¶ Podcast Interview
They would talk about how to gear the service , how to get the people to give more , and then the things that they'd done , that they would do outside of church . Faith and Failure's podcast .
We got a different setup today . So some of you have been following the podcast for a while before there was even a live stream situation . You know that my main thing I did when I first started out kind of in my mind the first chapter of the entire podcast was interviewing people . Like I almost interviewed once or twice or sometimes three times every week .
So if anybody ever wants to be interviewed , like you're going to see today in just a second , we can also do it online where we can do a Skype or Zoom situation . But my whole I guess you would say burden for starting this podcast was bringing unity back to the body , like not divided by denomination , but people just searching for truth together .
So part of that searching for truth and if you don't know God , you need to hear stories from people that didn't know God , didn't care about God , didn't want anything to do with God in their life , but came to a very real place in their life where God showed up and made himself really known , and I'm a product of that . I am one of those people .
One of my very first episodes was talking about my story and where God brought me from and the methodic and all that stuff . So that's my heart . It's most of you know I'm a pastor as well , so that's my heart as a pastor to reach those that are lost and get the message of Jesus Christ to them .
So recently here in our church , my man Kenny , so he's got a story . This is Kenny Ford .
Hey everybody .
He's ready to tell his story . So when I was talking to you about all this , I said I kind of want you to start back at the beginning . So how far back you want to go ?
Well , I guess we can start at the beginning , since some things need to be shared . That kind of goes along with my life and turn me into the person that I am , as far back as you know when I was going to be born . I guess you can say you know , I'll tell everybody .
I guess God had a purpose for me because in a way I wasn't even supposed to be here . And I say that because you know , I've got mother siblings that are older than me , that you know . So my mom and dad had them and then all within a year of each other , seemed like . And then there was a .
During that , after Mike , my brother , mike , my dad decided to have a vasectomy . So Kenny Ford wasn't going to exist . And so six years later , my mom pops up pregnant , and I can understand , you know , my bed thought , he thought the worst , you know .
So it , you know it caused conflict and everything , and my mom , being the sweet , sweet person that she is , you know , she begged him to go get a test of , you know , back in the 60s , whatever test they had . But she begged him to do that and you know , I guess he used that as a crutch , you know to .
So I was probably barely a year old and he decided that it was best for him to leave all of us on a Christmas day . And how many of there are you ? There's five of us , so there was four that got to enjoy them together for several years .
And so I don't remember , you know , him being around , as them being together , and but my mom worked really hard and kept us all together . You know it was one group .
So you know I , growing up and not having , you know , a dad in my life , you know , came with a lot of struggles and you know , if you , if you've never been without a dad in your life , I mean it might be hard for you to understand , but if you are one that grew up without that , that mom or dad in your life I mean it's a , it's a deep hole Inside
of you . And so I don't . I'd always just heard , you know , that my dad was an alcoholic and left us and you know , didn't know much about him or or anything , but I knew I had an emptiness and I struggled , but I did have a stepdad because that my mom had met him and got with with storage .
I was probably a year and a half old , so I always had a male figure .
Now , when you , when you were going through all this and the separation and stuff , where your parents in church , christians at all , was God in the picture at all , or you all just raised ?
No , we were just just ,
¶ Surviving Life's Challenges and Finding Faith
you know .
Now , later in life , you know my mom I don't know how much she took the other kids to church , but I know after they started moving on , because there was a six year gap between me and Mike and even more between the other ones , and my stepdad and my mom had a son of their own and so it was just me and him at home together for a while and then they
started going to church some and trying to take us to assembly , god , church and different things . But at that I was a teenager at that point . So I was , I was rebelling . You already had some bad CR hats and , yeah , didn't want to go , didn't want to be there . But now , having a , the stepdad that I had , he's passed on . He , he provide .
He was a good provider . He , we never went without food , we never went without clothes , we never went without a roof over our head . So he was a good provider . But we grew up he was a sergeant out of the army , so he treated us like soldiers . Yeah , and you know , in some things it was good in life to learn that structure .
You know , because he always said your word is all you have in this life and you better keep it good . So he distilled them , things in us of that nature .
But there was no , there was no tender love , no , put your arm around you , know your son , and take you places or do this or do that , and so so we learned very early that if you didn't want to be in trouble or made to do certain things I mean when you got up you left the house and you didn't come home , you know , until dark and you were allowed to
do that we were allowed to do that . Okay , yes , yeah , my mom , bless her heart , keeping up with everybody . She never knew where we were during the day or what we were doing . Really , it was just out of sight , out of mind kind of deal , and we done anything and everything we wanted to .
My mom would let that fly , you know . But then again , circumstances .
And when she hears us talk now the stuff that we went through and things that we've done , I mean she said I can't believe y'all done that .
I mean you know , nobody wants to believe their little baby . Would kids , would do something .
But when we were going to church , you know , a little bit it was weird . Even though I was rebelling , I always seen that I felt I tugged from God , you know , in a special way and you know , didn't understand it at the time or anything , and you know , and so when I look at different things throughout my life , that's happened , no-transcript .
