me and what eventually led me to actually going and making an
appointment with my daughter? So I mean look as you know, from my last episode, We have welcomed beautiful little Lila into the world and it's just been a bit of a ride. So I am actually back at work now. So, Lila is 8 months old, I went back to work having my one-on-one clients back in January. So Lila was nearly six months old, so she was five and a half
months. When I went back, I was quite emotional about it at the end of last year, but I think I'm glad that I made that decision and gave myself about a month and a half. A half or two months to really get used to the idea of going back. What seemed so soon to me? Because I didn't actually go back taking one-on-one clients with Ali until he was about nine months old and so she's at daycare.
So, both of the kids are at daycare Mondays and Tuesdays, which means that Mondays and Tuesdays are a lot of the time during the week some of my favorite days of the week because anybody that has kids knows that they are very unpredictable and things can really just hit the fan at a minutes notice. S and Mondays and Tuesdays are. Now my days that I really enjoy. Like I'm a routine person. I love structure. I love to know what's going on.
If you have listened to any of my other podcast or heard me talking about the certainty driver in our hoop, incites human, psychological needs, I very much lean towards that certainty driver and I definitely lean away from the variety driver. So yeah, there's been a lot of challenges with my certainty. I've a feeling very pushed to its limits and not really met a lot of the time recently which has meant that I've had to really Embrace that variety
driver. So my Mondays and Tuesdays, they're my two days that I know their structure. I know this routine, like, if a client is booked in at 10 a.m. I know exactly what I'm doing. At 10 a.m. I know who I'm talking to, I've got a general idea of what we're going to be talking about and I just feel like they're my two days that I'm like, right? I know what? A happen on these days and that feels really good.
But also what I've really enjoyed is that also allows me to lean into that variety driver and that variety side of myself on the other days of the week without feeling like, it's too much variety. So I feel like, I've got a pretty good balance at the moment. I've also been doing some workshops, which I'm absolutely loving. I'm partnered with a few beautiful, Pilates studios and gyms on the Central Coast where I live and I just absolutely love it.
I love I love being able to be back in front of people again. Now that we're not in lockdowns and just creating that connection talking to people about, you know, what lights them up, what? They might be struggling with some mind catching mindset changes that we can be bringing in and, of course, lots and lots of admin that I've been doing. I also have been leading into doing a bit more content creation. So I'm really, really lucky to have a little bit of a Following over on Instagram.
I would say it's very much in the micro micro influencer field, but Partnered with some really fantastic brands that I am absolutely loving, at the moment, I won't partner with anybody that I don't that doesn't align with me or that I don't actually use myself anyway. So it's kind of a win-win because I'm like, I mean, I'm using your products or Services anyway yes. I would love to make a real. I have a very creative side to
myself. I used to own an online clothing store and I loved the Photoshop aspect in the creating back then it on in Graham, it was very much about creating static posts. So I love doing flat, lays and being creative in that way and styling, and getting onto Photoshop and, you know, putting text onto my photos and all of that kind of stuff. So I guess content creation is just like an extension of that. It's like my creation has evolved as the technology around us is evolving as well.
So that's something that I'm really enjoying. Also just getting out of the house to do. My admin is something that I'm finding is really helping me to thrive at the moment. So instead of like, I don't know about you, but I just feel like when I've got a lot of admin to do, and I'm in my office and you may have seen, I did a bit of a office. Oh my gosh. It's pouring rain. It literally just started pouring rain. It's sunny outside. And I just hung a load of washing out on the line.
Oh, anyway. That's not the point back to what I was talking about. I don't know about you, but I get really distracted. When I'm Working at home. So like I was saying, I did a office refresh and I love my office space, I find that because like all of my work that I do is working from home with my clients and my admin that I need to have a space, that feels really inviting for me.
So I did that and I did a big Kmart Hall at the start of the year and just reset my office space and I love it. But I do find that because I'm at home I just get so distracted. I'm like oh I'll just quickly pick up the kids toys or I'll just quickly vacuum and mop or I'll just Really quickly do this or cook dinner for tonight. So, it's ready. And I just get so distracted.
