Welcome to the show. I am your girl, Amada la Negra, and you're listening to exactly Amada.
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Me how I can improve, Tell me how you connect with my experiences with our guest. Tell me everything I want to know everything. Today we're talking about embracing your confidence. You know, stop second guesting yourself. And I know that we've all done it, been there, done that, But I wanted today to be more of a motivational, inspirational conversation because I've gone through so many things in my own personal life. I'm not perfect. I'm far from being perfect.
There is no part of my life that's perfect. You guys, get to somewhat somewhat seeing my life on TV, see
my life being exposed on social media. You get to see so many things of me, but at the same time, you may not always see the occasions where my confidence is low, where I'm not always that strong empowered woman, where I'm not always confident about my body and my curves, where I'm not always confident about you know, the decisions I make with my love life, with my career as a mother, etc. So I just want to take a moment and talk about, you know, what it is to
embrace your confidence. Where are you going in life? How can you empower yourself? How can you break those cycles of self doubt? You know, trusting your instinct, living your best life, and enjoying the journey, because no matter how hard or how tough things are, the most important part is to enjoy the journey with the good, with the bad,
with all that it comes. Go through the motions of it, go through the motions of living the experience, whether it is good, whether it's bading for that, because there's always a lesson to be learned in the process of things. And the first thing is, let's identify what second guest seeing actually is. It's that little boys in your hand that creeps in every every so often whenever you have
to make a real important decision or take action. That's telling you don't do it, you're not good enough, you know, think about it, there's competition. What about if you fail? What about it? It's the what about if? That's really what it is to me, right, that second guess of
what about? If things haven't even happened already, and you're already second guessing yourself and doubting yourself and looking at all the chances that you have of failing, and how things are not going to come through for you, and how you may not have the abilities to make something happen, whether it is you know, something that requires your physical your physical or your mental or financial or whatever decision it may be.
That's truly what it is.
It's that that voice that creeps in even while you're sleeping, even in the middle of silence. That's really important to understand what that voice is because you have to fight it. You have to fight that internal voice that tells you that you can't make something happen, because honestly, most dreams and a lot of opportunities don't actually happen for you because before it even happens, you're already questioning why, why
it's not going to happen for you, AVEU. Sometimes in life you have to just throw yourself and do it. Whether you do it right, whether you do it wrong, at least you had the guts to make it happen. Just go out there and do it. And like I say, if you fail, if it doesn't work out, at least you can say you tried. Do you get where I'm coming from, Midah. The first step into conquering self doubt
is self awareness. It's important to know your surroundings, to know your body, to know yourself, to know also that instinct, that voice so important that you have to be aware of when it's really that you're not able to do something or when it's just your brain telling you you can't do something right. Start by acknowledging when your second guessing yourself is the most important thing. It is crucial
to recognize those moments. And you know what I've even said, sometimes your biggest enemy could even be your friend, and it can also be your best friend too. But if there's I know of a lot of situations that I've been where I've you know, have self doubt of you know, can I make this happen?
Will this work out?
And the first thing you do is tell you tell a friend or maybe even tell a family member, and those could be the first ones to tell you how everything is not going to work out for you. Just because it didn't work out for you, it doesn't mean that it's not going to work out for me. And sometimes all you need is that motivation, those words of encouragement, someone to just be like, you know what that come on, push through?
Ooh you got this, those.
Words of motivations. We feed off each other, We feed off each other's energy. So being around people who doesn't have who don't have anything positive to say, who don't have anything to add value to your dreams, goals and aspiration is your first que now. I know this. Sometimes for example, if you've never gone to school and you're like, oh my god, tomorrow I want to be an astronaut.
Okay, no, that's not gonna work. And that's not me being a hater.
That's not me saying, you know, trying to defeat your dreams and goals and aspiration. No. But there's certain things that require certain you know, tools, there's certain steps you have to take. I get that part, But it's not so much about saying no. That's not gonna happen. It's more about what can we do to make that work? And yes, a lot of dreams are very ambitious and are very big, but it's more about it's not that you can't make it happen, it's how can we make
it happen? What can we do to make it happen? And if you can't do it yourself, who can we call? Who has the not who can we reach out to? Who can we learn from? Who can I ask questions? What video can I watch? What number can I call? It's more about finding the route to the solution to the problem instead of automatically finding all the reasons why
it's not going to work. Does that make sense because I'm a big fan of that, Like whenever something comes, a project comes to me or whatever, or I want to make a business decision. Even when I started my real estate I had never done that. My mom never taught me, I didn't have anybody around me. It was more about like, I don't know how to do this. I don't have good credit. I've never bought anything, I don't have a credit card, I've never even done my taxes.
