11 mars 2015

ACAST powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend. We're reconsidering everything right now. What is time post-COVID? What is truth in Trump's America? Is You've Got Mail secretly a movie about a creepy gaslighting stalker? We can't answer the first two questions, but we have opinions about the third. We on Hot and Bothered are revisiting romance movies of the past and asking, what were these movies teaching us? What did we not even realize they were teaching us?

Hot and Bothered is me, Vanessa Zoltan, a pop culture critic and nice lady with opinions, and Hannah McGregor, a bona fide professor of media studies. Loving love stories and also just a little bit concerned. Come listen to Hot and Bothered. Acast helps creators launch, grow, and monetize their podcasts everywhere.

Bonjour, je suis Agathe Lecaron. Bienvenue dans Les Rescapés, le podcast qui vous parle de ces gens qui ont vécu une déflagration dans leur vie, qui a signé la fin de leur vie d'avant et conditionné leur destin. Nos témoins sont des survivants. Ils auraient pu sombrer, mais la fracture qu'ils ont vécue a parfois donné du sens à leur vie, ont révélé une partie d'eux-mêmes qui serait certainement restée endormie. Aussi difficile que fut l'épreuve,

They came to have a life with a new eye. Because we have only one life, the one we live. Because we can't do anything against the struggles. How to manage the past? Comment vivre cette renaissance pour qu'elle ne soit pas une petite mort ? N'oubliez pas, la vie a toujours plus d'imagination que nous. Je m'appelle Julie. Before, I was the person who wanted me to be. And since the 11th March 2015, I am a rescapée. I grew up in a family context a bit complicated.

My parents separated me when I was six years old. They were both buyers. They had a bar tabac in the South of France. When they separated, we remained in the South of France with my mom. who, she then, met a man with who she is always. They make soon their 30 years of marriage. And with whom they had a little boy, my brother, with whom I'm 13 years old. I'm a lot of refuge in the drawing.

because it's my way to evade. And I also focus a lot in the studies. I'm a lot of attention, I study a lot, because I want to be reproachable in front of my mom. who traversed already a difficult period with my dad, so I wanted to have no problem with me. So I worked well at school and I had this super creative side. I was born in knowing how to draw. And so I draw a lot since I was little. In fact, I had a lot of facilitation at school. My mom and my father wanted really the best for me.

It's true that they push me a lot into the studies, because I have the skills, which are not innate skills, because I have to work a lot. But I'm a person who works well at school. So my family, they're people who are ouvriers. My mom was a coiffeuse. When I met my beau-père, she was a job for a long time. Then she became an attorney in a clinic. And then she made a validation of the acquis until she became aides-soignants today.

And my father, he was brancardier, and then he became ambulancier. So it's true that they've always got a little bit in their lives, and they aspired really the best for me, which I have these facilities at school. And so I do a degree of science, then I start...

in Oceanology, in Marseille. And it's there that I started a little to lose, because I had to be concrete, I think, a little bit in my life. I have to be concrete. I've always wanted to make a pleasure to my parents, but at the end, I was an artist. And in real, what I liked to do, it was the beaux arts. Sauf that my parents, for them...

To be an artist, there was one on I don't know how many who came out of the field and would be able to work in the artistic environment. So for them, I had to assure my arrière. Well, what I'm passionate about the creative and artistic side is really the drawing. And after that, it's materialized by the art of tattooing. My mother and my father are both tattooed.

And in fact, I was a tattooist. But it's true that at the time, in the years 2000, it was not enough to be democratized. And for them, it was not the way that I had to take. So I'm not a tattooist. And after the fac of Océano, after the fac of OG, I do a BTS profession immobilière in alternance.

I started my job of promotion, so I made a degree of droit and then I made a Master 1 and Master 2 of droit immobilier in the evening. The day I worked in an administrative office and the evening I studied to have at least Bac plus 5. and then start my adult life. At 25 years old, I'm a cadre. I manage a team of 8 people. Only, I'm not exhausted in my work because I'm missing this artistic side. That's what I most liked in my work, because I manage the French institution institution.