And I started to notice that when I was on my way home from dropping the kids to daycare, if I had a little bit of a break in between one-on-one clients, I would take myself to a cafe and take my laptop and I am so productive. I could do be there for two hours and do a whole entire days worth of admin, that would normally take me a whole day at home. So, that's another thing that
I've been. Really enjoying and something that I think comes under the episode that I was talking about last episode, as well of just being really intentional with the things that I'm doing for myself. Like, Timmy getting out of the house having time for myself and being really productive and getting a lot of work done. That feels really good for me and so, I definitely don't take
that for granted. I'm really Mindful and like I find it a bit of a treat if I'm going to go and order myself a coffee which is a decaf coffee at the moment. Again, if you follow me on Instagram, you would have seen that. I've actually Giving up caffeine for a little while and I am feeling amazing. I actually don't know if I'm going to go back to drinking coffee, but I'm going to do a whole nother episode on that.
Maybe next episode, I'm going to talk about just ways that we can change our habits and habits that you might notice that aren't serving you as well as what they used to and what to do, if you want to change them. So, yeah, that is me some things that I have been really enjoying lately. I am obsessed. East with Tick-Tock.
I'm probably a little bit late on the bandwagon, like but I just, I love it. I am following some amazing content creators on there and I just, I don't know, I was I feel like I learned so much and like there for you page. Their algorithm is just on point. So I'm really, really loving that. I follow a mixture of like lifestyle influences and videos and like Kmart halls and Mindset staff and inspirational.
I don't know. I just I just love it and I've also actually in the last few weeks, really gotten back into creating over on Tick-Tock again to I feel a lot more authentic on Tick Tock. I don't really know if that explains it, I don't know. I just feel like Instagram for me has always been a place that's been quite curated. And, you know, it was the OG place for like filters and all of that kind of stuff. And I love that.
Curation. I love that creative side of me where I'm like, all that would be a really nice photo. Like, that's nice aesthetic. But Tick-Tock, I'm like, you know what? If I'm just getting out of bed and I've got no makeup on and I don't feel that great. I am still more than happy to record a video if there's something on my mind. So they're just a bit of a
different vibe. So if you don't follow me on, Tik-Tok, maybe come and check it out and just see if you maybe prefer that Vibe and some other things, I'm enjoying just getting out and having some fresh air. I'm really feeling like that is so important. My mental health, the differences that I'm noticing with the transition from one to two children. The biggest thing that I'm noticing is I feel like because Oleum, Lila nap, most of the time at different times or
they'll overlap a little bit. I used to have what felt like a lot more time on my hands with just one to be able to like get out and go for a walk. Like if Ali was I knew going to have an awake window for like two and a half hours. I could jump in the car and go for a walk or pop him in the The carrier and go for a walk and I can't really do that now. All he doesn't like this prayer many more which is fair enough, he's two and a half. So I kind of can't really go for
a walk walk with him. I could maybe go like down the end of the street but it's not the point of for me, going for a walk is clearing my head space and it's my mindset refresh. So that's something that I have found really challenging because getting out in the fresh air was something that really, really drastically improved. My mental health after I had Ali and it's something that I am finding a lot more difficult
this time around. So even if for me at the moment, it's just like popping our picnic blanket outside on the grass, and taking the kids outside, and that's my fresh air for the day. I'm really, really mindful of that and really enjoying that. And I also find the kids, a lot of the time. If they like having some meltdowns inside, they're a lot happier outside as well. And it's just like change of scenery, get some fresh air, all that kind of stuff. What else am I enjoying?
I have the most Full group of mom friends and it's such a mixture of all these original mother's group, my new mothers group. Some beautiful women that I've met along the way through those beautiful friendships that I've created as well. And of course, my original friends that have children themselves that I now have a whole brand new appreciation for I just and loving my mum friends. I'm absolutely loving my
girlfriend's, as well. Again, my original girlfriend group like we just, I don't know. I just Feeling so grateful for my friendships that I have in my life at the moment. Maybe because I feel like I have been so busy and bogged down with work and the kids that rather than quantity time with my friends, it's quality time.
And so I really again I feel like this is a running theme and exactly why I did that podcast episode last week and that topic is I'm just so much more Mindful and present and intentional when I'm spending time with my friends, because it does feel so rare at the Want to be able to do that.