You know the devil . And when it started off with my dad having a vasectomy , me not even supposed to be here , and then I'm here and we find out later in life , you know , because there was no test done , you know , I just had to believe my mom and trust her . But later in life , then he had another son , Shane , with another lady .
And there's your test yes , that little stick , and I looked like my brother .
So you can't run from it . We all start coming into church . Man , I was like wait , yeah , ford , I know that .
Right . And so there was several different things and I'll move forward and then come back to it a little bit . But so from not even supposedly to be born and then there's been several different things in my life that that almost took my life . And so God , you know , God seemed fit for me to be born and he seemed fit to let me survive these incidences .
You know , one of them was an O nine . My colon ruptured inside of me and I didn't know it and I just thought I had a stomach ache and so I'm pretty tough and just high tolerance of pain , so I didn't think that much about it and I went on to work . I didn't call Shelly , Didn't tell her nothing , I work .
I come home about four or five o'clock that day and I come in and I told her , I said baby , I said I've had a stomach ache all day and I'm going to take a shower and go to bed . And she made a joke and she said , Kenny , if you're not going to eat supper , you need to go to the hospital . And we laughed at all Something is wrong .
Because she said something's wrong with you . And I said no , I'm stomach hurts , I'll be all right . So I take a shower and I go to bed and I never woke up or anything during the night . She come to bed sometime or another .
But about three AM she said she could feel my heart beating through the whole bed and by then , when she tried to wake me up , I was already delirious and just about gone . I was so septic from my stool spilling inside of me all day it's no different someone stabbing you in the stomach and you trying to survive it .
So she didn't even call the ambulance or my youngest daughter got me in the truck , she rushed me to the hospital and they run me through and at that point I couldn't respond to them , I couldn't move or anything . But I was laying there and I could hear the surgeon and he asked her . He said do you have kids ?
Yeah , we got two daughters and a young grandbaby . He said well , listen , here's what we're going to do , he said . He said I don't want to alarm you , but I'm going to pray for him and I'm going to open him up . But he said I have .
You need to tell them to come up here and kiss him goodbye for taking me in , because I've never seen anyone survive this many hours being this septic . And so I heard all that . So I'm sitting there and I said , all right , god , I mean , if you're through with me on earth , I mean I can't do much about it . I understand .
I said , but if you're not , I sure would like to hang around a little while so my kids grow up and see my grandbaby . And how old were your kids about this time ? Sierra had just had Emory , so I guess she was 18 or 19 . And then Kayla's , three years younger than her . So that was that part of my life . And then I faded out .
After that they put me in and rushed me in , and I've never been , as far as I know . I don't think I've ever been in the hospital overnight for anything my whole adult life and I guess I hadn't either .
And it's serious to keep you overnight .
So I stayed six days in the hospital but Shelly said I was out like for three days and they had me on morphine and everything , and so when I started coming to I wasn't sure I questioned myself , because I lay in there and it was like I couldn't hear anything . I couldn't open my eyes , it was solid dark and I thought , man , I don't want to hail .
It's like why do I feel so yeah ?
I really thought . I really thought I went to hail and so all of a sudden I could start . It was getting brighter in there and I could start hearing some voices in the background .
And not everything was fading back in .
Yeah , and so I was out like that for about three days , and during then I didn't know what I was doing . Shelly said a pastor had come by to see me and I cussed him out .
Like a person , like a hospital pastor .
No , I mean , it was a preacher that we kind of knew and my mom had come by to see me and they said that I was cussing her and different ones . And I tried to tell them I was sorry and they said well , you know , from the business of the heart , the mouth speaks .
Yeah , yeah , they like that scripture .
Yes , but I was out of my mind so I sure wasn't held accountable for that . So , but anyway , heard some stories that that was one incident and then when I was called to I felt a call under preach . You know , I went evangelizing for a little while .
Now hold on , let's slow down a little bit . How old were you when you and Shelly got together ? I know you said she couldn't leave the house unless you just Right she ?
was like 15 and a half .
Yeah .
And so they would take her away from the house until she turned 16 . Okay , and so there's four years .
So you're a patient .
Man is what you're saying , it was only a few months before I could date her away from them , but I went over there seven days a week .
Well , yeah , Full time job trying to reign that in Right .
¶ Struggles With Moving and Education
So since we shot forward , let me back up back to my childhood . So many different things that happened , but probably the worst thing that I struggled with my whole life was , you know one I didn't have that real dad in my life , so I had that empty hole , and I guess I don't know if it's for military or what .
But see , we grew up in East Texas , right here , but my mom and stepdad moved us so much that I never went to the same school twice . Yeah , ever and till I . Well , you never repeated a year . Is that what you're saying ? Yeah , right , so that's a lot of moving . It's a lot of moving .
I mean , it's a wonder one of us boys didn't become house movers , you know , or a moving couple , it's just in you . But so I struggled so much because we couldn't settle in and every school I went to they were all on a different level , yeah , and I could never get called up .
