Look out. It's only Films to be Buried with Rewind Classic.
Hello there, this is Brett Goldstein. We're taking a short break between seasons, so in the meantime, enjoy this absolutely banging Rewind Classic until we return on August ninth with a brand new season of unbelievable new guests and episodes. In the meantime, I've curated some of my all time favorite episodes. So sit back or run, or walk or drive or sleep or bang or whatever you do to these no judgments, and I very much hope you enjoy
this episode of Films to be Buried with Rewind Classic. Hello, and welcome to Films to be Buried With. It is me Brett Goldstein, and I'm joined today by a writer, a actor, a podcaster of one of my all time favorite podcasts, a father, a husband, a stand up comedian, a legend, a hero, a superstar, and a god amongst men. Please welcome to the show, The Brilliant. It's mister Pis.
Oh my goodness, thank you, kindly, thank you. I just plugged in my headphones during that kind intro because I realized, for tech reasons, I'm so happy to be here. I'm a fan I've listened to the pod. Come on, I enjoy it. I told you off Mike that everybody secretly wants to do it. This is the podcast that people play in their head when they're on the on the toilet or in the shower and they're like and then he says, what's the one that's given you a bonus
I shouldn't have? And you're like, well, Brett, So it's awesome to actually be here. This is my twenty twenty.
Well, Peter homes you. I'm a massive fan. I love your podcast. It's one of the few podcasts that I listened to on the RAG. And I think the reason people want to do my podcast is because it's one of the few podcasts you can do where you don't have to talk about what you're working on at the moment. So what are you working on at the moment?
I love it. I love it.
But you do have something? You do have? Yes, tell us the big news I do.
Oh, you don't actually want to The bit is that you don't want to know that you don't I know.
I do, I actually do. I actually was. It was half a jug and half setting you up to plug about the big, big, exciting well I.
Am doing I'm about to do a multi cam, which you said which really made me happy. You said, when a multi cam is done right, you went look out, which made me really happy. Which made me happy. Yeah, so I am about to start that, which is exciting for a lot of reasons, but maybe towards the top is like being with people, acting with people, being on a set with like camera operators and sound people and script supervisors, like it just sounds like heaven to me.
When I was doing the other shows I've done, you do them long enough, you really do start taking it for granted. And now after this time away, I'm like, I'm gonna be amongst humans. Sometimes I like to think about how many hearts are beating in the room, and just like, look at all the hearts beating in this room. How many eyes or are kind of floating around taking in what they can take in. And I was like, we're here together, and I'm super excited to try to
be funny and have fun. And when you're just acting, so you're a writer and an actor, but when you're just acting, I find it's much easier to just be like kind and sort of zen and like sort of float around and be like, well, it's not my decision, you know what I mean, you have to go like wow, we have to beat this joke or write this new scene, or like oh they're saying we need to change this. I just get to show up, stand where they tell me to stand, say what they tell me to say,
and be a nice person. And I'm excited about that. Wow.
Well that's interesting actually, because you have been doing a lot of writing out teen your own stuff. Do you not think you'll be tempted to have a write a stand up brain, particularly with a live audience with a mic. If something I'm assuming and hoping these writers are really excellent, but if anything kind of doesn't quite land, are you're going to be like ah, as your stand up brain and a kick in and go on top of this.
I think it will. But you know what was humbling when we did the pilot is I was like, well, you know, the show's called Smallwood. I'm Tom Smallwood. I'm like, look at me, I'm Tom Smallwood. So we do three four takes of a scene, and then I'd be like, I got one, I got one, I got an alt I'm going to try something different on this take, and I would do it and it wouldn't work. How not funny does it have to be? You're the lead character. They've already seen three takes of the way it was written,
and now you're changing it up. But you'd get a laugh just based on the novelty alone, And no one was laughing. And I was like, well, it's time to eat some shit and take my humble pill for the day. But we also didn't.
That's why they called me smooth Wood.
I actually thought when I opened it it was going to be about a guy with a tiny, tiny wiener, and it is, but no one's gonna know that.
That's just your backstory.
It's more of a front story, a lower to the front. What I'm saying is I have a teeny weenie.
Congrats you LASiS listen. I think from what I hear people with teeny weenieds to just work harder, and they about more creative because they got They're gonna make up for stuff.
So that's cool, like the Great Pumpkin being number two, Perhaps you try harder. I watch so many kids things with my daughter, so the references are gonna be a lot of Charlie Brown Peanuts movie Not Bad might make my list today.
You put me in a real yes and quandary there because I was like, I don't quite know what the great pumpkin is, but there's no way I don't want to guess added it. Yeah, well, but here we are. I won't do it again. Don't ever do a reference I don't know again, or you are off the pod.
That was my favorite my can I say it's a plug of you. Yeah, when you did my podcast, I'll never forget it. There literally are moments on my podcast of agreement, of improvisation, of just two people melding that take my breath away. It's one of my favorite things, especially when you don't know each other. And the moment on your episode is when I said I called someone a bell end. It's one of my favorite British insults.
And I'm like, and you bell ANDed it like you yes, and but bell land And when you knew what I meant when I said thank you for the bell land, I was like friends. Friends. I was like, that's all it takes. I just need some good.
Took each other shoulders, listen to the eyes, and went friends. That's friends.
Did we just become best friends?
Yeah?
It was one of those It was one of those.
Quick, serious question Now if I may have had the motes camp, because I have a thing that I honestly, I'm so fascinated by them. I've worked and one in England and I genuine you think, you know, they're easy to dismiss when they're average or bad, but when they're good you think, cheers. Everybody Loves Raymond, like, these are some of the greatest shows ever. And the writing, the way multicams have to be is they have to be
banger after banger. Every line has to be a fucking banger in a way that most sitcoms at a single cam you can get away with less big fucking jokes. However, the thing that interests me, and it's early days and you haven't done it yet, is how they treat the
actual audience in the room. I think Everybody Loves Raymond was the best at the way the actors reacted to the studio audience felt brilliant, because sometimes you watch things where the studio oneings are too excited for how you feel at home watching it, and so it feels weird. It's like a disconnect. You're like, why they're laughing so much? It's not that fucking good.
Yeah, it's almost yeah, yeah, yeah, they're left out.
And there are things like there are some sitcoms out I won't name, but there are like some good sitcoms, but where it almost feels like they ignore the audience the studio on studios laugh and it's almost an annoyance to them. It's like, yeah, we're just ignoring it and we're getting on into the thing and there's laughter in the background. But in Everybody Loves Raymond in particular, I think they were the best at this. They would like
sit in the loufs. They'd get a big laugh and it was very subtle, but it was like a twinkle in the eye and some acknowledgment from the act is like this bit is killing, and they would sit in it and it would spread to you at home because it was real. It was like a live connection was going on rather than two separate things an audience and the show. It was like melding them and then you felt part of it at home. H thoughts Pete homes.
It's like when The Lover's Sketch with Will Ferrell and Rachel Drouch and Jimmy Fallon is in the hot tub as well, and he's breaking. And I remember there was a time when people were it was called the nineties. I think people were just so mad at Jimmy Fallon for laughing. But those are the ones that I remember, because I felt like I was in on something, just a little bit wicked, little bit alive, electric, like something
was happening that is funny. And I'm not turning on SNL to watch someone do something perfectly, and I'm not watching a multicam to have them pretend like there isn't an audience there, And that is something very interesting about I think the human animal is that works like you can be at home, you're not there. It's actually what makes films so amazing. You're not there, but you're transported.
Valin I went and saw Cruella. It was the first movie we saw after the pandemic, after we were allowed to. I'm not being dismissive of cruel I thought it was a really good movie. Great movie, it's great, and it was what was out. So we went and saw kind of like a kid's movie, even though we're two parents kind of desperately wanting a break from kids movies. But it ended up being really great. I really loved it.
And it's great.
There's something about cinema. Don't get me started. But sitting in the dark is a small ego death. You disappear, you're in the dark. You can't even yourself, You're gone. It's like a drug experience or a vision, let's say vision to not exclude people, or a dream. So you vanish. Not only do you vanish into the dark, you vanish into the audience. There's anonymity in the numbers that you're
now a group called an audience watching a movie. And then that audience vanishes and the lights dimming is kind of like a cuge to your your lizard brain to be like, Okay, shut the fuck up, you're now gonna have these people's thoughts we were talking about, like when I go to music concerts, I don't go to a lot, as evidence by the fact that I call the music concerts.
