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Trust It's the pillar of any relationship, romantic or not. Well, that's what Indy believes. She also thinks there's no reason not to give it out when you first meet someone.
I've always been a big believer that trust is there until it's broken, and that's what I feel like it was with James. I had no reason not to trust him. Every person that I spoke to about him always spoke so highly of him and had nothing but positive things to say about him. Or he was really friendly, charismatic, and so yeah, I just saw, like all tics.
Others might disagree, arguing trust should be earned, that Indie reckons is just going into life with a negative attitude. Nobody's got time for that. So what could possibly happen to make someone with her positive shiny outlook to a complete one eighty?
I was so angry. I didn't feel sorry for him anymore. I didn't feel sad for him anymore. I was furious he was in a really awful situation. But I had to put myself first because I couldn't keep getting lied to again and again.
I'm Georgia Love and this is everyone has an ex Come with me as we dive into a collection of unconventional stories about relationships past through the eyes and the hearts of the very people who live them. Today's story starts, as so many do, through Instagram. Indian knew of James, but didn't really know him until the old DM s i'd.
One of my mutual friends said to James, you should follow India on Instagram, and so then he followed me on Instagram and every now and then he'd do like a little fire emoji, but nothing kind of came from it. And then he messaged me one day and he was like, let's catch up, but nothing came of that. And then we went into COVID lockdown, so we'll message each other
a bit back and forth, and still nothing. And then once lockdown finished, then he messaged me and he basically said, now lockdown's finished, do you want to go on that date?
So they did.
It was an amazing first date, like it was honestly perfect from start to finish, and we went to a really nice Asian fusion restaurant. And do you know how sometimes in those restaurants, like the tables are really close together, but ours was completely separate away from everyone else, and it was like flowing conversation the whole time. And yeah, it was just a really, really nice first date. And he was very smooth, like he went to the toilet and then he snuck up and he went and paid.
And the drive home, actually I dropped him home in the uber and we had to wear masks back then, and so then we kind of awkwardly looked at one another and pulled our masks down and kissed each other in the uber, and then he went inside. And yeah, the next day, I was eagerly like waiting by my phone hoping that he would message me, and yeah, he messaged me, and he wanted to go on another date, and so we saw each other a few days later, and it just continued. He was two years older than
me and my dating history. I had been single for a few years at that stage because we were from the same area. Every person that I spoke to about him always spoke so highly of him and had nothing but positive things to say about him. He was really friendly, charismatic, and so yeah, I just saw like all ticks. He was amazing, Like he was really caring, he was thoughtful, he was kind, he made me love so much, and yeah,
I just really cherished all those those few weeks. And then it got to I think about the three week mark, and he just said, I'm telling everyone that you're my girlfriend. And he had never had a girlfriend before either, so I was his first day of a girlfriend, which I thought was a little bit of a red flag, but it ended up being fine. He was an amazing boyfriend.
We spent so much time together we ended up going into lockdown, and so because we were in lockdown, and then that forced us to spend even more time with one another. So we were in lockdown, but we were still trying to make things fun, like we would have a Mexican night, make spicy margaritas for one another. And I remember one of the first I think it was like the third date, he actually bought ingredients and came over to my apartment and cooked for me, which I
just thought was so romantic. And he really wanted me to meet his family really quick into the relationship as well, which I also thought I had never really experienced that before. I thought that that was really like lovely of him. And he just seemed like he was really proud of me and proud to introduce me to all of his close friends and family. He had a lot of friends. He was a really friendly person. He was just so thoughtful. There was just so many like thoughtful aspects to him.
And he made me laugh all the time, like we would just be laughing, and yeah, he just seemed like a really really good person. So from all my family, compared to all of my previous ex's, they were like, James is amazing. He seems like such a good guy. And so I was reassured from all of my friends and family around me as well.
The relationship was good, easy and fun, and soon they were to take the next step.
