8: How To Reach Your Full God Given Potential | Leah Darrow

To read the full update on her health, please visit her Instagram at Leah. Darrow, please join me in praying for Lyra and her baby's health and that the Lord would heal them and restore them to full health. And if you feel called to help them financially, the family is needing donations right now. You can help by Venmoing Leah's husband, Ricky, at Ricky Paul. That's Ricky with a Y, Ricky Paul. Thank you, and I hope you enjoy this episode.

Leah is such a powerhouse woman, full of wisdom and encouragement.

Yeah, this is gonna be a great conversation. I just think your story is so inspiring and speak so much to the mercy of Jesus and the beauty of a life lived with Christ, which is something I just love to talk about. A lot of what I talk about is Christ centered living and how a life lived with Christ is so much more full, so much more joyful, so much more dream filled and exciting than a life lived without. Um, so we're going to get into that a little bit today.

Talk about how to reach that kind of like. Full god given potential. but before we dive into all those good questions for the audience that might not have heard of you before, can you just share maybe a little bit of your background, who you are, so those new listeners can learn about you. Yep. Absolutely. So, um, many moons ago I was on America's Next Top Model and I did that whole reality TV thing and I was on season or cycle three, that's what they call it, uh, of that show.

And at this point in my life, I was a good almost 10 years into living away from my faith. I was born and raised Catholic, um, grew up in the church, grew up with all the things that you're told. But about, you know, high school ish time, uh, I just made some mistakes that I thought were unredeemable and I thought, well, that's it. That's it's it for me, man. I missed the boat. Like there's nothing good for me left. Uh, no, no good.

Like there's not going to be some great dream guy waiting for me saying, yeah, I want you because of what I had done. And I just thought, well, that's it, I guess. I guess, you know, because I was raised in the church, because I was raised with knowing right from wrong, even if I didn't understand anything behind it, I was, I was raised in the faith and I was raised with really good parents. Like I'm really blessed. I have a great upbringing.

Um, you know, two parents, In the same home who loved each other, stuck it out. You know, I mean, took us to church every single Sunday. We had like the reserved pew in church. We were that family, you know, like that was just it. So when I made all these mistakes, it was, it just felt like, Oh yeah. You see, mercy is for the people who just didn't know. And mercies for the people who, um, are just not like you, like you were given everything and you screwed up.

So that was the voice of the enemy and I listened to that. So that kind of led me on a path that just is that just, I just thought like, okay, I guess this just isn't the place for me anymore. Like, Church isn't home for me. So you, we all want to belong. We desperately want to belong. You look at social media, look at the comment sections on anybody's post anywhere.

Like so many people who are creating division because they're wanting to belong to a certain group or a thought group or, uh, uh, any type of social group, whatever it is, but we want belonging. And so when Uh, you feel like you don't belong. You're going to find people. You're going to find a group. You're going to find a way of life. You're going to find something that helps you belong. And so that's kind of what I did.

And that just put me on a path, which led many years later to me thinking, Hey, let's audition for America's next top model. This seems like a great idea. Like what a great way to live my life. Yeah. To be objectified in front of millions of people. Maybe even billions of people, you know, around the world. Like this is great. So I did. I was on cycle three and it was everything that you would probably expect reality TV to be. It's dramatic. It's ridiculous.

It's most of the things that they present to you on TV are complete. Um, It's like there's like a little element of truth of what they show, but the way that they show it, it's just, it's not the way it actually went down. And uh, you know, that's probably another episode, but it was just a really wild time. So I was on the show, I was eliminated from America's Next Top Model. I decide, okay, well what am I going to do? Like I didn't win.

Um, and knowing me and my personality, it's just like, then try again. Just keep going. Like, it's going to work for you at some point. Like, don't give up. I've always had that mentality. Don't give up no matter who tells you, no, don't give up. Um, it doesn't matter what other people say. And for better or for worse, I have this, this part of my personality. So I was like, I'm going to keep going. I know I relate all the way. Yeah. You either go forward or you go home. Right.

And I mean, I wasn't going to go home, so we're going to keep going big. Yeah. Yeah. No. So I stayed in New York and I found myself a place to live and I decided I am going to keep doing this. If I went on this stupid TV show and said I was going to be some fashion model, I'm going to be some fashion model. And I, and I did that. So I, I did that. I got jobs.

I was, I was working, I did New York fashion week and I was doing all the things that I was climbing the ladder, so to speak in that space. And, um, uh, you know, getting a paycheck, my paycheck had a comma in it. My picture was on the billboards in times square is on the side of taxi cabs. So I'm walking around New York city at this point, you know? Um, and. And this is in the early 2000s.

I know this is like a long, like just, just so long ago at this point, it's crazy to think about, but you're walking around and, you know, social media hadn't hit yet, you have to remember this, like social media wasn't there. Like. AOL chat was going on. So like, I don't even know if you have a listener who can even relate to what I just the words I just said. I don't think I had one.

Yeah. So I mean, I didn't either, but like, like there were forums and chat boards where people would go online to comment about other people. And it was kind of like in this secluded place on the internet, but it was still there.

And, um, Okay. I mean, you know, just going through that show and I remember going to one of those forums and seeing what strangers all around the world had to say about me was just There's nothing like a punch to the gut than reading about strangers who have Such hateful things to say about you and they don't know you they I mean and the things that they would say um I mean, there were people telling me to kill myself because of how I look and I said, no, like, like it's, it's intense.