So I just accepted the fact that I was dumb Literally , I believed that I was . I couldn't be tall . I thought I was really done because I didn't know we were the only ones that moved around . I thought everybody moved around . I mean , it wasn't aware to me .
Right .
That we were the only ones that were doing it .
You're not living in anybody else's house . You just think everybody else is doing it Right .
Yeah , and so we just went with the flow , and so every school I went to , even when I was little , I just had to learn how to fight and struggle , because you're always a new kid , get me something . I was a new kid and so I carried this throughout my adult life that I was real standoffish and I've always been extremely territorial .
What's mine is mine and you're not taking it from me . And because every time we moved , we lost stuff and we and also , with that , many siblings .
Yes , yes .
But I tell you what we could pack up in an incident and be gone to another place .
I mean , yeah , built-in movers , that was kind of smart on their part .
Yeah , yeah , and you know , and Sorge , he didn't know how to correct us in a right way , so and is that what you called him ?
Like ? That was the day I was all yelling , yeah , all yelling , all yelling .
So he's the army , so he's Sorge to us , yeah , and so we didn't get weapons , we got beatings .
Yeah .
And you know his son didn't .
But Really we did and yeah , so he had a kid that lived with y'all too .
Well , him and my mom had one four years after .
Oh , okay , okay , that kid , okay , okay . So the one that was by him , he did Right , okay , right .
And so having to move around like that and start over , I had to fight every day . And then I was . You know , I could never catch up . I always thought , you know , I was just dumb and just had to struggle my whole life with everything . And so you know I hate it , but I carry that over to my adult life .
So when your mom and your stepdad , when they got married , was God involved at all ? No , okay , no . So military was your religion pretty much . I mean , that was your life .
Yeah , it was . Well , he wasn't in the military when he got with us . He just carried all the traits over to move and he moved just to move . He didn't move because we had to , so he was already retired from the military . Yes , what ? I know ? It's confusing , but they continue to move us around nonstop .
So when you say they , you didn't mean military . You were talking about them .
Yes , no , he was already out of the military , yeah .
That just I know which was he from , military .
Yeah , he even lied about his age when he was a kid . To go in two or three years early . You could get away with it back then and so he just served the whole 30 year career and Someone commented on your .
I got to know Sarge when he became a changed man . It's on Facebook , so it doesn't show me who said it , bill , okay .
But yeah and thank God he did change later in life .
But through that Came to God and changed , or just changed . Yeah , he came to .
God and changed . But through that , See , I raised my two girls , me and Shelly and I raised them where I'd say that Shelly was the disciplinary in our family because I would correct the girls . But I never have spanked them and I've never done anything because I never wanted them to feel the pain from a man that I felt .
And you probably felt a lot of fear too . Yes , nobody wants their kids to feel that way when you walk into a room , right , well , some do , but I mean yeah . And Now , when you said that he would beat you , did you mean with fist or he would just slap you around or what were we talking about ?
Beating Bill Like you were a man , fist , hey , whatever he wanted , whatever he felt like , yeah .
Yeah , because my older brother , Jerry you've met him in church .
I mean there was times that he jumped out of a window with blood just running out of his ears and stuff from being beat and you know it was pretty rough , pretty rocky , and I mean I'm not used to being this open and this you know out there , but I mean he beat our mom to a pulp multiple , multiple times .
I mean me and my brother Mike and Mike he contemplated killing Sarge several times and he had a butcher knife picked out and we stopped him one day down the hall . He was actually going to stab Sarge in the back and we stopped him from doing that because our mom was just lifeless getting beat .
And you know I was still pretty young and it was just Now , was he drinking and then beating , or he just did it ? He drank , but not all the time . He wasn't alcoholic like our real dad was Now real dad was an alcoholic but my mom said he never raised a hand to her . His fault was being drunk all the time and chasing other women .
That was his downfall . Other than that , they said he was a really , really good man , you know . And then Sarge held us together but we saw the bad side all the so , growing up , all we knew was fighting , beating , screaming , hollering . You know it was a daily , daily deal , really .
And you know I remember when I was a kid , you know , and getting teenager , you know I remember just praying to God and saying , god , I don't want to live like that .
So if you can't give , send me one of your angels , and you can't give me someone that I can set on a pedestal and just give her the world and love her and take care of her , then I don't want anybody . And I remember begging him . You know , please , send me that angel , please . And so I started . I'm probably jumping around a lot .
No , that's fine .
So we started going to my oldest daughter , my oldest sister , donna , and her husband Joe at the time , started going to Brother Cornley's church there in Gladewater . Church of God .
Shelly said hi baby , no , no , no .
And so they started going to church there , so I moved in with them .
Now who would say this again ? Who was it ? Donna ? Donna , okay , and her husband Joe . So you're how old at this time ?
I am still probably in at that point , probably middle school , high school .
Oh , so you're pretty young , then yes , how old ? How much older is she than you ?