I had my own apartment, so I purchased my own place, and he was living in a sharehouse. So a lot of the time he would come over to my place and stay at mine because we had our own space there. And then he spoke about wanting to move out of
his sharehouse and possibly move into his investment property. He had an investment property that was a few suburbs away from mine, and so then because we were spending I guess five out of seven nights with each other a week, I kind of just said, why don't you just move in here? And he did so he moved into my apartment and lived with me after six months, and I guess some people thought that that was a bit quick, but it just felt natural and it felt right, and
it was lovely living together. We had our routine, we would go to the market every week and we would cook for one another, and we lived really well together. So yeah, it was all really positive from then. And we had some discussions about rent and him paying me rent, and he said to me he had quite a few fines, and so I said to him, that's fine. How about you pay me fifty dollars less each week in rent until you pay off all of your fines and then you can pay what he originally wanted to pay me
once that's all sorted. And so he was really appreciative of that, and so that's what we did. However, when it came to him paying me at times, he just wouldn't and so it would be he'd get paid once a week, and we agreed he would just pay me weekly and then we'd split everything fifty to fifty for bills. And the first week, I remember, I just I got
no money in my account. And I always feel so uncomfortable talking about money and having to follow people up for money, and so I think I messaged my sisters and I was like, I don't know what to do, and they were like, just give it like another week and steal nothing. So then I asked and he's like, I'm so sorry, and he'd transfer the money straight away. He was mortified and he apologized and he's like, I'm so sorry. He completely slipped my mind and he transferred
it to me straight away. And then that kind of pattern just kept continuing, and then it kind of got to a stage where I would just bring it up and I would ask him and I'd say, where's the money in a nice way, and he would transfer it through to me. And I thought that it was a bit odd that he wouldn't transfer it, but then I
would ask and then it would go in instantly. And then there would be times where he would say something to me, so he'd say, oh, do you mind if I don't pay this week because I have the owner's corp fee that I need to pay for my investment property, and I was like, that's so fine, you can just pay two weeks next week, and so little things like that would come up.
Okay, so this wasn't great, but he would pay immediately every time, and he reminded him he hadn't. Maybe he was just a little forgetful or had his priority is a bit skewed.
He was quite generous, and that's one of the thing that my friends all said that James would always go and buy them drinks, and yeah, be very generous with his money, but he was probably not spending his money in the best way that he should have been. And you know, they'd be times where he wouldn't pay for rent, but then he'd walk in. I still remember this so clearly. He walked in and he had all of these shopping
bags and I looked in. I was like, what is that and he's like, oh, look, I bought myself and you, Tommy, he'll figure shirt and I bought myself this, And I just said, you owe me like three weeks worth of rent. Why don't you pay me that before you go off and buy yourself things that are not necessary. But anytime i'd have that conversation, then the money would just get transferred straight away. He would be mortified and he would apologize.
He'd seem slightly embarrassed, but he just yeah, he would say sorry. Sometimes he would say that there was a bill that he'd have to pay for his investment property and that was the reason. So he just didn't like communicating about anything to do with money, and I didn't either. It's an awkward, uncomfortable topic. We never thought about anything, and so I feel like we had a very healthy relationship. But the only real issue was that he was quite
lax when it came to paying rent on time. He's the type of person's like ignorance is bliss out of sight, out of mind, and he just wouldn't have an open conversation about those sorts of things.
Apart from the huge number of fines James had, money wasn't actually an issue. They'd been together two years at this point. They both owned properties and had full time jobs. But James had lived in a sharehouse before and had never had a girlfriend, let alone lived with one, so Indy wasn't concerned. She just realized he might have some growing up to do. There was nothing of real concern. Yet.
