Love and Dating in the Pandemic

perceived the world. Um and just give a whole bunch of opinions on different topics and just be very chill, real laid back. I first have to bring in Miami Bana. Enrique Santos, How are you doing, my love, I'm doing good. I'm happy to be here on Exactly Amda. Proud of you and the success that you're having on your podcast. No thank you. Let me tell you something. By the way,

Exactly I'm gonna exist, it's thanks to you. You're the one who hooked me up and told me you know what, you really need to get on board and get it together. That's why I am so grateful. You want to speaking Spanish speaking English speaking looking on the um and I want to be. You're gonna say, everybody's calling me. Everybody's so popular. Girl. Your phone doesn't stop going off today now that you're pregnant. Felicie eyes twins, you got to coming one for me, one for you. I'm working. I'm

working a lie. I work hard for the money. Does I feel how does that feel that you gotta bogo do Sava first? Okay, home Bogle? You know you buy one, you get one free. You excuse me when you make the money that I'm outa makes. Now she doesn't. She doesn't know about boges the economy anymore, because I still be going to about and all those things. I go to the drift store and everything. Nothing has changed, the Google it all. No, no, no, I be bouge on a budge, but bougie on a budget. I'm gonna use

that buggie on a budget battle. The truth of the matter is, I mean, originally and I lost one, and I wasn't even ready for it. I didn't even know I was pregnant. I was like two months, yeah, I peak almost three. So this has been on new to me. I haven't even staid at the nursery. I haven't thought about baby names. No saying now that I don't even know what to buy. How do you do this? You got all that cool stuff to look forward to. The good thing is that you you got your mom there.

It can help you. Yes, yes, you know this is this is these are her babies, the new experience for all of us, and we're all super excited. So while by the way, as a hard working woman and entrepreneur, I will continue to do exactly a matter during birth, after birth, thought, the whole process. Nothing has changed to you, is it? Truly? You're planning on being on the podcast live when you give birth? That could be very interesting. The only thing I can everybody's gonna hit me because

you're gonna hear home bunch of screaming. That would be interesting against an exclusive and really exclusive. We don't mean. I think here goes out of so many questions because I wrote a little list of things and I thought would be kind of interesting to discuss. How do you think the people handle dating now or relationships after the pandemic. What do you think has been the difference? Well, the difference is that people, of course, at the beginning, it's

like very like freaked. Everyone was freaked out right, you couldn't you saw people just digitally, I think. But I think a lot of that has stayed coming out of the pandemic. I think a lot of people are kind of like you know, when you go to a job interview. But I think people are zooming or you know, or there zooming or face timing before you know, before they're what's that video chats before they actually meet in person.

And I don't think it's a bad thing because there you can see if actually people at the pictures that they sent you and all that kind of stuff have been filtered or not. Because now you're looking at the actual video, you can see what the people actually look like, their faces moving with with no filter, And I think that's a good thing. And to see if you also have chemistry. I think that for some reason after the pandemic,

you know, send me to it's fucking season. It's every single girl that I met, what I know, either she got pregnant and she handled her business or everybody's having you know, pandemic babies. Um, I think it's sucking season. I think it's you know, sexy that everybody's getting freaky. And I think that after the pandemic for some reason, I feel like, oh, we were stuck in the house for too long and have to go meet somebody, I have to do something. Yes, No, for sure, there a

lot of thirsty people coming out of the pandemic. Yes. After the pandemic, I feel like people got more freaky. I feel that people got more open sexually, mentally. Everybody wants to explore and try new things and just you know, I just want to go do it. So I don't know. I think dating has changed a little bit after the pandemic. What about with the vaccination. But because you've been in a long relationship, yeah, for like a thousand years, you

don't count battle. I'm sure that you've heard of people that now, in order to like make out or you know, have sex or whatever, they're like, are you vaccinated? Oh? Of course. So we've talked a lot about it on the on the show. It's actually um called no no Vacs, No ass Act, Right, So people that are not they're not willing to look up with somebody else unless they're actually vacked. So before they pull down their pants, they

want to see people's vaccination cards. Ain't that something? Is I mean I get it, Yes, you have to protect yourself or a lot what or whatever, But why don't you have the same energy to be like, oh, do you have you know any STDs? Can I have a card that clarifies that you don't have you know? Do you have anything like that? No? Have you ever actually met somebody? Have you? Have you ever actually met some body had Oh my god, let me tell you something.

