Moving in with Your Significant Other

Who pays the bills? Who doesn't pay the bills? Who? Man? Who do you like buying new furniture, leaving the furniture? Do you move into her house or do you move into his house? Like? Who splits? What? All those details that that's what we want to know today. Stevie. First of all, Stevie my amazing co host. Okay, I love him so much because he always keeps it real and he says exactly on his mind. And I now he's lived in the past through some of this bullshit, so

very great. Thank you for asking. I do put the exactly in Exactly a Mada. Now what do you do before marriage? Um? So I have a very interesting story that we will get into definitely. Um, I was taught that you shouldn't live together before marriage, but I do find that there are some roads when it comes to that, because like when you find out that he definitely doesn't put the seat down in the toilet, Um, he definitely does his underwear everywhere, or she leaves her banties everywhere

or absolutely so there is a lot. I did you know I am married? For those that don't know, surprise, surprise, I am married. And before marriage, um I was. We met in church, so it's interesting we couldn't shock and live together before marriage and we kind of sacrifice that shocking. One would say it was because I wasn't attracted to a woman. That's why it was easy for me. That's so Um, it's absolutely positive. It was a great thing for me. I got blessed when I got married. But

we will get more into that topic. Let's go right. We always some interesting topics and look, I'm not even telling you too much, but I'm gonna give a little teaser and then I'm gonna break it down because I've been there. Like part of the conversations that we want to know today is who moves in first? Do you move into his house. Do you move into her house? How does this work? All I'm gonna say is, ladies, listen to me and let me be your friend and

let me give you a tip. Okay, if you like a guy and you know you guys are thinking of moving forward in your relationship or whatever, unless he tells you, baby, I want you to move in with me. Stop being that girl that takes a little lugge and the headica. You left the truth brush and the headicake, and you left a pair of you without him asking you to do that because or pampang, get the funk up out

of my house. And don't say where you're gonna be stuck, and don't say, as a lady, been there, done that nobody. If you guys, if you want to move in, we can buy something together. We can rent a department a K. I personally am not in renting spaces anymore. We're gonna buy, We're gonna save, and we're gonna buy, even if it's a little tiny as department any We're gonna buy something together and we're gonna moving together. But also think don't need to get my little log into my little mille.

I think we're not doing that you move in with me. Anyways, let's get to it. So one of those some of the size that your significant other is taking over your living space, Buena, I think it starts with um when you don't take your ass home. I know, listen, I know that if you like some and you may want to sleep over, that's cool. But I think it has to be a mutual agreement. It has to be a like, oh, baby, you know that. Listen. If you want, if you want,

you can have if you want. If you want, I can stay over tonight, you know, or if you want, baby, you can stay over, you know, at my place. And if you want, don't be staying over your man's house unless he asked you to, because out of courtesy, he's gonna tell you to stay, but he may not even want you to stay. And I think that that's how it starts. The invasion of privacy. Uh the I'm just gonna leave one luggage here, I'm just liveing Burtko here.

Next thing, you know, you moved in your whole apartment, your whole house, your whole closet into my house. I think that communication is key. Stevie, how soon is it too soon to start living and moving in with your significant other? How soon is it too soon to move in with your significant another? I don't know, Stevie. Whenn't you move in with your wife? No? Well absolutely, I do feel that in a lot of relationships, um, people become very attached and they want to move in so soon.

They're not even man married, they don't even know each other. I mean, I feel moving with each other can damage your relationship. If you move into soon too soon could damage your relationship because I didn't I don't know who you are and who I am at home is definitely different from who I am outside. Um, when I when I But you didn't say it. Okay, So you just said that you don't think you think the moving in too soon can damnage a relationship? Okay? Cool? So when

should you move in? I think you gotta get when you're married, when you're committed, or a little you move in when you're married. Well, let me let me just say, let me just say in a perfect world, but I do believe that maybe and you know, do you agree going to exactly a matta and definitely leave us comments

and d m us. I agree that maybe you should before you're married, get to know each other a little bit, and how you guys live together, because then if you're married and you didn't really know, how would be when you guys are together under the same roof, under one roof, then maybe I, you know, that's not the way Stevie did it, because I did say I was gonna tell you the story I didn't get I didn't get into a place with my wife until I got married. The

night of the wedding, that's beautiful. The night of the wedding is when we moved into our apartment. Thank you lord. It was good. I thought that was good. Everything was okay. But how how long were you guys dating? How long were you guys dating before you got married? We were three years? Okay, three years? So for three years she slept in her house and you stepped in your house,

