Welcome, Welcome, guys, was good? Was popping?
Is your girl Amada? And you're listening to exactly Amada? A production of iHeart. Thank you once again for tuning in and as usual, Levigo, don't forget to subscribe to the podcast on your favorite podcast platform, whatever it may be, and go ahead and rate us those five stars and leave us a review.
Yeah, am one of the Hamasavada. You like the show? If you don't like to show, what do you want me to talk about today's episode? I wanted to do something. Okay, it hits home a little bit.
Expectations between women and men, who's held to higher standards? I really want to know. I've been going on social media. I've been seeing so many comments about how men of value, you know, valuable men, you know, women that have higher standards, men that have higher standards. What are the damn standards? I don't understand anymore at this point. When we talk about theek and men of value and higher standards, what
exactly does that mean at this point? Because for example, at one point I was even told that my value as a woman had You know, I've been kind of devalued because now I have children and I am unmarried.
At one point, being married made.
You be like, oh, you know, you know, you reach your standards in life or your goals in life. But since I don't have that, does that mean that I have you know, my value has gone down? And not only that, but then there's also when it comes to
the standards and values. I've also heard that once a woman hits a certain age point and you still haven't gotten married, or you still haven't gotten a man, or you still haven't had children, or you still you know, whatever, then your value has gone down because supposedly, when you're in your twenties you're at like a hundred, right then, supposedly based on what men I've heard men say, then in your thirties, you know you still have a chance. But once you hit forty and fifty, you know you
kind of get whatever is left. Do you guys believe in that crap the same way that I've heard the men.
Man's value change obviously.
When obviously, you know, according to some women say once they have a lot of several different baby mamas, if you have three or four different baby mamas, does your standard as a man changes, Your value as a man changes, if you still live at home with your mother and your father. But let's say you're the one that pays all the bills. You know, you're holding your family down, but you're still living with your mom and your dad.
Does your value of a man go down? I don't know.
I feel like social media these days has allowed people to have platforms where they feel that they can just give their opinions.
Which is fine.
Everybody has the rest to give their opinion that I say, whatever you want. But unfortunately some of these comments, especially according to who you know, from where they come from, who says it, it does affect and influence society to a certain extent because they achieve me and whatever is that people here, they copy paste and share it and then all of a sudden, this now has become the truth, which I disagree on. There's a lot of things that I disagree on, like who said that your experience is
the truth? And like I said, today's episode is all about expectations.
What do we expect?
You know, do we expect more from men that we do from women in relationships? Now that's a good point. What is a high value man or woman?
Can you guys let me know on YouTube?
Go there on exactly amount of on the YouTube and give me your opinion.
What do you consider a high value woman or man?
Anyways, I also want to go back to this when it comes to relationships, right, I don't know. Tell me if I'm wrong. When it comes to expect to relationships. Do we expect more from men in a religion or from a woman? When I say that, I feel like a lot of women correct me if I'm wrong. A lot of women are looking for a man that's over six five. He's speed, he's intellectual, he's respectful.
He's you know, his high. His hygieneus at a thousand.
He goes to the gym every day, he wastes up in the morning, he does his bed, he has a Ferrari. His bank account is like I don't know how many millions of dollars. And I feel like that it's expectations in many occasions from women what they expected a man sometimes can be a little bit okay, let's be a little bit more realistic, is it me? But then again, I also feel like, can you have your cake and eat it too? There are men out there that are like that. Bet, you have to mind me. I'm not
go searching. It's like pay the lottery, like the possibilities of you pointing it. And then on top of that, a man who's loyal, you know that he's faithful, that you know he's gonna be with you forever and everything he's ever gonna cheat. And then you know he loves your mother, and he loves your children if you have kids, and then he'd be saygun the pause. Where are these men that supposedly women have these standards for that you're supposed to find a lot of women are just out
here sitting around waiting for that guy to come. Where the hell is he supposed to be at the same way that I feel that a lot of men are expecting these women that are fine as hell. You know, their bodies are perfectly no stretch marks, no selling light, boobs held all the way up.