Well back then, I don't know how to go about it. I know what the end goal is, I know what my vision is. I know what I want to accomplish. Now my question is how do I get there? That is the question, how do you get there? So getting there if you have no help or no resources is let's find out who has accomplished the mission that I want to accomplish. And in many occasions there might not even be anybody. You may be the first one in the history of life to try something, and that's okay too,
but there has to be some guidance towards that. You know, whether you're out here watching videos on YouTube, following pages on Instagram where there's a lot of free help and motivation and all these other you know, people who have done things in life who are willing to give you know, free tips and points when whatever it, baby, let's not say no, it's not gonna happen.
Let's not say no that's not gonna work.
Let's figure out how to make it happen and how to get there. Remember that it's okay to doubt yourself by at the end of the day, because we were none of us is perfect. We all question ourselves and our capability of accomplishing things in life because we really don't know what we got inside of us and how far we can go till we have no other option but to get there.
Does that make sense? So you know, it's okay to diet yourself.
But it's not okay to let that control you, to let that stop you from accomplishing your goals and dreams and aspiration. Self awareness is the key to knowing when those doubts are trying to take over your decision, and that's what you can allow to happen. Now, let's also talk about building your confidence. And confidence is the ultimate weapon against you know, second guessing, and it's something that we all do at some point.
In life, you know. But with that being said, you have to build yourself up.
In many occasions, you're waiting for somebody else to come tell you that you're capable of doing this, that you're amazing, that you're smart, that you're this, and you're oh, you look at the way the scene. Nobody, nobody is going to tell you what you need to hear besides yourself.
Yes, your mother can motivate you.
Yes, your sister, your brother, your cousin, your girlfriend, your boyfriend, whatever, they can tell you how great you are, but no one can make you believe it besides yourself. Only you have the power and the control to believe in yourself.
And sometimes that comes from looking at yourself in the mirror, in the bathroom, by yourself, talking to yourself, having a moment for yourself, if you're in your car, and maybe in your car is your happy place, like it is for me, and many occasions where I cry, I talk to myself, I motivate myself, I question myself, whatever it is. The most important thing that I've noticed about successful people is that they have a very strong connection with themselves.
They're very in tune with themselves, and that is being able to become your best friend, being able to inspire and motivate yourself, being able to hype yourself up, hype yourself up, tell yourself how amazing you are, how good you look, how confident you really are, how unique you are, how powerful and how capable you are, How God has brought you and sent you into this world to make a difference. You were born with the talent, with a
a capability that nobody else has. You know, and if somebody else has it, they can't do it in the way that you can, because that's the amazing thing about how there's eight billion human beings on this planet, but.
We're all different.
So only you have the power to look at yourself and be like, you know what, you got this? Come on, now, you got this. You're powerful, You're capable. I trust in you, I believe in you. You got to build your own confidence. And I'll tell you something else that does help me, because I'm not gonna lie.
Sometimes we need a little bit of extra help.
And extra help can come from taking therapy if you really feel that you have to take it there, and an extra help when you financially aren't there and you don't know what.
Resources to reach out to to build you up and help you out.
The simplest thing that helped me push through during COVID during the pandemic was motivational apps. This app called Motivation and I hear it in my car while I'm driving whenever I'm down or whenever I feel like I need that extra boost because I do many jobs. I'm currently doing the Dancing with the Stars, you know, the Latin franchise, and that is taking a toll on my body. My feet are sore, they're swollen, my body hurts is aching, but that doesn't stop me from getting up and going
every day to my rehearsals. I'm doing, you know, another show called Mables, and that took a lot of time on my day.
I'm doing love and hip hop right now.
I have my podcast exactly, I have my Eternal Beauty by a Moto cosmetic and beauty line. I have my children's book, I have my girls stuff. I have two babies under two. I have so much going on my real estate. I have so much going on that I don't even know how I do it sometimes, and I'm not perfect. I wake up some days that all I want to do is cry because I don't have any time for myself. All I want to do is lay
down in bed. I don't want to work anymore. I'm exhausted, like I'm only but human, and I'm also young, you know. I want to go out and have fun. I want to travel. I want to do all those things with my friends, and I barely have time for friends. And even my friends, a lot of them have left me, are gone about and do their own thing, or have felt some type of way me because I'm never there to you know, hang out and be part of them.
