Chloe Petts • Films To Be Buried With with Brett Goldstein #225

invite a special guest over. I tell them they've died. Then I get them to discussed their life through the films that meant the most of them. Previous guests include Barry Jenkins, Sharon Stone, Mark Frost, and even Claddie Plambles. But this week it's the incredible comedian and all round her is Chloe Pets. Head over to the Patreon at patreon dot com forward slash Brett Goldstein, where you get an extra twenty minutes of chat secrets, beginnings, endings, and

the video ad free the whole thing. Check it out over at patreon dot com forward slash Brett Goldstein. So Chloe Pets. Come on. If you don't know Chloe Pets, Cloye Pets is one of the funniest comedians working today. She's about to go on tour, or she is on tour, or she's about to go on tour. I think her tour is about to start. Either way, you should go and see her on tour because she is brilliant. All you've got to do is look her up. You'll see

all the amazing reviews. Everyone loves Chloe Pets. She's amazing. We recorded this on Zoom. Oh we had a right old time. I think you're really gonna love this one. So that is it for now. I very much hope you enjoy episode two hundred and twenty five of Films to be Buried With. Hello, and welcome to Films to

be Buried With. It is I Brett Goldstein, and I am joined today by a stand up a footballer, a football fan of the second greatest team in the UK, a lull worder, a transience tourer, a hero, a legend, a podcaster, a writer, an actor, an mc an Award winner, and best of all, a not best of all to her, but certainly too listeners of this podcast. She has been trapped on tour for years now with our own Breddy Brambles. Please welcome to the show. I can't believe he's let

her out for the day. Please welcome here years it's Glary Betts who Well, yes, I am locked in a hotel room. Yes, tell us all. We've just been to the gym me and Edge and he was lifting very Have we wait? Actually, I think he might have known that I was coming on this podcast, so he did extra heavy ones today so I can report back that he was doing really good stuff. This is so great. So you are ontour with bread Panbles and you have him for a long time and he has locked in

his hotrman allowed you to do a podcast. No, not his hotel. I think like we are doing some like fictional stuff where we're taking the piss out of him. But I think saying that he's locked me in his hotel and would be taking it a bit too far and maybe in the sort of direction that we shouldn't been spending. Agreed to disagree, But anyway, how is it going? It's honestly so fun, like yeah, it's we've lost our minds.

It feels like lovely because I feel like him and Pulled the tour manager are like my two brothers, and you can just be the worst version of yourself in front of them, which is really freeing. But we've only got a couple of weeks left of it, and I think we're probably ready for it to just about be over so we can sort of return to our lives and our loved ones. But I think it will be so sad because we have created this little unit, which is it's just such a laugh, and the gigs don't

feel like work. They just feel like you just go and have fun. Oh, it's great, and then you'd start your own tour, right or have you started your tour? Well? I did a mini tool sort of last spring, and then I'm doing another tour this spring. Who do you take with you or are you doing it on your own? Me? Myself? And I I opened for myself. I support myself. Do you wear a different hat or something? Yeah? Yeah, I like your character. Hello, it's me Boilets and yeah, I'm

just smoking a cigar sort of speaking trees about the world. Yeah, how is this your first tour? Forgive me if it is not. No, No, it is my first tour. But I would have forgiven you anyway. Thank you, You're very forgiving. How how do you find it? How is being on your own get enough and doing this stuff on your own? Now? Do you miss being with other people when you do it? Is it the best thing that's ever happened? Are you sad? No,

I'm sad for unrelated reasons. No, it's really cool. I think I need to start remembering how cool it is and how like that's the sort of aim for stand ups is you want to be off doing your own tour and people come there to see you. But I think it's just the like, when you're sort of touring at my level, all of the gump around it you sort of have to do so you have to turn up early, do your own sound check, do your own tech,

all of this kind of stuff. But then it feels like once you've done all of that, the travel, the tech, the show is the reward, and that feels you're just like not nervous for it anymore. You're just like, I just want to do the bit that I'm here to do, and I guess that's quite a freeing thing. But yeah, I think in the spring I will definitely make sure to take pressure off myself and just be like, this is gonna be fun. Stop putting pressure on it. Just

have a laugh. And touring audiences are much more up for a big fun laughter than like an Edinburgh audience. And Edinburgh audience seems to want an arc, whereas a touring audience is just like, let's just do some big jokes, sonny. I mean, any audience is better than give us an up. We're forty minutes in. I don't feel when you're act too yet, but I'm not doing that. I'm just doing funny jokes. We didn't come to the comedy for funny jokes. Thank you. Why aren't we crying? We came to be moved,

Thank you very much. Jesus Christ. It's still great. And then hopefully one day I'll get to the point where, you know, Greg Davis took it out on tour as his support ed's taking me out. Maybe one day I'll take you know, the next burgeoning young thing out. I can look in my dressing room. Here, you got in it got you got in a dressing room. Pack your reed. Think you've already got someone in the chamber that you'd like to look up in your dressing room. Take on tour.