and we want to married. You guys decided to moving right, we had just you know, and in our culture, we're kind of pressured to kind of get married at an early age, especially if you're religious whatever, Catonico, whatever you are. They try to push it on you. And um, you know that is better to marry than to burn, right, That's what you hear a lot of in the churches, and um, luckily we got to grow and love each other. Remember my situation at hand. I also didn't just a

love woman. I love men as well. So I'm so happy that my wife kind of turned into she man because, um, she kind of does some great things that we learned each other. You learn each other and you learn to love each other, and that takes time. So I do believe that if you do want to go into an apartment together a little bit prior to your wedding a mom for two before your wedding, that's a month before your wedding, there is no fucking wedding if we don't

move in together. I don't care what you're telling me. Let me tell you something. Here we go. I want to know if you leave the toilet seat up. I want to know if you know how to cook. I want to know if I'm sick, are you gonna hold me down? No thing? Okay, I'm in my house and urine no, no. I want to know all your bad habits. I want to know your temper. I want to know what I want to know that was a commercial break anyways, Let me tell you something. I want to know all

those details. And I think that there's two things. There's a magical feeling of waiting to marriage, to live with that significant other. One there is two. I think that once you get married to someone, you've officially committed to spending the rest of your life with this person, and we don't see that too once in these generations. I feel that people have this this stigma, this brainwash mentality, this Disney mindset that you know, when you get married,

it's supposed to be like, you know, happily. Ever after, no Mamo, You're gonna struggle, You're gonna cry, he's probably gonna cheat or she's gonna cheat. You're gonna feel insecure. Y'all's gonna fight, y'all's gonna love each other. You're gonna go through ups and down and you don't still have to hold each other down. That's how those long marriages used to work back in the days. These days, we

don't want to commit. We are stressed out, and the first thing we want to do we're getting a divorce. That's it is over. I'm gonna go on to in there, I'm gonna go on a dating apple, I'm gonna find somebody else. I'm gonna go on Instagram and no, you're supposed to stay. We're gonna fight. We decided, out of the seven billion human beings on this planet, you and I are gonna thug this out together. So we don't see that anymore. And those says I would say, I

want to live with you first. I want to know all your bad habits. I want to know because we're not gonna say and you over here. And everything changes once you, guys moving together, that's really when you start to get to know who you're with, Like the living situation. So if we can't get along living together, how are we gonna get married? And those of the kid later and we're gonna get well, it's possible. That's how they used to do it back in the days. I don't

know if between one thing and the other. These topics could go on and on and by the way, guys, let us know how you feel about all these topics that we're talking about today on exactly a mad on Instagram and Twitter. Let me know, have you ever been struggling or going through a situation like this? Here's another one. Do you meet the family before moving in with someone with that person or or like, how does this work the family, because let me tell you, families can ruin relationships.

And honestly, I think God that I got along with my father in law. But the day that I said I do, it kind of change things up with us, you know. But it becomes real. It becomes real. So you don't want to go into a marriage without knowing who the family or what you're getting into. That's why it is very important that you know. Even the old saying of going to be the lilamano, you know, it's very important. If you're a man, people don't do that anymore.

If you're a man, you should. I always say keeping class. You've got to show some type of class because one, you know, impression is everything. And if you you know, if you're looking like you're well put together, the family is gonna love you. The family is going to accept you. But if you're coming in like yeo, yeah yo, I want your daughter? Whatou dope? Like that? You know, I understand, And it's very true. And the family doesn't work with you,

and the family doesn't buy with you. It depends the family relationship, but it will it will, you know, destroy the relationship a little bit. For example, my mom is one of those and I'm open about it and I've

been honest my mom. I don't want to say she's destroyed, but my mom has definitely been a big factor of a lot of my relationships that haven't worked out because she's going to make sure every day to be like you see, I told you he's trash and even if your mind is not there, they start to kind of brainwash you. So I would definitely say, um, definitely meet the family. Try to have the best relationship you can

have with the family. At the end of the day, you also need to understand you guys chose to be with each other. Yes, the family is part of that significant other, but you guys have to make your own destiny. Do we live for a family or do we live for each other? This is a very interesting topic because it's a red flag when a man is not trying to meet your family. You know, it's a red flag,