That's an old joke of mine, but it's true. I don't need to be sitting there with my own brain for two hours, especially if it's not if it's Beyonce, that's a spectacle and you're like really into it, but if it's just like a band and they're playing nice music, I'm too up here. I love Cinema grabs you and goes, You're now this person and someone's chasing you. Oh no, and you're in love with two people who are you
gonna peck? And the lights come up and it's like coming out of a vision or a drug experience, and you go back into your body. And I'm reverent. When I leave a movie, I do not start talking about what I think about until we're home. I hate the people that start going like worshon is good. It's ultimatum, but it was better than green Grass's work with Damon in the Non Born series. You know, I don't. You're supposed to shut the fuck up. You just came back
from a psychedelic experience. Have some reverence. Even if you think you didn't like it, maybe you weren't supposed to like it. Good example, Schenectady, New York. You're not supposed to like it. You're supposed to feel the monotony and the drag and the craving of the ending of the movie in the same way that the character is craving death. He wants to die, and they're making you feel that. So don't go like you like it. Where was optimist prime shut the fuck up and like feel maybe something
uncomfortable or inconvenient. So I also, this is the other theory I want to put to you. It looks like I've loaded you good. The camera lens is a dilated pupil. It's an open eye. So if you've ever been in a meditative state or in love, you know when you're when you're aroused. I don't mean sexually arouse. When you when your nervous system is aroused, your eyes, your pupils dilate and you take in so much more. You take in so much more light, so much more detail. That's
what a camera lens is. And then we blow up that image huge and let your lenses scan a perfect lens shot and pick what to focus on. It is a transcendent experience. I didn't plan on saying any of this, but that's why I love the movies. You have like a vision.
Peeheimes. The last two minutes of watching you on the screen is now my auntswer to traveling fineness. Yes, yes, that was I mean, I I mean, I have to. That was so wonderful and you're so right on all of it. It's really really, really beautifully put and It is entirely what you have said is entirely why I always argue against people watching films at home. When people go, I can watch it at home, and you go, but you don't get that. You don't get the ego death,
you don't get lost. It's about losing yourself. Yeah, it's very hard to lose yourself at home. Even if you've got a good sound system and you can turn your lights down, you're still at home. You've got your phones, you've got your kids, you've got your whatever. I agree, you have to surrender to it. It's hard to surrender at home.
You get stirred into it. It's like at the end the trance is broken and you realize, oh, I'm not Jason Bourne, or I'm not whoever it might have been, I'm not Mineral Streep's character or whatever it is. And we watched Cruella again at home, and I when we saw it, the soundtrack is incredible, and when you see it in a movie theater, it's blasting the rolling stones, it's blasting the rolling stones, and you're just like, lah, like, try to not like the rolling Stones when they're that loud.
And then at home on our little TV, with the curtains open, not even dark. It was fine. I could see how someone would watch that movie and be like, it was fine. But I remember that Mission Impossible, where Tom Cruise has to jump into a whirlpool of water and he has to go right into the middle of it and hold his breath for three minutes. That's what going to the movies is is you have to jump
into that hole. And that's why it's so offensive when someone is scrolling through old texts that happened to me in a movie, or answering their phone or whatever, is because like a comedy show, you are resisting the communal mind. You are now not the audience. You are Steve, and Steve is answering his phone right now, and you're breaking a trance for a lot of people that need it. Human beings need escape. And we'll get when we get to my answers. The movies that I watch over and
over are the ways that I process. I just had like a weird dinner, and I knew the movies I had to watch to help me process and get perspective on these strange feelings. So it's therapy. It's learning that
you're not alone. You know, when you see a movie and you just have to go for a drive afterwards, because you're just like, just brought you into the moment, and it brought you into life, and it reminded you of the infinite possibilities that you can move in any direction, that you can fall in love, that you can get angry, that you can see something you never thought you'd see, and you just have to drive. That was me Goodwill Hunting nineteen ninety seven. We're just like, let's go for
a drive. That's the magic. And that's why it's offensive when someone's eating their popcorn too loudly.
Hey Pee, if I ever die, I might leave. You did podcasted The Will and you could take Guy.
I love it.
Here's the thing. You have a thing you're talking about. You mentioned it big films, talk about Born out to May, you talk about missing possible Carella and stuff. But I also, like, I get super mad with people when they're like, oh, yeah, yeah, that's a film, you can watch it at home. It's like, there is no film you can watch home. And I'm going to probably keep talking about this film every week in this podcast. I saw Mass the other day. Mass. Have you seen it?
I haven't, but someone told me this and they wept.
Yeah, it's four It's essentially four people in a room for most of the film. And it's the sort of film you some people could say it's like a play, and some people would say we could just watch it homes just people talking. It is a fucking cinematic experience and it is so intense, and it is so it's a masterpiece from every angle writing, acting, directing, everything, and there's no way you have to surrender to it. You have. It's it's as intense, more intense than a fucking Born film.
Like you're you're you know, I was holding my breath the whole time. It's like, this is this is as much cinema as Tom Cruise jumping in a waterfall.
I feel the same way about Frus Nixon, which if you rewatch Frost Nixon after the Trump presidency, it gives you a whole new perspective on it because I wasn't there for Nixon. But you're like, imagine if James Corden interviewed Donald Trump. We were like, but it is just a play. It is a play made into a film,
but it has the same stakes. But that's you know, that's what theater is theater is like they're there if someone's going to be or not to be and they're feeling it and you're in the room, there's tension and that yanks out the stakes, like it makes you invested in it, and that's what the movies are doing in the theater setting. There is even like an unspoken frequency that I think good audiences are trying to transmit where it's like we're gonna we're gonna do this good, right,
I need this like I need this. That's why the commercials at the beginning aren't the right feel. It should be all movie related. It should be movie trivia, or it should be quiet, or it should be just looking at the curtain and you're just like, what's it going to be behind that curtain? I don't want someone be like, what's up? Fast passed? If you want to see more exclusive action only for you, you sign up and scan this QRC code now, and I'm just like, fuck you.
Or they show me we just saw thenew James Bond and they were showing scenes from the movie we were about to see.
Oh yeah, that's insane.
To promote the app or something in the video game or something, and I was like, then we're watching the movie and I'm like, why is this familiar? And I'm like, it's because we have the decency to show up ten minutes early and you're punishing me. Nobody needs that. Get the fuck out of here.
One thing, just to go back to where this all started, just because I don't know if there is an answer to it. I'm just curious. On Little would have you, small Wood, Small would have the execs, the people making it had a discussion at all about how you're going to be treating the audience or do you think it's something you will just find when you make it.
Well, I think it remains to be seen. If there's going to be an audience peak because of Oh shit, Coco, there might be a small audience. So my dream would be to do it for a live audience. I had some friends, I had some friends that wrote on Friends, and they were telling me about how much fun the actors would have exactly what you're saying playing to it.
And I had a little guest role on Malaney, so that was a multicam that I got to act in and it was so fun being a stand up and knowing see stand up is is not just the audience listening to the comedian that that's not a very compelling art forum. It's actually both the audience is listening to the comedian and a good comedian, not all of them,
but a good comedian is. So I'm going to be weird and say, like a lover is listening to the audience, you're agreeing on hondip hndip, and we don't mean pence, because we mean one hundred percent. And so you leave with the material, but you also leave with the sensation of someone was so tuned into you that if you made a certain kind of silence, they knew what you meant. And everyone leaves mutually beneficial, like we all were seen
and heard today. So when I did Millenia, I remember exactly what you're saying, trying to manufacture that twinkle in the eye that's sort of like just slight upturned smile, like I know you like this, or I know you would do this. You're such a you're such a cad doing something, doing something I'm just kidding, doing something that you know isn't gonna make it, like, isn't gonna make it on the show. I love those because it's about a tone if you just film a show, who fucking cares.
But if there's a happening occurring, that's that's really special.
Yeah, that's the thing that makes life. And you did it very well. In the HBO's crashes, they're capturing capturing live. It's so hard to capture live, and the feeling of being there is very hot. Anyway, Yeah, I've forgotten to tell you something. I've just realized.
What.
Oh fuck, Pete, I'm so sorry. I know you have this big gig happening. I should have told you this. No, actually, probably should have just sent you an email or something. And do you know what, I should have been brave and said this earlier, just face to face. I should have called it, maybe face timed.
I don't like where this is.
No well, and I know you're You've got so much, you had so much. I'll just say it, what is it?
Tell me what it is? It's okay?
Is it okay? You've died? You're dead dead? You're dead. That's not okay, you're dead. I'm dead dead dead? How did you die? You don't want that? I do?