One day I was at home and he was out and I was looking for a pair of headphones, and so I went into his work bag and I was looking through and I saw a debt letter and so I just pulled it out. It looked like a fine. I was like, here we go again, another fine, because he had had so many fines. And I pulled it out and it was his name, our address, and it was a fine for ninety thousand dollars. And I just put it back and hit it and then I was in disbelief. I was kind of like, what did I
just see? And then I went back to it because I'm like, surely I did not see that correctly, and I pulled it out and yeah, it was for around eighty nine thousand dollars. And when he came home, I just said, James, I was not snooping. I was looking for headphones and I saw this debt letter in your bag. I'm really concerned and I want to help you. Please tell me what's going on. And he looked at me so calmly, and he just said, oh, it's all good. The bank made a mistake. And I'm like what, And
he's like, the bank made a mistake. I've got a letter work that retracts that debt letter that they sent me. I just said, the bank does not make a mistake like that. He was like, no, I'm telling you the truth. The bank made a mistake, and when I go to work tomorrow, I'll send you the letter. And we got into quite a big argument, and I ended up just
getting my stuff and leaving. I went and spent the afternoon with my friends, but I did not discuss it with them, And then I came home and I just said to him, you have one opportunity to tell me the truth. Tell me what is going on. Eventually I got it out of him that he just stopped paying his mortgage repayments on his investment property and the bank took possession of it and sold it for less than what was worth, which is how he ended up with
that ninety thousand dollars debt. I was so upset because I would have helped him. If he had said to me, I'm struggling with these mortgage repayments. I would have helped him pay half, or I would have not made him pay rent to live with me so he could focus on that. But it's the fact that he just completely
hit it and didn't speak to me about it. It was kind of our light like because we were planning on buying house together and things like that, and so then with that big debt that was going to impact us like going forward, we weren't going to be able to buy a house together or anything like that. When he told me, he actually didn't have much emotion at all, and I guess it was the other way around. I
wouldn't be able to cope. I don't even cope having like a few hundred dollars on my credit card, let alone losing a property and then having this massive ninety thousand dollars damp. It was months that he had just been living, and he'd been living this lie, and he showed no stress the way that he was living. I did not pick up at all that he was going
through this massive obstacle in his life. He went to bed, he slept like normal, and Yeah, there was just no signs to pick up that he was dealing with this. And I felt sad for him as well. I felt sad that he dealt with that on his own. I was a mixed bag of feelings, So I guess at the start, yeah, I was in disbelief and then I was sad because I just knew that this would impact
us years on. And so like I would go to work and I would drive in the car and i'd cry in the car, and then i'd get out and I'd like have my day of work, and then I would get home and I'd cry again. But it was all right. And then I went through a bit of anger and I got really angry with him and we'd get into arguments about it. But I feel like it was just because I wish he had have come to me. And I guess in a relationship, you are vulnerable and
you tell your partner everything. And the fact that he was not willing to share that with me or allow me in that was quite hurtful as well. He actually asked me to not tell anyone. He didn't want me to share it with anyone, and he was really adamant, like, do not tell anyone about this. Yeah, I didn't want
him to have that shame. When I found out that he'd lost the property, we actually went to see a counselor, and we went to a few counseling sessions, and the counselor actually said, you guys don't need to come anymore, and he was like, I see different couples all the time, and he was like, I sometimes think to myself, like, why are you even trying to fix this? You guys just need to break up. But he goes, I don't see that with you. You guys don't have anything else
to work on. And I felt really confident in that. I really tried to push him into declaring bankruptcy because I just thought he could wipe it. It would be three years, but with declaring bankruptcy, you can't leave the country, and we had a big Europe trip planned and so he did not want to miss out on the Europe trip. He said that he would be able to afford it, and that he had already paid off most of the Europe trip, and so he was like, no, let's just
do this dead agreement. I'll pay back a part of it. And then I was like, why didn't we move back to my parents? So I packed up my whole apartment, I packed up everything in that apartment, and we moved back to my parents and lived with my parents, just to try and save a bit more money. And I guess in relationships, you have to make sacrifices. And I was willing to make that sacrifice for him so he could still go to Europe and have the trip that
we had been looking forward to for so long. I remember I was laying on the balcony like the night before we packed up, and I was laying in his lap, just crying because I did not want to move out, but I was still willing to do that for him.
I feel like most people would agree going to Europe with a ninety thousand dollar debt to your name, it's not the wisest decision. Indeed, very much agreed, but James was an adult. The decision was his.
I just thought that he needed to stay at home, needed to sort his finances out, and he really convinced me that he would be able to sort everything out. We sat down and we did a financial plan together, and we tried to do budgeting, and we created all different you know, the barefoot investor. We created all these different accounts for him so he could save for Europe. And I was convinced that he would be able to stick to that and he'd be able to afford it.
He was a thirty one year old man that had an investment property, had a stable job and a stable income. And I just thought that it was up to him to make that grown up decision himself, and I was I was really looking forward to going. We had such an amazing trip booked and planned, and I did still want to go with him, but I just thought it would have been smarter for him to stay at home and deal with losing the property. And the other issue was is that he did not want to tell anyone
in his life. He didn't want to tell his parents, he didn't want to tell any of his siblings, any of his friends, and I was really trying to encourage him to speak to them about it, but yeah, he's like, no, I don't want them to know. And I guess if he had a stayed home then that would have been alarm balles and they would have been wondering what was going on. So I think maybe that might have been another reason as well.
