Welcome, guys, Welcome to the show.
I am your girl, Amada Laegra, and you're listening to Exactly Amada, a production of iHeart.
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Head over to the YouTube channel, where you will also be able to watch or listen to the podcast by searching for micro through that podcast and right there just clicking on Exactly Amada. If I sound crazy is because I have been working like a psycho. I have been working crazy. I have a lot of jobs and honestly,
yogo gazotamm biene. From coming from an immigrant households where you're you know you're expected to be great, from not wanting to go back, from trying to break generational curses, from all those things, I really push myself so hard to be as great as I can be, to the point that my voice has gone so much. Going on love and hip hop les Indo mabilis last Indo mavelis is another reality show I just did recently, super cool, guys,
go check it out. Then, on top of that, I also just launch my cosmetic line Eternal Beauty by Amada, which you guys also have to go check that out on Instagram Eternal Beauty by Amada or Eternal Beauty Biamuna dot com my new cosmetic line. I'm working on my girl's clothing line, Lasworld Twins dot com. I am working on their children's product. I am working on so many things, gay Honestly, I don't know how I do it myself.
And in the process of this now, I'm also trying to buy me a gas station or I don't know, a residential building. Always thinking about generation of wealth, always thinking about, you know, investing my money.
We talk about this all the time.
But I just wanted to start up a little motivation or let you know, put in the work, work as hard as you can, work till you're so exhausted that you got to force yourself to get up, pushed through.
Your body will only have so much time that it is going to be willing to do that. So that being said, let's really get down to today's topic.
Once a cheater, always a cheater. Do you forgive a cheater? Can you retrust a cheater? And cheating comes in many many forms. It could be cheating as as a friendship or obviously, as we mainly know, cheating in a relationship. Once a cheater, can you forgive a cheating you know, spouse partner?
Can you trust them again? How do you move on? Personally?
Let me start here, I have been cheated on. I wouldn't say that I have cheated and I know that. No, it depends what you consider cheating. If texting is cheating, I've definitely cheated. If flirting with other people is cheating, I've definitely flirted. But to me, everything is cheating. Obviously, once you start the emotional connection, you're definitely cheating. But the sexual part, to me, that's like the biggest cheat, right when you're physically exchanging you know, fluids, and you're
like you're physically there. Oh, that's you're cheating, cheating, Like, we can't come back from that.
It's terrible.
If we're texting someone, but if you haven't met them, that's bad because you're entertaining them. You're using that mental space to entertain and that's really how relationships start. Once you get into the emotional part because in many occasions, you can have sex with someone, right, So I've heard from men you can have sex with them and still love your girl and it don't mean nothing.
You're just having a moment. You had sex, Boom done, that's over.
But in my case, I feel like if you have sex as a woman, for many of us, it becomes an emotional thing, right, It becomes an emotional an emotional experience. But then again, I don't know when you get to see it anymore, because these days, I feel like women are so empower where they just feel like, I just want to have sex.
I'm gonna have it. It doesn't mean anything.
I'm just, you know, is a body, I'm a desire and then that's it and it's over. But cheating is definitely a sensitive emotional subject that you know, can trigger feelings and be feelings of betrayal, of being heard, of being angry. How do we surpass that? Do we go to therapy? Do we talk it out? Do we take a break? Do you believe in taking breaks? You know, if someone cheats on you, you know, I just think that we need a break to self reflect and then we
come back. I don't know I don't believe in that. If we, if you, if any man ever comes to be, I need a break. That means you're not into me anymore, because I feel like, if you really want a relationship to work out, you gotta you gotta tug it out, you gotta stick it through, you gotta you gotta be in that space, whether we're not talking, but we're here
together because we're trying to figure it out. The moment you give space, space gives opportunity, opportunity for somebody else to come, opportunity for them to realize the true self.
Worth and be like, you know what, screw this. I'm not gonna forgive you. I'm just gonna, you know, move on.
And I will say, there's no perfect relationship. There is no perfect relationship. Even if you think all.
This person cheating on me.