Like if I but what what if there isn't afterlife? And you're like, but I was watching subsession. How did I Die? I was in a motel, a CD motel, and I heard some of this. I heard some stray cats in the wall. Like I said, it was a CD motel and there was a hole in the wall city and I tried to put my arms in to rescue the cats. They needed help, but I couldn't get in enough. So I took my shirt off and I put lotion all over my body, and I tried to get in but I still but I still couldn't get
in enough. So I took I took my pants off, and I covered myself in lotion all over my family, my crown jews, and I'm all over, and I'm trying to wedge into save the cats. But again I can't. Now I'm worried I'll go too far in, so I put like little clamps on my nipples, and I tie the nipple clamps to the lamp in the stay with me to the hotel room. And then so I'm going in and I start kind of rubbing and I have the nipple clamps that I'm trying to get the cats,
and the friction gives me a boner. And then I go on the bed and I die and I have an aneurysm, and when I die, I jizz and then when they find me it looks like I was just having a wank.
Right, But I'm telling you I was trying to sit. I'm so glad you asked, because I need I needed to clear this.
I needed to clear this. I was trying to rescue cats, not not masturbate in a motel that looks like it was designed for masturbating.
It is. It's annoying how often this death comes up on this and the old looks like I wank to death. Death? Oh my god?
Wait, is that it looks like I wank to death is a real one, I'm Jacob. That would be so funny if everyone was like, I'm afraid that it's gonna look like I wanked.
You're the first, I'm the first. You are the first. Wow, I'm honored. I when I'm filing that police report, I'm just going to struggle with the nipple clamps, explaining that I don't quite get what the thinking was to save the cats.
Well, I didn't want I didn't want to get sucked into the cat hole. What if it was an alternate dimension and I was like I'm using my hands, I'm using my knees and my feet. I need something and I go ear lobes too risky nips.
You know what, it was a heroic death. Thank you, you did well.
The cats died. The cats you try the cats are They're all dead.
They're all dead, and you're dead. So what it looks like is that you wanked yourself to death, killed some cat. Looking at dead cat that's said that that was your kink.
I can only do it if they are dead cats. No, we've done it. We've made it. The worst answer.
The legacy you're leaving.
Possibly.
Do you worry about death?
Pete Holmes, I think about death a lot. It's part of my oh god, my spiritual practice. But it is. There's a great Ramdas quotes like when you accept there's a okay, I'll start actually with the Dada ching. The Dawda ching says he who finds or she who finds their way in the morning can gladly go in the evening. That's one of my favorite little stanzas in the Dadey Ching, And I find that to be one of the meanings
of life is to prepare for death. I don't want to go like the science project and go like that was do today, Like I would like to be like, oh right, We've given this it's due. There's another great Chinese proverb that says death and love are the two great gifts most people leave unopened meaning. It's not an error. It's part of what imbues the whole thing with meaning, and it's a clue to kind of how it works
in permanence, learning to let things go. We say on my podcast all the time, would ice cream taste good if you knew you lived forever? I don't think so. I actually think you're eating ice cream and you're kind of like I'm going to die and I'm eating ice cream right now. This is fucking awesome. But if you were just kind of floating in the ether orgasms whenever you want, ice cream, whenever you want, whatever, whenever you want, I think you would create this. And you know, what's
good evidence for that that this exists. So that's kind of like an interesting way to think of God as something that could do whatever it wanted. Alan Watt says, if you could have an orgasm that just keeps getting better and better and better, how many years would you do that for? How many thousands of years? And then he goes, how long would you do it before you make a button that says something happens? And that just
changed my life. When I heard him say that, I was like, we want some degree of not being in control. We want to have mystery to grapple with, we want to have lost to grapple with. So yeah, I think about it a lot. And because of and we don't have to get into this, but because of so psychedelic experiences, my death anxiety has shrunk to the size of a pebble. And I would say it used to be sort of a mount rushmore, sort of like oh no, yeah.
So you you were masturbating non stop, relentlessly, and then Alan what said, at some point the button will appear that says something happened, and you stopped. I should get on with things.
Actually, I'm glad that's what you took from it.
I'm glad that's really relentlessly masturbating because there are there's ice cream to get Oh my god, what no, no, but come.
On, no, no stop it.
Can you tell me when you say the psychedelic stuftown to go into all of them? But as in have you done stuff that's made you think you've seen the other side or anything like that.
Yes, and well to summarize, I think I can summarize it quickly because we all just want to we want to get to the films.
Oh oh yeah, I forgot. I forgot. That's what you are. Fun.
The summary is, and you can. I hope you keep this. I'll say the short one first and then this lightly longer one. Is. People are afraid of the void. Right if I could tell you something that I have experiential understanding is true. I mean I can still hear my brain going like that might not be true, but something deeper has occurred, something is transformed. I really know this in my bones to be true. Is you are the void.
So there's no blackness coming to get you. That isn't you, That isn't the all and the everything, and that when you die, it's like being a spoonful of sugar and you're stirred into a glass of iced tea and bread is gone. But bread is also there because everything that ever was, is, or ever would be, is all there at once, and time has stopped. A good metaphor for that would be heaven. Oh there are my dead relatives.
But it's really much crazier and wilder than that, and there's nothing to be afraid of because it's you that's really If you were dying today, I would say, Brett, trust yourself because your consciousness with science and you and I would call consciousness that is your truest, deepest self, and that consciousness is divine. So you aren't going anywhere. What isn't God is being stripped away, and what is God remains and that is a fucking You could call
that the good news. That's like fucking good news. And when you worry about the world, I go, I have a bit about this. I go, like, it'll be okay, and I go, I don't mean us. I don't mean humanity like we could be like dinosaurs. I mean who you really are is life itself. You are life itself. Life itself is looking out your eyes, beating your heart, filling your lungs, and it walks around and pretends that it's bread. Oh, I'm on a show called de Lasso
and you go around. That's all just play. That's what my daughter's name means. Leela means the play of the universe. And the good news is you are something eternal and that is consciousness itself. And when you die, like a lobster, you're pulled out of its shell. Bread is left behind, the red, pinchy part, but the meat goes up and in and out and stirred. And bad news is like this show you are gone. Good news is you are and always.
Have been everything.
And if that sounds woo woo, I could point to the Old Testament. I could point to Buddhism, Hinduism and the New Testament and back that up.
I love it. It's nearly made me cry.
Well, that's great because that means that means you heard me. It's like really good stuff.
It's really good stuff. You ended on you are everything, but you are you started on You are the void? Did not hit me hot.
Yeah, that's that's one of my manchas. I would recommend meditating and say I am the void. I am the void. You are what you're afraid of, and that's absurd. It's afraid. You're afraid of yourself. You can trust yourself. It's you. It's you, it's you. It's great. It's great.
Now, So that is it? Who is that guy the philosopher? Is it a philosopher? You stare into the void, and at some point in the void stares back.
Yeah, I've I've heard that too. I can't recall who said it.
But it's like, so you're just saying, yeah, that's looking in the mirror, exactly looking in the mirror.
Well, it's basically the idea that nothing doesn't exist. That's a good one. Nothing doesn't exist, like there is no nothing, and like I have a joke, it never really works that well, but I go, you know, some of my atheist friends think you die and you just become nothing and going I'm like, in Buddhism, that's called wishful thinking. That means liberation. That means you go into the nothing, the big nothing, then no thing. You are not an object,
you are what other traditions would call God. You become no thing. You become beyond objectiveness, beyond thingness that is. And an atheists are just like, no, by not believing, I'll just get bad, They're like, no, you have to like go around and around and around until you realize that that's what you've always been, or whatever however you
want to paraphrase it. The other bit that I do is we're all stuck with the big band, I say thanks for nothing, meaning, it's just like an explosion and everything is here, and when you picture it in a film way, it's like darkness and then something explodes. But it's not darkness, it's nothing. It's nothing. You can't even picture nothing like you can't film that. It's nothing. It is nothingness. And then for some reason, that nothingness erupts
into everything. So even if you're and most of my friends and I love them dearly, are atheists and anagnostic, and I love them dearly. I'm not trying to change anyone's mind. I'm saying we're all on the same page. Basically, you have nothing erupting into everything. I anthropomorphize that nothing energy into something that we call God, a metaphor for a mystery, a mystery, something we don't understand, something we can't understand. So I call it God, you call it nothing.
What's the fucking difference? Either way, you have nothing erupting into everything, or you have God erupting into everything. You have something science can't prove, touch taste, photograph. We have no evidence of nothing or something you can't see, touch taste, photograph, evidence of God. We're all on the same side. No one knows what the fuck is going on here. That's why my shit is. Get in touch with the God and you get quiet, get still, and recognize that there's something.
There's isness in you. You are the experience of isness. You are isness. It is passing through you. It's how you're hearing me right now. That's your consciousness. It's it's hearing, it's absorbing, it's coming into you. That is your deepest DNA. And that will always be fine. Bad news, you'll go. And by the way, I understand, I haven't died, so I don't know, but I did have an experience, a very very convincing experience, where I was like, don't worry, you're a lobster.