I mean, I say that, so it's not just like, you're not pretty, like who cares about that stuff, but it's other things. There's people talking about your character and your integrity and if you should even exist on the planet. And that was this, Window into, you know, I guess the experience that unfortunately, a lot of people have today on social media. So, I, I just, you know, kept my head down.

I was going to keep going, um, living in New York and I, it looked like everything was good because if you saw the billboards and you saw the taxi cabs and all right, you made it. And you saw me on TV, um, and then you'd have some people recognize you like, weren't you on that show? That's on right now. You know, um, it makes you feel like it makes you feel like you're somebody and it makes you feel like you belong. But then you're like, but like where, like who do I belong to?

Like, what's that group? I mean, and there's a lot of longing and a lot of loneliness going on, but I had to pretend that everything was fine. So anyway, a lot of that was stirring in me. Again, I'm not practicing my faith whatsoever at this point. Right. Whatsoever. Um, I had abandoned it. This is about 10 years in now. Um, I've abandoned my faith completely. It's not that I did not believe in God. I was not an atheist. I was not agnostic. It

So it's just a quick thing to say like, Oh yeah, I was raised this way. So I under, I can, I can, I can pick up on the conversation. Well, anyway, so all this kind of culminates into this photo shoot that I was asked to do. So I was asked to do this photo shoot for this international magazine. It was supposed to really help my career. And so I agreed to do it, of course. And, um, it was, you know, in the photo shoot where, um, We were changing sets.

And so they were changing the set and getting everything ready. And there's just a lot of people in this big warehouse, you know, and, um, Upper East side of New York. And, uh, we're getting everything ready and, and they do hair and makeup and everything else on me. And so they're, they're priming me and I'm changing outfits and I'm coming back in. And I remember the, okay, Leah stands here and we just need to take a picture really quick, just to check like lightning, to see what it looks like.

And they took a Polaroid. So they have like these spots where you're supposed to stand and get into your pose and do your work. And so I did that. They took a Polaroid and they showed me so that I would remember, like, I need to make sure that my feet are right here at this spot. I said, yeah, okay, I got it. And I gave the Polaroid back to them. Um, and we started up with the shoot.

And then the first, the first shot that the photographer took for me in that pose, um, I just made the rookie move and I looked straight into the flash instead of the lens, which is like, this is a really bad rookie move because there's a lot of flashes going on here at this time of, of, um, uh, experience. And I had to hold up my handles like, hold on a second, hold on a second. Um, and they knew what was going on. Like, I clearly like, you know. Head stars in my eyes.

And I was just blinking as fast as I could to regain my focus. And it was in that moment of regaining my focus where I saw myself inside my head, like a little movie was playing and it wasn't like a big deal. Like I just saw myself and it was just like the picture that they had just shown me, like the Polaroid pictures. I was like, it's, I mean, that was just it. Um, but I did notice that my hands were cupped together like this, like at my waist. And then I was raising them up to.

Give them to somebody. And then I saw Alton up above me, the shadowy profile of a man's face. And this is all my head. It's like a little movie is playing once again. Um, so it's like the shadowy profile of a man's face. And I raised my hands and I give them to him and he just looked at them and bowed in his head and disappointment. And I pulled my hands right back down to my waist to see what was so disappointing. Um, and they were just completely empty. Like they were just empty.

And there were five words I heard in my heart at that point. And. And again, all of this is happening within a matter of 60 seconds. Keep that in mind. This is all very, very fast. Um, it's just all in my head. And

I've even heard these words. I've even heard you share this story live like maybe three times and every time it pierces my heart too, because it just shows the heart of the father, like what you said earlier about how you thought, you know, mercy was just for the people who were, who didn't know, like, that just proves like, that's so not true. Like, the father has a heart for every single one of his children and here he was, you know, reaching out for you. Yeah, yeah, and I heard it five times.

I made you for more.

And he's like, Leah, come on, let's focus. Let's let, let's get back into it. And I remember just being like, looking around being like, I think I want to do this anymore. And they were like, what? And I'm like, um, I got to go. And they're like, Oh, no, no, you see, you don't get to choose that. Like, I know you think you're special being the model, but you're not. And you have to stay and finish the job. Like you have the contract, we've signed it. There's legal things.

You're already here in makeup. We've already finished half of it. You're going to finish it. And I was like, no, I'm not, I'm not going, I'm not going to. And I just, I just knew, I just knew the right thing to do. And when you know the right thing to do in a moment. It's, you know, you can offer whatever you want to somebody, but they're, you know, if they're, if they're stuck on the right thing, they're not gonna, they're not gonna falter. So I just threw off their clothes, put on mine.

They were talking, they had people coming up to me. They sent like the hair and makeup ladies over to me like, Hey, come on, it's okay. Everybody feels like this in the beginning. You're going to get more used to it because they didn't know what was going on. They didn't know why I was picking up and leaving obviously. Um, I just grabbed all my stuff. I remember just grabbing things and, um, clutching on myself and just like going to this big, big warehouse, warehouse door.

It just felt like this big block of cement, but it's like this big metal door and I was opening it and I remember the photographer was standing in the back and he was just pissed. I mean, like not happy, not happy at all that I ruined his, his day. And now he's got to go back and tell other people like, Hey, our model just just walked out on the shoot. Um, But he just said, if you leave, I remember turning around at the door because his, his voice is so piercing.

