Fern Brady • Films To Be Buried With with Brett Goldstein #230 - podcast episode cover

Fern Brady • Films To Be Buried With with Brett Goldstein #230

Jan 12, 20231 hr 3 minSeason 3Ep. 230
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Episode description

LOOK OUT! It’s only Films To Be Buried With!

Join your host Brett Goldstein as he talks life, death, love and the universe with ace comic FERN BRADY!


A lovely treat for you this week as Brett catches up with Fern about so much, and if you know Fern already you'll know to expect a wide range of subjects - the rough and the smooth, the good and the bad and the ugly, le bien et le mal. And that's what makes it a fantastic episode. Everything from her upcoming book, to not being from Glasgow, to a bunch of situations throughout her life which she's navigated through, Ken Loach, autism, supernaturality and voiceovers, but as said, so much more. So reserve yourself some time and go in on this one. Enjoy!

Video and extra audio available on Brett's Patreon!


BOOK PRE-ORDER • 'STRONG FEMALE CHARACTER'

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SUPERBOB (Brett's 2015 feature film)

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Transcript

Speaker 1

Look out, it's only films to be Bad at Web. Hello, and welcome to Films to be buried with. My name is Brett Goldstein. I'm a comedian and actor, a writer, a director, a Mike stand and I love film. As Andre Bretton once said, love is when you meet someone who tells you something new about yourself, like the fact that you've been lying about having seen Citizen Cane for years just to avoid people explaining the film to you. Mamma Mia, look at you, Andre Bretton, and thank you

for confessing. Maybe you should come on The Resurrection. Every week I invite a special guest over. I tell them they've died. Then I get them to discuss their life through the films that meant the most of them. Previous guests include Barry Jenkins, Mark Frost, Sharon Stone, and even Zed Bambles. But this week it's the brilliant comedian and

podcaster and all round superstar. It's Fern Brady. Head over to the Patreon at patren dot com forward slash Breck Goldstein, where you get next to twenty minutes with Fern, where we talk about beginnings and endings. She tells me a secret you also get the whole episode unca and you get it ad free. Check it out over at patreon dot com. Forward slash Breck Goldstein, so Phone Brady. Phone Brady is a fucking brilliant comedian and podcaster. You might

also know her from Taskmaster. I've known her for years. I love hanging out with her. She's so funny, so interesting, and this episode is just more of that. We recorded this on Zoom and I really think you're gonna love it. So that is it for now. I hope you're all well, and I very much hope you enjoy episode two hundred and thirty of Films to be Buried With. Hello, and

welcome to Films to be Buried With. It is me Brett Goldstein, and I'm joined today by an actor, a writer, a podcaster, a sketch, a radio star, a TV star, a human star, a woman, a taskmaster, a hero, a legend, and one of the all time great stand ups in the UK. Please workcome to this show. It's the brilliant, the amazing, the wonderful. It's only fair Brady. Hello, I'm not an actor a little I can't believe you describe me as an actor. You've done that you've done an

acting No, I haven't. I don't want to do acting. I'm always trying to get my agents, always trying to make me do it. And then I've done some acting and Taskmaster and that's him back on the trying to get me into it again, and he's always like, oh, acting is really well, pet as if I don't know. And that's that's the reason I've been avoiding that. Yeah, I know you hate money and a lot of money, so if I was good at acting, I would obviously

do it. It feels psychotic to me. It is absolutely psychotic. And once you embraced that, Actually, you said something to me about acting that I'll think about a lot. When we were doing a gig, we were doing a gig and chat and Ken yeah, yeah, and then and it was ship you said, this is acting. We're going to go and pretend that we like this gig, and that's acting. So I always think of that now whenever I'm about

to do acting. That's so funny because thinking about it, I don't think we did a very good performance and pretending we were enjoying that gig. And then the one of the only things I've acted in was with your mate, John, Yeah, and it directed to me as an alien boy exactly. I've seen you as an alien boy and it was a seamless performance. It's absolutely magnificent. So yeah, so that's why I opened with your introduction as acting, because that's

really how I see you. No, I'm a communient. What I want is to avoid acting, and then when I'm about sexty to get a really gritty part and a sort of can luch felt Oh you'll be dead then, but something like that. Oh yeah, that's that's the trajectory in it. Yeah, okay, I'll sort of Kathy Bark type turn where everyone's like, oh, I didn't know she could do this really bleak roll. You want to do a Dave Jones, right, you want to be exactly? Yeah? Yeah, okay,

or like Collevia Coleman and Tyrannosaur something like that. I just wanted to do. It was depressing. Yeah, yeah, okay, that's something to pain for. You're in Taskmaster right now? Is that correct? I was finished? What happened at the end? Can we spoil it? Then? Did you win it? I didn't want it, but I want little hearts and minds of yours? Yeah, I said, I was. I did a little bit. Did you love? It? Is like the best job I've ever done? What was your favorite bit? What

was your favorite task? Singing? I had to do a sing in task. Oh man, I'm excited to see season. I sang quite a lot in the house anyway, and I write songs, So it was like the role I've been preparing for my whole life. This is so great. Yeah, it was amazing. Who won it? Well, some people are really precious about spoilers, so silly, right, But it's it's out now, it's done. Yeah, yeah, okay, I think we can say it. Then maybe we'll bliep it. Buddy, Why

don't you beliep? That's because it'll be fun. So what now you're off on tour. Well, I've got a book coming out in February. What's the book. It's just about my terrible life before it stands up. You got some great stories. I wanted to do a book about autism and feminism and that and how I need to get better at describing it. It's a dead good book. Little I know. It's cold, strong female character, but it's not like a ship comedian book. Yes, do you know where