Well I got news, buddy. You are dead. You are good. But you are everything I don't say, the void, and you are in heaven. You know what heaven is nothing? Heaven is nothing. It is everything and it is a void. And you yeah, and you are sugar in some green tea, some green tea. You didn't, didn't And it's not ie. It's hot. It's hot in heaven. Surprise, it's not green tea. A little bit of caffeine, not too much it's not
going to freak you out, just wake you up. Yes, you get heaven, just a little little sprinkling the caffeine, just a little like oh, because you're a bit jet lgged. You've just got there. What is this place? And it's filled with your favorite thing? What's your favorite thing.
In the world. Wow, it's cheesy, but my wife and daughter.
Your wife and daughter are there. But here's the thing. There's shiploads of them. It's wall to wall your wife, and it's like they've been cloned. It's nice and simultaneously a bit scary, like three hundred lilas running you and they're like daddy as one and they're like like cover you, Like yeah, Pete, it's just like a man.
And you know my favorite other thing, angel food cake. Very on the nose. I like angel food cake.
Well, the furniture is made of angel food okay, And so you can see it, you can eat it, you can just sit and it, you can sleep and it's comfortable, good texture. Yes, but also if you're bored in bed, you can just I'm start eating in your bed. It's great. It's no thing and it's great and it's everything. Anyway, when you're there everyone that's there that there's mostly clones of valid Leila. They are so excited you're there, but
they want to talk to you about your life. They want to talk to you about your life through film, because you know what they're like, Lila and Vala upset Lila in particular, always talking about film. You're like, shut up, Lela, there are other things anyway, They won't know about film. They go, what's the first film that you remember seeing, Pete Holmes?
Can I share that? On the document that you sent out it says EGY So for example E T do you have to use a movie that's also two letters? I'm like, what's eg E T? Is this a DNA code?
Eg I E et A SA P PIV.
I'm gonna tell you the first film that I remember seeing in the theater, and it's nineteen ninety one, which means I've definitely seen loads of movies. But the reason why this one stands out is because I was in Wuburn, Massachusetts, and my dad and my brother and I were going to the movies, and like the movie The Squid in the Whale, my family really was like two teams.
It was my brother and my dad and me and my mom.
So I was sort of with the other side, like the mama's kid is with dad and brother. So we're being men and the choice of what movie to see came to me. Somehow. It came to me and I was like, we're gonna see Drop Dead Fred. We're gonna see it. I am putting down the hammer. We're gonna see our dead friend, because an imaginary friend who's like funny and I think British and randy and wild. I was like, this is gonna be great. And if they had enjoyed it, I would have enjoyed it. But they
hated it. So their hate oozed on to me, and then I was filled with the shame, shame of making them watch this movie. Even my brother sold me out and didn't like Drop Dead Fred. You gotta like Drop Dead Fred. He's looking up ladies skirts and stuff. He's wild. That's exactly what little kids want.
But yeah, the elder younger, your brother, he's two years older than me, so that's horrible. There's nothing worse than sitting with someone who isn't enjoying the film. That's why I don't like taking anyone to the cinema. It's not worth at risk.
I've heard you say that on the pot. Yeah, just go alone.
Horrific, Yeah, horrific experience because you also feel that shame is so weird. It is like a feeling like you made it, like you made this film. Yes, and it's not you didn't make you didn't make that film, but you feel this shame of like I'm so sorry I put you through that.
Yes, that's absolutely right. I still remember that my dad had his hand on his forehead like this, and dude, without making it too much like my show, he is a sexual imaginary friend, like he is sort of like the ID, and like I was like, I swear I don't like this stuff because he's like, eh, look at that bed's titties, and I'm just coming up. I'm going like, I don't want to look at any bird's titties. It was horrible. I would have preferred to see the exercise.
And my dad before that, here's another answer. He was watching Goodfellas in the living room and I saw the knife scene with the trunk and I was like, yeah, I didn't make that face, and you make that face for drop dead Fred. I pretended to like Goodfellas for you.
Hey, you know what your dad was looking in the mirror, and he didn't like. He didn't like that you could see that he was looking at himself. There it was dropped at Fred. Oh my god, big. That was a big thing. That was kind of there. He felt, if you can see him relate to this film, you'll see him. So he has to pretend that he's hard, but you're shining a mirror to it. Yeah.
Can I say every time I would come in and my dad was watching The Sopranos, he would turn it off, not to keep me from seeing it, but to keep me from seeing him see it. I swear to you, I remember it vividly. Tony's looking at a stripper and eating like carrots or something. And my dad was like, if not's a sad life, and like turned it off. I was like, you, you're forty two minutes deep into
an hour episode. You're gonna turn it off. Because I walked in, my dad's still that way, he's not George Carlin, and he goes it was great. The first thing he said was fuck Oprah, fuck Lance arms Strong, and fuck somebody else, and then he went, anyway, there's no need for that kind of language, Like he remembers he remembered he was my dad. I was so I was. I was probably twenty five at the time, and I was like, thank you, I'm glad we can relate. Yeah, that's funny.
And then you were like you don't have to yeah, wealthy language. I was like, we were so close to being people.
That's really good. What is the film that scaredy the Mice? Do you like being scared py homes?
Not really? I don't.
Why is that? Is that because you're a big baby?
Oh my god, I don't. It's just not for me. This isn't my answer. But I remember seeing the movie. I walked out of the others when they were like, there's a grandma and she has bad breath. I was like, babe, I was so happy to walk out. I was just it's like, really, it was like Mark Wahlberg and Three Kings. I'm sure it is. Remember Mark Wahlberg in Three Kings when he gets released from the torture. He's so happy, yes, and he's like, Hi, Yes. I was that high because
I didn't have to ever see that grandma. I still haven't. And then there's the one where the people knock on the door. It's lived Tyler is The Strangers, The Strangers, and I watched all of the Strangers, and I'm like, I wish I hadn't seen that anytime I'm home alone or in the woods. The woods, one of God's beautiful gifts, the woods, the Little Cabin in the woods.
Never in a film, not anymore, not anymore. Never did you watch it too? No, I'm saying woods are never good in a film. No, they're never good.
No. The one that scared me the most is embarrassing, because you'll never have gotten this, I promise. The Fourth Kind. And I'm going to tell you why. The Fourth Kind.
Yeah, alien film from about ten years ago.
I think it was more than ten years ago because I was in New York. Well wait, yep it was. It was probably fifteen years ago, so I was old enough to know better. But as I've already said, I don't really see a lot of horror movies, and the conceit of the Fourth Kind is and I don't mind ruining it because you can. It's I don't think it's like a good I don't know. I don't think it's like I never hear anyone talking about the Fourth Kind. Let's put it that way the Fourth Kind tells you
that it's real. It's telling you this is found footage. It's using like body cams, it's using security footage, it's using like cruiser footage, and it's shot in a way that you'd think it was a documentary. And there's re enactments, but like most of it is like VHS footage, and I'm embarrassed it worked. I thought it was real because Brett at that age, I was like, they can't lie, they can't lie to us. It open with Mira Servino
is that her name? And she's like, Hi, I'm actress, Mira Sorvino, like talking down the lens, going like this is not a movie. This is real, and I'm sitting there going it is. Mio Sorvino said, it's real. And the premise of the movie is not only are you going to be abducted, and it shows that you probably already have been abducted dozens of times and you don't remember. That's what the fourth kind is. The fourth kind is
an abduction. So I had a roommate, but I was like, you know, sleeping alone, and every night after that movie, I was thinking, like these weird Samerians speaking aliens were going to come in and take me. And then someone told me it was fake and they made fun of me mercilessly, but I didn't even care. It was like five comedians were ripping into me for being a huge idiot, and all I was thinking. I mean, they were being really vicious, and I was smiling ear to ear because
I was like, thank God, that wasn't real. That's the most scared. That's the most scared.
I was. That's nice. I want to see that film. I want to say, a film with Miry Savena saying hello, I'm Mary Savena and what you're about to watch is real.
Well that you'd only have to watch the trailer. I believe that's the trailer as well. Looking back, there are parts. I mean, it would never trick me now knowing what we know about movies and stuff, but like there's a suicide in it. Someone shoots himself and they blur it and you're like, why would they blur it if it was it was like they just show it and they blur like out of respect for the dead. It's like pixelated, Like they did a good job. To me.
I like that, what's the film that made you cry the mice and now you a crier? Do I need to ask?
