#247: Last week, we began a vital conversation about the mixed nervous system state of functional freeze: what it looks like in practice and how commonly it shows up for those of us prone to emotional outsourcing. This week in part two, we're asking the question: how did it get this way? You'll hear multiple real-life examples from my own life and coaching work of experiences that lead to functional freeze. It's so easy to beat yourself up when you realize you're in the pattern, but functional f...
Nov 09, 2023•39 min
#246: This week, we’re taking a deep dive into a topic I can’t believe I haven’t already discussed on the show – the nervous system state of functional freeze. It’s part and parcel of the emotional outsourcing experience. So what does it mean and why do we find ourselves in it? Join me today to discover what the nervous system state of functional freeze entails, and why those of us with emotional outsourcing tendencies find ourselves chronically stuck in it. You’ll also hear how it can manifest ...
Nov 02, 2023•44 min
#245: This week, I’m re-sharing one of my favorite episodes from the podcast archive all about how regret is self-abandonment. The regret cycle is one we lean on and keep choosing for understandable reasons, but it’s time to understand why and how we can drop it because the truth is regret is not the solution to the future you want. Hear why living in regret is a form of self-abandonment, and how it doesn’t save us from repeating old patterns. I’m highlighting why we think regret is protective, ...
Oct 26, 2023•35 min
#244: This week, we are reviewing one of my absolute favorite topics to geek out on: polyvagal theory. Polyvagal theory is an incredibly helpful way to better understand our lived experiences and nervous systems, which is why it’s one of the main tenets of all the work I do across my various programs. I’m sharing how polyvagal theory is an important vessel for getting to know ourselves better, why learning to regulate our nervous system matters, and how to start seeing where you can drop guilt, ...
Oct 19, 2023•45 min
#243: Do you struggle to set boundaries with the people in your life? Are you prone to prioritizing everyone else’s well-being first, often not even realizing you have needs of your own? Are you in constant hyperdrive mode, striving to do more and more, only to eventually burn yourself out? Join me today to learn where overfunctioning comes from and how it manifests in our lives. I’m showing you how it not only takes a toll on our relationships, but our physical, mental, and emotional health too...
Oct 12, 2023•42 min
#242: Last week, we talked all about feeling our feelings somatically and the myriad of reasons doing so can help us live richer, more fulfilling lives with more connection to ourselves and our loved ones. You heard in detail why we don’t feel our feelings, and in part two today, we’re exploring the how-to of feeling your feelings somatically. Tune in this week to discover how to begin feeling your feelings somatically. I’m showing you why practicing this creates capacity in your nervous system ...
Oct 05, 2023•31 min
#241: “Feeling your feelings” is a term you may have seen all over social media, and it can be an incredibly supportive and loving thing to do. However, as we do here on Feminist Wellness, we also need to proceed with caution and care when it comes to addressing the emotions that live within us. Join me this week to discover why you may not habitually feel your feelings, the common fears that may arise about doing so, and how to gain a different way of relating to your emotions. I’m also diving ...
Sep 28, 2023•30 min
#240: Offering unnecessarily exhaustive explanations is a very smart coping mechanism we develop, usually in childhood. However, while overexplaining can provide short-term relief, it also reinforces the very emotional outsourcing cycles we’re trying to escape. Join me today to discover the common origin stories that lead to the habit of overexplaining, how it affects our nervous system, and what we can do to start breaking free from this cycle. I’m sharing some of the science behind why we feel...
Sep 21, 2023•37 min
#239: I’m speaking to coach, three-time best-selling author, and all-around badass Andrea Owen. Andrea helps smart, high-achieving women let go of five default behaviors that leave them feeling terrible so they can engage in better coping mechanisms around shame. She’s here to introduce us to the shame work she writes about in her book, How to Stop Feeling Like Sh*t. Join us as Andrea and I explore the wound of shame and how our emotional outsourcing behaviors act as an armor to help us avoid sh...
Sep 14, 2023•51 min
#238: We tend to look for other people to be the main attraction in our lives, to save us, and to be our cake. Tune in to learn the importance of embodying your own cakefulness, and how waiting for someone else to be your cake might be the root cause of your relational pain. You’ll hear why you are the main dessert, how to let everyone else be a delightful addition, and why your whole life can change in every possible way when you step into being the cake. Get full show notes and more informatio...