our comedians do books that are really silly. You need to say that this is not a ship comedian book. No, but it's not. It's because I think people think I've written a silly book. But it's like a serious book. I learned Andrews read it. She was crying. Put that on it. So it's like your memoirs before stand up. Yeah, yeah, we're in one. There's almost no stand up in it. That's great because I was remember I told you years

ago I was writing. I had a stupid script and development for like five years about when I was a strett by, and then the BBC kept returning it to me and saying can you take out anything decent in it? So then I just angrily put it all into a book proposal, and then I started writing more stuff around that. Yeah, and then the book happened really quickly. Well this is

fucking great fun. And then you know what's going to happen is the babyc is gonna come crawling back to you and how can we option this book contenting to a TV show? That was well, that was basically my plan from the start. I remember our message Adam Kane. I was like, I think I would be quicker writing a book and selling the book as a script than continuing on this path, And yeah, that is happening. It's ridiculous,

not a bit like I'm having meetings about selling it. Yeah, so it was good fun because you just have more control. How long did it tective write And was it easy and cathartic or was it difficult? It wasn't really cathartic. It was like not the pressing. Well it was at some point, but I really enjoyed it. It took me about between eighteen months to two years. Most of it got done in a year. In the writing of it, did you find out anything about yourself or that, as in,

did you kind of learn something from writing it? You're like, oh, yeah, now you had a perspective on it that you didn't have before from having written it now. Yeah, well yeah, but how did I tell this is a standalone bang? Well, yeah, I realized this. I had this old man that was my friend, but I think he was grooming me. So I guess I realized that because basically because you know,

I've finally got my autism certificate in lockdown. But obviously, like on' you are what they used to call aspergers, and you had that before then I got the proper fingered it in lockdown. And then part of that is you just anyone that's nice to you as you're you just make them your friends. So when I was sixteen, my parents kicked me out of the house all the time, and I used to go to the corner shop to practice my Arabic with the old guy that run it.

For context, I was going to you need to study Arabic, and then he would take me a pizza hut and stuff and top up my phone. And I used to think, why are people looking at as weirdly? And I was like, Oh, it's because they're racist, not because I'm friends with like a sixty five year old Pakistani man. Right, So that was one bit. Had that relationship end? When did you stop hanging out? He took me home, He made me

go back to my parents, So maybe he wasn't. Maybe he was just I was telling my dad about it because I was sort of giving my parents a briefing of what was going to be in the book, and my dad said, I think he was just a very kind man, and I was like, no, I don't think, old man just top up your phone and buy you

things for no reason. He might have just felt sorry for you maybe, but he used to say anytime his wife was coming into the shop, he would be like, you have to tell her that you're just my assistant and we're getting a divorce, so don't worry. And I thought, why why I the story completely then, Yeah, and other stories I've told from the book I've sort of learned not to see on comedy podcast because people just look

fucking horrified. Liked, do you know off menu? Yeah? Men, huge fan, Yeah I did that, And they were like, what can you tell us from the book, And I said, oh, well, I used to work in a strip club in Edinburgh were the only regulars was a guy with a brain engine and a guy that had down syndrome that would just shout at us all the time. And Ed honestly looked aghas and then and then there was just a terrible silence where I was like, oh, I'll just not James.

And they had a very very good boy Sunday. They're very good. Yeah I'm a good girl, but I'm just seeing what happened. No, but they're like they're the equivalent of like Virgin Sunday. I think, yeah, yeah, you're basically talking to two virgins you've never about sex. Streaming the word strip plan probably gives them times. I know, I think they thought I was trying to I don't know. I just felt like, what I should I have adapted that story, but that was that was what was fun

about the book. But I didn't have to sort of with comedy, you're always trying to get the consent of the audience. That's what Chris Morris says. That's so interesting. Well, it then affects what kind of stand up you do weds. With a book or a film, you can just put the most fucked stuff And yeah, I totally see your can Lates plan. Now. I think it's all going to work out. I think I think you're going to play

really really depressing parts in your sixties. Well I did some acting and Taskmaster and everyone was like, that was so poignant, and I was like, I was, you know what, I was doing an impressional sade American. That's really funny. Fun I forgot, Oh man, I love your cabinets in the background. Oh thanks so much. But that wasn't what I forgot to tell you. Okay, what I forgot to tell you was, Yeah, I got some cabinets in the background. But also you're dead. You've died? Oh no, yeah, no?

Did I die off? Good question? You tell me what how did you die? I think I'm going to get killed in the street because I'll shout at some mad person that's shouting at me. I'll shout back at them and they'll stab me, stab you one time, ye, multiple times. It's definitely going to be Uncatford with other and the Worsham Council car park is where I'm going to die. Do you think maybe it's the wife of the man who was grooming you when he was sixteen. No, that

was in Scotland. Okay, I think we're still together. Oh that's nice. I'm glad she thought you were his assistant. Well, I mean I actually hope. I hope for defamation reasons that he's dead. My question is if you were his assistant, what were your duties. We used to just read horoscopes to each other, so like he'd say to the way this message, that's just to read my horoscope today. He said that I was working in the corner shop, right, okay, anyway, there's a mad in your words, a mad person in

the street in Catford. He shouts at you, he or she more than there's more than one mad person in Catfords. Yeah, you beat a Catfords. He shouts at you. You shout back, I shout back. He stabs you immediately. How many times? I don't know there could be a chase. I've been chased in Catford so many times that I don't even my facial expression doesn't even change now when I run away. Okay, So you ran a bit and then he stabs you twenty times, Yeah, in the in the back, in the front,

all over, all over, some in the head. Oh yeah, it's so tragic. Some of the head. You can't put this,

and this is terrible. The other way I think, I legitimately think I'll die, is my thing's going to pop. Something emmy is gonna pop, right just from beers still emotions, um, and I think the I think, and my brain's gonna pop or my heart is going to pop. Okay, So you only get stabbed multiple times by a mad person in the streets of Catfit or you feel so emotionally moved by something your not because I feel moved because I get so angry and where I'm up that something's