Don't don't tell nobody one time? Whatever? And he was so fine, and I was saying, yes, bitch, you don't do what. So then um, when he took it down, stopped explain, please explain the bla a lot because I wasn't clear that the going down bar was for him for you. I was on him, okay, got it right. I was about and then when he pulled it down, because you know, again that's the worml that's how you started. Have to get it juicy or whatever, and don't say when he pulled it down, I was like, wait, I'm

not something was just not looking right. Maybe it was normal because you know that every dangling is the special and it has his own pion artistic better that one. For some reason, my gut feeling was like, don't do it, and after that it was just and the top it was just I don't know. Listen, each each penis is definitely a work of arts. We all have our own inside correct, correct, and they're and they're unique. But it's

something smelled off. It wasn't the smell, it was just the way it looked that I wasn't sure if I should put my mouth on it or not. Yeah. Yeah, so if it looks suspicious, people, if it looks suspicious or if it smells suspicious, don't put your mouth. I am I'm really shocked. I did not expect to come on Ada's podcast to talk about stinky dicks. Well, welcome to exactly. Okay, so yeah, no I didn't end up doing that. But have you ever had an awkward situation ever? Yeah,

come on, it happens to all of us. And then you gotta you gotta kind of like play it off,

you know what I'm saying. How do you pay it off? Well, you know, you can do the alamanos as you know, if you cut your hands are kind of going all the place when you're eating things up, and then you can you kind of do the thing where you kind of you know, put your hands with the places where they go, and then you kind of like you're scratching, you know, huh, and then you kind of like and then if something smells off, then you know that and it's gonna be shower sex or you're just gonna have

to cancel it. Do you tell them to go to the shower or do you cancel it? No? No, no, you never tell somebody go shower. That just wouldn't be right, you know. But if it's a regular b oh, we all have b oh of course, and if you've been you know, you sweat a little bit and maybe you don't realize it. And if that's a situation, just go to the shower, but together collectively and you have fun. In the show is my first time I get that part. But like, if you're ready my man's bands. I mean,

I've had some funky sex before, so it's fine. Do you like funky sex? I do. Sometimes some people can't, you know, some people get turned on by the orders. Yeah, yeah, get your hormones sometimes, Like I don't mind a little you know, sweaty balls something. Times it's like, you know, I can take it and get Oh that's fair, that's my man. So I think that that's okay. Sometimes now

there's a difference. You have to know the differences. But anyways, if you go, for example, on a Tinder date, if you're out here on Tinder dates, and you're out here, you know, going on these apps or whatever, and it's your first time, I definitely don't suggest for you to go out here and experiment and explore. You know that during the pandemic, I actually opened the Tinder account for my mom so that she can you know, I want her to date somebody, and you're still trying to get

her out of your house. I'm not trying to get her out of my house. I'm just trying to find her man so that she don't feel lonely. Yeah, the question, I don't know. I've I've taken her to the freaky store and she'll be like no, but then she will ask all the types of questions, So I don't know. I think is it offered? Now? Let me ask you, because you know you're very close to your mom and your dad too, are they ever open with you about

those type of things? No? No, no, no, no no like now more more recently now though that that that I'm older, I said, like the jokes and those kind of things in front of her, and she's more comfortable with and she opens up a little more. But never never that, never that open, never that that open. No, no, no, no, you think she would think no, she want to say

she'd be from with me and comfortable with it. But I feel kind of odd having certain conversations with with with my mom, although, like I said, now more more open to saying certain jokes. In the past, I never would have said she's more open than me. And do you know a mom and that divorced couples three or four years ago, so instead of that a makes a

little different. But I know, I think I might sound weird, but I think I'm more comfortable talking about sex and stuff with my mom and with my dad really, if that makes sense, Yes, as most definitely you have a different bond with each one. So you know, Gonkin, No, I think that personally because my mom is my best friend for so long, we just end up. Um, I just like to break the ice so it doesn't become

weird later on. So but I know you and I have had this conversation about you know, you being a little frustrated about living in the same roof with your mom and you try to get freaky and your mom being there and you're not being able to be loud and you're not giving your space to get your friend and to masturbate. Now, yesterday I had to go do it in the bathroom and turn on the water and everything,

and I have to be like looking by yourself. But I thought, but I thought you had somebody was helping with So you know, he just gave me my babies. I'm grateful for it, but to super there, it'd be hard. And I know everybody's like, oh my god, I can't believe at talking like that, But I just like that exactly amount of a space where we don't have any taboos, anything is anything. I feel that we're all human, we're all grown right, and everybody has these conversations and these thoughts.