and that could become a domestic later down the road. Absolutely, because why wouldn't you want to be a part I would love to be a part of my significant others families. See how their mother are, their father are that's you know, and really, like you said, it depends on the dynamic

of the family. But really vibing out is very important when you bring a man to your family, make sure that he he kind of fits in a little bit, you know, and it or that he's trying at least, because that shows, that shows within a couple of minutes. So I honestly believe to help you out a little bit, I believe that you should have someone that could vibe,

because it would be nice family parties. They vibe I mean in the Dominican culture and Puerto Rican culture and you know, I know they you know that dances with the mother and nice. I know, it's so beautiful to see, you know, your boyfriend, your girlfriend like taking out your mother in law, your father in law to dance, come out, listen and there's a connection. So find what you can bring to the table to the family as well, and you know, and most importantly loved. I think that's very

important that would help you in a relationship. You have to remember me that things have If you feel that you have it hard these days, listen, people back in the days had to give a cow and achieved and sacrifice. I say it, you have it easy. But I'm gonna say one last thing, before I moved to the next the next topic that ever you want to hear, because I have ad like this is a very interesting conversation to me, but an older guy was gonna say, is

going back to the family. Also, make sure that's been my mistake number a thousand, because my mom is my best friend and my circle is so small, and I barely talked to anybody, honestly, Yes, shout out to mommy Anna. Um, whenever you have any inconvenience problems, whatever issues you may have with your significant other, don't go sharing it to your sister, straight to your brother, to your cousin, to

your mama, to your daddy. Yes that you should. Don't be that social media bitch that every time you have an issue with your man or you guys quote and they're gonna start de leading pictures. And now everybody knows because I didn't say nothing. Yeah, you didn't have to. You posted a whole bunch of quotes you deleted on my pictures, and now everybody knows that you and I are going through it, so that to three days later

we're back together. So going back to the family, if you share a lot of your personal issues with your closest family members don't feel upset it. Later on they started to look at your significant other with an attitude or have an issue because that has to be between y'all, Like stop sharing that ship if you if you share that then you can be upset. And later on your family doesn't want to accept that person because it could have been the smallest little thing you were piste off.

You turn it into a big deal. Now your whole family doesn't want to know about him or her, And now you guys love each other, want to be with each other. So anyways, we will be right back with more of exactly a mata. And we're back with more of exactly a matta. No, that is a great that's a great time. That is a great point because and the little thing and then your mom is like you already put a bad taste in her mouth. And speaking of once you move in, how do you decide who

pays what bills? I? I can you pay my bills? Can you pay him a telephone bill? Um? Who pays the bills? Meta? Back in the days, man used to pay the bills. We used to take care of the children. Make sure that that the dinner is on the table, and the total is good every night. However, things have changed. Women were independent, were all equality, la la what or whatever? Now we both work. A lot of women make more money than men. A lot of men make more well, yeah,

they've always made more money than women. But anyways, the point is that, um, I think that you need to have a conversation and I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say why. Usually the answer would be men have to pay and we pay less. Battom. I do understand how these days there's a lot of women that are financially more stable than men. And I don't think that you should just marry for money. That's just me because I've known a

lot of women that have married rich men. And rich men comes along, pandemic, comes, an accident, comes, health issue, comes, anything can come. The money has gone. What happens now, so that you really love this person and you were willing to rock with them for for a long time or forever, or you were just there for the money, and then you put in jeopardy your children's your your children's stability. I hope your own mental health is just

too much. I feel that if you're with someone and you make more money than they do whoever it may be, whether it's her or him, you both need to sit down and have a discussion. Met that baby, I make danto, You make danto. The rent, that this, that, this, that comes out to dollars a month like my bills, damn um. And I'll do it all by myself. It comes to dollars. And don't say because I make more, I'm gonna pay

by man. See I'm gonna paid twelve. Now you gotta figure out the other part, you know what I'm saying. I feel like you can. You can talk it out and figure out a way that you both are kind of you know, even if you're looking for a partner. Now, if you're looking for a sugar mom or sugar that into you don't pay nothing. You know you don't, you

don't do nothing. I don't think that's fair. If your look, if you're in love, if you're looking to build with someone and you really funk with them and really rocking with them, I don't think it should all be one sided. I I personally don't beat old Babby if you want to pay all my bills and yeah you're not not don't get that key. Yeah, I haven't even leave it. Let it be what it is. I'm not gonna be mad.

