Leslie Jones • Films To Be Buried With with Brett Goldstein #279

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It's only films to be buried with. Hello, and welcome to films to be buried with. My name is Brett Goldstein. I'm a comedian and actor, a writer, a director, a cheeses for us mess and I love films as Ebane's a Scrooge once said. I will honor Christmas in my heart and try to keep it all the year by playing them up at Christmas Carol soundtrack on hard rotation even in summer. Excellent idea Ebenezer Scrooge. Every week I invite a special guest over. I tell them they've died.

That's the whole point of a minute.

So Leslie Jones is a star best known as a stand up, a ghostbuster, and a legend from SNL. She has a new book out called Leslie Fucking Jones, which you must buy. We had never met before we recorded this. We recorded it on Zoom a couple.

Of weeks ago.

She hadn't done the homework and that made it even more fun. She's so funny. She's such a joy. This is one of my favorite ones ever and I really think you're going to love it. So that is it for now. Merry Christmas, and I hope you very much enjoy episode two hundred and seventy nine of Films to be Buried With. Hello, and welcome to Films to be

Oh my god, what an introduction. That is a hell of the least you deserve. That's the hell of a intro.

By the way, your character on ted Lassong is literally one of my favorite characters in the world.

Get out of here.

I love when people start off all mean and you end up loving them by the end.

It's one of my favorite character arts.

And you played it so fucking good, dude, Like the relationship that you have with the players and the coaches and your niece and the it's just so. It was played so good, dude. You deserved all of the awards. I just love, love, love love loved your part. You were fucking fantastic, and.

That's what we've got time for. Thank you so much for doing this show. That's likely everywhere we've all enjoyed us as about a lovely day out.

We leave it there.

Thank you, Leslie. That's that's far too kind and very very kind of you. I'm a massive fan of yours and I'm excited to meet you. Thank you so much. What a lovely thing.

It's so crazy when people that you watch on TV that you like like you and you're like, oh, okay, that's great.

It's crazy.

Well listen, let's let's not because let's not make each other cry. It's too early, all right, it's too early in the podcast.

Where are you? And do you.

I've got so many questions for you, but one of them is you just had that night life for ages and more incredible?

Do you miss it? Well?

It was only five seasons, so you know, five seasons was long. It's a long time because we do a lot of work. But do I miss it? I missed doing the show, but I don't miss all the politics and everything around it.

It was time to go.

It was definitely time to go, or if I didn't go, I wouldn't be I wouldn't have been able to leave, if that.

Makes any sense. It doesn't make sense.

If I would have stayed any longer, then I would have got to the place where I wouldn't be able to comfortably leave, and it was time. I was about fifty something when I left, so I was like, yeah, I gotta go.

I'm getting old.

I gotta go try to do other shits, you know, before the life runs out.

So wow, you.

Know, if they had got me in my twenties, I probably would have stayed ten years.

To you, other than being a movie style, are you doing most stand up at a minute?

Yes, that's all. You know. What's so crazy that people don't know me.

As a stand up And that's how I made my bread and butter. So when somebody's like you're a comedian too, I want to punch them in the face. You're like, are you serious? That is like my main job. I am a comedy yan. You know what I'm saying. It's like, are you kidding me? I'll start performing right now.

But where where are you at with it? Are you touring at the minute or you're building a new show? Where you're at?

Yes, I'm touring.

I'm touring a lot of little places, but I'm mostly in La working on new stuff. I'm always at the comedy store, just you know, working on new material, making sure that I have. I actually have two specials in the what do they call it, in the in the in the.

In the chamber as in their shot ready to Chamber, Yes, in the chamber pooming. Yes, I already have enough material for two specials. So that's great. Yeah, I'm always writing, Yeah, always right. I mean, it's the most fun, isn't it? Yes?

What about the I mean I asked this because listen, I deal with the things. You're a multi hyphen it or whatever. Of all the things you left, you left the SNL. You're like, I've got so much I need to do in this life. What's left?

Well, you know what's so crazy? Like, you know, this industry is such a weird industry. So I still want to play like a villain, you know. I still want to play a villain in a movie.

You know.

I still want to do a superhero movie. I still want to do stuff like that.

You know.

I definitely want to get the podcast back up. I want to write some stuff, you know. But it's just like, do I have enough life to do that?

Like I'm olding you. You're saying it like you ain't got long.

I'm fifty sick, I'm fifty six. I turned fifty turned fifty six this year. I know people don't think that I look like that, but I am bitch.

Like, hey, stop calling me bitch and big. I know I'm talking fifty six. You know I ain't got double on that. You got another fifty two guys, surely.

I hope you're right. I hope I could be a bety White. That would be That's what that's the goal is.

Be bety white is a good mission for everyone.

Yeah, and I'm dying right on my birthday, like on a hundredth birthday. I want to die like right on one hundred birthday. As soon as I blow out the candles. I want to be like, well, listen, you've fuck up the whole party.

You've spoilt it.

Because I was going to tell you that you are you are already dead. This is this is what the shot is. You are dead. I forgot to tell you that.

Yeah, that's what somebody said. Yeah, so you died? What what is this? What is this?

Well, this is I guess this is what did I die of? Though, Well it's up to you. But it sounds like you died blowing out the candles. But I don't know what you died of Nah.

Nah, if I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die either on the toilet or on a man's penis.

What if? What if? What is in the same position, same position for both of them?

May I offer this up, given this is your dream death, Not only are you on a man's penis, but you're also on the toilet and you're blown out?

Can your hundredth birthday? Can? How the fuck? That's a busy bet.