What are some other things? I'm enjoying all, I am doing coaching sessions for myself and oh my God, it has been absolutely without a doubt, the most life-changing thing I've ever done and I know I said that about coaching sessions like before I had Ali but it's probably the first time in the last probably three years since I was pregnant with Ali that I've really prioritized my personal development for myself.
That's not doing something like studying or just reading a book like Actually really deep diving into coaching sessions and it has been so transformational the things that I have worked through is like stuff that I didn't even know has been just
sitting there. So it's just been so interesting and like, you guys know I'm so passionate about this stuff anyway, and I love being able to do this with my clients, but to actually be able to prioritize myself and give myself the space to work with a coach to do this too. Is just The best thing that I could have done for my mental
health issue. Something else I'm really enjoying is just having a really, really simple and basic morning routine, but again, being really intentional with it, so I get up. If Lila has already awake, I'll give her a feed and then pop it back down in her cot and then I will have a shower. I have a really nice body wash that I use and I give my face a really, really nice cleanse and then I get out and I do my skincare and I really love doing my skincare. That's like myself Care for me
in the mornings. If I'm feeling like it'll pop a podcast podcast on, maybe I might listen to like this quiz so that I can update myself with just like news and what's actually been happening in the world, because a lot of the other podcast I've been listening to lately are very much like what's the word that I'm trying to think of like pop culture and just like kind of not nothing podcast.
But you know, it's not like information heavy podcast be and I'm just, I'm really loving it. I think because I'm feeling quite over stimulated and overwhelmed in like All day today. So my pop culture podcasts are like, let's just switch my brain off and just have some fun and listen to something really light-hearted.
So yeah, and that is literally my morning routine, if the kids are still not awake after I've done that or do my workout in the morning and that's a 28-minute transform work out with feeders, which I'm still obsessed with. I'll talk about actually being sick in, just a minute and talk about working out and stuff like that and what my healthy habits of looked like but speaking of podcasts, As well. So podcast, I've been listening to that.
You would have probably already heard me talking about but just in case you're new here or you haven't heard me talking about other podcasts that I like to listen to before. So my pop culture e ones is, so dramatic Shameless outspoken and life uncut. So they're probably my top listen to ones at the moment. Just because like I said, they're just really light-hearted and fun, but I also got really addicted to these two crime podcasts.
I was already talking about, Teacher's pet before I had my little podcast Hiatus and I just, I'm so obsessed with that podcast. I just can't get enough of it, but that also led me on to listening to another podcast that is created by the Australian which is chandi story. And I'm really, really invested in this podcast. I'm probably about 3/4 of the way through and I just really enjoy like, having a bit of a storyline to follow and having my own life.
Opinions or perspectives on what I think happened. Yeah, I don't know. It's just, I love it. I kind of pop my ear pods in when I am cooking dinner, if it's like a bit noisy or all, he's got one of his TV shows on that. I don't like, I'll put my ear pods in and just like cook dinner, and listen to one of those episodes or clean the house and listen to that. And I love it. I also really enjoy our catch Killers with Gary jubilant. He does some really, really
interesting interviews. Very much crime related. He is a Detective in the Australian federal police. So super interesting with that. Something else. I'm really enjoying is just absolute nothing family. Time on Sundays, like, Sunday's is our day that we try and not book anything in Saturday's is generally busy ish because we've got all these swimming. And most of the time we'll have
something after that. We might go and catch up with a friend or have like I don't know, an event or like a birthday party or something on Sundays. We try to keep free and we just are really enjoying at the moment, like getting up. Up. Going down to the Waterfront and like, grabbing a coffee, or a hot chocolate. Great, getting an egg and bacon, roll for breakfast. Ali takes his bike down, and we just get out of the house, again. I think it's just that fresh air, and then we're just like,
okay, what do we want to do? Am I going to be doing like the meal planning and meal prepping? Do I do a click and collect
order? Like, do we have a little picnic this afternoon, just very chill and quality time with the kids and I'm loving it. The very last thing that I'm Leave really enjoying and that I've really gotten back into and I'm totally obsessed with these reading and I have a books highlight over on my Instagram. So I actually won't go into too much detail, the books that I've been reading recently that I've been really really loving because it's all over on that
highlight and it'll take me forever I think I'm up to book like 25 for this year already and it's only March. So yeah, I just have found that I'm watching less and less TV because Cuz I'm really intrigued in the stories that I'm reading in the books that I'm reading. I'm very much a fiction girl. So all of the like not true stories, they're like chick lit, the like kind of romance. I've recently gotten into the Thriller side of things actually.