Maybe they just don't have the platform to talk about it openly or the willingness to do because they're embarrassed or don't be embarrassed about your body, about your sexuality. We also try different things, and you know, I'm sure maybe there's somebody a listener out there that sometimes you want to get your freak on, and it'd be hard when you have your parents or maybe you have your kids around. I don't know how you do when you have your kids. Oh my god, I got two daughters.

Now I feel like, don't get that's what you have, something that you have that to look forward to. Yeah, well, you know a lot of people, a lot of people actually a lot of married people end up divorcing because of that, because they end up dis thing seeing uh you know, there's the kids cause a lot of friction for them and they end up drifting apart. Oh because of kids. That is terrible. So you gotta people gotta be careful with you know, and how to balance those Yeah,

I need to figure that part out. That's very important because then you end up creating like schedules and it's not spontaneous anymore, like every Thursday at six o'clock. You know, we have to yo. That's the thing. You know, there's there's actual there's people that actually schedule sex. Is that a bad thing or is that a good thing? I don't. I think it's a thing. I think it's a sad thing. I think it's a sad thing. If you have to be in you know, do you get to that level?

But I get it, But people have responsibilities, and they have multiple kids, and some people have two or three jobs, you know what I'm saying, And just to make sure that they don't Like Thursday at seven o'clock, you already know you have thirty minutes to get in, Uh, get off me. What if you're not in the mood at that moment and instead of seven o'clock, you're in the mood at seven in the morning, but you can't you

know what I mean. It's kind of it that I would love to talk to someone that has those type of sexual you know, the type of schedules. Do you have a schedule because you work a lot too, you wake up early in the morning. No, no, no no, no, I don't. But yeah, but I don't believe in scheduling sex. No,

that's spontaneous. It's at the moment, okay. And what if you don't, because that happens too when you get so busy and you get so caught up working by the time that comes down, they're gonna have to be you know, sexy andsductive, like I have to shape my lass, my ask that's too much work. Like, but see, guys are different, Yeah, because I'd be like, yeah, of course, but but when you just describe women, it's like a whole production in

order to have sex. Guys, it just doesn't matter. And the guys are used to it too, and I think ladies overdo it sometimes. Of course you want to take care of yourself and stuff, but most guys just turn the lights down. But got out. That's that's true. That's true. But with women is it is a mental connection. The gay sex is different to you know what I'm saying. It's like when I yeah, that's true, I love you,

that is true. But I mean, okay, so wait because you know that I have my whole list of things and yeah, come, okay, I'll be all over the place because I feel like love and relationship and everything has changed so much. I feel like everybody's looking for it. Ship I was looking for it. I wanted my fairy tale. I wanted my you know, and my picnics and lemonades and barbecues on Sundays and my little poppy and kids. He doesn't and I didn't turn out to be that way.

So I feel like I don't know when it comes to love and relationship, things have changed a lot. Um. Do you feel that because women now are becoming more independent and more like, you know, I'm a boss bitch and I do this, And do you feel that we're losing that connection, like we're not having those bombs, those relationships like that anymore. Well, I think there's a fine line.