What I liked the most was that I had to take care of the renovation of the goods of this patrimony. Because there I could put a little bit of my creativity. So in parallel to this work that was very legal. The problem is that there is a lot of conflict. Because when we explain the right, and especially the right immobilist, the immobilist is something that touches intrinsically.

to what belongs to people, to the money of people. So it can make it very violent and very nervous. So I knew that I wouldn't do that all my life, because to deal with conflict like that, I didn't aspire to that for always. Even if my job, I do passionately. Sauf that I didn't know when or how I would change. Because one thing was sure, it was that I was in CDI at this moment, I had a very good salary.

It's difficult to say, okay, I'll do everything and I'll do something else. Sauf that in fact, the years, they're moving. They're moving, they're moving. And until one day, there's a pile that falls on the head. And that's what happened to me at the age of 27.

So I'm in January 2015, and I have a mnohymotechnical technique that I was given by my mom, it's that since I was little, I do a health check-up. So I'm going to see my generalist, I'm going to take a shot, I'm going to see my gynéco, I'm going to see my dentist and my ophthalmo, basic. But my mom always tells me... You have to be active in your health. That's the basis. So in January, I do that. In January 2015, I go to my gynéco. And I feel a little bubble in my face. Three weeks after.

In putting my support in the gorge, I feel something that's going on the passage of the whale. And so there, I touch, I palpe, and I realize that in fact, I have a big bowl, and it's not small. And I think that at that moment, I had to have a good star on my head. I called and said, I'm a doctor doctor, I'm 27 years old.

And I have an enormous ball in the head. He had three weeks, he had seen a small ball. And there, really, it's very gross. Is that I can take a meeting with him? And there, the lady at the phone said, yes, come on tomorrow at 8am. So I go to my gynéco.

He muscule de nouveau et il me dit, effectivement, ce n'est pas du tout le même examen qu'il y a trois semaines. On va faire un examen plus complet des seins. Donc là, le médecin, je repars avec cette ordonnance. Je commence un peu à avoir le trouillomètre qui monte. Mais je reste confiante. Je suis quelqu'un d'assez...

optimiste, en fait, je pense, de nature. Donc je vais toute seule à ce rendez-vous. Et là, c'est un peu lunaire au départ, parce que la dame, elle me dit « Ok, il y a écrit mammographie, échographie, bon, de ce que je lis, parce qu'on vous fait remplir un questionnaire. »

Because I read, you have 27 years, there's not at all of an antecedent in your family, there's very few chances that this is grave, we're not going to send you a rayon for nothing, we're going to make an echo. At the moment, I'm going to say, yes, I'm going to write my words, but I'm going to do it. I don't negotiate, I trust the lady. So I'm in the room, we make an echo. And then I'm on a radiologist, it's a woman. And so she starts the exam.

And she insisted. Franchement, the exam, for an echographic, it took a lot of time. And she said, well, you have still time in front of you this morning. And I said, yes.

I said, in any case, I'm going to take it. She said, because we're going to do the mammo. And as the lady to the accueil told me, you're young, patati patata, there's no reason, we're not going to do the rayon for nothing. There, when she told me, we're going to do the mammo, I'm going to have the triumetre which is more and more.

So she tells me, she tells me, I'm going to give you an echo because you are young, you have the teeth very dense. I don't see anything at all, I'm going to give you an echo. And she tells me, is that you have still a little time? And I said, I'm going to take the time, don't worry about it, I'll explain. She said, because we're going to do a biopsy immediately. And that also, with the recul, it's a chance. Because normally, all these exams, at every time, it's a week in the middle. Minimum.

So there she takes me charge immediately. And in fact, she gives me a nurse and a intern. And she gives me a biopsy. And it's true that at this point, I had a meeting this weekend at Mondial for me to do my first big piece on the left. And so I didn't have that in mind. So I had a shower, I went to the vestiaire, I'm going to wear it, all that. I call my ex-compagnon and in fact, he was in the middle of the building.

He had a bad feeling, and in fact, he was in the middle of the building, and he was there, so he had to come up right away and support me, because there I realized that there was still something happening. Even if I was optimistic and I didn't pronounce the word, she didn't say something super optimistic. For her, it wasn't good for her.