I'm not I'm saying forgive your cheating, you know, partner, I'm not saying that.
But think about this too.
If you already put in so much time and effort and all these things, is there a possibility that.
You can work things out?
You know, I'm not saying the cheating is a mistake, because it's not a mistake. It's a choice. You chose to entertain this person. You chose to physically be in this place.
You chose that. You know, nobody forced you. You decided to do that. However, there is no perfect relationship. There is no perfect relationship. It's tough out hearing these streets. And if you find someone that you are.
Really compatible, that you guys get along, that everything is great, but there was a cheating situation. Is there any possible way that you guys can work it out? Do you believe in talking to your mother, to your father, to your sisters, to your brother, to a family member about your personal relationship?
Do you think that's helpful?
You know, if you have maybe like somebody in the family who's been married for like thirty forty years, right, should you go to them and ask for advice? I would say most definitely, but hopefully not someone in your family. I think that getting advice from someone who's been through it already is super important. I think that it's the best way to go, not to be out here talking
to your single friends. I'm not saying that your single friends can't give you good advice, right, but you single, you ain't got nobody, you haven't figured it out yourself. For those that have been married and through the good, through the bad, through the thin, they've been rocking together solid. Whether you sleep in the couch, I sleep in the band. So we can figure this out. I think it's important to get advice from people that are there in that space, right.
I also think it's important not to give up that quickly on you know, don't give up so quickly on your relationship because of cheating. I know it's gonna sound crazy, y'all is gonna come for me. I'm not saying forgive your cheating partner. And it also, I guess it doesn't matter how much you've been cheating, does it, ladies? Because I feel like women forgive quicker than men do.
Why is that? Is it because we're more accustomed to being, you know, forgiving? I don't know. I feel that men.
Can't take the pain that they bring to women when they cheat. When a woman cheats on a man, he can go through a depression. All types of things is gonna happen. A woman is gonna cry, She's gonna probably feel insecure herself. She's gonna but deep down inside because she loves this person or cares about this person, she's gonna try to figure out a way to make things work. She's gonna try to figure out a way to push through.
But that also has its limits. How much cheating, how much betrayal, how much disrespect, how much all of that hurts anger can you really take before you decide to just leave? In many occasions, I know that there's women that have stayed because of their kids, you know, because of their family. In many occasions, you know women and also man, I know men that been like you know what gentlemen whip put me seahos I do only because of my children. I want to see them grow. I
want to be part of their life. I am so in love with my children that I am putting up with this situation with this woman right just so that I can be in this space. I'm trying to do the best that I can, but that can be very tough too. For example, I personally, I did the best that I could to stretch out my relationship with the father of my children because I really wanted to. I really wanted to have a family. I wanted to figure out how to bring this together. What can I do?
In many occasions, you blame yourself for other people's behaviors you feel as a failure.
You blame yourself because someone else.
Chose to betray you or chose to and you feel like it's your fault. I must have done something. No, I feel that we're all adults, we're all grown. Whoever decides to cheat, whoever decides to betray, whoever decides to not complete their part of the agreement in the relationship, it is not your fault.
You shouldn't feel guilty about it. You shouldn't feel bad about it.
You shouldn't question your body, you shouldn't question your personality. You shouldn't question none of those things. I think that communication is key, right, and that's part of rebuilding a relationship after after someone has cheated.
How do you rebuild, you know?
I think that having conversations, going back out on dates, all those type of things, going to therapy, going to church, if you have to go see your local pastor be like, look, we love each other, but right now the energy has shifted.
We can't, you know, we can't trust each other anymore. How do we fix this?
Sometimes the biggest thing, sometimes though it is always the biggest foundation of a solid relationship is God, you know, being able to ask God to give you the strength that you need to forgive some that you really love because they have betrayed you, you know, because they have done you dirty, but you still want to make things work.
