Menus To Be Buried With (with Ed Gamble, James Acaster & Brett Goldstein) - The Resurrection! • Comic Relief 2022

got a clue? Dame Baptiste questions everything and more. Hello. My name is Brett Goldstein. I'm a comedian and actor, a writer, director, a bag handler, and I love films a lot. But today for comic relief, I'm joining forces with Off Menu for the second time to bring you this very special, one and only Menus to be Buried With The Resurrection. Was an absolute delight to get to hang out with Bed Crambell's and the Genie again and

bring you this hour of absolute nonsense. You have the power to do something incredible this Red Nose Day, whether it's a little or a lot, this Red Nose Day. Your donation will help people here in the UK and around the world live free from poverty, violence, discrimination and support them with their mental health. This includes helping people right now in Ukraine and the mass displacement of people

in many parts of the world. Head to Comic Relief dot com Forward slash podcast mashup to give what you can now. Alternatively, you can text podcast to seven zero two one zero to give ten pounds today. To donate ten pounds, text the word podcast to seven zero two one zero. Text cost your donation amount plus your standard network message charge, and one hundred percent of your donation

will go to Comic Relief, of registered charity. You must be sixteen or over and please ask the bill payers permission. For full times and conditions, visit Comic Relief dot com Forward Slash Podcast mash Up. So that's it for now. I very much hope you enjoy this very special episode for Comic Relief of menus to be Buried with the Resurrection. Enjoy hello and welcome to men used to be Buried

with the Resurrection. It is I Bret gold Scene and I'm joined back in aid of comic Relief by actors, stand ups, writers, podcasters, much people, fashion models and scholars. Please welcome to the show. It's only ped Lambells and the gd lovely. It's always lovely to see the order that you lead with. You led with actors this time, which was great and ended in scholars lovely both wonderful actors, but obviously putting them in order of importance. Welcome back

to the show. It's lovely to see you both. How are you. Let's start with Ed very well, Thank you, Brett. I'm good. It's lovely to see you. And we're doing this on zoom. Of course, myself and James in the same room. You're not here, even though you're probably what twenty minute cab right away, i'd say less. Yeah, he's a big shot. Yeah, I can't. I can't. I can't be in the same room as people anymore. Yeah, it's sort of one of my it's one of my things

in my rider. It does make filming difficult, but you'll not it's all the most was now just close ups. Yeah. The next series of Ted Last is going to be an absolute nightmare, isn't. It suddenly cuts the year and you're just on a beach somewhere, even though it's a seen filmed in addressing room, changing room. I don't really understand football. No, the Genie, How are you good? How are you good? Thanks? Happy comic relief this time of year again, it's our favorite time of the year. If

you want to donate, I mean you really should. It's a native comic relief. This. This is one of the ACAST podcast mashups. Mash ups. Now, last time you were on the podcast The Genie, you had renounced stand up for good. I said, I'll never do stand up and I've never been happier. Yeah, how are you now? I think it's a year later. I feel that way. Yeah, way happier. But I have booked in some gigs. I knew you. I knew it. I knew you'd crack pathetic,

pathetic announce meant to make I'm never doing standard. I knew you'd come crueling back, not as pathetic as winning an Emmy and then going and doing a half full pub gig that you'd have to. I'd say that's more pathetic. Yeah, that's worrying, I'd say, Brett. I'd say more pathet I will never leave stand up. I will never leave ship stand up gigs. Thank you very much. You're both pathetic, Yeah,

but in different ways. James said he'd never leaves stand up and he's come crawling back and you should have left stand up. Yeah. I don't think you deserve a nice life, Brett. You have to keep punishing yourself. I feel like yeah. And also because I think you you can. You're in danger if you're doing that Hollywood acting jobs. You're in danger of being like treated like you know, oh sir, oh after you, sir. So sometimes you have

to go and do a gig. Said that you can have a room full of a hundred people calling me of a cant just to know after you, sir sounds so lovely, you know much. I'd love a bit of after you, sir. Oh. I don't deserve that, don't sad to me? Oh god, oh god, please, Joe said Lasso would say. He would say, you know what they're sometimes you're just going to be count to yourself. That's what I always used to say. And I missed my daddy. It's really good. Yeah wow, I thought we just cut

to a clip then quite good. Actually it was quite good. Yeah. Yeah, I listen. I said you were an actor James A. Custer so well by the same Rationelle, if we were to invert it, there you are actually looking after your mental health and your self respect and your self esteem. You've done that for two years, and then what you've suddenly decided you're too good for happiness and you need to crawl back to stand up and get punished again. Yeah, we are you doing? Yeah? You got bored of feeling

good about yourself? Yeah? No, I was like, oh, I should probably start working again. You know, probably contend to just do nothing, so should probably start working again. That's this then, huh, we've been doing this the whole time. This is work. I don't get paid for this. Oh yeah, Benito says, just you page. It always takes them one inside. He said, there's an Amazon it's called the Talent James,

and that's not you. And Ed gets some money. No, it's been very clear about making sure he gets paid for this charity podcast. Have you done your first gig back yet? Not yet? Got your tips? You hardened road Warrior, you got some tips for me? Just remember it's not about you, yes, all right, yeah, it's there night. It's about the team, and it's about hope and kindness. I believe I believe they they're not there for your opinions, for your thoughts. They just want to hear some dick jakes. Yeah,

all right, that's my advice. So they don't want your unique take on anything. It's good advice in the room. I've never stopped doing stand up and I've really stuck to my guns. Yeah. How's your tool going, lad? It's pretty good man. I'm only four dates in as we speak, and I've enjoyed all of them, which is I mean, that's rare. Normally one in four I'm angry about. So you've got to you've got to think there's an absolute stinker on the way. How often on a tour show

is it like bad? I mean, I'm not talking to James obviously all of this, but when when you're when you're a comedian, that isn't you going to turn on the audience and destroy them for breathing weird? You know, when you're comedian respected audience, How often have you had a bad tour show? I think it's it doesn't tend to be bad ones. It's just like you're used to a certain level of excitement or engagement and then it just might be a slightly quieter audience and you know

