Who are we when we can't answer where we're from? Who are we when we can't locate ourselves on family trees or on familiar religious traditions or among genetic traits? How do we live after we thought what was true about our identity is totally upended? In this conversation, Kate speaks with writer Dani Shapiro about uncovering life-altering and long-hidden family secrets, what it means to belong, and what to do when the truth is… complicated. For show notes, transcripts, and discussion question...
Feb 23, 2021•40 min•Season 6Ep. 3
There are some people who see need and, rather than feeling stuck by the magnitude of the world's pain, they move toward it. Today's guest is one of those kinds of people. Father Greg Boyle has worked with former gang members in Los Angeles for over thirty years with Homeboy Industries, which employs and trains former gang members and offers free services to facilitate healing. In this conversation, Kate and Father Boyle discuss how living at the margins turns us inside out, how crucial hope is ...
Feb 16, 2021•40 min•Season 6Ep. 2
Today’s episode is all about love—the loves that constitute us, the loves that break our hearts, and the loves that keep us going. Actress, producer, and entertainer Priyanka Chopra Jonas is one of the most recognizable people in the world. In this episode, Kate and Priyanka discuss the places and people, loves and losses that make us who we are. Love that is big enough to break our hearts is the only kind worth having. CW: cancer, death of a parent For show notes, transcripts, and discussion qu...
Feb 09, 2021•35 min•Season 6Ep. 1
People love to pretend that there are simple formulas for living your best life. Now eat this and you won't get sick. Find that love and you'll never be lonely. Get that promotion and you won't feel like a failure to have that kid and you'll be fulfilled forever. Our culture tells us that we are the masters of our destiny until we aren't. Until a diagnosis or loss or global pandemic or divorce or transition sweeps over our lives and changes everything, then we realize there are some things you c...
Feb 09, 2021•3 min
How do you get through a terrible day? What should you not say to someone with cancer? What keeps you believing in God? We thought it might be fun to have you, dear listener, interview Kate for today’s episode. She offers gentle ideas for how to be a good friend to struggling loved ones, how she has found pockets of productivity in this dumpster fire of a year, and what she is hoping for in the New Year. Plus, she ends with a benediction for a year that didn’t turn out like we thought it should....
Dec 09, 2020•34 min•Season 5Ep. 32
The pandemic introduced many to living with uncertainty. But for some, uncertainty has always been their norm. Actress Nikki Deloach has starred in several Hallmark Christmas movies, but her life hasn’t matched the happily-ever-after plot-lines of her characters. Nikki’s dad was diagnosed with an aggressive form of dementia and her son was diagnosed with congenital heart defects in utero… all in the same week. In this conversation, Kate and Nikki discuss how to live with constant uncertainty, ho...
Dec 01, 2020•38 min•Season 5Ep. 31
Emergency Rooms are the theater of life itself. For ER Dr. Michele Harper, work has become a calling—to bear witness to people’s problems both large and small, to advocate for better care, to catch those who fall through society’s cracks, to stand up against discrimination, to remind patients that the pain they have endured is not fair… it was never supposed to be this way. In this episode, Kate and Michele talk about the importance of radical honesty when it comes to advocacy as well as the rac...
Nov 24, 2020•36 min•Season 5Ep. 30
At the core of nursing is the ability to love a stranger, to care indiscriminately. Christie Watson was a nurse in the UK for 20 years before she began teaching nurses. But when COVID-19 hit, she knew she needed to stand with her colleagues. So she put on her scrubs once again. In this moving conversation, Kate and Christie discuss the cost of COVID on healthcare workers, chaplains, and those who can’t be by their loved ones’ side when they need it most. If you are a nurse, know a nurse, or have...
Nov 17, 2020•40 min•Season 5Ep. 29
Though magazines and movie stars try to convince us otherwise, we aren’t all living our BEST LIFE NOW. When humor writer Samantha Irby lost both of her parents at 18, she developed the perfect coping mechanism: finding the absurd in everything. Kate and Samantha have a wide-ranging conversation about topics like grieving their Sweet Valley High life dreams, and how losing your parents as a child is the worst form of lost agency, and how important it is to speak honestly about our fragile, imperf...
Nov 10, 2020•41 min•Season 5Ep. 28
What does it mean to be blessed? If you were to scroll through social media, you'd assume that "blessed" are the ones with gorgeous, matching families living in open style floor plans. But Jesus had other things in mind. When the Reverend Jan Richardson lost her husband, she continued to write counterintuitive blessings like “A Blessing for the Brokenhearted." In this episode, Kate and Jan talk about the ways grief cracks us open and the ways blessing invites us to stubborn hope. CW: Death of a ...
