Joe Wilkinson • Films To Be Buried With with Brett Goldstein #152

a special guest over. I tell them they've died, then I get them to discuss their life through the films that meant the most of them. Previous guests include Sharon Stone, Kevin Smith, James A. Custer, and even Bed Crampbell's. But this week it's the magnificent mister Joe Wilkinson. Head over to the Patreon at patreon dot com forward slash Brett Goldstein, where you get an extra twenty minutes of chat with Joe. We talk in depth about beginnings and endings. You get

a really disgusting secret from him. There's no video this week, I'm afraid, but you can get the whole episode uncutt and ad free and videos for most of the other episodes. Check it out over at patreon dot com forwards Live breat Goldstein, there's a live show. Come in. There's only a few tickets left. Live show July third at the Underbelly Festival Saturday in a Spiegel tent. It'll be very exciting. Me and Sarah Kendall. Oh, we'll have a right old laugh.

Come along and enjoy your lives. Your two TV missions as always to watch season one of ted Lasso just before season two comes out in July twenty third on the Apple TV Plus app and season one of Soulmates on Amazon Prime. One will make you very happy, the other will make you question your relationships. So. Joe Wilkinson Joe Wilkinson is a comedian, writer, actor, podcaster. He's currently smashing it with his own podcast with Brian Gittins called

chatter Bicks. It's a daily podcast, very very funny. I highly recommend it. You should check it out. We recorded this last year deep into I think it was the first proper lockdown. When we recorded is when most of us were at peak madness. Had to drag Joe, kicking and screaming onto the podcast I'm very grateful he finally agreed to do it. There's some stuff we talk about that's probably out of date now, such as being in lockdown and not being allowed to see anyone that sort

of thing, but you get the gist. We well went through it, and I think it should all still make sense. And that is it for now. I very much hope you enjoy episode one hundred and fifty two of Films to be Buried With. Hello, and welcome to Films to

be Buried With. It is and this is me, Bret Goadstein, and I'm interrupted by a comedian, a writer, a him and her actor, a sketch comedian, a character median, an eight out of ten countdown, a living legend, and a man with a beard that is one of the reasons I have grown a beard myself. Please, welcome to the show, mister Joe Walkers in. There's the zoning out mate. They're not interested. They've skipped to the next They've skipped back to listen to Kyrie again. I've forgotten to say podcaster.

Didn't I interested? But I'm not interested in being known as a podcaster. No or five out of the eight things you mentioned. We are the ones you actually care about. I liked writer, Yeah, Weightlifter and Vet. Congratulations on your Cockfield show that you wrote with Brows. Thank you. It's a very good show. And I believe there's gonna be more if this ever ends. Is that correct? And that's a secret, all right? But we are well so we

are writing more. So whether it'll ever get on Telly Is is another question, you know, because they might not want it and we can't go outside. Yeah, and some of it was set outs. That's what was lovely about it was outside. Yeah, lots of green. Oh why it's very green, an't it. Yeah, you'd have to get rid of it that I knew there was a florid Joe Wilkinson. Yeah, I've got to ask you. How are you with the lockdown? What lockdown? Yeah? I thought it might appeal to you. Yeah,

it's not a lot changed. What has changed? Que queuing for milk just that's the only difference. But quite seriously though, not a lot changed. But I sort of want to say I'm joking, but I'm not. Yeah, yeah right, yeah, yeah, no no part for um. I guess go a pub on a Friday, which which I sort of really miss. Actually, I just I don't. I thought I was sort of

someone that could just stay indoors. But I'm finely set for like maybe Sunday lunch and Friday evening when when I'd like to go out for an hour, But then they'll only give an hour and it will always be before eight. I'll go, I'll be home for eight because then you've got people going out, so I don't like to be around them, so I just leaves as they're coming in. So, yeah, my week's changed biking out. My week's changed by about three and a half hours, right,

so too bad. Yeah that's pretty good. Yeah about you? How are you going on? I do miss gigs? Miss you miss gigs? Yeah? I miss doing gigs. What do you miss about the Well, what I've realized this, that's also where i'd see people like your social life. Yeah, that's the depressing realization is that that was also my That is the fun bit, isn't it. Yeah, that's the bit I like it is hanging out in the back. Yeah. Yeah, I was never any good at that was I No, as as as evidenced in the first time, and I

really hated because I just don't join in. No, it just makes you mercurial and everyone's like, what is he where? Just wants to go on? Oh my god, yeah, somethings like I never did that. Yeah, I'm never really young about remember. I remember someone to say it is. But I was doing a gig at the comedy store, you know, that really bleak back room at the comedy stores of Corridor,

and I three or four people turned up. They've done their gig, and they turned up to hang about, you know, afterwards, and I could tell I wasn't getting old with them because I ken't going Why are you here? What are you doing? Why are you? Yeah? Why haven't you going home? Yes? Isn't even the gig? Yeah, if you're finished, why are you Okay? Oh? You want to do my twey spend

the money? And I think, well, my sort of understanding of you is that you like hate gigs, but then you miss them, and then you do them for a bit and then you love them, and then you got I've done too many on board again. I don't like it. Yeah, I think I think it is. I like getting stuff to work, That's what I like. But but as soon as I've got something to work, just I don't I miss that sort I've always listened to comedians sort of going what they enjoy about it, and I and I go, Okay,

that's what they enjoy. They enjoyed the sort of the performance element of it, you know, like making people laugh and all that. And I don't think I have that bit. I think I I can because they people sort of talk about like not being able to sleep after because I got this high. And I'm like, what you want

about what high? I fold like, honestly, you get no like you have a fucking smasher you come up stage like yeah, I think so, you know like sometimes like sometimes you go, oh, got away with that, you know that was lucky or whatever. But I'm not like pumped like like he's genuinely true. I'm like, Okay, some people get like a chemical rush that they obviously quite addicted to, where it's like I obviously don't I get that. I get fear beforehand, right, but I don't get that joy