He's sat on a toilet. He says, baby, come sit here, it's your hundredth birthday. Let me give you a little treat. He's got a cake for you. You sit on the penis, you blow out the cake, and what neither of you die. What neither of you knew was that there was a major gas leak in the bathroom. And as you blew the candles to the flame at the gas and you all explained, no.

No, I don't want him to die.

I don't have to die, but I could. I could die on him. I just die from a heart attack, or not heart attack, just death.

I'm just dead. I'm a hundred ship. There shouldn't be no excuse. I just do you.

Think the man that you that you die on you don't want him to die at the same time, but I worry, like.

I don't want him to die.

But he's he's gonna be young. Yeah, he's gonna be so young. But imagine him calling Let's say you're in a hotel. He has to call the concierge.

We're not gonna be at a hotel. See, first of all, you think that none of this is set up. All this is set up. This is in the women, this is this is in the directions of when. So no one's gonna be surprised. Everybody's gonna be like, Yep, she died just like she wanted. And he knows as soon as I die, he's just gonna call call my aunt Pat or Hoevers taking care of and said, hey, she's gone.

She's gone an anti Pat.

No Anti Pat's like, uh, she says, Auntie, she's sitting on your pa anti pad news.

She said, yep, she didn't tell the pastor. That she didn't tell the pastor. But it's cool.

You don't got to know the young man that you dieing. Is this a one offul you've been with him for a while.

Nah, he's somebody that's been around for a while planning on getting me like.

A young a young dude.

Okay, his mody just be around his My concerned for the young dude is that? So he knows the whole plan, right, So you're asking this, He's had a lovely talking, he loves you, he's having a great time, and then he knows he's on your nighty night, the night, last night

Listen, when I sat down with him and made this deal, he knew what he was getting into.

He knew, he's been training, he knew the risk, he knew we've we've we've we've.

Done test, We've ran this a couple of times. He's fine, and plus I'm leaving him a whole bunch of money. He's fucking fine.

He's fine. He can perform under the secumstances. By the way, this is the one that kills me.

Yep, matter of fact, it turns him on. That's kind of.

That's his thing. Yeah, killer Dick.

The thing is, with that being your fetishes, you don't get to do it many times.

I guess nah. I mean, but that's you know, coming and going.

You know, we're ten minutes since, but that's not ready. You've had the best death that's ever happened so well, so far?

Is that good? Well? Do you worry about death? Is this something you worry about the daily? You know? I didn't used to.

I didn't used to when I was young, but now that I'm getting older, I do think about it.

I always think about.

Like, cause you know, a lot of my friends have passed away, you know, and most of my family, my mom, my dad, and my brother's gone, so death has been around me. I just I think the only thing I'm worried about is how I'm going. You know, I don't know if I'm worried about when as much as how right. You know what I'm saying. I don't want it to be no long drawn out death like cancer or something

So I don't know. Do you think there's an after life? Do you believe in?

What?

Do you think? Yes? I do believe.

I believe that we live the afterlife that we plan in life, if that makes any sense, Like you you form your own hell.

I think you form your own hell, and.

If you're if you're not a good person, then that's probably the aura that you're going to go into. I think that's the darkness that you carry with you to your death. But I think that if you live a good life and you live it out, then you you treat people good and stuff. I think that when you pass, you go into that type of afterlife. So yeah, I believe that there's got to be something bigger. I mean, I'm not knowing what it is, but I do think that there's something bigger than us.

I do believe that, well do you? So?

Do you think if someone's bad that the hell that they create comes from their like subconscious guilt to it? Like, what if they're bad and they think they're great. They think they're great.

Well, that's not how karma works, is it. That's not how the universe works. The universe. I mean, you're lying to yourself. No one the universe doesn't lie to you. I mean, even if you're lying to yourself, the truth is being told to you everywhere you go. You can lie to yourself all you want to, but your friends are telling you the truth. Your actions are telling you the truth. The people around you, the things that happen to you are telling you the truth. So you can

Come to you.

I believe that they'll let you know that, Yeah, motherfuck you was a fucked up person.

When you was a lied like you was fucked up. You know.

I don't know if I believe in hell in heaven. I don't know if I believe in that concept. I think I would love to. I would love to believe, but I don't know if I believe in that completely. I do believe in reincarnation and stuff. I believe we come back.

I believe that. I believe that. I believe.

But this this thing you step into, you think that that's like a dream that happens when you die, or you think it's you go straight to the next life.

Yeah, I think it's a process.

I mean, I feel like it's like, hey, this is how you lived your last life, Like you better go into.

Your next one? Fucking do you want? You know what I'm saying.

I think that each life we elevate subconsciously and like our personality and stuff.

I think it develops each life.

I think each life that we come back and we tried to fix what we didn't do right the last time.

I think. I mean, I love it. It's a nice little concern, you know.

Yeah, Well listen, I got I got news, Leslie. There is a heaven on the way to the next life, and you are welcoming it, okay, And it's for the good. Oh well, it's for good people. You're welcome. Turns out you're very good. Well, so I hope you're right, and uh, people very excited to see it. But it's filled with your favorite thing. What's your favorite thing?

Uh?

You mean my heaven? Oh that's like weird. Yeah, it's filled with weed. This is so weed. Really good food.

I really like good food, Like it doesn't matter what it is, as long as it's good, Like, as long as it tastes really good. I don't care what it is, steak, chicken, whatever is. It just tastes so fucking good. And I like sweets and TV and I love TV.

So it's so funny. That's funny.

You ask me that whenever I'm sitting by my pool, Like I sit by my pool and I smoke a joint and I'm enjoying my day, and I always ask God, I'll be like, yo, if I die, is my pool going.