If you want to pay it, I'm not gonna You'll start buying and replay seeing furniture to better your living conditions. What it depends who's moving. It depends who's moving into whose house, or who's moving into what You know what I'm saying. If your furniture looks a little raggedy, boy, the heyn blow and we want together And your spot looks a little raggedy, and I know I could hook it up a little bit. We'll modify some things now.

If we are really committed, committed to being together, I wanta tell you something that I would definitely want to do. And it's gonna sound little crunchy. Don't judge me. We're gonna change his damn mattress. Mete out. Anyways, Here goes another good question. Here goes another another good question. How does the how does the other person having children affect the process of like having a sleepover or if you

guys want to move in together, whatever? If that person already has kids better and you you guys want to move in together, how does that work? I for you? You know the bad them? First of all, I pound being married with my husband, and when we get married, that's it. Like there's no divorces. I don't care if you can't stand me. If I can't stand you, were gonna live in the same house in separate rooms, and

we're stuck with each other. However, if I already have to have already have children, my children need to like you first. I need to have a conversation with my children first, because I believe that you have to be a mother first and woman secondly. So first, if you're gonna bring a stranger into your home, we're gonna have a conversation. Listen, Mommy is in love with this person or meeting someone new, I would like for you to get to know them first. We're gonna hang out a

couple of times. Let me know the vibe, let me know what you like, what you don't like. How do you feel? Do you feel comfortable with you? Does he look at too funny, especially if you have little girls or little boys? Does he look at you funny? Does he make you feel you know? On look? I said, I talked to me. Let me know, and if so and my children agree, then yes, you can move into our household or whatever. But I would never put my children in a space where they're uncomfortable because I want

to you know, they can satisfy myself. No, don't. They are children. Okay, so I could just I want to play Devil's advocate for just one second, hold on, hold on holding, But not if you are a kid that is not even giving your mother's a new significant other a chance. See, there's some kids that don't even want to give them a chance. Now, if I see that

you're not that you're giving them a chance. Fine, if I see that you're not giving them a chance, then it's kind of wrong, especially if the guy is nice. But we definitely should stay here for a little bit because let me just say, I feel that when kids grow up and then they have their significant others, they kick their parents to the curve. So see now, and no happening this because you know that kids once they're thirteen fourteen, they want to lock themselves in the rooms.

They don't even want to hang out with their parents. So it's not fair that the parent doesn't get to live their life. Now, you make sure that you help raise this kid. You know, if if you don't like the baby mother, then maybe you can be a better stepmother. But I mean you don't like criticizing it. Let me say something that's very important too, before we continue with this topic, because I know y'all is loving this conversation, because y'all get relate, I know you can battle. Here's

something else too. Yes, kids can sometimes be a brat. Yes, you definitely have to listen to your kids when they tell you that they feel uncomfortable. Yes, you do. I do feel like you don't have to be forceful, and that's why some things take time. If you're ready to move in with your significant other and you have kids and your kids still don't feel comfortable, chill the hell out. Y'all is still working with each other. Y'all is still rocking,

so chill give your kids an opportunity. Like, first of all, they don't have their dad, or let's say, or they wish that they had their dad. You're sticking a complete stranger now that you are forcing them to accept because you accepted them given give them some time. You know, kids sometimes need to see I need to feel comfortable, So I think the time is a very important factor. And I also want to stay for for you know, for a period in my life. My stepfather was my father,

you know, That's who I saw as my father. To this day, I call my I call my father by his name. There's a lot of there's a lot of stepfathers and a lot of stepmothers that are better parents than the actual parents. Like, there's a lot of parents out there that they may not biologically be yours, but are better parents and anybody. So just give them an opportunity.

So I think that that's very important. And that's why, you know, from there, it's like, what are some of the boundaries that you're supposed to set once you start living together your father, father, you know what I mean? Besides the kids. Right, let's say that this person doesn't have any kids. You're single, you're single? Hand blow, I'm sitting. Well, I'm not going no more. Um, oh you're not, I'm not single no more. Well, congratulations on your relationships, very nice. Well, yes,

you're invited to the wedding. You're setting it up anyway. So let me tell you, Um, we don't live together, right, we don't live together at this moment, but the day that we just said to move in together, I definitely want to put in some boundaries because one thing is when you're accustomed to living by yourself, and another one is when you start living with someone else, you want them to feel comfortable, like, yes, feel comfortable, but I want to espress to you the things that I don't like.