So they moved in withind his parents, rented out her apartment to cover her mortgage, and saved as much as they could for six months before they jetted off on the trip of a lifetime.
It was an amazing trip. We started off in Italy and he actually worked there for a bit, so he did a bit of work and yeah, we traveled all through Italy and then it got to Tuscany. We were in and he obviously doesn't have a credit card because he had a dead agreement, but he booked a higher car and they said you need to put a credit card down, and he's like, I don't have it. I tried to offer mine and they were like, no, the booking needs to be in your name if you're going
to use your credit card. And then he offered up another option and he just said, look, you can put down five hundred euros off a debit card and then we will release that money when you return the car. And I just said, James, do that, that's fine, and he's like, I can't, and I'm like, what do you mean. He's like, I don't have five hundred euros. So he had come over to Europe with no money and he was relying on his weekly long service leave pay. That
caused quite a few issues. I was really stressed and I said to him, how do you not have any money over here? Because if you get into an emergency, what are you going to do? And I wasn't going to be with him the whole time, so I said to him you know, when you're off traveling by yourself, if there is an emergency, message me and I will transfer your money if you need anything, and then we can't.
I kind of didn't speak about it much after that, and he still was getting a weekly paid from his work from the long service leave salary, and then yeah, we traveled with other people, and so we were traveling all around Europe, and he kind of got into this awful cycle where he'd get paid and then he would spend all of his money and then it'll get to the end of the week and then he would rely
on other people paying for him. So we would all take turns paying for dinners and things like that, and he would just never offer, and then it would get to his payday again and then he would pay everyone back, but then that meant that he was a few hundred dollars down. So it was just this cycle that he
fell into throughout the whole trip. And then so we were actually over there as well for my thirtieth birthday, and so we were heading to our next destination for my birthday, and we were in an airport and it was like a layover, and I was sitting with my sisters and I saw him pacing around the airport and he was on the phone. He looked like he was crying. He was bright red, he was sweating bullets. And I was like to him, James, like what is going on?
And you're okay? And he's like, it's fine. It's just a work thing. And I was like, you're on long service leave, like tell them to leave you alone. You don't need to be dealing with work things now. And he said, the payroll lady at work has gone away and I didn't get paid this week. And I was like, that can't happen. You can't just not get paid, Like message your boss right now and tell him that he needs to transfer you the money. And he's like, it's
all good. I'll figure it out. And he walked off, and a few people that we were with or said is he okay? Like it does not look like it looks like something's going on, and he was adamant it was all fine. And then after that, he was drinking excessive amounts of alcohol when he really didn't need too, and I kept checking in on him and I just kept saying like, is everything okay? He saw he was like it's all fine, and then it got to my birthday,
I had like the best day. There was thirteen of us that we were all together and we were on a boat and it was just such a lovely day. And then the day after, he said to me he'd organized something for my birthday, and I was like, I really don't want to do anything because I know that you're struggling financially, and so please just cancel whatever you've organized. And he said, no, it's all sorted like, we're still
doing it. And so then as we were walking to what he had planned, he just broke down crying and he just said, I can't afford this, And so I paid for my own thirtieth birthday gift that he organized, which was at this beach club. And I felt so bad for him that I transferred him an extra few hundred dollars as well, because I knew that he was struggling with money and stuff over there too. I felt
really bad for him. I just I could see that he was heartbroken, and it seemed like from his perspective, I just think that he thought he was letting me down for my birthday. And we still had a lovely day, and we kind of just didn't speak about it.
This was exactly why India thought James going on this trip wasn't a good idea. But she was really caught between a rock and a hard place. They were already there, they were with a big group of friends, and she didn't want James to be embarrassed or feel like he wasn't good enough. Plus Indy's birthday was going to be the most expensive part and that was now behind them.
He was still getting paid weekly while they were there, and as soon as they got home they were going to have some serious budgeting talks and get them both as a couple back on track.
