So I had impossible standards on my first wife . That wasn't fair to her and it also wasn't fair to me , because then I was never happy , because my impossible standards were never met and then hers were never met because I was supposed to be like her dad , which is a common thing .
I was supposed to be like her dad , have a regular job , a good paying job and be there for 40 years , 50 years , and that wasn't who I was , and so it was a constant .
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Well , the same thing with us . Like I said earlier , she's the savior and I'm the spender . Well , when we got married , I was .
I just went about a year or so doing odd jobs fresh out of jail , like $10 an hour , not making much money at all , not having my own place , not having my own vehicle because I had to sell it to get out of jail to the bail bosman , and so when we got married , I had had a job , I think solid maybe two months , and she said yes .
She wouldn't say yes until I had a full-time job , so I got one , and then I locked her down and we didn't really go through any marriage counseling either .
And so when we get married , I'm killing myself with this job Like I'm loving it , but I'm working sometimes 80 , 90 hours a week , and I'm talking about hard labor and I come in and my new wife is wanting to be all intimate and I'm so exhausted that I don't want to do anything .
I just want to be still on the couch , and so that was a conflict in our marriage . And then , when it would come to spending the money , I didn't , because I was killing myself and I was working the real job and she was in an office .
She was still making more than me , but I was killing myself and so I felt like the money was , the rights to the money belonged to me almost . I mean , that's not what I said or really how I felt , but it was how I acted . That's how I acted . It was like if I wanted something off of Amazon , I'm gonna order it . I didn't have to ask her .
I make the money , but I didn't . But I made my money , so it's my half and , of course , the first marriage . I was very selfish in that , like I had an idea of what I thought a wife was supposed to be like and she wasn't supposed to step outside of it . So I had impossible standards on my first wife .
That wasn't fair to her and it also wasn't fair to me , because then I was never happy , because my impossible standards were never met and then hers were never met because I was supposed to be like her dad , which is a common thing .
I was supposed to be like her dad , have a regular job , a good paying job , and be there for 40 years , 50 years , and that wasn't who I was , and so it was a constant all the time , until I don't know what it was . I guess because I started listening to Dave Ramsey's podcast .
Like , I found his podcast and I actually listened to it because I got a lot of road time going back and forth to different jobs doing photography and stuff and I'm like , listen , obviously this guy knows what he's talking about .
All these people I'm hearing their death free screams and stuff and I'm like , you know , I talked my wife into getting me a brand new truck . I had a 2020 , fresh off the lot , colorado . I loved it . It was my first truck , took pictures with it and everything . My wife was so happy . But then I realized something was off with her too . She was .
She wasn't happy . At the same time , that was my second new car since we had been married and she still had an 09 Honda Civic , the one that she still drives , yeah . And so I was like , okay , if I'm gonna be the man of the house and say , let's do something , I'm gonna do it with all my heart .
So I said , listen , do I have your permission to get rid of this truck , downgrading car and try to get the same amount of money it would take to pay off the rest of our credit cards ? She was like no , you don't have to . She immediately no , no , you don't have to do that , you don't have to do that .
I was upset at first , but I'm not now and this is like after a year and a half or so . We had it and but I , I , I decided that my family's future was worth more to me than a truck or my pride . Right Cause that's not the best car in the world , but I mean it's , it runs . It gives me from point of there's no issues with it .
I mean even that's what she said , that's why she hates it . She's like it looks like a ban . I said no , it doesn't , it's an SUV . And so I , they wrote me a $7,000 check and I came home that night and we paid off the last of our credit cards and I hadn't looked back . Yeah , sometimes I pull up next to those nice trucks .
You know the jacked up a little bit , the tinted windows you know , but that that's what we're called to do in marriage is to sacrifice our own stuff for everything .
She , she has . I feel she probably doesn't pick up on this , but I feel she's never loved me more because I actually did sacrifice for the family . I stopped buying so much on Amazon . Now the stuff I buy is only if it makes me money in my company and it only comes out of the company's account . I never touch our money for anything .
Matter of fact , while she's been pregnant , I've been putting several hundred dollars a week into our savings account so that we'll have a hefty savings account when that baby's born .
And because I'm sacrificing for her , it has skyrocketed skyrocketed our intimacy life because I'm actually being the man I'm supposed to be and it makes her honor me more , love me more , respect me more , because she sees that I'm not doing things for me .
It goes back to what you said earlier , that we like to praise , we like to have our belt rub .
Yeah , he's a dog , he can't get off the dog thing . It's that security thing .
Yeah , it really is .
Yeah .
I don't know if you knew this . You know I have a Harley , so do you know whose idea was to buy that Harley ? Was it hers ? It was hers .
Really .
I did not know that . She asked me one day . She said do you want a boat or you want a Harley ? Ha ha , ha ha . Well , we live in Texas . My wife ain't getting the water in Texas up north , which she would , because there were snakes and they weren't alligators . So I said if I get a boat , are you gonna go swim ?
No , Is that why you didn't come to ? Oh , I know you did come to Lake . Yeah , she didn't get in the water . That's what it was . She didn't get in the water , so I went out and we got a Harley . The first time we went through financial peace , we had to have our pastor do mediation , because a budget was a huge fight . Ha ha , ha , ha it it .
It was Said , christmas was one of our biggest fights . Now , was it so ? It was you that wanted to go into debt for it , or you just wanna spend all the money ?
She's going to tell on me . Anyway , you know what you I think . I think Jack's crying right now . I was like you should get . Jack Go take care of the baby ? Yeah , she'd go . We'd go shopping ? Yeah , and she has . You know she's Dave Ramsey , so she has somewhat set aside for each kid . We learn real quick . Are you ready ?
Fair is not equal and equals isn't fair . Okay , so if everyone gets $50 , that's fair , but I might be able to buy one of my kids a whole lot more presents because they want little things . So it's not equal . Yeah , okay .
So that's what she meant by that . Like , tristan would think his best present was the biggest box , and it wasn't always true , but then you get one present , yeah .
So so she'd go shopping , we'd go shopping , we'd get all these stuff wrapped and then , about a week before Christmas , I'd go shop and man and I just swiped it yeah , it's easy , because you know what my kids need to have . Oh yeah , and I had four boys .
So when you bought remote control cars , you bought five because I had to be able to play with them .
Well , that's a good dad . That's the right of the father . You know that's a good dad .
Yeah , you know you gotta check to make sure they work . Yeah , so yeah , christmas was difficult and I want to know if I made it through this , if we made it through this seriously . If you ever have time , our story is nothing but the grace of God .
Actually I told her I'm pretty sure you were standing there , but I got another mic set up and everything that one time we would come on and y'all could share .
Yeah , it's still nothing , but the grace of God that we're still married . So I did in fact . Sorry , lori . I told her once , once in a counseling session , that she was the dumbest woman I ever know , because I would have divorced myself a long time ago .
Well , yeah , I mean True thirds . Yeah , so that's money .