So it was a bit of a shower. I take my mind, all that. I'm going to work, I'm going to see my boss, I explain. And in the evening, I take my plane and I'm going to Paris. And so I'm doing my weekend, I'm doing my tattoo, as it was planned. When I arrive at Paris, in fact, I'm going to sleep with an amie who's waiting, who had planned a great day at Paradis Latin. It was the beginning of Uber, the chauffeur.

And she said, I'm going to command a car. For me, it was like, wow. After what we had done this morning, it was kind of crazy. I'm going to Paris. There's my friend, she's going to command a car. We're going to the Paradis Latin. We're going to have a great day. And I'm going to do my weekend.

Bon, il se trouve que je reste à Paris jusqu'au mercredi. De toute façon, le temps d'avoir les résultats des examens, tout est long. Donc, ce qui se passe, c'est que là, encore une fois, ma bonne étoile, mon ami chez qui je vais. En fait, elle a sa tante qui est cadre au CHU de Nice. Donc, quand je explique ce qui m'arrive après notre soirée, je lui dis, écoute, Andin, il faut que je te dise, voilà, on m'a fait une biopsie dans le sein.

Apparently, the doctor told me that it's not bad. So she told me, wait, I called my aunt. She called her aunt. She said, my aunt Julie, she said, she said, she said, she said, she said, she said, she said, she said, she said, she said. And so, her aunt, she takes my name, my name, my date of birth, and everything. And she arrives quickly to see the results. What happens is that, the lundi, I'm still in Paris.

I'm in the metro, I receive a phone call from the center of cancer, in fact, for me to give a rendezvous. But at this point, I'm not aware of it. I didn't say anything. He didn't say, it's a cancer, in fact. Just, I received a call of a phone. He said, hello, it's the center anti-cancer. And then I said, what? And he said, yes, I call you for your rendezvous. I said, but why a rendezvous at you?

She said, but we didn't call her, we didn't tell her, we didn't tell her. And then I said, but why are you talking about it? And then it's cut. The story never tells me if it was the metro, because I was in the metro and at the time it wasn't even in the metro.

Si elle s'est rendue compte qu'elle avait fait une boulette et qu'elle ne savait pas comment se sortir, elle a raccroché. J'essaie de rappeler, évidemment, personne ne répond. J'appelle mon gynéco, j'essaie de la voir, sa secrétaire a dit qu'il n'est pas dispo, qu'il va me rappeler, qu'il va me rappeler. Et en fait, c'est comme ça.

And it's not bad, I'm a combatant. I've continued my journey. So like I was on the Champs of Mars and that bizarrely, I had 27 years but that I was never on the Tour Eiffel. I say, okay, you're there, you look at The Crow because your makeup is going on, but it's not bad. I think at Paris, we've seen worse. Go to the Eiffel. Well, on the Eiffel, you've never done it.

So I'm on the tour Eiffel, I look, I do tourism, I take a bit of my mind, I love my mind. And then I return to my friend and we continue to celebrate. I try to change ideas. Et le mercredi, je rentre à Nice par l'avion. Et là, je me souviens que dans ma tête, je voyais le tarmac se rapprocher. Je vois que ce tarmac est de plus en plus proche, de plus en plus proche. Et je me dis que j'atterris dans une nouvelle vie, en fait. Une vie qui ne va plus du tout être pareille.

Tous les signaux sont pour dire qu'il ne m'attend pas que des bonnes nouvelles. At that moment, my auntie, who I was at Paris, managed to have a meeting with a doctor at the CHU of Nice. It's a doctor, at that moment, who has maybe four years or more than me. She's a very young doctor.

All of a sudden, I don't know, there's a connection between her and me, and she tells me, Julie, I have a good and a bad news. And she tells me, I'm going to start with which? I said, well, I think, as usual, we start with the bad news, at least like that, the good news. Elle rattrapera le reste, quoi. Et elle me dit, bon, en fait, vous avez bien un cancer. Vous avez un cancer du sein. Mais la bonne nouvelle, c'est qu'on va pouvoir le traiter.

And I said, well, okay. Well, already, the fact that she says that, I don't know. I listen to it. I said, okay, very well. And then the first question that comes to me is, okay, but I'm going to lose my hair. She looks a little with astonishment, and she says, well, it depends on the following protocol. And the second question, it was, do you think I'm going to go out?