So then we get to Greece and we have an amazing time. And actually while we were in Greece, he said, let's start trying for kids. And I wanted to start a family so badly, and that was our plan that we were going to go to Europe, We're going to come home and we're going to save for another six months and then going to start trying. But he was like, let's just start now, and I was like, no, I don't think that's the right decision, Like, you need to
sort your finances out. I need to save money as well. Babies are expensive we're not going to try now. I was still living with my parents and so we had planned to like come back, stay with them for a few more months and then move into a bigger property and then keep my place up for rant. But yeah, I just was like, it's not the right time to start. And that was something that I wanted so badly as well that it was like I was happy that he suggested it, but then I was like, no, like, I
just don't think that it's the right time. We had gone engagement ring shopping, like he took me engagement ring shopping to try on different styles and figure out what I liked. And yeah, I just I thought I would have kids with him and I'd end up with him for the rest of my life. So yeah, I guess it was a bit like disheartening that we weren't at that stage. I knew we were get there eventually. So then I finish off our trip and the final island that we were going to, it was just James and
I and we stayed at the most beautiful AIRBMB. It was so romantic and it was like at the very top of this hill and you could see the whole ocean and it had like this beautiful like infinity pool and we got there and at this stage he owed me quite a lot of money, and I just kind of gave up on asking. And then I had just paid quite a bit for the cod bikes and a few other things, and I said to him, can you just pay me a little bit of what you owe me?
And he was like I can't, and I'm like why and he's like, because I got fired from work because I've been stealing money from them and they just found out. I just was in disbelief again. I was like, this cannot be happening. And so I actually just got my stuff and put my helmet on my cod bike and just drove off.
I drove off, and I pulled to the side and I was just like hysterically crying because I just yeah, I was just like, surely not again.
And so I called my sister and she was just in tears as well. On the phone. I was just like, this cannot.
Be happening, and yeah, yeah, like an older Greek woman, she heard me crying on the side of the road and she came out to check on me. And then I composed myself and I think I was away from THEBB for about an hour, and then I went back and I just said to him, like, you need to tell me everything from start to finish, and yeah, he just said that over the space of two years, he'd stolen just under forty thousand dollars from them, and they had fired him and they were possibly going to press
charges against him. And he found out when he was at the airport, and so he obviously received a call from his work asking him what was going on, and that was when it all kind of unfolded. And so he just kept saying that he didn't want to ruin the trip for me, and so that's why he didn't want me to find out until the very end.
And he actually hadn't even planned on telling me. When he did, he Yeah, he just splitted it out and he just said, workers found out that I've been stealing from them and they fired me.
Indy felt like she'd left her own life and was watching someone else's. This stuff didn't happen, not with someone she'd known, lived with and loved for three years. She had a million questions, but the most pressing one why.
He just said that he got himself into a massive spiral and he just couldn't get out of it when he'd have I think he had quite a few fines that came from that debt of him losing the property and a few other debts. So then he would tap into some of that money and then he would use his salary to pay that back, but then something else would come up. And he just was not very responsible when it came to money either. Like he you know,
saving you have to make sacrifices. You can't go out for dinner all the time, and you can't go off buying yourselves all these nice fancy things. But for him, there was no making sacrifices. It was he could just do everything in his mind. And then it made sense because whenever I'd say, James, like you owe me this, he would pay that money straight away, and it would have been because of that stolen money. So there was meant to be another week and we went home two
days later. I was worried about him, and the first thing that I thought when I found out was that I just needed to get him home safely. So I changed our flights, so changed the fairies. We went home early the day after I actually took him out, and I tried to make it a fun day. We went to a few different beaches, and we went out for lunch, and we went out for dinner, and we just tried to enjoy the last day before we were going back
home because I wanted to try and distract him. He was really struggling mentally as well, so he just was not in a good mental headspace. He did say he was going to take his own life, and he said that he'd thought about taking his own life a few times. Throughout that trip. It was like a lot and it was hard because it was like I was trying to process all of this, but then I was trying to be there to support him as well, and so yeah,
I couldn't really process everything properly myself. And so the flights home they were tough, like it was a lot of tears and him trying to figure out, Okay, what's going to be my next career path. We got home and he went back to his parents and I went back to mine, and I wasn't going to break up with him, like I was still going to stay with him because I loved him, and I just kind of thought, you know, this is like a tough hurdle that we're
facing but we're going to get through it. I just said that we needed some space because I was trying to process all of this. First, I was just trying to care about his welfare, and then I was like, I need to process this myself in my own space. Then I started slowly telling my friends what was going on. So I messaged a few of them and I just said, I'm letting you know I'm coming home early because this is a situation, and this is what's happened with James
and the friends that we traveled with. Like one of my best friends, she was brought to tears by what had happened. She couldn't believe. And then my other friend, she was in America and she was like, I wanted to change my flight and come home early. So like, my friends were like so lovely and supportive through it all. And then my other friend that I was traveling with, I messaged her and I just said, look, I'm letting you know that me and James are on a break
at the moment. He's had some real financial difficulties and he's basically been stealing from his work and they found out and they fired him and were trying to work through things and she messaged me back and she said, girl, I'm so sorry. I didn't know how to tell you this. But James messaged my boyfriend and asked to borrow money and he lent him money and he's not paid him back.