He goes, if you leave, you'll be a nobody. I'll make sure of it. If you leave, you'll be a nobody. And I looked at him and I just said, do you promise? And, um, he just like, Like what? Yeah. So do you promise? And then he, I mean, they didn't respond. Everyone just stood there like, what? And I just walked out. So I walked out and I walked out that door, got into the open air of New York as open air as it could be in that city.

But you go, and I just remember just walking down fifth Avenue, crying like crazy, you know, mascaras just dripping down my face cause all the makeup they put on you. Um, And I remember just thinking, what am I going to do? I think I just left my whole career. I think I just walked out. I think that was like a symbolic walking out of everything I'm doing. I think that's, I think that's what's happening right now.

Um, and you know, um, so I got, I got home, I got to my apartment and, um, I did the only, anything, the only thing that a girl could do, you know, I mean, I, um, I called my dad and, uh, I called home and I called my dad and my dad answered and I said, um, if you don't come and get me, I'm going to lose my soul. And that's all that I said. I didn't even say hello. And there was this long pause. Um, You After I said that to my dad, I mean, it was long.

I don't, I don't know what it was, but it felt so uncomfortable. It was, I just thought, I don't know, I don't know what he's going to say, you know. At this point, they knew that I had been very away from the faith for quite a while, and that I wasn't practicing, and I wasn't living a life at all close to anything resembling somebody with morality. Like, it, it, It was so obvious.

Like they, I was the talk of the Thanksgiving dinners of praying for like, how many novenas are you going to start for that girl? Because like I was the one that they said all their novenas for, um, well, praise God for that. When he, yeah. I mean, you know, I mean, I guess if gossip helps somebody pray, I mean, go for it, I guess. But, um, I don't know what you're walking a fine line there, but yeah, but, but, but, but there, but there were, there were very, sincere people praying for me.

Yeah. And, and that was definitely needed. Um, cause I couldn't pray for myself. I couldn't pray for anything. And, but when my dad finally, you know, spoke, he just said, um, okay. All right, baby, I'm coming to get you. And then my dad drove 2000 miles and he came and he picked me up. I mean, he literally drove, um, yeah, right around like 2000 miles to come and get me and he got me and he got to my doorstep, he knocked on the door. And at this point I'm like a, I am like a stupid hot mess.

Like we're talking, it was bad. Um, and I know that we've all had moments like this, but this was definitely like the low, one of the lowest of the lows. I'm still to this day, I've ever experienced before and I get to the door and I'm, I mean, I'm just done and he sees me and I open up the door and he's got his hands out, like totally stretched out and he like leans in, he kind of jumps at me and he's like, I am so happy to see you.

And he's like, before we leave New York, I'm going to go to central park and I want to go to Carnegie deli and eat this big Reuben sandwich and blah, and I'm like, uh, what, what? What? What? I'm like, do you know why you're here? I am the screw up. I failed. I didn't make it. I have been a horrible example to my five younger brothers and sisters most of my entire life. I have been the reason why you have been in tears and praying and on your knees for the past year. 10 years.

I have made every horrible decision. To be honest with you, I can't believe I haven't died from my whole lifestyle that I've been living lately and that you're not picking me up at a morgue. So why would you be happy? Like, I'm almost angry. Like, right. You can't be happy to see me. Like I'm such a mess up. Like you don't get to be happy. You know, you don't get to be happy about me. Like, no one should be happy about me. No one, like, I'm not happy about me.

I haven't been happy about me for years. I'm an angry, bitter, cynical, sarcastic, vain girl who is stuck in a rut and doesn't know how to get out. Like, how would you, why would you want to be happy to see me? And I can't get any of that out. Cause I was like, what? And he's like, yeah, I'm like, okay. So you want to go get a sandwich at a park? And he's like, yeah. So I grabbed my keys and I'm like, um, okay. I mean, my dad's a hungry guy, but.

I'm just thinking this is a really awkward time to be hungry, but okay, fine. We'll go get this sandwich. So I'm trying to leave and he is not leaving the doorframe of my apartment. He's like, he never entered into my apartment. All of this conversation is taking place at the doorframe. And so he, um, he just doesn't move. And I said, dad, let's go, let's go get that sandwich that you really want to have. And he's like, yes, but first, first. We go to confession.

Oh, and that's when I melted into a puddle on the floor. I was like, oh Okay That won't work for me, right? I mean, you know back in ten years more, right? That's crazy Yeah, yeah.

And that's kind of how you can tell the difference between somebody who's growth mindseted or not, has a growth mindset or not. It's like, do you, do you, do you look for change? Or do you run away from it? Because we're, we like being comfortable, you know, we, we do. And that's not always a bad thing, but we're not meant to stay in any state or place. We're not even, this isn't even our home, where we are right now. Right. Um, we're meant for something greater.

So, there's gonna be a very big change happening in all of our lives at death and, Every little change we experience here on earth prepares us a little bit for those bigger changes And I think it was just so much of that fear because when you accept truth

And Jesus is home. And if you want to go anywhere else, you can call Southwest Airlines. So, um, That was it. That was it. Like that, that was the beginning of me coming back to faith. It was the beginning of me, uh, restarting my life. It was the beginning of me having a new life. Um, there's, you know, we all have these demarcations in our life of different moments where it's like you, like life was never the same after that one thing happened. And this is one of them for me.

