The Process of Therapy

Commitment is inherent in any genuinely loving relationship. Anyone who is truly concerned for the spiritual growth of another knows consciously or instinctively that he or she can significantly foster that growth through a relationship of constancy. M Scott heck Welcome back to Family Therapy. I'm your host, Elliott, Connie, and for the last time this season, what's been better since you listened to the previous episode? In fact, I want to ask you what has been better since you

Are you sure or not?

Pus my on a firing squad with at a blind fon Freddy?

What do I would like the outcome to be?

I guess it's the same every time, just a better understanding of ourselves and a better understanding of each other and learning how we can help one another.

Okay, all right, David, Freddie, what about you?

Guys?

Like, what do you what do you hope is the outcome of it?

Well, personally, I hope that we can have a better insight on the things that we want to achieve in life together and separately.

David, what about you? What do you what do you hope we get achieved today?

I mean, I think I'm pretty much on the same page as everybody else, you know, a little bit more insight understanding, you know, certain things that's going on. I always look forward to the sessions, always walk away like you know, that was a good session and a broader mind shift of a little bit more than what it's going on right now. So I'm ready to dive in see what's going on.

So, I mean, I think the first question I have is all three of you have made progress in this process that blows me away to be honest with you. Now, let's imagine this is the last time we ever speak, like after today, we can never speak again. What progress do you hope do each of you hope will continue to happen in spite of no longer being allowed to speak to me ever, which isn't the case, by the way, but let's pretend for a moment you cannot call me

I think staying the course and continue, you know, with the communication part. I think over the last couple of months, communication has been a little better than it has than it was before.

Uh h.

I feel like, you know, still with some work in progress, but me personally, you know, taking on a.

Little bit more than usual, maybe you know, focusing on what I really want.

To do a little bit more is uh. I think that's what I want to I feel like that's what I'm gonna continue to keep doing after I walk away from this?

How would how would how would Freddie and Jay know that you've continued doing those things? Like what would be assigned to Jay specifically, but even Freddie? How would they notice that continuing communication has continued to improve, You've continued on this path, Like what would they notice that would tell them, you know what, David is continued on that path?

Well, I don't know about fucks.

I don't know, man, Like you know, Jay's probably around me the molds and.

Mm hmm.

I just feel like, you know, probably through like conversations or actions or just you know. That's why that I think that's what she'd be able to see. But I don't know like that that I can't like, yes, I want people to notice or whatever, but if they don't, like, I'm still gonna keep pushing, like you know what I'm saying. So I don't know where that's gonna come from, you know, but when it when it is, when it's when it's

Yeah, but what are those things as you keep pushing? You use the phrase like I'm gonna keep pushing. How would you she know that you're continuing to push? What would she see that would say, you know what, I know he's not doing this just for me, and I know he's not doing it just so that I noticed, but I couldn't help but notice X, Y or Z thing that is evidence that he is continuing to push himself. Like how would she notice that?

Well, well, one of the things that I'm really just been diving in on. You know, she would definitely hear, like because even now, you know, jumping in and out of car, I got certain radio stations on, like listening to certain stuff and you know, certain conversations on the phone that's changing, or me on the laptop and something else is open, you know what.

I'm saying, So like their.

Behavior is changing and the language and conversations are changing because of what I'm focused on right now. So I think that's how Jay would know, because she's gonna see like, yo, like he love the Buckeyes, he love it nine ers old, but like he talked about this twenty four to seven, Like you know, he's locked in on it, So I think that's I think those would be definitely some of the telltale signs of how she would recognize that that things are changing.

Thank you, David. And how about Freddy and Jay? How would you notice that you were continuing the progress that you've made through this process.

I guess that I would be continually trying to focus on creating more positive.

Habits in my life, so focusing on the good stuff.

And you know, when people ask me how I'm doing, I have something positive to say, and I'm actively trying to see joy.

In the day to day.

In the life.

So trying to.

Just try to, you know, just try to focus on the things that are really you know, small but still exceptional.

And I think that's what I would do.

