It’s a new very brief interstitial season as we travel through the REDACTED region hunting Pokémon right in our own backyards. We’re getting caught up on Pokémon Go for the next couple weeks, where it’s clear you’ve all been diligently guiding away without us for the past six years. Worry not, though, because by the time we’re done, we’ll be catching up with all of you in levels, even if we have to take out a new mortgage or two to do it. This week we’ll reminisce on the early days of the game a...
Jul 26, 2022•1 hr 12 min•Season 6Ep. 11
A new iteration of Gringus, aka David Sims, joins us to chase waterfalls across Kalos for the Pokémon X/Y finale. Joshy takes the wheel for this one, because Tanner couldn't be bothered to do all of it. We start by cooling our heels down south for a while, checking out the sights of Kiloude City with a delightful little Friend Safari and some rounds at the Battle Maison. Then, we discover that apparently Lumiose is a crime-ridden cesspool of a town and Looker's taken up residence to clean it up....
Jul 19, 2022•1 hr 3 min•Season 6Ep. 10
Our heroes enjoy a well-deserved respite after an extremely long leg last week, as well as (always) the company of Anthony "Bud Light" Smith, who joins us to take on Kalos's Elite Four. They learn about his "low concept" character who launched into her journey to become Champion all to get revenge on the owner of a poorly managed Airbnb she once stayed at. Other than that, she's had a good time in Kalos, especially taking to how hot everyone in it is—aside from a couple of hideous mon we encount...
Jul 12, 2022•1 hr 7 min•Season 6Ep. 9
Well, we would walk 500 miles, and we would walk 500 more just to be the guys who walked 1,000 miles just to beat down Wulfric’s door. No, seriously, it was a really long leg. It took hours. We’re joined by STEVE SARUMI of IT’S SUPER EFFECTIVE fame to chat about his love/hate relationships with Gorebyss, the Kalos region, and the Pokémon franchise (listed here, presumably, in order of most-hated to most-loved). Then we got into the dang chop and ground it out. Look at the title of the episode! N...
Jul 05, 2022•1 hr 10 min•Season 6Ep. 8
Another long leg stretches out before our podcast heroes, but fortunately they are joined by Alex Bugg from Gotta Snatch ‘Em All once again, to help lighten the load. They take on a classic criminal syndicate hideout, discuss how exactly a Klefki works, whether or not Magnetons are a weapon of mass destruction, and both Josh & Tanner experience a pretty devastating Matchup Mayhem in their battles. Check out Alex’s podcast @gottasnatchemal, and his new genderless manicure services @put.it.in....
Jun 28, 2022•59 min•Season 6Ep. 7
It was a short leg this week, made even shorter by the fact that Tanner has come down with something resembling Pokérus—an ailment that while debilitating, has somehow managed to turn him into an elite Pokémon podcasting beast. Honestly, his EV values are through the roof this week. It’s just a quick shot up the very scary Route 14, with its bombed out playground and spooky houses. Then we’re in Laverre City, where Valerie honey-I-shrunk-the-kids-ed us down and invited us into her pretty unevent...
Jun 21, 2022•55 min•Season 6Ep. 6
As is a time-honored tradition in the Pokémon world, something has gone horribly awry at the regional power plant, and it's a child's job to fix it. But this time, you don't even get a cool electric bird out of it—you just get to fight Team Flare's Pitbull and Ke$ha. Our reward is access to all of the city of lights: Lumiose, baby! Joan of Arceus & LoveMaker69 hit the streets, and each has wildly different experiences. LoveMaker69 hobnobs with the city's elite, entitled nouveau riches, while...
Jun 14, 2022•1 hr•Season 6Ep. 4
We finally learn everything there is to know about Mega Evolutions this week, but to be honest with you, we have more questions than answers at this point. Key among them: why is there a giant Lucario statue inside this giant building off the coast of Route 12? We’ll just have to compartmentalize instead and move onto more important matters, like this very important Skiddo ranch on Azure Bay. All that’s left is skillfully navigating an entire SEALs team ropes course before we can take on the gym...
Jun 07, 2022•52 min•Season 6Ep. 4
After last week's sprawling journey, Joan of Arceus & LoveMaker69 cool their heels in Cyllage City for a while before sauntering back out. Heading north, they are immediately confronted with yet another pile of mysterious rocks that everyone is losing their minds about, which is the main theme of this whole episode as we get closer to finally knowing the truth about Mega Evolution. Also, Josh proposes a new conspiracy theory (that is probably not actually new at all) that results in the hot ...
May 31, 2022•52 min•Season 6Ep. 3
We messed up. We thought this was a quick and tidy trip up to Lumiose City where we’d take on the gym and call it a week. That was not the case. Instead, we went on a Homeric journey across what we have to assume was most of the Kalos region when all was said and done. Along the way we hunted Furfrous, took a couple grueling Rhyhorn rides, met Team Flare, grabbed a bike, battled in the sky, and summited the Super Aggro Crag before we could finally call it a leg and hang up our DS systems for the...