Life was never the same after this happened. It was like, okay. This is really hitting that reset button. This is like, okay, like, let's look at our life. Let's see what we're doing. Let's see what we're not doing. What do I need to change? What thinking do I need to change? What thoughts do I need to change? Which actions, all of it. And so that became that moment.

And then from there, um, what a lot of people now know me for in public speaking in my work and what I'm currently doing now is all after that moment of that demarcation, right? So it's from there, it was, you know, um, I spent about three years just working on myself, like what I call spiritual rehab.

Like I was just in deep spiritual rehab and, um, trying to untangle all of this stuff that got tangled up, um, over those 10 years of what I thought about myself, what I thought about God, what I thought about faith, what I thought about the church, um, what I thought about men, um, sin, shame. Learning how to forgive, learning how to let go, learning how to appreciate my future enough to make it affect my present.

And that just kind of led from all of that after about three years, which I had no intention of this whole life that I'm doing right now of ever happening. Um, but there was an opportunity for me that I did not create, um, where I, it was for me to share my story. And then that opportunity rolled into another one and then another one and then I was like, okay, I think I'm, I guess this is what I'm doing. This is what I'm doing. Is this what I'm doing? I don't know. What's this what I'm doing?

So, so I just started public speaking. I started sharing my story and then that kind of started developing into the work that I'm doing now. And then, um, and here I am now and I've got a. Now I do personal development and I actually do business coaching. So it's just moved. It's kind of evolved all throughout the time. And so here I am. That was a really long intro, but hopefully you can edit that to make it background info that we needed, but no, your story is so beautiful.

Thank you for sharing that. I think that it's so relatable on so many levels. Um, Whether, you know, you too, you know, listening are the New York model, which I feel like that's not most listeners, right?

But I think that there's something that like every woman can relate to, you know, I've heard it being called like the God sized hole in you and especially like, we talked about the beginning, like our personalities, like dreamer, go getter, like, there's just this like innate desire, I think, in women to like, To be great, right? To be seen as beautiful to like live up to this, like gift that the Lord has given them to live up to this potential.

And it feels like your story, like that's what you were trying to do. Like wherever you were placed, you were trying to reach that call, reach that given potential that the Lord placed upon you. And because of where. Your maybe values were or your eyes were set on it was being misplaced and I think that's something that a lot of us can relate to at some point in our life of just like I'm Trying to make it or I'm trying to do it, right?

Or I'm trying to like be the best that I can or maybe maybe you're not trying but you even want to and you wish You could and you just don't quite know Where to place it or you just don't quite know where exactly it is that the Lord is it's calling you to reach that so Let's, let's start, like, real simple here, like, what does it even mean, right, to reach your God given potential?

I think, like, this sounds kind of intimidating, and some people might be like, Oh, I don't know, like, God maybe doesn't have that big, you know, a big plan, like, that for me. But everybody has a God given potential and a plan, so what does that really mean? Yeah. I mean, so it's going to be completely unique and, you know, and unrepeatable for every single person.

So like, like just calm down when you ask yourself this question because you inevitably will want to naturally compare something about somebody else and what they're doing. And then you, and listen, maybe somebody, somebody's inspired you. Maybe they're, maybe they're, they're living out their God given potential and you're like, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What's mine? Is mine just like that? Probably not. Even if it's the same thing, you're going to do it in a different way, you know?

So your God given potential is you being fully you with God and it's allowing God to fully work in you and being very comfortable in that and doing that from a place of sincerity and humility and service. So any, I, it's so common. It's such a common. One of my biggest pet peeves is this very common phrase that I'm going to share with you now, and what you, you kind of touched on it, which is when somebody talks about this, like, what is your potential? Like, what is God?

Um, like what, what, what do you think God wants from you? Or are you, um, his plan for your life? Uh, the common phrase, like, Oh, I don't know. Like there, there's no plan for me. I'm just like, stop one. You are completely, you're completely negating scripture, which is the word of God. So you're wrong. You're just so wrong. It's not funny.

And you have to stop lying to yourself to make yourself comfortable because for you to step out and become who you are is going to make you so uncomfortable. And you're scared of what may people may think or say of you deal with that, but don't deal with this crap that God doesn't have a plan for you. Like it's nonsense. And it is a, it's a, it's a crutch of faith that people use. To not fully be all that they can be.

And when we talk about be all that you can be and be all that you can be with God, it does not mean that you have to go and abandon all of the people God's given you to go out into the world and do something completely secular. That's also something else. Like when you think about like achieving your dreams or your plans or the plans, God has God given, given each one of us that are unique to us.

It doesn't necessarily mean that you have to go and like be an entrepreneur or go be a missionary like no Actually that that might not be it But there is a plan and there are these things that we are called to do and so much of our plans that God gives Us to do are hidden And there, no one sees them except for a few people.

Definitely God. I mean, the most interesting thing about me has nothing to do with my public persona, has nothing to do with my Instagram, has nothing to do with the programs I run. It's the least interesting thing about me.