And then she told me that it's a question to which I can't answer because it will also depend on how you will respond to treatment. That I can't tell you all right. We have to start with the treatment as quickly as possible. And at this moment, in advance, I can maybe answer this question. So, there it is the meteorite which falls on the top. So, for the coup, I explode a little, I'm going to pleuse.

I decided to go to see my mom and my father on the weekend, to announce it because I didn't want to tell them at the phone. I grew up in making sure to never make any pain to my mother or to never make any pain because she had so much with my dad. For me, my mother, it was the person who wanted me to protect. So I'm going to announce that I have cancer, but without ever pronouncing the word cancer. I'm going to say, well, mom, effectivement, the results are not good.

I'm going to have a treatment of chemotherapy, I'm going to have an operation, I'm going to have a radiotherapy. But I explain all the protocols and I never say that I have a cancer. My mother has been an incredible rock. She looks like this and says, don't worry, we've already beaten you and me, we've beaten very strong. It's just that she decided like this, that we were Amazon.

And we're going to continue to fight together. And by the way, I'll be there from the beginning to the end. I'll accompany you.

Now that once everything is posed and everyone is concerned, I put what we call a catheter sous-cutané. And there it is very quickly. So I do my first chemotherapy in April 2015. So I put myself in a classic protocol for the cancer. But it comes back to me that I have a very aggressive tumor, so I have a... Cancer du sein, HER2 positif amplifié. Il faut savoir qu'il existe deux cancers du sein très graves et très agressifs. C'est le triple négatif et le HER2 positif.

So obviously I'm on one of the most serious ones. But again, thanks to my good star, at the time my mom told me, Julie, you're at Nice. At Nice, there is a center Unicancer, in fact. There is one of the best centers. There are a certain number of centers Unicancer. Unicancer, it's the reference in the research against cancer in France and Europe. You have a center at Nice who is Unicancer. So I quit this doctor who was super nice, but she told me, I've done my arms there, there's no worries.

So I arrive in this centre and I put an oncologist who is great. He's my living god. He doesn't like it when I say it, but it's true. He's great and above all, he's got the last technologies at the point. He told me, you don't respond enough to a classic protocol, we're going to put you in a clinical protocol. And there, coup de massue. Because for me, an essay clinic, it's kind of the last chance.

And he said, don't worry about it, it's not at all negative or pejorative. In fact, you have a type of cancer who is very aggressive. And in fact, we know the treatment very well for 10 years in the Atlantic. Seulement, on a mis 10 ans à importer et avoir les autorisations pour pouvoir avoir ces molécules-là en France. Et là, on est en fin de recrutement de l'essai clinique qui importe ces molécules, qui était le trastuzumab et pertuzumab. Et aujourd'hui, il faut savoir que c'est le traitement.

who is given to people who are treated for a cancer of the skin like I have, a HER2 positive amplified. I think that the jury who is in me comes back. I read the protocol in whole and in fact, it was crazy. There was a secondaire of the protocol, it was the death. I had never seen it in a medical notice. And so I called it and said, doctor, but in fact, I don't want to do it. I don't want to do it.

The second effects in the protocol are crazy. In fact, it's not possible. And he told me, Julie, make me trust. He told me, you know, it's like for all drugs. In a notice, we have to write everything that happened. Dans le protocole d'essai clinique, on a été obligé de noter jusqu'à présent tout ce qui s'est passé depuis que ce protocole existe et qu'il a été mis en place. Il y a eu tels effets secondaires, mais ça ne veut pas dire que vous les aurez.

Donc bon, j'entame ce protocole. Je le fais confiance à mon oncologue. Donc je commande ce premier cycle et tout. Je perds mes cheveux au bout de 21 jours.

He told me 21 days, the 21st day of my birthday, the 28th of April, my hair fell. I found resources for survival. It's something that we all know and that we don't know necessarily. But I think that any person living on this planet has it in him. It's the instinct of survival. And after a month of mourning, when we announced the disease...

I thought, I have to deal with all that. That's where it is, it's part of my life. Now, I have to deal with all that. At that time, I was registered at the art school. And that, it helped me, in fact, to go ahead. Because I thought, okay, I don't know if I'm going to release all these stories. But on the other hand, I want to live everything that I haven't even had the time to live. And what's true is that if I release all these stories...

