This is What I Think about Men

But do we because I surely don't. That's why I'm still single, trying to figure it out. So let's break it down. Let's break down the stereotypes of how men behave Stevie. Let's start with and sex song I want and sex creak or stro so because me that movies, TV and pop culture paint this picture that all men just want sex all the time and their hormones me and I wanted to be out of control. I'll say,

here's what I'm trying to save men. I have been trying to communicate to women for the longest time what they want out of women and women we continue to think that we know what men want, and we do what we think that we are expected to do as women. But do we really know what men are looking for in a woman? For example? Um, you know that there's this stereotype that men always want sex. Is it true that men really always just want sex? Or do men

also have the different type of needs divine not like? Well, I think sex is very important. I think that as a man, sex is a big part of the relationship because you know, you keep me happy and just like a woman, happy wife, happy life, and you're good. I feel like there's a lot of women that are unaware of women want and they feel that we also are so busy trying to compete with one another, started competing between women. Okay, that's maybe not what men really want.

For the hand blow, I've heard it many times in many occasions. Gay, I only don't care if you wear tons of makeup and we're over here splashing our whole faces for the makeup. They can trying to look good, But who are we looking good for? I mean, obviously we're trying to look good for ourselves, but are we trying to look good for the other women or for ourselves? Some men know, whatever you have stretch marks or whatever, and that maybe just us being so conscious, but we

think that this is what men want. While we posted on exactly amount of the questions fired to this episode, and a lot of the men were saying what they want women to do is kind of let them play their games when they're playing the games, and just don't interrupt them when they're playing their PlayStation and stuff like that, and I feel like it does get over a women. Men do need their man cave, men do need their

spaces as well as woman. But a lot of women be like I, it's more like he he plays with that thing more than he plays with me, you know. But sometimes guys don't know how to have that balance, like when you come home from work and you've been out all day that you love me, that you can lie to me, but don't just come home and then be stuck playing Lintendo video games whatever it is that you guys play. Now. So I get that part, I mean I totally get that part. But is that stereo

type that men just want sex? Is that really like a thing? Like do men want more sex and women or have the roles changed already? And women are very like sexual A man sees a woman and the attraction is there is isn't it an attraction first? And you see this person? I think it does have a lot to do with sex and now, being attracted to someone and sex are two different things. Yes, you can be attracted to someone, but it doesn't mean that you want

to be that. The moment you wake up. You could be not attracted to someone and put a bag over their head and pass that to them. Still, why don't I get it? We have sexually? I think the women have different drives. Battle I did it. Well, let's happen exactly about a moment? Where do you think men want? But No, I don't know. I'm still trying to figure it out. That's what I'm still single. I don't know. I feel that men want. This is gonna sound terrible,

but I almost feel like men want a mom. They want another version of their mom that's attractive and someone they can smash. You want it to be nurturing, caring and get go seeing it to a cook, to do this, to be your nerves, to fix your clothes, to fixture it all. You want them to do anything, and those

that to be freaking with you too. That's what it sounds like to me, I think that men want they have very high expectations of what they wanted a woman, not a woman that they want a girlfriend like as a girlfriend, or a woman that they want to smash, a woman that they want as their wife, or someone that they want to spend the rest of their lives with. I think that they just have different expectations for those women.

But Mecca just wants to spend time together, like, just have that time with each other because a lot of and I don't know, I think that woman want to spent a lot of time with men. I think that men are Okay, we're not spending that much time with a woman. I don't understand. What do you mean? Okay, So making time for your significant other, you know, making time for your significant other. A lot of times, it's

the small things that count. A lot of times we think it's spectacular, like the diamonds and the rubies, But how about just spending simple time with each other, getting to know each other, getting to know one another First of all, I believe that you don't fall in love so easily. You gotta find It takes a while to find that love, Like I really love you, So you gotta take that you have to building to build it

and to really get to know one another. So maybe that's what a woman wants it, that's what a man wants. They want that time together. Like a lot of guys are not. They're greedy, they don't want to share their well do you believe it? It's also true that men just want to Netflix and chill, Like is that is that something to sit back, watch TV, be lazy and just you know, and then whatever happens during the Netflix and share it happens. So what is it the men

are looking for? You're looking for a homeboy, like a girl, there's a homeboy you can smash, Like, how does this work? Like, I'm just trying to figure out. Is it a combination of a homeboy with your mama put together with a woman that's attractive and it's gonna give it to you? Because you want someone that's gonna let you be, let you be yourself. You want someone that's gonna let your Netflix and chill. You want to have your loane time because you don't want to be bothered with you know,

whatever your girlfriend or boyfriend maybe going through. You want your own space and I get that part. Supposedly, you can. You always want sex. So it's like, are the requirements to hide these days to have a you know, an established relationship or two? Men want too much out of women? Wow, you know, let's let's for you brought up a good point.