But something I also learned from Michael Jordan was that in order to become successful, you have to become selfish. And I know that that sounds terrible to each his own, but you have to become selfish with your time. You have to become selfish with your focus. You have to become selfish with your drive. You have to become selfish with your body. That means that sometimes you can't eat
certain things. Sometimes you can't go out. Sometimes, you know what, I can't hang out because tonight I need to focus on my vision or my goal, on my dream or my aspiration. I need to put in that work today. Today I can't go out. I can be with my boyfriend, I can be with my girlfriend.
I can't.
You have to learn in many occasions that in order to become successful, that in order to accomplish your dreams, that in order to do whatever it is, you have to become selfish. You have to become driven, you have to become so focused, so like zombie mode, like like vision, tonal vision. And I know that is very hard, because that's why I feel like in life, we're not all meant to be successful. We're not all meant to be bossed. Some of us have to become employees, and that's just
you know, the way of life. We all could have it, but we don't all have it because that's part of a sacrifice that you have to do when you want to become you know, successful, and when you want to be able to achieve those goals and dreams, and part of becoming you know selfish with yourself is that confidence that you have to have, that confidence that you have to build within yourself up how amazing and powerful you are that you're going to sacrifice anything and everything you
have to in order to succeed and accomplish that goal. Does that make sense? Come on now, let me keep preaching. Also, something that's very important is just trying to set up small, small steps towards those goals. Also, understand that it's not going to happen overnight, right, You have to be grateful for the small victories, even if it's the small victory as of like I'm going to wake up every day at five o'clock in the morning.
If you have been able to accomplish that, that.
Alone should make you feel like I am working towards the right direction.
Don't think that things are gonna happen zero to a thousand.
Take baby steps towards whatever goal it is, even if it's for your body. You know what, I want to lose twenty pounds. But if you're willing to wake up every day and at some point in your day, I don't believe in I don't.
Believe in rules and regulations.
Whether it is that you work out in the morning, you work out in the afternoon, or you work out at night before.
You go to sleep.
The fact that you actually accomplish the goal of doing it, that alone should make you feel I am working myself towards the right direction. The smallest thing of like I am not going to eat that cookie, I'm not eating that bread. The fact that you didn't eat it should make you feel proud of yourself. Give yourself props. You know, don't beat yourself up so hard because that will really
destroy your motivation, That will really destroy your confidence. Little things start start that the small things that you accomplished, cleaning your room, organizing your office, your car, you're this your that you know, signing yourself up for a class. But my thing is whatever it may be. Give yourself props for the smaller accomplishments that you that you've accounted. Don't think that because you didn't become For example, I love Beyonce, Can I become Beyonce tomorrow? No? You know
why because it takes years of dedication of discipline. Besides talent, obviously, but in many occasions, let's also talk about that talent is a beautiful thing, but also discipline.
Your work ethic can sometimes destroy talent.
There's a lot of talented people out there that haven't been able to make it because they're not disciplined, because they don't have to work ethic because of many things. But those that do may not be as talented, but will be able to accomplish all those things. Do you get what I'm saying. Good. All I'm saying is keep pushing and give yourself props for the things that you've accomplished.
All that goes, likee is surround yourself by people that encourage you, by people that boost up your confidence, by people that believe in you, by people that give you. You know what, here's a tip. Even your friends, the smallest little thing. If you have a business and your friends are posting you supporting you, that's the type of people
you have to be around. If you will have an idea concept and your friend all of a sudden decides to dm you something related to the you know, the concept, the thing that you're trying to accomplish.
Be thankful for that person in your life. You need people like that.
If you have people around you, they're full of negativity and telling you all the time why you're not going to accomplish that and why you should stop, and trying to distract you while they know that you're being focused on something and like, let's say, you know what, tonight, I can't leave because I'm studying. I'm studying and I'm doing this, And they're like, no, let's go out.
May you can do it tomorrow. You you don't need that type of people.
You need the type of friends and the type of family and the type of boyfriend, girlfriendor whoever it may be. That's like, you know what, I respect that you know. If you can't do it tonight, we'll do it in another occasion. How can I help you? Do you need me? Do you need me to help you with something? How can I be there for you? Because as much as we want people to be there for us, we also have to be that friend and be that person for somebody else. Shout out, Let me preach is not just
about you. By the way, the same way that you want somebody to be there for you, please remember to be that same positive energy for somebody else. Okay, it could be the smallest little thing, the smallest little thing, just to let that person know that you are rooting for them.
We need that.