To her freaking chin. You know, her bud is round and bubbly.
She cooks, she cleans, she does the bed, she you know what I'm saying, handles you as soon as you come from work.
That she you know, has money, and it takes you out and pays.
Where the hell have we gone to the point that now we both have these high, unrealistic expectations from each other. Then now I feel like it's so much harder for women to have real, like realistic relationship in men as well, I feel like it's harder for men to be in a stable relationship.
It's my opinion.
I also feel that even porn men that watch porn, women that watch porn whatever. I watch it myself, but I feel like even that part that has been so normalized, from only fans to social media to everything, you know, being overly sexualized, I think that that also has affected the standards of what we expect in a relationship. We expect the women to, oh, she's gonna, you know, do this, and she's gonna be a porn star and she's gonna.
Circus, so lay me.
And then the guy is supposed to do this and do that, and he's supposed to look like this, and wait a second. I feel like what has happened to relationships these days?
I feel that social media has also affected so much.
And this is only but my opinion, we're so busy looking at all these fake photoshop, face tuned relationships on social media, about how everybody has this pertur relationship. The dinners are so expensive and fabulous, that they're you know, they're doing TikTok dances all day together.
They're here a resorts and da da la dah. You know they they bought a house together.
I'm not saying that it's not possible, but how much of it is it truly realistic? How many of these relationships, how many of these you know couples are posting when they argue, when they wake up looking you know, crunchy as hell, when you know the bills aren't being paid.
When they have disagreements.
How many of us are really looking at the real part of what a quote unquote relationship should look like. So that's why I feel personally that these standards of what men expect in a relationship and what women expect are so realistic. Then now everybody just feels so much
more comfortable being single and having all these options. Something else I've heard is that obviously in your youth you want to solidify and find a partner, right because the older you get, Supposedly a lot of people will say.
That it's harder to find someone.
Why because now you no longer which is okay, you can smell and see through the bullshit you no longer put up with a lot of things. You confront things straight to the point, and now maybe it'll be you know, a little bit harder for you to find someone. But with that being said, I just feel like I don't know what's happening. I feel like if we don't figure out ways of even having we don't even listen to the elderly anymore.
We don't even listen to our elders anymore for advice.
Those relationships that used to left in the last forty sixty years, now it's like you date for a couple of years, that things don't work out, then you're ready to step out. It shouldn't be that way. We found a study by the University of Michigan and the University of Texas at Austin which measured the expectations and standards of potential romantic partners.
And let me tell you what they said.
I'm gonna read you later, I want you to catch it up. But what they said was crazy. I also want to give you, you know, my personal thoughts, like I've said before, on how I feel about this. But like I said before, I want you guys to also go and give me your opinion on the YouTube channel Goal subscribe, Go right now, go to the YouTube channel exactly a'm
matat and tell me how you feel about it. Have you ever felt that you've been in a relationship where your partner has expected too much from you based off social media, based off TV, based off what their mother, their father, their friends.
Tell you, you know, tell them that you should be. Have they ever compared you to.
Like Meganita's you know wife or Menganito's you know husband. Oh, Fulanito does this for her? Fulanita does that?
Like? Have they ever done that.
To you that you feel like, yo, their relationship is theirs? Why are you comparing what we got going on.
To what they have going on? And just because you see that part, that doesn't mean that that's the truth of what their relationship is. That's just part of it. Is it me or not?
Right?
I also feel like the physical.
Attraction for your partner, the standards have also changed so much because we have these expectations of you know, you're supposed to have a six pack, and you're supposed to have you know, your body's supposed to be all this, But in a real solidified relationship at one point, the possibilities of your body changing are one thousand percent happening. Does that mean that you stop loving the person that you're with? Does that mean that you automatically go out
there and cheat? How are you supposed to handle that? How are you supposed to stay in love with your partner?
I don't know. How are you supposed to stay in love with your partner?
When you see you know, people on social media consistently throwing this overly sexualized images of what oh if this doesn't work out, just go to the next person, Go to the next person. But all these people that you see on social media giving you advice on if she ain't this, then drop her.