One that I will mention is verity by Colleen Hoover. If you have not read that. I mean I'm guessing you probably have because it's been everywhere for the last like two years. But again, I was To the bandwagon and I could not put it down. I think I read it in like two days. But yeah, go and check out the Instagram highlight if you're
after some new books to read. And yeah, that's about it for what I've been enjoying something that I have been really trying to focus on is prioritizing myself only in the last probably week and a half, because I've been really, really sick. I thought daycare bugs were going to be finished after a year of Ali being a day care last year. They're not, they are back with absolute Vengeance. It's been about seven weeks that are in, and I have both been really sick for.
We didn't get tested for it, but RSV was going around the daycare, we had gastro twice, we got the flu. It just has not been an enjoyable time in our household to the point where I actually said to my code to the other day. I feel like our house needs a cleanse because the vibe is just not. It's just not a Vibe at our house at the moment. So I found also that because I was so sick. I didn't have an appetite, I just wasn't feeling well at all.
I had no energy Lila went through her 4 month regression which she's now 8 months old and it's been four months that she has not been sleeping well. For she was teething, she went through a regression. She was teething now she's in her eighth month regression. It's just I've been so sleep-deprived and it was really kind of just before this that I started to get get clear on my postnatal depression as well.
So I just feel like it was just one thing after the other for probably the last like three or four months really and it just all started to pile up and felt like a lot, and I just fell into some bad habits. I wasn't eating. Well, I was back into that habit of just like eating The Leftovers of what was like on all these played or what Lila
hadn't eaten. I wasn't exercising because I literally just out there was days that I was having two naps like I would have a more a morning nap when Lila had her nap and I would set my alarm. It was just like 20 minutes. I would set my alarm and then be like right what else do I need to do for work? Because it was like my brain just was not functioning and then I was having an afternoon nap on some days as well and I just wasn't myself.
So I have gotten back into the last like week and a half really focusing on me but in small ways. So like how am I nourishing my body with every meal? Like one of the really, really good tips that my nutritionist. Sorry naturopath taught me last year. Was every single meal. Like, don't worry so much about like whole list. Like overall, what your meals look like, because that can feel overwhelming, just focus on every single meal. Is there something healthy or
nourishing in that meal? So like have toast if you want to have toast or like have I don't know Cheerios or Fruit Loops or caught, Coco Pops, whatever but add something else into that meal as well. That is nourishing that you know there's like good vitamins and minerals and it's replenishing, your body with nutrients that It is lacking so that was really something that I was like yeah I can do that. That's just focusing on one meal at a time then.
So that's something I've gotten back into this week. I started to move my body again and oh my God. So I did the postpartum transform program and level 1 program before I got sick. And so when I was like, I want to get back into moving my body. Again, I'm actually feeling like I've got energy and I'm feeling really good this week. I was going to start level 2 and I was like, I think I'm trying to push myself a little bit too hard.
Let's just start with level one for, like a week or two and see how I go. And then, if I want to up it to
level 2, I'll do that. I've done two days of level 1 and literally, I could not walk properly last night when I had to get up and go to the court to feed Lila my bum, my legs like my arms, my shoulders just everything was hurting and it was like this is so good like the Faction of like I'm back into really working on becoming a stronger and healthier version of myself is so satisfying, but also like the reassurance that like okay, level one is enough for you, right now is also
really good. So I'm loving that I do have a discount code for the transform program as well. So if you're interested jump over onto my Instagram and all my discount codes are over there in my bio for you.