Film is one of the ways that I cry. It's one of the things I like about it is that it helps me to cry. Moonlight. I can't not cry the entire movie. I cry the entire movie without boring you. I think that movie has like a divine second meaning, which is we all know that there's something that loves us and that we love it, and we sort of have to, like we resist it. We become strong. Chiron becomes strong and he puts in his grills and he gets his gun. No one's ever going to hurt him again.
And that's our personalities. We build up these personalities. But truth, in his case that he's a homosexual, Truth is chasing you. God initiates it, beauty and mystery initiates it. If you're called to meditation or prayer, you're always seconding, seconding the motion. And that scene at the end where he's cooking for him, that's love. We don't have to say it's God. Love is seducing you. Love is cooking for you and sprinkling the cilantro on the rice. Why does that scene matter
so much? Why is the film work. When you never see them make love, you think it's gonna end in like a sex scene. You don't need the sex scene. The sex scene is him cooking. The sex scene is him looking at him and knowing him and touching his hand. And that is my belief. Is that truth, Your truth, on the psychological level and also on a cosmic level, is putting the good sheets on the bed. It wants you.
It's something that wants you. It's not a tormentor. It's not going to kick you into hell for being who you were. It's not like that. It wants to merge with you. It wants to make love with you, basically, and that's what that movie is. So I lose it. But then also just on the surface level, when he asks what is a I think it's the F word. He says, what does that word mean? Yeah, I'm just losing it. I'm losing it. So that movie is definitely one of them.
That's a very very very good answer.
I cry at most films the one I remember, and that's true. If my heart is open, I'll find something to cry at in almost any movie. But Dead at Society is the first one because it was Burlington, Massachusetts, and I'm weeping at O captain, my captain, and the woman in front of me, this birdie twat turned around and looked at me with shame. She gave me the shame look like, get a hold of yourself. And I wish I had her home. I wish I had her home address, just so I could send her a vase
full of dog shits, like who's shames. I must have been eleven twelve. Her look seemed to say, you're too young to even get this. I'm like, this movie's about people my age. I get this better than you get it, like it was a rough one. I'm sorry, and Matrix revolutions. I'm just kidding.
So many shame visits to the cinemas.
I know what is?
What is the film that you love? It is not critically acclaimed, most people don't like it, but you think those people are wrong and dumb and you hate them.
I don't know, I should have looked it up, but I'm assuming the movie Lucy is not critically acclaimed.
I love Lucy, and you're right, Lucy is a mixed bag and a lot I know a lot of people that hate Lucy and their ideots, and they're dumb.
Thank you, right, Lucy? So what all the sort of like whatever these sidebars, these little spiritual sidebars I have. That's what that movie is. When you realize that the sap in a tree is moving up, which it is, it moves against gravity. When you realize that a spring is moving up a mountain to come down the mountain like these insane world we live in. When she talks about remembering the taste of her mother's milk, you just
that movie is imbued. I'm gonna say imbued again with so much comfort and like if we knew more, we would worry less. That's like the point of that movie. And I just love watching Scarlett Johansson be so calm. You have all the fun of like a like what was that? No movies like Nobody, the ass kicking guy who never gets shot, you know nobody, But you get that with like metaphysical sprinklings, and I think a stylized direction that is really effective.
I really like that film you get do you know what you get ten points for that? That's the first answer you've given it scored weirdly, what is the what is the film that you used to love? You loved it very much? And then you've watched it recently and you don't love it anymore, And that might be completely personal reasons, or something's changed in your life. What is that film?
And why I'm glad you said it could be personal reasons, because I think Field of Dreams may still be a good movie. But here's what I just tried to rewatch it. Here's what I didn't like about it, or what felt very nineties about it. Right, if you made a movie now about a guy who makes a baseball field and ghosts show up. When those goes show up, the first thing a modern twenty twenty one audience would want to know is like, how did you get here? What it?
Where were you? Where have you been? What do you think is happening? Like, how do we replicate it? Is it science? Is this a wormhole? Is there a fold in the dimensions? And in Field of Dreams it builds a baseball field. Yeah, First of all, it doesn't show him looking up how the dimensions of the baseball field. He just knows how to do it. We would want the Google scene.
Right, you're missing You're like, there's not enough admit.
I want it to feel I want some admin.
Is that a real term it is now.
I didn't know if it was a writer's dream term. I want more pipe of how we did. But in the movie, he makes the field. Then there's sort of an arbitrary waiting where it's Christmas and he's literally looking out the window and he's like, shoeless Joe, wait yet, buddy, And you'd think something might happen in his life or in him that would change, that would make the ghost show up. But it really was just waiting, like it was just like, just wait, maybe that's fine. Shoeless Joe
does show up. It's like one of those trailers you could cut as a horror trailer. Yeah, because he built a field and then a ghost shows up. And when the ghost shows up, the wife character says, this is what she says Brett to the arrival of a ghost and even worse as predicted from a voice, So like, this is now confirmed, is real? Your husband is communicating with the other side and there's a ghoul on your lawn. She says, I'll put on some coffee. Then he goes
out and all they do is play baseball. He just starts pitching baseballs to him. And the way that the movie had dresses. The absurdity of what's happening is Kevin Costner, our parents, Brendan Fraser. Kevin Costner is pitching the ball and he goes, I'm pitching to shoeless Joe Jackson. That's how they address it. And all I'm saying, I'm not saying it's a bad movie. I'm saying what makes it feel dated and what made me not enjoy it was that it's not doing what modern films do, which is
when something supernatural happens, they play it for real. In this movie, they were like, look, we gotta get to the better stuff. We can't have a thirty minute sequence of him being like, wait, do you remember how you got here? Like why are you the age you were when you played baseball not the age you were when you died? Like are you frightened? And she just got to put coffee on. She should have said, I'm gonna get the fuck out of here. There's a ghost.
Peyton Holmes, I've never done this before. I am taking away the ten points I gave you. Oh, ten points are being removed. Very I'm very you know what. I'm not angry, I'm disappointed, and I'll tell you why. Because when you were describing it to me, it gave me shivers. And I'm shocked that you find it this way because the film, what you just described to me and what I remember of it is all the divine, is all
the things. The reason she says, I'll put coffee on, the reason he doesn't ask questions is because he's had this voice. He's had this vision, he's had this thing. It's like a dream. If he pushes it, he might wake up and it all goes away. They're all living in this fucking divine space where it's like they believe in this thing, but they're also are we mad to believe in this thing? And then the thing starts happening and it's like, of course they don't poke it and
ask questions because it might all go away. They might are we insane. It's like, I'll put coffee on. You go out there and you play with him. It's like, don't ask questions. Like he's a baseball player and he's coming and thinking, he looks freaked out. No one knows what the fuck's going on. The less fucking just keep it, keep it safe over here. And it's like a dream that's always like a dream. If we go where, if we are something, you're gonna, You're gonna get it. He's gonna guy.
Look, I'm not married to my opinion because everything you said made perfect sense to me. And I'm not saying that to try and get those ten points back, although I would. I also want to say that it's one of those movies that my dad likes, so I was watching it with a chip on my shoulder, so that could be it.
Yeah, well, I'm gonna don't know you could. I'm gonna give you three points back for acknowledging that, and I'm sorry, Listen, I don't like to be compatutive.
I'm gonna I'm you know what, Now, I'm gonna push back. I'm gonna go put coffee on. I'm gonna Can we do it again? Brett can? I'm the director? Now, can we just do one where you have a moment where.
You're like and someone goes no, no, no, no, don't don't overthink it. I'm gonna put coffee on.
Just just just just go see him, Just.
Go out there, just go see him a little bit of the holy fun.
What do what do I do? Just just I don't know.
I can't go on. I heard a voice another I'm just saying that is the more modern way of shooting that same scene with the same script.
It's happening in her eyes, in Amy Madigan's eye, in her eyes, she's going, fuck it, Now, what do I do? Some coffee on? She's doing it? So there, pay come on.
Good.
You were watching it at home, you went on a big swore. You watch it at the cinema, you'd be like, oh, yeah, I'm here in the dream.
I think you're absolutely right. I'm not just agreeing to be agreeable. I'm gonna give you one worse. I watched it in the sauna and sauna movies. I have very low, isn't it? Fifty minutes right? Five zero some watching movies and two chunks.
You know, I love health and shiit. What's the benefit of sitting at this soona for fifty minutes?
I love that I get to tell you something that you don't know about fitness.
I do. I'll do ice stuff. I don't do hot stuff.
I also, well, I do that and then I get into a cold share. It'll get your get you a nice and high. It's proper high.
What's happening in the fifty minutes in the SAWNA.
Well, I believe it's something like six hundred calories an hour.
So it's like a workout where you're just sitting still.