Like I've got so many more interesting things that I do that God's given me plans for that I'm doing right now, but you don't know them and you don't see them because their plans for me and my life and my children, my husband and our farm, you It's, we're, we're multifaceted. So I think we need to, again, calm down about this whole like dream and plan thing. Cause we get so overworked, like if I don't know what the whole plan is, then I don't, then I don't know what to do.

Then I'll, then I'll never know. And a lot of times what God gives us is little bits of breadcrumbs. He sometimes doesn't reveal the whole thing right away, but what, what do you think is your next best step? What do you think is your next best step in your life to really becoming fully you as God? Amen. For you to engage in his divine energy and power and work in your life with him What do you think is like your next best step like today? What could you do today?

And if you start there it will begin to the plan will be revealed to you and a lot of times that plan is something where it's going to be very similar to What we read in the gospels of peter calling out to or jesus calling out to peter in the boat saying, you know Step out of the boat. Um You Peter had no idea what was the next move. He had no idea. He's like, he's just calling me out of this boat and it doesn't seem like I should be walking on the water. I mean, it does.

I mean, I see him doing it, but I don't see, this doesn't make sense. And if Peter would stick, if, if, if we were Peter, we would never would have gotten out of the boat. Right, but when you start keeping your focus on Christ and know that you know what I'm gonna step out of this boat I'm gonna do the thing that's uncomfortable. I'm gonna do the thing that's a little scary.

I'm gonna start when I'm not ready I'm gonna start and it's gonna be messy and I might I might fall God's there picking you up and he's gonna redirect you and I think we kind of forget that God's a part of this plan and When we forget that God's a part of the plan, we put too much control and responsibility on our shoulders. But Christ says, take my yoke upon you. And when he talks about that, if you just remember what a yoke is, it's for two people. It's not for one.

So he's not saying, Hey, take my yoke. I'm going to, I'm going to get out of here. I think you can handle on your own like he's not doing that. He's saying no be under the yoke with me So if this is the plan for our life, then we have to trust that god will redirect us and recalibrate us when we take a step That's not quite right or didn't seem like it was the right way to go. Like god's god. Just let him be him You be you And just take some action. Absolutely. No, I agree with that so much.

And I think where people might get stuck with that is sometimes we feel like we hear that call or we kind of feel that call and it's not super clear, you know? It's kind of like a Holy Spirit nudge of like, this is the way, or like, take that leap, or, you know? And I think even though we feel that, we doubt it. And we're like, Lord, is this really you? Or like, how do I know for sure? Like, God, can you give me a sign that this is actually you? Like, I actually need to know.

So what are maybe some of those, like, concrete or practical things people can do if they feel that nudge or if they're ready to take a step? Like, what do they really do to go for it? Yep. Yep. Absolutely. So I'll take you through a few steps. Actually go through this in detail inside of power me. Perfect. We have like a whole session on this and it's, it's the, the, the title of that session actually is, is how, um, uh, our decisions determine our success.

And. What type of decisions we make will determine obviously what, where we're going and what we're doing. It sounds obvious, but we get really stuck of like, is this God's will? Should I do this? Should I not do this? And then you like get into like this thought loop and you never get out of it. That's a. Tactic of the enemy, number one, is just to sit there. So kind of keep in mind like you're in spiritual warfare when you're in that space.

So it doesn't mean necessarily to go and do that thing, but you're in the middle of spiritual warfare, whether you do that thing or you not do that thing. So one, you have to figure out, like, to be honest with you, a lot of these decisions that we have to make are usually amoral, meaning they're not like these grave moments of like, should I? Should I hurt this person and stab him with the pencil or should I not? Like, okay.

But I think you have a problem if you don't know the answer to that right away. Right. But a lot of the questions that we have are amoral. So they don't have a huge weight to them morally speaking. And that might relieve people just to know that, you know, just be like, okay, I can make a decision. And if it doesn't work out, it'll be all right. You know, um, so you have to figure out like one, does this follow God's commandments?

Or does it not so literally you'll pull up your ten commandments and you're going to go through This idea that I have to do this thing. Is it an alignment with god's law and love for me? Let's just say that it is now you're going to move on to Is this an alignment? With my state or vocation in life So, you know if one of my it's not but if one of my dreams was I want to be Delta Airlines pilot. I that's that's it. It's all I want to do right now.

I would say is this does this follow God's, you know, Ten Commandments, you know, I might get away with saying, yeah, okay, it is. And then I go to that second one and be like, does it align with your state? And vocation and life. And I'm like, well, let's see. I'm a wife. I got a lot of kids at home. Don't think me leaving for pilot school and then taking a job or I'm a full time pilot is going to be the best for that vocation. So then it stops me right there.

That's an extreme example, but you have to see like, what does, how does this affect my vocation and state in life? What are the positives? What are the benefits, pros and cons? And then from there, it's, it's, is this bringing me peace? Is there, is there peace about it when I can put away what other people think about it, when I can put away the fears I have of failing in front of others? Does it bring me peace? Does it bring me joy?

Like, is there something deep within there that I can say yes to or no to? And then from there, like sometimes like those three easy steps are just a quick way to like check yourself and then decide, okay, what would be the smallest first step I could make in the direction of this dream or goal or plan? Then you take that and you just need to get more information. A lot of times we just stay up in our head with our ideas and we don't do enough practical applied knowledge. So, okay.