I've also really been trying to focus on hydration because does my milk supply has been so low this whole entire phase with Lila like newborn and all the way up this last eight months or so hydration is something that has been really really important to me and just rest like I've really I'm not really someone that allows myself the time to rest and not feel guilty about it but it's something that both Aaron and I have really had to
lean into the last seven weeks and look, it was frustrating at times but we got there something else that I've been doing to Our ties, myself is a been booking in for regular haircuts. Not actually getting my hair colored but I've got short hair again and I love it. But I find that it gets quite irritating quite quickly because I don't like it when it starts to, like, tuck into the back of my collars and things like that.
So, I've been booking in probably once, every two months to get a trim, and it's just like, there's just something about seeing a haircut booked in for your week and like, I might stop in and get like a decaf coffee on the way, or like myself. A cup of tea and drink that in my car, on the way there, I might just go in like listen to a podcast and go and sit down at the waterfront or at the beach after I finish for like 10 minutes and then go back home. It's just it's my time, you know.
And something else that I did two weekends ago because I really did not feel like doing our meal planning and food shopping was. I went and got my nails done so I went and sat down. I got a pedicure and I did all of my meal planning I took my notebook. Did my whole click and collect shop and I just felt like this is time for me, but it's also doing things that I'm finding really monotonous at the moment that I don't want to do.
So that is actually called habit stacking and look like I'm not going to go and spend my money on getting my nails done every single week so that I can be doing something that feels good and getting tasks done that I can't be bothered doing but it's just like a little treat yourself thing every now and then you know, so I really enjoyed that What else have I
been doing? I've been identifying, what I feel is lacking and taking action like actually doing something about it. So I feel like I just been really trying to be responsible for me. I guess is the best way that I can explain it. I just think I realized like you know, Aaron started his own business and he's so busy like he's out doing quotes nearly every afternoon and When he gets home, he's got to actually like do all the figures for them, draw them up, get back to
people, chase up companies. Like it's just, he has so much going on that. I realized, like I was relying on him for so much, especially when I was really struggling with my mental health. So I think it's been really important for me just to try to be responsible for me and not rely on other people to fix things, you know, like actually kind of Ian or what can I do here? What would feel good for me in this instance? So that's been really, really great.
I guess following on from that my postnatal depression, diagnosis and anxiety which you know I think looking back at it is probably something that I struggled with with Ali as well without actually probably being diagnosed and putting a label on it. And I don't know that I can really pinpoint the exact moment that I that things started to go downhill for me again after I had had Lila, but I think it's just, it was just such a combination of things for me.
Like, going back into that sleep deprivation. All he was only 19 months old when Lila was born and I think it was just such a huge shift for him. So trying to hold the emotional space for him to navigate that and the changes that were happening in our household as well. As I wasn't able to breastfeed Lila for the Three weeks of her life. Because we'll what we have found out is that she has a tongue
time. We know that now, but I didn't know that at the time and it was excruciating to feed her like I'm talking worse than childbirth. And I am not over exaggerating when I say that. So there was just a lot to be navigating in the first like month or two of Lila's life, which I found very difficult and just the general like the general holding space of other people's emotions. And trying to learn how do I navigate toddler feelings and emotions?
What's the language that I should be using around all of their sin? Oh my gosh. It's just, it just felt like a lot. And I noticed. So the things that I started to notice Within Myself, the biggest thing for me was, I was not looking forward to Christmas. I didn't even care that it was going to be Christmas.
And I started to notice this in about, like, October definitely in November. If, you know me, personally, you will know, I am. Christmas is my the best time of the year like, you can he how I talk about it? Now, like I get excited thinking about Christmas this year and it's only March like, I fucking love Christmas.
I just the vibe the whole, like II, start our Christmas decorations in October, because I want that vibe to hang around in my house and in, within me for as long as possible, like, give me the Christmas music. If I'm in a bad mood, Mood I'll put on my Christmas music playlist. Like Christmas is my time of year. I love catching up, I love the connection with friends, I love
the connection with my family. It's probably the only time in the year that I really get quality time with everybody in my family and extended family and I'm obsessed, I love it. So yeah, I wasn't, I didn't care that it was Christmas. I wasn't looking forward to it. I wasn't listening to Christmas
songs. I just that was with the Moment for me where I was like I think something might be off because this is very unlike me. It's was very uncharacteristic following on from that, I just noticed like I just I didn't feel happy and I also got to the point that I was like I actually don't know how to feel happy again. I was trying all of my tools I was doing my coaching sessions like but it just I was in this funk and it felt like I was just under water and I could not get back up.
