Bian Benidos to the show. Welcome to the show.
I am a girl Amara Negra, and you're listening to Exactly Amada, a production of iHeart you guys already know that. Thank you so much for tuning in. I'm so grateful for every single one of you. I hope you guys have been enjoying this season of Exactly Amada. I hope you've learned stuff, You've connected with me, You've gotten to know more of me, all those great things, because I just love doing.
This show for you, guys, I really do. Don't forget to subscribe.
To the podcast on your favorite podcast platform and rad us those five stars. I love to see leave us a review, and you know we love to see what you guys have to say. I'm always down to reply and be part of your experience on my show. Head over to the YouTube where you will be able to watch or listen to the podcast by searching for micro through that podcast and clicking on Exactly Amada. Today's topic
is about social media influencers and the youth. This is a very important topic, Okay, as as a mother, as an as an artist, as a daughter, as a woman, as a human being, as everything you can imagine, I have my own perspective and opinion on social media, and I have it from both aspects.
I have it from.
Being the one that influences others to do things and behave a certain way, or you know, the fashion statement or the music that they listen to, or their opinions of relationships and all these other great things. And then I also have my opinion from the other side, the other spectrum of being the one influenced by the things that I see. Today we're going to talk about a
very serious topic and is very urgent topic. The truth of the matter, it is that throughout the years, you know, social media influencers to me to a certain extent, should be accountable right for the youth behavior and the way that it harms the youth and the generation to come. But at the same time, there's another part of me that feels like social media shouldn't be your mother and your father. Social media shouldn't be the ones teaching you how to live your life, how to behave in the.
Things that you should and shouldn't do better.
At the same time, we spend most of our time even as adults, you know, we're talking about kids.
The adults we spend a.
Lot of time, hours of our days stuck on social media.
What do we expect our kids to do?
Our kids probably spend probably even more time, especially now with the whole TikTok and everything else. I'm not the biggest TikToker, which, by the way, you guys can follow me at a mad aln on TikTok.
I don't really TikTok.
But besides TikTok, there's so many new social media apps and just websites and all types of stuff snapchats and Instagram and Facebook and you know Once upon a time, Twitter, now x and you know the Thriller, And there's just so many things to keep up. That's how I know that I'm feeling old, because like I can't keep up with everything else is going on.
But this topic, I've seen it.
I've seen parents talk about it, educators, experts concern about the negative effect that social media and influencers have on mental health, and you know, children and adolescents.
I personally have mixed emotions.
There's a part of me that feels like, you know, what if you're an adult and you're over here, you know, motivating, influencing, you know, teenage kids, or whatever the case may be, to do stupid trends or you know, stick your hand in boiling water and look and see what happens type of thing. Yes, you should be held accountable, but at the same time, there's a part of me that feels, as a parent, it is my duty to raise my children to.
Know what to do and what not to do.
Don't stick your hand and know damn boiling water, because you already know what's going to happen.
Why are you listening to this person? I understand.
The kids spend so much time on social mediu and all these other platforms, and they end up becoming friends and socializing with other you know, all these other people, and now they want to listen and follow to what everybody else is saying. Social media influencers are the people who have the large just numbers of followers on platforms like Instagram, YouTube, TikTok, snapchat, all these other things, and they promote products and services, lifestyle and their own opinions
like I do myself. I get paid to promote a lot of products just because you see someone on social media that you follow rocking a Chanel bag, you know, a Hermez bag, driving a Ferrari living in a penhuse doesn't mean that you have to go broke trying to follow that lifestyle that may not be for you.
That is life that they are living.
It is unfair for this person to have to modify the way that they live, the things that they've worked for, the life that they have, so that these people that follow them don't feel a certain type of way about them, or that they don't feel, you know, insecure about their own lifestyle or their own way of living.
Be happy with what you have too.