Um, you, you, maybe you want to change careers or you want to change schools. Like, okay, have, have you interned at this new job that you're thinking About doing? Have you visited that school? Have you, um, whatever it might be. Blake, have you done anything? Have you taken any action that doesn't require a permanent step in that direction, but get you more information about it?

And those are the things that you can do practically to kind of start to see, um, how much more you understand that this new dream of yours, and if it's still something that you're very excited about, even after you start taking these steps through it. Yeah, no, that's beautiful. Thank you for sharing all that. It makes me excited. I want to take a look at that whole section of your, of your course. I think Those are such good questions.

I've never thought about before but like you said like basics, but like they help you make decisions And I think so many people struggle with decision making these days. It's like Especially big decisions. They're like paralyzing, you know, and it's just like, Oh my gosh, like what if I make the right decision or what I hear a lot is like, what if I make the wrong decision? Like, is that going to screw up God's plan for me?

Or like, am I not going to find the person for me if I choose this instead of this? And in the end, you know what you're seeing is like discernment takes action and you like taking a step in whatever direction, right? With prayer, like you said, like with discernment, um, not just like randomly. But, like, the Lord works with us and, like, has given us that will and intellect and, like, we can't mess up God's plan.

That's just impossible, you know, and he works with our life and even, like, your story, you're saying that, like, the, for all those years, like, you were away and, like, you know, you can say, like, oh, my gosh, I messed up the life God had for me.

But. But look at you now, like the Lord works with everything that we give him and all those small yeses that lead to bigger yeses that we give him to craft this amazing story for our lives, um, that will sanctify us and hopefully those around us as well. So that was really beautiful. Um, sometimes, you know, we put limitations on ourselves, even when we're taking these steps, or we start to hear these voices in our head and we start to believe, you know, things that might hold us back.

Um, what is your advice? To how to overcome these things, these voices or these limiting beliefs that we have. Yeah. Oh boy. I love this. I love talking about limiting beliefs. I have, um, I'm actually gonna be putting it out again really soon. I have a free masterclass on limiting beliefs and it is It is so good. It is so good because I'm just like, man, how many limiting beliefs do we hold on to that are running our lives?

It's very possible that your life is not being run by you, but it's being run by your limiting beliefs. And that's why you're so darn unhappy in your life. It's not because you've necessarily chosen it, but you've let your limiting beliefs run amok and they're on autopilot. Transcribed And you just, we have to stop that those voices of limitation and really see like, what is God calling? God is calling to us in scripture. He calls us to renew our mind. He calls us to not listen to the lies.

He calls us to keep our minds set on truth. This I mean, okay. If you call yourself a Christian, you've entered into the greatest personal development program in the world, by the way, so don't tell me you don't like personal development because if you call yourself a Christian, you like, you are a, you're a member, you've got the jacket, you're wearing the pen, like, it's done, okay? Christ shows us the way. I mean, I kind of joke around in my in my program.

My Paul is like one of the first personal development coaches, life coaches out there. I mean, he's constantly talking to the people right of Corinth and everything else saying, what are you doing? Do this. You were doing that. Like he is. Coaching us in this space and Christ gives us the entire plan in the whole way. So limiting beliefs. Let's let's go back to that one Okay, there is there's a lot of talk around limiting beliefs and around personal development. That's really unhelpful.

That's not very helpful So there's all this toxic positivity of like, you know what you can do anything you can accomplish anything talk to the universe Where's your mom? I'm like, okay. Well, okay Talk to the creator of the universe that might be more beneficial for you than the thing he created, right? Um, and then two, we have to use truth. So when it comes to eliminating belief, you have to acknowledge it. You cannot pretend it doesn't exist. You can't, um, just shoo it away.

You have to say, Oh, okay. This is a limiting belief like where is the truth in this belief? And then you really try to find the truth and like what's gonna happen is that possibly in these limiting beliefs you're gonna want to support it because Subconsciously if you do that it keeps you from from this taking massive action in your life And our brains are meant to are meant for survival So it wants you to just survive, but Christ calls us to elevate our minds to him.

So we have to be able to say, okay, where's the truth in this? Is this statement, would this statement literally come out of the mouth of Christ or would it come out of the mouth of Satan? And that's usually a really big help, right? It'd be like, would Christ say this to me? In truth, would he say it to me with his lips, with his words, where nothing out of his mouth could ever be anything but perfectly true? Would he say this? Would he say it like that? Would he say it with that tone?

Would he say it with that emphasis? Would he say it like that? And you have to be really honest with yourself with that one limiting belief that you're working on in this moment of like, is that really something that Christ would say to me? Now, would, is this something that the enemy would say, say to me? And then where does that belief, what does that belief turn into?

If that luminum belief turns into something where it puts you into a pit of despair, where it puts you into the point of like, ugh, I'm the worst. I'm like, the, I'm like, I'm not smart. I'm not, I'm like, you know, whatever it is. If that leads you down a path of depression or despair or anxiety or fear, We know right away that the, the, the root of that is not from Christ. And so it's just taking that time to be able to discern like, what are these limiting beliefs?

So I talk about limiting beliefs in my program and I call them muddy puddles. So they're like muddy puddles, right? And you have to learn to walk around the muddy puddle. You have to like, see it like, Oh, I see you. I see you. I see that you want to tell me that, Oh, this always happens to me, right? But it doesn't. It doesn't. And I'm going to choose not to get into your mess and you walk around it, you choose a different path.