release afterwards. I think, is it different in your head and heart when you're on stage and having a bad gig? Does it make any difference? Like are you going, oh God, I wish this was God? Do you not care? You're just going I care there is there is a slight difference. I'm sort of like, it's going well, arms are going oh right, yeah, yeah, okay, that should be all right now. And it was going badly, I'm like, oh fucking hell,

where's it going badly? You're doing a long running the show is anment for you once the show is up and running, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, definitely, I'm like, I just can't. I can't be asked. I think in a way i'd have to do something in it for me, but well, I quite do it doing with Diane because it was with someone else, and then if it also you kind of if it went badly and someone else to sort of god, that was that was bad when it and then with you could also things if things

were wrong, it was funny. It's sort of you look insane. Yeah, if you're someone it's really fun when it goes badly. But yeah, it's so bleak. Yeah, yeah, it's really bleak. And I think like, sometimes you know, something goes wrong and I'm doing it with Diane, you sort of find it funny. But if you still they're laughing at your own demise, on your own it's you know, it's clinical and oh Joe. Yeah, I forgot, I've forgotten to tell

you something cool said at the top. Actually, what's that? What? Nah? Mmmm? Fuck? I just I just say it. I'm feeling really like something awful that happened. I don't want to you've died. Yes, for a minute, it's gonna be sounding terrible. No, no, No, it's good. Weight off. How did he die? How did I choose? I? I would say, I'll bled out from from where a wound, shoulder wounds that I have no idea how it happened. I've come in and I'm bled

out in front of friends and family. So everyone's everyone's traumatized. So it's like a wedding or is that like that? Oh yeah, okay at a wedding. I bled out at a wedding. Yeah, there was three hundred people there and I could have been saved. But as we've worked out, no one's that bothered by me. Yeah, So so they just they all just tear around and watch the first dance. So you've wandered into the marquee, you've been outside. You

don't know what's happened. Now I knows it's happening. You come in, there's a little wound in your shoulder, yeah, and just bleeding quite heavily. Yeah. But I eventually bled out as the DJ's wrapping up first dance to New York Music. It started when I went for a piss between the starter and the main. Right, I came back started to bleed out. They had the main, they had the cutting of the cake. They've had first dance. One's

got a bit leathered. Has been a couple of a couple of little incidents that didn't escalate too much, you know, a couple of tears and what could have been a fight, and then everyone's clearing out. Taxes are coming and lose me at that point as everyone's queuing to get their coats, I've led out, which you know, it's pretty standard. Are you are you? Do you worry about death in what way? Like would worry about could I die? Do you think about death a little? I suppose, well, genuinely I needly

died yesterday. Are you serious? Yeah? Good? I expected turned Intah. I was I was having I was cooking some lunch, and I had you know, when you're cooking and you have something, you go, I'm going to certainly eat. Before I finished cooking, I had I had some pickled beeches, and a chunk got stuck in my throat and I couldn't breathe, and I out into the garden pointing at my throat. My bath went panicking. She's not very big and she's trying to him nick maneuver me. She wasn't

strong enough, so I ran. I couldn't read at all. I ran through the house into the road, yeah, to hopefully someone would be on the road. Obviously at this time there's not a lot of people about. But luckily a jogger ran past. He was a big guy, and I was like pointing up my throat, going like mad, and he was like, I don't have to do and he gave it hide and luckily a bit of beach shot out of my mouth onto the floor. Took an expected turn and then and then the runner just run around.

Cheers mate. Well, yeah, he turned up. He turned up to live four doors up on my road. And he came back then because my miss is called an ambulance and the ambulance we canceled it after it shot over. They turned up anyway, I think, just to make sure you're right, She's not the time to be to call an ambulance. But yeah, so until how long was that whole process from it being stuck to the guy getting

it out? What was that longer than that? So, yeah, I didn't have that much longer before I would have probably passed out. You literally weren't breathing for he No. Yeah, weird, huge panic. I remember thinking, oh God, I might die.

I could die. I could have never felt like that before. Weirdly, you got a bit, Jason Bourne, your brain works a lot faster because I spoke to my neighbor and its happened to her friend and she hammed to her in a pub and people trying to get it out, and she remembered someone telling her that someone they knew over the road was worked as a doctor. She was run out there. She climbed out the pub because went across the road knocked on the door, and that person saved them.

Your brain goes, Jason Bourne. Yeah, so I went. I knew immediately my other hole wasn't going to be able to do it. Wasn't strong enough as soon as you started doing it, so I pegged it. I just went, I bet someone be outside. Wow, w went my wife? I married badly? Yeah, that was that that Jason Bourne then't kicked in at that point that was standard. I was like, not not, you love, stay out of it. So I've probably got a bleak made to take the And when it came out, were you did you feel

like a rascid mab I'm going to live now? I panted for a bit and then I went, I saw that that mate, and he went after. I said, we bulls up the social distancing, and he was quite funny. He went let us off, and I'll said, darn cheers for that, and he was like, that's right. And my missus went and get off the pavement. I went back in and and then she went, I've been telling you to chew properly for fucking years. I went, oh, hell,

you know what. I also wondered genuinely, and I think this, and I know you're going to be all like whatever about it, but you are also on the telly quite a bit. And I wonder if that jog it must have been so surreal, if that jogger is like a fat suddenly, well I from countdown runs out of the road gates, because I would think that would slow down the response, right, because someone would get is it are you? Yeah?

It's not the time you did get a selfie. No. What was quite weird is someone I write a stupid joke about joggers on Twitter or something, and this girl got in contact and replied, joggers saved lives wink and really yeah, so somehow she knew, and I replied, what do you know? Got back to me, I'm quite weirdly's friends with James Gill on Twitter or what? You know? You're not friends? Are you follow? Yeah? Yeah? He followed it.