Who is it? Well, hopefully Florence Pure will start doing stand up and I kind of that got too creep. Well, what I will say is I agree. What what I will say is I don't think the person that I'm going to take out on tour one day has even started stand up? Is that? Is that a crazy claim? Well, the only down side of that is that you're sort of suggesting that it will take you so long to be able to take someone on you that it will be at least five years. So it's a sort of

newcomer's got five years about your belief perfectly. Yeah, I ain't going to be doing the size that the old egg scramble has been doing for oh for five years? What is its talk coming out of your mouth? Unacceptable? Okay, I'll back myself, d Alum, Yes, she can come with me. Tell me this. You are a football fan. Your team Crystal Palace. So you were saying the second best team, so it is the first Richmond, Richmond. Okay, if we're talking real teams that you can play on FIFA, yes,

sure Richmond. But in the Premier League UK Premier League official Crystal Palace always have a very special place in my heart because that is where we shot ted Lasso and I went on the pitch at Crystal Palace as the Captain. One of the greatest, greatest things I ever did in my whole life, and I loved them. If I were you, I would not have been able to film that scene because I would have been sobbing. Yeah, it was out as captain at Sellers Park. Really, it

really was special Tingles bonus. It was fucking great. I'd yeah, yeah, or you know, it's not sort of physiologically possible for me to get that, so I'd hire someone in to get a bonus for me. Now, that is a good use of your money. And what I've just got one note that I made, which is that ed gammer. I forgot to do it in the intro ed Gamble and I said, are you punking me? He said, I'm not punking. You should genuinely love it. He said, cool her a rat.

Oh yeah, we're a little eties. So yeah, what happened with the rat chat is I kept saying the phrase, oh that's just because I thought it was quite a funny, fun little phrase to say. If something goes wrong, you go, oh that's And then I kept saying it so much that Paul the Torm manager said, I really don't like that. I really don't like that voice. Well, when Paul the torm manager says he doesn't like something, that's sort of like, you know, a flame, flame for Ed, because Ed obviously

then took rat and ran with it. He ran with a rat and now honestly it's it's. I think it's quite wonderful in friendship groups to have sort of quite like a utilitarian word where you know, if if a punchline escapes you, or a feeling escapes you, or you just sort of need a noun for something, it's a catual word that you can just oh, rat, and everyone knows exactly what you mean. It's sometimes rat's good, sometimes rat's bad. You know it's it's it's a catual, multi

purpose word. It's like the C word for me. I get it, I think so, And do you call it the C word every time? No, I get I call it. I call it proper. But occasionally I have said it on this podcast. I say it all the time in real life, but I'm aware I keep being told that America people lose their mind if you say it. So I like to I feel like you need to be in my presence for me to use it in such a way that will make you feel warm and love.

Have you tried it in America yet? Have you? I have got a routine about it which I did try recently, and I did think, this is, this is really it, this is I might have deported or not and it did. It worked. But you know, there's a lot of preamble, there's a lot of teaching, you know, I'm trying. I'm trying to teach. First we bring football to America. Next we bring camp. Yeah, that would be really nice to be able to just you know, walk into any given chilies and just go all right, Camp I camp. Do

Crystal Palace? Know you as in you know you're a big deal these days. Have you been invited to it? No? S Have you been invited on the pizza Crystal Palace. I haven't been invited in the in a sanctum, And I really do hope, hope it happens. But I'm not going to push that because I think the thing is is let them come, let them come when they're ready. But I think the thing is as well, like that kind of stuff doesn't really matter to me because I get so much enjoyment out of it as a fan that,

like anything above that would be an added extra. And I also think that, like you know, in our line of work, particularly in your line of work, Brett, you're around superstars constantly and you sort of have to learn how to you have to learn how to be chill, you know, can't. Oh look it's Harry Styles over there. I'm not going to lose my mind. And I think I've got that with like lots of big celebrities. But if I met the Crystal Palace football team, I would

lose my fucking mind, I swear to you. I like and it's it's pathetic. I'm twenty nine years old and I'd be like weeping because like my nineteen year old hero is still in front of me. It's pathetic, but I would love it so much. Have you met them all? I haven't met all the plane christ Pallas, No, but we've been in. I've been. I've been through their lockers. I've taken all the stuff. Oh he's having a little rifle, is it. I've seen what the odor they wear and

now I wear it. Oh fuck, Clay Petts, I forgot to tell you something aging. Now, it's not Rat, I remembered Rat. It's it's you've died. You're dead? Oh yeah, dead the fuck? Now? See I listened to a couple of episodes of this and every time you've forgotten the sort of major really yeah, the Kerry Godliman episode, you were like, I forgot to sell you you're dead? Do you do that everywhere? I mean, it's good to know that you're a huge fan of the show. Is that

the contrivance? You forgot? Some contrivance? How dare you? I genuinely have a memory disorder and every week I can't even remember if I remember every week. But sure it's possible this has happened before. But you are dead, contrivance, you are? I am, you are booted up? You right? You may not even get into heaven for that. How did you die? Well? This is the thing in life. What I think, what I'd really like is have you seen the Voyage of the Dawn Treader. That's the second

big budget Nannier film. Yeah? Is that the one with Will Pulter in it? Yes? Reap a cheap a little rat ah. Yeah, wow, maybe that's why he walks like. The way he dies is he just walks sort of through this big wave. And I've always said to my Mum, like I wish that's how we could sort of go, Like I'd like it to be the end of my life. The end of my life when I'm ready to go. All of the people that I've loved, all the pets

that I've loved, will never die. We will just stand on the edge of this wave and go, we're ready now, and then we walk into the wave. That's my dream. But I genuinely think the way that I will die is you know, I think the funniest time in my life is you know, when you do one bodily function, like you sneeze and then it induces a far yeah, the double up. I think if I ever accidentally sneezed, farted and then coughed, if I added a third one, I think my body would just I think my body

would just cop it. So I think, ideally through a lovely wave with all my loved ones, but I think in reality it would be a fart, sneeze, cough hybrid. Well, there's a lot kind because you're taking your loved ones with you when you die. You're not like dying on your own have you seen Deep Impact? I actually haven't.