I also think that that's important because we also we always want to blame those that are you know, influencing some of those that are influencing them to do you know, negative things. But at the same time, why aren't we talking about, well, those that do influence them to do good. Because there's a lot of people out of here on social media that are influencing people to do good with your life, to study, to you know, invest in real estate, bigcoins that to get an education, to go to church.
There's so many there's platforms that teach you how to cook, there's so many platforms that teach you to do good and better for yourself. But we only want to attack those that are doing stupid things on social media. I think that as adults, as parents, and I know that is very hard because at one point I'm going to have to deal with that as well.
I have two girls now.
Eventually, maybe from here to when there are adults, Instagram and all these other platforms that we use now may not even exist.
Maybe, you know, everything will be virtual. Who knows what the world will look like.
But I think to a certain extent, it's unfair to, you know, judge these people for what they do. And I understand the influence that they have in the culture, the influence that they have, but I also think that it is important.
For us to know who we are. We gotta do some self work too. I don't think we can just blame.
I've heard since that was growing up, the same thing they used to say back in the days.
We've heard, you know, hip hop songs.
We've seen movies, We've seen so many things that have so much violence.
I can hear a song talking about bang bang bang.
Okay, I'll just say, okay, it's just a song to me. It doesn't mean I have to take it into real life. So I think that the work really comes from home. The work really comes from your household, from your foundation at home is where the work needs to be done. You can listen when you go outside, you can listen to all those things, but if you're raised properly, if you've been taught well, if you want better for yourself, Because sometimes I feel like we can't just blame our parents.
Our parents may teach us right, but we're the hard headed ones that want to go in a different route.
Well, life is going to teach you, you know what I mean.
I also don't feel that in many occasions, we see a lot of people talking.
About, well, the parents need to do this, and the parents.
Maybe the parents are doing those things, but unfortunately, to a certain extent, parents don't get to be with the children twenty four hours, you know, all twenty four hours in the day.
They spend a lot of time in school.
We don't know who our children are socializing when they're in school, what they're listening to, what they're doing in that space. So I feel that is unfair to also just blame one thousand percent, you know, the parents for the children's behavior. There's just so much that goes into this because we also have to understand that these platforms are made for adults, and yes, certain children have access to it after a certain age.
But who should be held accountable?
Should it be the platforms that are creating this, Like should Instagram, you know, Facebook and all these other platforms be held accountable. All they're doing is just giving you a platform to showcase whatever it is that you want, if you follow the trend that's on you. It is a very sensitive space because I've been judged so much. I've been judged for the way that I dance that I affect the youth. I've been judged for the way that I behave on reality TV because it affects the youth.
It affects the way that, you know, other women view their life or the way that they are being portrayed, you know, as a stereotype.
I've been accused of blackface.
I've been accused of you know, I've been accused of so many things. I've been I've been somewhat based off social media. The social media court right held accountable for certain things that I'm like, I'm living my life and there's no guidebook on how to live your life.
I've made many mistakes in my life and I'm still learning.
I'm still growing. This is part of life. Like no one teaches you how to live. You go through the process, You go through the journey on your own. We see women like Kim Kardashian and things like this that they promote. For example, now the broadwood nipples. You know, now all the women want to have hard nipples, and now was a trending thing. Now this is becoming like the new trend, the new style. When they decided to do you know, fillers and the more, you know, like juicy lips. Now
everyone decided to do that. I understand because the amount of millions of followers that they have and the money that they have that they are able to influence a culture, a whole generation based off what they're saying. But then again here comes us, when do we take accountability for
the things that we decide to do with ourselves. I've seen a lot of surgeons talk about, oh, well, I have a lot of you know, women coming in here trying to have the chin of this person, the nose of that person, the mouth of this person.
Boobs.
But they try to, you know, like do a puzzle of all these different celebrities to become this I also see the other point of like, well, these celebrities are influencing, you know, society. They are the ones putting the quote unquote standards of beauty and making women, you know, and men feel insecure about their looks and who they are as a person.
You know.
It is so hard because, like I said before, I can see both sides.