So I was like, who's this woman? And he was like, I went to school with her whatever, and she now I choked on beach. It's like, don't interesting. Do you think there's enough to left to after life? Um nah, I don't know. I don't think. I never I genuinely never thought about it. Um bad I brought it up. Be all right too? Oh on mine? Oh? Mind doing it again in a different frame. Yeah, what would you make for the next time? Something with a shorter life? Really? Yeah?

Like what's about seven years? Dog? Dog? Yeah? The dog? Yeah? But see some people with dogs and you go when we reinconnected, made it as yours. Yeah, I'd like an old I'd like to be an old person's dog. Because then because then your mate, it's aren't you ever? Really nice? You just do everything together. That's what i'd like. I'd like to come back as an old dog. Yeah. Yeah, basically I want to sit on a pub floor. Yeah.

Or because I've always thought, I mean, I'm going to be freaking brilliant when I'm old, because I'll just go to the bookmakers and the pub and then go home. About as I say, about seven, I watch Telly. It's gonna be amazing. But I realized I'd rather be an old person's dog. Yeah, it seites you. Yeah, I'll be a really good old person's dog. Just look up at the right time, you know what I mean? When when there's there, you could win together. Yeah. If if he fell,

i'd bark. Yeah. If you were taking, he'd called the neighbor. If he was choking, I'd bark. Yeah. Basically, whatever he did, I'll give him a little bark. Yeah. I can't do nothing else. No, I really want there to be an afterlife. Now, well, good, my friend, there is enough to lay. Oh nice. Yeah, there's a heaven and everything, and in it you can

role plays dogs wherever you want to do. Okay, I say whatever you want to do, but they are obsessed with films there, and the first thing they want to know is what is the first film you remember seeing? Joe Wilkinson, I know what The first film I actually saw was both we're talking in the cinema was Popeye

with Robin Williams, the Robert film, the film Robert Utman. Yes, yeah, but it was actually the second film I watched, because the first film I watched I remember more about, which was the fifteen minute film you get before a film. Do you remember they should do that? You're probably too young. You're twenty eight, twenty nine, yeah, baby, but you you are you old enough to remember when they'd play a film before a film. No, they wouldn't have. They did

that with Pixar Films. Yeah, that's probably where they probably got it from. From your childhood, from my childhood. But before the Robin Williams, so I didn't know it's Robin Williams at the time. Was sort of sort of cleven years later. But they had a fifteen twelve about twelve minute film about alligators before, and I preferred it just

a little documentary about alligators. Yeah, my dad took me and my brother because my mum had dad enough, I think or she might have been having a driving test. Actually think about it weirdly, and and I remember we'd never I never beat the cinema and I never really sort of went out with just my dad, you know what I mean. It's like I've been thinking, oh, this is quite mad. So, yeah, it was stuck in here that I don't remember anything about Papa. I've got them

word perfect about the film about alligators. Did you like the cinema? We like that? Yeah, this is good. Yeah, I felt like people were looking genuinely, I remember the feeling of people look thinking people must be looking at me, going wow, he's in. It was like such a I don't know how. I felt like other worldly, you know what I mean. It's like, you know, how's heven cinema? It's incredibly it's only four. Can I go while we

do it? Can I google what year it was, because then I know my age nineteen eighty came out in December nineteen eighty sort have been five. The Alligator film and yeah, well Papa, Papa I did. I don't. I haven't got any reference to that doesn't matter. Alligator film. No, So that's the first film I saw. I don't remember anything about Papa. I didn't know it was Robin Williams obviously. Yeah, but I remember the reason I remember now why I

didn't like it. It was because someone was playing the part now and it wasn't cartoon because I remember going into it thinking, oh, it's obviously going to be like the cartoon. It wasn't. It was this fucking prick. Yeah, weird feel and I remember shouting out, who's this fucking prick? That's why people might have been looking at you. I said, he's probably good at stand up, this guy, he's probably a very really good stand up, but I don't want

him to play Popeye. It should be a cartoon. Yeah. Yeah, so that was how do you say his name? Papaye papa? Yeah? Pop I can't say husband, okay, yeah, how do you say it husband as you say it? Yeah? Yeah he did. Yeah, what I say it is wrong? Apparently husband? I say husband, yeah, and I can't say papae as well. Yeah, Popeye, I'll say Popeye for you for the rest of it. But I started to make me think you're really obsessed with dogs? What it's the film that made you cry the most? O?

That's easy Farla. Do you know the film Farther No, I don't know if you're pronouncing it right. Yeah, and it spelt fast and furious. What's um? I really please yet that because I listened to your podcast and you always know it and it's about well, the Farlap was an Australian racehorse and it's a film about the racehorse that basically was this trainer basically bought it. Well, I think it's a trainer bought this free bit ridden horse which turned out to be the as good as Red

Ramoreer basically in one lots of races. And there's a scene at the end, can you spoil film that was going to watch? Yeah? Yeah, my record. And basically the relationship in the film is the stable boy and the horse, but he basically ends up training the horse and riding the horse and nay end up you know, like close relationship, obviously kind of close relationship. That's how distant I am

as a human. End up with a close relationship. Terrible worth explaining a love story, a close relationship becomes, they become a husband and pope and then the horse. Uh, because my dad loves horse racing basically as well. I watched it and at the end, basically when a horse is dying, if it lies down, it's you know, it's over,

game over for the horse reason. And the horse starts to lie down and the little the stable boys turn don't I'll kind of well en up there says don't, don't, don't, don't lie down, and he's trying to push the horse to stay up. And it's heartbreaking. When I say cry, I mean laugh my head off. No, I really kind do you Nay? You know I'm not into all this crying and talking about it now. I'm taking don't cry a lot, I think in the last yeah, like I don't cry, but I will up. And I stopped myself

crying more than since I've been in the fourtieres. I think. I think I see the fragility of things will now was before I didn't, but I cried then. I watched it with my dad and my brother and neither of them had any emotion on their face whatsoever. So I'm very much the open one in the in the family, the youngest. Yeah, yeah, okay, yeah, yeah, I'm the wet one basically. Yeah, but yeah, that's do over cry. You know,