If he is that, then dropper. Then you'll see.
Those same people ending up being lonely as hell in their house, still trying to figure it out.
So no, so they give you do whatever you think.
That is right, and if you really love somebody, you work things out physically, you're not you know, you feel like, oh me, nah, you've let yourself down a little bit.
Let's talk it out as partners. But don't fall for this. I am a woman of value.
Therefore, at this point in my life, if you don't look like William Levy, if you don't look like rapid if you don't look like you know Michael B.
Jordan's Yeah, I can't do it.
I feel like we're falling into this trap where we're supposed to women have become so you know, independent. Shout outs to all the independent feminist women of the shout outs to you, a to each his own. I'm just giving my personal opinion. We become so independent and we don't need no men, and we don't need this, and we don't need that that at the end, we're we're finding a lot of like the real conversations that are
happening behind closed doors. We're finding a lot of lonely you know, I don't want to say bitter, A lot of lonely, hurt women, you know, the same way that we find a lot of hurt, angry men. There's just so much disconnection in this generation that I don't know where we're supposed to go from here. Financially, let's go to that too. I find a lot of men that are looking for women that are financially stable. Yeah, it's really nice to find you a girl that she's a boss.
She got you know what I'm saying, She got her money, she got her apartment, her house, she got this, she got that, Da da da da, But do you know what that also comes with? And I and I saw something on social media that I would agree with one hundred percent. Most women don't want to have masculine energy, but a lot of us have had to, you know, get you know, become that masculine energy because we haven't
been able to find someone. And even when you do find a man, in many occasions, when they don't stand up to the plate, when they don't stand up to what a man should be doing, you know, provide protect all of them out that we already know, then.
You feel like you have to fill in that void.
The same way when we have a lot of men that are being raised by Please forgive me. There's a lot of mothers out there that do a great job, but there's a lot of mothers out there get song om and apolo ad ass everything that your son does. You're right there to oh, baby, everything's gonna be okay. You know that he's doing wrong. You see him cheating on his wife, You see him, you know, cheating on his girlfriend, doing all types of and you don't say anything.
You're creating a there's a whole generation of a lot of soft, gentle tender, you know, with a lot of feminine energy men that are not stepping.
Up to the plate as well.
So the roles have somewhat changed, and we find a lot of men no longer wanting to be providers, no longer looking to protect. No, they're looking to be protected. They're looking to be financially you know, and invested in. And I'm not saying that if you're a good man, you don't deserve to get treated with gifts and love and appreciation and a lot of beautiful things and be treated and be shown you know that I love you,
that I appreciate that I am. I'm not talking about they could go buy him some socks and some boxers and some No, go out there and put some effort into your man as well. If he's holding you down, if he's tired of working, if he's providing, if when something is wrong you feel like you can go to your man and he got your back, or he's going to stand up to the plate. That man deserves every little bit of respect and love and appreciation etolo emas.
But then there's also in this new generation a lot of men that are looking for a woman a's a boss to just you know, all I got really is is this piece of a body to provide, you know what I'm saying. And with that being said, because I look good, because I'm high, because I'm this, then you're just supposed to do for me. No, So then that's what we find so many women becoming financially independent and no longer feeling that they like they need a man.
We find so many women now that just feel like, oh, I can just have as many one nine stands, as many things as I want, and now I'm the one who's empowering myself. I'm the one taking control and blah blah blah, all the nonsense that I personally don't believe.
I don't believe that.
I hear a lot of women saying it, I do it because I want to, I do it because I'm empowered, or do it because of my body. I personally don't believe that any woman at the end of the day, realistically just wants to be jumping from one bed to the other just because you have the power to do it, you know, because if you give it up, they're gonna take it.
Period. If you're out here exposing it. That's just what's gonna happen.
The same way that there's men out there that you know, there's women who if you look good and you're giving it.
Up, a lot of them would just take it.