I think that maybe going to church should be like the number one thing, going to see a pastor, you know, in prayer together in your bed before you go to sleep, both holding hands and praying to God to you know, give you strength to push through. Because I also have to say, these days, through social media, through dating apps, through everything else, cheating has become even more accessible. Yes, aren't there back in the days they were Chico Lavecina
e lechiro. You know, you would chieve with your local people in your neighborhood, and I get those things right. But social media and the Internet now has exposed a whole different type of world now that in many occasions you may not even try to you may not even be trying to look for it, and it just comes to you. I'm talking about social media now has become a catalog for people looking to have either just sex or being into the relationship or you know, I have
my man, but I want to cheat. I want to have a fling. I want to have an open relationship. I want to have a good time. You know. Now social media has become a catalog, so it's become very much more difficult to have a solid relationship. So hi forgiveness, forgiving your cheating partner. Have you ever been through it? By the way, hit me up on the comments. Have you been able to forgive them one hundred percent? Or
do you think that? You say, yeah, I forgive you, But every so often they're still in the back of your mind.
You can look at them and be like, are you cheating on me? Now?
Who are you on the phone with? You're in the bathroom, wait too long? Why did you take your phone into the bathroom? Why did you turn around your phone? Do you think that makes you toxic? Do you think that after you've been cheated on? Those are the reasons why there's a lot of women that are toxic, those women that have been hurt and betrayed in the past. And now you started a new relationship with this woman that's been slightly damaged by her past experiences.
Do you think that affects the new relationship.
If you start a relationship with someone that's been hurt in the past, whether cheating you know, boyfriend or girlfriend.
How do you help them heal?
I think that that's very important these days. I think the healing is a very important part of it all. We're getting into relationships with people that have been hurt, with people that have been damaged, with people that are bringing.
Their own baggage.
And if we're not willing to understand what their experiences have been, what they've been through, how were we supposed to have a solid relationship with someone you have to push through. Don't do anything that's gonna make your significant other feel like you are being unfaithful. For example, if your a girl doesn't like you liking other females pictures on social media, don't do it. Look at it if
you want, but don't do it. You know why, because it's gonna be that one like that one like to you gonna have been like, Oh, I just think that she's pretty. I think that she's sexy. I think that whatever the hell, but that one like in this other person's mind could be like a whole world of you may be cheating. If you were willing to like her publicly, you might be talking to her on DM. What about if you flew her in? What about if you already
met her, that's too much. And feeling insecure these days is not just for women. Men go through it too. There's a lot of men now on social media as well. Your girl's DM is loaded of men that are waiting for you to fuck up for two seconds to take
your place, do you know? And I also think it's important for women if you're in a real relationship and men don't entertain it, don't entertain it because even saying hi, thank you, oh my god, yes you said I'm beautiful, even the smallest little things like that can destroy a good, solid relationship with someone that actually has a real foundation.
I'm just saying. And something else I want to know. I don't know.
Ladies, help me figure this out. Do you really believe that once a cheatter, always a cheater. Do you think that once they cheat one time, they repeat the same patterns. Can you forgive them and be like, okay, you know what you do know me, once you said you were sorry, you're not even do it again.
Do you think that people can.
Actually just make mistakes of like, oh, you know, I was going through a vulnerable moment and I just cheated on my girl, or I just cheated on my man, but I really love my man. Can you cheat and still love your partner, meaning like I just went and had sex, I just want to entertain this person because I was bored, because I was emotionally not fulfilled or whatever, and still realistically love your partner.
Can you I don't know. I'm trying to figure it out.
You guys tell me, because I am the type of woman personally, don't know. Personal I am the type of woman that if I push and push and push and push before I go ahead and cheat, I will try to the end of me. That's something very common in women.
When a woman.
Cheats, usually she's already tired, she's over it, she's already tried to fix her relationship for a long time. Men, in the other hand, can have sex or cheat and still come back home like nothing happened, Like this is my girl. You were just a fling or you were just the moment, right. I I can't if I cheat, I don't. I can't cheat. That's too much pressure.
That's another thing.