you've probably stumped it never heard of it. Um, yeah, I think well, I think we got it out because my dad would say last horse racing, and I remember it was from Blockbusters, and I think they had to sort of dust off the coffee, so I don't think

it was lap. Yeah. This is the I should say this now, the reason we spoke before this about I feel quite intimidated by this because every You've had lots of really clever people on talking about films in a really intelligent way, and I feel like this is my first a little sort of stumble on the on an uneven payment towards the end of the first person to

stump me, you are so far the cleverest. Yeah, I've brought up the shittiest film that's made people cry, and I feel like I feel like I'm going to do a few times. What the film that scared you the most? And do you like it being scared? Now? I don't like being scared. I hate being scared. And my friend Anna knows this, and we used to have we should watch films together on Saturday night and another friend, Jeremy, came over and they know I don't like being scared.

I made me going to roller coaster once and that that fine because they were like, Oh, okay, you you weren't mucking around, you really do I'm being scared, Please don't go. And they said we're going to watch this film, and I was like, honestly because I know they really like but they like two things. A like horror films and what's the what's the old TV shirt show where I needed to do it? Oh? What's it called? It's going to annoy at me? Where the tales are the unexpected?

That were their two obsessions tell the suspected amazing. I became obsessed them. Absolutely nothing happens in the town of all the stories, and suddenly there's this massive reveal that hasn't been set up. It's incredible, incredible, There's there's no storytelling, it's it's just magnificent. So anyway, they were like, we're gonna watch this film. I said, it's not a horror because you know, I look sadday night. I really I don't like it. I don't know. No, No, they put

a hostile on. Have you seen Hostile? Yeah, it's the only horror film I've ever watched, and it's from what I've been told, it's one of the worst and I was so angry. There's a it goes like it's it's sort the first third is like a soft pawn. Yeah, it's really weird. It's like just young people sort of bouncing along the road with their bodies, you know, and

then to take them. Every body is moved in the in upwards rather than just down and and then but then it just like it had nowhere It cuts to the an achilles Heill being sliced open, and I was like, oh god, And for some reason I sort of bullied into watching the rest of it. And it's properly scared scarred me and I'm fucking pricks. It was really, I

don't know, I being scared. I don't know what. Like I was going to say, like say something like a good film that scared me, which didn't because I wanted to fit in. I was going to say, Jill, you know, Jill obviously PhD film. Yeah, but it didn't scare me. It was really good, Um, but I thought I was in it. And that Shye film Hostel to be Jesus is I don't know it don't like those films. Is it considered low brow? The torture pawn genre is that what it is? Yeah, is there what did you call it?

Horrible pawn? My god, I I watched the torture through take not putting out on my CV. That's you. That's going on your Wikipedia baby now three three quarters of one of them. Yeah, so that one. Don't watch that. What I also like is everyone a lot most people on your podcasts. So I don't really like slagging films. I'm not I'm I'm farm of it because I'm no, I'm not a problem. So Towns of the Unexpected. So nothing happens, and then suddenly like there's one quart of

things called royal jelly. Right, I'll give you a sort of word for word to you. I'll give you the kind of how that Yeah, well how I'll say that. I'll give you all the beats of the story. Young couple have got a baby in and they're sort of you know, it's domestic scene in the costage, and the baby's crying a bit, and he goes out to work,

comes back, baby still crying. He goes out again and comes back and and baby's still crying, and she's sort of God and I was going on here, and he goes kid and like about the fifth or sixth time, they'd say the same thing. Out of nowhere just sort of goes and you guys know what that was. And then he goes out, comes back and she goes. She goes, I don't know what why baby won't stop crying. And he says, he says, have you tried giving it some honey? And she's like what? And he turns around and he's

a bee. The baby's a beat or the man. The man's a bee. So she's been like, she's the baby's half bee. So that I had sex by a secret bee. Yeah, And then the music at the end plays and you go. And when I watched that, my friend Jeremy was sat next to me. Whenever I watched one of these, he'd sit next to me and he was obsessed with him. He'd go, it's half an hour episode. He go, we're twenty three minutes in and nothing has happened. He'd know the point where you'd get to instill in each of them.

We'd go, so he was seventeen minutes and still nothing has happened. There was another one where Joan Collins was a dinner party and she's horrible to everyone for twenty seven minutes she's just like, I don't like your plates. It's just really horriful. And she sort of stalled out into the garden. There's this piece of artwork with a hole in it, and for some reason she sticks her head in it and her head gets caught in it, and everyone's like, oh, and then they just I think

they should walk away from her. She's got read stuck in it, or they push you over or so. I can't remember, but it's unexpected thing, the unexpe the twist of the head is yeah, they acted, yeah, it's it is unexpected. But you could just like in a Cowboy film if someone just got three penises out, you go, that's weird. You know. It doesn't have doesn't mean it adding anything. It's good in the torture poem category. It's not as good as torture board. Is it the film

that you love Critically? It's not acclaimed, people don't really like it, but you don't care. You love it, right I. I I struggled with this one because you know, a little peep behind the curtain. You send these questions to us before, don't you? Is that a right to tell you?