Donna say there's six years between me and Mike .
I guess that I realized there was that many years between you .
Probably eight years , okay , eight , I think eight years between us . So I moved in with them and started going to Gladewater church of God and that's where Shelly and her family was going , and I didn't even realize , me and Shelly , before that .
Well , we were going to the same school , at Union Grove School , and you know , union Grove School is the only school that I got to go to twice .
Really .
And that was ninth and 10th grade . And I'm gonna say something a little bit embarrassing I've never told anyone about my immediate family , but if I'm putting it out there , I'm just gonna share With my struggle of feeling dumb . We moved around so much I couldn't catch up . They didn't have kindergarten when I was little . Yeah , you started in the first grade .
I don't know how many schools I went to in the first grade . I don't went to the first grade three times , Really , and I know that sounds so . That's how I thought I was dumb .
Every time they moved me they said he can advance to the second grade because he had to learn what he's supposed to learn in the first grade , and I guess it was easier for them to just hold you back and my mom agreed for them to hold me back . So I guess , being that young , I didn't realize at the time I went three times , but I did so .
Now did that set you back three years from graduating . Then Were you three years older than everybody . Oh man , that would have been embarrassing when you got older , See and Something's not your fault either Right Piled on top of it , and that's another thing I didn't graduate .
I went to school for 12 years maybe 13 .
I got a friend he did the same . He failed a grade . I think it was in high school and so he said he was a 13th grader .
Now I don't know how I didn't fail after the first grade somehow , but I fell through the cracks and then somehow they I don't know how they pushed me along , or we moved in just enough time . They didn't want to mess with me . He said she didn't like you . Then yeah , that's true .
Now , when she said she knew me in school , I didn't know she existed there . I never seen her . I didn't know about her then because I was smoking marijuana every day and doing a few drinking and doing a few things that I shouldn't have been doing . But I did , and we started High school or grade school yeah , high school .
So when we started going , I moved in with Donna and Joe and we started going to Gladewater Church of God . Even though I felt tugs from the Lord and everything , I'd really never truly gotten saved .
No one ever walked me through that and so I really I got saved there and Joe was becoming a preacher and a pastor of a church and so I felt a really good connection with God and I wasn't sure what he wanted me to do and all of that .
And at this point that you're feeling this tug . Have you already accepted Jesus or you didn't ?
really know what was I didn't know what was going on , I knew .
Every time I was in church I felt a special , you know , and maybe everybody felt that , I don't know , but I know it was special for me and the kind of person I am , and I'm still that way today I make God show me without a shout of a doubt , because I'm such a real person and if I love someone or I wanna do something , I give it my all .
I mean , I go all or nothing , and so I don't know , I must jump it around or something .
No , no , go ahead .
¶ Childhood Struggles, Anger, and Finding Love
So , going through all that stuff , I really , really struggled as a kid growing up with all that and I carried it into my adulthood and the anger I guess from I don't know . I don't know where all the anger came from , but it was so built up inside of me that I didn't sometimes I didn't know how to control it . I didn't get a normal fight .
I mean , if you were gonna fight me it was to the death . We were gonna , you know and you didn't play by the rules , did you ?
No , no , which of your fight ? And what rules are there ?
Right , right , win or lose two choices , and then when you're forced to fight , every school you go to . It changes you as a person .
Now , when you say forced to fight , was it because maybe you had been picked on ? Or was it because that's the language you spoke from being done that way at home ? See , come on , baby , you okay .
I'm not sure you know what all it consists of , but I go back to say junior high , you know cause we didn't own homes , we rented everywhere , yeah , and so they moved us to Spring Hill one time , and I don't wanna call that school a preppy school , but when I went there there was a doctor's kids and they were , you know , and they'd all been friends their
whole life .
I thought that's what it was over there now .
Yeah , and I've always been real quiet . I'm a loner . If you'll leave me alone , I'm great , yeah . But these kids begin to pick on me and I'd give them every chance to back off . Man , I just wanna exist Right Cause I hated school . I didn't wanna be there , I had to be there .
And so I went up to the water fountain and I was getting a drink and this kid come over and he grabbed me from behind and he was gonna jerk me away from the water fountain . He said he drinks first and then I do .
Well , so I just latched onto the side and told myself if he moves me , he's moving the water fountain too , and he couldn't pull me off of it . So he got embarrassed in front of his friends and so I tried to tell that . I said , man , just leave it alone , it's okay .
And so after that , somehow they got my phone number to our house and they would call the house and I tried to tell my mom . I said what do they want ? I said , oh no , they want me to play or hang out whatever , and I don't really like go . Well , they were on the phone telling me to meet them somewhere .
They wanted to fight me and I didn't want to go and they wouldn't quit .
So finally I just said , man , I've got to go do this , and he's just like well , I guess I'm about to go with somebody , so you didn't try to take your bros , or nothing .
No cause . Mike and him had already four years , four or five years older than me . They moved off to the oil field working in the oil field . Keith was smaller than me and so I was dumb enough to go down there and meet these guys .
