¶ Empowering Women Through Faith and Healing
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It is a beautiful day , but it said it's about to storm here in East Texas , so we'll see how the weather holds up . Hopefully it does not kill my electricity , because that would be terrible . So today with me I have a special guest , that is , a author , a minister , a empowering speaker for women . Marquette , how are you doing tonight ?
I am doing amazing tonight . How are you doing tonight , Steph ?
I'm doing great . That's okay . So before we go any further , if you don't mind probably a mix of your audience , my audience just kind of say and tell us who is Marquette Walker . Like , what do you do ? What gets you out of the bed every day ? What gets you motivated to go do what God has called you to do ? Just tell us a little bit about yourself .
Absolutely . But first and foremost , I would like to honor God first , who's the head of my life ? Secondly , I would like you for allowing me to be a part of such an amazing platform . Thank you so much for having me . But who is Barquette L Walker ? Well , god has entrusted me with many of hats . I am a wife , I am a mother .
I'm a mother of two of my biological kids , young men 29 and 30 years old . One just turned 29 a couple of days ago , and then I am a bonus mom to four . I'm a Gigi to six . So and if anyone does not know what Gigi is , that I am a grandmother but I don't want to say grandmother , I need to say a Gigi , I'm still young .
My mom's the same way .
Yes , yes , don't call me Gigi , don't call me grandma , just yet , give me a little time . Give me a little time .
Well , if it makes you feel better , you don't look like you're a grandmother , so that's a big plus . Right there , your husband's probably saying amen on that .
Well , thank you so much . Thank you so much . What else ? I am an entrepreneur . I am a minister . What else do I do ? I'm a motivational speaker and I am out here just helping women heal so they can win . That is Marquette L Walker .
So I appreciate you saying that I was talking to my wife . She asked a little bit about you . She's like so who's this lady you're interviewing ? So I kind of told her I went and visited at your website . By the way , if you are curious this whole time while you're watching the live stream , ladies and gentlemen , you can go down below in the show notes .
Her website is there . You can go after the live stream , go click on it and see what she's all about . Make connections with her , go follow her on all of her social media . We just connected on TikTok I don't know if we have yet on Instagram , but we're going to be networking like crazy and doing it for the kingdom .
So , in this space that you are in right now , like I said , I was talking with my wife and there is a great need and , I think , a vast lack of ministering to divorced or single mothers .
Absolutely .
It seems like it's kind of been pushed to the wayside . I have a few in our church and I was talking to my wife and I'm like man , this is a good on point ministry . Like you're going to change generations by doing this Like generations . Like you're not just changing the mother's life , you're changing the kid's life .
You're changing the way they perceive their mother or even their stepfather . My wife is a stepmother and she's felt that she's filled that role for the last . Uh , let's see , we're almost coming up on 10 years and then now we just had our new baby , last at the of last year . So now she understands what being from you is , but explain .
So let's talk about your , let's go back to kind of the beginning . What was it in your earlier faith experience and your upbringing that led you to this type of ministry ? Was there something that happened before or was it kind of in your adult life it happened ?
No , actually . So I'm glad you asked that question , which is such a good question . I was born and raised in the church , so that's all I knew . You came out and I was in church , right , and as I was growing up , I have a mom and my dad . They were married for about 18 years .
But as I grew up in the church , I saw as a young girl and you know , girls they start planning weddings when they're like seven and eight years old Awesomely , they seem so happy and loving and all I can say as a young girl is that's going to be me one day . That's what I want to be like . I want to be happily married .
But no one told me , no one told me the stuff that goes on behind the scenes . You know you got to fertilize your grass , you got to till it up as well , right . And you have to cultivate your marriage in order for it to work . But no one told me that . So I was so in love with the idea of marriage . And you know what the thing is .
Churches are not talking about this . This is taboo . They're not . They're straying away from or staying away from it because it's just something that they don't want to deal with . But this is needed in the church . Do you know ?