Like Deep Impact spoiler. I'm afraid taor leone. You know, it's the end of the world coming whatever it met your hits and she and her father stand on the beach and like hold each other as a giant tied a wave sort of just goes over them. Is that your dream? Is that? How is that what we're saying here? No, you're sticking towards the tide away. It's just like a big like wall of sea and on the other side is the other side. It's not like, well, no, I'm sorry.

I absolutely loved the sea and would very bit happily die in the sea. Yeah. The thing I'm just sort of looking at is once you step into that wall of c which is beautiful, you are going to drown. Drowning, not going to drown. It's magical. You're what you're missing is this magical C And it's a bit like, you know, oh, well, this is a really big spoiler. If you haven't watched The Good Place, then skip thirty seconds and go and

watch it and then watch the end. Is you know, in the Good Place when they all walk through to the other side at the end, I mean it's like that you just you walk, you walk through to the other side. There's no pain. And I think the thing you said with deep impact and sort of the thing a bit like that recent film Don't Look Up, where they sort of try and have this like you know, nice meal and ape like domestic reality stuff like that. Is I find it's so tragic because there's no choice

in that they've accepted their fate. And I think that that's really moving. But I think I would need I would need to be like I'm done now, I'm ready, And I think that that's my greatest like existential crisis, is that like I might be ripped from life before it's time by faring to death. And this is your you'll worry about death is you could costas and far too soon. Yeah, that is that. How you worry about this? Do you do? You? How often are you worrying about constant? Really?

Has it always been that way? No? I had a bit of a reckoning with it in my early twenties where I was like, oh shit, this this actually won't last forever. And I think my issue is is that I just I enjoy everything so much. I just have I was constantly having such a nice time, and you know, even when bad things happen, I'm sort of like the

good times will come again. And then it's like one day, one day, the good times won't one day it will just my time will be done and I won't like get to, you know, hang out and do a podcast with Brett, you know, get locked in at ed Gamble's hotel room. The greatest tragedy to me is that one day I won't know who wins the Premier League. Yeah, can I ask? Unless it's too dark, and if it is,

we can move on. You don't want to talk about what did something happen in your early twenty when you say you had this reckoning or is it just a thought nothing like traumatic or anything it was. I think I had that that sort of realization that humans might sort of be grinding ourselves into like an apocalypse or

like an early like an early ending to humanity. And I think the thing that I always took solace in was that even if I died, the thing that I was part of the team that I was on humans, even if I wasn't remembered individually, we would always live on. And the thing, yeah, that the thing that I was part of would always be remembered. And I think when I had this existential anxiety that like, one day the

human race might not be here. Who's going to remember all of the things we did, all of those amazing things, that was when I had my sort of personal crisis of like, oh fuck, this is finite, you know. So I think it was like the macro level of realization influenced the micro level of like my mortality. Interesting, what do you think happens when you die? Nothing? What do you think there's an after lay? No, I don't mean

there's an afterlife. I think it's just a sort of return to dust, you know, with no consciousness, Like in terms of what you're experiencing. It's you walk into that wall of sea cuffs, sneez and fut and then done, black out gone. Yeah. I think it's like just sleeping for sleeping. I'd dreamed task bake a cigar last night. I mean that's not very cool. Actually, Nah, do you think there's an afterlife? I do? Yeah, really well, I

don't think that there's nothing. I think that whatever it is, I you know, what, if you're on Took the film, I think it is what Cell says it is the Pixar film, so so right, right right, I think I haven't actually seen it. I think I purposefully have sort of stayed clear of it because I have such like a essential anxiety around death. If I could, like it could just catch me at the wrong time and send me spiraling, so stuff like that, I'm always a bit

careful of. I understand that the message of cell you seem to have already picked up, though, so perhaps you're okay, okay, maybe it would be helpful to me think so yeah, well listen, big news, Chloe Petts. There is a heaven and you know well it is. I'm not even asking the question, and no one else you know what heaven is. It's Sealhurst Park. It's Salhurst Park and you are welcome there, and the whole team are there. They are delighted to see you. They want to know your thoughts on every

game they've ever played. They want to talk to you about everything, but they also they want to thank you. They also want to talk to you about your life through film. First question they ask you, this is the manager, says Chloe Petts. What's the first film you remember seeing? Well? When I was like really small, maybe like four or five or something. I got obsessed with the film Sleeping Beauty, and I think I watched it every day for two months, and then the Disney film rather than the weird sexy

sex film. I don't think it was the weird sexy sex film Brett when I was four, but you know, it could have been a responsible barenting. Yeah, this could have been where sex SENSI what's the weird sexy sex Sleeping Beauty? There's a weird film with I haven't seen it, but it is about a sort of man who pays a woman to sleep and he watches her and maybe does stuff with that. I don't know. But his thing is she has to be sleep okay, and so he wakes. Instead of waking with a kiss, he waits her with

her willie. I don't even know if he does really just watches it. I haven't seen it, so I can't speak to it, but I do know it was. It sounded idem was considered, but I also thought it exists. Good luck to it. My watch list thus far, His Soul and sexy Sleeping Beauty. That's that's my double header for this evening. No, it's the Disney film. I was genuinely too young to sort of to be able to remember what I was getting from it. And I also think I can't. Yeah, I can't really remember the plot

of it that much. So I was that young that even though I watched it every day for two months, it sort of isn't there deeply, And like my memory, I sort of retroactively have to think what I was getting from it. And the scene that sticks in my mind is the princes chopping through the forest of like thorny things. And I think I was quite taken by like the notion of like very beautiful men saving women. That's that's bad, isn't it. I don't see why that