I feel like a lot of men that you know, didn't have a mother figure, or a lot of women that didn't really have a father figure, is like, that's what they're looking Have you ever been a relationship that the parties of your father are in the man you're dating, And you'd be like, but it really depends. And that's a really good point. It really depends because what about the girls that didn't have a father figure? So what are we? What do we look up to? We just

get whatever's left. Wow, that sounds terrible, but it's true. I don't know if we're looking for daddy because you can never you can't miss something you've never had. And I'm only speaking from a girl that comes from a single mother, Like I never had that father figure. I never had someone who showed me you know, this is how a man is supposed to treat you. This is what a man is supposed to do. I never had that.

I have to figure that out on my own. So therefore I can understand how women like myself may still have some type of traumas in which we end up picking men that are in need of other things where that may not be the best catch, right, So I get it, you know. But I'll say this much. And I only realized this not too long ago when I was like self healing and trying to figure out what the hell is going on in my mind. But I can't say that I've been with men that are exactly

like my father or have similarities. But I will say that I usually look for men that don't want me. Is that weird? Like I can have all the men in the world again, and I want that one man that don't want me. And maybe that can also come from not having my father around the fact that my father wasn't in the picture and I was always seeking for that. Maybe I seek that same validation from a man, and that took me a really long time to really

get into that deep thought. I don't I'm out of like I beg to the Sometimes we just need a little bit of Trinthian they counseling therapy in or mine. I think that's a beautiful that I think that's the problem. Like a lot of people have approached me as a public figure, like you know, and said, oh, I'm not into the Stevie Noonaz, I'm into the Stephen Noonaz, Like I don't want that person, or I don't want I want to know who a Mada is. And I feel

like that's just game. You're spending game. I've heard that for so long it gets old. It sounds like a broken record, Like, no, have you had that before because I said always said tims to think like that. And then because you're saying, oh, I want a man that doesn't want me, I think that that's the I think you shouldn't say that. No no, no, no no, But I don't. I don't think that you're you're understanding the points it's about you understand now. I think I think

you missed it. What I meant is is about the chase, but having to conquer the having to conquer and chase and have to figure those things out. But that's another that's another topic. I'm not in that place right now, but I can speak as a mature woman and say you're telling us, okay, familiaries. I also feel that men throw a lot of common. Indeed, act does, and they talk about their feelings in a way that is indirect. I don't know if you know what I'm saying. Um,

they'll say and express how they feel. And that's another thing that women we have to learn how to understand and how to process that information. A lot of men are not good at communicating their feelings and how they feel, so you have to kind of understand the codes when they're trying to express something. And it's hard because there's no guide book into love. There's no guide book into

out to have a you know, a good relationship. But men a lot of times express and say how they feel about you through their actions, through certain things that they do. Even if they don't communicate it, we will be right back with more exactly amount of and we're bad. We're talking about do women really know what men want? I think how most we worked so hard trying to figure out how to become and be the perfect woman for a man and we still can't figure it out.

And I was talking about you know how men sometimes give indeed at does. Yes, it is true a lot i men are not good at communicating. And here's another thing, Latina, it happens in many occasions in the Latin culture that we feel or we teach our men are little boys not to cry, don't cry, suck it up. If you have any emotions, suck it up. We don't want to hear, we don't want to talk about it, and keep it pushing.

Has that also affected the way that men communicate in a relay reationship because they're taught not to cry, not to express themselves. Does that does? Does a man crying makes them less of a man? I don't think it does. I think that a lot of women do get upset at men because they don't express themselves, like you're not cleo, You're not gonna just assume what is wrong with the person or that something is wrong unless you are expressing

your feelings now. But doesn't make but doesn't make them no? No? But does it make them no? But? But does it make them less of a man if they cry? Like if they express how they feel and they cry because I know much will be like, stop crying or you're acting like a little bit or whatever, instead of understanding and knowing them. Men also have emotions and have feelings, and especially black men and a Latin, especially black men in this In this world, they're taught to be strong,

you know, keep it together. You're not supposed to express your feelings, So how do we expect them to communicate and express their is when they're in a relationship. A real man does cry. But to a lot of women is a turn off to see. Why is it a turn off? Why? Because it's like you're whining and as a man, you're not supposed to be whining? Who said that? But why are you living? Okay? I? Why no? I

forget that? Like that? Just that's a turn off. You want a man that's a macho and I think, but I think that having a man that expresses his feelings and that cries makes him a real man because he wasn't scared to express. Okay, so here's another question, but you can intend. Why is it so hard for guys to express how they feel about too? Why don't you talk? Tell me, tell me that you like me, tell me that you me, tell me that you miss me. Why is this so hard if you don't like something that