And watching a movie and your heart. It's really hard to stay in it's and but if you can get lost in a movie, it's easier to sit there. So it's really good for your heart. It's really good for toxins, things like mercury, things you want to get out of you. That's really helpful. Plus, if you're into wu wu stuff, if you have an ailment, chances are someone's going to be like getting it in for itsana, So I just
get into one before anything's going on. But being really hot and then being really cold just makes me feel high. I love it.
So sorry, we argue, that's our first argument. Tell me this, what is the film?
Well, they feel safe?
No, I'm never I'm sorry.
What I said Field of Dreams, Val was like, it's going to be controversial.
She knew he's not gonna like that. She knew he's not gonna like that. Yeah, what is the film that means the most to you? Not necessarily the film itself is any good, but the experience you had around seeing the film. That will always make it special to you.
Okay, I do have two answers, but I'm going to give you one and then if you want the other one, you can have it, because I want to respect the format.
Thank you.
When I was a waiter at Bennigan's, which makes immediate sense if you think about my face, but you can just see it. I was a waiter at Bennigan's. You used to get two holidays off. I believe it was New Year's, Christmas, Thanksgiving, New Year's Day. New Year's New Year' Day was two and you had to work two of them and you could get two of them off. So I was I asked for Thanksgiving and Christmas. Let's say good choices because I don't really like New Year's. Then
Jim gaff again, I had never met him. So I'm a young comedian and Jim Gaffigan is like looking for an opener. And my friend Dan Kaufman, another comedian, was like, can you open for Jim Gaffigan the weekend of New Year's at the Cleveland Improv? And I was like, of course, I'm only working at Vannigins. I was grateful for the job.
I needed the job. But I'm trying to become a comedian, so I said yes, and then I called Bennigan's and my manager's name was Matt Neary, and I think I left a message saying like, I mean, however, sweet, I am now times a million, just a sweet little baby boy, soft and clammy hand and ruddy cheeked, and I'm just calling and I'm like, Hi, I'm convinced I'm going to get fired. I'm saying, I know I already had these dates off, but I need to get New Year's off
as well because it was coming up. And I'm so sorry, I understand. I probably was like I understand if this doesn't work, and panicking, and I left the message, and then my wife at the time, my ex wife, and I went and saw Lord of the Rings the Two Towers. And when I tell you that the Lord of the Rings the Two Towers was about a comedian taking a weekend and thinking he was going to be fired for it.
The movie Lord of the Rings the Two Towers was about a comedian in Chicago who worked at Bennegan's who thought he might get fired. Every orc was just the impending loss of financial security and my job and what a fool I was, and the eye of Sauron was like, you were giving up a stable gig to do this. You probably made one hundred and fifty dollars at the Cleveland Improv. You're gonna lose money driving there, like it's a waste. You're an idiot the whole movie. And I
have that ticket stub. I have a frame in the house. It's the first ten dollars I ever made from stand up And in the frame, not behind the glass, but tucked in the frame is the movie ticket for the Two Towers because it was my little fro Dos hero's journey going like as silly as it is, and it is, I was doing something. I was really scared. I thought I was gonna lose my job, and he did not
fire me. And that's why I thanked Matt Neary on my first album, Like if you read the liner notes, I thank that because he didn't fire me and it all worked out.
That's a nice Pete. Isn't that a funniest story of you going to the cinema. I not feeling shame. I really liked it.
Thank you. Yeah. The other one is Shakespeare in Love because that's the first movie I made out with somebody and it was me and and the woman first time ever, and there's boobies on the screen and make It's like, it's like, what is happening? It's as close. I was like a three way. There's Gwyneth and I'm actually making out with someone here and my friend Nick and I had dinner with Nick not that long ago, and we laughed about this. He was sitting next to me and
I heard him go, what do I do? Like he didn't. He was so uncomfortable there was there was someone with Nick. He just was like, I don't know what to do because we were going at it. We were shakes that it was your first time, first time making out in a movie? Yeah? Nice? My first date was the movie I remember that. Jeffrey Row Yeah, not as sexy.
No, look at him having a breakdown. Kiss me. What's what's the film you must relate to?
This is gonna make you laugh, I think, because it's an absurd answer. But Brett, the film I most relate to is the Born trilogy. And I'm gonna tell you why.
I love it. Do you You don't need to, You don't need to, you get it, but you I actually think I do but please tell me.
Val was like, he's gonna laugh in your face. That this like soft, amorphous, loud. Hillary swank Mouth comedian relates to Jason Bourne like Matt Damon peak, Damon kicking ass. Here's here's why. Because Jason Bourne is a movie about getting away from your family. It's about a lot of things, but it's about getting away from your family. So he is Ray is traumatized by the government. He's traumatized by them. And I love my family. They did their best. And
there's trauma in any childhood. There's it's just heavy, it's just a lot. There's grown ups like Greek gods in your house. They're strange and they yell, and there's weird feelings. So there's that's you getting dunk. Can you commit to this? Can you commit to this program? I can't dunk. I can't. Can you commit to this program? Even sounds like my dad, I can't dunk. So he's trained his trauma does to what a lot of people. Trauma can often lead to skills.
I'm a highly sensitive person. Again, I'm not trying to I love my parents. I'm only gonna say that that one more time. But because they were unpredictable people. I learned to be a finely tuned instrument. I could see a fight coming a mile away to where I got my sense of humor, and I could divert it. I spoke Dad, I spoke Mom, I spoke my brother. No one else spoke anyone else. I really believe that I was interpreting. I was keeping the peace. That's Jason Bourn going.
I know I can run for forty five minutes at this altitude. I know the best place to find a gun is in the cabin of that truck. That's the result of trauma. His trauma was training, but a lot of us, our radioactive spider bite is suffering is some sort of feeling of being out of control, especially when you were small.
Right.
So the rest of the movies is him trying to get away from his family as they chase him, using the skills he got from being with them to avoid them. So it's just people in a room with computers going where is he? We gotta get him? That's my mom going, why don't you call on Sunday? Why are you coming home for Thanksgiving? Why are you coming home for Christmas? And I'm duck and I'm doing comfortable. I'm trying to build boundaries, I'm trying to meet people, I'm trying to
have a life on my own. And then at the end he realizes the only way out is through and he goes back and face this is his family. He goes back to the scene of his trauma, now having had great love, which is Marie. So he was transformed by a great love. He was loved for who he grew up to be, not who people see him as he was as a child. He's loved for who he grew up to be, and that love transforms him and empowers him to go back to his father, who is
like my father, and he doesn't kill him. That's the point. He doesn't kill him. You have to forgive reality, and you have to forgive your tormentors. They were doing what they thought was best, or what they thought they needed to do to get love, to get security, or whatever it might be. And he doesn't kill him. That is the point. We go back to our families and we forgive them.
Yes, yes, that's what I could it now, Tomatom That is very good. That is a very good answer. There's nowhere I was gonna laugh in your face for that all made sense to me. Good speaking of peak Diamon, what's the sexiest film you've ever seen?
Pete Hipes, I can't believe you said that, because my sexiest film is a damon film, The Masian, the Martian. I can't come without dead cats are red sand I need one or the other. I need one or the other. Look, here's my first answer. Then we'll get to the damon answer. And I hope you appreciate it as a comedy man. As a comedian, I listen to this podcast, I hear people say, hey to Mama Tombian. I hear people saying fucking all on the nose, sexy shit, and I'm just
going like, get the fuck out of here. Blue is the warmest color, Like get out of here. I'm not saying that movie doesn't turn me on. I'm just saying, like, to me, my weird answer and it goes back to when I was a kid, is comedy. Nudity will always have a special place interesting in my bonus because when I watch Youtumama Tambien, I'm like, I don't have a
best friend. I'm not like a good looking, reckless haired boy who's good at soccer, and like is charming and drinks tequila and like, I have no entry point to that. I have no entry point to blue is the warmest color. I'm no one. I am no one in that movie. Show me that movie. Where's the guy that's going like, hello, ladies, like trying too hard, boob shadow, rubber bands on his braces, Get the fuck out of here. I didn't have a best friend like that, and I certainly didn't have a
three way with a gorgeous older woman. That is not reality. My closest way to sex and sexuality was comedy, not only because it's how I saw it. Scrooged, I think her nipples are showing. Excuse me, do you remember that?
And Scrooged, I don't remember that, but I'm saying you're wrong.
I remember it. No, if it's not in there.
If I remembered it, it's been since it.