So you choose to replace that limiting belief with an empowering belief, one that's also based in truth, but it leads you to positivity. It leads you to an empower belief of that is hopeful and full of truth. And so that's, you just have to start changing them out. I didn't encourage you for anybody listening to to take some time and either on your phone and your notes or something, but create like a locked note for yourself. And anytime you have a limiting belief, write that.

Piece of junk in there and then later go back and be like I need to reword this I have to reword this and

I'm never going to have friends. And they say these different phrases, and it's a really good reminder. I know as me as a mom, it's taught me that limiting beliefs don't just start in adulthood. They start when we're really young. And there was probably a trigger to those limiting beliefs. And if you can figure out those triggers, you might, you might start engaging in some really amazing and deep healing where you can let go and you can forgive.

And even if it's forgiving yourself for holding onto that limiting belief for so long, even, even if sometimes those limiting beliefs are given to us. Like we didn't create it. And so that's like a really hard thing, especially when we might've be raised, we might've been raised in an environment where limiting beliefs were just the norm. Sarcasm was the norm. And if that's the case, there could be a lot of limiting beliefs that are actually holding you back.

And setting out your future in front of you in a place where you really don't want to go anymore. So doing a little bit of work, and it's, it's not a, it's not easy and it's not quick. That's one thing I will say, like personal development work is something where it's a constant thing. You can learn the tools and the skills. relatively quickly, you have to apply them daily.

So what happens inside the brain, this is like the neuropsychology part of it, um, of limiting beliefs is that these, these beliefs become, they become grooves in your brain. And those grooves, the more that you say it, the more that you think it, and then the more that you act on it, they become deeper and deeper in your brain. And then they get triggered quite easily with any type of experience. And then you start, you just, it just drives like right into that groove.

Like, you know, you say that one thing and you feel that thing and then you do that thing, right? So to change it up, you have to layer those grooves with that empowering belief over and over and over. And it's a habit you have to create, but once you start creating it, something will trigger you and you'll start, Oh, going up to that new level of that new groove. And you'll start doing that. But they show this, um, In neuropsychology, research, and science, it's really amazing.

So it's true, God's made our brains to work with Him and not against Him. That is amazing. That reminds me, I've, I've been doing this Bible study with my friends, and one of the things of the Bible study, one of the things that they, like, ask you to do is to start doing, like, Biblical declarations. And that was something I had never really done in my life before. And actually, It was something that I kind of like, kind of laughed at a little bit.

I was like, Oh, wow, that really works for people. Like seeing all those like positive thoughts, like, does that really work? And you know, and like girls would like put the scripture verse on their mirror and like say it in the morning and be like, I'm empowering myself. And I was always kind of like, Hmm, that might work for them, but I don't know if that would be powerful enough for me. And I, I just never really tried it. And just recently in this Bible study, it came up and we all did it.

All the girls in the group, we like, we wrote it down and put it on our mirror or on our phone or whatever. And I just really underestimated like the power of the word. Okay. Like this wasn't just like a Pinterest, like, you know, happy quote that I found online. It's like, no, we're using like the Lord's word in scripture, which like, is like a sword in battle.

And in those moments where I was experiencing like fear or nervousness or anxiety, and like, I would start to say this scripture verse that I, that I memorized, that was like my declaration. It was like, Physically different, you know, like a piece wash over me a strength, like a confidence, like all of a sudden I'm like, no, like I can do all things through Christ. You strengthen to me like it's him. It's not me.

So that just reminded me of that because I love how you're, you're phrasing like, okay, take that limiting belief. Let's rephrase that what is the truth that the Lord would say to that and like you called it the grooves, right? Like you get into a new groove a new standard, but it takes practice and it takes Repetitiveness of like actually seeing that and believing that because I was listening.

Maybe it was a Recent podcast of yours or something like 80 percent of the thoughts we hear in our head or yeah are negative What negative it does take and we have practice and like repeating those positive ones over and over again to retrain our brain To know what the truth is Yeah, we have, we about, we have around average 60, 000 thoughts a day and 80 percent are negative. This is in general for most people. You want to know why?

Like, I don't say you want to know why, like this is the only answer, but like, uh, if you find trouble in your life, it could just be your thought light. Like our, the quality of our life is determined by the quality of our thoughts. Bottom line, the quality of your life is determined by the quality of your thoughts. And if our thoughts are not on truth, if they're not on the things that are above, the things that are good, true, and holy, then your life will be affected by that.

And the language you use, the language, oh my gosh, I have, uh, Mari, I have a whole, like, section on language and I love that session so much in Power Made Perfect because it's like, people, your language matters. If you walk around, when everybody asks you, how are you? You're like, I'm fine. Um, I'm good. I'm fine. If you use fine for everything, like, you'll have a fine life. Who wants a fine life? I want a magnificent life. I want like a, Extraordinary life.

I want a life where I can just give all of this joy and energy to my children and my family. Like, that's the life that I want. Then I have to change my words. If I'm using fine all the time, or if I'm, if I describe all of my feelings as fine, or if my husband says, Hey, what's wrong? I'm fine. I'm fine. Oh, you're not fine. You're not fine at all. And we all know that. Like, it's a funny little thing. Like, oh, no, I'm fine. I'm fine. It's fine. Everything's fine.