How do you think David would notice that you were doing that? Jake? What would be a sign to David, someone who says he's close enough to you that he would see it, Like, what would be a clue to him that you were doing these things?

Maybe I would be more engaged in small talk.

I really don't like small talk, but probably because we, you know, see each other every day, talk to each other every day, sometimes we can kind of get lost in that, So I think, you know, just sharing with him a little bit more about the you know, the good things that are going on and just expressing, you know, the things that I noticed that that I'm doing or that he's doing, and just bringing those things up in conversation or sharing with him ways that I am focusing

Do you think he likes that when you smile and share the happiness with.

Yeah, everybody does.

Everybody? Okay, cool? Thank you, Jay and Freddie?

What about you?

How would you know that you were continuing the progress that you've made through this process?

Each and every day you expect things that of a person and you just take it for granted and you lose focus on it about saying that, how thankful for you are? You know what I'm saying of like just coming home to a nice hot meal. You know, you

This caves in.

I'm like, oh, how mercy, you know what I mean. We got hit rock bottom, you know, you know, to get back on thread. So I'd be like, yo, lord, you know, do your thing, man. Put put the spirit into some chokers man, you know, because like I don't think i'll be here. I don't be here that long. Like like it's funny because, uh, when my mother was alive, she's gonna have you, oh, massage your feet all the time. And I used to, you know, I used to do it because she her feet used to have the you know,

Man?

You know?

And it just I don't even know what made me think about that, but I can feel the thrills running through my body, Like, hey, Dad, can I.

Ask you a question.

Do you think your mother is looking down on you and saying, dang, I wish you would have massaged my feet that night, Or do you think she's looking down on you and saying, Wow, I'm so proud of him and how far he's come.

Mm hmm, Well, I think she's extremely proud of me that too. And I don't think jee thinking bemembering about her feet, you know what I mean? That you hold personally, uh, yourself. That's kind of like be agging at you, you know what I mean. But I think she didn't even think about no feet.

You know, on that.

That's funny because I think Jay Jay is highlighting something, and Jay, I'm starting to wonder if maybe you should be a psychotherapist at some point. She's highlighting something that I want to I want to mention all three of you, Like Freddie, you are one of the most incredible men I've ever met. And what makes me say that is there have been times in your life when you did not make the right decisions for your family, and here

Jesus Christ. Wow, if I can eliminate all those things and just go through life each and every day without those uh barriers or things that would create chaos in my life. But that's it's not it's not a real concept because like I don't I don't dwell on the fact that, uh I didn't do that. But at the same time, I say to myself, like like Jay said, she's uh, she's so proud of me as on my accomplishments. Uh, it's not something.

That that's wish I had done it, you know what I mean, I would have felt I don't know if it made me feel uh bad about not doing it in the sense where it made a difference, you know, in.

Her life of my life because because like I said to it Ja, I don't even think she even remember I didn't even do a fee, you know what I mean. But uh, it's just the fact that I think, Uh, like you said, some things in life you just you hold on too. You know, no need, no reason to hold on to that.

So you know, so Freddy in it Throughout the course of a normal day, do you spend more time thinking? And I have no idea to answer this question. I'm just I want to check in on something more time thinking about mistakes you've made or the accomplishments you've achieved.

Oh of course, Uh. I think about the better achievements in my life and the things that I can't improve on. I don't dwell on the things that that I made mistakes off. I can't. I can't change them with change them at all, you know what I mean. I could try to better and make it, make a better situation out of today, I don't. I don't live in the past.

That you know. I don't.

I did what I've done in it and I got to live with it. But I don't let it eat me up inside. You know what I mean. I'm trying to well out, you know what I mean. I advanced so far, so I ain't gonna let those things keep me, hold of me, hold me, hold me, hold of me, because I've never succeeded. I never I've never accompissed anything in life. If I keep doing on the things that I mean.

I think that's true. Ready, how do you do that? How do you manage to realize? Like I just got to focus on on these things, like, how do you how do you manage to do that?