I was crying at least 10 times every single day and I'm not even over exaggerating the smallest of things. Now when I look back at it would just hit me over the edge. I was so emotional. I was sad all the time. I was taking everything. Personally, I was so insecure. I was a shell of me and I started to talk about it with Aaron a like about a week before.
I went to the doctors and he was like, look, I haven't really known how to talk to you about this and I know you had a really hard time after Ali and I was hoping that it would pass, but I don't know how to help you. I don't know what to do. Like, you need to tell me how to help you, because I don't know.
And I just, I broke down. And I said, I don't know, I'm trying so many things and I feel like I've been trying for months now and I cannot get myself out of this and I think I need to go to the doctors one of Of my beautiful amazing best friends had actually encouraged me because she noticed that she was feeling similar ish and she was probably the turning point for me. She gave me a phone call and she said, Amy, you need to go to the doctor.
This has been life changing for me, and I'm on medication and I think that it might help you to and I am so grateful to her for saying that to me, because it was probably the first moment that I actually thought. Okay, maybe I will, I don't know, I feel like I had a bit of a stigma in my mind like I work in the mental health space. This is what I help my clients with. I shouldn't be struggling with this because I'm a coach, you know?
So I think it just hadn't crossed my mind until she mentioned and then I went on to the panda website and I did the questionnaire that they have on their the quiz and it literally like all signs were pointing to like it's within your best interest to go and have a chat with your GP and see if you have some options that you can look into. And I just found I was the Ellie mum. Like I was yelling at the smallest of things and I just I don't want to be that person for my children, you know.
I want to be able to show up for them and hold space and I'm not saying that I never yell now and that I don't get angry and that I don't have those big feelings and emotions.
But what I am saying is that with the help of medication and continual coaching sessions and working on my mental health and my self development, that I have a lot of different Tools in my tool kit now that I'm actively using and Medicaid, And for me, has helped me to think more clearly and to be a more level-headed and grounded version of myself so that I can more actively use the tools that I have in my talk here. So I hope that makes sense. Let me know if you have any
other questions. Like if there's specific questions, that people want me to ask. I can do a actual separate episode about that. But apart from that Aaron, and I are going really well now, But same very similar to after we had Ali we really had to redefine and communicate our boundaries.
We had to get clear individually on what our boundaries are, what we need from each other and as individuals and navigating like what that actually looks like, what self-care looks like for both of us and what time with our friends and time to just like recharge. Looks like for us, I think that's been the absolute biggest thing that we've both had to get really clear on because if we don't Have that time to recharge
for ourselves individually. We just do not get on and we're just like at each other's throats because our cups are empty. So, that's been a really big thing. We've both had to really work on our time management and our priority management with both of us being back at work and really busy with like I was saying before my clients and my admin and my content creation. But then for Aaron, like he's quoting and he's like day-to-day work and like scheduling and Nothing.
It's just it's been a lot for both of us and, you know, like, relationships are always going to be a work in progress, but I feel like we're kind of out the other side of the struggles that we were having a little bit over the previous few months. And I think that also just comes with feeling more comfortable in our own routines and like Lila slotting in a little easier now, like, she's not a newborn. She's got her own kind of routines happening now that we're a little more comfortable,
weird. So yeah, I remember after I had Ali, Was around this eight-month period that I did start to feel like, oh my gosh, like I've got these, I can do this. Like, I really started to feel a lot more confident within myself as a mum and a person. Again, I started to get my identity back a little bit more as well, so I feel like now Lila's around that eight month, period.