I did? Why do you get frustrated instead of communicating? Do men really not know how to communicate? Why don't they express their feelings? Because they're scared of rejection, you know, But a minute, No, men are a customed men have a vulnerable moment. But a lot of women in society have taught us that men that are vulnerable or just don't know men are no, no, no, no no. Men are accustomed to getting rejected, rejected by women. They go

through it their whole life. Nobody wants to be rejected, but more men are accustomed to getting rejected than women are. Because women, we got the power between the legs. We're gonna find someone who's gonna be approaching us. Is not exactly the same with men. Men are the chasers. They're the ones that look so to me, it's like, I get it. Battle. If you don't communicate, if you don't express your feelings, how are we supposed to establish as Oh my god, Um it depends if I'm into the person,

and depends I think it best. And that's their way of expressing how they can feel about me, and I like you, yes, do whatever it is better let me know, and they think about don't last because like I'm being a prideful personally, I'm a very prideful person. And it's been one of the most damaging things for me um in relationship or whatever, because I'm like I could be dying inside. I'm gonna keep it together, like I don't give a funk, I don't care this and that, and

that's not the way to be about it. And that's how you can, you know, break a real loving relationship. And by having no communication but not expressing that. So I know you're a sensitive man. It's not you being sensitive expressing your feelings. It's equivalent to being sensitive candy whole. It's so I disagree, And that's the problem. That's the problem with society right now. And that's the problem with relationships. But relationships the lasting a couple of months, one or

two or three years. If you've lasted five years with someone these days, that's a life accomplishment that doesn't happen because people the moment there's a problem, you're ready to just move to the next relationship, next, next, next, next. There's just way too many opts and no one is trying to fight for the relationship. No one is trying to communicate, like baby meet up. I don't want to to I don't want to have to guess. I don't

want the indirect jobs. Tell me what you want, tell me what you need, tell me how you feel out lack To me, it's not about the way that you express what don't if you're violent. If you're violent, that's gonna turn me off, you know, because some people don't know how to express themselves and they just get frustrated and save all of it, and then they just react in a way that later on they end up regretting it.

For sure. It's not bat Let's sit down, let's talk, Let's have wine, let's talk at nighttime, Let's have a walk in the park. Um, send me a text message meeting for for example me, I'm not good at talking face to face or expressing it. I'd rather text it. It's the best way that I can, like vent, even if it takes me all day to write a message, but write it down, write a letter, write a song.

Guess say, Joe, I don't freaking know. Should it be something that needs to be tryed as a child, Yes, yes, I definitely think that that immediately latin That happens a lot in our culture. And as much as I love being Dominican and proud, as much as I love being Latina, I do know and understand that men are taught and little boys that they're supposed to be real tough. They're

not supposed to have any feelings. If you feel some type of way, stop crying or I'm gonna beat you if you cry, suck it up, all these things, and it's like, yes, I understand that you're trying to teach them that life is tough. Collado. Teach them that, but also teach them that it's okay to have feelings. It's okay to be human. It's okay to express how you feel. It's okay to feel pain, to feel sorrow, to feel heartbroken and the girl breaks up with you. It's okay

to have all these emotions. So yes, it's important that as parents we teach our little boys and girls it's okay for you to express how you feel. Afterwards, you have to suck it up. Yeah, you have to let let go of that, let it out, lato express it. Then you have to pick yourself back up and keep it moving. Fiddles, do you teach that to your children? Yes? I think we should normalize fathers teaching their son how to express their feelings. And how do you do that?