So I'm by myself and there's like three or four of them , but they evidently didn't want to fight because they just want to stand around and talk . Well , I grew up . If you get in with the striking distance , if I can reach you , if I can reach you , I'm going to get you .
So I let him get a little bit too close and one of his friends come up behind behind him and I seen him coming and pushed him into me . So when I seen him coming , I just planted my feet and I nailed him . So we rode down this hill .
But the anger built up in me once I get going , you don't turn it off real quick and so I kind of blacked out and I beat him . And then I grabbed this guy and we was by this chain-leap fence and I grabbed his hair and I just started raking his face down one side of the fence and back down the other side of the fence .
Finally they hollered enough and they pulled me off that I stopped . You know I'm sorry that that had happened , but I told them they didn't want to go there . Y'all kept calling me and I picked up the phone and you know I was never good in sports or anything because I never was anywhere to learn anything .
So at this point these guys were still trying to push my buttons and we were in gym class one day and I'll never forget Clay I can't remember his last name , but Clay was a big boy and everybody was scared of Clay and we were gonna the coach is gonna have us all wrestle , wrestle each other .
And man , I'm sitting there sweating and he looked over and he said , coach , I want Kenny . I said man , and back in the day my name was Kenny Kenny not today , but it was Kenny Kenny . But I had something inside of me that I knew had to stand up for myself and so I told myself when he picked me , I mean it's like , oh man , here we go .
But I knew that if I let him just take me , that everybody's gonna think they could . And I fought with everything inside of me and Clay could not pin me down , so that made him mad . But after that one that went Clay could not pin me down . They all backed off and so I decided to play baseball one year . I couldn't hit anything .
He even got hit in the head out in the outfield trying to catch a ball . You know , one of them deals . He didn't feel a thing . And so my mom had came and she was sitting in the bleachers and I got up there to bat and I struck out like always .
And when we at home , you know , I heard her telling someone at the house you know them kids , they were telling , say , and when Kenny was up there bat and said , man , he can't play on sports , but that boy can fight .
So you know , we grew up like that and should have been in hockey then I guess Then you go out there and skate and beat some people up .
But back at the church . You know , when I moved in with Donna and we started going to church there and I gave my life to Christ and someone was joining the church one I still didn't notice Shelly , I don't guess .
Someone was joining the church and everybody was walking by to shake their hands and Shelly and her family come walking through and Joe hit me in the leg . He goes man , look at Shelly , what do you think about her ? And I thought Is that it ?
That's oh .
So right when I seen her , it's like wow , I'd never seen her before , yeah , you know . And so I started going to her house and every day , and I mean man , it was just every time the doors were open .
Every time the doors were open .
And I remember our first actual date when I could actually take her away from the house . We went to the big Greg County fair .
Yeah .
So I took her out and I guess in our conversations I guess I had the place mixed up , because she's always right and she said when I took her back to her house which I thought it was my house , why would it be my house ? And I leaned over and gave her a little bitty kiss . Well , fireworks went off in my head .
I mean it was like I'm marrying this girl . She didn't know that or she didn't think that , but anyway , I mean God gave me the angel that I needed in my life as a human being to to help put all the pieces that were broken and thrown to the side in my life back together . And I'm not going to lie .
You know , dating her and marrying her early in life , I put her through a lot for me , trying to learn how to love somebody and to be loved . You know , because , as sad as it is , all of us siblings we all live in the same area .
We'd only see each other like twice a year , my brother's sisters twice a year , and none of us grew up telling each other we loved each other . It was awkward .
I could tell a stranger I love them easier than I could tell my own siblings , and it's it took all the way to this year , brother us this year , for all of us to start telling how much we love each other . So when I met , met Shelly and started going to her house , man , I'm thinking , boy , I want to get involved in this .
I thought they were weird because they loved each other so much .
It's something like the parent situation and the family and everything Really .
And the kids . They kissed each other , they told each other , they loved each other every when they showed up , when they left , and I'm thinking , man , you don't kiss your family , there's something wrong .
And but literally I thought it was weird , yeah , but through this , shelly has shown me how to love and how to , and I'm so grateful that you know I wasn't the kind of person my dad was or the kind of person my steady dad was that God gave me an angel and then gave me the ability to hang on to her and to keep her .
Now , when y'all first got married , was there any hint of what you used to be ? Like you said , you put her through a lot to be able to learn how to love her and let her love you . Were you still like really rough around the edges or like what was it that ? Yeah , at the beginning , what was it ?
Because I'm only seeing you from this angle , so I don't know exactly what .
I still carried anger , yeah , everywhere I went , I mean our first year of marriage , I mean I would , because I hated my jobs , I hated everywhere , I was in different things . So I was just angry inside of me and so I would work all day .
And when I come home , she's a normal young wife and just wanted to ask how was your day , or how was this or how was that , and that was too clingy for me . And you know , I remember she was kind of tugging on my shirt . It was a Friday and I come in and she was just kind of tugging on my shirt a little bit , just hey , how was your day ?