what you don't do, you don't mention it. They've turned up. They're lovely people just because they're not laughing as loud as the last audience. They've paid their money, they're there for a night out. You're there to entertain them, and you've got to slap a smile and you've got to get through because you're a professional. Yeah, I agree, really Okay, Yeah, I've got three million tweets here. I'm not saying that I'm saying that I'll do it, but he's right, that's

what you should do. Lead Pamble. You have been brought back to life, you have been given a second chance. But what point in your life will you come back to? What would you change? Any regrets, etc. Same for you the genie Now, Brett, I'm just slightly confused about the sort of backstory here now as well, because obviously we've both done films to be buried with where we Die. Then we've both separately done films to be buried with the Resurrection where we've been brought back to life, and

now we seem to both be dead again. What happened? Will you died again? Where you did? Man used to be buried with? Yeah, last come relief, and now you've currently been dead. Now you're brought back to life from just checking to staying across it right, Okay, Yes, the format is flawless and I don't see any any other questions that should be coming up about it. Okay, Oh,

man that the series two backlash has already begun. Our man used to be buried with should we say what meal would we be brought back to in our lives? Just to sort of add the off menu flavor to it. It's sort of not a mash up at the moment, is it. You're sort of just doing Okay, yeah, yeah, no, you're absolutely right. No, we should have discussed this plan. What meal will you come back to? Any meals you regret? Lead and also the genie probably the first time I

had fondue, Oh blew my mind, Brett. Oh, you just want to re experience it. You don't want to change anything. Just the first time I had fondue, I was in Switzerland. It was a fondue night. It was cheese fondue to start, meet fondue for seconds, and then chocolate fondue for dessert. And it's probably the best meal I've ever had in my life. Wow, that does sound amazing. I mean, as you know, I don't eat anything that we would consider pleasurable.

But if I did, I mean, fund is the gold standard if I were, if I ate, if you weren't just in pockets full of carrot shavings or whatever. You do? What you what you have in these days? Brett? What's your Hollywood diet and like and good vibes? What about you? What about you? The genie? What meal would you be brought back to? Probably the same one as Ed? That sounds great. Yeah, I'd like to just come back to a meal that I haven't had before but someone else

said was brilliant. So I'll go back to that fondue meal and I'll join in with the Fundu. Who else was there that night? Ed? My dad was there. I was on holiday with my dad. I'll get on with him. My stepmum was there. I think my half brother wasn't born yet, but my half sister was there. Britt, I'd fit writing. Do you think they'd be pleased at the addition of James Is showing up? I think we'd all be confused. Depending on how many memories I have from

before when I was resurrected. Am I sort of back in my own mind or do I know everything that happened after? Well? How old are you at this point in this story? Probably twelve thirteen? Yeah, you're still twelve so and but James comes at the age years now. Oh right, I'd be absolutely baffled. I'd be like, who's this, who's this wonky man turning up? Let's start with bedroom

Pambo's bedroom first. Oh, yeah, you've been brought back to life to talk about meals and whatnot, and people they're dead excited to see you, but they want to know more about your food taste, and they wouldn't know about your life through food. Why do you tell the whole story around it? What? What? What? Why don't you just do the questions? It's mad. I'm trying to give it a fucking atmosphere, mate, I'm trying to give it. Oh, it's a magical world we're creating for comic relief, but

it kind of creates more questions than it answers. It's like, it's like, at the end of us, what it's just like? And it was the government put them under There's like what hold on? It's like? And now I've got even more questions before about these underground Yes, and then you're still thinking about it forever. Listen, this is for Comic Relief. We want to be in their brains forever. So they just keep every time they think, hang on, I've got

another question. They don't nate. Oh yeah, donate per question, just like how it works every time, every time. That's a good rule. Every time you this is this podcast and you're and you're thinking hang on. I'm not sure that makes any sense. Yeah, format wise, I've got a couple of questions. Don't know donates. Yeah, and I'll just say to donate ten pounds text the word podcast to

seven zero two one zero. A text costs your donation amount plus your standard network message charge, and one hundred percent of your donation will go to Comic Relief, a registered charity. You must be sixteen or over and please ask the bill payers permission. For full terms and conditions, visit Comic Relief dot com, Forward Slash Podcast Mashup and I do have to read that out every time we mentioned the donation, So oh you read that. I thought

you were improvising bedroom padbulls. What was the last meal you ate? The last meal I ate was breakfast this morning? What was it? Love? A breakfast. What was it? Two fried eggs, two rushes of bacon, and two little pieces of gluten free toast made yourself? Yes, made by myself. Absolutely made it in my house. I regularly have bacon and eggs of a morning. Fills me up, keeps me going, lots of protein. What do you use as oil depends what sort of mood I meant this. You could host

off many This is great, scary, isn't it? Say? What what oil do you? I was like, Oh, that's a good question. Yeah, that's a really good I used. I use some flower oil on this occasion if I'm feeling a bit, if I'm feeling a bit sort of leaner, sometimes I'll use a spray to make sure I don't use much oil. Today I thought, hey, we're making nice fried eggs. We'll use a bit of some flower or we'll go to is olive oil. Is that wrong? Yeah,

it's wrong for frying things. I'd say, yeah, because the heating point isn't as high, so it can't get as hot without the flavor changing. So the some flower oil and vegetable oils will burn hotter and get to that point faster, but very very bad for you. I don't know why. No more than any other oil, I don't think, but of course I use coconut oil. Of course you do, which is terrible. Yeah, you and Tom Cruise we have been coconut all aliver each other, which is very high

and fat. I'm surprised to hear that. I go for a way. You can keep talking though it's your turn the genie. You've got answer that it's your No, I did it way too badly. At least we've done one of these already, so people know what to expect. Yeah, people know this as the gist. Do you want to answer for him? You probably know what? When I came in, I think James was having some pok, wasn't he? Yeah?