He lent him ay one hundred dollars. My heart just sunk and I just said not again, because I just was like, it's just one thing after another, When is this ever going to end. One of the worst parts about it was is that he actually told us a story. So my friend's boyfriend told us a story where one of his friends asked to borrow some money and he just never paid him back. And he kind of was like, you know, I never got the money back, but it is what it is, like I still respect him and
I still see him as a good friend. And so James messaged him and in the message, he said, because you told me about what had happened with your friend, I feel comfortable coming to you because you know I'm good for it. So he took his kindness for weakness.
He lied about transferring the money. He said that he transferred it to him and then he waited a few days and got nothing, and then he said, can you please send me a bank transfer receipt to show that you've actually transferred this money, and he sent a fake bank transfer receipt. I was so angry. I didn't feel sorry for him anymore. I didn't feel sad for him anymore.
I was I was furious. I was just like, you know, you've done all of this, You've led me on, and you've lied to me, and now you're involving my friends in this. After that message, then I refused to speak to him. So I actually contacted his mom and I just said, he's done this again. I broke down in tears on the phone to her and I just said, why does this keep happening? Like why is he doing this? And she was devastated as well, and she's just said it's okay, we'll sort it out. Yeah, I said to
his mom, tell him not to contact me. I need some space from him, and I'll speak to him when I'm ready. And then I, yeah, basically packed all of his stuff, every belonging that he had, into a bag. I packed it in my car. And you know, he'd already started telling people that we had broken up before we'd even had the conversation. So I was like upset because I was getting messages from his friend's girlfriends saying, oh my gosh, we've just heard about you and James.
We're so sorry, and it's like we hadn't even had that conversation yet, and so then I was kind of like, that's it. So packed his stuff, I said, let's meet up, and yeah, we had a conversation, and I just said, I can't do this anymore, like you've yeah broke in my heart, like the fact that you've done all of this and you've lied to me. And I just actually put it to him like this. I said, you know,
your sister is now dating a new person. I said, if your sister came to you and said to you, my boyfriend has done X, Y and Z, which is what you've done to me, what would your advice be to her? Would you say stay with him and give him another chance, even though you've already I already gave him so many chances. Or would you say break up? And he said break up? And I said, there you go.
I was really hard. I had to get a lot of my stuff from him, and like all of my belongings were kind of stored at his parents' house and then we packed all of that stuff up together and put it in a storage unit, and he slipped this letter in my bag and he just said, I'm going to keep fighting for you until you tell me to stop. Even after that, I was like, you know what, I think that we will still get back together. And not that I had hope, but I just kind of thought.
I always thought that he was my sole mate. He was going to be the person that i'd settled down with and be with for the rest of my life. And I just thought, you know, maybe he'll sort everything out and then we can start fresh again. And then I'm so glad that I saw this mutual friend because
I ran into her. So this was a few months after the breakup and we kind of cut contact and I saw her and she was like to me, I'm so sorry about you and James like, I hope that you're okay, and I was like, oh, I know, like and she goes, you know, he's never going to change.
He's always been like this, and I was like, what do you mean, and she's like, you know, he did this when he was in his early twenties and I was like what, and she's like, yeah, he stole twenty one grand from two people at this local sports club as well, and I was again just in shock, but I just felt so validated. He was a repeat offender with these sorts of behaviors to do with money. It really reassured me that I made the right decision in not being with him, and it stopped me from holding
on to hope that we'd ever get back together. I was absolutely heartbroken because, like I said, I thought that I was going to be with him for the rest of my life, and I actually I didn't imagine a life without him, and so it was so much to process all of that going on, but then also having to deal with a breakup that I never thought, yeah, that I never anticipated as well. So yeah, it was really tough. I missed all of the things about our relationship.