I don't want you to do this. I don't want you to do that. And tell me as well, what are what do you think that my boundaries should be? Like what you know? I think that that's important so that you guys can feel comfortable with each other. And here it goes another important point. It's not the same when you've been from one relationship to the other, to

the other, to the other to the other. Then when you've been single for a very long time and you and you're older, or and you have accustomed yourself to a certain lifestyle and you like to live a certain type of way, a lot of people don't ever get comfortable again living with someone else. So I don't know, I just feel that boundaries are important. For example, some boundaries for me would be like, no, we're not doing that.

I'm not your mama, I'm not gonna be picking up all your dirty clothes from the floor pick it up. Or I'm just gonna let it stack up so you can't walk no more. Um boundaries is now, I don't know who you're inviting, because I can tell me who you're inviting. You know, you come to my house midday, you might just see how I came into this world. It's how I'm going to be looking because you know, and I said, we like to walk around a certain

way and do and whatnot. And you have to let me know who's coming over, who's our guests, not just you just walk up in this. And that's another thing. Those are boundaries right there. Let me know when your parents are coming over, because sometimes you gotta set that

school child battle boarding or boundaries. Because if you're just knocking and walking into my house because this is your daughter's house or your son's house, and you could just walk up in here and do whatever I want and then rearrange my furniture because you don't like how I

do it, go and clean the dishes. I mean, I don't mind the help, but please let me know because you know a lot of times and laws come in and they're like and it's like we're learning together, and if you want to teach me, come over my shoulder and teach me but sometimes even Michael management could get a little out of hand. But yes, after you know when you're coming, who's coming to visit? Thank you, I'll tell you. I'll tell you another quick one. Yes, definitely.

Who's coming over, whether's friends, family, no sleepovers. We're not doing sleepovers. I don't know. I'm not a fan of that. Um, you know, unless it's your parents. They came out of town or whatever. Cool, you can say one or two days. But if they can get you, you step over. They Oh, my friends struggling and I'm just gonna let them stay at the house for like a month. No, my friends, you guys to go. We're not doing that. That's no. Oh my god. Money wise, money, don't stick your hand

in my purse. Don't stick your hand in my purse. Oh, they gat I need a couple of dollars. I'm gonna Rea say, we don't do that. Don't stick your hand in purse. Don't borrow any money without me knowing. If we have an account together, which I'm going to go into that because that's an important question. If we decide to have a bank account together, don't withdraw any money without consulting it with me. If it's a joint account, which I actually want to ask you, you know, should

you have a joint account with your significant other? And if so, when do you do that? But anyways, don't take no money out without talking to me, because half of the money in there is mind as well. Don't think it. I'm gonna take it out and then I'm gonna put it back in. No, if I don't agree with that, we need to figure this out. I don't. I don't think that that's fair, you know. But anyways, with more of exactly a mata, yes, and we're back with exactly a vada. When do you have a joint account?

Should you have never done this? That is a great point. And upon moving in because of bills, you know, they are sometimes when you do become you do start a join account because you do start to set the payment schedules, which is you know, reasonable. But don't you dare grab anything from that arrangement because bills are priority. Like I'm gonna go buy some lubatons and then I'll put the

money back. Oh no, that is much dot org And I'm promoting, but honestly, I am just stating that there are boundaries and there should be boundaries, and there's definitely boundaries is everything because I'm telling you that people will come into your house and act as because they are a relative of a family member and act like they could come in say whatever they want. You have to

protect the piece in your house. Ladies and gentlemen, you just don't let anything into your house because what people do is they have a baggage, they drop their baggage, they dropped their stuff, and then they go on their all happy way. And now you have all types of spirits in your house and it's like, why are we arguing while because you're in laws came in and they were arguing, and now that spirit jumped on us. Now you have to set boundaries, say exactly, and honestly, it

is important. You need to know who's coming to your house. That's why I feel so honored when you invite me over to your house because I love it, because I feel like I'm a great for that. But honestly, you do have to set boundaries. And on the day that you get married on out of then you know, maybe me and g O won't just pop up at your house anymore. You know, we're probably we probably hurt, but we we got to get to know your significant other so that you know he could feel comfortable with us.

We gotta be very open to that as well. So that is a very great thing. And I am so happy that we spoke about boundaries because those should be set. But financial boundaries, though financial boundaries, like, Okay, I have never done it. I've never done a joint account with anybody because I'm very panicky. I always feel like, if we break up tomorrow, are you gonna take my money? What is going to happen? That I have trust issues.