To be there? Like it's.

My God bade me smoke wheat, like because this is the best feeling ever, Like this is great.

Well, let me tell you it's all that. The place is made of weed. You see in a weed chest, and there's this buffets, got sweets.

It's called all the best food. You fucking you love it.

However, everyone in heaven very excited to see you, but they want to talk to you about your life. I want to talk about your life through film. And the first thing they asked you is what is the first film you remember seeing Letsie Jays.

Ooh oh see, that's so hard because I'm fifty six. That's such a long time ago.

Oh my god. I think the films. See, when I.

Was a kid, I was like a night out kid, So I would watch all the old movies, like the dancing movies, the Bing.

Crosby and all of that. Any movie like that.

Shirley Temple probably would be the first thing that I remember. Shirley Temple wo and Shirley Temple Day, and I was in love with Shirley Temple. I thought, this little girl is fucking so talented, and she dances with the fucking slaves.

She's fucking great man.

And then I think, you know, then the series of black movies, like cause I'm a black family, of course, so the Wiz, all of the Sidney poort j movies with Bill Cosby, all of those movies. Blues Brothers was a favorite in our house. Blues Brothers in Greece were two serious movies. And I've seen Blues Brothers at least fifty times. At least fifty times.

Grease maybe one hundred, you know what I'm saying.

So those were the two movies that we would rent out every weekend, no matter.

What you'd watch as a family, or you and your brother, was it just you and your brother.

Me and my brother, me and my brother.

But as a family, we always watched the up to date scary movies.

Like my dad. I don't know what the hell was wrong with my dad.

He would let us watch scary movies like The Friday the Thirteenth and and all that shit, like Exorcist. I remember him taking us to the fucking drive in to see Exorsus and my mom was so mad at him because I.

Could not sleep for a month.

My brother had to sleep in my room for a month because I was so scared. And I kept telling my mom. I was like, you know, the reason that the devil took her body was because she was weak and I'm weak? Am I weak?

Like want the devil to come and get me?

And she would always be like, yeah, you're kind of bad the devil and I'd be like, don't say that, mom, shit. So yeah, it's like we had My dad was in the army and my mom worked, so we watched a lot of movies. We watched a lot of TV. He was younger. He was three years younger than me.

Yeah, because the next question is, what's the film that scheduled the micet? But is it The Exorcist or is there another to.

This mother fucking day.

I do not even turn the TV on if I know Exorcist is shown. They got a new version of Exorcist and I was going through I think it was Peacock or Amazon, one of them, and that shit popped up.

I almost jumped up and ran out of the fucking room.

I don't even want that played in my house because I'm scared that I'm still gonna get possessed by the devil. The Exorcist is one of the fucking scariest movie ever their original. I haven't seen the remake, but I'm assuming that it's scary as him.

But back in the day, they used to make all the Damien. You remember omen only.

One, two, and three, all three in the Motherfuckers you wanted to kill that little boy, You're.

Like, what the fuck? The little boys evil? Nobody ain't killed him yet.

The fuck and I put some rat poison in his fucking food something.

This motherfucker's a menace Like he wasn't. He wasn't real menace. That was a fucking.

Crazy little boy, This little boy was crazy and they always went to the woods with him.

Yeah, he gonna kill you. He taking you to the woods. The fuck. He's a fucking menace. I think it's quite good parenting.

It's possibly good parenting to take the exos, because then then then they have something on you, like you're weak. Anytime you're annoy anytime you know you, they tell you you're weak. God, you're the devil.

The devil is gonna get you.

Ah. What about what about crying? Are you a crier? And if so, what is the film that made you cry?

Oh, let me tell you.

First of all, Ted Lasso, I cried every episode, every fucking episode. Oh my god, when the when when dude came with his father, when the African father came.

Down, I was choking. I was.

When he when he when Homeboy took you to the Windmills, I was. Yes, I am definitely a higher And I if I want to cry, I make sure that I find a movie that I know I'm gonna cry on. So there's so many movies. Oh, Lady Sings the Blues. Lady Sings the Blues is probably my first heartbreak movie.

Just heartbreak. Oh no, Sparkle. How the fuck could I forget about Sparkle.

Sparkle is definitely the movie that every time, every time I cry, you've never seen Sparkle. I'm so happy I get to tell you about this movie. Okay, it's like to dream Girls. It's like to dream Girls. It's Irene Kara. It's about three sisters that start singing together.

One of the sisters is on drugs.

And it's it's just goes just oh my god, it's so good. Philip Michael Thomas.

Is in it.

If you look at it, you're gonna see a lot of old people. But it's so fucking good every time. Yes, yes, it's just like it's just like it really is that it's so fucking good. I'm telling you. Every time Sister died, I cry like a mother fucker. And and boys in the hood, every time Ricky runs up that goddamn alley, I'd be like.

Zid zag, mother fucker said.

Zag and he never said zags. And he gets shot every.

Time every time running in a straight life.

I told Lawris that he was dying. He was like, you don't know how many people come up to me and tell me that. Yeah, yeah, but I'm a crier for sure. I'm a crier for sure.

I think that's good. I mean, do you cry in life or do you use TV? I mean films to cry, so you don't cry in life.

You know what's so funny? I do cry in life, but I have a time limit. I don't cry long. If I cry long, it really. The only time I ever have cried long is if it's a heartbreak. If it's a heartbreak, I cry. I cried through the day. But if I'm upset about something, I'll cry and then I'll be like, Okay, it's over, and then draw my eyes.

Let's solve the shit. Nice.

You know what is the film that you love? People don't really like it. It is not critically acclaimed, but you love it unconditionally.