We had such a great relationship. That was the sad part of it, that we were so happy together and there were so many positives. He was such a great person, and that's why it kind of shocked everyone. It didn't just shock me. It shocked my family, It shocked all of our friends and everything like that, because I just didn't think that he was capable of doing something like that. It made me realize I had no idea who I
was dating for three years, and that scared me. And it scared me that there was so much about him that I didn't know and I had no idea about, and that he hid from me and kept from me. And the even scarier thing was how good he was at put on this facade and lying. And yeah, he was such a good liar. It was like ignorance is bliss and out of sight, out of mind kind of thing.
So I think that's how he went on. And I think he just thought, in his mind, if I don't believe that this is happening, it's not actually happening.
She never really got any proper answers as to why James did all this, why he was so bad with money, why he lied while he stole and ripped off his own friends.
But there was.
One thing in all of this she couldn't begin to move on from without asking.
When we broke up, I said to him, I was like, what were you doing in Europe trying to have a child with me? Were you trying to trap me? And he just said, I was just so excited about our future together. I'm really good at compartmentalizing, and I was just compartmentalizing what was going on and just thinking about our future. And yeah, that as well. I was just like, I can't believe that he, yeah, basically tried to baby
trap me too. I'm sad that it worked out the way that it did, but I'm so grateful that I got out when I did, and that we didn't start that next chapter of having a child together, because that would have just made things so much more complex. And I don't want my future father of my children to be a liar the way that he was. I would never want anyone to think that because he had this big debt that was the reason that I broke up
with him. I gave him so many chances. I uplifted my whole life, moved back to my parents, we went to counseling, we tried to work through everything. I gave him so many chances, and it wasn't just about that. It was about the lies and the deceit that just I couldn't get over. He kept making me complicit in
his lies too. I did not appreciate, and we kept arguing about it because there was one time where one of his family members actually said so you guys are moving back to your parents, and James still has his investment property, doesn't he And I had to lie to her because I didn't want to share that because he'd asked me not to say anything. And I kept saying to him, you need to start telling people because I
don't want to be complicit in this lie. You need to come up with something, whether it's you've sold the property or you no longer have possession of it or something like that. And yeah, it was just it kind of was a bit of a snowball effect. It wasn't about the money. It was about the fact that he kept lying and he kept putting me in the same position over and over again. He was in a really awful situation. But I had to put myself first because
I couldn't keep getting lied to again and again. He's said this to a lot of people, that he's going to work really hard on himself to try and get me back. And I actually saw someone not long ago, and she said to me, I saw him not long ago, and he said that he's working on himself to get you back, and I said, that's never going to happen. I will never date him ever again. After all of the things that I found out, and she goes, oh, like,
you know, he's told me. And I was like, well, did he tell you this and this and this and this, And she's like, no, he didn't tell me that. So I think that he tells people one side of the story that actually happened. It took me a few months to kind of deal with the whole breakup, and I went through my stages of sad anger, you know, stages of grief. And now I'm back living in my place.
I'm really happy. I love having my own space again, and I'm dating, and you know, I'm on the apps, but they can be pretty tragic, but I'm having fun. So I'm just trying to keep myself busy, spend lots of time with friends and family, and I'm in a really good place now. I really want to go back to Europe, and I still had an amazing time in
Europe regardless of everything that happened. But I'm hoping to go back by myself and make some new memories and yeah, hopefully I can eventually meet the person of my dreams that doesn't lie to me and break my trust. I've always been a big believer that trust is there until it's broken, and that's what I feel like it was with James. I had no reason not to trust him, and I'm hoping that going forward, I can take that
into new relationships as well. I really do hope that he can sort himself out, he can sort his life out, he can get back on track, and he is a good person. He has a good heart, and he's just made some really stupid decisions. And I hope that he can learn from these decisions and these mistakes and that he doesn't make them going forward. I just won't be around to see it.
Everyone Has an Ex is a Minti Media production and proudly part of the Mum and mea network. It's written and narrated by me Georgia Love and produced by Linda Scott. If you like We've heard, support the podcast by hitting subscribe,
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