The last meal James a was was a bowl of poque from around the corner in the I'm going to call it off menu towers, but Benito would probably call it something different, like the officers of his production company that does other things other than off menu. But I'm going to call it off menu towers. And he bought some He bought some pok. Would you must know about because you live in California? A lot? Right? Love it? Do you? What was your favorite salmon, tuna, soy sauce,

seaweed flakes of some sort, corn, mango. I don't normally have mine work corn, chocolate, sauce, whatever, check not carbs, coconut oils. Thank you, pedigree rambles. So we're just moving on. We're going to keep going. Yeah, yeah, well I don't. I don't want to be late from a pub gig. Which food do you think should play you in the Meal of your life? Oh? Hang on, So in the Meal of my life? What film should what food should play me? What food should play you in the Meal

of your life? Okay, but you know I answered your first one for you. What was it? Yeah, barroom sandals? What food do you think should play you in the Meal of your life? No, I know you've asked that a few times now, and I just think they're changing the second film to meal makes it way more confused than it needs to be. Just answer the question. It's it's very clear questions. I'll ask you one more time, but I don't know how it can be very clear. At Which food do you think you would play you

in the Meal of your life? All right? Yeah? Chips? Chips? Right? Thank you? The genie they push him on what. Oh, I think it's pretty clear. It looks like a chip. I look like a chip. Look like a lovely French fries. Don't know, a salty French frise, A little bit salty, A little bit salty. People love him, love him, hiss mainstream. No one doesn't like a chip. Broad appeal. You can do things with the chip. You can make it bigger, can make it smaller like he has done. You do

anything you like with a chip. But no one doesn't like a chip. What films should play you in the meal of your life? For gene what food should play me in the middle of my life? Yeah? Yeah, a cheese string? Excellent? We are a chip. We're a chip and a chee string, aren't we? Yeah? I think though cheese stringy. It's absolutely right. You look similar if you stood next to each other, but one of you can very easily be stripped apart in full to pieces. Yeah.

I mean, he's got me, got me there, He's got me there. I can't. I can't come back against that. He's got me now A serious one for that. I'm going to start with the genie here, because I know you're all about love. What's the most romantic meal you've ever had the genie. Josh Winnick and I used to go when we were anyone exped that to stop when we were open the spots. We both live near Manor House, and there was a place there where we'd go and have food after trying to write comedy in the day,

and Josh would never get dessert. I would sometimes order a dessert, and once I ordered just a little bowl of ice cream and they brought two spoons over, and it was very romantic the way they laid it down between us, and I think every time I've ever done anything like that, like ordered something just myself, but then they bring it over with two spoons, because you're with one person, instantly becomes quite a romantic set in a romantic feeling, And I think that's even meals I've gone

to that are intentionally romantic never feel as romantic as the unexpected romance of the two spoons. That's a really lovely answer. You would have been lived about that two spoons, They wouldn't you. I can't imagine trying to share a dessert. I would have been livid if I was with anyone who would take up. Josh wasn't ever gonna try. No, I'm safe here. It's fine. If you're with me. We'd have to divide it straight away, the romance. So I can't,

for instance, with my actual wife. Yeah, we can't do that because she has taken up a new thing, which is you cut, I'll choose. Wow, Like I'll choose if we get a small plate of something and there's like you know, and we want to share it. It's not like both get a fork or both get a spoon. It's immediately the person who cuts it in half is not the person who gets to choose the It's basically what they do in big families. Here's a question for you. You ever been to Ping Pong? I love Ping Pong.

I'm a I went there the other day two days ago. Great. I went to Ping Pong after seeing Jack as the movie I want to see Jack as Forever. And then I went to Ping Pong's brilliant but the best one they've done. Yeah, I mean that. That couldn't sound more like you're in two thousand and three. Well, you want to see Jack, asked the movie? And then you went to Ping Pong. I'm twenty twenty two, and it was it was the best jack ass they've ever done. The new Blood was great. I love the new people they

brought into it. It was brilliant, wonderful. Here's the question. You go a ping pong with two people, you and your wife, and they bring out out the dim sum and you lift up the thing and there's free. There's always free. Yeah, yeah, what do you do? Well, that's why we've thrapple. Now we've brought someone new into our relationship because we want to go to ping pong more. I'll tell you what you need to pick your battles to say. There's a chasuy bun situation. There's three chartsuy buns.

I personally only really want one chart suy Bun. I think they're a little bit too breddy. You don't get enough filling a lot of the time. So I'm having one, and I'm graciously saying please have the other chart suy bun because I know it like a hero. Yeah, I know, there's shue My coming up, and I love those pork and prawn shumi, so I know. Then when there's three there, her guilt will kick in and she'll say, well, why don't you have two of the shumi? Because I had

two of the chartsuy buns. It's all you know, it's all tactics you need to work out before you you sign on the dotted line and get married. I'd say, I'll tell you what I did. Okay, this is how we got around it, because my girlfriend and I went to see Jackets Forever and then we went to ping pong afterwards. I'll tell you how we got that. But the three dumplings thing, you bring stupid Laws with you

a very nice yeah, good shout. He's available for that to anyone, right, Yeah, if you ever are going ping pong, just the two of you bring Stuart Laws along with you. Sambos, the most romantic meal you've ever had. I think I mentioned one meal we had in Japan and the last time we had this, but that was the most sort of romantic setup. But actually the most romantic meal on that whole trip. It was an amazing trip. Was one we didn't expect to have where we just grabbed a

really nice sandwich from a convenience store. All the sandwiches are incredible in Japan, the Caatsu sandos, you can just get them from the seven elevens. And then we were going over to an island to stay on this little island, and it was pissing it down with rain, and we got into this ferry and just ate this sandwich and like the rain was just beaten down on the window and it's all steamed up, and it was fantastic Titanic Titanic. I wiped my hand down the window. I was like, oh,

like Titanic Catsu sauce all the way down the wind. Yeah. And then I turned round and she'd gone, Billy Zane, Yeah, there's only two bits on this sandwich gym? So are you gonna have to fly home? Got really mixed up. One last question on the romantic meal for the genie. I'm just sort of slightly weirded out by this story. At first it sounded really romantic, but then I realized that your romance is two spoons arrived, which is a

romantic idea. But you're happy because the other person ain't touching that spoon, so then you're just eating your dessert whilst the spoon sits, you're just staring at the person who's not sharing with you. All. Yeah, that's I mean, that's romantic, I think. Is that? Yeah, you realize that you know versions that work the best when you're not both the same as each other, as the opposites a tract. So one if you like and dessert the other person not.