And I'm all for women empowerment and women doing their thing and giving you know, we've got to give women the respect that you guys deserve and the lane that you guys. Uh oh, that a lot of people don't and refuse to accept the fact that women can do as much as men can. And some things you guys do a lot better than men do. But we gotta accept some things men do better than women, and some things women do better than men. And I think women still need to be treated with respect and with love

the way you know things should be. However, but I think, however, it's yeah, it's I mean, because sometimes I'd be feeling like a man myself, like I want to be I'm a lady. Sometimes I want to be treated by me. Flowers may lie to me, lie to me like everybody else doesn't. But you know what, but but here's the tell you where it's a fine line. And here is where it gets very confusing because I can get it. You want to be a gentleman, right, you want to open a door for a lady. Some people take it

to the next level and the exaggerate. What are you doing? I have two hands, I can I can open you know, I think you know what I'm saying, like I can open the door myself. What are you doing? It's like I didn't mean to offend you. So nowadays you don't even know what's right, what's wrong, and how to react because people are just gonna get piste off, that's true. Or you never know where you're gonna disrespect somebody or step on somebody's toes without wanting for meaning to. That

is true. I feel that that we have lost that balance women. Now we become so independent and so empowered, which is fine. I love it. I'm one of I'm one of those women. But at the same time, you know, we want to be nurtured and want to be loved. I feel that now I don't know, we come okay, disconnect. I you know, I feel like men don't want to commit on both of these days. Maybe let me tell you what's going on. There is a better there's a

there's a huge level of intolerance. Number one, people are totally intolerant to other people's opinions, to other people's views. That's number one. And then number two, we've got to accept and understand the fact that we have to accept each other. Yes, okay, you accept me, I accept you. We understand each other. We've got to communicate. People don't communicate.

We just assumed that people understand where we're coming from, or we assume that because what I posted a month ago on Instagram, people are going to know where my heart and where my brain is at, and what I want and what my expectations are. So this comes at all levels. Levels in our relationships with our significant others, with our parents, with people with their kids. We don't communicate. And I think it's also an attention thing. It's people

don't do it um on purpose. I think that there's so many things that are competing for our attention that sometimes we forget. You know, many times I assumed that I told my work team, or I've told my partner, I've told my mom's or my brother something, and I realized, oh, and then I get upset when things don't happen, And then I had to tap on the break and sit. Wait a minute, I'm an asshole because I'm it's my fault that we're having this discussion or that we're in

this predicament of this problem because I never communicated. So I think we need to communicate more what we expect of in a relationship. No matter who the relationship, you should do it. You should do it from the beginning, right from the get go, or should you wait a little bit. Well, I just when you feel it. That's another thing. These kind of things don't have a manual. You know, right or wrong, or it's not black and white. A lot of these things are great, and if you

feel a certain way communicated. I just think everything in life is timing, and there's a song remembers. Listen to you, huh, listen to you. That's what I know it's like. But it is true. I think that communication is important. I'm one of those I'm not the best one at communicating. It's a libre thing. I just want peace and love to the universe. You know, anti confrontational, and that can aso cause you a lot of issues. If you feel something, just say it, damn it, stop holding your tongue and

from the beginning, put your cards on the table. All of a suden announced and they have these kids. My demeanor has changed a little bit and I feel more focused, and it's like the water to see I want this, this, this, this, Can you do it? Can you handle it? Yes? No? Okay, but bumbaye. So if we can't figure it out, because I feel like, come into a relationship, coming to a friendship, coming to whatever. Obviously, whenever you feel the time it's

ready to have that conversation. Let them know what you tolerate, what you accept, what you don't take, what you don't. Don't wait till it's too late. Don't wait until it's too late to them being like, oh I don't like this. I don't like that too late. So I feel that it is true from the beginning. You should definitely talk. There's a there's a Brunal songs un Brunal mar song for that one too. I should have that. Yes, it's too late. Right after that, Hey, the song was rock

set um. The song is back from let me listen to your Yes, the these are the from the from UK from Okay, that's what I love about you. He wanted he did his research. I'll give you problemly because they can't stay. How many times are you thinking about thinking about something and figet somebody's name or a situation, or the name of a movie or the name of a song, and you totally forget and you're having a conversation with somebody, and the moment that person leaves the

phone the conversation, then you like calling you things. Do it now? Do it now if you feel like doing it now. If you don't have an answer, google it now. Don't google Italy smart. Talking about remembering, do you feel that a new relationships you should bring up the past or ask about past relationships? No, I think it's a

big mistake because you're setting up for failure. You're setting yourself up for failure because you know they're gonna're gonna answer something that's either gonna bother you or it's gonna hurt you, or it's gonna cause friction with your new partners. So why even ask something like that? And no matter what, and no matter how much they swear to you, you you know that person never gonna give you the right number. They're always gonna give themselves at discount. I don't know.