What do you want , what do you want to do today , or whatever . And I reached up and I literally just ripped my shirt off of my body and I said , here , just take the shirt . And then then I was so mad at myself for treating her that way for no reason .
There was a plaque hanging on the wall and I just grabbed it and I just started banging it until it just started falling apart and then I put my fist through the wall . That I mean just built up stupid anger for no reason . Now , does she know ?
that of you ? Did you show that at all when you dated , or did you lock it down quick enough where she couldn't think about it ?
No , no because we dated for two years . Oh , okay , yes . So she knew I struggled with just holding me , holding my hand . She knew I struggled with the anger issues . I mean there'd been time . Anybody's gonna fuss and argue over little things and little things .
I mean I had a brand new truck one time and she'd got mad about something and she said I'll just get out of the truck and walk . No , you're not going to be no man , you ain't . And I remember just I slammed the door or something . She said that's a new truck .
And I just beat all the way down the side of that brand new truck to show her this , just a truck . I mean all expensive lesson . Honestly . God had to blind Shelly , yeah , and to allow her to stay with me through all that . And I'm so grateful that she stayed and endured it .
But I'm so , you know , disappointing myself for how long I carried it through our adult life . You know of how I grew up . I let that probably any normal person would have left some , you know , like that because she didn't , she'd never been around anything like that . But she loved me unconditionally .
And you know I've never in my life hit Shelly , I've never done anything like that . But you know , during that first year of marriage we would argue and everything , and she got to where she wanted to stomp off and go to the bedroom and shut and lock the door .
So you , you don't , you're not allowed to do that with me , because Kenny was dumb enough to take the door off the hinges and hand it to you and ain't talking about using the hammer and to pry the ultimate beat the door in .
And you got to get something out of it too . You got to be able to beat something up and then make your point .
Yeah , and what was weird about me was I only become satisfied once she got upset , once she got mad or upset that I was okay , like you felt , like you accomplished your goal . Yeah , it's weird . I probably need to go see .
Bill , but anyway , I'm going to try to get him to be on the podcast too , maybe . Maybe we could do a counseling session on them .
Yeah , that'd be good . So I was going to teach Shelly a lesson , and it's always a good place to start with your wife . We had a couch that was sitting out in the middle of our living room floor . So I told myself the next time she's going to get mad and walk off to that bedroom , I'm going to teach her a lesson .
And so the argument happened and she's going to storm off , so she would be standing on the backside of your couch , heading towards the bedroom . I was on the front side of it . She wasn't even a hundred pounds .
So I reached over and I snatched her and I drug her over the back of that couch , where she's laying on the couch , and I told myself I'm going to teach her a lesson . So I rared back like I was going to hit her to straighten her out , and she her eyes got really big and she pop out .
She hit me in the nose with one fist and in the lip with the other and bloodied both of them . I never had a bloody nose and lip at the same time in my life . And she looked straight at me and she said next time I'll kill you , and she meant it .
That fixed all that and then he felt deeper in love . He was like that's my kind of woman . That's funny .
But man , she's the best thing Other than get saved is best thing that's ever ever happened .
¶ Church Hurt and Preaching Experience
So let's do a . It's not a turn , it's actually a step . So if people coming into this video , they're watching and they're looking at the title , there is so how long ago . We won't go to throw people under the bus .
But if you want to give a little bit of detail of so , when you and Shelly got married , were y'all in church and saved , or what were you doing then ? You were in church and saved . Okay , she come . Oh , she say that she's putting your business out there while you're putting her there . So , okay , so y'all get married .
How far after when y'all get married do y'all start having kids ? Is it pretty soon , or y'all wait a little bit , or yes ?
Sarah . I think we were married a year a little over when we had Sarah , yeah .
Well , y'all start having kids . Are y'all still going to Gladewater Church of God or y'all start going somewhere else ? Or has it been a while since you even been there ?
Yeah , we would . We had brother Cornley had moved off , yeah , and that's right , cause he used to be over there . Yes , okay , yes .
So we were still going to church because Sarah was a we didn't have Kylie yet , sarah was still just a really little bitty baby and we were going to church and we were really trying to do the right thing on a razor in church and everything . And this is probably where church hurt started for me and Shelly .
So this pastor had taken over and so we were going there and back then , I mean , there wasn't any money to be made . So so we didn't make hardly any money . And it come down to the point to where we needed . I looked at Shelly . I said we can either prioritize this week or we can buy forming a little bit of diapers for Sarah , and you know .
And then I told Shelly I said , well , listen , god is a merciful God . I'm not gonna watch my baby not eat , so I'll catch my ties up , I'll do something on the side , or I'll do something and I'll catch my ties up . So I went and bought some . We bought some formulas , some diapers for Sierra .
So we go to church that Sunday and we didn't pay our ties , we didn't have the money and service wasn't even over yet , and or was , yeah , it was just barely over because they'd already , yeah , everybody's out in the four year . And that pastor come up and put his arm around me and he said Kenny .