But in fact, I'm going to live the life that I dreamt, and I'm going to live the life that I dreamt for myself. I made the right because my parents were going to get tattooed. So I'm going to take the school of art. I'm going to buy a tattoo machine. I'm going to say, okay, at the end of all this, in two years, because I had 24 months of injury, 18 months of treatment and 6 months of recovery, I'll be tattooed in a way.

I'm going to school art, I'm going to buy this machine, I'm going to buy some citron, I'm going to buy some silicone and so on. Sauf that after four months of school, the chimios are in my concentration and I don't get into it. Because my speciality, it was really a real design. And I couldn't focus on an object to be able to draw the details. So, instead of feeling a mistake, I stopped. And so, I was put in writing at this moment.

In fact, I make a little list in saying, okay, I don't know if I'm going to get rid of all this, but there are plenty of dreams to accomplish, so I'm going to live everything I haven't had time to live, and everything I want to do, I'm going to do it. So I had to create a blog at the time, but it was the event of bloggers. There were not even influencers in 2015, or it was a niche.

Mais les blogueurs en avaient beaucoup et je ne voulais pas créer le blog de plus. Du coup, je me dis, bon ben là j'ai envie d'écrire et je vais créer un blog sur la gestion de la féminité et de l'identité. Et ce blog, comme il était assez nouveau...

he started to be a lot of followed by people who had traveled the same thing that I at this point, or who had been traversed by the past, and who came to give me anecdotes and all. And I, everything that I could repertorier to right, to right, to right, all along my treatments, I wrote in this blog. And in this blog, I was putting myself in scene. I was taking photos with a makeup, showing how to draw a line of hair, how to draw a line of hair when we didn't have any hair.

Because it's true that when we have no hair, no hair, no hair and no hair, whether it's a woman or a woman, whether it's 5 years old or 80 years old, frankly, we're all alike. And I thought it was super hard to reappropriate my identity, to get out of the head, to get out of the way.

Sans ça, sans qu'on puisse reconnaître quelque chose de physiologique sur moi, comme, je ne sais pas, une couleur de cheveux, ou une forme de sourcil, ou une longueur de cils. Donc, je commençais à répertorier un peu des artifices pour le faire.

And it's true that at the time, I had bought a purse, and I had a hard to wear it. In fact, I had a lot of turban on my head because I found out that the noise was a real therapeutic aspect when I found out the sensation of a coiffer. In addition to being an artist contrarian, I would say.

J'étais aussi une contrariée de la frange. C'est-à-dire que quand j'avais des cheveux, je n'avais jamais osé couper ma frange. Je ne voulais pas couper mes cheveux. Il n'y a que ma mère qui a le droit de me couper un centimètre tous les morts d'évoque. Du coup, j'avais des postiches à clip dans mes affaires.

And one day, I had the idea of glishing one of these postiches under my turban, because the turban with his shoes which is surpassed, there was a very stigmatization side. And then I found out, I said, oh, but it changed everything to have his shoes which surpasses my turban and all.

Mais bon, le problème, c'est que je ne pouvais pas clipper ces post-it. Je n'avais plus de cheveux, ça se clipe sur des cheveux. Avec l'aide de ma maman, je fais un prototype, en gros, d'une frange qui tient sur ma tête qui n'a pas de cheveux. Donc on avait mis ça sur un diadème.

which was not bad at the head and all, to put my frange and then put it on top of the accessoires that I wanted. And in fact, revelation, when I'm out of the street at this moment-là, everyone compliments me on my style. We say, I love your style and all. And frankly, when we have no hair, no hair, no hair, no hair.

It's a little bit to the ego and to the moral, when we take compliments like that, in the street, in the street, in the street, who are at years old. Imagine what we're going through, and imagine that we're completely hot under our turban. It helped me to keep my identity, to keep my moral. The moral was brought to the treatments. And the treatments, one day, were brought to the remission, and then one day, the guérison.