I've been screwed over so many times in my life that you may not have any ill intentions, but I'm scary. So I know that you can't be like that because then you're never gonna be happy. But if we do a joint account, I'm afraid that I may deposit more money than you do and then we both have access to this and I'm gonna feel like damn. Which just shouldn't feel like that, because if this is your partner in life, you should be willing to give them everything

that you have. Well, I'm not sure, because oh my god, I'm not sure, but am talking about and I know that this is not one of our points. But I just thought about it, thinking about financial boundaries when you move in with someone, when you start a relationship with someone, or when you decide to get married, does that also go for prenups? Because you know that I'm doing a prenup, you have to I'm doing it. I love you, I love you, you love me. We're a happy family, Barney,

but you worked hard for your mother battle. I love you, but I feel that we need to do a prenup because God forbid anything goes wrong. You are not going to leave with half of everything I've worked for my whole life. We're not doing that. However, I know that there's certain clause you can add what they hay and blow. Um. Fine, we got married, you know we we have a prenup, and if we stayed together for over ten years, then you may have, let's say, of whatever the hell it

is or whatever you come up with something. That's why you attorneys are there. I think that's an important part about also financial boundaries with you when you're with someone. A lot of people fall in love me. No doctor dre like that. There's so many people that you fall in love with someone giving you the good though they're giving you the good daggling they and then you're like, because of love, we're gonna get married or love love is over? What happens? They sack you clean. I don't know.

I feel funky about that. What do you think about prenups? Did you get pup? I think I think that prenups are very important, And yes, and you should especially you have everything that Yes, everything that you have done in the past, you have to secure it because I putting up. No one should get offended by that, because honestly, I'm out of yourself. You're very amazing intelligent. You work your

assholef prior to this relationship. All of that is what you worked for, not for someone else to just come in and just say, hey, now, if we worked it together, if we've worked together, it's like, okay, Now everything I have before we got married is mind and my children's okay, everything that I have after we get married is still mine.

Unless we did it together, and we did it together, we both worked for it, we both went fifty, or we both decided that we want to share with you work for because working this can this can be funking. For example, Let's just say I'm gonna give you an example. I have a husband. My husband is a hard worker. I'm gonna stay at home wife. Just because he's out there making the negotiations doesn't mean that I'm not being a supportive wife. I'm the one more debating you, inspiring you.

I may be setting up certain things for you. I may be the one obviously keeping you stress free when you come home. All those things are still considered part of a partnership. I still feel that I deserve something, not all a bit, not half of it. Perhaps I deserve something for being there for you, for being your wife, or being at that moment. I don't know. I think that it can get tricky and it can also mess

up relationships. But I definitely do think that financial boundaries is something that you should think about when you decide to officially be committed in a relationship. That's why being evenly yoked is very important. Let's talk about that. If you come into a setting and now we're under one room, being evenly yoked. Now, being a different tax bracket is kind of hard to when it comes to that, because it's like now the person is entitled to what you

worked for. It's really hard. I mean listen, we would say finances is not everything, but you do not want to be in a relationship with a quote unquote broke person when you know you just don't want that because in the long run, that's gonna really bite you in the ass. So you never know, Stevie, you never know. Right now. You could be here right and let's say tomorrow out of nowhere or not out of nowhere. But your wife or something does this business deal whatever, and

now her money tripled. So it's like, yes, I know that you want to be in the same tax bracket with your significant other or be close by. But all it takes is one opportunity, one business idea, one business venture, one something, the lottery, anything for your significant other to have double, twice, triple the amount of income that you make. So what does that mean? You know what I'm saying, Like, it's an incredible point. That's why I feel me that