Oct 27, 2020•37 min•Season 5Ep. 27
Are some people more empathetic than others? By studying those on the opposite end of the compassion spectrum—those with psychopathy—researcher Dr. Abigail Marsh discovered something quite surprising. In this episode, Kate and Abigail talk about the purpose of fear, what it really means to be brave, and how we can all learn to better belong to one another. For show notes, transcripts, and discussion questions: https://katebowler.com/podcasts/abigail-marsh-extraordinary-empathy/ To learn more abo...
Oct 21, 2020•35 min•Season 5Ep. 26
Sometimes it feels like the world is irreparably broken. A climate crisis leading to more hurricanes, fires, and melting glaciers. A political season that has ripped families and friends apart. A pandemic that has left us more isolated than ever and even more delicate than before. Even the strongest among us may wonder, "What hope is there? Is love enough to save us?" My guest today is someone who believes in the kind of love that can change everything. In this episode, Kate and Bishop Michael C...
Oct 13, 2020•36 min•Season 5Ep. 25
There are some secrets we'd rather not tell, but that eat us alive anyway. Writer Susan Burton was trapped in an eating disorder with no good name. Today's conversation is not a victory story. Issues with our bodies are not ones we overcome because our bodies are, you know, living things. Kate and Susan discuss how we struggle against shame and learn to have compassion for ourselves and our fragile, beautiful bodies. CW: Disordered eating For show notes, transcripts, and discussion questions: ht...
Oct 06, 2020•29 min•Season 5Ep. 24
How do doctors, nurses, and other caring professionals keep their hearts soft when there are forces that make it hard to stay that way? With her radically compassionate approach to medicine, Dr. Victoria Sweet calls us to slow down in a world that loves quick fixes. In today's conversation, Kate and Victoria give us more language about what helps us all stay connected to the people we serve. CW: Describes father's seizures and medical mistreatment, doctor describing patient care For show notes, ...
Sep 29, 2020•32 min•Season 5Ep. 23
What does it mean to be called to something? What if that job wears you thin? What if you think you've aged out of your vocation? In this episode, Kate and the Reverend Dr. Will Willimon talk about what to do when the roles we play cost us more than we're willing to pay and how aging invites us to take a new look at our purpose. (Also, you'll hear about the time Kate offered Will a bit of necessary... perspective.) For show notes, transcript, and discussion questions: https://katebowler.com/podc...
Sep 22, 2020•33 min•Season 5Ep. 23
What do you do when hope feels lost? Abstract artist Lanecia Rouse Tinsley is no stranger to the hopelessness that comes with grief. In extended isolation because of the pandemic, a nationwide reckoning with race, and our own personal losses, we could all use a bit of what Lanecia calls holy seeing. In this episode, Kate and Lanecia discuss how creativity can be an act of resistance and the hope she discovered on a blank canvas. CW: Miscarriage, death of a child, racism For show notes, the trans...
Sep 15, 2020•35 min•Season 5Ep. 22
Who are we as we age? Our culture has such poor language for the who-we-are-ness across time. The ways we grow and the things that threaten to diminish us. Clinical psychologist and bestselling author, Mary Pipher knows a lot about the opportunities and costs embedded in aging. In this episode, Kate and Mary offer us a non self-helpy roadmap for how to age beautifully. For show notes, the transcript, and discussion questions: https://katebowler.com/podcasts/mary-pipher-the-art-of-aging/ To learn...
Sep 08, 2020•32 min•Season 5Ep. 21
We have thick cultural scripts for what is deemed inspirational and it usually goes like this: You can do it. Never give up. Everything you need is inside of you today. But what do you really need to hear when life is coming apart? Morgan Harper Nichols is someone whose words of encouragement gently lift our chins toward hope. In this episode, Kate and Morgan discuss how important it is to reflect truth and hope and beauty back to one another. For show notes, the transcript, and discussion quest...
Sep 01, 2020•29 min•Season 5Ep. 20
Our lives have shrunk and our choices have been dramatically restricted. But the obligations never stopped, did they? How do we get off the achievement train and build a beautiful life within constraints? Writer Shauna Niequist was on the fast track to burnout when she received advice that changed the pace of her life entirely. Kate and Shauna talk about the productivity myths we believe and how to embrace a slower, smaller life marked by delight. For show notes, the transcript, and discussion q...
Aug 25, 2020•32 min•Season 5Ep. 19
What does it feel like to really live? Some people jump out of airplanes. Others prefer for their feet to stay on the floor. Some seek out the feeling of riding the edge of what is possible, and the rest of us are too tired to think about it right now in this pandemic season. Clinical psychologist Dr. Ken Carter studies thrill-seekers. In this episode, Kate and Ken discuss fear—how we manage it and how we live alongside it. For show notes, the transcript, and discussion questions: https://katebo...