Show Girls. I was so easy. That was the easiest thing. Show Girls? Correct, show Girls? How the fuck people don't love Showgirls? You're crazy?

You are crazy, crazy masterpiece and always was, they were, they were.

And they think it's a piece of shit. I don't know why.

Yo, when she beats that guy's ass at the end of the movie, best scene ever, it's just I love Showgirls and people be like that was the work.

No, it was not. It was Elizabeth's best fucking word. No. I loved it, the way she danced. I mean, think of the.

Dancing and that shit Gina, Oh my god, come on, come on, I love that movie.

And people hated that movie.

It's got d Cooper in it. It's fluless. It's a flawless masterpiece.

It really is, I mean.

Of naked ladies, and so they have to hate on it.

It was so oh my god, how are you gonna be scared of that of ladies? When there was a point where when she did the nipples, I was like, are you kid?

This is this is fucking glorious. Oh my god. I loved her and I loved that movie. That movie were so good. Alway thought it should have been The Showgirls too. But maybe it's time. I don't know, Maybe it's time. I don't know.

Hey, listen, if we've learned anything, it's to believe. We can believe in the showgust Tea, come on.

We can believe in it.

But you know, this world is selfish, just well selfish.

I don't know if there's one thing listen, there's so much going on in the world, and I think you and I can agree.

The most important thing we need is showgust Tea. I mean, let's go in and pitch it. Fucking I mean like.

They will be like Brett, unless we have so many other things that you can do together, and you want to fucking do show Girls and we're like yes, yeah, motherfucker, that's it, or we will yes, it show goes too.

We're leaving town. Oh we fucking quit this business.

Yeah, we're with this business and we're gonna just sit smoking with by Leslie's pool, which is apparently such a good pool.

Let's just take it in to heaven. This is the this is the life.

It's a heat it it's a heated salt pool.

Fuck yeah, okay, one hundred and two. Listen.

I'm quite happy to take this gamble because if they say this is when when either we're making sure it goes too or we're living by that book.

What is the.

Film that you used to love but you've watched it recently and you've got oh no, I don't like this anymore.

Perhaps you've changed. Might not be the films fat Oh.

Fuck damn, I forgot what it was that I just recently watched, And I was just like oh damn, that movie is not as good as I thought it was. Oh fucking I bought it and everything, and I was just like, damn it. Shit been quick and it wasn't as good as I thought. No, heavy Metal was it will always be good. Heavy Metal was still good. I can't remember what it was, but I remember it just happened to damn it. I wish I can remember what it was, because I was just like, damn that shit.

I showed it.

I showed it to someone, Yo, this movie, and then we was watching it and I was It's like, yeah, this might not have been as good as I thought.

That's horrible. I can't remember what it is. It's gonna come to me because I bought it and everything. We can go back to.

It'll come to it. What is the film that means the most to you? Not necessarily the film itself is good, but the experience you had seeing the film will always make it special to you.

Ooh, there's a couple of movies just like that, Happy Gilmore.

Happy gil Moore used to be my life like because I thought he was so funny. Everything he did in that movie was hilarious. So we would watch it every Friday night. I worked at Roscos Chicken and Wild Folks. We would finish at twelve and we would come to the house Munkel Joint and watch Happy Gilmore. We knew like Happy Gilmore was just like a happy That's where my happy place was.

Happy Gilmore.

Yeah, Watermelon Man, and I actually rewrote Watermelon Man. Watermelon Man was about a white man that turned black and it's just one of the great greatest And I rewrote that movie.

So yeah that what do you mean you rewrite it like you've got a remake of it.

I wrote it to where a white woman turns into me.

I actually want the lady who plays the lead and ted Lassa I can.

Never remember, brilliant.

Yes, I want her to play the white woman and she turns into me.

That would be great.

Yeah, but you know, the industry scared to do a movie like that, which we need a movie like that right now, you know what I'm saying. So but yeah, yeah, I love that. I love that movie because it's really a lesson of walking in someone else's shoes.

And I really.

Think that white people need to walk on black people's shoes. Black people need to walk up white people's shoes. That makes any sense. It's just like we need to experience each other. All race just need to experience each other's ship. So then we could stop fucking gaslighting each other because that's what we're doing.

We just gaslight each other. At this point. No one's solving shit. We just gaslight in each other.

I think this is the film to save humanity, and I think, what do I need to do?

Tell Hannah Leslie, guy's a movie called Watermelon Man. Let's fucking make it. Okay, let's do it. Okay, we're doing that.

But we're in the meeting and they're going, hang on, we love this, and we go, yeah, yeah, I know you love it, but we're doing showgus too first, or we walked.

Oh what ship? Why you ain't said at the beginning of the meeting.

You're coming here with Hannah Wonning him and Leslie Jones. You did this whole thing really interesting pitch, and then you tell me this was all the rus to get shows too. Yeah, okayry.

Fuck it, because I know show girls.

What is the film that you most relate to? What's the film he saw? You're like, that's me, that is could be the character could be the vibe any anything.

Will we go word anything will be God word color, purple color, purple jumping Jack Flash. I was like, if that's not fucking me, I don't know who the fuck it is. I mean we talked, me and Whoopy talking about that ship all the time, and I was like, dude, every time you did a movie, I was like, that's me.

That's me. You know what's the with the nun distract distract sisterct me anything Whoopy did? I was like, that's me, that's me.

Okay, perfect answer, Lensey Jones. I'm teeing this up because you you haven't seen the homeworks. I just know that this comes. You know, this is where everyone gets asked this, what's what's the sexiest film you've ever seen?