I was looking at the divorce rate and how in the church , we have the highest divorce rate , which should not be Really , Because marriage yes , marriage is god's playing field yeah this is god's playing field . Look , this is god's playing field . Why is our divorce rate so high in the church ?
Right , because no one is talking about the issues that come along with it . But that is what framed this as I was growing up . Growing up and I'm like , okay , okay , I'm going to do this . So 1995 came um , I married my kid's father . I did a little backwards , y'all . Some of us do it backwards . I am a kid's person who got married .
Right , you know it's all a jacked up , but anyway trying to get it together . And so 95 came . I'm not knowing the ins and outs of marriage . I was just in love with the idea of all these happy marriages in church . Right , but that's not the case .
Half of the marriages in church , the men or the women they're putting on that happy face or that church face . And they could have been , just they had a big old argument in the car before they got in the church .
Right .
And I never saw that Right . And so now that's marriage one , that's one . So now that ended up in a divorce , I still have not learned and I'm still holding on to that idea of I'm going to have me a happy marriage Right , that's what I saw and that's what it's going to be , not knowing you have to put in the work for that .
So now we're on marriage number two . Now in the whole process of this did anybody try to speak into your life and say anything at all ? No one , and that's why that's one of the things that I want to help out . We'll talk about that later on . I have that down . Is that ? That was ? That was that was the problem .
And so now I'm on two , now three , but now I'm dealing with grief and let me back up a little bit . So , going into these marriages I want to let you know is that my mom and my dad got a divorce . I was 11 years old . 11 years old . They got a divorce and all I can see is the hurt , the rejection , the pain my mom felt , and I internalize that .
So that's that childhood trauma . I'm carrying that with me . So now I'm married , so now I'm going into a marriage . Mind you , I got the backpack of childhood trauma with me .
I got my backpack on , but I got childhood trauma with me , and so I'm carrying that in one , carrying that in two , because I still have not been delivered from that childhood trauma or got healed from the childhood trauma . Now we're going into three . My mother passed away .
Now I have a brief that I unpacked into my backpack with my trauma , still have not been , still have not dealt with any of that .
And then , at this point though at this point is when God he started to give me some downfalls , but still not knowing what to do with them , yet still not understanding it , but still at no point no one in church said you know what , baby girl , let's talk about this .
You're on marriage number two , or even before I got to marriage number two , hey , let's have a conversation , let's see how we can help you out with that . But , like I stated earlier , we're not talking about this in church or corporate any of that . So we have all these divorces going on .
I think a big problem in the church is that the only time we get involved in somebody's business is if we're talking about it . We're gossiping .
Could you say that again ?
The only time we get involved in each other's business is when we decide to talk about it to somebody else Gossiping , gossiping , right . How many times could somebody have not went through what they went through ? If only somebody who saw something actually said , hey , here's what I see , and just start asking questions .
Most of the time , if you start asking questions , they'll start answering out of their own mouth and realizing what they're saying .
Absolutely . You're absolutely right , and you know what . It's so funny that you say that ? Because I had to deal with the shame . You know why ? Because people were talking about me instead of helping me . How many marriages is she on ? Well , I think it's the second , or I'm not sure . It's so many of them I can't even count .
Or she can get them , but she can't keep them . Or how is it that she got this many ? How is it that she got this many ? I can't even get one . You know , I had to deal with that shame of people talking about it instead of , you know , pulling me to the side saying let's talk .
Let me ask you this when you when you know , I mean you can tell when you walk in a room and somebody saying something they shouldn't especially if it's about you everybody shuts up and all of them look .
Well , when you were at this church in this whole time , did you stay in that same church or did you move churches because of the shame and you didn't want to confront that every Sunday ?
I moved churches . I changed churches and I'm going to tell you I think it was a different husband each time . Um , I bet I went . Every time I went to a different church I got another one . But , um , let me tell you it's so funny and I tell people sorry I tell them .
No , I tell them um , I laugh at it now , but back then I'm like can somebody here to help me out ? Let's talk about this
¶ Overcoming Trauma and Finding Healing
Now . You , you traded on number three . What was the problem ? And not three . And I'm going to tell you now . When I got to number three , I had to start naming these marriages . I had so many of them . So number one was , um , just naive , I just didn't know . Naive , right ? that's fair then we're going into marriage number two .