How do you teach your child not you know to be free. Well, he's one years old right now. But if I when the time comes, okay, when the time comes, I'm gonna be like. You do need to express if you don't like something. They teach you at very early age, you know, child development. You have to use your words if you don't like something that someone is doing or what a woman is doing to you, before you become a battered husband, you need to express that you don't

like that. That no, you're not taking all my money. Okay, I'm doing all of this what I'll be knowing it. That's right, I'll be good like you gotta be a man at that point, you're right if you don't express, you know, the more we go along in the episode, you start bringing like she starts knocking some sentence to Stevin, nonaz is that I do come from that? You know, those generational what I would call curses of men and how it should be, you know, or how we should

do things. I didn't have a father to tell me how to express my feelings. But I didn't have a vocal, bronx woman that was like always expressing her feelings. Right, So if we don't have to always because you know, let's keep it real. Statistic shows that that in our culture there's not a fathers are not present all the time. So it's okay, I get that I didn't have my garments,

but I didn't get that from my father. I got that from my mother from the bronx that if she didn't like something, ship but like, no, I don't like that, and that's why I am the way I am. But does everybody like that? No, because when you're too real and too aggressive, everyone doesn't like that. That's what it is with men, is that men don't know how to express their feelings. The question is do women really know what men want? Do they really know? Well, I want

to know what you guys think. Go to Exactly a Matta on Twitter, Instagram and go check us out on our YouTube channel. We're gonna take a quick pause, but we will be right back, all right, and we're back with more Exactly a Mada. We're trying to find out do women really know what men want? This has been met out. We've been trying to break the code for years now. We've been trying to figure out how to

be the best woman for a man. How to do this our bodies, our minds, how to behave, how to cook, how to do We've been trying to figure out how to be this perfect woman for a man. But I don't even think that we know ourselves. What do men really want? And that's why I really want to know. This commitment come in like at what AIGs do men really want to commit? Like? Is there a specific time that men men really want to commit? Do they really want? Well,

first is do they even want to commit? But then I also want to know is there like a specific age, like after a certain period of time they have been fucking and dancing and flippering around in life that they're like, Yeah, I want to settle down and I want to commit to you. I don't know that. I think it has to do with something that happens in your life, ye to your commitment, Like when you're committed not to catch STD and then you catch you STD. Oh my god,

you say I am committed to lever. Has that STD again? Then maybe that's ther comming. I feel like it's something in a man's life, like an experience, some sperience, right, I think it has to do with the experience of a man. I don't think it has a specific age because mal I I mean, I you know, but you know what I think about too. I think that it's also about your stages in life. Like it's not just about the experiences, but it's just stages you have to

burn out stages in life. There's levels to it. A lot of people, let's say, for example, which I've seen, had children, let's say, at a very early age, so now that they're older, that they didn't have the opportunity of experiencing and traveling and partying, and now they want to live that stage or whatever. Maybe when you were younger, you focus so much on work and going to school and doing all these things that you want to accomplish, and now you're fifty sixty years old trying to party

it up and live your best life. I just think that there's stages in life that you have to burn out. And is there a specific age. Well, maybe a man doesn't want to commit, maybe a man doesn't want to be faith for and maybe that's what you need to know, do you like you need I see that happening more

often now these days. There's a lot of people that just don't want to commit to say, they don't even want to commit it to having kids, and the population is dying out, and how garages, How many marriages do we see nowadays? How many of those fifty plus years relationships we see? No, maybe our great grandmother and grandfather.

But nowadays people are like, oh, a wedding. It's just that he said pain, and then and then when everyone normalized that, then everyone justified, and now there's no commitment, because all really that is is when you get married. It's just saying that this is a commitment. I'm gonna tell you what's happening. Oh my god, what's exactly? Let me tell you exactly how or what's happening? In my eyes? I also feel that these days women were giving wife

benefits as girls friends, So why are men trying? Like, why would men even want to commit? Women are giving white benefits as girlfriends, So why would they even want to commit when you are already giving it to them back in the days, I, you know, just looking at it, obviously, I don't know, but just looking at history, men had to work so hard just to even get a pop kiss from a woman, just even be able to see a little boom, just to be able to see her

in panties. It was like, oh my god, I remember, you know, off seeing it. Men will go crazy for that one Playboy magazine. You know, they would share it and passing on and oh my god. Now as women, men don't have to work that hard anymore. Like they literally can go out to a club. And I'm not saying for women, yes, you're we're liberated, we're free, we're independent,

we do as we please. I get that part. But as far as men wanting to commit, white commit when you're already giving, you cook, you clean, you suck me down, you do everything. You're my nurse, your mother, you know everything. Why I gotta put a ring on it? Why I gotta do this for what we might as well just say how we are now and just keep it pushing

until whenever I feel that. You know, that's why you see these six seven, ten year, ten year engagements that never happened, or you might not even get to get engaged. You know what's so annoying when people be like, oh, in the state of whatever, after twenty years, you're already married and then you're cheap as did it gives that woman a freaking wedding or nothing like. That's so freaking whack attack. Are women just likely to like commit to

a man who doesn't want to be committed. Do women force men into committing into relationships that they don't want to I definitely want to know what you think, because I know it's true. I have been in situations personally where I have I don't want to say get forced myself, but I felt like I was forcing the situation, Like, dude, we've been doing this for the past six months. Are we gonna be committed or not? Because I don't want to be here? Like hello, girlfriend, playboy thing with no?