going to burst. Okay, how about this mad person in the streets shots at you. You're so furious you shout back. They run at you with a knife before they get to you with a knife. She's so angry you shout at them that your brain explains before they even stabbed. It's like that, and then just blood trickles over. Yeah, and then then they're well confused, like I didn't even I didn't touch them, and then yeah, okay, all right, cool. That's my worst death would be for something to fall

on my head from the sky. I'm always worried about that. Yeah, I get that, because happened someone in Edinburgh when I left it. What happened? That's waitress. Oh, I don't know if I should say, but I was about twenty years ago. This waitress was waitressing and she went outside tea ble outside and then I beg but a concrete just fail on her head and what happened? She died? Yeah that's what? Are we just? Yeah? Yeah, that's I mean, that's that. Would I guess fill you with dread of things fully

out of the sky. I always worry about Is it true you hear this when you're little? If you drop a pe off the top of the Eiffel Tower and it lands with someone's head, it will kill them. Is that true? Ever thought? Yeah, it seems untrue, but I would say, I think there's anyone where I find it out and that SEP would get brought away. Yeah, maybe it has to be a frozen pa. What or I would have to be not a Wendy day frozen pea on a calm day you could kill someone it was Wendy.

The p would just fall along like the fail at the start of fortist Gump. So the Eiffle towers like curved and it curved up was if you dropped it at the topic proces landed in a bit of the Eiffel Tower rather than straight with someone dead, you'd crab to throw it out a bit. Yeah. I don't know who's conducted this experiment, and it seems like a fact, But maybe it's true. When I'm in Paris, which has only happened once, I wandered around worried about being killed

by a pe Eiffel Tower. You've only been in Paris once? Yeah, I think so. Oh I went last year. Well soon that was only the second time. Everyone was smoking, even children were smoking. So Stuken. But the President's got nicer since last time. They were really nice. That's nice. Maybe they're fans of Taskmaster. No I was before that had been. Do you worry about death? And no? I think about my own death every single day though, And I watched the TV show Sex Feet Under over and over again

because it's a good meditation on death. And I love films about death, like for someone who's a comedian, everything I watch is extremely dark, Yeah, and bleak. I respect that. What about what do you think it happens when you die? Anything? What's your consciousness? Yeah? I think well, I think all the near death things people report where they feel like they're going to heaven could just be our brain comfort

in them as all their organs shut down. But I do also think we become ghosts what and stick around haunting people. I don't know if we stick around haunt and well, some people do, well, yeah they do, because I've seen ghosts. Can you tell me one guy's story from your life? Please? Well, but it's really true and

you're not going to believe me, and you're going to okay. Well, people always think that ghosts haunt stately homes and stuff, but not council houses and basket where I'm from, and my boyfriend at school he was saying, Oh, my house is really haunted and it's like a real problem. And then his mom was like, she said, the house is so fucking haunted. I can't even get through any of

the spooky lines. They all hang up on me. And she was phoning psychic hotlines and they were just refusing to speak to her, and any psychic that did speak to her was like, you have to move out this house that's so haunted. So we had a seance one night, me, my boyfriend, and two of our mates from school, and we were just drinking and stuff and it ends up being quite a laugh. But we'd also brought a cam corder because this is like two thousand and two or something.

Who wouldn't have camera phones. We put the cam corridor on the couch. Now, we just forgot about it and we were all sitting around drinking, eating a ton of Quality Street right then. We watched the thing back the next day and it was all dark when we were sitting around, and you can just see the wrappers of the Quality Street get pushed down on the table and pushed across the table. Then my friends was chatting away.

She had her back to the camera and you see her just brushing her shoulder absent mindedly, and then from the angle of the camera you just see her top being pulled right. Oh my god. There was other stuff where we would wake up in the middle of the night and like books would be stamping around the downstairs of the house and no one was downstairs. And then the bit no one believes me about is there was a shot of a door in this video and an old man's face, like this ghostly thing of an old

man's face came out the door. But then my friend lent the video to someone that we knew at UNI and she never gave it back, so now we never have proof of this happening. Fucking that's a great story. Yeah, well, so do you think guys hang around? You don't think they go to heaven or do you think some go to heaven some stick around. No, I don't think goes go to heaven. I don't think it was heaven or hell.

You think everyone just sticks around as a spirit? Yeah? Interesting, So if you could, like the veil on your eyes, you'd see guys everywhere. You see a billion six billion ghosts. Well, I don't think they're all there at anyone team. I thank they exist. Different ghosts success to different people. So that my grandparents would be watching me and stuff, but I wouldn't see your grandparents because they're not. No. The problem is I'm a Catholic, and Catholics believe that your

grandparents are watching you have sex. Yeah, well that was why I was brought up to believe. Yeah, no, that makes sense. They're into that. Well I'm just trying to work out the logic, not that it needs them. But so your grandparents are watching you, but I wouldn't. Your grandparents aren't watching me, So I don't see your grandparents. Yeah, so I only see my grands So everyone's family sort

of sticks around and in their hats. In your house, you've got guys and they're all your family, and in my house, I got guys and they're all my family. Everyone stays separate. Yes, okay. Also, it's only the ghosts that cared about you. So, like, like my Grandda was a drunk and just that's like mad guy, and I didn't have any like very much connection to him. He's not haunting me, he's haunting other people. So only the grandparents. God not like I don't know. I don't even know

who he was bothered about. But my grandparents on my mom's side are around so and you can tell because they appear in the form of robins and stuffy. Yeah do you know about that? Tell me you don't know. So when you see a robin and it's one of your dead relatives, is it? Yeah, that's why robins are so cheeky. Why they any sort of Christmas bed, Well, they're not. They're not for me. They only live for eighteen months. I just found out, because they're just a ghost.