Oh? Damn? I know, you know I thought of something. I thought of something that I was like, last they do that?

Well, let me say this so you know what comes next after you answer your sexiest There is a subcategory which is traveling bonus worrying. Why don's a film you found arousing you weren't sure you should?

Maybe what is your next? But then I'm gonna go ahead and say human Noise from the deep?

What the what the fuck is humanoids from the deep?

You've never seen human oise from the deep.

That ship was a horror fucking porn. It was a horror porn. It was monsters that came out of the water and just started fucking women and apparently only grabbed the white women, so it was it was only white women.

They were racist too, And I just.

Remember thinking, oh, my god, is that what sex looks like? Whoa, whoa, because they was just raw dogging them on the beach.

Just wow.

And then at the end of the movie, the fucking humanoid monster would pop out of their stomach.

It was fucking scary.

So that's your troubling why I know? So I did immediately onto my list of things I desperately need to say.

But what's your what's your sexist? You have no? Oh ship? Oh?

Patrick Swayzey fucking Roadhouse m m m true.

He was so goddamn fine in that movie, Oh my god. And Roadhouse. Yes, him and Sam Elliott child Oh Sam Elliott, sam Elliott classy choice. He had that long hair and that bad knee. I was like, that's the man for me, right there. How's how's it?

I love you on the first day. How's your knee? It's pretty good. This isn't gonna work for me.

Do you have all your miniscus? How's your right? Yes? Yeah? What shit? What is oo? God?

That is some funny shit. I think I'm laughing. You got me laughing, like motherfucker. This is so fun I mean, we're racing for it.

What is the what is objectively the greatest film of all time? It might not be your favorite film, but it's the greatest. It's the pinnacle of movies. Aliens come, they go, what cinema?

You guys? This?

Oh see, there's so many that's like that. Oh man, I mean Citizen K. I know people think it's a long, boring movie, but that shit.

Was a masterpiece. Good That shit was a fucking masterpiece.

And then for it all to end, for him to be fucking crying about a fucking sleigh. It's just the epitome of just you can't you could be too fucking rich, you could be too fucking rich sometimes Godfather except for Godfather three. I know everybody like I did not like Godfather three. I'm sorry. I love you, Andy Garcia, but

I mean ship like that.

It's just that just has that element of biting, fucking dialogue.

It's just like they don't write it like that no more, you know what I'm saying.

Yeah, all right, I'm gonna give you what was your first one, your first toys before k first Citizen? Because you're right, Sitsan Kane is not boring. It looks like it will be, but it's not.

It's very good. It's very good. Yeah.

What is the film that you could or have watched the most over and over again?

Is it Grace?

They probably have to be Blues Brother or Grease okay yeah, or Happy Gilmore.

One of those three are like and that's pretty sad. You must have worked with Adam Sunday right.

Like every time we got to work together, our schedules was kind of fucked up.

So but we've met. We definitely met. Have you told him?

I've definitely looked. Oh yeah, he because I know. I lost my fucking mind when I met him. I literally just started quoting the lines from the movie and he just looked at me and he was like, how.

Many times have you watched that movie? Like fifty? Sometimes? Fuck? I know.

And I met Shooter in an audition and he was hilarious because I didn't even get to go into the audition because I was out there.

Going shoot out shoot, I was doing all his lines. He was dying. He was like, you know, you got to go in down the edition. I was like, fuck that audition. He's great, He's very great. He's fucking he's a great actor. Everything he always plays just really funny, really really hilarious.

Man, or unlesslie, the question coming up is a negative. To be negative too long, So let's just deal with it. What's the worst film you've ever seen?

You know, I don't know if I call the worst films because I do analyze the fuck out of a film when I finished watching it, but I analyze it the next day. It's hard for me to call the film worse. I just go, how could that film have been better?

Yeah?

You know what I'm saying, because you know, people go on set and they work, and you know, they really hope that it comes out good, but you know, sometimes it don't.

I'm trying to think of a movie that I really did not like. Hmm.

That's hard to say because it's it's like I said, I don't really call any movie a bad movie. I just say I might have been directed bad. I didn't't cast that right, I didn't like to make up on that. I can't think of anyone right off the top of my head.

Then I love and respect you for it.

I think I feel the same way about as in I think nine films are made with love, as in it made with hope at least at least like everyone with hope.

See it, especially if you know the process of trying to get a movie on that. I just like, you just know that they work their ass off and then something happening in the fucking editing room that the shit didn't go right or whatever.

You know.

The only films that I sort of object to, I think, if I had to ask this question, I'm not going to name them, but if this helps is when I've seen films where I like, I don't like the I guess message of this film, Like I'm like, why did you want to make this?

Like this is a horrible thing? Powder? Okay, I just said that Powder. I didn't.

I understood what he was trying to do because it was some on some Edward scissor hand shit.

But it was weird. It was weird, and you can't get the message with that weird shit. Like it was too weird. It was I understood what he was doing, but I was like, feels weird? Fair enough. I think that's the one that just came off the top of my head. I take it. What about now?

In comedy, you're very funny, But what is the film that made you laugh the most?

And is it? Have we done it that laugh the most? God?

You know, anything Mail Brooks, Mail Brooks, anything like that, you know, the little rascals, I mean, little shit like that.

I laugh at I laugh at movement.

I love action shit, you know, I love people falling over shit and you know, slipping on bananas and shit like that. Like that shit makes me laugh, like I don't. I saw Holiday Switch last night. Holiday Switch is a new movie that's out with Jennifer Gardner and can't think and Helm's and he did this thing where because they all switched and the little boys in his body and he couldn't run. I was crying laughing because he was like my niece, my niega. Shit like that just makes

So it's so many. I mean, it's so many movies that are like that.