is bad. What's wrong with a beautiful man saving a women? Yeah, by kissing her on the lips without asking Yes. The way he goes about it isn't ideal, sure, I think I just I just try nudging at first. You're right, you're a baby. Wake up dream. You're dreaming of cigars again? Come on, come on, you're having you're having a bad dream about cigars. If you if you wake up, you can have an actual real cigarette. Just one less wake up I've got I've got back at twenty I got

back of twenty camels. We'll go down the turret and we'll smoke them outside. Listen, Honestly, I don't want to be like guilt you into this, but I've just chopped up so many thoughts to get it. Why can't I'm actually bleeding? Can you just this is open your eyes? I am a beautiful man, apparently, come on, I'm stunning and I've got cigarettes. Okay, yeah, but that's probably what he should have done, but instead he just went for a smacker on the lips. Weird when you think about it,

ain't it did he use? He didn't? I mean, it's not, well, it is a proper kiss. Thinking about it, isn't like a little just a peck. He really holds it. I wonder why why what the you know, etymology or history of like true love's first kisses? Where has that come from? Why are we so obsessed with that? And but I guess it's probably like to do with like chastity and go on and like saving yourself for true love's first kiss, like don't waste it? Do you know what I mean?

It's another form of sort of keeping women's control. Yeah, control, So we should in fact kiss kiss everyone. Yeah, we should be kissing and everyone true loves two thousand, six hundred and forty nine First Kiss. Yeah, I totally agree. Did you watch this on your own? Do you have siblings? Did you watch this with your family? No? I watched this with my mum. I think it was like when dad was at work. My brother had just started school, so it was just me at home on my own

with my mum. And then I remember we'd like, I'm pretty sure that i'd make her sort of act out the film after we'd watch it with like my barbies and action action men and stuff, which is quite like it's quite like a psychologically like interesting thing. Why was it that that was? Because I can't remember why, as I say, why I was so interested in it, but

it grabbed me. And I also think like the esthetic is like there's something like a little bit uncanny to those old Yeah yeah, yeah, those old Disney And I think I found I've always liked films that are sort of a bit like quietly haunting, like a bit odd, like I like, I really love like Coraline stuff in that sort of a stat where it's a bit like a bit weird, you know what their way they animated those films. Have you ever seen it where they have

like the five plates of glass? I don't think I have no, So there's maybe part of the uncanny thing is there's almost like a three D effect they would

have the camera over. I'm trying to describe it so that if you're listening, this will makes sense that the camera over like five plates of glass with a gap between them, and on the first plate of glass might be the trees, and on the second plate of glass might be hit, and then the third plate of glass might be the moon and behind that cloud, so that shooting through those glass gives you a sense of depth and three D. Do you know what I mean? That's incredible.

That's really cool, particularly like when you know that in relation to like what the film's about, and it's like essentially the end just becomes empty. So to like have those like multi layers just like stripped of anything. Oh, really cool. What is the film that scared you the most? Do you like being scared? Yes? I do like getting

really scared. If you could, if you could do some if you could do some tiny booze during this, then I love it, But not too hard because I might sneeze off, but I'm already did, so I guess you

can't die twice. Yeah, well, yes I do. I think. Um, latterly, I've really enjoyed being scared, and I think when I was younger, I equated being scared with gore, so I had like such a low threshold for gore that even if Mum or Dad sort of channel flicked onto casualty, Oh no, I can't see that Gray's knee, but I sort of open myself up to it. But I guess sort of this new wave of like what what do they even call it? Like I think it's quite black

psychological horror and stuff like that. I think they call it elevated elevated horror, which feels like so like snobby, given that you know, horror has always been great now that I sort of have looked into it at night about it. But yes, so latterly, I really do love it and I couldn't sort of tie it down. But things that I've loved, the Babba Da get out and ass hereditary, and then I think sort of getting a ground in that and sort of working out like the

formula to fear. I think sometimes if I need the sting taken out of it because I'm getting too scared. Then I can be like, oh, the sensation that I'm having is like just the different side of like the laughter coin, because it's that like tension tension release thing. And I think even stuff like then watching stuff like Midsummer after watching Hereditary, I was just like laughing the whole way through Midsummer because I was like, Oh, this is like a sort of parody or pastiche of like

like how far can we push this like crazyness? Yeah? Do you know the thing I have? I'm sorry if I've said this before and might have done, but not for like hud is it rap? No? Do you know this about Midsummer is that the festival that they're at in Midsummer is a I believe it's a nine day festival, and the end of the film is only like day four, so you're sort of left with Jesus Christ, what the fuck happens on day eight? I did not know that.

That's so cool? Yeah, it's cool. Yeah, And because I guess it's like that that ramping up that I'm relenting this like another thing happened is so yeah. The I guess the gag of they're still being five more days of that is really funny? Is that your answer? Midsummer? No, I think I wasn't scaring at Midsummer. I think maybe like the Babba Duck, probably because I guess it's that

like quite sweet portrayal of grief. And again, esthetically, I think it's really beautifully and smartly shot in like a really purposeful way. Like sometimes I think filmmakers will choose a certain esthetic because it looks nice, but this felt like it really complimented the content and enriched the content.