Well, it's it's kind of simple, you know what I mean? Because like, uh, at one time in my life, I thought I never reached twenty five, you know what I mean? When I uh, that was the age of twenty five. Uh, I thought that was astounding of accomplishment because like the way my life was going, I ain't the thing I was going to establish that age. Now I'm like, I'm gonna be sixty five in a minute, you know what I mean.

So I don't.

I don't done that almost you know, double that already. So now, like they said the ladies at the end of the tunnel, you know, I don't see it as at the end no more. You know what I'm saying. It's right there, it is in my grass, what I mean. So, uh, if when I went up tomorrow, God's willing, and I got a plan on doing a few things, and you know, you know, I'm hoping that this why my presence would put a joyful smaller people's faces.

You know what I mean, right, David? I would ask a similar question to you. You are also one of the most incredible people I've ever met. I consider it to be such a privilege to have gotten to know you.

No, I do think about that, Like you know, I think I think about it more now is because the way I'm shifting to mind shift that I'm having because I know, like you know, when times in the past and sometimes you could go on to pass and build

It to other other things, you know, and and it would help.

And it helps, and it does because like I'm grabbing some of them techniques and pushing it towards other things. Is just you know, now you got to push them. You got to push them techniques around your entire life now because it's not just you when it was in the past. So that's that's the challenging part. How can I fit this into everything.

You know.

That's why I said, you know, the better version of David the more you know, the staying positive every day, even when it's if it's a hiccup, you know, you gotta rebound. Like I said before, you know, one of the things my coaches always said is don't worry about the last play. Concentrate on the next one. You know, we can review that play when the game is over.

But let's let's think about it. What what what? What was it?

And all the positive other things that can happen, you know, by just rebounding and putting that one to the side and maybe revisiting it a later day when you're when you're in a better mind state, then you can handle that negative thing a little bit better and it's not as bad as it was when it hits you Monday and you're looking at it on Thursday.

If it can wait that long or later on in the day. But I feel like, you know, with a positive.

Outlook, in a positive mind, you can accomplish the things that you think are impossible because it has been done. Especially for me, it has been done, so I know it could be done again.

What happens to your life as you continue to remember that day, Because I really mean what I said, I think you're an incredible man, and I would say I think there were times when you forgot that. So what happened to your life when you remember, like, I'm pretty good at doing impossible things, like I'm pretty good at being an absolute incredible human and accomplishing incredible thing. What happens to your life when you're in that space, David?

I mean, when you're in this, when you're it's just a it's just a whole aura, a feeling of accomplishment, no matter what it is, it's just it's just a different feeling.

It's a good feeling.

It's a natural high and it's a good feeling. I'm being honest with you, it is absolutely and you know, and people me, I want that feeling a lot, and people want that feeling, you know what I'm saying, So you know, and it's not something that you're just gonna just like it's take hard work to get to that level of feeling, that level that that level whatever it is that you're on that you are trying to get to.

And and and the thing David like, having that feeling interesting doesn't make life any easier. Like, it's not like life stop throwing curveballs at you or anything, but it just seems that you're able to handle them better. Is that Is that right?

You think?

Yeah, because a lot of times when you get to that when whatever, like it's sometimes and most of the time, right, if it's something and you get to the top of it or whatever, right, you're gonna have some challenges. You're gonna have some outsiders. You're gonna have this right, but you're gonna you're gonna bail it, Like you said, you're gonna beil and handle it differently because you know what it took to get there. So you knew what it took to get there. You're gonna bail and handle it.

You know, you're gonna be.

To handle whatever is coming out. You're gonna keep on going because you want to be up there. You want to be at that space within yourself. That's where you want to be at because that's your space. That's how you. You know, you focus at that space, you maneuver at that space. That's a better version of you at that space, and you can handle a lot of things at that space.

Thank you, David. We'll be right back with more family therapy. And Jay, you were an incredible woman, And I don't know if I've ever met a woman quite like you before. Like we've been meeting now for all these weeks, and it seems like every time we met, I learned something new that was amazing about you that you didn't tell me previously. Like I learned about your military experience. I learned about your multiple degrees and the programs that you

I think I would create the life that I truly want and believe that I can do it. I have achieved a lot of things, but I haven't absolutely I haven't achieved mastering myself yet, and I don't.