It's in the third act, meaning it's towards the end. And Bill Murray, so there's me. I'm not saying I'm Bill Murray, but as a kid, I'm like, there's Bill Murray and there's a beautiful woman and they bring her up and it's like a joke. How is this a joke? It's just bonert Town. They're going, look at her outfit. Her nipples are showing. That's the joke. I'm at home going. Those are probably some of the first boobs I ever
saw in my life. Not only are they boobs, it's sort of like a strip tea is it's like kind of visible. That's like like driving me crazy. Kentucky Fried movie with the boobs on the shower glass naked gun when he's on the ledge and he reaches over. It's not exactly an appropriate joke. It doesn't age well, but it was a bucksome woman. These are These are the airplane during the turbulence, just boobies run by. So for the weirdest answer, but the most honest answer is comedy.
Nudity still has like a neural pathway in my brain where I'm like, oh my god, because everybody's having a good time, Like I can see them like discussing the gag and the woman's like in my fantasy is like in on it and enjoying it, and even that feels fun to me. But I could see myself in that situation. I could be Bill Murray. I'm not a beautiful Latin boy playing soccer with a with a very voluptuous woman. I am like a wise, cracking, sort of uncomfortable guy.
And Comedy Boobs were like the first boobs that I saw.
Comedy Boobs is an excellent thank you to give you seven points. You're back on ten. All right, let's get to let's let's get to the sub category Traveling Bone is worry Guy Dunes film you found arousing you went't sure you should?
Cats, I'm just kidding.
They're all alive in that you went into it.
My answer is talented, mister Ripley. I know that's I want to be clear. I don't think it's troubling to be gay, you know what I'm saying, But like, as a straight person watch I think it's just incredible filmmaking where it transcends sexuality. So when I say troubling, it might be better to say unexpected. When I watch Damon and Jude Law in the Bath sort of playing grab ass and like they're both just Greek god bodies, like they're just any If they just stood still in a museum,
a crowd would form, you know what I'm saying. So I'm watching it and every time I watch that movie, Val is a real connoisseur of sexual tension, and the sexual tension in that scene, I relate to it, and I really to the forbidden love of it, Like I find that to be unexpected. I don't know if it's troubling, but.
I get you. It's very sexy. Actually, Jude Law is fucking hot. I get it. I get I get what you're saying.
But Brett, it's you know what it is. It's he's catching Matt Damon being horny for him being attracted to him, And as someone who grew up in the church and was really, you know, sort of traumatized by that, That's how I felt my whole life. One of my jokes is I had to come out of the closet is straight because like, admitting that you like boobs in the Christian world is still pretty naughty. Like it's like you fucking weird, Like it's gross. It's like keep that to yourself.
And Damon's shame and wanting Jude Law even though those you know, male bodies aren't my you know, cup of tea or whatever you want to say. The feeling of the movie, I get lost in it, and I'm like, I know what it's like to sneak a peek at somebody that you're really attracted to, and you don't want them to know, because I mean, that's what my whole adolescence felt like, because I thought sex was so shameful.
But it's also really good filmmaking because you are seeing him through Matt Damon's eyes, and Matt Damon is obsessed and falling in love or lust, and you are too, You absolute in that journey.
And not to ruin it. But then when he kills him, I mean, that is that's It's the opposite of Moonlight. It's like he's resisting the love that's chasing him, and so many of us do that. We would rather believe bad news than good news.
Holmes, Objectively, what's the greatest film of all time? Might not be your favorite, but what is the greatest film of all time?
What is your greatest?
I would say, don't look now. It's arguably top three greatest films of all time. I don't necessarily want to watch it every day, Yeah you know what I mean. But as a sort of art, the art of cinema, the pinnaclem cinema, go, it don't get much better. They don't look now. That is a fucking you.
Know, I hate to be an old person saying they don't make him like that anymore. But they don't make them like that anymore. I really, I just feel like
you'll relate to this. The trend in art of chasing what people want is so insane because when you go like, well, this was popular, and these franchises were popular, and this nostalgia is popular, and this actor is popular, and this style of director, and let's put them all together in like a can't miss movie, really makes my dick soft because you know what, no one would ever say if you got I mean smart people, I mean film loving good people, smart people, not dumb dums, not like a
focus group, like real good people, and you said what do you want? What kind of film do you want? None of them are ever going to say, Well, Donald Sutherland loses a child, not much happens. He's in venice and he's plagued by the loss. Giving people what they don't know they want is what art should be. You didn't know, and you know how I knew what you what I didn't know I wanted it was because I'm paying attention to my dreams. I'm paying attention to my subconscious.
I'm in my body. I'm listening to those cold spots in my own inner pool. I'm having the courage to fly a kite into a black hole and I pull it back and I go, oh, my god, I think Donald Sutherland loses a child, Like instead of reverse engineering, how do we give them what they already had so that we can make sure they buy it again? Is fucking shit.
Fucking shit, And it's always wrong. It's always that. It's always like the thing that is the breakout hit at some point it happens in films and it might be a Western, and then everyone goes, oh, we've got to make a shit light of Westerns, and then the Western dies again, and then the thing that actually is the breakout hit was not the thing you were planning, and then you just just fucking cycle. Like people like to be surprised. They just don't think.
Well, there was a time, you know, I worked with Jud and Jud's movies were very surprising at the time forty year Old Virgin. These like low fi, low status anti heroes like Believe It or Not younger listeners, but like before the forty year Old Virgin comedies were kind of like I had a comedy pitch about like two guys that go to a school where the ratio is all fucked up, so there's thirteen girls to every guy. That was an idea you would have for a movie
in the nineties. It'd be like, I think that would be a good movie. It's like poly sure, watch Biodome. There's like it does not age. Well, there's like shit in there that you're just like, that is not cool. But that's what comedies were. It was to say grab ass again. It was like, we're horny and you know it, and we're scoring and we were cool guys. And then Apatow comes along and he's like, no, this guy's never had sex and he's a loser or whatever. I'm playing
with your idea of loser. So then what happens after forty year old virgin knocked up Super Bad? You start seeing Dinner for schmucks. I'm not putting down these are earnest people trying to make a great movie, but it was chasing a trend. I think some of them worked, but then it did start to oversay it's welcome when they were trying to imitate the Appatoel model. My answer though, Brett, yes, is there will be blood. And that's that's my answer.
You h correct, You are correct, you got it right, correct, No, you're correct. You I led you down a path to see where you were going, and you you picked the right film. That's absolutely right.
So good and it changed, It changed my life. And in a country America that only glorifies consumerism and achievement, to have a movie that skewers and shames and belittles and shines a light on what it's like when you're just cutting throats and taking the money and actually breaks that character and shows just how sad that is, what an achievement, that's giving people something they didn't know they want, you know what I mean? It tricks you. Just it
got me in touch with my anger. He's so mad at Paul Dano's character at Eli, and I was like, I think if we're being honest. When he's like, aren't you an ambassador of the Holy Spirit? Can't you hear my son? I was like, yeah, we all sort of feel that way, don't we. Like we all have that anger. This is what I'm talking about. Forgiving reality is the first forgiveness is like it's it is a nightmare at times, it's a beautiful and it's a nightmare, and it's both.
It's holding those two together. And here's a guy who just wants to win, just wants to make it, make it blow gold everywhere. Like when I can't get a minute to come back into my office and work, I hear his voice going like, if I don't get to write this screenplay, then it can't blow gold everywhere. Like it's the voice of the untethered ego, the drive that would literally kill to not be a schmuck, to not be a loser. But the fact that it has the honesty.
It's like movies that show violence but aren't honest about the repercussions of violence aren't always great movies. There's there's you know, kill Bill, Yeah, and stylized violence. But I'm saying, like real movies to me, show a fault, blind ambition and greed and then show the consequence of it. He's alone in that sad old man sweater killing sort of his only friend, you know, like his friend of me. He murders him. He's gonna get caught this time, you know, and.
He sits likes he sits like he's shot himself, like he's sat in a diaper and he's guys finished, Yeah, that's right, Come and wipe my bomb is like, yes, of it.
The message of that movie is to one of them, is having all of your needs met or having everything you ever wanted is not the answer. And unfortunately there's too many movies, there's too many comedians even where the subtext is if you get money, you'll be okay. And I just anything that puts a dick in that cake is okay by me.
I degree give me five hundred points. That's right. What's the film that you could or have watched the most iron over again?
