Pregnancy, Infertility, Miscarriages and More

not when it happened. And I think that God's timing is perfect. Everything happens in due time. And I'm talking about it this way because I know that there's a lot of girls, a lot of women that have gotten pregnant. You don't know what to do. You think that it's bad timing. You know, I've to see me being a woman in the in the entertainment industry. I'm very I'm extremely ambitious. I'm always looking for the next project. I'm

always looking for the next bigger thing to do. And while being pregnant, you know, I am currently doing three TV shows. I have my podcast, I have my real estate, I have a lot of things, and I just didn't feel like I was prepared. Um. And then later on, you know, nonetheless that I think I would end up being a single mother, And that's another story. You guys can wait for another episode of that single mother's bed. I waited for so long, and I just wanted to

do things the right way. I think it's also all women. We dream of getting married with the white dress and having a husband and having a home and just the fairy tale. And I didn't get my fairy tale. It doesn't mean that I can't get it eventually, because they come onst So it doesn't mean that I can't get my fairy tale eventually. But the process of my conceiving hood, the process for me wasn't necessarily the easiest for those

I got to see love in hip hop Miami. You guys, Um, I had the opportunity to see a little bit into my life. UM, probably more than I would have wanted to expose in the first place. Um. I I showed you guys that I had had a miscarriage. The part that I didn't say it was I was pregnant originally with triplets, all natural. UM. Knowing vitro no, nothing like that. I come from a very fertile line of women where my grandmother had sixteen children, you know, sixteen fourteen. My

my uncle has twelve kids. Like, it's a very Dominican, you know, compo thing where it's normal. And to to them, they were like, well, you're starting late. You know, you're already like, oh, during your thirties and you're gonna start having kids now. It's like, but obviously my lifestyle is different, um than there's but um. I originally was pregnant with three, I lost one, and I currently have my twins, which, um,

you know, I'm excited, I'm happy. But in the process of me losing what I thought was my only pregnancy, at the moment, I cried, I suffered. I was upset physically and emotionally. Uh, mainly like emotionally because I felt like I wasn't ready but now that I feel that I'm ready, I lost my opportunity to be a mom. You know, maybe it's a it's a sign from God. And then I felt physically hurt because the cramps I was going through, you know, I was bleeding, the cramps.

It was just so much because it's terrible when you have a miscarriage. I don't think a lot of people understand that you still a lot of times, you know, you still go through contractions. And I remember seeing myself bleeding, you know, my thighs. I was just bleeding, and I was like, what the hell like, this is not like a period, and I was bleeding for three weeks straight.

But I also have fireboards, and that's another topic that's really important that eventually we'll talk about, because it happens a lot in the African American community. It happens a lot amongst um and a lot of women overall, you know, have fireboards. Things that you don't know till you go get that checked out, and that can also be a

reason of it infertility and um and many things. So today, since um, you know my my my journey has been so public on social media, I hadn't had an opportunity to really talk about it freely like I am right now, m through my platform. And I wanted to bring a guess because you know, today's topic is about infertility and reproduction. And I know there's a lot of women out there, more than I ever even knew, that want to have babies and camp that they struggle to get pregnant. I

just felt like, well, I'm a very fertile person. I'm a very fertile woman, even though that I'm just finally deciding to have kids. Now, get what I'm saying. This entertainment industry, your career is priority, and a lot of times, you know, if anything happened, it was like, this is not the right time. I have other priorities, right, Um, But I just never knew that there were so many women out there trying to conceive and they couldn't. So

today I have my friend Rachel. I don't know took her Rachel Rachel la loga which one look English loga. I mean that if you guys didn't know, she is amazing. She has such an amazing spirit, her energy. I love what she's doing a s at three. She's a producer, writer, podcaster. She is also from Brooklyn, Gang Gang Gang, New York. Dominicana and Jewish American RDA about Mina. I had never had a jew Minicana before, but I love it. She

also is a women's activist. You know, I love women that are doing other things to support and empower other women that struggle with infertility and reproduction. Rights, ask my love, thank you so much for coming in today. I am so grateful to have you. I mean, I don't even know where to start. Where are you? Oh? Right now, I'm the New York City repping the Upper east Side. You know I read Brooklyn hard, but you know I'm living in Manhattan now. Um, I'm in my crib. This