That one was shame on me . My mother told me no , you got the same man in a different body , the same man . So that's where that familiar spirit comes from right . And so that was on me , because I should have listened , I could have saved that one . Now we're going on to number three . I said what was I thinking Right ?
So I lost my mom before the third one . Now , if my mother was Stephen , I'm going to tell you that would have never happened . She was like , oh , absolutely not Right . And so when I woke up out of all of that and went through my grieving process , I woke up and I was like what was I thinking ? This is definitely not it . This is not it .
And so I'm very short-lived . And then , at this point , stephen , I said all right , oh , let me back up this is what the light bulb went . So my all right , oh , let me back up this is what the light bulb went . So my dad that's so funny . Now , remember , my dad divorced my mom . So I'm already , I'm I'm upset with him .
Yeah , I'm feeling some kind of way right . And so I got to a place that I did not forgive him . I , you know , I won't have nothing to do with you . You heard my mother . So my dad , I invited him to the third , the fourth one , and he said OK , I know , marriages have their ups and downs .
I'll give you the first one , I'll even give you the second one , but by the time you get to three , there's got to be something wrong with you . So at this point I was like Steve , I said the nerve , the nerve for you to say that you divorced my mom , the nerve . But , the thing is , yeah , I remember .
I remember the scripture that said honor thy father and thy mother that your days may be long on the earth . Let me tell you , stephen , I saw my days dwindling down . I called my dad and I had to tell him about himself . I had to hurry up and call him back and ask for forgiveness .
Now , mind you , when I say hurry up , it wasn't the next day , it wasn't the next week , it wasn't even the next month , I think it was a couple months . But I had to call him back and ask for forgiveness because what my dad had and what he did to my mom , that was between him and God . That was not between me and my dad , right ?
So I asked for forgiveness . And then that's when God started to show me and give me some downloads and say , okay , I'm trying to show you your childhood trauma . The shame is all trying to catch up with you , but you're steadily running away when it's trying to get you to a place to heal .
So I'm bleeding in every single marriage I'm bleeding , bleeding on folks , because I'm hurting , I'm carrying all this stuff with me and have not healed from it . So I took six years off . I did not date , I didn't talk to anyone . Oh , and they came for me , but I would say , nope , I don't want to talk to you .
They was like well , we can just be friends . Nope , I don't want to be your friend . You can have my number . Nope , I don't want your number . I have a friend in Jesus . That's all I need . So I did that for like six years . Nope , you can't date me , I'll date myself . And so it was me and God .
I dated God for six years and people say well , what is that ? What does that mean ? What does that look like ? I meditated , I prayed , I fasted , I journaled , I was in the word . I just really was intentional about my relationship with God . Then , here come number four , now this one .
I named this one , I thought I had it because I thought I did it the right way , I did it God's way . But I still have one that was a little jacked up a little bit , and so , and also , I didn't . I didn't have any accountability either . So I didn't have any grace , I didn't have any patience , I didn't have any forgiveness .
That is a big one , accountability . But that's on both sides One person who's willing to say something when they see somebody stepping out of line , and the other is receiving it and being able to wear it as wisdom , instead of harboring those feelings and allowing it to be church hurt when it's actually gleaning wisdom .
Absolutely , absolutely . So I recognize that I had to hold myself accountable in all of this . That's when I realized I am believing in every relationship , carrying trauma , carrying shame , carrying guilt , carrying fear , mistrust all this stuff I'm carrying in every relationship . And so , for thought , I had it .
It was a little messed up , very short lived , and then I was back to the drum , back at the well . I used to call myself the woman at the well . You know she was married five times . I am that woman at the well Right .
So God met me back at the well and I tell people no matter what you go through , god is still there waiting on you , waiting on you . So he met me back at the well and blessed me with my forever husband right now . He's awesome . He's amazing .