That's how you know you're in a real romantic setting is when you eat all the dessert to yourself. Okay, that's it's an awful lot. Cedric Lambele's what is the best of meal you have ever had that you never want to have again? And why? I think there's certain meals that are so impressed and take you by surprise. Surprise is such a big part of it, right, that you wouldn't want to have it every day, or you

wouldn't want to go back for it again. So me and James were both been to Noma in Copenhagen, Yes, which is incredible. You don't know what you're going to get when you go in there. They just bring out all these amazing little fine dining dishes, and it's always such a surprise when they describe to you ingredients you've never heard of. I can imagine if you went back and it was exactly the same, it would be a bit of a letdown. And when I went Brett I

ate a duck's brain out of a duck's skull. Oh my god, Edward, and then they banned him from the restaurant. And I liked it. I enjoyed it, and I enjoyed the experience of it, and it made me feel big and tough. But I would not like that ever again anywhere else. I'm never going to order a duck's brain. Did you have to let hold the beak while you scooped out? You could do? I chose to do that, sure, I use every body of the animal. It's a very

disturbing photo that they sent me. Sent me the photo of it, and it does just look like a tas adermy duck on a plate, and it was pretty mad. What about you? The Genie. Best meal I've had that I'd never have again, the chick which sandwich from the Northampton College canteen. I had them all the time when in my two years at Northampton College doing my betech

in music practice. And it was just, you know, two pieces of bread, some not very good lettuce, mayonnaise, and a chick which or I guess the actual thing in the middle isn't a chick which. The whole thing as a whole is a chick which. But you know, we're talking this very standard deep deep fried chicken. Tell still, I think all which is a chick, aren't they? Yeah, well we're chick chick, very good, very good stuff. I think it's a warlock, it's a lad. Yeah, yeah, I

used to love it. Never ever want to eat it again, ever, easily never want to eat that again. But I used to be really excited about it, going into college and thinking about my chick, which I can't wait to have the chick. Which. It was a period of my life where it late means suddenly I'm a bit more in charge of what I eat every day. Had to eat healthy growing up because my mum was into healthy food, good honor. I'm so sorry, but I was always like, ah,

a dream of unhealthy food. And then I had this window where I was just like, let myself off the leash and eat chick witches all the time. And now I'm like, dad never wanted that. It's disgusted. That's wonderful. If you're listening at home and you want to chick which, donate to Comic Relief at all, Right, hang up, so donate ten pounds. Text the word podcast to seven zero two one zero. Text costs your donation amount plus your standard network messages charge, and one hundred percent of your

donation will go to Comic Relief, a registered charity. You must be sixteen or over and please ask the bill payers permission. For full terms of conditions. Visit comic Relief dot com. Forward to Slash a podcast mash up. This next question is you know absolutely the format is flawless. What's the best action meal you've ever had? Amazing stuff? Well, my ed was at this meal. Yeah, Slippy Jennies, Slippy Jennys. Yeah, remember Slippy Jenny. Tell us about Slippy Jenny. I think

it's called Slippy Jennies. I think I think that's what it was called. Oh yeah, so it wasn't the official name wasn't Slippy Jeff. The official name was was Jenny's or Zoe's or something. I come. It's in New York and it was empty, and we went in for some lunch, little cafe and there's a lady on her own working and there's four of us, no one else in the restaurant.

But she clearly was like, oh oh man, I really got to get them their food pronto, even though we weren't in a rush, and she went to get us our orders, and we heard her running back into the main restaurant, really no reason to do it from the

kitchen down this corridor, but legging it. And then we heard her lose control during the run, and then she just staggered into the restaurant holding a tray that was outstretched, trying to balance it while clearly losing her balance, and then just fell behind the counter, nearly over the top. That's great, slipped all over the place, but there was

nothing to slip over. And then she's got back up again and they served us our food, and every time we walked past it was called it slippy Jetties because when the lady fell over, you know when you can tell someone's really hurt themselves because they get up too quickly. Afterwards. There was no moment, there was no She was literally like down and up straight away, and you're like, oh god, she's it was so awful, but it only it was great. It was action, the most action packed meal I've ever had.

That's a very good answer. Is that the same for you said? I had a Turkey leg at Universal Studios and then went straight on the Jurassic Park ride. Oh wow, love it. Cave man like a cave man. The turkey leg yep. At those parks in Florida. Yep, it's so good. Legit good. Wow. When I went there, Edge told me, yeah, you gotta get it, you gotta get the turkey leg. I got it, and I was like he was not lying. This is the greatest. Were you eating the turkey leg

whilst on the ride? Like kind amongst dinosaurs? In my mind? I was, But I'm not sure they let you on the ride with a turkey leg. I think I to finish it off fully. Maybe I was in the queue and then straight on right and they said if you are this site, you're not allowed to ride. If you've got a turkey leg, you can't come either. Yeah. I was too short to ride it and then I just had to hold it. But I held the turkey leg

above my head and that's what squeaked me on. Would you be allowed to eat a deep fried turkey leg, Bradley, Yeah, that sounds great. I'd never I'd have a turkey legg. But are you allowed to buy Apple? No apples? Yeah? Yeah, can only apples. It's contract you, but they're very nice. There's lots of different apples. People like oh, apples. But you know there's Cocks and there's yeah Granny Smith, and there's the two apples, and you get to you can mix them up? Can you say that in the voice

of Roy Kent? Or list all the apples in the voice of Roy Kent. Cocks, Pink Lady, Jazz, Roll Garala, Royal Gala, Golden Delicious, Red Red Apples, gray Burn, Golden Delicious, gray Burn. I mean, that's a look. I know you've written the next series already, but you know it's a nice little new character trait for Roy that he loves apples. And yeah, all the meals in the world, if you had to, which meal do you think you could have made?

And why the genie? Well, weirdly I have chose a meal from a film actually that I look at and think I could make that and it would be delicious. Is the ice cream Sunday from Home Alone too, that he has in the in the hotel, lovely lovely as I could make it and it would taste amazing. Obviously a lot of like ice cream Sunday dishes, banana splits and stuff. I'm pretty sure I don't know if there even is. Maybe he's got bananas in that ice cream Sunday.