The pressure of cheating is a lot you gotta be worried about. They get Let me turn my phone or around, let me put my phone on silent. What about if you call me? What about if you text me? What about if you FaceTime me and my girl picks up the phone, my or my guy is like, Yo, who's this? You gotta be deleting conversations. You gotta be You got that, listen. That is a lot of work. Mentally, is very stressful. I know that maybe in the beginning it will be
fun and you got it. But once you know, some time passes, emotions are gonna get involved. You know something is gonna happen, or you're gonna feel like, oh no, this is this is too much.
So I'm not a good cheater. It doesn't work for me.
You know.
Usually whenever, even if I start one.
Relationship right back to back to the other, I've already finished one. And by the time I finish that one, we've already been been done while being together. That means that either we're not even having sex anymore, but we're supposedly still together.
You know, because I've heard that too.
Oh if you cheat and then you start a relationship like the next day or the next week, oh, you're already cheating. No, not necessarily, because we see people that get divorced and like a month later, they're already engaged to someone else. The way that love is set up or new relationships, there's no guide book. There's no rule book on how to find love, on how to be in a relationship.
You know, you never know when things are going to happen.
I'm just saying, you know, you have to live your life and live for you, because if you live based off people's opinions, you're never going to be happy. Rebuilding trust is the most challenging process of it all.
You know, being able.
To to just trust that person. How do you move past that? How do you trust again after someone has cheated on you? Is it possible? I believe it is. With a lot of work and effort, I believe it's possible. I also do believe that in the back of their minds, once you cheat and you have I've been able to forgive them for it. There's a part of me that feels like, oh, they think you soft because they know that you really love them. So it's like, yeah, you
forgave me, but I'm still gonna do it again. Now this time I'm going trying to do a better sound and get caught or she just leaves and me like you know what, you betrayed me, You're disrespectful, you cheated on me.
I trusted you and is over.
But then the next person that you get, what does that guarantee you that they're not.
Gonna cheat on you?
I had a friend that recently just filed for divorce because her man cheated on her.
It wasn't one cheat. If you cheated like multiple, multiple, multiple.
Different type of women in a course of like fifteen years.
That you've been married, is that for should you forgive?
And that's another thing I'd be asking because I wonder, like I've always wanted to get married, that that was my dream since that was a little girl, my white dress, blah blah blah blahh and they great, fantastic. These days, the concept of love, relationship, commitments, all those things have changed.
We have so many people now that are in open relationships because they don't want to feel like they're being cheated on, because they don't want to feel as if, okay, you know, I don't know, now I got to forgive you for cheating on me. Meanwhile, if we're both in a com you know, in an understanding that we're in an open relationship, you get to do your thing, I do my thing too, and we're so cool.
Man. That's a tough one right there.
I can never be in an open relationship because I am very panicky about STDSG. You know, that's just me. I feel like a lot of people are not thinking about all those things too. Cheating is not just the fact that of betrayal. It also comes with the physical aspect. You know. I know a lot of beautiful women who have been burnt and they don't say anything because I even told them, did you tell this person that you know that you're They're like, no, they didn't ask me,
so I don't got to say. I don't gotta tell. And that's a terrible mindset. But we find a lot of men that will go out and about to have a good time. Right you selfishly decided to make a decision of enjoying your body, enjoying yourself while having a partner. Now you go home, you have sex with your partner, and now you burn your partner as well.
All these things can really really like you really got to think it through these days.
Imagine just going out to have a good time and starting to feel weird a week later, going to the doctor and finding out you have an STD, you know, gone.
Rhea, syphilis, herpes, HIV.
Like, there's so many things to protect yourself, and that doesn't just come from you know. I'm not saying to be panicky and have when it comes to it, because I guess that's maybe one of the reasons why I'm also panicky sexually, and I have been practicing celibacy til I find someone that I'm like, you're for me, and I'm for you, and we're here.
Let's dug it out. Cool. If you feel like you need.
To be sexually satisfied with multiple women or multiple men out here in these streets, then you need to be out here in these streets because I'm trying to be inside the house. I'm not trying to be part of that, but I think that is important to all. So think about that, you know, And the same thing goes for women. You could have gone outside to have a good time and just you know, oh, this guy was really cute, and then a month.