And I think I'm a massive Mark Kermode fan. He's like my favorite, I think man because he does that thing that I think all men should do, which is like he'll sort of give a review of a film and then he'll be like, but what do I know, I'm just a straight white man. I think that's great. And I recently like he's been talking about being in CBT on Kermode and Mayo. He's been talking about being in CBT for his anxiety, and I'm like, babes, don't

fix the anxiety, Like that's what's making you. That's that's what's making you sort of a nice white man. Is like the like the feeling of doubt keep it, but he always talks about and I guess this is like the elevated horror or like psychological horror trope. Of the scariest things are the things that we sort of recognize

in ourselves, or like recognizing inexperiences that we've had. And I think the Babba Duck is like an amazing example of that, of like manifesting physically a psychological anxiety that we have. And I think what I loved about it is like, do you ever see the Babba Duck in film? Because I know that you do in the short film, but I can't remember if you're doing the long film. It's a great question. I think you see do you ever see it fully? Maybe you never see it completely fully,

but you see bits of it. Yeah, But I think that's so smart of just like almost like micro dosing or like edging us with the babbadock is like, that's what's scary about it is you don't need to see the thing that's just off camera, because the human mind is going to create something worse than you ever could. And in the short film, you do see the Babbaduck fully, and I think that's amazing because it looks so stupid and so silly, this thing that has been terrorizing them.

And it really works because she's going, I'm not scared of you anymore. You get out of this room, you stop terrorizing me and my son, and you never do this again, and you can live downstairs. We can live in harmony, but you're not going to terrorize me. And the fact that we then that's the moment that we see this Babba duck and we just go, you're laughable now is such a strong moment in film. I think I've got little tingles even thinking about it. Yeah, that's great,

that's great. What is the film that made you cry the most? Clarie pets Brett. Am I a crier? Yeah, I'm a big crier. I won't stop crying. Yeah. Sometimes it's not even because I feel sad that I cry. It's if I can't process the beauty of something. It was sort of manifests crying. And I had that with the film Lay Miserab when I was in my early twenties. It came out when I was at UNI. From the moment that Jean Valjean was given the sort of goods from the church till the end of the film, I sobbed.

And I saw that film three times in the cinema and every time it was the same thing. I was just sobbing. And I don't know what you think of that film, but I think it's brilliant and I loved the smallness of it in comparison to the stage version. I think that's the way to adapt sort of quite an emotional musical. Is he paired everything down and the big moments were on the actor's faces and they were singing it live. It wasn't like it was put in post as thought. It was brilliant and all of that

content gets me. I think maybe that's the way I'd like to die, dying for my cause, dying during a revolution, yea fever revolution. What's your what's your cause that you're doing for? Maybe a nice, nice, really passionate about this nice bit of we will fight for nice bit of climate activism. There you go, lovely, Yeah, you're right about that. It's it is a good The move on the Lame Mids film that you can't do in the stage show

is you did it massive close ups. That was the movie's like's what you can't see if you're watching the stage is their face is really really close. And I think that's what I find most affecting is I don't find like big bold breast stuff. It's it's yeah, when you can see the like the raw, raw emotion. Can I just gives some honorable mentions to the other films that have made me cry the most, because my dad laughed at this quite a lot. I won't see Muma

mere too with my dad, nothing wrong with that. And my mum, my mum was next to me, and that was what got me because spoiler another spoiler, Meryl Streep is both a slag and she dies right, but my mum was sat next dead slag like, mum was sat there next to me. A man of sea Free's coming onto the screen getting married and my Mum's not there. Of course I'm going to absolutely, like, you know, wet myself from the eyes. Yeah. But then I turned to my dad and I said, that is overtaken as the

most I've ever cried at a film. And he said, what was the first, What was the most you've ever cried at a film before? And I said Twelve Years of Slave, which, as a sort of dicorsopy of films I've cried at, is there are on different levels, you know, more moved by it dead slag than the history of slavery in Americas. For you. That's Clow Petts for you. What is a film? You love it, people don't like it, it's not critically acclaimed, but you love it. I've got

two two ones for this. I've got a scape plan. Who's seen that? One? Great answer? Great answer? Schwart the Negus Thelone Prison, It's great. I've seen it so many times. It's just thrilling and exciting and camp. I love when like big manly men films are meant to be bigger manly, but they're so big a mally that they become like so camp to escape plan? What was your other? Jupiter Ascending? Great? I fucking love the way Eddie ramyin choose the scenery in that film. I just think he's so yeah. I

just think big swing. Yeah. And why did no one stop him? Because they knew that it's great. Yeah, that's a film full of big swings. Though so many Channing takes a fox dog or something, you know what I mean. Yeah, there's a lot of telling not showing of it. Is it me lacunish? The Bee is just following her because she's like the Queen, great, wonderful, and I think films like that that I know have been a sort of

roundly panned. I have to put my sort of critical faculties aside and just be like, did I check my watch at any point in that film? And was I just having the most thrilling, brilliant time ever? Yes, is the answer. And I get that with all of the Workowski films, I'm like, I will one hundred percent goes here every Workowski film in the cinema because I'm like, this is, yeah, this is gonna be fun. It's the same thing with like M Night Shamalan. I'm never unentertained.

Sometimes I'm like what the fuck, but I'm always I will always go and see them. I liked Old. I really liked Old. I thought it's so many good ideas in it, and he's a good director. Maybe too many good ideas. I think you've got too many ideas, mate, rain them in, you save them, saving for different films. It was like it was sort of like, oh, we're doing We're doing this now, like only three minutes of past M Night. What is a film you used to love?

You loved it? But you've watched it recently and you did not love it anymore for whatever reason. Could be political, could be personal, could be you've just got older. What is it? But I honestly, this this one I found so hard. I don't it's good, have a good change. I'm unchanging. No, I don't have a good answer for you. I do think one of the films that I watched recently was just like, what the actual fuck? Why did this get all of the acclaim? Is heat big big talk.