I don't know how.
To pick a side because to a certain extent, I work on the other side where I influence. I work on the other side, where you know, I have to take accountability and say that the things that I do post, the things that I do do at a certain tools a certain extent.
Yes, I get it. It does influence a lot of my followers.
For example, when I first did I song, which is like my first hit song, Dominican Republic, I back then I felt super comfortable and I still do rocking my afro and my afro was questioned in so many ways, why is your hair like that? Well, because I'm black, why is your hair? Why does your hair stand up? Because it just naturally does, just because society has accustomed us to seeing, you know, black women with straight hair,
It doesn't mean that that naturally is our nature. So when I did it, I had to fight consistently to represent and talk about my hair and why I was like then it was like, okay, well then now I'm just gonna wear an afro wig because it was just doing a lot of damage to my hair from one show to the other. You know, I didn't have enough time to treat my hair to make sure it looked perfectly.
So I rocked the wig afro.
But even before rocking the wig, afro, me standing with the representation of what I wanted to see, of who I wanted to be, of who I was. Me staying true to myself at that moment inspired other women, a lot of other women, and a lot of children, a lot of girls and boys to just rock their afro.
That became a statement, But then it also became a statement I had to fight because then now throughout the years, I rocked you know, wigs, and I've done all these other things, and I understood obviously, it took me a long time to understand. You know what, my hair doesn't identify me, is just part of who I am. My hair doesn't specify who I am as a person. It's just part of who I am. And just because I have, you know, braids on and then rock different wigs. Now,
it doesn't mean I'm less black. It doesn't mean I'm less Afro Latina. It doesn't mean I stand my beliefs have changed. It just means that I put on a wig. You know, I am trying different looks. It just means that I am an artist and I should be able to be flexible with my looks.
And I'm okay with that. But I didn't realize in.
The moment how a lot of my followers felt with these changes, because I influenced them to a certain extent. I always like to say that because I don't want to never feel responsible one hundred percent for people's behavior the way that they feel, because that's, you know, that's.
The way that you feel. I never realized how how impactful.
It was when I decided to start changing looks for me because I needed to do was good, what was best for me. But a lot of people felt attached to that feeling. So when I started changing, they felt very upset. They started judging me, how could you do this? You have betrayed us?
You da da da da. I'm like, I still don't purm my hair.
The AfOR was still there after, you know, fifteen years of the same look, I just wanted to change and try something differ, and I feel it was the worst feeling ever. And that's just one example of many. You know, I've changed looks throughout the years, different styles of clothes, of wardrobe, just I've changed, I've evolved them.
I've been exploring myself the person.
But at the same time, people get so caught up in these influencers, in these celebrities and these people that they look up to, that I think that they forget that they're also just human, and they're also learning, and they're also exploring, and their life is not perfect. No matter how photoshop you see their life on social medium, that's not truly what it is. And I'm telling you because I stand on the other side of it. I've seen it, I'm living it, I'm around them.
What you see is not always what it is.
You know. I'm a fan of Beyonce, for example, and I'm sure that Beyonce has her bad days. I'm sure she has her days where she's uncomfortable, where she's tired, where she's over it, where she still has to be a wife, where she still has to be a mother, because she's still a regular person. Even though we idle these people, it doesn't mean that she may have not been you know, maybe she was cramping, maybe her head hurt. But she still gets up on stage, she smiles, she
gives you the best of her. But we can't forget that there's still human beings. We can't forget that there's still regular people that we have idolized. That we the people have given them this platform. We the people have given them this power. When we say that these influencers have all these millions of followers and now they influence society, They influence you know, the next generation to come, They influence their children. We the people have given them those followers.
You follow them, you'll give them that power.
We see a lot of people doing a lot of stupid things on social media. You'll follow them.