I think I think they're onto it and this one's struggled because I was like, this one could actually make me go oh, you know, people go oh, gonna use them keep, you know, because you kind of I want to say, I want to sort of say something that is actually good, but I'm above it because I like stuff that's really good. And then I was like, so I was going to say something like, I don't know, um, what's the sort of mid range good film that you know people if you say you really like it, no

one goes, oh yeah that is brilliantly. No one goes, oh, you fucking idiot, So like Midnight Express something like that, right, Okay, that's really good. That was really good. Okay, mid range you're talking and hard too yeah okay, maybe a lot too bad. Then, so people don't stay you off, you know what I mean? They go oh okay, yeah yeah yeah yeah. But then I sort of went truthful and I actually like and I think it's brilliant, righted sort

of Solomon men in Black. I love me in that right, Okay, see, I don't know. See this is where I'm like, you can say anything to me. You can go, oh that's this that's the fourth word work film. That's the pedophile pornography, yeah, which which has just gotten a little darker than than I even thought with postil But I think it's I watched it the other day and I was like, it's a really good story. I'm like every and it's funny. And I was like, and I guess I was a

little bit biased because I listened. I listened to a lot of Ed Solomon on podcasts and stuff, right, and he's spoken about it quite a lot, and how much work went into it. And I feel like it's got those really good ideas in it and it's funny and probably not in tonight mill Will Smith he's really good in it. He is good. I never know who's all right to like, you know. I know you can say I know you can say Audrey hepburns. No one's going to go in prick if you say Audrey Hepburn. But

if you say Will Smith, I don't know. I can't. I can't imagine. You can talk about Will Smith dinner party, you know, but you can sort of go, oh, I love Augie Hepburn and people go go, yeah, I do. I can't think of any of her films, but I can think of all the films it's really good. Many back. I like them. I like them all. Yeah, I really like them. The very last bit of it, the little like of which one, one, two or three, actually all

of it, there's always a little Yeah, it's got hard. Yeah, the mad thing was I do think the first one is the best one. But I'm really big for like the Concourse fan and I had no idea. It's Jermaine Clement. Yeah, he is good like he you know, he was really cool to see him play against type like that. Fucking I was like, wow, shit, I've alway. It's been like I slept in a bed that he slept in the day after he slept in. It so good. So it's kind of written in the stars, isn't it. Yeah. I

stayed at David. I docked his house and he'd had Flight the Concord stay in the night before, and I played it cool and then I went into the bedroom and I was down. I was angry and kind of chuffed at the same time because it's one day away from meeting Flight the Concords in the next day. Yeah, I did. Yeah, I had a lovely little role about and that absolutely lovely. Yeah, So it's quite cool. What is the film that you used to love but you

don't love it anymore. I really struggled this because, like most of my favorite films are from the eighties, I really like comedy films, you know, like I know again, it's like they will still get passed over as great films. But I used to love when I was really little, smoking the bandit right, I just like I thought it was brilliant, and I watched it about five years ago and I didn't even understand the concept. Well well, yeah, exactly, like I don't know really, but they they've got to

get across this, right. This is what I think is there's a lorry that's got to get across the country really quick. And I think the what's his name, Bert Reynolds's got the same same birthdays. He's in a car to sort of distract the police because they're going too fast. I think, I think that's it, right, But they don't really set it up like it's just I think it was just when I was a kid, I thought, oh,

that's it's just ridiculous concept. But in in a kid, like when you're a kid, I mean, anything can happen in America because we hadn't been I mean, so, as far as I knew, they were still you know, like the World West, it had been parts of it and stuff, so you know, you were like, okay, so they have this thing where when Lauries want to go fast, someone drives a car next time, and I just totally buying.

But I didn't give a shit about it. And then you know, I watched it at thirty nine or something, I was like, fuck, is the concept to this film? The fuck? What the fuck? You base this whole thing on something that in no way could in no world

this could exist. Fucking Hell's going on? And then they don't really explain, Like they don't explain the first time he sort of distracts the police by going really fast, you're just meant to sort of, They don't say, Okay, I'm going to distract the police by driving down this one, and then you'll be able to go really fast, and surely there's one more than one Copper never County anyway, and then you just sort of you're just sort of watching him drive fast with that pretty one from Missus

Nutfire Sadly Field Shalie Fields. I should have known that you should put a horn every time I say something that makes me load brow. Sally Fields, she's probably done, she's been on, she's done off Broadway. All right, you could say Sally dinner party. I record people favorite actress, Sally Fields, Audrey Hepburn or Will Smith and actress at all. They're both thanked now, so you don't say actress. And

I'd say that a dinner party feels very underrated. Anyway, remains what is what is the film that means the most to you? Not necessarily the film itself is any good, but because the experience you had around seeing it, that will always make it special to you. Right this This one was a tricky one for me again because as I'm a fan of your podcast, and everyone has got this incredible story and it's usually how they met their wife. So the fuck sayn't I don't going anything like that?

And the one stuck in my mind. I was just going off. I was just fucking telling that. I M I used to live with two powers of mine who I grew up with and we used to live in Wandsworth together and my friend Simon and my friend Elise Else and Simon is called Simon Cockfield, who I nicked his surname for the sitcom and my friend Elsie. Anyway, it's Friday night and my uh, my friend Elsie had said John goes to cinema tonight, and I was kind of always I was a bit unreliable friend. You know,

were you in this story. I was in the twenties, but I'd like, I love Simon and Elize them, you know, two of my best friends and stuff. But I was probably a bit a crap friend or whatever forgetting stuff. Whatever. So anyway, we'd agreed to go to see Tema and I after work, I went to the pub with my friend and like it. So I think we were going to the cinema at eight o'clock. So I've been in the pub since about five, right, and I've got a phone call my enormous mobile, and she says, where are you.

I'm outside the cinema and it all comes flooding back to me and I went, oh shit, sorry, I'm on my way. And I was like, my friend was, I just don't got your pissed. I was like, honestly, I've let her down. Lights and this is all play tricks and all stuff. So I was like, I better go, and we got to cinema. I've got cinema and was just drunk basically, and we watched We went in to

watch fight Club. Now. I watched the first maybe twenty minutes of Fight Club and then I fell asleep and I snorled really down, and then I woke up and I woke up to the reveal yeah, in my god, And so there's never been a point for me to watch that film. And we left that cinema. She was so fucked off with me. She was like, I've never been so embarrassed. You snored, and you saw slept talk and you just stank a booze and it's really embarrassing.