It's really big talk, and I feel like reticent to say it because I feel like it's okay. But it's one of those things where if you say it, the film bros will come at you on Twitter and be like, it's one of the best films whole world. We don't. I don't. I don't have film bro. Listen, it's don't worry. Just little gentlemen, just gentle gentlemen, men, gentle women and people who I've never you don't get a film. But I hate on this. Okay, you're safe. He yeah. I

think it's my issue with it is. Thus, I was really perturbed by the display of masculinity in it and all of the sort of like classic tropes around, like you know, beautiful women as love interests and like I'm pretty sure I can't really remember, but like dead Women, the way that they were treating that, I was just like, this is fucked up. And I get that it was meant to be sort of like a criticism and like not a satire, but like a sort of look at

that society and critique it. But I do sometimes think there's an element of even like displaying it on screen in that way is glamorizing it. I hear you, totally hear you, and I wouldn't argue against that. I think there's always that danger of any anything. It was the big criticism with Wolf Wolf Street is that it's anti what it's showing, but it's showing it and it looks so fan looks and yeah, yeah, I get it. I

hear you. I think I listened to a big interview with Michael Man about heat recently on the Mark Marin podcast, and Michael Man is so intelligent and put so much thought into it, and he is based on real people, and so it's I hear you. I think it's a very and he's exploring all the things that you're talking about.

But you're right, he also makes it look fucking cool. Yeah. Yeah, I guess it's that like argument of how something like exists in its reception, because it's like, yeah, I don't know, I don't know why this is popped into my head, but like Al Murray is like, yeah, the great one

of the greatest comic characters of all time. But some people, you know, will sit there and think it's what he's saying is dead serious that he does think making Marcus the root of all evil, And so yeah, I guess I guess my discomfort sits in the reception of it and the way that film ros might be like, yeah, this looks fucking great. But maybe I think I'll go back to it and maybe I'll listen to that big interview and we can do we can do a reunion in ten years time. Okay, what is the film that

means the most to you? Not because the film itself is any good, maybe, but the experience you had seeing it makes special. I actually had one idea for this, and then I I've forgotten. What is that film called Rocks. It's called Rocks. Rocks. It's so good, isn't it. Yeah, I never get I never go to the toilet during a film because because it's rude, and then I'm like

a completist. If I feel like I've gone to the toilet, then i feel like I've missed it, and I'm like, well, we need to start again, because I don't know what's happened, but I won't see Rocks, and I've subsequently watched it since, so I know what happens. I know what I missed. But it was because it was like my third date with my girlfriend, and I got so nervous about trying to hold her hand that I had to go to the toilet and shut myself out, and then when I got back, I was like, I can't do it. I

can't do it, and then she took my hand. It was really nice because I'm used to sort of I've always been in relationships where it's been messing around with like gender, gender and stuff. Has it's been more like the masculine one and the feminine one, so I've always like made the first move, and it was just really nice to like be like, oh, she really likes me. She's held my hand so nice, and the film was great,

Are you still together? We said, afriend, Yeah, that is a very nice story, Clay Pets, thank you really good. I hope you didn't kiss d during the film though, because people kissing in films is like, I'm a completeist. If you kissed in the film, then you have to restart the film. I think you're right. And also I wouldn't have felt comfortable doing big snugging and watching loads

of teenagers. Oh yeah, these these these traumatized teens are really ami going yeah, yeah, let's kiss, Okay, yeah, big moves move taking taking your lady to the cinema as well, because how much of the film are you taking in? How much of how much of your brain is just wondering worrying about holding her hands? You know what I mean? Well, that's the thing. But that's why I've had to go back and watch it and like it very much stood up, Like I think it's quality. I think it's really good.

And I really love those films where I'm pretty sure shes got like non trained actors and stuff from yes it did, yeah, from the backgrounds of that they were depicting. And I think that that's always really cool when you see the lines of like fiction and reality are blurred and you get like these really sort of like quite honest, truthful performances. Yeah, it's great. What is the film you most relate to? Possibly Ladybird? You know that's also my answer,

and I believe this is answer. Really, Yeah, you can have Ladybird correct? Sorry if that iver? Yeah? Is there a correct answer to all of these? Yeah? Are you might give me at the end like twelve half twelve? Well done? Yeah? Yeah, I am. I think it's wonderful. I think Greta Gerwig like it is one of our best filmmakers currently living, and her over will be like

huge and so remembered. I think that feeling of like just from the opening Secrets where they're arguing in the car is something that I just recognize in like teens and their mothers, and it's so beautifully observed of just like what were we even arguing about? We're just arguing and it does it doesn't matter the content. It's just I'm going to bicker because you are this authority figure that is actively working to ruin my life. And yeah,

it's just so beautifully touching. What's your what's what's your take on it? I just just really felt like Ladybirds every every aspect of her. I was like, yeah, I get it. And it's always the thing for any rights or anything, is that it's so specific. It's specific to the town she's from, it's specific to the year, to the music, to everything. And the more specific you had, the more universal, as in it I am not from there and I am not a girl. But boy, did

I think, yeah, this is me. That's great. I mean, and I love that. I was going to say, like it felt like I'm quite singular, and it's depiction of teenage girls, but I'm so glad that that sort of transcends the sort of gender binary. And also like, I think says lovely things about you, a niche that you are like soft soft little boys, lady soft little ladybirds.