I get criticized all the time. You mean, oh my god, let's talk about mommy. Mommy is you know, I think parents always want their kids to get, you know, married, or be with someone who's financially stable. I'm a little crunchy because I have a NBA players hitting me up. I have politicians, I have rapper. If I were to show you all the people that slide up in my d M or the people that I've dated in my past on the low because I keep my personal life

really discreet. That's why you don't know anything about my personal life now, because I'm not doing it. It's just that I don't like to be in achieved me, like nobody needs to know what's happening with my toy. However, I personally like to find someone that has a lot of potential, there's ambitious that we get along, that were

good whatever, and that we can build together. I know that I'm not at the building stages because I'm already grown and I'm already stable, but I'd like to be able to build together because sometimes when you get people so leo hand, people start making plans with other people's money. Oh, I'm gonna marry this person because they got money. I'm gonna mary this girl because they got money. But that's

their money going you know, that's not your money. I know a lot of people that are rich and are stingy as hell, and their baby mama's over here asking for child support or whatever. The case may be, stop getting all hyped up on other people's income is not yours. You create your own absolutely because or find someone that wants to build with you, like all the time with Sugar, I'm financially here with you. We're here, we're like in

the same level, mahmo. But we want to grow together to build and we're gonna work and stop trying to just acy with someone who got it, like I'm just you know what I'm saying, he got it or she got it. I'm just gonna be here. And then when they don't want to be there no more, what happens to you all the time wasting and your energy and everything? I know right, absolutely I have to agree with that. You do want to make your own money and be

your own boss. I mean, I know a friends that you know got with men because they have money, but then they were very presents money. They never took that money and invested it. And then when the guy you know, that was it, that was the end of their story, you know. And that's why you have to live a purposeful life. Now, if we're gonna move together in the same room, we definitely need to know our boundaries. Now, who do you think, who do you think moves most

of their stuff? And I wanted to talk about this because the clutter, because I have an issue with clutter. Now, if we're gonna move together, where do you storage your stuff? Are you gonna get an outside storge? You're gonna bring all your stuff? Because a storage? You know some people a storage. Some people are hoarders and they bring all that stuff and you know I mean not for yes, Bobby,

that's part of commitment. If you're committing with someone, you're committing to all the bullshit that they want to drag into your house too. Unfortunately, that's why it's important to get to know someone. Where will you put? Okay, so if your man was to move in with you tomorrow, Mata, where will you place all their stuff? Because you're my significant other and my significant other is a hoarder, Bobby, we need to figure this out because we're gon we're

gonna be very selective. We're gonna do a garage cell. Okay, we're gonna do a garage style. We're gonna offer up, but we're gonna craigslist it. We're gonna figure it out. Even I haven't that have and we're gonna pick what

makes sense for us to move forward together? All, if I have a couch and you have a couch, we gotta pick who has a better couch, nor not unless we live in a very big house, like thankfully gave me the blessing of living in a you know, a big house where I can afford to put as many couches as I want. That doesn't happen in every case, so I feel that you have to Oh my god, I'm gonna tell you something fun fact. So my ex um,

you know, he had his own situation. I'm not gonna put you know, all the details out there out of respect, which that's another thing if you're with someone or you break up, stop sharing all the extra ship that people don't need to know. Anyways, the point was that he had a couch and I already had a couch, So I was like, okay, um, either we sell it or we figure it out. And he actually moved in his couch and when we broke up, he left without the couch,

which I felt that that was the right thing. If we break it, we break up, what are you taking? Why are you taking it? You have to start again unless it was very meaningful, but you're not taking the couch. I already got comfortable with the couch. No no, no, no no no, and all that energy and all that and everything that they did. Who pays me that? No, the couch stays, the play stays that Some, especially with you, have kind of a theme. Imagine a man brings in

a lime green couch. It says, this is my favorite thank you for coming. Merry Christmas. Hallelujah. Dally. We broke up where I'm still your friend and I love you very much, bybody, you have to start it over again. No no no, no, no, you can't take that. You can't take nothing. You can take your clothes. I have to get to this next question because this one right here. Are there more couples living to other now unmarried then

there is married? I agree, I think there's more. I think that there's more couples living together that are not married, and we need to start normalizing marriages. But people, they just don't want to get marriage. Marriage is a business, it's not the commitment. Is that marriage is a business under God? See what I want is under God. Because you can't be making promises under God and think that

one day you're not gonna be held accountable for that. See, And that's what everybody's losing, that part because a lot of people say, oh, it's just a paper. No, it's commitment. Because whereas when you're not married, you could just walk out the door today and not have to deal with no. No. But your your marriage, your marriage is legal. If you're just gonna get married at the church, EO. Yeah, for you to get married at the church, you need to

legally be married. This is a business transaction. If it's a spiritual thing like they do in other parts of the world, that's a different situation. We can get married under God, I'm gonna I'm gonna create the bowels. You sign it, I sign it. This is us. But no marriage now is a legal transaction. It's as a business. So that yes, because it's like it's for taxes, it's for legal rights, it's for many other things. It's not about it's not about health care. It's it's about you