We love to let people know , even though you have ups and downs , you can still make it through and your marriage can still be successful . And we've been teaming up doing this thing . He's been managing all of this . So I want to tell you , steven , that's who's been sending you the emails . It was Gabe . It wasn't me , it was Gabe .
That's awesome . That's awesome . Hey , it's a team effort . It really is . To make it work , both sides have to be a hundred percent . It's not a 50 , 50 , it's a 100% , 100% . So , kind of leading into the next , the next question so what was what was something ?
Uh , we're talking about impact of personal struggles , but what was something that you use now , uh , to minister to women ? Now , do you also minister to men of divorce , or just the women , everybody ?
everybody . You know what I didn't realize until after I first started telling my story that so many people have been through the same thing that I'm going through . And then I spoke at a conference and I had men coming up to me saying I've been married five times or four times , or three times . I'm like wow .
So it's not just women , it's men , and they also . They're looking for help . How can you help me through this process ? How can I not make the same mistake again ? And your question was how am I helping people ?
Yeah , kind of what , some key things that you learned along the way in in your marriages and divorces . Like what is it that that is fueling your wisdom to other people ? Like what , what have you learned and what have you walked through to get to that place ?
let me tell you , the main thing is accountability . I've learned to meet people where they are , because everyone is at a different level . Somebody might not be where I am , or they could be where I am , but we have to meet people where they are .
But most importantly is accountability when you can hold yourself accountable for some of the things that you go through . That is step number one , because if you cannot find the accountability in any of this , we got some issues going on . We got some issues .
All right , so let's discuss your winning women , the initiatives , its goals , maybe some success stories of women who have been empowered through this program . Tell us a little bit about that .
Yeah , so with winning women , that is my main thing , and what that is is because I was focused on women , because I thought about myself , and so I was focused on women , but then extended it to men , um as well . So eventually we'll change the name , I guess .
But , um , what has fueled that is I want people to heal , I want women to heal , I want men to heal , um , and that's what has fueled that , because I know I've went years hurting um , bleeding , and so that's what fueled that . Winning women , that was the start of it . And then the next thing is I want people
¶ The Power of Forgiveness and Healing
. The things that I've learned is I had to forgive . You have got to forgive .
Come on , that's a good one .
Yeah , if you cannot forgive , you cannot move forward . That will hold you stagnant where you are , and I know we serve a god of elevation and not stagnation , and so the enemy wants to hold us stagnant where we are .
A lot of people won't heal and can't move forward because they won't forgive , and so that's another before we go on , because this is this is very important .
This is probably , uh , from from what I've seen , uh , healing cannot happen unless forgiveness comes first . Amen , how , how do you walk somebody through that ? Maybe it's a woman , maybe it's a man , whatever they've been hurt , I'm a man of divorce . Like my first marriage , I learned everything that is now making my second marriage perfect . Like I went .
I only learned the lesson once , but I learned it hard the first time , cause that's how I remember , like , what are some tactics , what are some key points to help someone right now , who says oh wait , but you don't know what they've done to me . You don't know what they did . You don't know what they put me through .
There's no way that I can forgive them . I don't have to forgive them when actually the word of God says , yes , you do .
Absolutely . And you know what ? And that's what I say is what does the word of God says ? The word of God tells us that we have to forgive , right and in order . And , like you said , in order for us to move forward which was myself I cannot move forward until I forgave my father . That's where it started .
So I tell people , you have got to start with self . Number one is first , once you know who you are that's another big issue . We don't know who we are . We're still trying to figure out who we are and once we understand who we are , whose we are and how God loves us , it's easy for us to forgive , because now we understand who God is to us .
Look at all the stuff that we do and God still forgive us . He forgave us . And I tell people look back over your life and look where you are right now . How do you think you got to this place ? And that's where that grace comes in . We have to be able to have grace , we have to be able to have patience . Everyone is on a different .
Everyone has a journey to walk , Everyone has to go on a journey . But until you know who you are and whose you are , then you will be able to allow God . You let God show you who you are , then you allow him to come in . You can't help , but when you have God on the inside , you can't help but to forgive .