Like no, let's just go with the flow. Let's just give it out their own agenda and their next check that they have, and then that's it. You have a commitment to every single commitment that you have. So here's a question. If a man doesn't commit to you, does that mean that he doesn't love you, that he doesn't want to be with you, or he's just not ready to commit? And if so, when will he be ready to commit? Will you ever be ready to commit? If he's not ready to commit, are you still willing to

stay in that relationship? I want to know everything because I know a lot of women that have been with a man for the past ten years, he still doesn't want to commit. Would you still stay? Like? For how long are you willing to stay in a relationship where a man is not willing to make you officially his girl, his wife, his whatever to the family. I know those I know those two? Does come on now? Is that too much pressure? Should we be pressuring men? Let left

the scenario. What do women really want in a relationship? Out of man like? What do women really want? Mohead asked for example, But I want you to be respectful. I want you to love my mom. I know that tough. I want you to be nasty and freaky. I want you to be educated. I want you to inspire and motivate me. I want you to understand my career. I want you to be financially stable. I want you to be ambitious. Don't just be pleased with what you currently have.

I want you to tell me that I'm beautiful every day, Cuddle me, tell me pretty things. Don't even allow me to be bothered or pay attention to any other man besides you. If you're doing the right job, your girls not never gonna feel the need to look at another man. When a woman looks at another man or even caters to another man. It means that you missed out on something. There was something you didn't do it, and I'm sure

she gave you hints. She she told you, she gave you hands of what it was, and you maybe didn't get it. So there's a lot of things that I want. Now. Do I believe that the Prince Charming exists out there in the world. No, because that is false reality that was sold to us as children watching Disney and all these are the things of how I love is supposed to be. No, love is hard. It's a lot of work and hope it is, but it's the only way to have that significant other if not jumping around. So

you know, love is hard. And on the rotated side, I feel like men know or other men were. I think that that's why there's a lot of same sex. Talk about it less rotated to another side. Maybe I think that women know what women want and that is why there is a lot of same sex. Let's be a couple. Women don't even want men anymore because now talk about it. But let me just say, let me just say this, this is why it happens, Like men

know what a man was like. I think that you know as far as a gay man, right, we'll talk about a gig like man know, like, I know what turns me on, I know how I like my to be, you know how worally so now a man knows that, and that's why a lot of men come in or transgenders they come in and they're doing the job that you should have been doing. Oh my god, But you can't learn that. You just have to go to the opposite steps right away. You can't teach me a little

bit what you want. I'm just saying, like if I'm saying, if if you're not into women, or if you're not into men, or whatever your your sexual preference, maybe if you feel that your significant other is not handling you the way that you want to sexually, well, and that's something that we need to communicate about and talk about it openly and freely and not feel like, oh, since you're not giving it to me, I'm gonna go get it somewhere else. No teach me and saying at me,

what do you want me to do? How? How can it be a better woman for you? You? How can it be a better partner for you? What do I have? And it doesn't mean that you're being. And yes, you do have to be a little submissive, just a little bit when you love someone and when you want to have a relationship, because you can't always be right, you can always have the upper hand. Sometimes you have to find that balance me. Sometimes he's gonna be right, sometimes

you're gonna be right. And if now you have to figure it out. And that's what a relationship is about. And that's why I like Chustian based relationships. Okay, Well, you know, because they teach that it's not gonna be a perfect relationship, but if we could get through this, we'll get to the next. And preachers always say that if we if someone found, there's temptations and someone falls, you don't kick them while they're down. Let's get them help,

let's get let's go see a therapy shrink. Let's do what it takes for our relationship. That's right. And you know what, today we learned a lot. Okay, man, what we learned Okay, I hadn't even thought about. We learned the ins and out of what men's needs are, what they really want. The same thing goes for us women. You learned a little bit. We are lacking and we feel that we need um, but honestly, I want to thank you guys so much for listening to today's podcast.

Don't forget to join us each Thursday for all new episodes of Exactly Amata and you can find us on Instagram, Twitter, and also check us out on our YouTube channel. Also go check me out at ln and what about you stev Y and e W and and most definitely you have to have to have to follow Michael podcast on Instagram if you want to know all the podcasts and all the shows that are coming up. I want to thank you guys so much for all the love and support,

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