And at that moment, I put it in photo and then there are plenty of people who say it's great what you have on the head, you have everything, it's weird that it's all. And I was super excited because I made it for me at the beginning for my own comfort.

for my own gestion of this passage, of this parenthesis of my life. And I said at this moment, okay, in fact, if I leave all this story, I will create it for others. And it's what I do. So I finish this protocol. Then I have an operation where I remove half of the gland of my mother and the sentinel ganglions are under the right hand. The ganglions come sain to the napath.

I have a lot of chance because I have not had a mastectomy total. I have a mastectomy partiel, so I have a half of the blood of my mother. It's just that I learn to live with a completely asymmetric poitrine. With a 5, it's about two tailles, two moins, almost three even, than the other. But I'm telling you that I'm super well, the cicatrice is beautiful, compared to what it can be. Really, I...

And it's true that when I arrived in July 2016, after my radiotherapy, my immunotherapy, I started their monotherapy. Then I told myself, when I was in this room, a year ago, it was that I was going to arpenter absolutely everything. the festivals of the region of Var because I need to listen to music, I need to evade, I need to meet some people. I need to just do other things, the time to rebuild before thinking about my life after.

And so I finish my therapy at the beginning of July 2016. So I make my bag and I'm in, in fact. I'm in and I'm in the festival of the region of Duvar. C'est à ce moment-là, fin juillet 2016, que je fais la rencontre d'un garçon, alors que je n'aurais vraiment pas cru cet été-là faire une rencontre comme ça.

J'avais fait une année auparavant la rencontre du troisième type avec un cancer. Je ne pensais pas en un an et demi après rencontrer l'homme qui deviendra mon mari et puis un jour le père de mon enfant. At that moment, when I meet Anthony, who becomes my wife a few years later, I have one centimeter of my head on my head. And in fact, he tells me that at that moment, he doesn't see my smile. And it's true that at the moment where we met, we didn't miss who it was. So life is quite surprising.

At this point, I was in remission, so I'm still a little bit following, but a little less. And I started to have what we call the after-concer. I started to understand what they said when they said, well, after, it's not easy. Sometimes people, when they said that, they said...

Mais c'est des ovnis de dire ça, parce que moi, je ne m'en dis qu'une chose, c'est d'être dans l'après, en fait. Mais c'est vrai qu'une fois que j'y suis, je comprends que oui, c'est difficile parce qu'on est moins suivi et que d'un coup, ce méta brille au-dessus de votre tête la fameuse épée d'hermoclès.

and that from the morning to the morning and from the morning to the evening, we live like a post-traumatic syndrome. And we think about the cancer. When I wake up the morning, I think about the cancer. When I wake up the morning, I think about the day and it's terrible because...

Dès qu'on a une douleur, dès qu'on tousse, dès qu'on a quelque chose, tout de suite on pense à la maladie en se disant « Oh là là, j'espère que je ne récidive pas, j'espère que ce n'est pas une métastase, que ce n'est pas une chaussette sale du cancer qui traîne quelque part. » Je suis une personne. completely different. In fact, I think we don't come back, and I'm sorry to use this word, everyone is sure that I use this word, but the war is the feeling of entering a battle. I was in Guinea.

I would still have to do it as if nothing had happened. In fact, it was impossible for me. I did not have to take my job. I told my employer that I was sorry, but... that I was no longer able to be jurist in property immobilier like I did before with the passion and justness. I think that we never come back to the same. ... ... ... ... ... ...

But in fact, I have a desire to live my life. I understood that I had touched the doigt that it could fall down the day and the day. Until then, I was in the insouciance. This insouciance, it was missing. It was still missing today. I think it was still missing. I think I took... 30 ans de maturité avec cette histoire de cancer, mais en même temps, je me dis qu'elle m'a fait gagner beaucoup de temps dans la vie.

Du coup, je ne reprends pas mon travail, je ne redeviens pas juriste et je décide de créer mon entreprise. Mais je n'aurais jamais cru être entrepreneur dans ma vie, mais je n'avais plus peur de rien mis à voir que la maladie revienne. C'était les autres qui avaient peur pour moi.

Ma mère avait très peur. Elle me dit, mais t'es sûre ? T'as un bon job, t'es en CDI, tu as un bon salaire. Et en fait, je lui dis, mais maman, en fait, je pense qu'on est riches que de notre santé. Tant qu'on a la santé...