But where is the love, the appreciation, the comfort, the you know, moral and spiritual and mental support. Where is where is the foundation of that? Let's talk about being faithful, the faithful aspect of relationships. Do we expect men to be more faithful than women in relationships with than men? I feel like men in many occasions have been caught
more cheating and women are have stayed. And according to a lot of men, these high value men, we're supposed to allow men to cheat and not even cheats just you know, they're in relationship, not even in a relationship. Kay, you're the main one, and I'm just you know, it's just sex. It doesn't mean anything. I'm just you know, I'm hogh and I got money and I'm a high value man and you know the women want me and
I'm just gonna wait pause. So are we no longer holding each other accountable for being respectful and loyal into relationships? Are we just supposed to be you know, what I'm saying, like just having sex here and there, and what does that mean? So if you're a high value men and you're allowed to have several women, does that mean that high value women can also do the same. Not really, because if they do it, which they physically can, will
society look at them the same? No, because even then society has given us their own version of the standards that we should be held upon. Just like when you go to social media, the first thing that you see you see a rich.
Guy with a whole sack of women.
Anyways, we've seen many, many occasions where there is marriages that work, you know, one husband, several wives, one wife, several husbands.
But that's not the majority of society.
And even when you look at that, you see all the negative comments that men and women have to say about a woman that you know that is surrounded by several men. I don't know, I just feel like I feel like social media affects a lot of relationships. The things that you see visually every day does affect what is being programmed and put into your mindset.
We barely see, you know, a lot of.
Relationships or people telling you to be realistic with your standards and I feel like you have the rest that have as high standards as you want. But when you see yourself, you know, with're fifty sixty years old, still lonely, with no relationship, trying to figure it out. Then you know, I guess that's just on you, because I think we also have to understand that nobody is perfect, no relationship is perfect. You gotta work with That's what marriage is,
That's what a relationship is. That's what having a partner is about. Is working through things. You work things out, you get to know each other, your partners in life. You're looking for a partner in life. We're not meant to my understanding, we're not meant to get you know, we're born by ourselves, but God has put us so that we can find someone else.
Everyone needs that physical affection.
And it's not just the sexual you know, affection, it's the emotional affection.
You know. And I just I don't know, is it me?
I feel like my mom raised me old school and I'd be like, but I get don't saying not They all this crap about morals and respect you to Lina, when at the end of the day, people.
Don't even use it anymore.
Is it just me These expectations may be influenced by so much, so much of the things that's just around us, including social media, you know, which I like I said before, I think it pays a huge part in the way that people behave their habits, how men and women are viewed by.
Those who consume all this action on social media, I don't know.
Without also being said, what does it mean these days to actually be in a relationship? So here goes a question, what does it mean for us in our you know, generation, to be in a relationship? What is your definition of being in a relationship? What it means that we should be aware of our expectations and standards and how they may differ from those of our partners.
I feel like.
Even now, when you when you date, when you go out, you have to specify what you're looking for and what a relationship exactly is, because everybody has their own version of it. Can we're just going out, We're just talking, we're just dating, we're getting to know each other, we're you know, we're just friends. We are in an open relationship, we are in a committed relationship. So even now you have to specify what exactly is it that you're in Listen.
I'm not here to judge anyone because I'm only giving but my opinion.
And like I.
Said, I wanted to talk about these high expectations of men and women because every day I see more videos on social media Facebook, here and there, all over the page Instagram where people are talking about what women should look like, what women should stand up for, what women should expect from a man in every aspect financially, you know, morally, physically, all these standards of what we expect men to do
and provide for us. In many occasions, we're no longer talking about providing as far as I need to to, you know, take care of the family, take care of the household, while as a woman, I'm gonna also hold you down and I'm gonna take care of this. If you you know you do this, then my role will be to do that. Or we can discuss it and then we both do this for each other.
Whatever.
Now, I just feel like there's there's so many distorted versions of we're all expecting and looking for these billionaires,
these millionaires. They're just gonna have us on yachts and private planes and they're gonna be doing all these things, and you know, we're we're now giving more importance and value to a burken bag and Chanel bags and all these other crap and all the ferraris and the bedleys and all this other stuff that we're not you know, we're not really talking about like are you respectful?