I think, Aaron. And I both individually and together are starting to feel that Vibe again with Lila, too, which is really nice but something that I did want to recommend that has been life-changing. I'm not finished it yet, but I got recommended Bye. Beautiful friend of mine is a book called how to not hate your husband after kids, it's by JC done or June done, I think it is
and it is so good. If you're not into reading books, I haven't been able to find it as an audiobook but she has done some podcast interviews. So if you search JC done in podcasts, you will find some interviews with her and she'll explain and I actually think she'll probably convince you to go and buy the book. I'm probably about halfway through. And it's just really good talking about conflict
resolution. She talks a lot about the mental load, the invisible, mental load like life, has a mom and why that can feel overwhelming overstimulating. Basically, everything from my mum rage Series. So if you feel like you resonated with my mum rage podcast series that I did, I probably think that that book will resonate with you as well. So it's called how to not hate your husband after kids, and it's awesome. What I have found though is, I really especially after doing
these really deep. Dive coaching sessions lately like my kids at the moment are my biggest teachers, like, they mirror my triggers and as uncomfortable as that has been it's just I feel like I'm doing so much work on myself at the moment that I do. Now. Find it powerful and I've got find it really interesting. Now, when I'm getting triggered, whereas Like, a few months ago it was just like, oh my God, I'm just exploding multiple times a
day and I cannot deal. Now that I'm noticing and I understand why some of these things are my triggers. It's really, really interesting, so internally, yes, I'm still feeling triggered but my reactive behaviors are so much less. And I just feel like I'm probably also just feeling a bit more comfortable in holding that space for big feelings, and toddler feelings with Ali, and learning to navigate that like, Don't know. It's always going to be a work in progress, I suppose.
But yeah, I guess like updates on the kids, all these two and a half now. So I guess he's like your typical like in quotations like two year old, he's got some very, very big feelings and we're just trying to work through that and it is a work in progress. Every single day. He's going through a very big mummy preference at the moment which is I hope starting to die down a little bit now. But yeah, that's been
interesting to navigate. He's very big on being independent, so he loves to make his own decisions, he wants to do everything himself again, it's all the typical two-year-old things. But on top of that, he's just so funny. Like he's hilarious. His little voice, his little sayings, his little quirks that he has. He has such an imagination now. He's really into imaginative play and pretend play, which I Find so cute and just like, I don't know.
It's just like you are actually a human like a tiny little human and it's so cool. He's bedtime routine is definitely still a work in progress. He has gone from you guys. If you have heard me talk previously about his sleeping, a really big struggle when he was young until he was 9 months old. And then we actually work with a Sleek consultant, which was the best fucking thing we ever did
in our lives. And He went instantly sleeping through the night until he was about one and a half, maybe two. And the last six months has just been really rough. Really, really rough again, with that Independence and just like, I think needing less sleep as well and just also realizing like there's a world outside of me now. Like I don't just go to sleep in the world, doesn't stop that. Mom and Dad are still awake. I still want to be spending time. I still want to be doing things
like yeah. So That's a lot and he's eating has also really changed a lot. So he used to pretty much eat anything that I made him which was absolutely amazing. And I think I took that for granted because I didn't realize how much it was going to change. Like, there's some nights he just will refuse. Absolutely refuse to even eat dinner at all. And there was like, I think three or four nights in a row that he did that last week and I was like, are you not hungry? Like I don't understand.
So I definitely find that frustrating myself. I'm like, I just made you this food like it's like, I don't know, I guess the triggering. Me finds a little bit disrespectful and a little bit frustrating. I'm like I just spent this time making this for you and you're not going to eat it but then the mom side of me and like the toddler mum learning side of me knows that this is all normal and I'm trying to work around it and work with it. Yeah. I don't know.
I guess like I don't really want to share too much about my kids. I know I do share a lot of things like with my life. On like Instagram and Tick-Tock and on my podcast. But you know, I'm worried that they're going to be their own people and they're going to listen to these things and probably watch these things back when they get older. So I think that's enough of an update with Ali.
Lila. Lots and lots of questions around Lila and like just basically in the whole last 8 months, her breastfeeding Journey. Like I was mentioning was really rough at the start and I was exclusively pumping for three weeks, we had a lactation consultant appointment. So Lila actually had a racist jaw when she was first born, which is why she couldn't feed properly. And now we also know she has a tongue tied. That's only been a recent thing
that we've learned. So we're working on that but it just makes a lot of sense around. Why are breastfeeding Journey? This time around has been so difficult and so different to Ali's. I basically only breastfeed her now overnight and Nate maybe sometimes, but it's definitely been dropping off the first feed in them. Mornings apart from that, she is Formula feeding and having bottles and she is absolutely thriving. But don't get me wrong.