You sit there and you watch them, You give them views and likes, You add on to their power. So to you know, when we see these people and we're over here judging them, you're talking about them. You talk about them, you criticize them, You follow them, you give them views, you share, you like, like, we've created this monster of social media. We've created. These monsters of influencers
we've created. We give them our money, we make them rich, we sacrifice our life, our time to give them this platform, but then we are upset when they influence our children. I think it's important for us to also take accountability. Like I said before, you know, life existed before social media, and I know that you can't take it away. But I also feel that when we're talking about children and teenagers and stuff like that, till they're eighteen years old
and they're in your households, you have that power. You have that control the best that you can. The best that you can means once you walk up into this house, that phone drops right there at the door. Period, Like you make the rules and regulations, when you step out in case of an emergency, you have your phone. So that means that you get to have your phone when you're out of here, when you're out of this house,
you have a phone. So if in that time that you're in a home, you watch some stupid stuff and you fall for it, that's that right which, to be honest, you should be in school learning something. And as a parent, I also think it's important to be you're in school after school you have soccer, you have basketball, you have biolin, you have you have so many things that by the time you get home.
I need you to be exhausted.
You need to be too tired that you don't feel like doing twenty tiktoks before you go to bed. That's my opinion, right as a parent, now that is my opinion.
You may have a different method.
You may be so exhausted that you just don't care, or you may be like, you know what, I can't avoid social media. My kid needs to have it, or you know what, I want my kid. Whatever it is, it works for you. As a parent, judgment free zone, that's what you do. But then again, you also need to make yourself responsible for the things that your child does.
I plan on having my house regulations.
You have a phone when you get out in case of an emergency, when you walk in here phone, drop the phone in the lock whiles, I'll give it to you in the morning.
That's just what it is. You can use a computer.
In the computer, you can somewhat let's just say, right, iPad computer.
You put restrictions. You can use this. This is what it is.
You remember back in the days when your mom used to look at you or your dad. You know what I'm saying the wire, whatever it was, you knew you need to follow house rules, rules and regulations. There's no more rules and regulations. You know, a lot of people just do whatever they want right now. I'm just talking about when it comes to social media influencers and the youth, right.
I'm talking about the control that as parents you have.
Over your children and the things that they can watch and can do once they step out of your household.
I understand that there's a limit of things that you can do, but.
In your household, as a parent, communication should be key. Whatever it is that you need to be doing, then you go ahead and you do that for the protection and the safety of your kid. We're supposed to be here together as a unit, as a house, as a family. There's a difference bit you respect and fearing your parents. I need you to respect me. It's not about being scared. I need you to be able to be open with me and tell me Mommy or Bobby Meda, this is happening to me.
I'm scared. They're bullying me. I don't know what to do. What should I do?
There should be a space of yes, I am your parent, but I also can be I can be I'm not I can be your friend. What is happening if your kids are so scared to talk to you, but they feel more comfortable to talk to social media, that's a problem. If we're exalted from doing three four jobs, come home.
Now you're exalusted and you.
Don't feel like you have the time to communicate with your kid or you know what, you got it, here's your iPad. I don't want to do it if that's how you feel, which I respect and I understand because each his own judgment free zone. Let me know how life was for you growing up. I want to know all these things, hobbies, exercise, socializing with friends and family, all those things have been modified. Your children spend your When I say your children, I mean it could be
the children of this of this generation of society. They spend more time on iPads video games than they do spending time with their family.
You remember those at the house.
Sometimes your mom would just put on music and you guys would dance. You would sit down on Saturdays to watch Don Francisco. Weg up in the morning to watch the Pierreto America or whatever it may have been a lot of that. The cultural aspect has been you know, gone, It is vanished. We can still save it. We can still save it, but the savings starts with us. We
need to make those things happen. For example, sometimes I'm at home and I realize I've been stuck on my phone so long, answering messages, talking about work, my real estate, you know, filming this, that all type of stuff. My girls may be at the crib and it's been an hour and I've been stuck on my phone, and I realized it, and I'm like, oh, no, I dropped the phone.