I almost feel like if you do ask about you know, past relationships. You can kind of maybe hear certain patterns or certain things that you could be like, well, you know you're starting to do that thing you said that you did before, but that's why you broke up with Does that matter? No, I just don't ask. No, you know what happens if if you know, because if you're bringing up past relationships, what type of pattern are you're looking to find, You're looking to find what how he

treats women. You're gonna know how he treats women the way he treats you. I mean, of course you're gonna want to know if the guy has been arrested for beating people up in the past, or if he has you know, domestic violence past. You definitely don't want to be in an abusive relationship. On anyone that's listening, that's that's in an abusive relationship. Get the hell out now, background checks. I know, you know, I find it kind

of kind of weird. Um, But in if you're out there dating today, I don't I wouldn't say don't do it, especially if you're looking for something serious, especially if you have kids from another relationship and now it's a new person coming in you you gotta know who you're bringing into your house and who you're gonna have around your kids, around your family, because most there are, like you said, a lot of freaky and crazy people, cycled people all

the neighbors and analties everything. I didn't look like he was a nice like a bad person or you hear you hear stories all the time. You know they've been married, happily married for I don't know how many years, and then it turns out to the guys has like is married to three other women at the same time, and you know two other continentals. Yeah, that sounds familiar. Well, I'll tell you this really, so I'll tell you that I wish I had hair to be well you could.

You know this is you have to fake it till you make it. I just you know what I'm saying, it put some extensions. How much of that hair is is real? Before that when you had the afro that was yours and I know a lot of people didn't even believe it. Sometimes you have to pull on it, and some people even accused you of wearing an afro

to like exaggerate you know your African explain it. And I did get to a point where I was like, yes, I do wear afro extensions because it was hard to keep an afro perfect rounded seven batto now that ever since the pandemic, I decided to start changing looks. And I've gone blonde, and I've gone red, and I've gone long and come I've had funny. I'm just having fun. Better this one. Frets are expensive, memo. It's like a thousand dollars worth of hair. God knows whose hair this is, semon,

the hair, that human hair, that horse hair. It's expensive. No, I stopped doing the bootleg ones. Yeah, it's better to do one good investment e and just keep rocking it. And can you change the color of that diet? You can roll or anything that you want and survives. Ueta. That's the thing. Queta either on me away all ther smeal between one thing and the other. I must admit that I have missed you so much. I have missed you so much. I missed being with you. I want

to go back to your to your radio station. By the way, you have a podcast now to all our my name is. I see that you. I love the format that you really get to like know the person.

And because everybody feel like asked the same thing. So when when in where can they check out yours all My my my Name is on my Heart radio app every Friday we have a new episode also part of Michael to the podcast network which AMA is part of the family that me and we're all we are all part of the family and on all O my name is I like highlighting you know, um sometimes like you said, the same as your podcast, sometimes in Spanish, sometimes in English,

sometimes in Spanish. However, we communicate because we are Latinos that live in two different worlds, right and just hearing Latino success stories for people that have uh positively affected Latino culture and lifestyles here in the United States or have uh being and everyone has a story to tell. So we're having a lot of fun being able to sit down and talk with from politicians, people regular walks of life, uh some artists as well. But to get to you know, get them to open up and see

what's going on. I'm only in there in their heads, but also more importantly in their hearts. Yeah, for sure, I definitely like that. Um. And if if you ever have a guest that's kind of freaky, feel free to send them my way. You've gotten a lot freakier girl ever since you started your podcast. Exactly, I'm out of its exactly how what I imagined. And it is not exactly one of the topics that I thought you were

going to cover, but I am. I'm loving it. No, to be honest, we we we cover all types of topics, like recently, I just did one about single mothers. Um. I've done immigration topics, I've done colorism issues, I have done domestic abuse, I have done you know, mental health. I've done a little bit of everything. And then once in a while, I'm when I have, um, people like yourself that I know that are open minded and are fun and are spontaneous and are you know, just free.