is my little corner. I don't have an office. I don't have a big apartment. It's New York City, so I have a little nook where I do my podcasting from just like two walls. That's it. But it's so nice to be here, and I want to shout you out a matter for taking on the challenge of talking about this subject matter which we're told to not talk about it for the most part. Right our culture teaches us that it's taboo, that miscarry just are your own secret,

something that you deal with. But when I see other women like yourself using their platforms to elevate the conversation, it's huge. You're moving mountains. These are the dialogues we need to be having because they make us stronger and more educated. And I'm so sorry for everything that you have gone through. You're an inspiration I've been following your story.

We had you on the Latinos Out Loud podcast years ago when you just hit love and hip hop, and I knew from your energy what a beautiful person you are in and out. And I'm so proud of you. You're really doing it and you're doing it for women, And uh, yeah, I'm just I'm an open book. I want to share my experience and anything else you want to know. But I mean, the first thing I want to know is it is true not only in the

Latino community, I also know in many other cultures. Um. When you talk about, you know, a miscarriage, it is like a secret and a lot of times it's something that uh and religiously I'm being but in many occasions they blamed women for it. You must have done something this you know, and this is a curse or this is a punishment, or this is a an A lot of times it can bring a lot of pressure onto women as if it's our fault and not because it

happened through natural causes. Um. But I want to know what inspired you, what motivated you to want to be an activist for you know, reproduction rights and for women that are suffering in fertility. I went through a lot on my own. I had an uphill battle to become a mother. Um just in a nutshell, I lost five pregnancy. The first one I lost to a genetic abnormality. Yeah, I had a baby girl. I was pregnant at sixteen weeks um. They did all the testing and they found

that she had a genetic abnormality. Try saw me twenty one. I had to have a d n C or an abortion where I had to terminate the pregnancy, or I chose to terminate the pregnancy at sixteen weeks um and again due to a genetic abnormality. What would have been some of the things, you know, the effects. So a try saw me is when there's an extra chromosome, um and so on. The twenty one chromosome. Baby girl had an extra one, and that is an anomaly. It's a

genetic abnormality. And it's funny you say, like, you know, blame. For a long time, I was blaming myself. I was like, I, this must have been my fault during the process of you know, when when she was being formed in my womb. I must have ate something wrong. I must have had too much, I must have did something. But I did nothing. You know. The doctor explained that the chances of a woman at that time, my age, in my early thirties of having that is one in one thousand, and I

kept asking myself why am I the one? Why me? But then after thinking about it and injecting faith into the situation, I realized that I had to be the one I had to represent for that one in one thousand women because I was the one chosen, because I was going to get through it, and I was going to learn from it and talk about it and motivate

other women. So that was the first loss. But you know, after going through what we went through to have that baby, or I'm sorry to get have that pregnancy, you know, I thought that there was something wrong. So I went to a reproductive endocrinologist to run some tests and to see what was happening and why it took me so long to get pregnant in the first place. I was diagnosed with polycystic ovarian syndrome also known as PCOS, which doesn't make a woman infertile, but it's short does make

her chances of getting pregnant harder. Um it's hormonal. There are hormone issues as a result. Diet issues. UM. I've been overweight my whole life until three years ago. We'll talk about that in a second. UM, and that's also in play. That's part of the reason. So back to the losses. After that, I decided to undergo infertility treatments. So we started with I UI intra uterine insemination UM, and I did I U I while saying I yi

yai because it's a lot on your body. Okay, there's a lot of injections, there's a lot of blood and blood thinners. I who intrunon insemination was uncomfortable. I call it the turkey based or method. Basically, they take, you know, a turkey based full of your husband's semen or your partner's semen and they just squirted up there um during your most fertile period. So that did not work. Tell

tell me about this. This process is painful because I've heard so many people talk about, Oh, I'm gonna get in vitro and I'm just gonna you know whatever, and they talk about it so easily, as if this is not a real process. Is this process? Does it hurt? Is it uncomfortable? What's the worst part of the process? UM? Because I feel like at this point, a lot of

