Welcome to this week's Failed Critics Review, where for numerous reasons (too busy being a vigilante, boarding up his house for the impending Zombie apocalypse, being asleep, and having scurvy) we didn't get to the cinema. Oh, and our planned review of The Master was shelved because it's only showing in 'that London' for a fortnight. Never fear though, we still manage to fill over an hour with what we've watched this week, as well as our reaction to Disney's purchase of Lucasfilm (and the announ...
Nov 06, 2012•1 hr 9 min
Welcome to the second of our Bond Special podcasts - in this week's Triple Bill we name our favourite non-Bond performances from our randomly allocated Bond actors. In the case of James and Owen, it was a matter of pretty much naming three performances they had seen from their actors (George Lazenby and Roger Moore), and James' ongoing efforts to acquire a certain Lazenby performance in a 1993 Emmanuelle TV-movie proved sadly fruitless. Join us next week for our reaction to the latest Star Wars ...
Nov 04, 2012•43 min
Duh, duh,duh, duuuuuhhh, duh, duh duuuuuuuuhhh! Bond is back on the big screens, and to celebrate Failed Critics recorded a podcast devoted to all things Bond, James Bond. To discuss the latest outing of 007: Licence to Kill we gathered Steve (Licence to Thrill), Owen (Licence to Ill), James (Licence to Grill), and Gerry (Licence to Pop Down t'Mill - because he's a northerner). We also discuss some classic (and not-so-classic) Bond films, and attempt the most shamefully embarrassing Pop Quiz of ...
Oct 30, 2012•1 hr 16 min
Welcome to this week’s Failed Critics Review – unfortunately delayed due to technical issues. Gerry is technically an old man who can’t stay up past 11pm apparently. Anyway, better late than never! On this week’s podcast we review the latest instalment of the Big Fish in the Found Footage pond – Paranormal Activity 4. We also catch up on what the critics have been watching in the past week, including the wonderful Safety Not Guaranteed, the utterly bonkers Holy Motors, and the little-seen Speed ...
Oct 25, 2012•1 hr 18 min
In honour of this weeks Triple Bill - TV-to-Film adaptations - we upped the budget slightly and went to the continent on holiday to record it. Owen booked us into an unfinished hotel, James got drunk on local alcoholic concoctions, Gerry got into fights with all the foreigners over sunbeds, and Steve found love. The end result is flashier, but ultimately less satisfying than the original series - unlike our choices of our favourite TV-to-Film adaptations! Next week we return to normality with th...
Oct 20, 2012•39 min
Welcome one and all to this week's Failed Critics Review, where we're doing something a little different - talking about TV instead of film. You'll get to hear what we think about programmes we've been watching this week, as well as the shows we think you really should be watching. Don't worry - the Review returns to normal next when we review Paranormal Activity 4 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Oct 17, 2012•1 hr 17 min
I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for perfect sound quality, I can tell you I don't have money for decent equipment. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a pretty short podcasting career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you download the podcast, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will put...
Oct 12, 2012•43 min
Play the creepy music. Watch out for strange noises. Hide your children in fear. This week James returns to Failed Critics! Oh, and we also review creepy-as-hell scare-fest Sinister. Also on the podcast that dare not speak the name of a hideous entity from the depths of Hell for fear of granting it extra power (basically that Neeson-starring revenge sequel), we review Paranormal Activity and the ‘found footage’ genre, Will Ferrell’s latest comedy The Campaign, and Gerry decides it would be okay ...
Oct 09, 2012•1 hr 5 min
Welcome to Triple Bill, where this week we discuss our favourite films of the 1980s. James was too ill to record, and he's still feeling dreadful so this week's pithy and witty write-up is absolutely nowhere to be seen. Still, who needs that when you've got the critics discussing the best decade of cinema EVER! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Oct 05, 2012•43 min
Sadly (or thankfully depending on your point of view) James was absent from this week's Failed Critics Review, in which Steve, Owen and Gerry review sci-fi time-travel headfuck Looper. Luckily James's future-self has told him that they managed to pull together an excellent podcast in the mouthy old bastard's absence. In honour of the big man himself, they also reviewed a Bruce Willis film each - and maybe someone suggested everyone really should go and watch Taken 2. James hasn't a clue to be ho...
Oct 02, 2012•55 min
After a less than stellar summer of blockbusters this year, the critics turn their attention to the films we hope to be entertained over the winter, including a number of films getting ready to take at run at the 'awards season'. Sadly Owen was still pulliung a sickie, and Gerry pissed off after his bit to get his much-needed beauty sleep. Still, Steve and James manage to just about keep it all together like the pros that they are. Join us next week for the FC Review, where we review Looper, as ...