Anything with Jerry Lewis, Yeah, Jerry Lewis, he has never come up on this on this show.

What Jerry Lewis is like fucking man. Him and Dean David was just so fucking funny to me. Jerry Lewis was just very funny. Cara Burnett, Lucy Allball, anything, Lucid Ball, whenever she would do a movie with her husband. Oh my god, the movie with the trailer, Oh my god, just like anything like that.

I just love Goofy shit. I love Goofy Shit, love it.

Oh Porky's, so I would say, Porky's, Porky's.

The Porky series.

Has literally made me throw up laughing sometimes, especially like the sex scenes and the scenes with Missus Butter Butter Rooth.

The butterfucker somewhere. Her name was miss Bruce Faker or something. I don't know what it was, but it was that that movie.

I would have to say, probably when I was young, I laughed a lot because it was just immature.

It was just immature.

All right, this is gonna look weird to you because you don't know the show.

But just be with me. Okay, do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do little little do do do do Do Do do do dooo do do do do do do do do do Welcome to the Patreon section. Why did you just have a stroke? Right? Have a stroke on a goddamn pocket?

What do Welcome to the Exclusive members only section vipas you know, okay, welcome.

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What is the film that changed your perspective on something? You felt a certain way about something and then you saw this film and you felt differently?

Oh fuck yeah, oh wow.

If I don't think it necessarily was a film as much as it was a documentary about the royal family. Like I didn't like the guy what's the guy the son they had that that was with Princess Diana.

Prince Charles King. I didn't really like him.

Yeah, I didn't like him, but uh, the Crown made me have some sympathy for him.

That's interesting.

I mean that there was an episode of the Crown that made me go, oh, okay, if this is accurate, then okay that that dude, it's not as bad as I thought.

You wait a minute, let me better, let me think, let me I know, I got to think.

About film that changed my perspective, and I know I know the answer.

Damn. I wish I had knew, because I would have did the homework. Because a film that.

Gave me perspective on something that made me change my mind. Right, I'm probably anything with Whoopi gold World, Probably any anything with Demzel perspective, Damn, that is good.

I don't have one that's coming to mind. That's okay, give me an example. Maybe, Well it's how people interpret it. You know.

There's like some people see I didn't know, like a big historical drama, and they go, oh my god, I had never thought about that issue or that thing. But someone once answered on this, like the first time they saw a bad film, they were like, oh, I guess it made them realize that things are made, and it may change the perspective on how a film is made because they realize, oh, it doesn't know what just happen.

You have to you know it can be interpret Yeah.

Yeah, I would think probably all of the Ghostbuster movie because being part of the Ghostbusters series, seeing how shit was made, it did change my perspective on like how they choose movies or how they choose what gets to go into a movie.

Oh can you say more? What do you mean? Like, well as in what you shot? But what was Yeah? Tell me?

Yeah, I say it all the time. And I even put this in my book. If we would have put out the movie that we actually shot instead of the movie that they edited, we would got a lot better response to that movie. There was a lot of action taken out of it. There was a lot of scenes

And there was a scene.

I put it like this, there's a scene that's not in that movie that if it was in that movie, that shit would have got some love. There's a scene where Chris Ham's work is standing on top of the movie theater and he's possessed by this evil ghost. And I don't know if you remember Michael Williams. He passed away, but he was in that movie. So the whole scene was that he possessed all of the FBI agents and all the police people and made them start dancing. Now,

And it didn't get into the movie.

And Chris hems Hymnsworth it's on the top of the roof and he's doing his hands and he's making them dance and they are just like it's just so good.

It's so good and then they all freeze.

It's so fucking good and it wasn't in the movie, and it's like, I think that was the biggest question I asked them, was like, how much y'all cut that scene out? That is one of the best That scene They couldn't afford the special effects, which didn't make no

And it to me, like, right now, if this. If that movie was.

Made, it would be such a fucking triumph. People will be like, oh, weren't Ghostbusters. But when we made it, nobody was feeling like that.

It just it just.

Made me really just sad about our whole society. It made me go, God, damn, So massages, misogyny really does live.

That's fucking stupid.

Like, I mean, these I'm talking about It was coming from men who have daughters.

So you're like, so, are you telling your daughter that she can't be? Shit? Like, are you telling her she can't be? Like?

What if your daughter came up to you and said, I want to be a ghostbuster? You telling me that you're gonna tell your daughter, no, girls can't be ghostbusters?

What the fuck is wrong with you? Like if you're talking about frustration to the next level, that right, there was frustration.

Yeah, man, I'm really sorry to hit that. I'm interesting. It's interesting you say it because I liked that film. But I watched that film and it felt like watching it, I was like, there are things in it where it feels disconnected. It feels like a film that has been edited to fuck and that stuff has been taken out of it, and there's like lots of nice stuff and everyone's doing great things in it, but it's like, it looks like a film that has.

Been that they just put a bunch of scenes together.

Yeah, and if they had ten more minutes of explain, Like there was a scene that showed you why the characters Melissa and Christian were friends. There was a scene that showed that. There was a scene that showed you know, the connection of it. There were so many scenes that was cut out that we were like, yeah, they're trying to figure out how to fuck these four girls he became friends and how to fuck this TUF Yeah, because.

I didn't put it in there.

So yeah, that was a movie right there that changed my perspective on on how they make films out here.

Yeah.

Ah, well that is a very sad and interesting story. I'm sorry for that, Leslie.

I'm sorry. No, I'm disappointing for you. I'm really angry. Yeah.

