The Babies Are Changing My Body

guys about today's topic. But before I get into it, I want to remind you guys to subscribe, subscribe, rate, and share this podcast. Okay, do that with your friends, family, with whoever you may know. Feel free to also leave a comment. I'm always there at least thing. I'm always there reading the comments, whether you like to show you don't like to show you like when to improve something, or if there's a specific topic you want me to talk about because I like to hear your opinion. This

show is actually for you guys. You know. I like to be transparent, honest and organic with y'all. But I did this for you, so toesday, I want to talk to all the moms I want to talk to you. Just know a lot of you guys are over me talking about my pregnancy, and I'm always talking about being pregnant and like my baby this, and my baby that and this and that. But this is like something that happens, like, you know, not once in a blue because you can

make this happen many times. Trust me, it's not that difficult. But this is my first time, and I want to share my journey with you guys. So I want to talk to you about every single thing that has been happening during my pregnancy. And part of that is the fact that my babies are changing my body. My babies are changing my body, and this is something that I wasn't necessarily prepared for because I've always had like a

body image, you know issues. For those have heard my podcast before, I was honest and open and I said that at one point in life, I was bulimic. I used to eat, bench eat and throw everything up, um, you know. And I've been in places where I've getting a lot of weight. I was like over two thirty pounds, then I lost the weight and I've been it's like my body has gone through a roller coaster of like being fat, being skinny, being skinny, being fat like all

types of things. Um. Also being in this industry, right, the entertainment industry makes you feel as if you have to have this perfect body, like you have to be flawless. That's why face tune and you know whatever other apps is out there, you know, um, photoshop, Like you have to have this perfect skin, no stretch marks, no steady lights, no dimples, no jelly rolls, no acne, no this. And

it's so hard, especially for women. So I've always tried to fit into somewhat society standards of beauty when it comes to my physical appearance, like my body. And then I came to a point, yeah I don't mean bored back whatever. Right before I got pregnant, I actually lost sixty pounds and it was such an accomplishment, like wow, porf, I'm like the skinniest I've been in a very long time. And and don't said boom, right there I come and I get pregnant and then my body starts to go

through a different you know, body transformation. But I really want to hear a male's perspective of, you know, what it is to be with the woman wants her body changes um, because I feel like a lot of times guys don't want to say the truth and they try to like not make women feel bad, you know, because

their confidence and postpartum and all those things. Because one thing is when you're with a girl and her body is banging, and next thing, you know, her stomach is full of stretch marks and it's you know, it's the skin is sagging, and you know, you can't even see her throat anymore, and you know it the s a everything is weird and is jiggling. And then the boobs, you know, start to like breastfeed the belly button because they get long and stretchy and it's just a lot

going on. But then they guys like, oh, I love you look so good, and I'm like, do you really? Do you really care? Do you not? You know the same thing I talk about. I always talk about the push because when you see it on the on the YouTube channel, oh my god, that look so terrible art. But then I wonder when the guys and the husbands or whatever, they get back with their girls and they go back to smashing. This is still juicy? Is it good? Is that white? Is it spread? Is it loose? Tell

me what's happening. I don't know. I've never had a dangling. Then I also want to know from somebody else's perspective that doesn't have any children at this moment eventually, right, hopefully I don't. I don't know what she's looking forward to in life. But are these any of her concerns me? I'm already stuck in the situation I'm here. Is happening better? With that being said, I want to bring in Alex big Sexy? Okay? Is it big Sexy? Yeah? I can't

believe you actually called me that. It's something that everyone called me high school and you brought it out. That's right, Yes, big sexy ladies, you already know, and we got Arlene Mrs Juicy, you already know this Juicy is here with us. Okay, Oh my god, I just gave you like a stripper name. Do you like it? Or you down my alter alter ego?

Your alter ego? Is this Juicy? Well? With that being said, um no, the truth of the matter is, guys, you know I have been going through my whole body transformation. I've been trying to be you know, to accept it. Um My, my tummy has been little right, and I haven't had like crazy stretch marks yet. Um. I do wonder how my body is gonna transform once I start breastfeeding and all these other things and um, and then