Maybe that's why you only see them at Christmas because the rest of the time they're doing their bucket list or something. We've got a quicklihood before we got fascinating. My boyfriend's family got They got an espresso machine for his mom at Christmas and a robin flu in just as they were talking about it was grand and these are all Granny's here, and then the robin shout all down the espresso machine and then they like knew it was hard because that was the kind of she was

quite grumpy herself. Well, I got some news for your fad. It's sort of true. And it's sort of not. The thing is, yeah, you can stick around and home people if you want, But if you don't want, there's a heaven, and you go to heaven. You're very welcome that everyone's a huge fan. They love you stand out, they love you your book. They've read an advanced copy. They absolutely love it. And it's filled with your favorite thing. What's your favorite thing? Bread? Bread? Bread, Yeah, think of you.

Whenever I'm trying to give up breads, you just think of Brett. I referenced you. I went on this fast and retreat, right, did you? Yeahue Blue was taking the pest out on before it, and I went disproportionately mental at her over it. Well after, for a few days afterwards, I didn't want to eat bread, which is really mad to me because I'm like an alcoholic when it comes to bread. I love it. But whenever I'm thinking don't you want to be more successful and break America and stuff?

I think of that time when we were at Welles Fest of all are you are you like? This is weird that you have all these treasured memories on me. When you and me and Luke McQueen and Lua got breakfast and then you were like, I don't want any toast with my breakfast, and now we're in the ted Lasso thing. Yeah, I think that's why. I think it was not eating bread that led to well, that's part of it. I think it's completely. I think that's all it is. Anyone you are, it's such an amazing sacrifice,

sacrifice the time. But you know, I really like said lesson, so I guess it's one of the Well, Naomi Campbell says, like, I remember she had a quote about, oh you know you can you can do without heaven. She basically was seeing she hasn't the knees in life, and if that means not having bread at restaurants, she can deal with it. And I think about that and the time you didn't have toasted with your breakfast as sensible. Well, listen, once you listen, I agree. Once I'm in heaven, I'm fucking

it's all bread. You're gonna look like Grossel Cruel after because I think sometimes I go, why can't I just be like Grossel Cruel because he signed contracts to see he would eat healthilly when he was doing Gladiator. Now you see him in Australia and he's just like eating pies at football matches and he's gained about twenty stone and you're like, that's the right way to do it. He seems so much happier as well. Yeah, I'm sure he is. Okay, Well, this heaven is filled with bread,

smells like a fresh bakery. In the seats are like dough, but like freshly cooked don and they're not too up but they're warm. And everyone there is like a Pillsbury doughboys walking around and they all look like that and you could not poke their belly. And they go and they're so exciting, and there's bread everywhere, bread, bread, bread, and the bread. People want to talk to you about your life, but they weren't talk to you about your life through film. The first thing they ask is, what

is the first film you remember seeing? Friend Brady? The Little Mermaids excellent film, which is actually an autism film. To bring it back to my book, The Little Mermaids, So Han's Christian Anderson that wrote that film was like widely speculated to sense then a lot of people think that he was autistic. And The Little Mermaids about feeling like you're a freak and you don't fit in with

this other world. So you do a deal where you get the thing that you want and you learn to like pretend you're a normal woman, but you know you're not, and you know you need to be back with the fish in the sea. That's interesting. What what why was he what? What's the thinking behind the decision that he was autistic? Has risen? Oh? There speculation behind it? Yeah, yeah, so many things like well, then one of the most famous things is when he went to Charles Deckon's house

for the visit. They I think they've been writing to each other and then Charles Deckon had sort of casually said, oh, if you're ever in London, comes stay at my house. Then he went to stay and because or testing people can't read between the lines, he just ended up staying for weeks and the whole family were just taking the pest out of him behind his back. Then at one point he lay on their law and just like crying his eyes out because they parted his feelings or something.

It's the whole thing. You can look at where did you see Little Mermaid? I had it on video and I used to take the video with me everywhere I went and like make people put it on. I just loved it. I really loved that film. We are you in any Child. I've got two younger brothers, so I'm the eldest. Did you watch it with them? Well, one of them was a baby, so I would have been like four. Basically, we didn't have a video player, but my grandparents had it, so I used to keep taking

it to the video to their house. And then my grandda was like, I can't watch The Little Mermaid one more time. But it's say, it's just such a significant film because she can't. She's trying to impress this guy by suppressing all her natural instincts. And it's like in the fairy Tale, because the fairy Tale of the Little mermaids a lot darker. She's basically in agony. Was every step that she takes on her legs. It's a horrible end in the fairy tale. It's at the end. Yeah,

and the end of the non Disney version. Oh, her sisters flow out of the sea and they've all cut their hair off to give it to the sea witch, and they say, take this dagger and stab the prince with it, and when his warm blood goes onto your feet, you'll get your tailback and you can come back and live with us in the sea. So then she's standing over the sleeping prince with his new bride, and she's

just like, I can't you do it? And then as it turns to midnight or the sun comes up or something, she turns into sea foam and then she has to live for a thousand years as like a fucking sea foam spirit or something. Yeah. I don't know why they change the ending. There would have been a good song though. She's standing over the prince trying to decide whether or not to stab him. Yeah, that's true, kill him. What's the film that scared you the most? Well? I put

two options for this. I said Hereditary, which I think a lot of people will see. There's this amazing film called Lennon Lucy. Have you heard of it? Lenn you

have to say kind of sorry, Lane. So Lennon Lucy's about because I'm obsessed with and loads of my book is about this, the idea of toxic femininity, which is the way women are brought up to socialize, where they're passive, aggressive and often you can't really tell if women have fallen out of you because they're just making side eye at each other and making secret little bit chy faces. So this film is about two best friends living in somewhere awful like Kent or something, and one of them

gets accused of killing her baby. Her baby dies mysteriously, and then all the women at the hair dress and salon that they work and turn against the friends. This is really recent, this film, isn't it's too Yeah? Yeah, it was one of those films that was just on I play, yeah, And I will watch any film that's about women going through like a dark time, especially if it's a British film, gritty, independent British film. And why did this one scat you the most? Because it's so true.