I like to enjoy myself be like, ah, I found one of me. Let's go talk about it. But um, but for sure, UM, if you had any three points, give me three pointers for anyone who's looking to date now, uh, in this new era after the pandemic, three good new pointers. Be careful, be careful, and be careful well no communication for sure, uh communication communication, be be honest, but you also got to be careful, so communication be careful. Um, And I would say, don't take no ship like exactly

what we're talking about. Tell people what your expectations are, what you want and don't and that's part. Taking no ship is also part. You want that person to be honest, but you need to be honest as well. So there are people who be hiding kids. People you know you've got kids, you're going into relationship. Be open up with

these people. Let that look I'm looking for I'm looking for fun tonight, or I'm looking for someone to pass the holidays, or I'm I just want someone to take the mom's house for Thanksgiving Day, or I just want to date you for Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year's and then I'm gonn dump you. Maybe that might not be the intentions. You don't have to get to that many deep sales, but be upfront with people and let them know this is uh, this is look. I like you,

we have chemistry. Let's see where it goes. I'm not looking for anything serious, but I think where people make a big mistake is not being honest and not letting people know. Again, the communication is key. Lame them know what you expect out of that relationship, and that's okay if it's changing, because you can want something today and sometimes your heart takes over and it's something totally different and or you can find and sometimes it's unexpected people

that know. How many people don't you know, I'm that want to have babies? Right? And guys are different, right, because guys can pregnant at any age. But women, you know, we all know your biological clock is ticking. And you have your priorities and be at your education or be at your family or whatever. You know. You know, your your work or whatever it is that you're working on. You have something that that's ticking that men don't necessarily

have to worry about. So that's a big stress for women, especially for women. Be upfront and say what time it is, Hey, I'm you know, I'm this age, I want to have kids, I don't want to have kids. I want to focus on my career whatever the case may be. And be honest and be upfront with men. Uh, and men need to be more upfront and honest the same as well.

All sexiest. Everyone should be more up front, communicate more of what they want, say what they mean instead of hiding ship, get into trouble and you're only you're only lying to yourself and doing yourself at this service. If you don't accept what what you like. If you're freaking you like you know, you got a foot fetish and you like smelling smelly feet, just be up front. Hey, yeah, I mean you might find this crazy, but I want

to suck on your toast tonight. Yeah. Yeah, you might be you, you be impressed, you might might love it. Yeah for sure, I agree with you a thousand percent. I do feel that communication. I think. If anything, if we're taking anything away from this conversation today when it comes to dating, social media, you know, dating apps and all these things, is wherever it is that you're looking for love, wherever it is that you're looking for your significant other, maybe just to have a good time. Just

have good communication skills. Make sure that you put yourself out there and let people know exactly what you're looking for. Stop lying, and that goes both ways. If you know life is too short, don't waste your time pretending to be somebody that you're not. Don't waste your time pretending anything. Just be who you are, be honest, be open about it, and like that. You don't waste nobody's time and nobody

wastes yours. Right. So with that being said, what I just add one other thing in there that goes to all the filters. To chill with the filters. Everybody. If if you've got your battle scars, if you got your SELLU light, you're human. It's okay. It on your body. Hey, I'm gonna be one of those. Now. I had a whole body transformation. I went from you know to thirty lost sixty pounds during the pandemic, got real, real thin with on the food. Now, you know a bunch of

people criticize you. Yeah, a lot of people are like and those is that if you're chunky, they talk, if you're skinny, they talk. Now that my body is going through the transformation. My bulls are growing, my asses coming back. You know, I'm getting white on the side. I'm starting to see a couple of stretch marks on the side. And you know, my body is gonna change. I mean, I'm I'm you know, creating life as we speak, I'm

creating two human beings. My body is gonna change. And later on, you know, I will be open with you guys on exactly a mate on all the social media platforms as well, so you guys can see my new body and then the transformation later on as well, so be part of my journey. And Rique, I love you so much. And Rique Santos, the one and only. As usual, Thank you for all the love and support the guys, remember to rate us, give us this five stars, Share

this podcast with everyone that you know. This has definitely been one of the best podcasts, one of the best episodes I've had. I've had so much fun. And also go check us out. All of our episodes are available if you go to YouTube and write or exactly a mode so you can re enjoy these episodes. This has been a production of I Heart Radios Michael podcast Network and for more podcasts from my heart, visit the iHeart Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you listen to your

favorite podcast. This is your girl, Ama Negra. You're listening to exactly a Matter. You can check us out every Thursday. Check h