I can't remember now, although the way he eats it isn't as nice as I'm As a kid, I remember seeing him eating anything and that looks delicious. Now as an adult, I'd really don't like the way he's eating it. He kind of is like, can you show me visually? Well,

he's lifting a spoon up. He's got a massive bit of like you know, semi melted ice cream that looks incredible, and then he kind of he doesn't do what most kids would do his age, what I would want to do now as an adult, to just put it in your mouth and let's get as much as possible and eat it. He kind of like just runs his lips along it in a rather like because he's trying not to sweat that much. Because he's acting, and even though he's a kid, he's mcaulay culkins, so he's thinking like

a proper actor. He's not thinking like a little kid is getting to eat a load of ice it's contracted and he's contractually not allowed to get bigger during the Yeah. Yeah, So it's like just a bit too. The ice cream that's left on the spoons just quite spitting infused. What would you do, bro, if you were in a film where you had to eat a big ice cream Sunday and you wanted to do good acting like you're properly eating it, I'd have a word with the writers and go,

can we change this that he's just finished? Yeah, or he's eating a carrot? Yeah, just see be like, oh, what a lovely ice cream that was all around your mouth? Yeah, just worried that it's going to drip in afterwards, scrubbing your face. Don't get it in from my poles. What's your answer, Ledric Bambles? Anything really gross and unhealthy? I'm

like I could put that together. I think I've got the brain to come up with some deviously unhealthy stuff, you know, like on Man versus food and stuff where you see like a burger where the bun is two grilled cheese sandwiches. Yeah, I'm like, I'd say I'm always an hour away from doing that in my life. I'm like, I'm just gonna go and get the ingredients and I'm gonna make two grilled chee sandwiches. I'm gonna get the

barbecue going. I'm gonna make a burger. We have a bacon and double bacon cheese burger and instead of the bunt is going to be grilled chee sandwiches and there's going to be deep fried pickles on it. Can I speak on behalf of the listeners and say, can you please do that for comic relief and film it and put it on It's I've got previous to saying I'll film things and they're not doing it? Yeah, have you film things? Have not done it for charity though? No,

that's true. Actually for charity. If ed, does that, please donate to a relief Oh no, we're not doing that again and not. Okay, here here's the deal. I'll do it for charity, but you've got to eat a bite of it, Brett. Yeah, one bite, one bite? Yeah, okay. I don't think it should be one bike because you agree to it too quickly. It should be you should have to eat the whole thing. No way, share it.

We can share it. I'll cut you choose half and half. Yeah, no, I'll cut yeah, yeah, yeah, that's why a good sister I get to bring st it laws. What is the food you have pretended to like to impress people? Sedible bambles? The thing is with me is I do try and like everything, but there's got to be something I've not enjoyed, and I'm just sort of nodded along all with drinks and stuff. You know, it'll more be like like a wine or something where everyone is saying it's really nice,

and I'm like, yeah, that's delicious. But I think I'm so thick I can convince my own brain into thinking it's nice. I think if I really tell myself I'm enjoying something, I can completely trick my own senses. That's a lovely gift. Thick sounds like you're very cycologically healthy. No courage of conviction whatsoever. Oh yes, got no opinions you could really call your own. But yeah, not bad, just drifting through life, trying not to read books. What

food have you pretended to like to impress people the genie? Well, wine is a very good shell. Most wines I don't really like, and we have all that wine we went to a really unread and what was good about that? Actually about that lunch is it did make me go, oh, I do like wine, and this is really delicious, and maybe I don't need to pretend that I like other wines that you know, when people give me go, oh,

this is a great wine, James. They tell me it's great, and they have a mouthful and think it just tastes like all every other glass of wine I've had. But I've got to go, oh, yeah, yeah, that's good. Actually,

whereas this one. I thought that lunch that you know, that those guys invited us to, and I was like, they own this big wine shop, and like they're proper into wines, these guys, And I'm really going to have to black it, but they're gonna be able to see through me, and ah, this is gonna be a nightmare. And I was so relieved when we had each glass of wine was the best glass of wine I'd ever had, and it really did taste great, and I wasn't having

to pretend. A massive relief because I thought that was going to be a huge day of pretending and just going for the experience of like this this nice meal.

But yeah, that was that was good. And I'd say like similar stuff, like in terms of lying to impress people, maybe it's like if I am at a really fancy restaurant, it's not I don't like a dish, but like if it's just not as special you know, often if you get like a taste in menu, I find like the starters and the desserts amazing, but the middle ones are kind of like just tastes pretty normal because they're kind of doing you a bit of a bit of chicken.

You're trying to make it a bit heartier, and it tastes quite normal, and I have to really like sell it the same way I'm in selling all the other dishes up until that point where they've blamed my mind and I've been like, I can't believe I good this is. And then I'm having to go, whoa, yeah this too, Yeah, keep them coming. But actually I'm thinking this is actually I can't really tell the difference between this and a normal bit of chicken up at at home. That's when

I really think, yeah, I'm faking it to impress people. Yeah, I mean, obviously I don't fucking clear about one, and I've never understood it seems like a massive kind honey crisp fo google those saw you googled in that when we were answering the questions you just dropped on his computer, He's googled types of apples. Yeah, that's definitely going in Series four, isn't it in my brain? Googled in my brain. Okay, let's start with you, Cedric Hambler's what is the food

you've never eaten that you think it's mad? You've never eaten it. I've got it. One of my own wedding cakes. That's mad. That's mad, that's mad. The genie is, no, I want to delve into that more because I was at the wedding. I introduced the cakes, and I'm not gonna let you delve into it otherwise. The joke, his joke doesn't work that he loves doing that no one ever enjoys. Look at his little face at your wedding.