I don't know if anyone.

Ever really truly fully masters themselves. But I do think I could be better at it. I think that there are things that I want that, to be honest, like, I'm afraid to do them.

I don't be at you are afraid to do it? How can you be afraid to do something you got so far in life already, because.

So there's the moves that I make. Are they're ris scared.

Yeah, Like I don't want to work at my job. I know I could shift gears and find something that I enjoy, but I'm scared, so I don't do it. But if I focused more on what I could do, then then I would do those things, versus just saying, well, this is what I got, so it's safe.

So let me keep it. I really don't enjoy spending forty hours a week staring at a computer. I feel like that is such a waste of my energy and my time.

But the income is solid and I need it. So there's like those more personal choices, like I can make a business still happen because it's external, you know, it's more of an external thing. But when it comes to the lifestyle that I truly want, I don't.

I don't know that.

I mean, I've taken steps, but I don't know that I've taken as many steps.

As I could to true achieved that lifestyle.

But if I focused on the good stuff, and if I focused on what I could do with the confidence of you've done so much already, then I would make different moves.

You know.

And it's interesting that you say that, Jay, because you have accomplished so much, and I don't think you've given yourself credit right to the to the degree to which you've accomplished. It's almost like you just kind of like, ho hum it. And I'm like, wait a minute, that's not a whole hum accomplishment Like that that thing, that that degree you got, or that that achievement you had in the military, or that business thing that you achieved, or or even the level of jobs you got. Those

Yeah? I would I want unstick myself. I wouldn't. I wouldn't feel stuck.

And I'm not telling you you know tomorrow I want you to quit your job because like, who knows, I don't know what you would do.

No, I'll make decisions like that.

Yeah, but what would you what would be the first thing, Jay, What do you think would be the first like even micro step you might take when you start realizing, like I'm going to give myself credit for the amazing person that I am and the amazing things that I've achieved.

Yeah, I mean it would. Part of it would be looking for a different job. Part of it would be that part of it would be instead of focus on what I can't what I used to do physically, I would just be like, Okay, let me, I'm gonna go for this walk. I'm gonna go for this. Like I saw somebody running the other day and I was like, damn, I.

Used to run.

I used to do that, you know what I mean. So I would probably, you know, be like, well, man, maybe I can't do.

Forty push ups in two minutes anymore, but I could do ten.

You know what I mean, Like, so let me do that.

You know.

I would just focus on what I could do and do it instead of just knocking it off like it's not as good as what I used to do. So I ain't even gonna you know what I mean, Like I would, I would just do what I can until I get to the point of where I want to be Jay.

I love that. H I love that Jay. Now Jay, perhaps me personally getting to know you, I've learned a lot about you and some of your accomplishments. But I'm I can't, I can't lie. I do have a favorite accomplishment of yours. My favorite accomplishment of yours is the way you have forgiven your father. I don't know if I told you that was my favorite, but I think I've told you that I admired it. To me, I think that's the one thing that speaks the most to who you are. I just want you to say, like,

I just, I guess I just focused on I just allow him to be who he was.

Without the expectations of who I wanted him to be.

But how did you do that? How did you shift your focus from what I was angry with him about or what I was missing within him? How did you shift your focus to I'm going to allow him to be who he is without having any exces Like, how did you do that?

Well?

I don't know that I ever really held a lot of anger towards him.

So how did you do that?

Because I realized that he dealt with addiction, and I don't see.

Addiction as a flaw. I see it more as a disease.

And I felt like if I was, if I was sick, I wouldn't want someone to hold that against me.

So I just I don't know.

I just I just said, you know, if this is his challenge, then that's his challenge, you know, and it's hope hopefully one day he would overcome, and he did, so I just I just didn't hold it against him.

So going back to the theme of like, I'm not sure Jay gives herself credit for things. Do you ever realize how how rare that is and what a gift that is that you've given to Freddy can say.

Give a much stop, But I do think it is a gift, I agree, not just to him, but to myself as well.