Can you really you know, will you love me and my family?
Can you be a good father figure to our children if we have children, like you know, like looking at all the other things besides the materialistic part, where does that go? Do we appreciate man for all the other things that they can bring to the table, that they can provide, that they can do, that they that they are willing and meant to do.
Are we looking at their potential and.
The way that they can grow with us in a partnership, you know, knowing that they're not perfect, but they're willing to try, that they're willing to love. I feel like in many occasions we let go of those people that have truly shown us that they're willing to sacrifice for us, that they really do love us, But they may.
Financially not be there.
They may not physically be as hot or be the version of men or women that you expect. But at the end of the day, a lot of those people, at the long run, I'm sure you've thought about them, like this person really loved me, this person really cared about me.
I'm sure this person today.
We would have been this far in life because of X, Y, and Z, but because of your standards that in many occasions can be unrealistic.
I'm not saying don't have standards.
I'm saying, don't let social media, don't let society influence you to the point that you end up by yourself because or you end up with the wrong person because of the quote unquote standards and the value that you see yourself in there or that you're supposed to hold. The same thing goes for women. There's so many good men out there, because unfortunately I haven't found one myself
for me. But I can't discredit and say that there isn't some men out there that are willing to give you their last piece of bread, that are not willing to work and sacrifice and be a good father figure and love you or respect you and just give you the world because I have seen it. I've seen that happen for other women. It hasn't happened for me. Yet, it doesn't mean that I've lost hope. It doesn't mean
that it's not going to happen. But it also does mean that I might have to be a little bit more flexible with my standards, right, I might have to be a little bit more flexible and not I guess I don't know if you're saying the word realistic is the right term, but I might have to be a little bit more flexible and say, you know what, you may not have the X, Y and Z that I want, it that I expect.
Maybe we can work on that together. Maybe we can build that together.
Maybe you have the potential that I'm looking for to do those things.
But I don't know. I just see that a lot of us are getting lost in the mix.
We're getting lost in the mix looking for this perfect body and this perfect all this crap and perfection doesn't exist. We got to be flexible and be aware, you know, and be also respectful of your partners. You know they're vision because they also have a vision and they have their own standards for you as well.
But I think that communication is key.
Being able to just communicate and talk and negotiate those expectations, be willing to figure out you know what, you don't have this, I don't have that, but we both have this and we're willing to do that.
Does that make sense anyways?
Don't get yourself lost in the mix of this perfection.
We don't live in a movie. We don't live you know this TV.
Like I said before, photoshop, social media, picture this, you know TikTok version of what a relationship is is not realistic.
It's not true.
Remember then, when people show you something on social media, they're showing you what they want you to see.
It doesn't mean that that is the truth, you understand.
Don't let society and social media make you lose someone that really cares for you because you're trying to be like on social media or because you're trying to I saw that. No no, no, no, no no y. What works for you? Do what's best for you and be honest. Be honest with yourself as well, because I'm sure that all the things that you're requesting and that you want from somebody else, do you have that?
Can you provide?
Then?
Do you can't? Those standards that you want? You want X, Y and Z, But are you that?
Because I'm sure that the person that wants to be with you may be also looking for X, Y and Z. Can you provide those things? Can you be even if a man is looking even if a woman is looking for this millionaire that's like this and all these great things that he comes from a good family, what do you think that man is looking for. Let's work on ourselves before we start requesting and asking all types of crazy things from other people that are coming into our lives.
Okay, let's be.
A little bit more realistic with these values and high standards and not miss out on good opportunities and the right people in our lives going crazy.
If you agree or disagree, just go ahead and let me know. I want to know.
All you have to the do is go to the YouTube channel, search for micro through the podcast and just write exactly a mata And when you see the episode, give me all your comments because I'll be there to listen to them. And obviously go and follow me on social media, specifically on Instagram at Amada al amada A l end like I always say thank you, thank you so much for being part of exactly Amana because I
am here because of y'all. And this has been a production of ihearts micro through that podcast network.
For more podcasts from iHeart, visit the iHeartRadio app.
Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite show.
See ya,