On peut tout recommencer. Elle me dit, c'est vrai ma chérie, en fait, t'as raison. Moi, ce que je veux, c'est que tu sois heureuse. Et si tu es heureuse dans ce projet d'entreprise, donc mon projet d'entreprise, ça a été les frangines. Ça a été de créer... mon système de franges, de turbans, thermorégulants, UV, de recréer des coiffures. J'ai remis ma casquette quand même de juriste, je me suis battue fort pour que mes coiffures soient prises en charge par la Sécurité sociale, ce qu'on a obtenu.

What I wanted was to be able to help all the people who traversed this parenthesis of cancer with chemotherapy, or... an allopécie, an allopécie, an allopécie, an allopécie, an allopécie, an allopécie, an allopécie, an allopécie, an allopécie, an allopécie, an allopécie, an allopécie For me, it was too difficult. Sortir show and everything, I didn't get it. So what I wanted, it was my little creation and finally my artistic side, I didn't put it in the tattoo.

Mais je l'ai mis dans la création de cette entreprise parce que j'ai créé des coupes, j'ai créé des couleurs, j'ai créé des formes de turbans, des formes de bonnets. J'ai quand même créé en fait quelque chose que je continue de créer pratiquement dix ans après maintenant. Cette entreprise est toujours là. Well, I'm not becoming tattooist. I'm a lot of tattooed. That, yes, it was. It was my way to reappropriate my body after this storm. It was my way to have a body change that I chose.

I didn't have chosen the disease, I didn't have chosen to lose my skin, I didn't have chosen to remove half of my skin, I didn't have chosen all that. However, the tattoos, the drawings that I make on the body, it's me who I chose. And today, it really helped me to get rid of my body. So today, I express this art like that. I have the body of more and more tattooed. I continue to draw, I paint. I also had a writing project.

J'ai eu la chance d'écrire un livre aux éditions Larousse à mes sœurs de combat pour poser mon histoire. Il est sorti en 2021. Et ce qui est juste extraordinaire dans toute cette histoire, parce qu'on arrive bientôt à la fin de mon histoire, c'est que... I close this book in which I write that in the disease, there are some stigmates who are visible. So, the loss of your feet, the loss of a member of his body, of an organe or something.

There are also stigmates who are invisibles, including the impossibility of being taken for a certain number of years, the infertility, the pain. And in fact, I explain that I have made a deuil, for example, for the maternity. that I did a lot of psychological work there-dessus. I didn't know if I wanted to be maman, but on the other hand, I would like to have the choice. So I wrote in my book that during my treatment, I made a stérilet because the medicine wasn't exactly exact.

We're not at the end of your daughter, even under chemotherapy. It's rare, but it can happen. Or under chemotherapy, only if they're not viable embryo. And it's going to be passed by an IVG. And already, when we live something difficult, we don't want to live that in more. So, we pose a moins contraceptive. Like I had a cancer 100% aceptorostrogène, it was hormonodependent. It's inconceivable that I have something hormonal.

So I put a stérilet to the end of my book. At the end of my book, it's time to remove this stérilet. And I wrote. I'm going to remove my contraception. But as I told myself that I had the chance to win a lot of money than to be in nature, I told myself that if one day I'm going to be mom... c'est que la nature en avait décidé ainsi, et si je ne le suis pas, c'est que je ne devais pas l'être, et c'est ok, je l'accepte. Et donc je termine mon livre, et je le ferme, il sort en janvier 2021.

And in May 2022, I have very bizarre symptoms. And I think, at this time, I have a recidive immediately, because I'm very fatigued, I have pain in a sein. it's hot, it's a little red, it's inflated, I'm not good. All of a sudden, I think to the cancer, I call my oncologist, I say, doctor, we need to program an IRM emergency, it doesn't go, it doesn't go, it doesn't go, I feel like I'm sick and all.

He gives me a rendezvous, he asks me to explain my symptoms. I tell him my symptoms. He says, before we do an IRM, we'll maybe do a test of grossness. And at that moment, I said, wait, it's not cool. I made a deal of all that. On m'a dit que j'avais autant de chances de gagner au loto que de tomber enceinte. Vraiment, là, le test de grossesse, je le sens pas. J'ai pas la tête à ça, quoi. Et il me dit, mais faites-moi confiance. Moi, je peux pas vous faire un IRM si je suis pas sûre. Et de là...