Turn it off. I don't care who's calling me.
This is my family time, this is my my mother time, this is my me time.
And it's not just because of.
My girls, because I spend you know, twenty four hours with my girls, but it could even be my mother. You know, my mother and my father are elderly people at this point in life. You know, they're already past your sixties. This is just the way that life is.
And I realize sometimes I'm spending more time, you know, on my phone than really enjoying their presence, enjoying their company, because at one point, unfortunately The truth of the matter is they no longer will be here, and my phone will still be here, but they won't Where do my priorities stand at? You know, those things are important. You
need to realize what exactly is your priority. I don't know as as much as I blame social media for the way that they have influenced our children, the next generation, even ourselves, because today's topic is not really as for adults per se.
Right. I remember growing up, my mother Medenia had that.
I was so over her because I was like, yo, I don't have no like freedom and you know, like my freedom, which I didn't realize it back then, my freedom was dancing.
She's like, after school you have.
Dance classes, and then on Tuesdays you have acting classes. And then on was like, hey, yeah, you have modern classes, and then you have you get to learn how to you know, eat a table. You have to learn you have this, and you have that, and then you also have you know what, you've never tried an instrument? What instrument do you want to try? Okay, well, then now you're going to try the piano. You like the piano, you can try the guitar. She had me so busy.
I didn't realize that the girls that were like fifteen my age knew so much more than I did. Like there were a lot of things I didn't even know what to do, or I didn't even know about sex, for example, or a lot of other things because I thought it was regular. I just feel like everybody had a busy schedule like me, Like when you go home, you must be caught up too, because I know that when I go home, I have a thousand other classes, and in these classes, there's a thousand other kids, So
everybody must have the same schedule. So then later on I realized, wait, no, that's just me. What do you do when you go home? Oh you're just home? Oh okay, so you don't have nothing else to do? No, oh okay me. I had Spanish classes, I had diction classes I had and that was another thing my mom made sure. And I'm just speaking from my personal experience. I just know that my mom was like, what do you want to do when you grow up? I always knew exactly what I wanted to do, but a lot of kids
don't know what they want to do. So if they don't know what they want to do, then as parents, you have to give them the space to do those things. And that means how about maybe you were maybe you had all the ability of being the best soccer or tennis or whatever, or the best painter, but because no one ever gave, they expose you to those things, You've never explored that side of you. Keep your kids busy. Boundaries are important, communication is important.
You are the parent you choose.
Stop blaming social media for the way that your children are being raised, because if they're stuck on TikTok all.
Day, who pays for that cell phone bill? Who pays for that internet? You do? You'll take control, you take charge.
You create the schedule, you create the discipline, you'll create the family time.
All I'm saying is find that balance, find that space.
It's important for us to take responsibility and accountability for the way that we raise our kids. For their self esteem, their self image, for.
All those things.
And yes, we know that the world influences, but no one influences more your life than your parents. No one has more influence in your life than the things that they see in their household when they come home. I don't know if I'm wrong, I don't know if I'm right. I'm still learning. I'm still trying to figure it out. But whatever it is, let me know. Give me your opinion, Okay, give me your opinion on the YouTube, on the review, wherever it may be.
Trust me, I will be right there to check it out.
Anyways, With that being said, today's topic was about social media influencers and youth. And I hope that you guys learned something today or that you connected with me in any shapeway or form, because I know that I'm passionate about this topic, because I am on bold spectrums of this conversation, and I always want to be a positive influencer society, into the world and to women, and I want my daughter to be proud of me. So if
I'm doing it wrong, let me know. If I'm doing it right, let me know too.
Anyways, thank you so much for being part of exactly a Mada. Make sure to find me on YouTube.
Catch my show by searching for micro that podcast on YouTube and clicking on exactly Amata. Follow me on Instagram at amadaa aln Amada al n. This is a production of Ihearts micro through that podcast Network. More podcasts from my Heart visit iHeartRadio app Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.