It was a very, very big mental challenge for me to get my head around that I think because there was so much comparison coming up for me with my breast, feeding Journey with Ali, and he never took a bottle. He just never wanted to not for lack of trying, and he was just an absolute boob monster. And I think that set my expectations, Chen's that the it was just going to be the same with Lila and it has not been
the case at all. I have had not really much of a letdown for months now and I think that's been really difficult for Lila as well and like they're just different babies. Like they're just different and that has been a lot for me to understand as well and to really start to be like okay like I see what everyone means now. When they say every baby is different, it's so true like her sleep. I can literally Pop her down for
her naps. During the day, she has a dummy again, Ali never really took a dummy wasn't interested. I can pop her in her court with her dummies and her little comforter with the dummies tied to it. So, she always knows where they are. And she will literally roll over. Grab her dummy, put it in her mouth and she's asleep. Ali never like, never the self settling. I had to do with him, the self settling. I had to do to try and get him to link his sleep cycles.
Just like absolute worlds apart. And it's not, I have not done anything different with Lila. It just is really simply the fact that all babies and children are different. And yeah, she just like sleep more than Ali did even with her regular night wakes. Now, she's waking probably three or four times a night. That's nothing. Compared like Ali was 12 or 13 times a night. When we had this lead consultant with him so you know, she's not
sleeping great. And yes, she's in another aggression and she's been teething But in comparison to Ali, it's really fine in saying that we are going to be putting her into her own room. So we're still renovating the house. We're getting very close. We're probably. I would say a bit more than three quarters of the way done. Now, which is really exciting. And her room is not completely finished yet, which is why we haven't moved her into her own room yet.
So we're going to be working on that over the next few weeks. And we're going to transition her and her own room and see how that goes. And if she's still not sleeping through the night, Then we'll be looking into getting that same sleep consultant again. So for those that Wonder because I do get asked about this a lot as well. We used Mary and Sayers so you can find her. She's got a website. You can find her on Facebook.
I'm not sure if she's on Instagram but she just absolutely changed our world with Ali and his sleep. And I cannot wait to have a night that I sleep through the night. Although Ali might throw a little bit of a spanner in the works with that because he hasn't been sleeping through the night again either, but that's okay. We're We're working with it feel like that's just like my life motto in the moment at the moment is like I'm working with it or let's just roll with it.
Like I don't know. I just think what has come with my second time around and second baby is just really embracing the fact that like this is only a phase. This is going to pass. There is going to be a time. When Lila does sleep through, there is going to be a time when Lolly is not scared of the dark, and he is sleeping through. And, you know, just all of these different things that we're going through as frustrating as they can feel.
And in the moment I know that they are going to pass and I think that's just like mud that motto that I keep trying to remind myself of life. I'm just rolling with it. Like I'm just going with it and just going to see what happens. It's just helped me to feel a lot more relaxed. I think as a mum and just a lot less anxious and a lot less paranoid about things. But yeah, I feel like look guys, that's like 45 minutes of me rambling about my life and my
life updates. I hope that there's been some things. In this episode that you have found interesting. At least maybe there's been a few little things that you feel like you want to start doing for yourself like reading having a really simple morning routine. I don't know. Maybe there's some things that you have found interesting or enlightening around postnatal depression or doing some things for you. That feel really good for you. Let me know.
I will pop. If you're listening on Spotify, I'll pop a question box up as well as you're listening so that you can answer any so that you can ask any questions and I can get back to you. Some answers as well, which is a new feature on Spotify, which is very cool. So I'm going to start to try and make my podcast a little more interactive for you as well, so that it just makes them a little bit more fun, and I hope you have a beautiful morning,
lunchtime evening. Whatever time it is that you're listening to this episode and I will talk to you very soon. Bye, if you liked this episode, I would love for you to screenshot and tag me on Instagram. You guys have no idea how much that absolutely makes. It's my day. I get such a big smile on my face. Thank you so much for hanging out with me today and I hope that you have got them something
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