But even that thing of like her wanted to be called ladybird is like so great of like I want, I want to put words on what I feel, but I don't quite have the words, so I have to So I've just I've chosen ladybird feels right expressing the inexplicable. God, it's brilliant. The end is so brilliant. Anyway, is the sexiest film you've ever seen. It's Portrait of a Lady

on Fire. Yeah, yeah, Forward Thwarted Lesbianism delicious. The thing about that one is Selene CMR is, like, I think probably my favorite filmmaker at the moment, and I think the moment for me about that is because it's all about like the female gaze and the female gaze like out of the view of the male gaze, Like can they sort of create this like female utopia And there's like this all of this tension of like looking and being observed and not realizing that you're being observed, but

realizing you're observing all of that kind of stuff. The moment that I found that, you know, the building tension of sexiness, like it's it's building, it's building, it's building that. Are they going to kiss? Aren't they? It wasn't released in that film when they kissed. There's a moment when they're walking down to the beach together and I'm pretty sure it's um, oh what's her name? Adelha now reaches out and takes Noami Merlan's hand and they just brush hands.

And for me that was like, oh, they're like, oh, I've just come moment, you know, it was great, It was amazing, Yeah, wonderful film. There's a there's a subcategory traveling bone is worrying? Why do film you found a rousing you weren't sure you should? And is it rocks? Yeah? Yeah, traumatized teams do it for me? Now? Is there a no context? Feels to be buried with Twitter account? Because if there is, I think it might that might be a quote one there there isn't your You're safe now,

no film brands and no no context. First ever sex stream was about Arsula from The Little Mermaid. Nice choice, interesting, tells us a lot. What does it tell us? Tells us your type? Big, big lady octopus, Big lady octopus. Yeah, that's when I walked through the big wave to die. That's what I think is on the other side, big lady octopus waiting for me, big ladys belter as well. I just think she I don't know, I think there's um she's just she's funny. She tell me what to do,

do you know what I mean? I wouldn't have to think about it, and there's like a safety in that. Yeah, she'd make sort of deals with you that slightly turns out to be sort of a bit tricker. Is a bit tricky. You don't realize there was a sub. There was a subclose to the deal I just made with you that I hadn't really thought about it. But it's hot, so happy I'll let it go. Yeah, you know, who need who needs their own voice? A hundred percent? What

is objectively the greatest film of all time? I can't believe you've asked me this question. I just it's a simple question. Objectively, it's not your favorite. It's the greatest pinnacle of cinema. You must get all of the generic answers to this. You know, your Godfather's, you're, you're that

sort of thing. You're good fellas. For me, I think seven it's got everything, and I think even in the like it feels like it's kind of like one of those films like pre the Internet, almost like not pre the Internet, but like pre the Internet in its form now where they were able like free the way that they do like pr and advertising for films, that they could keep Kevin Spacey off the list of stars in it so that when Kevin Spacey and I didn't know he was in it. When he turned up, I was like,

you fucking what, it's Kevin fucking Spacey? Are you serious? And like it's very rare that films can do that now, because I feel like we've seen so much of the mechanics of how films work, and it's like it's like it's almost like when I saw like to Ryland for the first time, I was like, I can't fucking believe that this is crazy. But then when I saw A Memento, I was like, oh, yeah, I kind of saw that happen coming, because like I knew sort of how twists

work now, whereas Seven like profoundly like grab me. And it also had that quality of I'm not looking at my watch, I'm just I come on, but I'm barreling through the next thing. And then I think the greatest endings of all are the endings that you don't want. You absolutely it can't be that, it can't be, but they are so inevitable in the world of the film that they couldn't be anything else. And Seven is the master of that of like, oh no, it can't it can't be ahead a in the box, but there's no

other way of them getting out of it. Oh wonderful, brilliant, brilliant answer, it's never come up. You are correct. What is the film you could or have what's the most over and over again. Well, this is I'm going to go a little a little gie indie for you. Okay, have you seen the film back a Rout? Is that the police in a nightclub film? No, I don't think so. It's Brazilian. There might have been some police in the nightclub,

but I don't think so. And it basically starts in this like Brazilian town where that like the dam's been blocked, so water is not getting to the town and this mayre sort of coming around and he's like going, look, vote for me, I'll sort of the water, but that this town is just like completely suffering, but it's like got this interesting vibe of like sort of like community,

like quite sex positive in like a weird way. And you think it's sort of going to be one film which is like this political look at you know, the political term or in Brazil at the moment, and then

it turns into a different film. It shifts into a different gear where basically like these white people turn up in the town and that there's like other things going on where like the town now can't access Wi Fi, like they're sort of off the grid, and they like disappear on a map, and then basically it turns out that this town that like a group of rich white people have paid to hunt them, and it's the slow

revelation of that. Again, it's sort of quite blindsided me, and I don't want to give away the ending, but it satisfied me in a way that I need endings to satisfy me for me to like be able to watch that film over and over and over again. Like I don't think I could watch seven over and over and over again because I couldn't cope with the unrelenting like oh fuck her head still in the box. Whereas this one, I'm like, I think this is going to turn out all right, really interesting answer. Now we be

two negative Chloe Pets. It would be quick. What's the worst film you've ever seen? We're not going to be quick. I'm fucking fuming about this one. Annet, how are you well? You have to tell me why you love a Net. I was so angry about it. I felt like I felt like the sort of can like the film critics were gaslight in me. Listen as someone who likes the Wachowskis is a Net is big swing after big swing after big swing. Here's a wooden baby puppet. Here's Adam