You know what I wish, I wish they were just and they can do it. They could just release a director's cut. That's all it. They got the ship. The only thing they gotta do is just they have it. We shot it. Only thing they have to do is just be brave enough to release it.

Yeah, well, listen, we're adding that to the list. When we go into that meeting, and when they say, okay, guys, listen, we will we will release guys person. We go on the condition do we make show Gus too first? And they go, Jesus Christ, you tricked us again, says they're.

Gonna be like, do not take a meeting with Bretta Les fucking worse?

That are fucking worse they did. This is such a passionate play for releasing. We said yes and then they said no.

As how the fun did we go from Ghostbuster to show Girls?

This is just not natural? What is the best opening to a film? Best opening?

God?

This is such great question, Oh my god.

And I just don't have the answers for him because it's just like my brain ain't working fast enough.

Damn.

The greatest opening to a movie ship everything, let me see everything? Oh happy to give Moore has a great opening. Jumping Jack Flash. Jumping Jack Flash is a great opening because she she gets up and she turns on that music and it's fucking great. It's not coming to me, but I bet you I'm have all the answers for you tonight.

That'd be great. That's perfect. That's when we need them. What is the best what is the best ending? To You should just text me late and I'll be like, good.

Oh shit, the best ending? Fuck that for real? I know I got an answer to that, because there's there's been some some Indians the movies that I be like, oh that shit ended great, uh fuck, and it's just not coming to me. It's not coming to me. There's so many great indings. But I hate when the movie ends with a question. I don't like when movies end where you're like, did the motherfucker lived?

What? I hate them.

I hate them type of movies, and I want those directors to be beaten with a bag of director books because fuck that. Don't do that to the people unless you're gonna have another part too or something. I hate movies that end where I gotta guess what happened?

Yeah, so, what's so? What's your unsaid?

Any movie where Godzilla has to destroy the city?

Love it? Love that. I love when Gozilla lives at the end, and love that. I love when King Kong lives at that.

I love all of those type of movies where they just beat the shit out of humans. And then they just go away. My favorite shit, my favorite shit. I like the movies where the humans get killed. I know that's fucked up, but.

I know listen, you you like humans just getting killed and fucked by aliens of.

Humanoids. That adeep has a great ended. It's not happy at all.

Wow, it's it's some bullshit.

It's some real bullshit, you know. What's so funny? And we were talking about Exorses.

There's a movie called Abby that was done before the Exorses, and to this day, I swear I know that the people from Exorus.

Stole that fucking idea from Abby.

Abby was about a black woman who gets possessed, right, but you have to go see this movie.

Okay, so the.

Guy who plays Blackla is the preacher in this movie. Right, So this woman gets possessed and she just fucks every dude to death, like she fucks them to.

Death, like they I want to see this yet.

So I know this because the ship was the same way she was possessed. He had to come in there doing Exorcist all. The ship was scary, but it's scary as fuck, though, dude, it's scary as her.

Ship out of all of it. She just like she demon fucked them like, I mean, the exercis sounds like I've been with it.

With the fun bits taken out, I'm like, they're ruined a That's what the tag line should have been, they ruined heavy day.

You know what's so funny? I just realized that I have so many films in my head. It's hard to go through the library.

Of them all.

You know what I'm saying, because like I'm gonna be thinking about these questions you asked me.

I like, fuck, why you ain't say that?

Fuck?

You knew that.

Listen, well, there's a secret. One day we'll do a secret. We'll do a resurrection and you can you can have a bit of preparation for that. But tell me this, what's your favorite film?

Damn? I knew you was gonna ask me that.

It's it's hard to call a favorite film because I love them all.

I love them all. Shit. I would probably have to.

Say anything with Will We Go WRO, but I have to Lady Sings the Blues is one of my favorites. Mahogany. I mean, I like old movies. You know, Let's do it again? You know, anything with Richard Pryor Which way is up. Which way is up? Was the movie that I think I showed somebody and I was like, that.

As good as I thought it was gonna be, it's a little disconjunction, like it was.

It was funny, but it was like, oh, why did you do that cut there?

Oh that's a terrible The Wiz too.

If you rewatch the Wiz, you go, what the fuck was up with the camera angles?

Get a close up? What the fuck? Get a close up? Like?

You know, But my favorite film, it would have to be one of the old ones, you know, just you know, I think all the way back to Buster Keaton. Buster Keaton used to do a lot of movies that was just fucking insanely awesome. It's hard to call a favorite film because I love movies too much, because they're all my favorite.

I have to because is there somebody gonna kill me? The man on the toilet with directionit he I'm paying him, he better not fucking raise no hand to me.

Oh oh no, he's killing me lovingly with his penis.

That's the way I want to die. That's the way I want to die. For sure.

Ship with your prior I would probably have you know, it's not a movie it's a concert with your prior's concert like.

That was a movie directly that wasn't released in cinemas.

He has a red shirt. He has a red shirt and black pants on. It's the thing that changed my life. It changed my life. It changed everything in my life. I really just I had an era of comedy when I saw that. The first time I saw that, I was like, first of all, this man knows everything about my life and he's making it funny.

Like how does this guy know me? That's what I felt like.

I was like, why why am I laughing on the inside of my stomach? Like I was laughing from a different place, And I was like, how is he doing that? How is he doing that with his words like that shit is fucking me up? Like and I from that day on, I was like, I want to do that.

I want to do that.

I want to be funny like that, like I want people to laugh from the bottom of their stomach, And that's where he had me laughing from.

So did you ever meet him? Did you ever get to meet him?