I also think about the man. You know, what it is to go back into regular life and get back into the entertainment industry, which you know that it is very extremely over sexualized, and they do expect this perfect body. It's a lot of pressure. Me. I can see, Alex, you that that you know that have been there, done that. Does it really bother you? You could be honest, it

doesn't matter. It's cool, judgment free zone. But did it bother you once your your partner, your wife at the time or whatever, had her babies and you saw her body change from the hot mama that you you know that you got into it and then she changed like was it a thing for you? Like? Okay? Well, so I'll be completely honest, And I don't speak for every dude out there, but I do speak for most men out there. I for one, did not see that change,

the bad change. I saw someone who is sacrificing her entire body to give life and to bring my children into this world, right, my little spawn, and I couldn't in my head wrap around like the the the pains, everything that she is doing right, like yourself to sacrifice. Is anything bad could happen? God forbid? And you know so that's for me. I saw the it. And now the truth of the matter is that not all men see the fact that the beauty of a woman giving

you know, you're creating life. You know your body, women's body is so amazing. I feel like we should give women more credit for that. We talk about it, but don't like literally, her body is creating another human being because we all come from there, right, and just the process alone, the pain, the discomfort, the everything, even from the from the morning sickness to the epidural if you get to that or if you have natural birth or

if you get split. Look, I said, just the whole process of a woman, what she goes through, and not only physically but also emotionally because you know your mental health, your hormones, the old people like goals. Okay, I feel that obviously men don't understand a you. There's a lot of pressure for women, especially with our looks, going back having going back to having sex with your partner or

after your body has been through this entire change. Like that's those are insecurities that that maybe women don't talk about with their partners, but that's definitely there in the back of their minds. You know. Something that was weird for me too, having sex well pregnant. I chid it with the father and my kids because I don't have to give details to y'all, but you know, with the father of my kid, I was like, look, I this is you know, my children's you know, like this is

your home. I'm not just gonna have any random you know whatever coming here and just you know, savvy with it. But um, if we do do it, all right, let's try it. But I felt so weird to be like, okay, let's have sex. And I felt like my stomach was moving and I just one, it's two, so like my whole stomach was just like a whole bunch of aliens, just like moving in the stomach while I'm getting you know, jabbed with it. And I just felt weird, Like I

didn't feel sexy. I felt uncomfortable. I felt horny, right, because I think it's normal to say your your body wants it, but like you got to find these awkward, like, you know, do the side one like the lazy one. We just lay there one leg. It's important that you also, you know, it also helps later on with having your kids. Yeah, I heard that it's actually very healthy for you to physically be active in that aspect. It does, it does

affect at least for me. I'm sure there's women can only bolt and they feel sexy, but at least for me with my partner at that time, and make me feel a little bit uncomfortable to be pregnant because I just didn't feel as attractive. Yeah, you want to feel sexy when you're like trying to have that time with your partner, and then all of a sudden, now you have this whole other part. It's growing, and it's it's now like a part you have to maneuver past this,

but belly for yeah, for sure. Yeah, yeah, so that's definitely one of those things. And I'm sure that there's also a transformation once you have the kids of going back into trying to find yourself and feel sexy again,

feel attractive again, because obviously it takes some time. You know, it took almost a whole year for you to create this whole human being, but now it's gonna take some time for your body to you know, go back to how it used to be a lot of times, it shall never go back to how it used to be. I feel that there's like a before and after. Even if you work out your body, your body has changed, right. Um. And something that I was talking about before Big Sexy is that oh um, and I was like, okay, be

honest too. When you go back into having how was the difference in between having uh sex went with your partner when they're pregnant and then after, you know, after they have their children. Do you feel or see a difference?

So I don't, Well, when you're they're pregnant, obviously, yes, right because it's it's um to quote one of your lines, it's juicier when they're pregnant, right, so yes, and it's tight and everything because of blood pressure right now, Okay, alright, teach me big So basically, yeah, oh god, I'm never gonna live this down. Um. So basically, yes, there's a difference,

but the after is not a negative difference. The after And you've got to remember, a woman's body has to get back to normal, you you know, you just let and and I'm not talking about the normal like a Mota would say of the push, I'm talking about the normal of like you know, um, it's it's like going through surgery, right, so you have to make sure the body and it takes one like six weeks, yes, six to like twelve weeks before your body kind of just

starts feeling normal again and then you start working out and stuff like that. But in my experience, it got better afterwards, it really did. Yeah, and I've had you know, I never thought in my head, like you know, this feels this feels different. Oh, I don't feel feel more aroused or I don't feel I feel like it's it's uh not as as it was before, you know, quote unquote tight or anything like that. It just everything, like I mentioned before, it goes back. It's like a muscle,

you know, it goes it goes back to normal. The truth of the matter is that, yes, your body is going through a whole bunch of changes all around and obviously wants to stand in the mirror and your body