Sep 28, 2012•44 min
This week on Failed Critics we talk about the story of a youngster with no friends and an unhealthy obsession with ropey zombie films. And as well as moaning at Owen pulling a sickie, we also review stop-motion kiddie-horror film ParaNorman! Thank you, we're here all week. Please try the fish. Despite Owen's absence, we still put together a meaty podcast for you this week - with reviews of the latest Stiller/Vaughan comedy The Watch, Hidden (Cache), and Stanley Kubrick's 1956 heist film The Kill...
Sep 25, 2012•53 min
Failed Critic Cocktail 1 measure emotional old man 1 measure grumpy Northerner dash of vigilante a handful of anti-Star Wars vitriol 2 spoons of the obligitory Star Wars choice 1 terrible Begbie inpression Shake, and serve over headphones. This week the critics choose their favourite film scenes that take place in a bar/pub/place that serves booze. We've got surprises, tons of crossover, and the usual fawning over Michael Fassbender. Join us next week for reviews of ParaNorman in the Failed Crit...
Sep 21, 2012•31 min
Brothers. Gangsters. Heroes. That doesn't apply to any of us, if we're honest. Except maybe heroes. Steve chased someone from a kebab shop once. We are critics though, and this week we're tackling prohibition-era Shia the Beef-starring movie Lawless. We also hear from James as he struggles to wax lyrical about two of his favourite films so far this year - Berberian Sound Studio and The Imposter - as well as hearing reviews on Barry Lyndon and Glengary Glen Ross. James was hungover and without no...
Sep 18, 2012•1 hr 1 min
Freeze punks! You have the right to remain silent and listen to Failed Critics Triple Bill. Anything you do say will be ignored because, well, we can't hear you. It's not live. You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney, we're not going to provide one. Especially if you're the victim of a kebab-based vigilante attack from a film podcast host. Where were we? Oh yes - it's Failed Critics Triple Bill, and this week in honour of the excellent Dredd 3D we're naming our favour...
Sep 14, 2012•55 min
In this desolate future there are thousands of films, and the only thing seperating the criminally bad film from the public are the men and woman of the Hall of Film Justice. We are the judge, juries, and executioners of horrific cinema. We are the law! On this week's Failed Critics Review we give our verdict on Dredd 3D, and find out whether it is able to lay to rest the ghost of the atrocious Stallone effort. Also reviewed this week are The Inkeepers, Blade Runner (Final Cut), and Jurassic Par...
Sep 12, 2012•52 min
After a week away, we welcome back Failed Critics Triple Bill. This week the critics choose their favourite real-life stories that they want to see made into films. Not only that, but they tell us why and how, and even cast their imaginary films. This was one of our favourite recordings, and there are some great stories here - including the only man to kill someone with a crossbow in WWII, an Opera-loving Russian wrestler, and a man who made the Suez Canal disappear. Also, James recorded this on...
Sep 07, 2012•1 hr 11 min
The return of the Fat White Duke – yep, James is back from London and is here to tell us about Bowiefest, the first film festival devoted to the cinematic work of David Bowie. Also this week, the Failed Critics review Total Recall, a film that is definitely a remake of the 1990 Arnie classic, regardless of what the studio tells us. We also discuss what we’ve been watching this week including The Hunger Games, Labyrinth, Very Bad things, and Jean Claude van Damme’s classic Time Cop. Join us on Fr...
Sep 05, 2012•1 hr 20 min
Welcome to this week's Failed Critics Review - coming to you live from, among other places, James' car. That's right. This week our main review is Pixar's latest film - 'Brave'. As well as giving our opinions on the film, we discuss the success of the studio and whether or not they're a bigger draw these days than the Disney brand. In other news James finds a film that doesn't make him cry in The Expendables 2, Gerry ponders society after watching Dreams of a Life, Steve continues to confuse him...
Aug 28, 2012•52 min
Not much of a blurb this week. James is off on holiday, and you all know the drill already. This week the critics discuss their favourite ever fight scenes, including appearances from Jackie Chan, Roddy Piper, and...Luke Wilson? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Aug 25, 2012•31 min
This week we welcome Gerry and his shitty microphone back to the Failed Critics Review – and thank God he’s back, as when the discussion turned to the latest Justice League movie rumours and Aquaman’s name was mentioned, James was hopelessly out of his depth. When we finally got around to reviewing films we discussed our differing reactions to The Bourne Legacy, Gerry’s Failed Listener assignment Withnail & I, and impending nuclear apocalypse. We seem to have got the hang of keeping the podc...