people are making it more like a trend. I'm just gonna go get in beetro instead of understanding and realizing, yes, you can go ahead and do it for those that are financially can afford it or whatever, if you want to pick how many you want to have, the sexes, and all these other things. But this is really for a lot of women that really have issues and have problems and difficulties having being able to conceive. I love

this question, oh man. Okay, you would think that from how it's depicted on media, how the celebrities talk about it. What you just mentioned that IVF is the answer. If you can't get pregnant, get IVF. It'll get you knocked up. That's the tagline. Okay, No, not that easy, not as easy breezy as one would think. Um, I'm gonna answer this part of your question first. The hardest part of IVF for me was the emotional roller coaster. Okay, the

thinking that, okay, this is the solution. I've tried everything else and I'm here to get pregnant. Go ahead, reproductive endo chronologists get me pregnant. So after the first egg transfer, I remember sitting in recovery, and the doctor came up to me and said, guess what, right now, at this very moment, you're pregnant. You have an embryo that I just put inside that I hope stick to your uterus, So you're pregnant right now. And I started having a fetta.

I started partying in the recovery room. I'm like, ha ha, pregnant? How how pregnant? And then a few days later, my hCG levels started to dip and I started to lose the pregnancy and I was no longer pregnant, and I couldn't figure that out. I'm like, hold up, the doctor just told me that I was pregnant in the recovery room, and now I'm not what happened? IBF. I thought you're the solution. So to break that down, it's not easy. You know, the emotional part of it is the you know,

elevating your spirits. You know, your big transfer day, you're gonna get this embryo that the doctors and the biologists were working so hard on perfecting, and then they put it inside of you and you hope that it sticks. And then it's those next few weeks of just sort of waiting on the plank to find out whether you're gonna jump in or move back. And it's terrible. It's terrible. Um. I was not able to celebrate at any point during

my I v F journey. And I know that sounds a bit negative and down, but I guess after losing a pregnancy, after going through all the difficulty, and then sort of you're on this like thin ice of am I gonna make it? Is this? It? Am I finally going to be a mom? And then let's talk about the financial repercussion. Being coltoso is very expensive. The people be thinking, oh, okay, I if this is gonna cause me nothing or the insurance is gonna cover no, Mama.

Get doing the I v and going through the process, you thought, not only is it emotionally a roller coaster, not only is it financially in a roller coaster, not only is it physically a roller coaster, And not only for you if you're doing it by yourself, I can only but imagine it's a tough. It's tough because you

have to go through the process by yourself. But if you have a partner that's also doing this process with you, let's not forget about men as well, These men that want to support their women and want to have children just as bad as it as you know, many women. This is the rot coaster of emotions for them as well. And financially, I'm sure too so so my insurance company. At the time, I was working full time as a marketer, and so the insurance covered a big percentage of the process,

but the insurance did not cover the drugs. And the drugs in total. After four rounds of IVF transferring two embryos each round, and also in those second, third, and fourth rounds of IVF, the doctors also baked in another approach, you know, with other drugs needed. The drugs came out to about twenty eight thousand dollars, okay, and that is insane. That is insane between you know, just the hormones, injections,

other procedures I needed before the transfer. UM, we decided to do another d n C to sort of clean

me out VIKA and so then do the embryo. UM, we did something where they suppressed my immune system where I had to have an intravenous of some sort of you know, cocktails, some concoction that literally suppressed my immune system for a week, because the doctors thought that it was some sort of immuno um compromised ailment that I had that was rejecting each pregnancy from IVF because none of them were sticking for more than eight or ten weeks.

At that point, I told my partner, my husband, I was like, yo, since we gave up on the procreation thing because we start having sex again, Like we stopped doing that because we were so keen on having a baby that we almost like lost the love part of making love. So after IBF, we decided to chill. And then I needed some faith, am Ata. I just felt like I wasn't praying the right way. I felt like I wasn't connecting with God the way I needed to.

And so I took our CIA classes and I became baptized, confirmed, and I received all my holy sacraments in June as and and please, my dad was like, what do you mean You're leaving the Jewish religion. You're not gonna be a Jew anymore? What are you talking about? Already brought you a plot in the Jewish cemetery, you know, So that all was a whole other family debacle. And three months later, almost to the day, I got pregnant naturally with my now six year old son, Dawn of main Beta.