know a lot of things. It's not about love getting married on paper. To me, it's not just the love part. It's a legal thing. You know. We can get married at the church, we can find someone, can gossip and we beat together and beat the mode Famila and everything. Everything is good, but once you make it legal, you have to be prepared with living with you for thirteen

years and won't even give you a ring. And then those are the ones that you find out have a whole another family in another country because not necessarily, not necessarily, there's a lot of people have been together for a very long time. They're happy twenty years later and never gotten married, and the moment that they get married, they get the bours a year later. Like not everybody has a six Guy's books. A second, I don't think that there's a guidebook onto how to live or have a relationship.

You know, every every relationship works differently for people. And I'm like, I want to get married now. Am I afraid of sending that document? Yes? Can that? Because a lot of times when people sign that paper, it makes them feel entitled, empowered. Every woman's almost every woman's dream to have just like to have a wedding. And then like, I mean, yeah, there are some women that don't give a crap, but there is a majority of them. And then you see your sister getting married. You see everybody

getting married and they've been in a relationship a lot less. Um, I want to get married. I'm just scared. Then you're sitting there on the side wearing you have already war fifty brides made dresses. They're all sitting on your everyding is so sacred. So everything seefn't me not. Everything is different. Everything is different because once you have money me that money is a blessing and it's a curse. Once you

have money, money can change everything. And it's like, if you don't have nothing to lose, get married a thousand times, who's gonna take what from you? What? Not? Okay, but if you have something to lose, marriage, it's a beautiful thing. I want it. But does it make me feel little

bit fearful even if I have a prenup? Yes, because you never know people's intentions because you never know what's gonna happen, because you never really know I want you goalside, they go into it, so I feel that you know, I don't know. It's it's a very scary place to be. Definitely, you don't want to be with someone for a thirteen year who doesn't want to commit with you, like I don't want to commit to you know, you need to commit with me now. If you don't want to sign

the legal paper. I get that part, but I don't know, Stevie, this is hard. What do you guys think? Let us know at exactly a matter on Twitter and on Instagram? You know, um, should you send a prenup? Who gets like? Who moves in with? Who? If you get married? Um? Oh my god? Wait talking about marriage? Is it weird if a girl proposes? People are super open minded talking about marriage and just being modern. When I see a woman proposed, is like a woman said all right, yes

or no? Because I've been with you for all this, for this long and this period of time, yes or no? Just let me know now, because probably people will move on. They just want to know if they have to move on. ND. I don't know how you say it this market fellow, and I don't know. I know it's what a man wants a woman and he is afraid of losing her. He will commit by all means necessary. And if you have to beg for a man to want to commit

to you, you can let him know. Look, I've been here this long and I'm gonna give you do they for you to decide what it is that you want to do in this relationship. You can do that. But if you have to continuously be Ba, be with me and get married. And if you have to do all of that, mom, see yourself out the door came out, you're wasting time and energy that you can't get back. Yeah, when a man wants something, he will make sure nothing.

So you don't have to You don't have to be You don't have to be the one that has to get on your knee. Now, if you choose to be the one that wants to go by the ring, get on your knees, look up, they say it will you'll marry me after you've been with him for a thousand years and he hasn't even talked about it, hasn't told you he wants to marry What is he gonna tell you? Know, he's gonna say yes that a courtesy. Yes, if he wanted to, he would have done it already. I think

I don't mean that. Absolutely great points, you have so much exactly mad. This was an amazing topic. I'm out of This was an incredible you got really really, really real. But I would like to extend the invite to join us on Instagram at exactly a matta and so well, we'll continue with this because we're gonna say goodbye. But the topic never ends. Yes, social peas exactly the topic never ends. Follow us on Twitter and on Instagram at exactly a Mata. Also follow me at Allen and follow

us at Michael da Podcast on Instagram. Yo, we are so litting. By the way, I also saw that on Michael da Podcast Network. There's so many other amazing podcasts that you guys definitely have to go check out. Thanks for listening to Exactly a Mata. Remember to share and subscribe. This has been a production of I Heart Radios microda podcast Network. For more podcasts, Okay from my Heart, visit the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you

listen to your favorite shows. Me hande, yeah, you already know what time it is. You already know what's popping. Stevie los Bos los f Free See you next Thursday on exactly on my m