Aug 21, 2012•59 min
How fitting that our second Triple Bill should focus on our favourite sequels. It's almost like we plan this stuff (we really don't). Sadly Gerry is still absent, and taking inspiration from one of our choices this week we considered casting a sound-a-like and cutting in excerpts of his previous appearances. In the end we'll just explain his disappearance off-mic and hope the audience buy it. How very Hollywood. In our effort to trim the fat (not talking about Gerry now) this is our shortest pod...
Aug 18, 2012•40 min
What would you rather hear us review? Step Up 4: Miami Heat? Or a selection of films chosen by our beloved band of listeners? Well, I hope it's the latter as this week's Failed Critics Review is a FAILED LISTENERS SPECIAL! Sadly Gerry's own short-sightedness means he's missing this week, but in his absense Steve, James, and Owen review films chosen by our listeners - including this week's main review; Alfred Hitchcock's Vertigo. Coming up later this week we have a Failed Listeners Triple Bill po...
Aug 15, 2012•45 min
Welcome to the first ever standalone Failed Critics Triple Bill! Sick of being the overlooked middle-child of the Failed Critics podcast, Triple Bill is here with it's own series - with more chat, more dubious opinions, and MORE EXPLOSIONS! This week we discuss our favourite ever sports movies. Despite being sports fans, a few of the team struggled this week. Will Steve have to pick all three Mighty Ducks films? Tune in to find out. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information....
Aug 10, 2012•58 min
Welcome to a brave new world in shambolic film podcasting. This is the dawn of a new era etc etc. The first episode of Failed Critics Review - the new weekly film podcast just focussing on what we've watched this week, and the big release. Don't worry though, just because Triple Bill has got it's own Frasier-style spin-off doesn't mean that you're not still getting the full Failed Critics experience. Strap in! This week we review Ted, the feature debut of Family Guy creator Seth MacFarlane. We a...
Aug 08, 2012•1 hr 24 min
Holy half-baked opinions Batman! This week our very own Rogues Gallery of Villains (Gerry - The Joker, Owen - The Riddler, James - The Penguin, Steve - Catwoman) not only review The Dark Knight Rises, but also tackle all things Batman in a bumper 2 hour Batman Special. THWACK! In the opening section we discuss our randomly-allocated Batman films of the past - including Gerry's near-breakdown over the 1966 movie and Owen looking for the positives in Batman and Robin. Plus Steve puts us all to sha...
Jul 22, 2012•2 hr 1 min
Attention ladies! Are you ready for the big show?! Four hungry young men - well, three relatively young men and one older and always hungry man - are here for your entertainment! This week we review the Channing Tatum 'stripper movie' Magic Mike, as well as choosing our favourite movie creature in Triple Bill. We also prepare for next week's Batman Special with exciting live draws and giddy schoolboy excitement. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information....
Jul 17, 2012•1 hr 40 min
In honour The Amazing Spiderman - this week's Failed Critics has been rebooted for a modern audience. We are going to give you the origin story of how James, Steve, Gerry and Owen first met. Starring Michael Fassbender, Ryan Gosling, Tom Hardy, and Vincent Cassell. Or we could just review The Amazing Spiderman and tell you how we would remake/reboot movies we think need a makeover. James also reviews the worst film he has seen so far this year, Steve turns into a later-day Bob Holness (he's too ...
Jul 10, 2012•2 hr 6 min
Do you, dear listener, take this slightly shambolic weekly film podcast to be your lawfully-wedded background noise for your journey to work? Forsaking allother podcasts, as long as your generic MP3 player shall live? You may now listen to FAILED CRITICS! This week we review the new Jason Segel/Emily Blunt romantic comedy The Five-Year Engagement (including a remarkably in-depth debate on the conventions of the rom-com genre), as well as discussing our favourite documentaries in Triple Bill. Thi...
Jul 03, 2012•1 hr 47 min
“Four score and seven days ago our fathers brought forth on this continent, a new film podcast, conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all critics are created equal.” Wise words from famous Failed Critics fan Abraham Lincoln. But how we feel about him, and his vampire killing exploits? Find out in this week’s podcast. Also this week we discuss films from the beginning and end of Spielberg’s career as James reports back on the new Jaws print, and Owen gives us his verdict on ...
Jun 26, 2012•1 hr 25 min