Driver singing into Marion Cotti has vagina. Here's everyone addressing camera. Here's the writers popping up at the beginning. Here's a fake see. Here's a floating wooden baby in the sky. It's a swing swing swing field. Nah, it just like it's a fucking like like murder fantasy. Why did Marion Cottiard have to be like killed off so fucking early? And then it's just like she's completely voiceless. Listen, I oppose eyes for this, but I'm going to have to

disagree with you. She's not voiceless. Her voice is the whole is that it lives on through kill but her voices. Liza goes, I will haunt you, Henry, I will haunt you, and her voices all through the film, and then the wooden baby has her voice. The point is you can't get rid of her voice. You've tried to be Why does I just hated it? I just thought was fucking shit. And I can see that I can see that what you've said is right, but I was just like this

is like I'm angry at this. I just I have to sit through this bullshit and like the like the campus was just a bit wide of the mark, Like when she gets to she's singing at like that big sports event or something, and then she she goes like, my daddy killed people. Shut up, I don't care about you. And I think Kermode actually loved it, and he said

that he was. I think he maybe this is why I've read it in a different way, because I think if I'd gone in with the expectation of what you'd said, then maybe I would have enjoyed it a bit more because I would have watched it a bit more tongue in cheek. But he read it as a very serious film, and you know, a very sort of He was like, you know, even though she was a puppet, I sort of connected with her and like believed in this relationship,

and I just didn't believe in it whatsoever. And he also said like the songs were like earworms, and I'm sort of like, well, you know, I know a song that we'll get on your nerves is also an earworm. It doesn't make it good. You're sort of ramming your message down my throat anyway. Pissed me off. Sorry, you're in comedy, You're very funny. What's the film that made you laugh at most. Oh, I think I'm doing a companion piece here. Super Bad and book Smart in sort

of really really good. I was super Bad so late and I was like obviously knew loads of the coats from it and was sort of ready to be quite unimpressed and just be like, oh, you know, this is something that you know, teenagers just quote at each other and it's not clever or funny, but the mucloving scene where he gets there, it's just so funny. I was like,

really sort of uncontrollable, uncontrollably crime of laughter. Book Smart, I think it's like, you know, the girl's version of it, And I just love their relationships so much where they're like they're just so into each other, and I think that's very recognizable for females and women friendships, and that sort of had me like rolling with laughter at So for me, I think I need to be like rolling with laughter through the whole film and also be able

to remember like really clear set pieces. So I thought it was so smart when it went into like stop motion animation when they were on drugs or something, and then when they come out of it and you see them like walking as themselves like they're still in stop motion. And then also like when Caitlyn Diaver's character is in the bathroom of that really hot girl and she accidentally like puts puts her finger in the wrong heart. It's just so funny. Yeah, it's a fucking great film, that is.

Chloe Pets. You have been a dream, a dream in which I spoke as the girl lovely. You've also got forty points forty Yes. However, when you gathered all your loved ones, was a big wave coming, and you said,

let's go for a swim. And you walked towards this big wave, and you all looked at having smiled, and as you did, you sneezed, farted and can't and your loved ones were cheeps crust and you laughed so much that you took as the wave hit you, you took such an in gulp of water it filled immediately filled your lungs. Your lungs exploded, your heart exploded as you

were dead. Anyway, I'm walking past the beach, you know what I'm like, I've got a coffee with me as per and I see your bloated corpse absolutely filled with water. It's about five times the size and I was expected just rocks up on the beach like a whale, like a dead whale, and I head over to it. I'm like, oh, Chloe, pets, this is this is not what I was expecting. And so I get your loved as none of them died, and they said, can you can you out with this?

They go yeah, yeah, sure, They'll get bits of wood. They stab stabby stab to water gushing out everywhere, all this. Anyway, we chop you up. I do what I can, put everything in the coffin. But there's more of you than I was expecting. What we're all the seaweed and the sand he's taken in, and the other fish, and there's a giant sexy lady octopus that crawls out. Guys, well, that was fine, and things heads off and makes some deals. Anyway,

you're in the coffin. It's absolutely jammed in there. There's only enough room in this coffin for me to slip one DVD into the side for you to take across to the other side. And in Heaven at Salhis Park, it's movie night every night, and one night it's your movie night. What film are you taking to show? Crystal Palace when it's movie night, your movie night, Ladybird, Ladybird, great choice, and all the Crystal Palace tam are going to be like I relate, I relate, my name is

and I relate. Chloe Pets, is there anything you would like to tell people to go to to look out for. I would love for people to come to my tour show. It starts at the Soho Theater in early January of twenty twenty three, and then I'm going sort of all around the country from February to April. And I think it would be really, really fun and I would love to for your little woke gentlemen, your soft ladies, and your rock hard non binary people to come and see it.

I think that they all shit. Thanks Chloe Pets. I have loved this. Thank you for your time. Have a wonderful life. Thank you, mister. Good day to you. Good day. So that was episode two hundred and twenty five. Head over to the Patreon at patreon dot com. Forward slash Brett Dalstein for the extra twenty minutes of chat, secret beginnings, ending and video with Chloe. Go to Apple Podcast. Give

us advised rating, but don't talk about the show. Talk about a film it means the most of you and why just for my neighbor Mare, and she loves reading it. It makes her cry. Thank you so much everyone for listening. I hope that everything is good in your world. Thank you so much to Chloe for doing the show. Thanks to Scruby's Pitten, the Distraction Pieces Network. Thanks to Buddy Peace for producing it. Thanks to Ake Us for hosting it. Thanks to Adam Richardson for the graphics and Lisa light

Them for the photography. Come and join me next week for another cracking guest. It's a very good one. Next week. You would like that one, Yes, you are so. That is it for now. In the meantime, have a lovely week, and please, now more than ever, be excellent to each others. Money was uncrastety act was a crust money bass a crust money