So it's basically showing toxic femininity taken to its logical extreme and almost this like witch hunt of this women. And it's the way that there are that women can be bitches without ever really saying stuff in a direct way. And as someone who's really direct, because I always get told him really direct and blunt, but I'm quite I've not got a lot of social like, I'm not socially canny in that way. And if people are saying things without saying them, I can't really read between the lines

and work out what's going on in this situation? So that film is more like a horror film than a traditional horror film is to me a great, great fucking answer. What's the film that made you cry the most? Are your cryer? Baby Teeth? Have you seen Baby Teeth? You have Baby Teeth? It's an amazing film. Oh my god, that's another one. It's so excited eating when you just

find the film. You just run out of things to watch on Netflix, and then you just put something on randomly, and then two hours later you're like, I actually thought I was gonna drown in my own tears or have a heart attack while crying at it. It's such a good film. There's a there's a scene up and think about and it's quite a big it's a spoiler. I don't know. Listen if you've not seen Baby tea pressed

skipped forward a minute. But after she's died, the scene in the kitchen and the way that the mom reacts to him, it's really like, so I don't know, three dimension knowing like it's not sort of what it's kind of. I just think that whole end part of it. I mean, it's a brilliant film. It's really brilliant and really feels real and complicated, and yeah, it's actually it's a really sexy felm as well, like he kind of focks her

to death. Yeah, it's lovely by the end. But you always one thing I thought might be on realistic but I don't really care, is generally when you've got cancer and your body's shutting down, you wouldn't really feel like a ride. But love is love. But yeah, I just thought because it's just really four actors in it, and they're just so amazing. I'm so beautifully shot. There's a

great eating a sandwich about having sex scenes. Remember when the mom and dad meet at work to have quick sex, And yeah, I was to that house that they live on. Is so amazing, it's great. I wondered where they found it. The first night, so I watched Baby Teeth and my boyfriend was asleep next to me in the bed, and by the end I was like and I had to like set up because I was crying so hard. So the next night I was like, you have to watch this film with me. Just don't ask me anything about

it and just watch it. And then the next night again we were both just like sob it what's the film you love, people don't like it is not critically well received, but you think it's brilliant regardless of what anyone says. Well, I was going to see show Girls, but I think show Girls has such a big fandom now and it's so appreciated. I don't think that's a

good enough answer. So I think Cruel Intentions. If I was to see my favorite films, yeah, sometimes you try and see like Baby Teeth as is one of my favorite films, but it's very like critically well regarded it. Yeah, but if I look and save myself and if I look at a film I watched a lot, Cruel Intentions as a fucking amazing film. I love that. Someone said, what if we died out the whole film where no matter what's going on, everyone talks like their horny and

about to come. You just love it. Every single person is going to see things in a horny way. Yeah, it's a fucking great film. You kind of you could also have show Girls because it hasn't been mentioned enough if anything on this podcast. It I mean it's come up, but you'd think it would be coming up every week. Okay,

so me, we and my best mate Lauren. When we were at UNI, we used to live in a flat together and LEAs and Edinburgh and we watched Showgirls every single day and we know when we keep back, we were get a chippy and just have Showgirls on again and again and again. And then we had a Showgirls flat warming party where our game male friends were wearing like Gold's hot pants that we'd spray painted gold. And then Lauren made a wall of TETs where she cut all the TETs out of the Zoom magazine and nuts.

Because if my dad came round after and he was really upset at the wall of TETs. Why my family are quite religious? Oh I see, okay, yeah, it's a bad I suppose if you're depending on your religion. What is the film that you used to love but you've watched it recently and I don't like this anymore? Oh, kids, kids, Kids, is such a good answer to this question. That is such a good answer. Yeah, please elaborate, but I know

exactly what you're talking about. But go on. So when I was sixteen or seventeen, I remember I had this summer who used to used to go to the video shop and sometimes you could buy discounted videos and I didn't have the Internet or anything at home, so you just had to watch a film again and again. So I remember that summer where the film that me and my pals watched over and over was Kids, and we'd

all just started having sex. So it's not a great film, or it is a good film to watch, because the plot of Kids is that there's this there's a really slotty girl in it who's been shagged up the arts and everything, and she doesn't get AIDS and Coolie Vigney does get aids. How would you say her surname? I love her? Okay, so close to Bernie has sex onds

and she gets said yeah. Yeah. But the reason I don't like it as an adult because when I was a teenager, I was like, Oh, this film is so cool and it looks so cool and it's it's like, but if you watch it back as an adult, it's that what's that guy's name, Larry something. Yeah, he's basically a pedophile. He's no better than Terry Richardson, the photographer that took all the sort of pedo shots. Yeah yeah. And the other thing about Kids is half the cast

are dead now, which is really sad. Yeah, yeah, yeah, just tragic suicide and drug overdoses and stuff. Yeah, it's not very uplifting teen film. And there's also a lot of scenes that like I hate groutuits violence in films so so much. I can't watch any Tarantino stuff and I don't even like if it's on in the background were but the bet where they batter that guy with a skateboard, I just it didn't really serve to drive

the story forward or anything. I think in now I'm older, a film that kids is like, I think it exists to sort of scare, to sort of scare you and wind you up. It's almost like a probably like a modern version of Reef and Madness, you know, that sort of fifties black and white sort of public service film that's sort of famous where it's like drugs are bad and they will yeah kill it. Like kids is sort of like look at kids, They're terrible and this is