You're after all of that after three rounds of I U I four rounds of IVF. Such a blessing, and uh, you know, all I needed was faith faith. And sometimes I also think that from stories that have heard in the past, a lot of times it come. Sometimes you want things so bad and you're looking for it so hard,

and that's when it won't come. Sometimes you just have to chill and let God do its job and let it happen naturally, and you know, and and just let it flow, because sometimes you think that you're ready and you're really not, and God is just testing you. He's testing your faith, he's testing your body, He's just testing you. I mean, for those that are religious, for those that have faith, for those that believe, and if for those

that don't win them. Sometimes there's also lessons and it all happend on how you take it, you know what I'm saying. It really depends on how you just view what has happened to you. But something that I want to talk to you about that is more than proved that your exeast them when you want it so bad after so much money, after so much effort, after so much emotional roller coaster, after all those things, bah Baio,

gave you your baby better. Why do you think that this is such a taboo topic in the in the Latino community? Why is like in fertility such a thing? And I also think that's sometimes Latinos well La Mama

sometimes can be very like insensitive. I don't know. I feel like, why aren't we having these conversations the same way that we teach our daughters about their periods, and we teach about them and all these things, why don't we also talk about if you get pregnant, right, if you get pregnant, these are the things that are going to happen to your body, and there's a possibility you might have a miscarriage. And this is what a miscarriage is, and this is what it feels like in this Why

don't we have that conversation? Why is there so much ignorance in the Latino community when it comes to this. Well, look, I think it's up to people like you and me to change the dialogue and also let other women know that it's okay to talk about it. I was also taught you know not and it comes from a loving place.

I think it's for our own protection, you know. I think our mothers and grandmothers and thea's they were thought to keep it under wraps because maybe it's something that would charnish an image or you know, I'm not sure what they were trying to protect. UM, But I've always been vocal about my life. I've never felt the need to not say something, you know, whether it's chicken pocks

or infertility. You know what I'm saying because I want to hear stories and experiences from other people because that will help me with my journey. And so you know, UM, women that have been blessed with having children and being very fertile may not necessarily understand the struggle and the pain and the suffering and the and the everything that

we've been talking about. So how do you feel, And I know this is very sensitive, but how do you feel about these laws that are that they're making for women? You know, those that are pro choice, pro life? Um, how do you feel about these laws? Should we have these laws? What what should be done? It shouldn't be done? What is your perspective on it? Okay, I'm angry, I'm angry. It angers me when there are lawmakers out there who think that they're in charge of our motherfucking body. These

are our bodies, Okay. Now, for example, when I was going through the genetic abnormality, and I'm and I'm trying to understand what could happen through this pregnancy. The baby could make it, the baby could be stillborn, the baby could not develop um an ventricle of her heart and require open heart surgery upon birth. These are all the

things that like, we have to educate ourselves now. If I didn't have the choice to terminate that pregnancy, I could have ended on any of those roads with a stillborn, losing it in the later on in the term, like third trimester, second trium, but also putting your life in jeopardy, because that's another thing. A lot of times when they talk about these laws, they talk about the babies and this and that, the feat is all these other things. But we must understand that a pregnancy is not just

as light as people think. You know, you're putting your whole life on the on the line, like even you're giving birth to a child that may come with some type of difficulties and issues. There's so many women these days and these days that have died in those beds giving birth to their children, which obviously they shouldn't have to. But that being we have to think about, you know, the women behind these children. It's not just about the feat is or the child is also about the mother.

A lot of these pregnancies can be very risky. And for example, my mother, my mother died for like a minute or two and they literally had to bring her back to life while she was giving birth to me. So, you know, not a lot of women get to make it back. And I do definitely agree that no one should be making law, like legal laws for women's body. Nonetheless men because bio so you guys don't have the rights to say what should happen and what shouldn't happen

with women's life. And a lot of times were not put a hand bloke. I am in the Dominican Republic right now from one of my airbnbs, and it's illegal to you know, have abortions. So what do you see? Very often you see women giving birth to babies, wrapping them up in garbage bags and just literally throwing them in the garbage bag, throwing them in on gamples Somewhere, you find people of Besino finding them, finding babies and baby like in bags. You see a whole bunch of

babies out in the streets. Babies have little kids three or four years old out in the street begging for money. They hung out on. Now they just abandoned them. So is this a better option because we know that while they're trying to somewhat fix an issue, they're also creating another one. Yeah, I just think we have to talk more. We have social media now, we have our own platforms. Doesn't matter how many followers you have. Everybody can make a difference in their own world, in their own right.