I did a test of sex and then it turned out that I was enceinte. There, it was a retro-pedalage. I had a deuil. I had to do the opposite direction. At this point, I'm going to take a therapy, because they told me that I wasn't a mom, so I was afraid of not being a good mom. I had a lot of trouble at this grossest, because I was thinking, it's too beautiful to be able to be. Is she going to hold? Is she going to hold? Is she going to hold? Is she going to hold?

So I have time to announce this girl. And my daughter is here and everyone is in good health. And now she has three and a half and we are always in very good health.

All. Today, regarding the disease, this year has been 10 years. It's been 10 years since I've been there. I'm always very engaged in the cause. My business is social and solid. We're mécènes of the research against cancer. Because it's a clinical study that has saved my life. My research needs to be found every day. It's maybe not a big thing. In 10 years, with the FANGI, we've reversed a little bit more than 40 000 euros for the research against cancer.

Mais c'est avec des petites briques qu'on fait des grands murs. Parce que voilà, tous les ans, j'ai mis un point d'honneur. Même que je suis une toute petite entreprise, qu'on est des minus, qu'on n'est que trois à faire avancer le petit bateau et tout. Mais j'ai toujours mis un point d'honneur à garder cet engagement-là. for research, for my sisters and my brothers of combat. Today, in 2025, she needs help more than ever. The cancer is much too present, much more and more.

And I think that we need to continue to support this research because I'm ultimately persuaded that in order to find out, we will end up finding. The sense that I found out that life is capable of doing worse and worse, it's not just a adage, it's the truth. And today she has proven it. It's been 10 years ago when I was sick. I couldn't believe in anything, I thought I was completely fucked up. And then, she came back to a point that I couldn't imagine.

When I met the man of my life, and we were married, and then there was a Frangine, and then there was a book, and then there was a baby. And we thought, what is it, and... The life is like that. It's in the sea. So it's vertigineux and it's a fear. And that's the teaching that I retire. Today, I think I'm completely aligned with myself. that I'm not hiding behind a person that I wanted to be and that I'm the person I wanted to be. Just simply.

So, in fact, my word of the end of all this story, if I had to have one, is an adage that I've brought for now for 10 years. It's an adage that I've brought to Philippe Croison, a sacred rescapé. After a long time, I told myself that it's impossible to heal, that it's impossible to entertain, that it's impossible to write a book or to write a book.

C'est impossible que tu aies un enfant, c'est impossible que tu empruntes. Tous ces gens, j'ai envie de dire ce que dit tout le temps Philippe Croison, l'impossible n'existe pas, parce que dans impossible, il y a possible. And I think I can't say the opposite. I'm the proof too. Just like him.

Cet entretien a été réalisé par Clémentine Delagrange et monté par Stéphane Bidard. Dites-moi tant que je vous tiens, je vous suggère d'aller écouter immédiatement mon nouveau podcast qui s'appelle Est-ce que c'est grave ? C'est un podcast pratique dans lequel on tente de répondre à toutes nos interrogations de parents avec les meilleurs spécialistes, avec Aurélie Calais en 1, Anna Roy, mais aussi des pédiates, des orthophonistes, des psychomotriciens et j'en passe.

That's called Est-ce-que-c'est-grave? And it's on all the podcast platforms gratuitly. ACAST powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend. Hello, hello. It's Brooke DeVard from Naked Beauty. Join me each week for unfiltered discussion about beauty trends, self-care journeys, wellness tips, and the products we absolutely love and cannot get enough of. If you are a skincare

obsessive and you spend 20 plus minutes on your skincare routine, this podcast is for you. Or if you're a newbie at the beginning of your skincare journey, you'll love this podcast as well because we go so much deeper than beauty. I talk to incredible and inspiring people from across You'll also hear from skincare experts. We break down lots of myths in the beauty industry. If this sounds like your thing, search for Naked Beauty on your podcast app and listen along. I hope you'll join us.

Acast helps creators launch, grow, and monetize their podcasts everywhere.