So even when I even I went, I really left, and I really can't be asked to watch the film because I know the reveal. So I literally woke up with just enough in photo yeah to sort of go oh, And then I worked backwards and I've seen enough at the front yeah yeah, So I didn't need any of the fun in the middle. So I never watched it. So that's probably hasn't answer the question properly, but I think that makes it memorable. Yeah, but it's funny. And my friend Else is in she lives in America now,

and she was meant to be over last weekend. I mean to see her, but she can't. Her in a family chapter Washington, DC. So so that I think that's probably why it's frun to mind, because that's great, I'll take it. M what's the film we most relate to? Right rata TWI. Now I haven't gone answer to this. I was like, I literally done, I'm going to do this properly. You know, I'm related to anything about She'll get well and going what are you about? I was like,

I packed up, mate. I had this idea of like genuinely trying to convince you as the mouse in matter TWI, and then we'll give me a hand and what do you think? What kind of do I think relates to you? What? Yeah? Like what character? What film? Because I literally was like, and I'm want to do this for I'm gonna you know, I'm gonna know. And I appreciate that. And I was not very well. It was like I think I got annoyed at the question. That's not a dig at the show.

I was just annoyed. I was like, I have fucking none. Yeah. Yeah, it didn't stress me out, but I think I lost my temper. Yeah, but is everyone else answered it. Yeah, even everyone goes, oh, this one's really hard, and then they they answer it. So I did not answer it, all right, probably you know you know the Godfather, Yeah, there's an extra in that at the wedding. Yeah, who doesn't It doesn't ever leave the table he sat at. Yeah him, that's it. Yeah. Is he bleeding out at

the wedding? So he probably did extra? Yeah, or an extra in east Enders, just an extra who who's told to just nobody do it? Yeah, just go to the toilet, just talk, move your mouth and don't make any noise, because that's what I love. I'm fucking obsessed with extras. In all I watched these days, I did. Sometimes there's what's that brilliant one about the there's a it's a

Channel four thing about the Once Spires kind of the world. Anyway, there's a bit where they walk down this really long corridor, really wide, big corridor, and I was going through one am I watching the extra's phase and in this kind of three minute monolog unfortunately they'd use quite a distinctive extra and he walked past six times. Yeah, so I uh oh yeah. The other thing I was when I was in I was doing this thing and that in him and Her as a wedding. I sat at table.

I didn't really do much in the episodes, so I sat at this table and I was I was just sort of sitting there watching, you know, like kind of watching people that directed. But there's six other people on my table. They was really impressive. They set out their own little play on the table that they did silently like and they did it the same every time. It

was it was unbelievable. So I was like, but they hadn't included me, so sort of things were getting past across me without me kind of you know what I looked for. My my favorite thing to look out for a new see it is it's people in the background. Usually if it's like a restaurant scene or a bar scene, so there's a couple talking in the background, and what happens is you see what's happened through the day. Because at the beginning they've gone professional nod mouths and works.

But as the days goes on, they start to get to know each other and they'll actually try and have a conversation moving but what if you watch, you'll always see one extra go what because they are trying to genuinely understand what each is saying. So always be someone going what again. The other unrealistic thing about extras is obviously they're meant to be a crowd or people. There's when the planets. There's never a knows you prick, you know,

like I don't know about you. But you walk down the road and you see something, so m's going on? Even if it's like a slight noise, you look at it. Another bloody good stay. They're told not to look at the action, say, look at the fight going and over there. Yeah exactly. It's just it's so like a hand grenade goes off and they just kind of keep walking because they're told not to look at the action, whereas me, like someone drops five P and I stop and have

a good step feel. Yeah, exactly, that's what real life is it just nosing. One of my favorite bits in Super Bob is there's a bit where I take off, where I fly up there are two extras and one looks that way and they're right next to each as if as if I've exploded in I watched his arm and I watched his shoulder. Yeah, what is the here we go, Joelson, I'm really curious where you're going to go with this one. What's the sexiest film you've ever seen? Well?

I didn't, but I took this question now I wanted to. Basically, I just took it. Who have I fancied most in the film? Absolutely not the correct ways to say, because some people sort of said, like, oh, the whole film made me feel as well as I whatever, not than that. Who did I fancy most in a film ever? Was Helen Neren in The Long Good Friday? Really now that

is a dinner party? Yeah? Yeah, yeah, especially the real I told they asked me to audition for a thing that she was in the audition, But I was like, that would be real, haven't it? And I'll fancy you in the seventies? You in Sally Field does it go? Yeah? And Audrey Hepburn More am I heading off? M I? Yeah? She that that's a that's a brilliant film. On Good Friday should be one of the Marswers. That's a good No One can I really feeling? I don't think of that.

That is one of my favorite films. Let's just cut that in so much you just want to do on the records somewhere. Yeah, I do. So, It's like I always like I feel like other people in this sort of game. My favorite the film that I guess I love most his cloth something like that, and I feel like mine, like really naugh. I feel like one of your answers, one of the answers has to be a film that I haven't heard of for me to really respect. You don't know where the fair that far? That right?

Agree to the question what sciatically traveling bone is worrying? Why dones? What films you found? A rosing you weren't sure you should know? And I didn't have I didn't agree with this one. I was like, I don't like, you know, like you can say, like, what's it Jessica Rabbit and all that, and nah, no you didn't. Just like it looks a bit like a woman done if it's not so. I was like, no, fantantically round bit

around it. Nah? Really, Now I think I'm too clinical, Like that's a I'm thinking about the fifty two year old animator. Yeah, who's colored it? Yeah? Yeah, Blake, who's colored it in? Yeah? I'm not thinking about our cleavage. I'm just thinking about how long it we're taken in photoshop to do the bugger. So now I didn't really fight, like you know, I think someone said like a fox or something, and I was like, I haven't it. I don't. Sorry, So you've got zero all of the cast of all

shipped down. Oh yeah, that's weird in no particular order. Absolutely test drips off all of them. Yeah. Yeah, that is coming in what is objectively the greatest film of all time. This again you'd I was like, right, do we have to fucking every question? No? But this is where this is where it's tense for me, because everyone else said because I feel like all my like, I feel like I started lying to myself because I was probably I was like, I really just want to fall

in the middle. You don't mean now, I know, but I don't want to because I feel like like thickier or go off, you know what I mean? And I was like, I was like, oh you do. I just I was like, I'll just say god Father and you know, like and then no one cares, you know, be boring, But I just I just I literally want to say. One other person that people respect has said, do you

know what I mean? Like? Yeah, I was I was looking at you know, people are doing those five films where I was looking through and going, I write nose free or for other people, do you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah, sure, that were definitely those three or for other people there's like you, I was like, and I just I was like, that's exactly what I want to do with this question. I want to just go there's a pretty off kill to no one can say you're a Penis film saying it.

