Family Secrets is a production of I Heart Radio. This episode contains references to childhood abuse and addiction. Listener discretion is advised. Danny's Listening is a bonus series brought to you by Family Secrets. Hi, Danny, My twin sister introduced me to your podcast in the fall of and when I heard your about this line, I thought I would give a call. I guess the longest running secret in our family was that my twin was the victim of childhood sexual abuse at the hands of the father of
a family friend when we were young. Pretty yeah, and the route for life my twins alcoholism was not a secret. Was also not a secret that she was on medically assisted treatment for an opioid addiction, but it was a secret that she was administering her self be text for medically assisted treatment. She was administering it and ervenously, and in December of she injected as strain of bacteria accidentally
and developed endocarditis, and she died in February. I guess this seems important because I think a lot about how it deals with compounded secrets, multiple layers, one on top of the other, and so yeah, that's the story of my twin and short, and would be open to any of your thoughts on grief and healing and how to find purpose between the two. And thanks so much for listening. By Hi, it's Danny. First of all, I'm so sorry
for your loss. To lose a twin must be its very own particular form of devastation, and to lose your twin during the pandemic must have intensified all the feelings of isolation and grief. You mentioned compounded secrets, one layer on top of another. This is so often the case when it comes to family secrets. It seems almost like an invisible edifice gets built bit by bit and hiding things, not talking about things, shoving them under the rug, as
in your twins childhood. Sexual abuse then leads to more and more secrecy. It all feels connected, the abuse, the addiction, and then finally the scope of the addiction. You asked whether I have any thoughts on grief, healing and finding a purpose. My life's work, both as a writer and as creator of this podcast has really been all about this.
I don't know that we ever exactly heal from grief, as much as that grief morphs over time and becomes more manageable, something we carry with us that flares up in all sorts of moments, but also becomes absorbed into the shape of our ongoing lives. For me, healing and purpose go hand in hand. Loss can feel so meaningless, but finding a way to make meaning of loss is transformative. Is there something you could do to honor your sister's memory?
Do some kind of work around abuse or addiction. Nothing gets us out of our own heads as much as being of use and helping another human. I'm so glad you called, and again I'm so sorry, but you sound clear and very strong, and you will find your way through. I'll be thinking of you. If you have a family secret story you'd like to share on Danny's Listening, please call eight eight eight Secret zero. That's eight eight eight S E C R E T and the number zero