He said I noticed you didn't pay your ties , and for one it embarrassed me and so I was trying to explain to him , sir .
Wait , that Sunday , that was the Sunday you didn't pay . Yes , and he already knew . He already knew . I'm not gonna comment on that , but he already knew . Just as a rule at my church , where I pastor it , I don't know who pays and who don't , unless they're on leadership , and then I can call them out because that's our rules .
But other than that , that's weird to me . Yeah , so I looked at Now were you in leadership ? I'm sorry , no , no , no . So you were just an attendee that was going there .
Yeah , and so when he told me , he told me that , and I said , sir , I said let me explain to you . I said I will make it up . I said , but I had to get some diapers and formula for my baby . Yeah , and he said , no , let me tell you what you do . He said next time you pay them ties and you let God supply it . Okay , yes , sir .
So I don't know if it was the next week or a couple of weeks went by , we were in the same predicament . So I looked at Shelly and I said I'm not getting scolded again , so we're going to pay our ties . We're not buying Sierra , no formula , we're not buying no diapers . And me and her didn't have anything . Either we paid the ties , the preacher or not .
One red soul came to our rescue , not that we ever wanted handouts , ever , but nobody . And I guess God laid it on my mother , my mom and Shelly's mom's heart Because they come to . I can't even remember now if they came to Shelly or what they done .
They gave us some money , some food , something , but they took care of us and I know that's God's way of taking care and providing for us . But being young married couple , I can't eat .
It'd have been nice if it had came from the church .
I mean , you'd think and because it had gotten during that time in our life it had gotten down to where there was . If we bought Sierra some diapers and stuff and done everything , there was one can of tuna fish and one box of macaroni and cheese is all we had .
And Shelly took it and she mixed it up and she divided it out in little bitty pieces and she stayed home with the baby and I worked . And I remember lying to her and telling her that I didn't feel I didn't want to eat , I wasn't hungry , so that Shelly would eat and take care of the baby . And so that's where .
So the preacher that same preacher had asked me because he knew I was a painter at Res Car and different things , and he said man , would you like to make some extra money and come paint outside of my house ? And I said , yes , sir , I would love that .
And I got some ties to pay .
And maybe it was my fault for not seeing what he would pay me up front . I had a job , so I didn't even ask . I was so grateful . Any extra money , any extra money was better than nothing . So I went by there and I painted the house and everything and got done .
And this is the same preacher that he would preach to us that we were gonna burn in hell if we went to the movie theater and we were gonna burn in hell if we listened to country music or anything besides gospel music . I had a scared to death , as young people Makes sense .
So when I got in his truck to move it to paint his house , hank , why do you drink ? Nah , I was playing and it like oh man , and then me and Shelley went to the movies and the very guy that was preaching that to us walked right down the aisle , didn't even see us and said two , three rows in front of us .
So this is like active messages , this not like from . He used to preach that way and he's changed his ideas , Preaching it right now and then yeah , sunday school teacher also .
Yeah , so that was little and that was little . Church hurt so and I hate it , but from that point on we didn't go to church real solid . Yeah , we would go a little while and not go for a while , and things like that . So when you hear Sierra say that she's just now learning certain things and how was she and the girls during this time ?
During this time because it was off and on . They were pretty young , trying to think , because when they came to us we were starting going back to church again . And they came to us and they was ready to get saved . They were probably Shelley would know all this . She's in the comment . Yeah , she might send it to you .
Hey Shelley , how old were the girls during this time ? Tony Delays , let me see what she says . She said Gilmer Assembly . That should probably comment a minute .
Yeah , it'll pop up .
But I was just curious kind of . I'm sure it was in there earlier years . They wouldn't have been at home .
But so when they were young teenagers teenagers are right before teenagers and we started going back to church pretty steady , and I felt the tug and forgot wanting me to preach still because I'd stopped . When I was younger , I went evangelizing . How were you when you started doing ?
When I started evangelizing before me and Shelley got married , I was probably 19 , 18 or 19 . Young blood , yeah , I mean , it was instant because how did that come about , though , see ? I mean , I can share that with you if you want me to . Absolutely yeah . So we were all going to I mean to Gladewater Church of God and we were having a prayer meeting .
And see , god has to show me things . Yes , I can't say I heard a whisper and God called me to preach , or anything like that . So we're having a prayer meeting one night and I felt impressed to go lay down in front of the altar and just lay there and pray . They dimmed the lights and you know . So I laid there and was just praying to God .
When she was around nine or 10 .
Okay , and all of a sudden I was praying and it's like everything went dark on me . The music faded out , I could hear everybody else praying and that all started fading out . It was like I was in darkness just sitting there and all of a sudden I seen a really bright light come on and I can't say it was Jesus , I can't you know .
But two hands reached down and picked me up off the floor and said I want you to walk with me and I said okay . So we started walking down this path and we were on the small path and we're walking and I noticed there was a fragrance of just . I really can't explain it . I've never smelled it since . There was a fragrance of purity , peace , just .