So I was going to say, yeah, but I think my favorite, my favorite two films I thought about, but lots of love, lots of films but I liked. I thought I was going to say Midnight Run because it was on the other night and I was like, that's a good film, and and Cloth by an Italian it's not. It's got no sound, and it's one long shot of a from above right and yeah, and it's it's called cloth because it's it's a shot from above and it's a close up of this woman's blouse, really close up.

It's called cloth. So that was too she she she was in there. It's a remake. I preferred the remake of Cloth. You will yeah, but I also wanted to put in like a thicky one which is stir Crazy. Nice. Yeah, I love Stir Crazy. I think that's a brilliant film. I think that what I got from Stir Crazy was like it was that fucking brilliant where it went. It's like a kind of you know, it's a essentially an escape film, you know, like wrongly convicted and they decided

to escape using a King Rodeo show. I was like, what the fuck is like, that's not your first idea, is it? Yeah, it's not your seven I shouldn't. I was good as getting your head stuck in a modern not but I was sort of yeah that that that film was just anything with Gene Walder and Richard Prior together. I even like silver Its silver Stream mystry Yeah, yeah, that was good. You know. So I don't know what god, you know, going back to your old question where it

didn't stand up as much. I didn't love seeing no Evil here, no Evil as much when when I watched it again, but Stair Crazy stood up, really stood up, and there's some Yeah, so I think that was my proper answer. Midnight Run was my middle ground cloth was my that's the one you went everyone to think it was? Yeah, yeah, but my real answer stair Crazy. Can I just take it with you your time, because we've got there's a few to go. But guys, key goes fine, it's fine.

What is the film you could or have? What's the maze that we get? This is the easiest one to answer for me, which is Porridge to move the movie. Yeah, I'm almost word perfect with it. Really. Yeah, it's my happy place. That's nice. Yeah, it's um. I've heard a review of it, like, oh now, I saw a review on like I looked at an old what do you call it? Who was the bloke who's filmed eighty two

or whatever? You remember that, Barry Norman? Yeah, and I think he said like it wasn't great or whatever, and I was confuming. I think the reason I love it was because for me, I loved Oorriginal favorite sitcom, and then I just got to watch a longer one. Is it like a longer episode? Is it like? What makes it a film? What makes it special? Did they go on a day in the prisoners well that it's an

escape again? Is it? Yeah? But they they basically one of the one of the inmates, is trying to escape, to go anyway, and he they organize a celebrity football match and during the celebrity football match they escape. They take Ronnie Barker and Richard Becasel's character with him because they get caught up in it. And then this is the brilliant bit, they have to break back into prison because they haven't got really long left on their time. So it's just a great film and I just I

think I love it because I love the characters. You get to see him again basically, and I didn't. There's a there's a follow on sit Pom called Going Straight Yeah, which isn't anywhere near as good as Porridge, but I watch it because there's just more of the characters again. And it's not great, but you just spend more time with them. I think that's why I love it, because you get more more time. It's not me with Bad Santa too. It's really not a good film, but I

love the characters. Yeah. Yeah, it's just if you get it right and you love those characters and you just want to because absolute dogs it. I was happy to sit with him right now. But I think Poison Movie is really good and it's really funny, and I think like Dick Clement and he and a friend name funny, Like you read the script it's just like, oh god, the lines just keep god out. The take so many good lines in and they're not you know, and paper jokes.

There's a serious answer. Sorry, but it's for me. It's not cloth. Two, it's nowhere near, but it's good cloth on the rum. Two. What is what is the film that's the worst film you've ever seen? Again, I'm happy to say this other people obviously sort of diplomatic, but did you ever see Coffee and cigarette? No, it's called coffee and cigarettes. Yeah, and you know what, You're fucking

absolutely right, only film I've ever walked out in the cinema. Yeah, and I think I was the only person into I was thinking with someone else, but I think I said you should be ashamed yourself to no one. But that was for me to make myself laugh. And it was so bad, it was so um which called it up his own ass. Yeah, it's just different. Was it just different? Famous people drinking coffee and smoking in cafes or stuff? And yeah, there was nothing. I was so angry. Yeah,

So that easily the worst film. That and The Godfather. Godfather's a bad film, isn't it? Where it's so boring, so boring, boring the wedding. It doesn't even move for the entire when he steals the show, he steals the show from me. He's the one that sticks in your mind. Yeah, what is you in comedy? What's the film made laugh at mat spies like us? Is it? Yeah? Just at the time, I think Chevy Chase was just a brilliant

funny man. Apparently is an ass off good things about him, which is a show, but he was Na, that's just I think it's a fish. I literally listened to podcast this morning and they said, who was it? I was talking. It was listening to Conan O'Brien with someone, Yeah, and they were talking about him hosting essenl or something, and it came badly and everyone in the comedy world being over the moon or something, and I was like, Okay,

that's pretty official. Love it funny, Like it's like people think it's quite backstabbid, but I think it's quite supportive, like you know, if your friend, if your friend, you know, if your friends in something you don't want them to like crush and burn. But yeah, and if I watched it quite a few times and there's just some fucking funny, funny lines and funny bits in it, and it's just a stupid film and it makes me feel that. And

Cloth three, which took I didn't know they made a trilogy. Yeah, I went down here, but it was they tried it was it was the studio. Shi comed it basically right. They put two shots for the Yeah, they filmed in front of a live audience, which is never going to work. Have you seen spies? Have you seen spies like that? No? Have you not? You lot good films? I don't you like? No? No, do you know what I'm lying? I have seen it, because but I haven't seen it since I was a kid.