I am an obsessive movie watcher. I think we've talked about we both love mad Men. I've watched the whole of mad Men way too many times. But the best answer, and I have seven or eight movies written down here, the best answer for the movie that I always want to watch, meaning I watched it a week ago and I would watch it with you this afternoon is about Schmidt. I can't stop watching about Schmidt. I think it's perfect. I think it's funny, and it helps me make sense
a little bit of the world. Like it really here's what it is. Man is like a lot of times I go around, you know how, throw said the massive manly lives of quiet desperation, right, yes, that makes me sad and that weight needs expression in art. And when I watch that movie, I go like, look, here's an ordinary life, but it's filled with If you look closely, everything is there. And he learns that when he gives the toast at the end of the movie, you see
that he's learned to love the imperfections. That he stopped wanting reality to be something that it's not, and he starts loving it for what it is. And it happens because of a loss. My boy, Richard Ror calls that falling upward. He falls upward, he loses his wife. I don't want to give too many spoilers. That's in the trailer, I'm sure. And he just keeps getting broken again and again and again, and to quote Leonard Cohen, it's the
cracks that let the light through. At the end, he stops hoping for something else, he stops doing what's expected, and he starts waking up to what is and forgiving it. You see a man forgiving it. He forgives it, and we all mother fucking have to forgive reality. And it's for you. It's for you to forgive it. That's about shmiant. Okay, you're so British. I'm going to make you cry. I'm going to make you cry, salty britt. I heard you say you don't cry. I'm going for it. I'm actually
not going for it. But I also just think it's a perfectly made movie.
Really good. What's the what is the film? We don't like to be negative? Peate od you tried it. You tried it earlier, and I didn't like it today.
But now it was a question.
It was leading, but I wasn't expected to feel the dreams to get dunk to one and not on my watch? What's the what's the film? What's the worst film you've ever seen? Oh?
Maybe this is a cop out because so many people don't like these movies. But the newer, any newer thing were Superman's in it. I hate it because I don't like that style where it's like we're not even trying to look like we're not on a green screen. There's
just like blue green smoke in every scene. Everybody's saying what they are thinking, like there's no subtext, there's no appreciation for how characters and human beings actually communicate, which is sometimes you say the opposite of what you're thinking or feeling. I mean, pay attention. You do that. Everyone does that. You say you love something and you hate it, or you say you want to do something and you
don't want to do it. But in those movies, everybody's just expressing their clean, freshly faxed in opinion and they say it. Lois Lane is like, I'm a hot head reporter and I'm gonna chase this story and I don't care if you've never seen a woman in this position. I'm gonna show you what's what. And then she does. And Superman is just not a compelling hero. He's invincible, like we're saying, like I like wounds. I like things that remind us of the way that the universe works.
And the way the universe works is it works with your wounds. It works with your wounds. And Superman loses his planet. But fuck off, you were a baby and you had a you know what I mean, you didn't know them. You don't know krypton, and then nothing hurts you except kryptonite. So it's always kryptonite. It's gonna be kryptonite. That's gonna be the twist, but there was one little piece of kryptonite. Or it's gonna be two super invincible people bashing in to each other with no steaks. This
is going to be more controversial. But I have the same problem with Harry Potter. It's magic being shot at magic, and you're like, which magic is stronger? It's just peep peep peep pew. Oh yeah, And I'm like, this is steakless. This is the definition of nonsense. Like, I'm not saying those are bad movies, but Superman is just two impenetrable things trying to penetrate each other to waste the time.
Look, I say, I hate cgi hate it unless I don't notice it, and then I'm impressed by it.
Wilson the volleyball, that's a reference for val. She's going to listen to this, She'll know what I mean. Make me care about a volleyball, don't make me not care about a city. That's what that's the magic of cinema. We care about tokens like we care about them. We again to say imbue, We imbue them with meaning.
Now Peeheim's you're in comedy, you're comedian, You're very funny. What's the film that made you laugh the mist.
Here's two things I'm not. I'm not a guy who gets stoned a lot and watches movies. I actually think it ruins them. And oh, I also don't like bad movies. You know how people like bad movies. Yeah, Like, I've seen the Room, It's fine. I prefer the Disastertis. I like the movie about the movie. But Kung Pow foot fist way. If you're stoned and you don't know what it is, I don't know if I still don't know what it is. I saw it and I still don't know what it is. Val and I watched it and
I got stoned, and it's so confusing and strange. You stop trying to understand it and you just let it happen that he's fighting a baby, and you just I just started weeping with like healing laughter. I was like, they've done it, They've figured out what's funny, and it's Kung pew foot fist way. And I'm sure everybody says Borat. That was my sober hardest laugh was Borat in the theaters.
But Kung poll foot fists way really good. PMS. You've been wonderful, of course you have. No one expected anything less from you. However, when you were trying to save some dead cats and you can with yourself in in moisturizing cream, body or lube, and you went through a hole in the wall, and he puts nipple clamps on your nipples and stepped into the size of the beds, and then you've got a boner.
And then you made me jeers.
Yes, yeah. Then you had an aneurysm for no good reason, and then you jeersed and then you were dead and surrounded by dead cats. I'm passing by with a coffin, you know. I'm like, I wonder what Pete's up to. I think he's doing a show. I think he's staying in this motel. And knock on the door. Pete, Pete. He's very quiet. I can't even hear cats. Me. He's always got cats with him. I've knocked down the door. There you are. I'm not the first one there. There's
loads and loads of press in the room. They're just taking pictures like I didn't listen. I know what it looks like. I know this guy, trust me, trust me. He was trying to save these cats. I'm sure this is just a terrible tragedy to get out of here, guys, and I put you in the coffin, but I also put all the dead cats in there with you, because I know that's what you'd want. Of course, I want you to enjoy coming for the rest of eternity until you press a button saying something happens.
And I have a quarters half dollars on my eyes and they have dimes in their eyes.
Yeah, yeah, and yeah, and your boner is still there, which difficult. I have to chop off your boner and put it just mix it up with the dead cats. Anyway, coffin is absolutely packeds dead cats in you and the nipple clamps, who of course industrial strength. I'm not and I'm strong.
Yeah.
Only enough room in this coffin to put one DVD into the side. Jam it in the side for you to take across to the other side. And on the other side there is no thing. There's movie night every night, and one night it's your movie night. What film are taking to show everyone when it's your movie night? Pete Holmes, you know that's interesting.
I think the DVD that cleans the lens, you know that the little brush and your hear because I'm there to help everyone watched their movies very kind. I actually, you know, it's not the movie that I would want to show in the No Thing, Other Life or whatever, but the movie that has the most bove or or like it's just like a relic. Like I consider like a DVD of this movie to be like a holy item.
Is the documentary Into Great Silence. You have to say it carefully because it sounds like into Great Silence, Into Great Silence. It's where these French filmmakers had access to this monastery that they had never given access to, and it is you can't watch it, in my opinion, especially if it's in the theater, which I've never had the pleasure, but I've you know, turned the lights off and did my best. It just is the feeling of when someone reminds you that this is it, you know what I mean.
It slows you down to the point where you feel like you're underwater and there's asmr in it. There's like cutting felt robes with big shears, and there's like making soup and it's just like monks looking out a stone window just watching the sunrise. There's no story, there's nothing it shows them shoveling snow. But if you see someone who's present shoveling the snow, who knows that that's all they're doing, is shoveling snow, shoveling snow is enough to
convert you or help you. I don't mean convert to a religion. I mean transform you. I mean it's enough to make you go as I hope you are talking to me, and I hope it is everyone listening. This is it, This is it, and it's enough, and it's enough. Not what am I going to listen to after this? What? Not? What am I going to eat after this? Not how much sleep am I going to get tonight? But just dropping anchor in this and the great ecker Toli says, how you feel right now is how you feel about
your life. We think it's like the summary, like we're going to do all these cool things, and at the end we'll look at the summary, like the recap, the season recap, and go, that was a good life. Fuck that shit. It's just this. How you feel right now is how you feel about your life. And a movie like that will make you feel beautiful.
Just washing the dishes, well, are they going to have a lovely time movie. Pete Heims, it is lovely being avoid looking into your avoid. Is there anything you would like to tell people to look out for or listen to or watch.
T Lasso season two? Now? Can Nate have an android? Now?
Can he now that he's wicked an android?
Yeah? Yeah, now that he's bad? Yes, to have a Google phone? Well, small Wood will be out. But I always like to draw people listen to Bret's upisode of my podcast, one of the best ghost stories we've ever had on the show.
These podcast is really really brilliant. If you haven't listened to it, I highly recommend it.
That's what I'd like to promote, But specifically your episode is a great place to start because I already like you and that's a fun side of you.
Well, God bless you, Pete Himes. You've been a joy. Thank you. Thanks for having to have a wonderful nighting death. Take care. So that was another rewind classic. We'll be back on August night with ten brand new episodes. Thanks for listening. I hope you're all well. I hope you're having a lovely summer. Thank you to scrup Pip and the Destruction Pieces Network. Thanks to Buddy Peaks for producing it, Thanks to iHeartMedia and Will Ferrell's Big Money Players Network
for hosting it. Thanks to Adam Richardson for the graphics and Least align Them for the photography. So that is it for now. In the meantime, have a lovely week and please be excellent to each others.
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