You know. I'm trying to move the needle right now. Aside from show business, I'm doing some work with the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists, better known as a COG. They also have a ton of resources on their website. If your listeners want to find out more UM, go

to a COG dot org. I'm working UM with them to develop a perinatal anxiety toolkit for medical professionals and also for common Jose and jas like us because like to your points, there is a miseducation in some cases, no education at all about the things that affect us around pregnancy, not only pregnancy, perinatal anxiety, postpartum, okay, depression. There's so much research coming out of this report and

study that it's mind blowing. Uh. You know, there are ways, there are early signs that our gynecologists and obstetricians can pinpoint to tell us whether or not we're more susceptible of perinatal anxiety and depression. You know, and this is even pre pregnancy, Like, these are the things that our doctors need to be equipped with. This is the information that we women need to be equipped and armed with because as women as Guerreras, nobody's gonna do it for us.

They're just gonna tell us, don't talk about it, keep it to yourself, and we have to do the contrario. Get on your socials, join the organizations, you know, talk about the rights that we deserve, to your friends, your network, on podcast like don kra But it's our job to talk about it and to elevate the conversation. Meda I I am so grateful to have you today because this information is really gonna help a lot of women. A lot of women out here feel like they're by themselves.

They don't know what to do. I've had so many people d m me through my Instagram account telling me about their miscarriages, and you know how tough has been for them to conceive. Um, I myself feel very blessed. Like I said before, I never thought I never saw myself as a single mother going through this process by myself. I'm trying to figure out what's happening with my body.

My breasts are getting bigger, my nipples are getting bigger, you know, my stomach, I'm getting ligaments, you know, stretching, and my uterism and I'm like, mom, what is it? Does it? Because I have to you know, I have on one side, I feel the kicking and the pushing, and I feel on the other side, and it's just a lot going on in my body right now. It's my first time. If this is me now, I can't imagine once my tummy gets bigger, and I can't even imagine how it would have been if I hadn't lost

my third baby. UM, I feel blessed. I feel honored. I am grateful that I at least have my mother to be in this process, in this journey with me, which a lot of women don't have. Have anybody to guide them. And I'm so grateful for women like yourself that are being open and you're sharing your story and you're empowering other women as well, and you're using your platform. You're using every single tool that you can to help

other women. I want them to know where they can follow you, where they where can they get more information that they want to get in contact with you? Definitely, And I also respond to all the d m s. People reach out to me about my weight loss and how I did that and my story of infertility, and I'm an open book. You can reach me at Rachel La Loca or a c h E L La Loca and my podcast is Latinos Out Loud. We're on all the platforms and Matta was a guest on the podcast

check out that episode. Thank you so much for having me. Of course, thank you so much for coming through and sharing your story and your experience and your experiences. Um I, I definitely am more proud of you now that I know your story and how strong of a woman you are and throw us you are amazing and we need more women like you. They're willing to be open and share their stories. Um Guys, don't forget to rate us and share this podcast with every single person that you know.

If you know someone that is going through infertility or is going through I V efforts, going through whatever in vitro, that is going through whatever process right now, please share this podcast with them because this has been very informative, educational. This has been an important conversation UM and we need to share it. This is the only way that we can get better is if we share. So make sure to share this podcast with everybody that you know. Remember

to rate us five stars. We talk a little bit about everything, but then we also hate them important topics as well. This has been a production of I Hearts Radio Michael podcast Network, and for more podcasts from my Heart, visit the I Heart Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you listen to your favorite podcast. This has been your girl for coming through today, and I'm so grateful for you.

I wish you nothing but the best blessing to your babies, UM, their miracle babies, your rainbow babies, your husband for being a support system to to you, because we need more men like that that are gonna stand up and are really going to support their women through this journey, through this process. I hope that you continue to help more women like myself, and thank you so much for joining in me hinta, you already know we're here. Every Thursday Michael Podcast Network on exactly Amada