And not just to him, and not just to yourself, but like to your kids and to David. And you know what I mean, like because you did this, your kids have a relationship with their grandfather because you did this, Like have you ever sat back and realized that that was such a massive gift and probably played a role in saving.

His life absolutely, because like when the whole world don't believe in you and you just got one person that still does, that's all you need, you know what I mean, You could you could cipher off for that and restore your life.

You know what I mean.

I don't think anybody like uh I ever thought that I was wont to get out of the round that I was, you know what I mean. And every time I talked to Daylan, she gave me that. That's that's such encouragement. That gives me the strength.

You know what.

It's like they say some people got the foresight, got that special eye. They could see all the goodness in you and not all the bad and the evil in you. And the person she could look at somebody and she can see all the goodness that's inside the person and not she or even the outside the person, you know what I mean. So, uh, that's the gift I think

And then I teach kids how to read.

But I did start an organization that that collected books and sent them to libraries in Africa.

That's that's that's but that's what dads do, though, That's what dad do. You gotta let them be great.

My father used to do the same thing.

You just proved my point.

I know, I know I did.

I had no idea that Jay had started an organization that sent books the African libraries. Some kids had access to books. Every time I talk to this woman, I learned something new about something that she has achieved. But Freddy, you said something a second ago that was really important. You said that when you're in a difficult situation, when you have that one person that believes in you, you can like siphon off that I think is what you said.

Actually, I don't. I don't believe I have, But this is a great opportunity to do so. And I believe that my whole life. You know, everybody uh needs that that that's certain individual or have have that certain individual in their corner where no matter what they've done in life, they still believe in you know what I mean? And Jay, you have been that person for me, you know what

Man.

Yeah, she's dope.

One thing I'm happy and I really enjoyed seeing.

I love family. I come from a large family. I'm close to a lot of my family, and you know, I don't have my dad here, my mom's is gone. I like Pops from day one. He's been my guy, straight up. Ain't nothing changed about me. Ain't nothing. I've been the same cat since I met Possible. And I'm happy that Jalen got a relationship with him, Like I'm being honest with me, him had serious talks. We can laugh together, we can have great conversations and stuff, and I like that. And I love the way he is

Three, two of them haven't met my dad.

So I love the relationship that he is that he has with is in easy and you know, and what was And when I look at him and I look at my pops, a lot of the same similarities, hard lives came over that you know, became great people, you know what I'm saying, and kept moving forward.

So I understand him, and uh, and I get it right. And it ain't.

Easy and I let and I done told him that though. But that's one thing I like, and I and and and I and I see that, and I let him take their own course. I don't push it in our implore on that to be able to still have a relationship because and and it's good.

It's a good thing.

And I look back and I see it, and you know, I just wanted to say that because it is too And Pops.

I just wanted to give you a clue. It was like, you're my guy, right. I don't know if I ever told you that, But.

It's such a powerful thing that Jay did that facilitated all these other changes. Such a powerful thing that and Freddie, I'm so glad that you would even voice that because now she gets to hear it like I. Actually I contributed to how he transformed his life. That's a real, real powerful thing.

It's really interesting to hear both of their perspectives on that, because I actually never really thought about it too much.

But I guess the beauty of.

It is that when you don't I guess, when you don't hold on to resentment and anger, you're opening the door for blessings that you don't even realize you're opening the door for damn.

Yeah.

So I'm happy that you know, I was able to do that because it is so many people that just they're so angry, They're so angry about what could have been, what should have been, Why isn't it this way or

To that point, Jay, I agree with every word you just said, and I want to add one more thing. Your father said one of your abilities is you can see goodness in people even when they're doing evil things. I think is what Freddie said. What do you think about him saying you have that trait? You have that ability.

I actually realize that as a trait that I have. I'm good.

I mean, I'm happy he noticed it too, But I really do try to.

Let people be who they are.

My challenge, my personal challenge with that is creating the boundaries around myself so that any negative traits don't have a negative impact on me. But for the most part, and I think I get that from my mother.

She just she's the type of person.