And the truth is, I can't remember it that well, but I remember enjoying it, but I couldn't tell you a lot about it other than it was in a like string of films that I watched when I was little, like The Great Outdoors and that and still craze that all of those eyes together. But then that's the one I can't remember the least. That's the other thing in your podcast that comes up quite a lot where you go looking back, there's a sort of worrying kind of to it. And I was like, oh, you'd probably put

you know, like you wouldn't. You wouldn't make that film now though, why you know, Well, there's this very sexist do you know what I mean? The female characters are pretty much in their bra for a third event stuff, do you know what I mean? So you kind of go and when you watch you guys atterally you know, it's just just witting in that in this ba so weird night, isn't it? And it was so prevalent it just seemed like it was in the format of as

comedies films. Yet every one bit where a woman's in it gets a boobs out and then we get back to a comedy like when posters were four three or four men looking through a woman's legs from behind. So I just got see how often I get text messages. We've been talking for an hour twenty that's the first text, and that was a group text. And it wasn't interested. That wasn't that was nothing to do with me. Basically, someone puts a picture of some herbs in their garden

to the family WhatsApp quick, that's depressing. That sounds aful interaction I have with the world. Now, he's the thing, Joe, you've been You've actually done very well I know you're worried and you've treated this like a pub quiz. I didn't know how many points you've got. You've got about eleven out out of fifteen. She's pretty good. How did you score? It's really pretty good. And also what you have done is your practice. Your practice for your dinner

party is amazing. Burn Sally Shield, Helen Mirriam. People are gonna be like the sophisticated professor made professor. You got it. But here's the thing, Jay, Fast and Furious six six, here's the thing. When you were at your cousin's wedding, it was actually your cousin's wedding. It was a joyous occasion, but you love your family and friends were there and you gone through. You've gone to toilet between starter and mains, came back to your seat along walking back the enemy. Notice,

but you basically just walked into something. It's like poked her in the shoulder and broken the skin. But you had a bit to drink. You weren't that bothered. No one noticed. You sat down and you started bleeding out. Yeah, it's great. So then there were speeches. You were clapping, like every time you clapped, more guts would come out of the Yeah. Yeah, that's you, like an extra in the girdfather did not get up from the table the whole time. And you you thought it was sweaty because

it's hot, but it was actually blood. You were just covered but bleeding out all over your suit. I was wearing a red suit and a red shirt as well. Yeah, so no one thought anything of it, including you. That's fine. You went in the back of the room. Yeah, and you start again. I'm tired. I'm tired, a bit feel a bit tired, actually, and your partner was like, came on, and then the first dance happened. Everyone got up, went over to my first at last, sitting here, I'll stay here.

You continued to bleed out, and then New York, New York happened, and then everyone's dancing. Four hours later. I've had the time of my life. And you, your body finally fell onto the Marquee floor dead. You bled out. Yeah, no one noticed. They were all still kicking their legs. One more, one more to the DJ, and he said, no, honestly, I'm done by the council, and the place shut down. The lights came out. Everyone's going to get Uber's out

of the front. Yeah. Months later, I'm walking through a field, I'm like Sally Fields. I'm looking for Sally Fields, and there I find you, absolutely rotted into the ground where the marquee was. No one with a carrot on my arm, a carrot up. You are someone that draw a d your head. So awful wedding. I know anyway, you're in the right hel state. There were bits of mudden ground that stuck to you. I'll come over. I brought this

coffin that I thought was the size of you. It's a bit too small, so imember to chop you up, smash you all in a put this coffee right, and then I mush it up and it's rammed in there. Right. It's only really room in this coffin for one DVD and for me to slide in the side for you to take on the other side, and on the other side of this movie night. Every night, one night it's your movie night. What film are you taking to show everyone in heaven when it's your movie? Like missus Joe Winson,

I'll take the DVD of that wedding. You're going to take a wedding the wedding video where where I bled out Okay, I want to take the video that was recorded of that wedding when in the background I show you bled out. I'm going to allow it. I'magically going to allow it because I think it would work as a document in the same way as Gimme Sountard does. So I'm gonna I'm gonna allow it. Thank you, Joe Workers. Is there anything you'd like to tell people to look

out for? What's what's to look out for? Golden Girls is on Channel five? Is really they're playing all the Golden Girls and they really though, are you in TK? They really? Yeah? What's it called? This? The one show? It's worth watching? Is it? Yeah? Because they you know, people are scalping in from now, which is fascinating. Um. Yeah, Golden Girls in the one show. That's what I'd tell people to watch out for. Joe Workings, thank you so much for your time. And you're this isn't going out,

is it? I mean, it's going to take a heavy edit, but it will. Thank you for doing this. I'm going to stop the recording and say good night to good night night. So that was episode one hundred and fifty two. Head over to patreon dot com, Forward slash Brett Goldstein for the extra twenty minutes of chat Secrets with Joe. Go to Apple Podcasts, give us a five star rating and write about the film that means the most to

you and why it's lovely to read. It helps numbers and it is really appreciated by me and my neighbor Maury. Thank you very much to Joe for doing the show, Thanks for Scrubious Pip and the Distraction Pieces Network. Thanks to Buddy Peace for producing it. Thanks to ACRS for hosting it. Thanks to Adam Richardson with the graphics and Lease Aladdin for the photography. Join me next week for another smasher of our guests. And that is it for now.

I hope you are all well in the meantime, have a lovely week, and please be excellent to each other. That was un concept was uncusts. That was unct