I got to meet him right maybe six or seven months before after he got diagnosed with I think I think he had Parkinson's or yeah. So he came to He came to the comedy store and everybody was like, yo, did you know Richard Pryor's in an audience? And nobody was saying shit. Everybody was just going up performing and

And everybody's like what, everybody's going crazy?

And I did what I did was I reperformed my favorite joke by him, which is about a switch tree, about how he would see a switch tree and he would jump out the car and be like, you're not gonna look on nobody else's And I did that joke and he he you could see him laughing from the table. And down did my set, and then the guy comes to the back. He was like, Richie wants to meet you. And I was just like like, holy shit. So I

Fell out laughing. I was like, holy shits, like, yeah, yeah, that was me meeting Richard Bryan. That's great.

Yeah, Leslie, Leslie, you've been wonderful.

You've been really wonderful.

However, when you were one hundred years old, the day of your one hundredth birthday and you walk into the bathroom and there's your young man and he's got a cake with a one hundred candles and an erection, and he says, baby, it's time, and you go happy birthday, and you climb on his penis and you blow out the candles, and as.

You do, the exertion gives you a.

Heart attack, and this poor poor young man, who is very prepared for this, holds you as you die in his arms and you fall into a cake in a slapstick style that you would enjoy. And then I'm walking past the room with a coffin, you know, I'm like.

What the fuck are you there for? Why are you there? I'm just wondering the streets, and why are you wandering around? Where's security?

Well, that's the thing. I was also included in on this. The young man tipped me off. He said, listen, I'm not gonna know what's do the body. I said, listen, I got you covered, so I'm not going to do it. And I go, is it done? Yeah, she's dead. I come in the buck and I'm like, oh shit, there's so much cake. And it was a big cake and he said, yeah, I'm fucking she's a hundred. We had to fit the candles everywhere. That's cake everywhere. I'm like, ah, will you help.

It with the body? Penis away. No, he's still got an erection. It's mad.

He's just not there with directions. I going, man, this is uncomfortable with me. Would you put some pants on or something? He goes, nah, this is what she wondered. It was in the pre wheel and I'm like, she did a pre wheel. Okay, so we get you in the coffin. But there's cake. Ever, there's so much cake that it makes everything bigger than it should be. There's no room in this coffin. It's absolutely jammed in there.

Oh dam, how mentioned Porter guys Porters was very important? You did know?

There's only one scene. There's one scene in there where she screams about her baby's dead. I cry every time ship That is fucking torture the same movie because I don't like to rewatch movies.

Everyone else is showing a different film every night. This is just when it's your.

Okay, you're gonna laugh.

It's between two Reese Witherspoon movies, Freeway or The Freeway or the other one where she was, the where she was l the college one she.

Was the.

It doesn't matter if where I'm at. If that's on TV, I watch it. I don't care how many times I've seen it. I watched that movie.

Listen.

Freeway is great and a niche choice, but I guess if you're up there making friends, you're going to take legally blind.

Yes, legally all three of them though, right, Yeah, of course you're taking the energy disk set.

Yes, Damn, I can't believe I picked legally blind. I'm gonna be mad about that choice.

Later.

I'm gonna be mad. I'm gonna be like, what the fuck? Why would you die? I'm gonna be like and tell him no, it's.

This foodie to wake up legally blonde. Leslie, you've been brilliant. Is there anything you would like to plug to tell people to look out for to watch or listen to it? I suggest they come find you doing stand up for starters? Anything else?

Yes, come look at look for me for stand up.

I have a book out called Leslie Fucking Jones, the book and the audio.

The audio is.

Definitely different from the book because I wasn't going to read my own book.

What the fuck I know the story?

So uh, the audio is completely different than the written book.

So what are you doing? What story? Are you just telling different stories on the audio?

I just picked up the book. They said, okay, you got to read the book. So I started reading the book and I was like, you guys, this is not going to work. Like every time I get to a sentence. I go, no, that's not what happened. This is what happened.

Whoo. You know.

So I just put the book down and said, hey, just keep up with me on where I am in the book.

But I'm just going to tell the stories. So that's great. It's it's a really good audiobook. People love it. People are inspired by it, which is rather strange.

But okay, okay, I'm gonna have to do all right, Leslie, what's an absolute say?

How do your book first though? How do your book first though? And then read the tree story and then read then read the story. Then you're gonna be like, yeah, this book is similar.

But she really exaggerated on that audio. All right, well done, thank you for your time. You've been wonderful. I've loved it. I have a wonderful death. Oh my god, and I hope I see you saying I had so much fun.

You're absolutely incredible. Thought you was going to be an incredible person. You end up being an incredible person. Thank you so much. Lesslie, I said, thank you so much, so much. But you have a bright future. You need to get you some shades, baby, you got a bright future.

You got God, God blessed let's all right, I'll see you for this two pitchs. Thank you for your time. Yes, that was episode two hundred seventy nine. Head over to the Patreon section at patreon dot com. Forward slash Break Golstein for all the extra stuff you get with all the episodes. Go to Out for Podcasts, give us a five star rating.

And blah blah blah.

You know all that stuff, Ondie to keep saying it do. I thank you so much to Leslie for being so brilliant. Get her book, Leslie fucking Jones. Thank you to Scrubious Pip and the Distraction Pieces Network. Thanks to Buddy Peace for producing it. Thanks to iHeartMedia and Will Ferrell's Big Money Players Network for hosting it. Thanks Adam Richardson for the graphics and leads Light Them for the photography. Massive shout out to Buddy Peace who puts all this together.

So that is it for now.

In the meantime, have a merry Christmas, and please now more than ever, be excellent to each other.

Mary Christmas, Very Christmas.

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