Later you come, you know, pregnant or whatever.
So I'm just saying, let's think about let's think about the whole picture when it comes to cheating, when it comes to forgiving the person that you're with you you can lose a really good relationship because of cheating. You can lose your trust, you can lose their friendship, you can lose everything you've ever built with someone because of a couple of minutes of having fun, of having a
good time. You can physically be damaged. You know, you can physically go through a terrible situation because of just having a good time for a little bit. I think if you want to be if you want to be single and you want to have fun, you go ahead and you do that, but don't be in a committed relationship with someone who is supposedly trying to be faithful to you and you go and you do them dirty behind their back.
You know, it.
Affects the trust, It affects your self esteem, It affects the way that they view themselves, that they view relationships. It affects your sexual experience with this person, because now every time you have sex in the back of your mind, you're thinking about this person.
That they cheated on.
You know, you question that whoever it is that they cheated on, was there sex better?
You know, why did you go so many times to the same person?
What were you looking for that I'm not providing for you where you're looking for comfort, where you're looking for a different type of sexual experience, which happens in many occasions. You know, if you like bondage, if you like a certain type of sexual experience that your partner is not giving you at home, You're gonna go find it somewhere else.
If you have someone that likes to be very conservative sexually, for example, because sex is a very important part of a relationship and is one of the reasons why people cheat for the most part. But if you are with someone that's very conservative and you like to have you know, wild sexy fun, you know, sex, and this person is not providing that. Are they not providing it because you don't want to tell them? Are they not providing it
because you feel embarrassed? I think it is important to have the those conversations.
Listen. I don't want to cheat on you. I don't.
I but but there's things that I'm into, there's things I want to experience, there's things I want to experience. And before I go out of my way to do it with somebody else and do it the wrong way, I'd rather do it with you. All those things are important to me, I don't know if you understand where I'm coming from.
If you agree, let me know because I want to know your opinion.
There's so many things that we could talk about when it comes to forgiving, you know, forgiving a cheating spouse, for getting a cheating boyfriend girlfriend, There's so many layers into it.
Do you forgive? Do you not forgive? How do you move on? You know?
Do we go to therapy, do we have an open relationship, do we try different sexual experiences?
Do we talk to our family? To I done? Though?
There's so many layers to this is so complex that I want to know your opinion.
Oh cheater, cheater, pumpkin eater. Mmm, I don't know. I'm trying to figure it out just like y'all.
But anyways, with that being said, that brings us to the end of today's episode. God, I really want to know your opinion. Have you ever forgiven someone this cheated on you? Did it work out? Is it worth even forgiving them because you.
Just let it go? I'm not show bar.
Anyways, listen to the end of today's episode on Exactly Amada, and I just want to thank you guys for joining us and being part of this meaningful conversation. Don't forget to subscribe to the podcast and leave a review and share with your friends and family and everybody that you love and cheat me, baby, and cheat me. If you know somebody that's going through it, be like, yo, listen to this podcast because you need to hear this immediately.
Okay.
If you have any topic, suggestions or personal stories that you'd like to share, feel free to reach out to me on social media. You could just hit me up at exactly Amada. You can hit me up on ama aled which is my personal instagram, which, by the way, go follow me at Amada ama aln and.
Just sell me listen. I'm going through this.
I want to continue to cater to my audience. You know this show really I did it with so much love for you guys and is for you.
So if there's anything you want, let me know because I'm down for whatever.
Catch my show by searching for micro through that podcast on YouTube and clicking on exactly Amata. Okay, that's all you gotta do so you can watch or listen to past episodes super Lit. There's a couple that I've personally gone back to to listen because I'm like.
Oh, this was some really good information.
And just in case you forgot, this has been a production of ihearts Micro through that podcast network. Four more podcasts from iHeart, Visit the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite show. This has been your girl. Amada la Negra Cheeter Cheeter fromping Eater