has changed from the woman that you originally you know saw. Yes, it can be traumatic for you, and at the same time, you do a lot of times, not every time, but if you're a working mom or if you have, you know, several kids, you barely have time to take time for yourself to work out and take care of you because you're like taking care of newborns. You know, your body looks. You know, we are from what you wanted it to be. And and it's just a lot, it's a lot on

the play. But important to have a really good support system and have people that love you and support you and and help you understand. And if you have a good partner next to you that's willing to instead of because I've seen this happen so much. There's so many men that can be so judgmental towards their own partner, towards their own wife, where you discredit her, make her feel bad for her, her the way that her body has transformed, and support her. Let's go to the gym together,

you know what. Let's not eat this tonight tonight, Let's cook dinner together, something healthier, like, you know, figure out ways. Because something that I did see on social media was how they how they the latran right, they uplift the dad body. The dad body is the great thing, like, oh, you have such an awesome body, you know with you know, if you have a big tummy or whatever, it's hot,

But what about the mom bodies? These bodies that these bodies that are creating a life are the ones that are being you know, made fun of or made they

make them feel ashamed. So that I got a question for you about And I've seen a lot of women do this where they do some type of physical activity, doing yoga, doing I mean even lifting weights and going to the gym and and writing their their pelotons through the entire uh like pregnancy for you and yourself as your when did you notice your body kind of like taking shape? Not because of just the belly because you

have kids, right, but everything else. How was that for you? Well, I'll tell you this, Like, um, the ending of my first trimester, I noticed that my daughter was kind of swollen, and I was a little bit concerned, like what the hell is going on? And I was like and I would like, you know, try to do all types of circus so late, you know, trying to see what is going down there. And then um, I went to the doctors and they told me what one, it's the blood flow.

You know, there's pressure, the uterus is going down, the babies are growing, and yes, that's going to make you know your vagina swoll up a little bit, all right? Cool? I noticed that I was very juicy, and I was like, oh my god, like do I want it? And I want I don't know what's happening. My body is telling me. I guess that I'm supposed to. I don't know what's going on. So you're trying to understand your body. What's happening.

Your breast becomes sore. Um, you know you're my back now, I'm starting to do the wobble like I do that thing where you walk like set aside really like a penguin. I don't mean to. I just don't even know when I do it. My momi one like, oh my gosh, she's already wobbling. I'm like, what do you mean? So I guess the way you kind of like start finding balance by walking side to side. My back hurts. Um your feet to have your feet changed. No, no feeling

at home. I haven't gotten swollen, Like my face got a little bit chunkier. My feet having gotten swollen lamano not a lot of pregnancy, especially with girls ps nala um. And then obviously my stomach has grown, which has made past stretch marks that I already had intensify a little bit. I have that very dark line in the middle of my tummy going down. My belly button is completely lost lost. Yeah, like all of it is out, like you know, there's no any nothing, you know, you know, the babies are

about to come because the belly button pops. You're like, hey, let's go. Belly button already popped. So yeah, has my body changed? Yeah? Of course. Have I seen other women that their bodies have changed way more than mine's first? Sure, you know I've heard women like, oh, I get a hundred and fifty pounds and you know, like um, and I've seen a lot of women that never get their bodies back, you know, their bodies never go back to how they used to be. Like their bodies sacomolan. That's

another thing. It's hard than me. And but I don't know how you're supposed to do it. A lot of womenomolan with their new bodies, and it's like, you know, that's it. You know, it is what it is. Take it. What does your mom saying about her when she was pregnant with you? Does your mom talk about how her body changed it all? She says that supposedly before she had me, she had a fat ass and I took it away from her. But that's a lie because she's

never had no booty, so that's a lie. But her tell me, yeah, her tell me, you know, did did stuff for some consequences because back then, even c sections were different. It wasn't the side like a little side, you know, bahito, It was one of those from the belly button down. They would just slip, you know, like old school c sections and would just slide you open. So she has that. It almost looks like a butt in the front. But um, she would hate me for

seeing that. But it's a truth. That's how surgeries used to be back in the days. Um, So yeah, you know, she she has. I don't think she got so caught up in being a mother that she didn't really take that time to take care of herself again like she probably should have. So that happens. And and remember too, like there's more than just the physical aspect, right, You're talking about your your actual like respiratory system, cardiovascular system,