She just gonna let you be who you are, like whoever you are, you know, rock out, And I guess I get.

It from her.

And I think it is a good trait to have. But you also have to be careful with that trait. You know, there's there's things that people can bring to the table that might not be good for you. So I think I have a better balance at that than she does.

But yeah, I do.

I do realize that that's a pretty incredible trait to have.

Jack, Yeah, I'm pretty awesome.

No, don't you?

Did it?

Like I kind of want you looking in the mirror every day and be like, yeah, I'm pretty awesome. I want you to give you.

You should you are awesome.

Yes, I want you to give that same grace that you so eloquently gave to others, including your father, to yourselfself. What if you use that superhero treat on you?

Yeah, David tells me all the time, it's so hard on myself, But he's right, and you're right.

She's very hard on herself. Jay is like she got it.

She and I see it sometimes and I don't hear her speak to me, and sometimes like I don't say nothing. I let her bring it out of herself because how awesome she is and how smart she is is just some things with my skill set that I see and I'm like, yo, she gotta bring it out herself. I

Give yourself that high five, like hell yeah, like and I say that like yes, like sometimes I get myself to high five. I don't care.

I don't need it to be exactly hitting on all cylinders. But it was a small accomplishment so it can hit on all cylinders. So you high five yourself and keep moving, and keep moving, keep moving.

I love the idea of all of you celebrating, like giving yourselves high fives, because for each of you it's different, but I have a similar experience with all of you. Jay's a bit more extreme because every time I talk to those women, I learned something new about something great she does. But all three of you I have that

Freddy?

Noah, absolutely haven't uh like this? This this program has done uh great insight on my own life. You know what I mean. I feel that most most black men don't do there, you know what I mean, out of it's out of the round, you know what I mean. We were strong, we dominate, were gonna we could handle it, you know what I mean. All of us need you know, a therapeutical program, you know, so so we could dig deep within and with and without, you know what I mean.

You're always gonna be like bewildered you, You're always gonna be hurting.

You know what I'm saying.

You gott you can, you can.

You gotta dig and find yourself man, and like and some things like through this this process, I didn't know about that insight to encourage Its almost like it's a it's a way way off your chest, you might say, off your shoulders, you know what I mean. This just to know those those little details, you know what I mean, that's amount of encouragement.

Some people will never be able to achieve by being watch you, you know what I mean, and not just getting the time out to say, well let me try therapy.

Yeah, I think the stronger you become, right, and the and the more that you're trying to go down that path of greatness and mind shift, the more you do need to talk to somebody because that's when more, that's when a lot of the challenge is gonna come.

I think that's absolutely true. And David, what about you? Have you thought about the like the impact you're gonna have on people as they watch a man be vulnerable and like reclaim his strength and his confidence. I admire you so much, David for the way you are pursuing your confidence and your strength and the father you are for your boys. Do you have you thought about the way you're going to be inspiring men to stay connected to their families.

I think so.

I think the one thing that Pop said is like, you know, and and it's definitely true, Like you know, especially in our community, Like you know, guys where I'm from, the way I was brought up, and you know, the things out and reach on the sports level are sometimes misperceived to be vulnerable sometimes. Right, doesn't mean that you're a punk or you're weak of anything like that, Right, just that you're a man, right, you bleed, you human? Right that you can't be a tough guy all the time, right,

This and this and that.

But I still gotta be I still gotta show some softness to my kids. And that's not a bad way because you gotta have them, you gotta you gotta let them be able to adjust. You can't be angry all the time, can't live like that way. No, you gotta you gotta be happy. So I think it's gonna some of the things that already that are already accomplished in the impact that some people know. And I saw what

Gonna take it to another level.

Maybe the right person hear it and reach out, and you know, maybe they need a person they need to talk to. Because I got a lot of people I know and I know they got stuff going on. They need to talk to somebody. Because now my conversation is different. I'm hitting them with some of your questions, like you know, trying to get you know, like I'm in sales, so you know, open ended questions.

So I know that.