Sep 07, 2023•34 min
#237: With transitions come grief, and whether it relates to death or non-death losses, it’s a topic we don’t talk about enough. Tune in today to hear three brilliant experts on grief, Briana Simmons, Charlene Lam, and Krista St-Germain, share their expertise on why we suck at grief, and how we can begin grieving in a nervous-system-based and somatically-embodied way. You’ll hear what we need to increase our capacity to grieve, why this process will be unique to each and every person, and how we...
Aug 31, 2023•46 min
#236: Whether you resonate with the habit of offering unsolicited advice or you’ve been on the receiving end of it, it can have significant implications on our relationships and be a wicked bummer for everyone involved. Join me this week as I unravel the threads of unsolicited advice in the name of nurturing healthier, more authentic, and loving connections. You’ll hear why it can cause huge ruptures in our relationships, why it’s the antithesis of interdependent living, and remedies, from the l...
Aug 24, 2023•31 min
#235: Were you raised by emotionally immature parents? Do you have a feeling you might be an emotionally immature parent? This week, learn how to show up as the intentional and authentic person you want to be, despite your parenting experience. You’ll hear why emotionally immature parents get to be that way, and my process for bringing in compassionate healing, whether you were raised by emotionally immature parents or want to address your own emotional immaturity as you parent your kiddos. Get ...
Aug 17, 2023•37 min
#234: The world we live in makes it pretty challenging for us to feel truly well. When we constantly receive messages about how we’re broken, wrong, or need to change, and all of that is layered with the anxiety of needing to get it all perfect, what we can do to feel better? This week, I’m speaking to holistic psychiatrist and author Ellen Vora MD. She's showing us why true anxiety can be a great teacher, and how to take kitten steps towards feeling better. You’ll hear why a gentle, grace-givin...
Aug 10, 2023•49 min
#233: I'm getting my astrocartography chart read by psychic medium, astrologer, and intuitive energy healer, Steffi, a.k.a The Spirit Sis. Astrocartography is an ancient medium that Steffi uses in her practice to help, inform, and support her clients. She uncovers places on the globe where you should travel to, live near, find inspiration from, as well as places to avoid altogether. Steffi is walking us through the complex field of study that is astrocartography and how using this tool can be in...
Aug 03, 2023•47 min
#232: I'm joined by the amazing Trudi Lebrón this week. She’s an author, coach, and consultant for equity-centered businesses, and she’s here to highlight the importance of building a critical equity lens when moving from a codependent existence into interdependence. We discuss how we learn our emotional outsourcing tendencies, and why we need diversity, equity, and inclusion in all helping industries. Trudi is sharing her thoughts on feeling othered, remedies for when your identity and worth ar...
Jul 27, 2023•43 min
#231: Discover how to remedy the vicious cycle of frustration and resentment around your unmet needs. I’m sharing some of the indirect ways we attempt to get our needs met, why these strategies don’t serve us or those we love, and six ways we can start voicing our needs in loving ways while honoring the other person’s reply. Get full show notes and more information here: https://victoriaalbina.com/231
Jul 20, 2023•27 min
#230: This week, we explore the beauty of having needs. We will delve into the stories we tell ourselves about our needs, which often make it challenging for us to express them. We will also discuss the common issues of over-giving while neglecting our own needs, why we tend to downplay or apologize for our needs, and how to start understanding and voicing our own needs. Get full show notes and more information here: https://victoriaalbina.com/230...
Jul 13, 2023•23 min
#229: To illuminate the ripple effects that exploring your sexuality can have on your life, I’m sitting down with Danielle Savory and Sonia Wright, MD. Danielle is a sex coach who brings in her background in neuroscience to help her clients understand how their brains impact their bodies, and Sonia is The Midlife Sex Coach for Women who helps women have the best life in and out of the bedroom. Danielle and Sonia share their insights on the problems that can occur when your sexuality is focused o...
Jul 06, 2023•45 min
#228: I’m joined by podcast host, coach, writer, and author of Needy: How to Advocate for Your Needs and Claim Your Sovereignty , Mara Glatzel. She works with people to grow from self-abandonment to self-partnership by supporting them in reclaiming their needs, and we’re exploring what it means to be in partnership with our needs and how to start getting accustomed to trusting ourselves and our bodies. Mara is offering her insights on why we often don’t advocate for our needs, the reason it can ...