Aug 18, 2020•32 min•Season 5Ep. 18
Parenting isn't always Instagram-worthy, but the American myth of perfectionism rarely shows that messy middle. Kristen Howerton, mom of four, therapist, and author of Rage Against the Minivan , gives us the permission slip we all need. The one that says you can opt out of greatness. There is no winning in parenthood. For show notes, the transcript, and discussion questions: https://katebowler.com/podcasts/kristen-howerton-worlds-okayest-mom/ To learn more about listener data and our privacy pra...
Aug 11, 2020•30 min•Season 5Ep. 17
What do we do when the institutions that are supposed to protect us, fail? As a child, Rachael Denhollander was sexually abused by USA Gymnastics team doctor, Larry Nassar. When she came forward with her story, over 300 other women came forward too—eventually bringing him to justice. In this episode, Kate and Rachael talk about how love must be the motivation behind justice and how our worth cannot be taken away, no matter what happens to us. CW: Sexual abuse and assault For show notes, the tran...
Aug 04, 2020•31 min•Season 5Ep. 16
Ray Hinton spent 30 years on death row for a crime he didn’t commit. With the help of justice lawyer Bryan Stevenson, Ray won his release in 2015. In this episode, Kate and Ray discuss the experience of not being believed, a justice system that works against you because of the color of your skin, and the sustaining power of unconditional love. CW: Incarceration, death penalty, racism For show notes, the transcript, and discussion questions: https://katebowler.com/podcasts/anthony-ray-hinton-the-...
Jul 28, 2020•42 min•Season 5Ep. 15
When a group of young moms died around the same time, clinicians Justin Yopp and Don Rosenstein wanted to refer their widowed spouses to a grief support group... but none existed. So they started their own. Kate, Justin, and Don discuss the loss of imagined futures and the particular needs of young, widowed parents. Together, they uncover the magic of we. CW: Doctors describe their work with patients who have cancer, death of a spouse For show notes, the transcript, and discussion questions: htt...
Jul 21, 2020•36 min•Season 5Ep. 14
What if your life hasn’t turn out like you thought it would? When writer Heather Lanier’s daughter was born with a rare genetic syndrome, she learned that the world will not always see her beloved as good. In this conversation, Kate and Heather discuss how it’s okay that we are not summed up on bell curves. Perhaps the bodies in which we dwell are whole enough. CW: Difficult labor For show notes, the transcript, and discussion questions: https://katebowler.com/podcasts/heather-lanier-whole-and-h...
Jul 14, 2020•34 min•Season 5Ep. 13
Timothy Omundson knows what it feels like to have well-made plans come apart after he suffered a massive stroke at the height of his acting career. Kate speaks with Tim and Joel McHale about the power of hard work and friendship. CW: Stroke, Chronic illness For show notes, the transcript, and discussion questions: https://katebowler.com/podcasts/timothy-omundson-joel-mchale-flying-buttresses/ To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-pol...
Jul 07, 2020•43 min•Season 5Ep. 12
When Jason Rosenthal’s wife died, she left him a gift that he couldn’t even have known to ask for—in the form of a viral Modern Love article. Today’s episode is about the kind of love that walks us to the very edge and charts a way forward. Even when forward seems impossible to imagine. CW: Death of a spouse, ovarian cancer For show notes, the transcript, and discussion questions: https://katebowler.com/podcasts/jason-rosenthal-blank-space/ To learn more about listener data and our privacy pract...
Jun 30, 2020•28 min•Season 5Ep. 11
Sarah Bessey speaks right to the soft spot where our deepest pain and deepest hope meet. The place where in the bleakest of nights we whisper, What if this doesn’t get better? If you find yourself in that tender spot today, this conversation is for you. CW: Miscarriage, car accident For show notes, the transcript, and discussion questions: https://katebowler.com/podcasts/sarah-bessey-ordinary-miracles/ To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/p...
Jun 23, 2020•34 min•Season 5Ep. 10
Is fear avoidable? What does this emotion do to our bodies and minds? In this episode, Kate speaks with psychologist Hillary McBride on the importance of fear, practicing embodiment, and ways we can better live alongside the things we’re afraid of. CW: Trauma For show notes, the transcript, and discussion questions: https://katebowler.com/podcasts/hillary-mcbride-living-inside-our-bodies/ To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy ...
Jun 16, 2020•38 min•Season 5Ep. 9
There's a story we're told about how we should save ourselves through sheer grit. But many fall on the other side of that success metric. In this episode, Kate and writer and activist Mia Birdsong discuss expanding our definition of family and how to show up when our community needs us—both locally and nationally. CW: Racism, white supremacy, police violence For show notes, the transcript, and discussion questions: https://katebowler.com/podcasts/mia-birdsong-community-as-a-verb/ To learn more a...
Jun 09, 2020•32 min•Season 5Ep. 8