May 24, 2022•1 hr 9 min•Season 6Ep. 3
SALLY FORTH, BUG CATCHERS! Into season six, in Kalos, the noble land of beauty. We shall honor its simple elegance with our own, by having a season with no restrictions, baby! In Vaniville Town, meet Josh & Tanner’s new avatars for Pokémon X/Y—and their wildly successful mothers and supportive fathers (at least monetarily). Then, follow their journey to the first gym, during which they swoon over man and 'mon alike, and give both their (good) first impressions of the region and (bad) impress...
May 17, 2022•59 min•Season 6Ep. 1
What is likely our longest season to date has finally drawn to a close, and what did we learn along the way? For one thing, nobody really likes it when you don’t like what is clearly everyone’s favorite Pokémon game for some reason. You learned that some of the side games are some of the most engaging Pokémon experiences out there. Maybe you learned that rereading complex and confusing rules for six weeks doesn’t make for super dynamic audio? Or maybe you learned how to craft a team worthy of ta...
May 10, 2022•58 min•Season 5Ep. 32
King Boo’s immense vassalage is ascending! All praise The God-Emperor KING BOO! His glory be known from the lawless wastelands of his upbringing in the south, where only the transient warriors reside—whose fates shift with the tides of every battle. They cry his name in the midlands, where hopeful champions vie for a shot at an esteemed Perfect Link Pokémon partner. His name is heard as a pleading whisper echoing through the vaunted halls of the Hallowed North, the elysian lands where warlords a...
May 03, 2022•49 min•Season 5Ep. 31
It only took King Boo and Joshua four weeks to finally figure out the game’s key mechanic and begin hunting down Perfect Links across the Ransei region, but please don’t let cancel culture get us for this glaring oversight. King Boo has definitely earned the Largest Army card this week, not that his army of weak-link-warriors can do him much good. But neither Joshua nor King Boo really struggled much this week, so it looks like smooth sailing to Nobunaga.
Apr 26, 2022•54 min•Season 5Ep. 30
King Boo: So anyways, I was standing there waiting to use the payphone. Joshua: Yeah, he was, seriously. King Boo: And this guy who was on the phone, turns around and tips his hat like this. And who do you think that guy was? Kenshin from Illusio kingdom. Joshua: The Mighty Gallade man himself, I swear to God, I was there. King Boo: Of course you were, you were the one who yelled the Psychic Typer's kingdom name. Joshua: I was like, “ILLUSIO!”...
Apr 19, 2022•53 min•Season 5Ep. 29
King Boo and Joshua’s bloody conquest of the Ransei region continues this week, as they lay siege to Fortress Fontaine, known for its lovely fountains, which run red with the blood of the slain. That is where two roads diverged and Joshua took the one every walkthrough explicitly insisted you travel by, and that has made all the difference. Seriously, we had totally different experiences this week. What a game.
Apr 12, 2022•50 min•Season 5Ep. 28
Welcome to a new interstitial season where the boys will be donning their traditional samurai armor and taking on the Ransei region in some pitched tactical RPG battles. But where to start? How about a deep exploration of the history and conception of Pokémon Conquest which, despite its appearances, is actually a spin-off game of a game mode in the popular hack-and-slash series Samurai Warriors. You’ll meet the new player characters, the proto-Joshua—progenitor to all Joshuas to follow—and King ...
Apr 05, 2022•48 min•Season 5Ep. 27
The boys—who are now the Unova region champs, by the way—bumped into Bad Josh/Mr. Wrong/Hugh in Undella Bay and picked up a little HM called Waterfall, so you know what’s going to happen in this episode. Loose ends are tied up, legendary Pokémon are hunted down and captured, and an entire quarter of the map is unlocked for our Pokémonning pleasure. Over on Mr. Right’s team, things are smooth sailing, but Slaanesh is coming stacked this week with an all-new team, including one former ally from se...
Mar 29, 2022•1 hr 23 min•Season 5Ep. 26
Our time in the Unova region is drawing to a close, but there’s still plenty of time to get some truly punishing Kingslocke draws before we summit Victory Road and take on the Elite Four once again. Some of us even had to build and train entirely new teams on this, the final leg of the main game, which is just insulting frankly. And once we’re done taking on the Elite Four and the Champion of Unova, there’s still one more epic battle: between Mr. Right and Slaanesh to decide once and for all who...
Mar 22, 2022•1 hr 19 min•Season 5Ep. 25
Alex Bugg (@gottasnatchemal) is back for the penultimate leg of our second journey through the Unova region this week and his character Kindy has a whole gaggle of school-aged Pokémon ready to take on Marlon, Mr. Right, and Slaanesh. It’s a breezy trip through the Marine Tube before we all arrive in Humilau City where Marlon leads trainers on a not-so-wild goose chase around the docks. It didn’t take a lot to finally vanquish him, unless you’re Josh, of course, and you’re only working with four ...