The joke is he says it was mad, that you've never done it, and then you say it expecting more questions. He goes, that's mad and then moves on, Oh that's his joke on the pot. Fucking hell, we can do it, Look, Genie, in all seriousness, I will. I will answer fun questions. What's the food you've never eaten that you think it's mad? You've never eaten cinnabon that he's mad? All right, so just expect me to it. You would expect me to have eaten it, would yeah, now, okay, let's go back,

let's do it. You're right, Hey, it's interesting you've never had a hint about I've it. It's fucking incredible, and if I were not me, i'd eat it every day. I can't believe you've not had that. That's the best feed I've ever Yeah, but that's why I haven't had it, because I know I haven't got the self control that you've got when it comes to desserts. I know if I discover I like cinnabon, which I know I definitely categorically will love it and it'll be my favorite food. Yeah,

that I will get it every single time. I won't better walk past us in the bond without getting one. So therefore I have never had it because I don't want to discover how much I like it. I lived opposite a donut Time for three years and I never went in donut Time. I never got a donut from there because I didn't want to discover how because they looked amazing in the window. I was like, if I have one, I'm having one every single day because I

lived so close to it. So I waited until the week when I was moving, and I think I had about three in a week because I was like I had it. It was like, yep, these are incredible. We wanted to try, but we just live around the corner from Flavor Toown Bakery to do incredible cupcakes and incredible cakes. And we only realize we live around the corner from there the last month before we left. And thank god, that's what we realize. Every week we're in there, just like,

get that one. I want to try that one. These are peanut butter pie. It's the best thing I've ever peanut butter pie. Which one of your cakes? So Ed had a peanut butter and sold a caramel and peanut yeah cake on the top tier one with orange carot cake with like an orange kind of curd or something going on. There was a chocolate there's a lemon curd one with like yea sponge and cream on the top. There's a chocolate one. Was yeah, I think, so yeah, so what one? Didn't you have the carrot? I love

carrot because I just didn't get any cake. And then they brought them up at the end of the night and had a tiny bit of the salty peanut one, and I was like, that's the best thing I've ever tasted, and that's all I got and it had all gone And now we've got three massive wedges of a lemon cake in the freezer. Still, yeah, it's all gone stale. Now why I introduced the cakes, which is like, you know, a very that's a great honor. Yeah, the traditional cake

announcing role, yes to so on it was James. Yes, I was furious you didn't pick me for that. But if you want to get a role at a wedding, you've got your on a specific role. It helps if you invent that role and suggest it to the couple and then you'll definitely get it. Yeah, And everyone come up to me afterwards and when I want that, because then people thought so people won't come up to me obviously and go in great job. What they thought I was the guy who was like the cake guy and

I could get them in with the cake. And they were like, please, I want that peanut, but a brittle one that's on the top, and because they've all seen that that's the smallest one. Yeah, because it was the top. And I was like, I can't help you, guys, I don't know how to I want that myself and I'm worried I'm not gonna get it, which I didn't. I mean, I think I find people will have that one. Yeah, they well they took some away and then I managed to get a little. You didn't. Even I've seen weddings.

There's always a bit where the bride and groom stuff a cake in each other. Again, you're living in Hollywood, aren't you mate that But that's in the films. That's in the films. That doesn't happened in real life. Right, Maybe maybe you're thinking about maybe you know what happened at weddings, right, and you wouldn't just be relying on Hollywood weddings if you actually came to my wedding and

didn't fly off to Hollywood. Yes, maybe you wouldn't be walking around going I know what weddings are there, big fat and Greek. Can't they listen. One of the great regrets of my life's not being at your wedding. I know, and I know you mean that. And I felt sad when I brought that up that you weren't at the wedding, because I know you were generally upset. So I apologize, Brett, I was really upset. I hope there weren't any wedding crashes at your wedding head. You gotta watch out from

wedding crashes. Oh no, oh my god, I'm assuming j Low planned it for you. What about the bit when they said does anyone here have any objections? I'd imagine someone was there at the back, weren't they shouting? What about when the vicar is acting weird and it turns out it's Ted Dadson with loads of perspectics on three men and a lady Freemen and a little lady. Wonderful film, wonderful film, wonderful portrayal of the UK Genie. Yeah, what's a food you love that you don't expect anyone else

to like? Okay, so special salmon skin rolls I love, and I don't expect everyone to love sushi or salmon skin deep fried fish skin. So that's that's up there. But also the amount that I love, I mean, broccoli gets a bad rap gets like, you know, bad rap, bad rap rep rep. You know from when you're a little kid, everyone's like, fuck broccoli. The amount that I eat it now though I have it all the time in a load of different ways, that really love it.

I love all the different types of broccoli, and I'm surprised at how much I love broccoli now. But then I wouldn't expect anyone else to be as enthusiastic about it. Can you name all the different types of broccoli in a roy Ken boy ten tender Stamn, I'll totally get into the void Ken think Kila come here they have. I don't want to be a pundit. I told you by far. I don't want to tell it. Yeah, I do have a Kelly, don't hey, listen to me. Let pirate, Let pirate. I'm proud of you, and you don't have

to be ashamed. I mean, you don't have to worry about making. That's also James's impression of Brian Cox in Succession. I don't know what's going on there? Fu fu fuck are sprouting? Fuck off boy? Cedric Malambo's Yes, what's the food you love that you don't expect anyone else to like? I like anything really salty, but I'll just have it by itself. So people love capers, people love anchovies amongst things. Well, yeah, they divide, they divide people anyway, But you're not like

people who like capers. They'll put them on a few on or whatever. I'll have a spoonful of capers and I'll down the vinegar afterwards. Wow, I love it. But question for the group. Just realized this. If I'm really living my tree, what is a caper? It's I mean, it's a good question podcast before I think you said you thought it was a berry. I thought it was a berry. It's caper berry. I thought it was a fish. It's not a fish. That's an anchovy. It's because you

put them together. I'm always like, it was just cut the little disgusting fishes. You thought they'd like little brothers or something. Yeah, if you caught some capers, it's edible flower buds, the capers. You're very natural. Sometimes you are Genie. Thank you. Er Oh, it was kicking the table, spilled all the water. All right, this one's for the two most romantic boys I know. Let's start with you, Cred.

What is the meal you would cook your lover as a test to see if you should be together, as in, you cook the meal. If she don't like it, she's not the one for you. Well, we went through this one. We did this with films. Brett. I don't think that's a healthy way to start a relationship. I don't think any sort of tests really. Maybe actually, maybe something really spicy.