That's right . I've seen time and time again people they define themselves by their mess ups . They define themselves by their hang ups , their issues , their sin . They define themselves by their relationships . They think if , if I'm married to this type of person , then now I have value . If I'm married to this type of person , then now I have value .
If I'm married to this type of person , well , now I can be successful , now I can do what I'm wanting to do in life . Now I can move forward and forgive that last relationship .
If I just have that next person and really , like you said , you dated God for six years , it takes you getting real with God and realizing that God is all that you need , and then he will supply . Then he will supply beyond .
That's it . That is it . Right there , you have set a mouthful when you understand that God is all you need and he's going to supply the rest of it . But first of all , he got to know that he is all he needs to you . He is your number one , he is your focus and that's the thing I tell people .
If you start somewhere building that relationship with God , that's your first and foremost , that's your priority right there . If you can get to a place to build that relationship , then you can go anywhere after that .
Yeah , even Jesus said hate your mother , hate your father . He wasn't saying to actually hate people , but he was saying you should love God so much that it looks like you hate everybody else . That should be your priority . I love my wife . She is my best friend . I love that little baby girl on there Sorry if y'all hear her in the background .
She's only seven months old . She's screaming and crying . She wants to be healed all the time , but they come second to God , absolutely . Now you got a conference coming up , right , I do . Power of we . So that's we right ? Yeah , power of we 2024 . Where is it ? What's the theme ? Uh , what are you expecting to happen at this conference ?
absolutely so . It is the power of weed , and let me explain it , because people see weed , they see women , empowerment , but this is the power of weed winning everyone , because we want to cultivate everyone . It will be in Lake Junaluska , north Carolina . It is 25 miles outside of Asheville , north Carolina , so up there in the mountains , very pretty .
In the fall it will be October 11th through the 13th .
That's my birthday . Really it really is . Oh my goodness .
That's my birthday . Well , happy early birthday .
I'm glad y'all are putting something together to celebrate it . I appreciate that .
Come on , you know what , then we'll all , absolutely , we're going to celebrate your birthday for you Right at the conference .
Come on to the conference and we'll celebrate you too , I love it , but yes , so it is built off of family dynamic .
We want everyone Because you know , women are always being empowered . They go to all of these women conferences . You don't hear a lot of um men conferences . I know they're out there , but you don't hear a lot of them that's because men don't need any help , right ?
they're so strong , they never have to solve , they don't have to think about their problems , they just , they just , oh , we'll be okay . And then we end up with mental health issues there you go , there you .
So we are attacking the family dynamic . We want everyone . We want the husband , we want the wives , we want the children there , and we'll have stuff for everyone . We have workshops for the men , we have workshops for the women . So , everyone have a safe space and then we can also come together and worship God .
So Friday night will be a night of worship and our opening night , and then Saturday morning will be some breakout sessions , workshops , and then Saturday night will be a gala so we can come in with our nice attire one more attire . Then Sunday will be our closeout service . We'll have another awesome time in God praise and worship time .
What we just talked about her 2024 power of wheat . All the information , all of her contact information If you ever need to reach out to her . If you are someone suffering , if you are a divorcee or divorcee and you don't know what to do , you don't know how to handle the pain . It's real pain . It's comparable as suffering a loss in your family .
It really is , and especially if you've been married a while . My parents were divorced after 30 years of marriage and so it was a big deal . They're still sometimes living in the echo of that pain because there was a separation when God united something .
¶ Promoting Social Media and Website
So make sure , down in the show notes , click the link . It's her website . Go to it , reach out to her , follow her on all social media platforms . Marquette , thank you so much for joining me tonight . Thank y'all for joining the live stream . If you haven't yet , please give a thumbs up to this video . Also , make sure you subscribe .
Go to Facebook , go to Instagram , tiktok to see daily reels and weekly videos . Make sure , on YouTube , you hit that bell notification so that you can see every time I put out a new video . Thank you all so much and I hope that you all have an amazing rest of your night .