Mar 15, 2022•1 hr 6 min•Season 5Ep. 24
This week Mr. Right and Slaanesh catch a ride to Eastern Unova where they revisit sights from postgames' past. The first thing on their agenda? A spooky haunted house, of course. After that, the only scary thing about this leg is all the routes where they were required to draw cards for the Kingslocke ruleset they’re playing with, but despite Josh’s shockingly low levels this week, they both managed to just pull through by the skin of their yellow country teeth.
Mar 08, 2022•1 hr 10 min•Season 5Ep. 23
The boys slid into Pokémaniacal Chris’s DMs this week to call him out on his punishing Kingslocke rules, but he ended up being a really nice guy so they asked him to come on the show instead. Much like Philip LeMarchand created the Lament Configuration, a puzzle box that—when solved—plunges you into an experience beyond limits. Pain and pleasure, indivisible…. … our guest this week is also the creator of a puzzle box of pain and pleasure known as the Kingslocke rules. Chris tagged along as Slaan...
Mar 01, 2022•1 hr 17 min•Season 5Ep. 22
The journey across Unova continues to be filled with familiar sights, lovable characters, and the return of some former enemies seeking redemption, but it’s far from a stroll down memory lane thanks to some interesting card pulls for the Kingslocke rules this week. Mr. Right and Slaanesh meet a sexy werewolf, take on a sexy heartbreaker, cross a sexy bridge, see some sexy Team Plasma holdouts, battle a sexy sage, visit some sexy hotels, and finally delve into the gym to vanquish the business cow...
Feb 22, 2022•1 hr 2 min•Season 5Ep. 21
This week, Mr. Right’s path diverged from The Dark Prince of Pleasure’s path as they journeyed into Route 4. Mr. Right was met with crumbling ruins, tomb raiders, and villains who scavenged what they could under the oppressive heat of the bright desert sun. Slaanesh, on the other hand, found the accommodations on Route 4 quite lovely—in fact, with plenty of amenities and a vibrant community, they could almost see themselves settling down and managing a mall in a place like this. Really find true...
Feb 15, 2022•1 hr 13 min•Season 5Ep. 20
Mr. Right and Slaanesh have finally made it to the mainland, but to be honest, with all the clowns, undercover bosses, sewer dwellers, and stressed clerks, they probably wish they have stayed over in Western Unova. The bright lights of the big city are beckoning the boys in, but first, they’ll need to wade nipple-deep in human waste to track down the gym leader of Castelia Gym, because of course they would.
Feb 08, 2022•1 hr 9 min•Season 5Ep. 18
The boys are joined by Drew Scheid ( Halloween, Fear Street Part Two: 1978) , who mercifully spared himself from the wrath of Kingslocke, and believe us, it was WRATHFUL this week. We head to Virbank City, our final destination in Western Unova and home to Pokéstar Studios and the punk rock gym leader Roxie. On the way, we’ll learn about a new friend named Dr. Ew then well face off in a three-way trainer battle to see which well-regarded young actor has what it takes to wrestle control of the po...
Feb 01, 2022•1 hr 3 min•Season 5Ep. 17
It’s a new game, a new season, some new characters, and a new ruleset—KINGSLOCKE—that’s so confusing that one of your two lovable hosts struggled to even understand them on this first leg. Welcome back to Unova! You may notice some new faces and places at the start of your journey, including Mr. Right and his band of elitist chosen ones and Slaanesh the Prince of Pleasure and her plague lords. It’s going to be a wet and wild one, so load up your carts, draw your cards, and let’s get catching. No...
Jan 25, 2022•1 hr 1 min•Season 5Ep. 16
Welp, Bug Rangers... it's time to hang up the ol' styler wands, because our time in Almia is, regretfully, coming to a close. But not before we plumb the depths of a Team Dim Sun oil rig and set in motion a series of events that ultimately lead to a man's onscreen death—and that wasn't even a sanctioned mission! Then we chase after some clown called Heath who turns out to be, you guessed it, a prick. We close with an extremely long game of passing the Yellow Gem back and forth, Keith blows up, a...
Jan 11, 2022•1 hr 8 min•Season 5Ep. 15
Our styler wands are starting to look a little worn down (as are the lower screens on our 3DS machines) but we're not done yet! For part three of our journey through the Almia region, we meet the hottest new corporate post-industrial-pop-punk quartet with three members to ever be featured in a Pokémon game. We also head north to take on the personification of Sonic the Hedgehog before going back to Boyleland Volcano for another tumble in the hot magma. Finally, we reject everything we've learned...
Jan 04, 2022•1 hr 12 min•Season 5Ep. 14
Gallass & Tokio Hotel keep the hits coming when they set out from Pueltown to find out what nefarious character made off with Barlow. They also take in the “beautiful” Drifloon migration, which aid them in traversing Boyleland’s volcano. In its deepest depths, they learn something surprising about one of their former teachers, and get summoned by the (definitely very healthy) Chairperson Erma, to take another test before they can be certified as Top Rangers.
Dec 28, 2021•1 hr 4 min•Season 5Ep. 13