It's just more to explain . And I said where are we going ? Cause we had been walking for like three days down this path .
Was there anything on the path at all Like anything to see , or it was just a ?
path , just a path , and just like a light we were going .
You were just aiming towards it .
Yes . So we're walking down this path and it seems like we were chit chatting along the way and we get to this door and I said what are we doing ? And he says I wanna show you something . And he opens up the door and there's this real long table .
When I say a long table , there's a long table and there's just a few people , but everyone had a glow on their face . I couldn't tell who they were , but there was white people , brown people , black people , every race of people I could see , but they wasn't solid .
They were here and there and there was a bunch of empty chairs all around this table and , man , you could smell the food . You could hear the laughter , it was just like joy . And I said man , let's go . He said no , you can't go in . I said why ? He said it's not time . He said you see that place right over there .
I said yeah , he said that's your seat , but he said you can't go right now . I said no , but I want to . He said no , you can't go right now . I said why . He said you see all these other empty seats . He said I need you to go and I need you to tell people and I need you to help me fill these seats . Wow .
And I said Lord , no , no , I don't want to go back , I want to come in . I said you can't come in , I'm not ready . And all of a sudden what ? It took us three days to journey up to this door . Instantly I'm back in darkness and I'm sitting there .
And then I see that light again and he said now I want you to get up and I want you to tell everybody else , I want you to prepare everybody else what you've seen . And I was like there's no way . And all of a sudden the music started fading in . I could hear the people my brother-in-law , joe , and brother Karnley . I'm sure he still remembers .
They said they come over to try to pray for me . They said I was stiff as a board . Three hours I was out , but I traveled for three days . They said three hours I was at a nonstop . They didn't know what was going on . Wow , and the Lord had took me on a journey to show me , and that's how God called Kenny . Now I messed it all up .
I was so eager and so excited that I quit my job . I went to the next camp meeting instantly , lined up , booked up for almost a year and could have booked up even more . I didn't know nothing . All I knew is what God showed me you weren't contaminated and what God had laid on my heart . My boss said you're just gonna quit your job .
I said I'm not gonna quit my job . I'm not gonna quit my job . My boss said you're just gonna quit your job . I said yeah , I don't need gifts . I don't even know how , brother , they didn't have . I've never been , I've never traveled on my own . I have separation anxiety really bad when I travel in different things . But you didn't .
Then it was God almighty . I had a car that probably should have never made it and I never broke down one time , brother , down out of nowhere . There was no phones , there was no cell phones , there was no , nothing . And they didn't even have the little maps on the computer . They had just the big maps and that's it .
And old school , baby analog , and I wasn't smart enough to read one . But you made it . I don't know how , brother , when I think Mick right now , I think , oh , it had to be strictly God and himself . So I went and held these revivals here . I'm just a
¶ Disillusionment With Church Leadership
kid .
So were you credentialed in the church of God or you just tried ? No , I never . Yeah .
You just had connections . Oh , okay , yes , they could . They would let me start and then I would have to get . That's cool . So I was doing that . And you know how the devil works . Yeah , very well , I'm the type person If I'm in , I'm sold out . You're not gonna get half of me . Yeah , you get all of me or nothing .
And I thought I expected everyone else to be that way .
If you , as a pastor , I held you to a higher standard and I ain't gonna say every pastor that I stayed with was like this , but the majority , is sad to say , they were they would talk about how to gear the service , how to get the people to give more , and then the things that they'd done , that they would do outside of church that I actually seen .
It was just heart wrenching to know that they're living two lives . Yeah , and I expected them to be to hold their selves to a higher standard , and it began to discourage me and let me down .
So you saw all this in the traveling around ? Yeah , is that how you got all that information ? Yes , and then I knew I wanted to marry Shelly and oh , so you didn't marry her yet when you started doing them ?
No , this is before we got married , okay , but we were together . Out of our whole history that's the only time that we were , and I guess she'll say we broke up , but I don't think we .
But anyway , I took her ring you were dating the Lord for a period , yeah , and I took her ring back , and different things and this thought my life was going in a different direction or whatever .
I was confused , and I was on the road and I thought , man , I can't be out here doing this , and these people that I'm , they're not even , and I just got my eyes on man , yeah , it's what I done in the off of the go .
So before I came back , though , she says you actually broke up with her .
I know , baby , I'm sorry the last church that I went to that I held a revival in . I went there and I preached the week and the pastor really stressed how bad he needed help . You know how bad he needed someone there to .
Like to you , or just in a message , or what .
No To you . Yeah , okay , he really would love for me to stay at the Yumbi Mount . And you know , I guess I was young . I didn't know which direction my life was going to go . I thought I was doing the right thing and that's why I preached about . My first message in your church was you can be doing the right thing for the wrong reason , yeah , you know .
So I thought staying there and helping him was what I was supposed to do , and at that moment I got out of God's will for my life .