Maybe maybe put a big raw chili with seeds in the middle of a slice of cake or something, and then if she doesn't think that's a laugh, then she's not with the right guy. Because I'm a prankster and I'm a legend. That's actually a good answer, though, not

to like, because you've got to respect the prank. But like when you make something that's too spicy and the person could have just goes eats it anyway, then you are now I knew that was too spicy, and they could have just told me, no way, I'm doing that. But they've given it the old college try. They've eaten it anyway. That feels good with a good person. Never use that phrase before your test is I'm with a

person who won't ever express how they really feel. Yes, yeah, I'll keep that to themselves if they if they're ever upset with anything I do, they've just got to really just keep it under their hat. Yeah, yeah, yeah, will you marry me? Yeah? Yeah, you know I want them to put just put on a happy exterior on the outside, but inside they're really hurting. Yeah. Oh, it's so that you get where will be heaven Knows. I tried do you want a part in season three seas? Yeah? Yeah,

I just want to get in the writer's room. Man, Just I've got all these ideas. You hear him and popping off at me. Do you want to writing it? I'm talking about you're acting as an actor one episode? Can James sing the theme? Just don't mention it? Just like that, I'll just let me do the heaven knows. I've tried normal, the Marcus Mumford stuff and then at the ends go heaven knows. I tried what is the

meal that made you the most uncomfortable? The genis when I was younger and the family were at a meal at someone else's house and they don't normally cook, and they were like, I'm just trying to just trying to recipe. I just thought to try it. I don't norbly cook and it was was my memory of it is it was mainly like kale and cabbage and like a load of green vegetables that I actually don't go that well together with loads of orange peel in it, Like they

just the orange peel and it tasted like composts. But you know, someone's like just put all their scraps of food from their potato peelings and stuff into one bin, and it's like it was really bad, but to be polite, said it was nice. And then they were like, great, there's loads more. Do you want some more? And then nowadays as an adult, i'd probably get round it going I'm full. But it was great, thank you. And then

I was like, whoa, you know you're a teenager. I think I've said I like it, so I was like, yeah, sure, And then the second serving of that was I was physically uncomfortable and also just like socially really didn't and I was thinking in my head, now, is this going to be a thing where every time we come, they're gonna be made your favorite the compost bin? Again, Yeah, it's very uncomfortable. It was very I can still taste it when I think of it now. It was not nice.

That made me far as well. All right, Yeah, I imagine if arted, but that was probably a blessed relief. Later one probably enjoyed that. Send me members. I was on holiday and it was in Brazil with my family and we went to this tiny little restaurant there's basically a lady's house on the side of a mountain. She cut this beautiful Brazilian food and it's like a buffet.

There were a few people there, and part of it was there was this like spicy vinegar oil stuff that was basically like a bottle, like an empty water bottle, and she put loads of vinegar in it and then loads of little really spicy chilies, and then screwed the top on and just let it sit there right, and then pierced a hole in the top of the bottle and then that's like the shaker to get it just a little bit of this hot vinegar to get on there. And I got myself second helpings. It was so good,

a big pile. As a big fat boy then really really enjoyed just having huge piles of food. And I sat down with it, and it would be noticed that I'd got second helpings, and they were like always getting second helpings, must really like it. But I'd taken a lot of food. I'd taken a lot of food, and there were other people then I'd probably taken too much food.

And then I went to put this vinegar, the spicy vinegar on, and the top completely came off and I'd say maybe half a liter of that vinegar with the chilis went on all over my food. So at this point, my dad's laughing, my brother's really laughing, and I'm I'm like, well, that's awful. I can't I can't eat this now. It's like it's inedible. And my dad was like, well, no, you've got to eat it. You've you've literally taken all this food away from these people, like they've spent ages

preparing this food. So I just had to eat it, had to eat, and I ended up crying. I was squatting on the floor. I drank. I drank like two massive bottles of Laga, just like slamming Laga just to try and get through this thing. And I was just like gone bright red and crying and sweating. Just to be polite, I was trying to be polite but being so impolite at the same time, because I was like squatting on the floor, eating and farting and shouting like

this is awful, what a horrible story. We're now coming towards the final question. This one, I'd say the best of times, this question is a tricky one on the normal podcast, but here we are the genie, if you could feed a child only one food, what food would it be for the rest of their lives? Okay, is what's happened, good friend of yours, Let's say Ed in your case the genie right, Ed, Ed's had a baby. Congratulations said, he said, he's made you. Kay can answer

for the christening? Great, and he's not made a godfather. But he said, you're like a godfather, even though I'm going to actually assign someone much more appropriate as a godfather. But you're like a godfather. But I'm leaving the baby with you. The kid, it's now, it's great, so quick, it's toddling. Now, eat solids. And I want you in this day to infuse the child with the most love and make the child know this is what what food is. This is what it's important in life. So you make

one meal for the kid? What is it? Right? I mean again again, the more you explain to the less the question made sense. Yeah, I mean donate now, don't just make the numbers up. Okay, just before I'll read it one more time before we go into it. To donate ten pounds, text the word podcast to seven zero two one zero. Text costs your donation amount plus your standard network message charge, and one hundred percent of your

donation will go to Comic Relief, a registered charity. You must be sixty not over, and please ask the bill payers permission. For full terms and conditions. Visit comment Relief dot com, Forward Slash podcast mash up Shepherd's Pie. Okay, why just think it's a very homely meal. I think it really just start us feel like that's that that's what you have it at home, right, and make you feel like your home boring. It's a nice image you

and and Eds toddler and the Shepherd's pie. Yeah, quite a heavy meal for little kid boring my kids not having Shepherd's pie. Yeah, you're kid, You're dead. You don't ever saying this my kids. I'm putting it in my will. It's not allowed. Shepherd's pie. But too boring. Okay, Well, I guess if it was Ed's kid, I've given the pickers basket or something that Ed liked as a little boy. He'd like the pickers bask, I'd like the pickers basket.

Sharers started platter, used to have its my main course? Yeah, lovely. So I guess if it was Ed's kid and it's in this thing upon the Godfather and he's dead or whatever. Yeah, I'll give the kid the pickers basket. Okayfaus, it's a genetic kid, I'll give him a Shepherd's part because I think it feels like home. Well, if it's my kid, But I say, I don't like Shepherd's pie, I'm just I'll leave you with the kid. I go by the way,

I don't like saves pattering. Well, your kid. Your kid's probably just got to make his way through the year's worth of beef jerky that's in the garage or something. Yeah, surely just drowning in protein powder. Yeah, but scarface be Bedrick crambles. Yes. In your scenario, you're on a tube and there was a parent with a kid. The parent got off the tube, that kid didn't get off the tube of the doors closed. Yeah, and suddenly you're with the kid, who are like, oh shit, it's just you

and this kid on the tube. Coach, you're pulling the next station and you're like, hey, kid, maybe your your parents going to come on the next day. You wait, no parent comes, You get on the other line. You go back to the station. Parents not there. You're making him to go up and make announcement. It's a nightmare. Can't get rid of this kid. And the kid is cute. The kid is like a Hollywood kid, really cute kid.