everything inside of you is working over time. And you know what, guys, I'm glad that you're hearing the male perspective okay. Sometimes I feel like these conversations don't really happen a lot for men. It's always women talking about it like it's normal. Guys, like stop being an ass. You know, her body is going through this and it should be cool, like you're gonna get your girl back, but fall back for a little bit in a relationship. How does that affect when a woman can't really be

sexually active? Are you okay holding off for a little bit or you know, was it hard for you to be like, damn, I have to wait like all these weeks or like two or three months in the beginning. Yeah, So for me in my head, I was like, oh damn, Like I can't get it in, you know what I'm saying. But I had to kind of step back and remember what just happened, you know, and and there's pain, and

there's you know, like like you said, there's tearing. There's all kinds of things that happen, you know, to a female anatomy when when you have a baby. So at first I was like, oh man, but you know, as time goes by and she starts, you know, feeling better and not having to wear a diaper anymore, you know, like you know, you know, because you know you you have to make sure you're you take care of yourself, plain and simple. You just have to take care of yourself.

My thing is too big sexy. After you see it come out, when you see the prod, they just see it coming, don't She was like, don't, don't if you see it come out and it's like a big tunnel and everything, She's like why and everything just comes out? How do you stick it back? But it was it was to me, it didn't bother me. It just didn't bother me at all. It's crazy, I might, I might just be the outlier here. It just doesn't bother me. I cried, Oh yeah, yeah I didn't. It was just

like I was. I was overwhelmed. But that's because you didn't see it. You just saw that, but you have to It's like, yeah, I also have to cut the baby's on meilical cord. Right, So I took I took that, you know, the dark you had one rule look and the dark was like, hey, you know, would you like the I was like, oh my god, yeah, that's that's my my child right there. Yeah, for sure, I'm sure

it's a beautiful thing. But afterwards I'm like, dude, you know you're in here, you look at it, and then later on you're gonna stick it in there and then you're gonna lose you. Not at all. Us guys are like, hell no, man, we're going back in. I don't know what you're talking about. The problem is that you have you know, and not you. But this is just a stigma, right, we have we have the way that we look at things. We everything has to be has to have a physical

standard to it, right. But for us guys, I'm sorry, that goes out the door. Once you're okay and cool, let's put the baby to sleep because I am coming back. Yeah. Was it weird also having the baby there and then you know, like, okay, I'm going to do it. No, not at all. It's a baby. The baby doesn't like. All it does is cry and get FEDS. It's not like the baby is gonna be like, hey, you putting your dangling in my mom? No like this? Oh my god, Arlene,

is there is there anything like? Are these I mean, I know you're not necessarily maybe ready at this moment, right, but are these any of your concerns or have you thought of any of these things? Are you just like whatever it is, what it is. Um, Well, you know, I actually was pregnant and I lost my my baby. This happened last year. UM so I I was able

to have the baby. I was four months pregnant. So my body started to change significantly, and like you've talked about, it felt like an outer body experience, Like I didn't feel like I was in my body. I was used to working out and I looked a certain way, and all of a sudden, you know, I went from a size beac up to like a sea cup and every

everything just changed. So I mean, but listening to all this, there's a lot of things that women think about, especially you know how there's this pressure to bounce back immediately for your partner, but also if you're in the entertainment industry, the pressures of Hollywood too. Yeah. And one last thing, um that I wanted to bring up to you two, is you know that you're just You're gonna be overwhelmed

for the first couple of months. I think sex might not even be the first thing, not even the last thing on your mind to be completely honest for a while. And I'll tell you why. And I'm to prepare you for this, because as somebody who sat on the outside looking in, you're gonna do this, Okay. Not only you got to try to take care of yourself after pregnancy, right and you know you're going through a C section,

so you gotta make sure everything's good there. Secondly, you're gonna be feeding these kids at all times of the night and day. Every two hours. You will be up. Okay, You're gonna be missing sleep for almost the first year and a half to two years. Okay, you will be changing double the diapers, feeding double the children, getting double the food. Whether you're breastfeeding or not, or whatever you decide to do, you're still going to have to be up every two hour feeding two kids. So you will

be I'm telling you right now. The she would wake up and I would instantly wake even though I had to be up early to go to work. I would wake up with her and I would rub her bag while she was breastfeeding the baby. She would fall, you know, she would she would be down. You know, her body is just tired. Man. Just like, let me tell you something. I'm gonna say something really quick that happen my baby shower.