the crazy life they live. Yeah, isn't it isn't. I mean, I guess it did have a good effect, but I mean I really didn't have a disproportionate fear of gut and needs for a long time. Yeah, well it's kept you safe, and we thank for that. That's why you've you've only had sex multiple times and never just went because that's how you get it's according to the film. Yeah, do it quick, quick, Yeah, grabbed the skateboard. What is

the film that means the most to you? Not necessarily the film itself is any good, but the experience you had around seeing the film will always make it special to you. Brady. Oh, it's another clue to bingy one. Oh well, I've put two answers for every every film. So firstly Human Traffic, because go and tell me that I that loved it. I do. See that's on our film I work back on and I find it's very all its time and very annoying. Yeah, I've not watched

it in however long years. I'm sure. Well this is it. This is in my book as well. I had when I was still at school. So this is a bit. This is Reverdy dodgy. I had the three way with these people I'm at off the internet. One of them was a policewoman, the other one was a biefy and bored. I was only seventeen. I think they were borderline pedophiles. This is what I want about the booking flocked. Anyway,

I was trying to get away. Yeah, I mean, we can cut this you on, but I'm sort of curious, like you sort of actively looked for that when they found you, Like, no, they found me, I was. They found me on on dating site that me and my friends were on. That's only one. But I realized was Matt. It was only when I was writing the book. I thought that was quite mad, and the publisher said it

was mad. Yeah. Well, anyway, I was trying to get away from their house and find a way to get away from their house, and I also I just didn't want to talk to them anymore. And I was looking at their DVDs and I said, can I borrow this Human Traffic DVD? And they were like, yeah, maybe you can return it to us when you come back next weekend. And I was like, oh god, I'm not coming back. Who does this more than once? This is awful. And then a few weeks later they were like messaging me again,

like where's our Human Traffic DVD? Yeah? And I never gave it back. Did you watch it? Yeah? I watched it. It reminds me of that really specific time. I was watching kids a lot around the same Time Kids and Human Traffic. And then the other film was Boys Don't Cry. Yeah, And this was from my sixteenth birthday. I rented a video from the video shop to watch with my friends, but my parents are so strict and so religious that they wouldn't let me watch the film on my own,

like without them supervising. So we had to watch Chloe Surrown You Get Shagged by Hillary Swank waiting at a strap on with my parents and all my friends from school, and it was just exclusion. I'm still worrying about your three way with these women and who was the other character in this disturbing story? He was a bier. Was this a one off thing or did you have as in that was a one off? But did you have other experiences? Did you have good experiences from your dating

on the internet? Or is this the minute so disturbing the context as well? I mean I was I was like mental at the time as well, right, okay, okay, okay, I'm sorry. I was mental and I had this three way. I was talking to my friends, my rese apout it the other day. She was she wrote quite a mad book full of sex, and she was I said, at least the sex and You're a book's very sexy. And she was like, I'm sure You're a book is sexy

as well. And I was like, I wrote about having Kenney Stones our three way, Like that's not sexy because also at the time, sometimes when I've gone mad, I just want to eat one food over and over and I'll usually do that until I get out, And at this time, I was only I was basically just having diet cork, Like there was another time where all on the eggs until mar kidneys can give up. That's not very sexy, isn't it. I'm sure there's a there's a

fetish for that somewhere. Yeah, Brady, I'm sorry. Oh no, it's made me sad. I've never been made sad by the idea of a three way. And there we are. Oh yeah, it was so grand. I guess. So sex can be sad in the in the right context. Do you want me to see another film that Another film that was had a mad context that I think about a lot was I watched the film Choke when I had a break up at UNI, and I was really sad.

So now have you seen the film Choke? Yeah? Based on the chuck Yeah, yeah, I think if I'd seen Shook outside of any other context, it wouldn't be such a like the song reckon or makes me so sad, and I think it's such a lovely song because they

play it at the end of that film. But traditionally the way that film ends is something where I kind of go fuck off because the end of the film has him kissing Kelly McDonald, Sam Rockwell kisses Kelly McDonald and an airplane toilet and the voiceover, and I hate voiceovers as a device. The voiceover is like, maybe me and her are just two crazy souls destined to find each other, do you know what I mean? I hate

things like that. Why do you hate voice Because if you're a good storyteller, if you're if you can't tell the story visually, maybe go and write a book. Like I was watching it. We're known an either film last night, and everyone on either film has a voiceover to tell the story. I mean, that's what the that's how Maybe you're just a true filmmaker, that's what that is. Sort of Traditionally what you're taught is don't do voice overs. I do want to make films. Yeah, you've got you've

got the eye for it apparently. I think it's also treating the audience as stupid putting a voice over there. I don't know how I feel about it, because I also go you know, Good Fellows is one of my time favorite films, and that's voice over Zoo. And then Showshank Redemption famously most people's favorite film. It works when it Joshank Redemption is people's favorite film on IMDb. Number one film is Show Redemption. We're so basic. I just don't want I don't really like watching films about men

and their stories. That's fair. What's the film that you most relate to? Besh Tank That's such a good answer. My god, Besh Tanks were all time favorite film. I think it's a perfect film. I think Andrea Arnold is totally underappreciated. I don't really understands why she hasn't won an oscar. She even made a film about a cow, a dairy cow. Yeah yeah, yeah, Like it shows the cow meeting its boyfriend and the cow has sex with the bull, and then like Rihanna's We Found Love in

a Hopeless Place or something place in the background. It's so good. So by the end when the cow dies, which isn't really a spoiler, because what do you think happens to dairy cows? Me and my boyfriend watched it and we were like crying, like we have to give up meet and we have to give up dairy. Yeah. I think that was the end of that film. Have you given up meeting dairy? I don't eat meat, but the dairy film I'm working on. But about fest Tank, Yeah. The reason why I think it's so amazing is, um,

it's all about being a creative. When you're a working class Garrow and you want to be creative. She goes to this dance audition and she wants to be an r and bad dancer, but then all the other girls are just doing sexy, sort of streckery dancing. And it's about that realization that if you stay in that place, there will only ever be one way for you to be a woman, and she's trying to find a different way of doing that and that's why she has to leave.