And he's like, what's your name, mister, And you're like it's led and he goes, hey, lad, I don't know where my papa is. And you're like, oh, oh shit. Before yeah, eventually take this kid home. You're like, I guess this is my kid now. And the kid is a little bit scared, but he trusts you and the kid You've gotta make a meal for that kid tonight. You want that kid to feel safer and make that kid feel loved, and you want to make that kid know there's a future for him. What meal you're making

that kid before the parent comes to collect? So I'm not called I'm not called the police at all. No, no, no, would you you better hold onto this writing job with both hands and never let go a young man, Never never let it go. No, because you you've taken it as a sign from from from God. You've gone, I guess I'm meant to raise this kid. You're mista, So I am raising this kid. It's kidnaps. The kids got nap the kid. You've accidentally kidnapped a kid believing that

you're an amation from God. Is the kid young enough that they would eventually forget that they were kidnapped? And I could invent a whole backstory for the kid. That's your hope. Yeah, that's okay. So I don't want my kids to be fussy about food, so you've got to go adventurous early. But yes, I'd like it to be homely and warming and still delicious. But you don't want any faff later on. Or I won't eat that. I don't like that it's got bones in it. I don't

like that it's got it's so spaghetti alvonglay lovely. The list is what's fungala? Clams? They're still in the shells, so they're gonna have to the clams out of the shells, and it used to having all that around there, you know, And it'll just make them less fussy in terms of eating. But who doesn't like spaghetti? And also I can join in that's lovely. And when the parent knocks on the door three hours later, yeah, oh thank god, where's my child?

You got? I just put into bed. I just he didn't have the sign on him, but his allegics to seafood is he Okay, I say we'll go and have a look. He's I've put him to bed. I told you, where's his papa? Yeah, this is puppa. He's pussing his papa papa earlier. Good stuff. Well, I think what we've done for charity today cannot be underestimated. The bravery that the two of you have shown in helping people in the is again not to be underestimated. Thank you, and

I really appreciate it. Okay, here's the thing. Sure, I brought you back to life, and I'm glad I did. And you know what, You've been wise enough and good. I'm going to let you leave. However, however, just in case something were to happen and I changed my mind, what one meal would you leave in a will in case you died again? Lead panbles. I'll ask the question everyone always asked. Does it have to be from from the foods that we've talked about today, No, it can

be a brand new one. I'm leaving my lasagna described the lasagna. Please, It's like any lasagna would have had before, but I pack it with more flavor. The ragou is slow cooked. I put more cheese in between each layer, mozzarella parmesan. I put cheddar in the bechemal, even though you're not supposed to it. Just you take it out. It's stretches, it's melting, and then you leave it for two seconds and it becomes rock hard with cheese. It's

a beautiful thing. I've never had this before, never had lasagna. You must come over, please, you must leave it to change in your in your will, Yes, the genie. What would you like? What meal would you like to leave in your wheel? Treats a broccoli pasta? Actually so broccoli pasta. Yeah, talked about it on the last one. Last men used to be buried with my favorite favorite recipe. I'll make it at least once a week. We've got. Me and my girlfriend have gone through stages of eating it way

too much. It always sounds good when whenever one of us says want truths of Buffy pasta tonight, the other one's like, oh, that sounds amazing. Last time I said that, my girlfriend said you want truth a Boccy pasta tonight? I went, that sounds amazing, and she went, it does, doesn't it? It's prophetic? How it still still sounds amazing to us. We asked. We were with them the other day and we asked James and his girlfriend about it, and they both glazed over in a way that suggests

that we eat that so much. But they were both thinking about it and they both wanted it. Yeah, it's just delicious. I was thinking Ed's doing a show with Tom Kerridge, and I thought the other day, I bet I could make true It's so broccoli pasta for Tom Kerridge and he would think it was brilliant. He would, I thought, I bet, I bet he would think it's brilliant even though it's a very simple dish, goes straightforward. He could do it in his sleep. I bet it

still blow its mind if I made him too. It's a Rocci pasta. You can ability this is amazing. Okay for comic relief, Ed and I are going to make a cheese tasty double yubag and bun thing that I'm going to have one bite of. Now you are going to cook sure It's so broccoli pastor for Tom Carr. Look carriage, if you're listening, if you're if you're up for it, let's do it. I will happily make a cho it's a broccoli pasta for tom carriage. He'd go,

oh that's lovely, that that's lush. Yeah, yeah, well you two, Is there anything you would like to say before you head off into your your life. But nice to see you, Nice to see your Brett. We're going to get you on even though you keep you keep saying you don't want to do it and that you've got nothing to say, We're going to get you on proper off menu one day. Is that what you say now that you don't want

to do it? Because before there was a very long stage where you were angry as for not having you on it yet, and now if you changed it to you're not going to do it anymore? Well, no, I was, you know, deeply offended not to be asked. I mean I wanted to do it. Yeah yeah, yeah, okay. But every time I've ever dangled the possibility in front of you, you immediately pull back from it. That's what's always happened, because I am like, well, I mean, what are we

going to talk about? What? What? How are we going to fit an hour? The Genie Rederick Framble's what a delight? I love you both. Love you have a wonderful and happy Comic Relief to you. Happy, happy comic relief to you. Yes, Relief, love you, Bret Heaven Nose, try mineapples. So that was men used to be buried with the resurrection. You have the power to do something incredible this red Nose Day.

Whether it's a little or a lot. The money you donate will help tackle poverty, take action against violence, and bring an end to discrimination. Give now at Comic Relief dot com forward slash podcast mash up. Alternatively, you can text podcast to seven zo two one zo to give ten pounds today. To donate ten pounds, text the word

podcast to seven Z two one zero. Text across your donation amount plus your standard network message charged at one hundred percent of your donation will go to Comic Relief and registered charity. You must be sixteen or over and please ask the billpayers permission. For full times and conditions, visit Comic Relief dot com podcast match up. Thank you all for listening. I hope you're all having a wonderful time, and in the meantime, take care and please eat excellent to each other. Fo