Jun 29, 2023•45 min
#227: Discover how to have your own back when you want to say no, instead of continuing to keep others happy at your expense by abandoning yourself. You’ll hear how to intervene when you notice the self-abandonment cycle playing out, and my favorite ways to recenter and ground myself when I’m in the cycle. Get full show notes and more information here: https://victoriaalbina.com/227
Jun 22, 2023•32 min
#226: The self-abandonment cycle is a common response for those of us with emotional outsourcing habits. We look to over-give, over-perform, and over-function more than we want or have the capacity to, and it’s leading to a painful cycle that’s no longer serving you in your adult relationships. It’s a lot to realize we’ve been living in this cycle, often for decades, if not an entire lifetime. That’s why, on this episode, you’ll get a refresher on how the self-abandonment cycle gets activated an...
Jun 15, 2023•32 min
#225: It’s beautiful to watch the power of coaching in action, and if you’ve ever felt any sense of nervousness or trepidation about getting coached, this is your opportunity to observe and experience a taste of it for yourself. I'm sharing a live coaching call from inside Anchored. The three clients you’re hearing from are vulnerable, open-hearted, direct, and tap into their own lived experiences as they ask for support in coaching. This conversation offers valuable insight into what it’s like ...
Jun 08, 2023•48 min
#224: If you wear self-sufficiency as a badge of honor, or feel the need to take care of others while denying your own vulnerability and need for support, listen in. The top beliefs that block us from receiving love and care are what leave us in the trap of independence, and you’ll hear why stout independence is actually problematic for you and the world. Get full show notes and more information here: https://victoriaalbina.com/224
Jun 01, 2023•36 min
#223: If you’re living with codependent, perfectionist, and people-pleasing tendencies and feel like you’re uniquely terrible or have defects in your character, listen in. Ruth Duren is a phenomenal Master Certified life coach who helps immigrant businesswomen stop working harder than they need to while making more money, and she’s living proof of the power of stepping out of emotional outsourcing. Ruth shares what life was like for her before Anchored, her experience in our community, and the t...
May 25, 2023•41 min
#222: Discover what you can do when you truly love someone whose chronic Eeyore stance on life is leaving you feeling stuck. I’m sharing my insights on why we stay with folks living in a sense of chronic dissatisfaction, important reminders to keep in mind if this is your experience, and my tips for supporting yourself as you consider your future. Get full show notes and more information here: https://victoriaalbina.com/222
May 18, 2023•34 min
#221: Are you tired of feeling stuck in a perpetual state of dissatisfaction? Do you often find yourself irritable or angry at the world around you? Join me as I guide you through a transformative process of self-discovery and exploration. You'll learn how to get curious about your negative habits, and discover the remedies for living a happier, more joyful life. Don't let chronic dissatisfaction hold you back any longer, my love – tune in now to start your journey towards a more fulfilling life...
May 11, 2023•36 min
#220: In this capitalist, white settler colonialist framework we’re living in that teaches us we should compete with each other, my guest and I have both decided to be dedicated to our mutual growth instead. Sara Bybee Fisk is a Master Certified Coach and instructor who teaches women to eliminate people pleasing and perfectionism from their lives, and she’s here to talk all things somatic healing and platonic love. Get full show notes and more information here: https://victoriaalbina.com/220...
May 04, 2023•49 min
#219: There’s a powerful story within most of us that says we’re succeeding when we’re happy, and failing when things feel challenging. If you’re moving your life forward, i.e. doing something that is worthy of a shiny gold star, you’ll get an unequivocal celebration from society. On the other hand, if you’re in a moment of rest and stillness, you’re simply not doing enough. Hear how you might have learned to push away or fight against the ebbs in favor of energetic flow in your life. I share wh...
Apr 27, 2023•25 min
#218: Somatic practices can be incredibly helpful for breaking free from codependent, perfectionist, and people-pleasing habits; to go from emotionally outsourcing to being the source of your own emotional grounding and centering. I share what somatic practices involve and how they play a role in stepping out of emotional outsourcing. Hear the vital first kitten step in incorporating somatic practices into your daily life, and some of my favorite simple practices for you to begin with. Get full ...
Apr 20, 2023•32 min