There's nothing more that can kill your confidence, your drive, your your self, love, your everything, that can even put even more doubt in your mind and your body and your spirit and your soul than having a family member, a girlfriend or boyfriend, a friend, or whoever the heck it may be telling you consistently why that's not going to work. Hi, ass, so I know, don't do it. What are you talking about? That's not going to work.
You don't have the money, you're not smart enough, you don't have the body, you don't have it though, you know, Oh yeah, leave me alone.
You know why? Because you have to think about it this way. God or the universe.
Puts things in your mind and puts visions in your mind that are meant for you to be able to accomplish. If you feel that you want to do something or that you can do something. That idea and that concept was only put in your mind for a reason. Now it's up to you to be willing to work your butt off to make it happen, whether you're capable of doing it right now or five ten years from now. But that vision was put in your mind for you
because you are able to accomplish it. So if you feel that there is something that you can do but you don't know how to do it or you're scared to do it, trust me, you can do it. That's why that idea, that vision was meant and sent only exclusivity just for you. So stop doubting yourself. And sometimes you just have to take a deep breath and remind yourself that it's okay to make mistakes. That that's part of growth. That you can become better and you become
better through experiences. You become better through challenges. You become better through going through hard moments in life. You only know how tough and how strong you are in life when everything goes wrong. When everything goes wrong, you become creative. You figure out other avenues, other ways to go around a situation, come out of your comfort zone. If you're in a space where you're too comfortable, where you've been in this space for years now, and there's no growth,
there's no evolution to your life. That is a bad sign. You have become comfortable, you have become complacent. No force yourself and to see how great you really can be, how great can you become? But in order for that to happen, you have to be in an uncomfortable space. And that is okay too. It's okay be in a space where you feel awkward, where you feel like this is too much. I don't know what I'm doing. I don't in that space of it, I don't know what
I'm doing. That's when you become great. You become great when you don't know what you're doing, because you will figure out what to do. You become great when you're at your lowest point. You know why, because if you're already in the bottom, you can't go any further down. The only other option you have is to figure out a way how to get up and how to become great. If you have a business and your business has failed, don't feel that that's.
The end of it.
You're not. You haven't failed because you've learned how not to repeat that.
That you did.
You know what I'm saying, don't be afraid to knock on doors and ask for helping opportunities. That's another that's another big issue, being afraid to ask for help. Why who said that you're perfect? Who said that anybody's perfect? The biggest companies, the biggest millionaires, have a whole crew, have a whole team of people helping them. So what makes you think that you can't ask for help. Knock on doors, ask for help. Sometimes people are willing to
help you and you don't even know it. Exercising, having a good balanced diet, having enough sleep, you know, helps you have a healthier mindset, and that's super and extremely important. Even meditating is a great powerful tool in order to becoming successful and building up your confidence and all the things you want to accomplish, you know.
Sleep on it.
You can't expect to be partying and having a good time out and about if you don't take time to take care of your body, your mental health, your mental peace. There's no way you'll be able to accomplish all those things. Anyways.
I don't mean to be your mom. I don't mean to you know, do too much but I do mean.
To preach, motivate you, inspire you here on exactly A matter, because sometimes all you need is the same conversation. Sometimes you just need to hear it from somebody else to remind you how great you really are. Remember that these strategies are here to help you and stop you from second guessing yourself and start, you know, unleashing your confidence.
Self doubt may be familiar, you know, obviously we've all been there, done that, but it doesn't mean that that's the the life you shall live, that that's the end of your journey. It is only but the beginning. Use the challenges that you've experienced in life to help you accomplish those things and that you've always dreamed of. You know, don't let the self doubt stop you. Whatever it is that you're going through right now, just know this part of your journey, but it's not the end.
Man.
Listen. If I've been able to inspire at least one of you with this episode, I feel like I accomplished my mission. But that being said, once again, thank you guys so much for being part of Exactly a MA, for being part of this journey of mine, for supporting me, for listening for you know, giving me those amazing reviews, those five stars, all that good stuff.
Thank you guys, so so so much, because I do this with so much. It's love for you guys.
I dedicate myself into, you know, doing things that can be impactful to my community, to Microduda and that's why I also want to make sure that you go find me on YouTube and catch the show by searching micro through that podcast on YouTube and clicking on exactly Amata. And obviously I always say it m on me hinte. You know that social media is everything. Go follow me on Instagram, am Al and Amada la Al. And remember that this has been a production of Ihearts microL through that podcast network.
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This has been exactly Amada