So I know, right, trying to get like you know, because I feel like to teach one, each one, each one, teach on whatever which way you go, right, I can't hold all the information for myself. So if I feel like if I care about that person and I you know, and it's what I'm talking about my like my crew, and I look at him like a brother or something like.

That, Yeah, I yo, what's up man? What's going on?

Yeah?

Right, maybe he need to hear me vent or talk, or maybe he got some something for me, or maybe I got something for him. Though, but I think more of that needs to happen. And it wasn't happening a lot, and where are you know. Some of it is wrinkle down and we're building our ways out of it.

But you know, I think we need more of that.

Stay tuned for my final thoughts after this. Well, I just have one more suggestion I'm going to make to you all, and that is to keep noticing greatness within yourselves and each other. Now having said that, I think the most appropriate way to wrap all of this up is to give each of you a final word to say. I think you guys are are far more important in this process. You guys are the stars. This is a process about you. So I'm going to just take a step back and let you guys say the final words

I think I'll first to say thank you to you for guiding student process.

I appreciate you.

I know there was a time where I was like, I don't know if I'm feeling this, but you kind of made sure that you kind of took the time to explain things and I was able to see the bigger picture.

So thank you for that.

Thank you to my father, thank you to David for going through this process with me. I've definitely learned a lot about the two of you, and I'm thankful to have you in my life. And I think you're both very amazing individuals, amazing men, and I'm really thankful.

For you too.

And I'll just say that, you know, for the people who are listening, like it is okay to not be okay, and no matter what you've achieved, no matter what you've accomplished, that doesn't.

Guarantee that your mental health is being cared for. It.

You can get all the degrees you want, you can be in the military.

You could do all whatever.

You could be a CEO with Fortune five hundred company, and you still need to take the time to care for yourself. And what that care looks like is not

Strive for that.

I think there's so many challenges, but I have a special place in my heart for veterans, and I know, like that transition from being in the military to becoming a civilian can be really difficult, but you know, here's the opportunity for you to not have beings so structured and defined for you, and you get to define the life that you want for you and and get to move towards that. So I just want to get my veterans a shout out and and just say, you know, you got this.

You can. You can make the life that you want. And especially oh in the moms, you know you're gonna lose.

You might lose yourself, you really might, but you can always find yourself again. And and God is so good, So even when you forgot who you.

Are, he hasn't.

So just just remember that, and you know, just keep pushing forward.

Jay, Thank you.

The world.

You know, Freddie? What about you? How would you? What final words would you like to leave? Leave people with?

Is the thing you've been losing all your life? You gotta get put yourself off the ground. Don't you realize you you're winning because you're still pushing you know.

What I mean?

You're still pushing that little in you're not pushing. Well, let's keep pushing that a little Michae who in You're gonna get there? You don't get there.

I love that, you know. I think sometimes we get fully wrapped up in winning is a measurement of the outcome. But Freddie, what you just said, I wholehearted to believe you're winning just because you're still pushing like you're winning because you're in the game. The outcome is in the measurement of winning or not. The fact that you're still in the game pushing is the is the measurement, right, David, What are your final thoughts after going through this?

I really enjoyed is these uh this journey.

Out of all the sessions I've probably done had in my life, this is probably this is the best.

One I've had.

Learned a lot, learned some things about Jay which was all so thank you for having us do this. And you know, I'm hoping that and I know it will help some people that's listening. That's gonna take some good things out of this. Keep the faith, right, whoever you higher power is, you know, reach out. The pain is definitely gonna be over. Is only a temporary thing, all right.

You know?

I read my book during this journey and one thing my God David said is like listen to pain. I look forward to it because it makes most people quick. But when you push through it, it's a good thing. On the other side, and that's one thing. Like you know, I think that I got out of this because it's been a lot of pain though, but I'm seeing the good on the other side, and I hope some people see that too, And that's it.

That's it.

I love it, you know, all three of you. I think that is the best way to end this. So all I'm going to say is thank you.

I thank all you guys.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

I love you.

I love you too, love you too, too too.

I think my greatest thought as I think back on working with this families about this season, is what a tremendous honor it was to be in a position where I could meet and help this family. I've been doing