Thanks him, I get it. Fend Brady, what's the sexiest film you've ever seen? Well? I think I said beshtag. Um, I love him Beshtag. When Michael Fassbender's like, do you like my big cock in side you or whoever, because I'm just like that last he wasn't even an actress before this, and now she's getting to like pretend to shag Michael Fassbender and desiged it like I pretty much all the guid Irish guy. I love it. It's so hot. Okay, fish Tank traveling, I love you too, Mama Town again.

That would be that would be the best answer, because if I got cancer, I'd also go to Mexico and have a freeway. Yeah, with those two fit guys. But I've never really watched it. Oh, she's wonderful film, but I've never rewatched it. I've only watched it like once or twice fifteen years ago. What Where's fish Tank? Son repeated it. I've watched Fresh Tank probably twenty times, and I forced Alison. Do you know Alison spettal she's an

Irish comedian, basically forced her to watch it. Had a campaign to get her to watch it because she'd cried a Wasp, which is Andrew Arnold's short film. So I was like, what well have you got against watching Fresh Tank? Did she love it? She didn't love it as much as me. Right. The subcategory is traveling bone is worrying why dons filmy found a rising? You should know. I mean, we're all excited for this. Well, this is the truth, right,

and I'm not saying it to be provocative in Schendler's list. Now, this isn't my fault that this made mar I was that Steven spielke Berg's fault. There's a bit where this I think her name is Helena Hirsh. She's like shivering and the basement she lives in and her nipples are poking out, and then Ray finds comes down and he's like at least the eyes of a rat, and he's like fancies her. Yeah, so I saw this when I was like ten or eleven, and he's like, is this

the face of my rat? And he's basically saying, I really fancy you, even though I hate you. And this is a when I was younger, I went out with some bad guys, so I obviously loved to go out with a guy that hated me. Anyway, he's all harney from looking at her, and then he pushes a shelf on her. He like pushes a bookshelf on her. And I used to just think I'd love to have a bookshelf pushed on me would be so hot, Fad Brady, you have fulfilled the criteria of that question so fully

and isolate you. Well, there's a similar one, just so you don't think, oh, she just deliberately picked Chendler's list to provoke me a really similar one. Batman Returns. Michelle Fifers not yet Catwomen. This is how she becomes Catwomen. She's a shy secretary and then Christopher walkins her country boss, and I just think he's so attractive and he like leans in close to her and he's having a go at her, and then she's like and then he leans back and shoves her out the window. And I just

thought that was really her rousing. I just want to be shoved out a window and murdered or have a bookshelf pushed on me that I do get the Batman Returns when that is any moment in that film with Michelle having see and it is sixty that scene because there's tension because she knows she's caught and he's Chris walking. I mean, it's a great fucking scene. Well. The other thing is both these films I saw them before I

really understood the context of either films. So in Batman Returns, I didn't understand that she'd I think she'd like stolen documents for his evil nuclear power plant. And then in Schendler's Left, I didn't understand because I really watched the scene before doing this podcast, because I really wanted to make sure I didn't see a wrong thing. I really didn't understand the context, context of Schendler's left as a child,

in the context of that whole scene. But I do think Steven Spielberg deadn't needs to have that scene interesting. But I fancied Ray finds so much. I love a man with cold eyes who has no interest in me. I get that on the with women colde dead eyed woman who yea hates You Delicious? What is objectively the greatest film of all time, everything everywhere, all at once,

I think, fuck, yeah, fuck yeah. I went to see that at the cinema, And sometimes you go and see a film at the cinema where you're like, I'm so glad that I saw this at the cinema rather than in the house. Yeah. I basically was crying from very early on, like very very early on in the film, and my boyfriend was like, why are you crying, and I said, just at the power of cinema. I was like, I just love basically, I just love films so much, and I felt so happy that they'd made that film,

and I cried. Well, I laughed a lot at it, and I was sort of like cheering and stuff. But I cried at that film about about five different points in the film. It was it was ridiculous. It's such a good film. It's amazing. I cried the last I heard of that film. I cried solidly. I think it's really incredible that it's so beautiful and it's so lovely that watching the interviews with the actors, because they both of them sort of felt like there weren't roles for them.

Whether it's because they're Asian or was Michelle Yo. I think because of her age, she just felt like she aged out with cinema. But yeah, I love it. I love it so much. You're right, that's a fantastic answer, And you're right, what is the film you could or have? What's the most Over and over again, I'm trying to link a one that isn't Fresh Tank. Oh, oh my god, My Summer of Love. Oh great? Have you ever seen that? With Emily Blunt. Yeah, that's a hot film as well. Yeah,

you see Emily Blunt's boobs. I really fancy Patty Considine. So there's like a hot non sex scene between them where they like nearly kiss. I think they do cass a bet. And it's mad because My Summer of Love I think was a novel about U lesbian in like the Yorkshire countryside. But then the directors this Polish guy that just really fancied making it. But it's such a beautifully shot film and it's like the mood of it is so good, and Emily Blunt's character is such a bitch.

