[M4A] Boyfriend Comes Back Home Drunk Again – [Reverse Comfort]

Hey, babe. You are, um, you're up, yeah. Look, no, I wasn't drinking, I promise, I swear it. What do you mean I'm acting drunk? This is me completely sober. Sober as a priest. What am I always doing? I've done nothing, always nothing. You're just being dramatic. Alright, yeah, I'm slurring a bit. English is hard, ain't it? Doesn't mean I'm drunk though, I promise, sweetheart. I only had a bit, yeah, just a tiny sip. Doesn't mean I'm drunk, I'm perfectly fine, I think.

Yeah, I think I just, look, I had a little drink so I would feel like absolute shit, alright. Oh, you're worried about me? Please, babe, don't be, I've got, you've got nothing to worry about, my drinking's completely under control. How much did I have? Some vodka, you know, it's my favourite, but not loads, promise. How much is some? Just a few shots. How's being here a few? Bloody hell, why are you always like this, always on my case? Trying to control me?

Yeah, that's not love, that's manipulation. What I drink, where I drink, how much, I don't answer to anyone. What about your health? Please, I can look after myself, I don't need anyone telling me what's best for me. You're tired of me drinking? Well, I'm tired of everything, tired of being miserable, but you don't see me whining about it, do you? No, right, then stop mourning about my drinking, let me live for once, let me enjoy life while I still have one.

Oh, I'm scaring you, during the club I scare myself, but I'm not saying anything, am I? Maybe you shouldn't either. I know you care, alright, I know you mean well, but telling me not to drink when I'm drowning in shit doesn't help, it makes it worse. Yeah, I know alcohol's bad, but not drinking, that's not better either. Either way, I'm hurting, I might as well drown it all in booze. What? Alcohol's not the answer?

Well, unless you have a few grand lying around to fix my life, keep the lectures to yourself, yeah. Oh, you don't have that money? Didn't think so, so stop judging me. You wanna help? Well, you can't, that's what no one seems to get. I know it breaks your heart when I drink, but I need it, I need it to survive, I can't do this anymore. I'm so bloody tired, I just want to be happy, and alcohol makes me feel something close to it. So, how do I stop? And why should I stop?

We've been over this a thousand times, I've tried that, it didn't help. What does help? More alcohol. Simple as. You don't get it, you'll never get what I've been through, so stop judging me, just stop, that's the last thing I need right now. After everything, I didn't ask for this alright, I don't want to drink every bloody day, I don't like it, but it's the only thing that numbs the pain, and I don't know what else I'm supposed to do. A hug? Are you serious?

Yeah, I know what a damn hug is, I just, yeah, yeah, I love that, I'd love that more than anything. God, I needed that more than I knew. Is it better than booze? I don't know if I wanna answer that, not right now. Not saying I'd rather the bottle over you is just… why do I have to choose, you know? Look, instead of making this harder than it already is, can we just stay like this? Just, just hold me. No babe, this hug doesn't magically fix things, but it does help. A lot.

I can't promise I'll stop drinking, I wish I could, but I can't. You don't get it, I can't just stop. It's the only thing keeping me going, yeah, it's not… yeah, it is that bad, it really is, and I'm sorry, I am so sorry, you deserve someone better than this, someone who's not a total mess, and you've got me, I feel awful for you. I know you love me, I know you only want me, I just wish I could be better for you.

I'm trying, love, I am trying, but it's hard, it's so bloody hard not to drink when you know what my life's like. Yeah, Carlos sounds about nice right now. Bloody hell, I've missed this. You're so warm, so soft. I love you, I love you so much, it hurts. I love you more than I can ever say, please don't leave me, please don't throw me away, even with all my flaws, I love you with everything I've got. Let's talk about everything tomorrow, yeah?

Tonight, it's just… sleep, I am knackered, I am absolutely knackered. Sleep tight, love, I love you more than you could ever imagine.