You know, I got emotional when I first, you know, came out and I saw the audience and they opened the currents because you don't mean everything has to be dramatic and extras hell, and I did like a very royal, you know, baby shower. And when I came out, I I stood there in the crowd and I just looked to the right and I looked to the left, and I did my best to take every that moment in and when they gave them when they gave him the mic and they allowed me to talk and give a

couple of words. I thank everybody for coming and you know, all those things. But I said, it was so hard for me to stand there because in my mind, I had a different vision of how that day would go. I never thought that I would be standing on that stage by myself. And at least I had the support of my friends and family that came there, and obviously

I had my girls. But I just wish that I would have had you know, him, or a man just holding my hand in that process, you know, And I was I started crying, and it was such an emotional moment for me because I'm like, damn, my baby shower, my first time, my first journey, just the first time of everything, and it didn't happen the way that I visualized.

But later on I realized how my words um were impactful because I got a message from somebody who actually went to the event, and it was a guy and he actually came as a guest for one of the people that I actually invited, and he d mned me on Instagram and he said, after hearing your word, they really touched me and it made me want to be a better man for the mother of my children, even though we're not together. And that's something that I really

feel like. That's why to me, this podcast, this episode specifically, is so important because we're not here to bash any women. We're not here to talk down or anything. It's really too event to share experiences, to learn from each other. Um. Sometimes you can even see it as an educational moment.

But I'll so for men, if you feel that you if you feel or you know rather better that you could be a better father, that you could be a better dad, that you could be a you know, a better support system to the mother of your children, whether you guys are together or not, that's fine. Do so because it's so hard on women society already puts enough pressure on us. And then when we finally, you know, do have these children, your body changes, your mind changes,

everything changes. And it's so hard when you don't have that support system, especially if you had something to do with it, if you were the one there, you know, putting all the pumps in there. You remember when you were pumping it. You remember that, right, Remember it was juicy. You liked it right, and you didn't and you did all of that in there. Okay, Well guess what after you did all of that, she got pregnant. And now well, even while you're working, even while you're gone, no matter

what happens, she always has to be there. She doesn't get to have breaks, she doesn't get to be like you know what, pause, I don't want to do this right now. I want to where's the receipt? I want to give the baby back. She doesn't get to do any of those things. She has to be there at all times. So, if you have the possibilities of being a better father, or a better support system, of being nicer, of being more caring, of asking how are you doing,

how do you feel? What about you? It's not about me. I know the kids are important, but how are you doing because if she is not doing good, she can be the best mother that she can be for your children as well. So you know, I just want to put that out there because I know that there's a lot of men that really could be doing better. And you know, your trash damn that was amazingly well put, heartfelt obviously and a hundred percent true. Be a man, you know, and step up to the plate. That's all.

That's that's my two cents. That's yes, Arlen. Do you agree with me? I do, And I'm grateful for your honesty. And and you know, in that moment when you were at the baby shower getting so emotional, how do you not? You know, women have these expectations, and we do this to ourselves sometimes. We have this expectation of what we hope. It's mostly about like what our hopes are, especially when you're pregnant. It's like an example of what your future

is and what that looks like. So for you to be so honest, I I know that your listeners and your fans are gonna connect with that because that's why they listen. Yeah for sure, And you know what, um not just you guys listening, But I would love for you guys to share your experience and your stories with us as well. You know, we're always there reading the comments. Like I said before, whether you go to the YouTube channel and leave a comment there or you go to

exactly a Mada on Instagram and also on Twitter. Um, I'm always there to read the comments and see you know what you've guys been through as well. I would love to know if there's any guy that knows, like, damn, I really should be a better father, I really should be a better support system to her, even though we're not together. At some point, you know I did like her, or even if you didn't like her and it was

just a smash, whatever the case may have been. She is a woman raising your children, you know, raising your your children. So definitely, if you know that you could do better, write comments down. I want to read it. And if you're a single mother or you don't feel like you have a support system, also talk because we're

always there. You know, if you need us, we're right there. Um. And I always think it is good to have a helping hand and just someone that's gonna hear you, because sometimes you just need someone that's gonna hear you out right, Um, pol Seed. I am grateful as usual to have Alex Big Sexy in the house. Are lean, Mrs Juicy Um, today's episode has been really good. Thank you guys so much for joining me. You guys are yes for sure.

I hope that this episode has been helpful in some ways somehow, so any of you guys, um, and I hope that it touched somebody's heart. But with that being said, thank you guys so much for joining me Every Thursday. I remember to follow like I said before, exactly I'm out of my QUIETUDA podcast on Instagram, and remember that this has been a production of I Heearts Michael podcast Network. For more podcasts from my Heart, visit the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you'd like to listen

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