Lead actress is amazing. Paddy Constin's amazing, even though he's not even in it for that one. Yeah, he's great. Okay, I don't like to be too negative fans, so let's do this quick. What's the worst film you've ever seen? Not in Hell? How about that Knowing Hell? Yeah, that's an interesting answer for why I really enjoyed Noting Hell when it first came out. I went to see at

the cinema or rewatched it several times. But I believe that Not in Hell and then the whole Richard Curtis universe tricked me, and I'm moving to London, a place which is nothing like Not in Hell. I've lived in London for it's going to be ten years next year. I promised myself I'd do ten years, see if I could get famous in comedy and then I could finally go home, or i'd moved to Glasgow where everyone thanks

something from growing up. I think that there needs to be more films about how London really is, because watching Not in Hell, where it's like my name's Will and I working at the foot bookshop, it was so miss leading to the horror of South London. Every day that I live in London, I think I'm going to die, and every day there's just fresh human misery. And I have a nice life in London. I do the job I love, I bought a house here and all that, and it's still a horrific place at the end of

ten years. Realistically, I won't, but I have started up a campaign to get my boyfriend to agree to move to Scotland. You're in comedy, You're very funny. What's the film that made you laugh the most? Oh? A Star is Born? Oh my god, So I first watched A Star is but I really love what in films on planes because I'm usually on Xanax or something like that,

and I'll always either cry excessively or laugh excessively. And I watched A Star is Born on the way back from Melbourne and they got if you haven't have you seen A Star is Born? So they go, so, how do I say this in a way that won't get canceled? I have alcoholics in my family, so I wouldn't be the most sympathetic person towards the idea of alcoholism as a disease or whatever. But I understand why that's a

flawed for you. Anyway. The plot of A Star is Born is she's going out with this Alkay and then they go to the oscars. He's been on one from like seven pm. And then Lady Gaga my Baits of Grammy's Lady Gaga gets an award for an album and then and she's like, oh baby, can you come up on stage? And she gets wasn't name Bradley coopered up on stage and he's like, oh so good, and then he just starts to pitch himself on stage and she's like, oh baby, no, oh no, and she starts to use

her dress to come. I was screaming, laughing, and I remember the person sat next to me just looked at looked really disturbed by my reaction. And then my best friend Laden, I said to her, you have to watch the film A starta is born, so we find a lot of the same stuff funny that we both thought show Girls was funny. And I said, you and Astara

is born, this is what happens. And then I was fortunate enough to be with her when she first watched that butt and she would go, it's exactly you said, this is exactly what happens, and we just were howling laughing. Same with my boyfriend. We have the same sense of humor. You also found it very, very funny. But then interestingly, my best mate said to me, she said, listen, fun there's glasses we went to school with. They think this

is the most poignant thing ever. And I went, no, they don't, and she said, they do basic bitches, if you think about it, quite basic glasses who their husband or their boyfriend just gets pissed every Saturday night and makes a fool of them. For them, this is dead poignant.

And then sure enough, someone that I worked with who was really basic an annoyance that doesn't identify them, and it's not a British person, so you won't know that is I was like stalking her Instagram to like and then I saw that she'd posted A Star Was Born is such a wonderful film about addiction. It's oh God, I love it and I watched I sometimes just get that scene up on YouTube to watch it. I'm not a monster. Knowing that there's people going unless it's so

pointed makes me laugh even more. Ben Brady, you have been an extraordinary joy. Thank you. You've been wonderful. However, when you were out in Catford and a mad person shouted at you in the street, and you were so angry you shouted back, and you got so mad they ran towards you with a knife. They were about to stab you twenty times in the back, front and head, but before the knife could make contact, your emotions became

so engaged that your brain exploded and your eyeballs. The guy, the mad guy, run towards your knife and just saw your eyeballs just popping and they popped out from your brain explained, and you fell to the ground and they went and I was and through Catfood with a coffee, you know how I am, and and I'm like friends, I sat alone, maybe we can not eat taste together. And then I see this covering around the street and fucking hell, what's that? And I see you eyeless brains

leaking out of your eye sockets. Yeah, and they go, oh shit, sorry, guys, I probably need to pick this up. But so I've got this coffin, but it's not quite the right size, so I'm having to get I go to Magoy I can have that note, and we start chopping you up into bits, trying to make you smaller. Anyway, we stuff you in this coffin, stuff you in, all bits of you and all your brains. I'm trying to scoop up brains from the from the everything. And then

there's a peat embedded in your skull. It turns out I'm going to chuck to peter your head as well. Well, they don't they done it? Oh that's not a thing, did they did? I'm afraid of stuff you in. Anyway. The coffee is full, it is jammed, and there was

only enough room in that coffee. And to slip one DVD into the side with you to take across to the other side and on the other side, maybe night every night, what film are you going to show the bread people of Heaven in Bread Heaven in the Bread Cinema when it is your movie night, fen Brady, Guy, fish Tank, it is surprisingly fish Tank, Ladies and gentlemen, This has been Fern Brady. Is there anything you would like to tell people to watch, to look out for,

or to read. Perhaps please read my book also available on audiobook and Kendall and it comes out February of the sixteenth books called strong female character. But I didn't call it that, so it would be No. I didn't call it that, like, oh, it's about impoland women. I just called it that as a pestic But now people think I've called it that. Seriously, Been Brady, you're a strong female character. Wonderful talking with you. Thank you very much for doing this. Have a wonderful death. Thank you.

So it was episode two hundred and thirty. Head over to Patreon at patreon dot com. Forward slash Brett Goldstein for the extra twenty minutes of chat, secrets and video with phone. Go to Apple Podcasts. Give us a five star rating. But right about the film that means the most of you and why my neighbor Maureen likes reading them, and you wouldn't want to make her angry, would you? Would you? Thank you so much, Jevonne listens. Thanks to Fern for giving me her time. Go see her on tour.

You won't regret it. Also listen to our podcast. I mean, just look her up, go and see everything she's doing, because she's brilliant. Thanks to Scrubis, Pip and the Distraction Pieces Network. Thanks to Buddy Piece for producing it, Thanks to a Gas for hosting it. Thanks to Adam Richardson for the graphics, and these allowed them for the photography. I hope you are all well. Have I said that? Well? I mean it twice. Come join me next week for another smasher of a guest. But that is it for now.

In the meantime, everyone have a lovely week and please be excellent to each other. Stops starts batt

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