I know for humor, it's funny to laugh at. But the reality is, is that your life is not a comedy show. You've got one life to live and you don't know when you are going out. We don't know the last day. We don't know the last minute. We don't know the last breath. Every thought, every word is accounted for. And like you said, like these declarations, yes, spiritual affirmations are so beneficial, so beneficial.

And, um, I'll give you the link if you want to give it to people, but on my website, I have a whole free download of script, scripture affirmations that you can take. These are so wonderful and it shows you the scripture right next to it. And these are just affirmations you can say because they're based in truth. I mean, if the word of God literally created Our world, what could it create in you?

If you took on the word of God and began to say this, um, one of my deck, my declarations or spiritual affirmations is, um, everything is always working out for us. That is. That's what I say. It's from Romans 8 28. Everything is always working out for us. I have said this at the best of moments of my life when I'm like, Oh, everything is always working out for us. Like, it's so clear. Like, look at this. It's happening. You know, everything is always working out for us.

Um, I've said this during days when I'm exhausted. I have no more energy for anything or anybody. And then I have to go do something else. You know, like everything is always working out for us. I've said this at the graveside of my daughters that I've buried. Everything is always working out for us. It's when you, when God will lead you to something that he wants you to hold on to with his word.

And when you, when you do, when you hold onto it, it's not become like the, you know, mantra or declaration, whatever you want to call it, of our entire family. Our entire family says this, I mean, um, dozens a time a day, honest to God. Like it's something that mindset work is so big for me and my family with my kids and my husband too. Like we all work on it because the enemy is here to attack us. Um, and mind, spirit, and body.

And we have to begin to do the work to protect ourselves so that we can do God's work and be a part of that mission for him. So yeah, I love all the things with script like scripture affirmation. It's so good. I love it. I'm definitely going to go check out that download and we'll make sure to put the link in the show notes too so people can check that out because it has been transformational in my life as well. Um, so good before we wrap up, I want to touch on one last thing.

Your message of babies and dreams, I think is one that our world needs to hear today. And women, especially, um, I was a focus missionary for a few years on the college campus. And so I walked with women for a few years and they were trying to live their faith. And they also, a lot of them were very career driven as well. And they also had these dreams of being wives and mothers. And it is.

So beautiful to see women with dreams and like I said in the beginning like I feel like the lord has just placed This beauty on our hearts as women to like like fulfill, you know, like fulfill this call and to be great and to be beautiful Um, and I think women are getting conflicting messages and we know this is true It's not even I think like I know women are getting conflicting messages both from secular sides and even From some circles in the catholic world, you know In the secular side you

see like Oh, like you have to climb the corporate ladder to be successful or like motherhood is unimportant and like, that's not what your focus should be. And then sometimes even in some Catholic circles, it's like, you should just be a stay at home mom. And like, you don't need a career. And like, you know, those dreams that you have for your job, like are not good. Like you just need to be at home with the kids.

So, um, what advice or like what words of wisdom would you have to say with women who kind of like feel this pull of both and just are lost in the midst of all these messages? Yeah. So this is, it's, it's slightly, it's a slightly nuanced conversation, so it's not, um, it's not so easy. It's not going to be a 15 second clip on social that's going to solve this debate as much as some would like it to be.

Um, but yeah, I, I, what, as you know, I 100 percent stand behind babies and dreams and I will to the end, to the, to the day I die, God love me, God forgive me for it, but that's what I do. Um, so one. What can women do when they're hearing these conflicting messages, especially if you are in a position where you haven't entered into either one of these things? Um,

If God calls you into space, we're also, he's asking and presenting you opportunities that again, don't conflict with his 10 commandments and don't conflict with your vocation, but could even potentially help it or support it. In a way, that's when you're like, okay, maybe, maybe this could work out and can it work out? Yes. Is it balanced perfectly? No, not at all. You don't do a hundred percent of both.

Um, there have been moments of my business where I've given more time to the business in these short moments and these short sprints that are carefully planned out with my spouse. Um, most of the time my business gets a lot less of me than I give to my family. Rightly so, because that's the right order. Yeah. But I'm still able to do the things that I do and I've learned a lot of things.

And this is what I do in my business coaching is I help other women save time, effort and money to do them effectively, but not take forever to do them. And you know, it's just, Mari, it's one of those things where, You never want to put a baby over a dream, right? That's not everywhere. That's not what I talk about. That's not what I do whatsoever, but to say that.

to say that the baby is the only thing that the only dream you can have and the only thing that you can do just like whoever saying that is somebody else it's not god like keep in mind you need to be talking to god you need to be praying and having good spiritual counsel i think there's also something here we have to talk about or at least mention and i think it's really important to mention this because this gets overlooked a lot there are a lot of women that i work with In the business

coaching side of my business that have to have kids. Um, some of them are married, some of them are not. And they would give their right arm to stay at home with their kids and be a full time mom. Yeah. They would do anything, anything in the world. Like it makes me tear up because they would do anything in the world to do that full time job of those stay at home moms that want to bring their pitch forks and their fire and to burn down everybody who says babies and dreams.

They would love your life as life has it. Their husband died. Or they're divorced or they're separated or they never got married and it didn't work out. And now they're in a position where they're like, I have these babies or a baby. And I have now, I have to work to support them. And they'll come to me like, Leah, can you help me so I can make more money in my business to create more leverage so that I can provide a little bit more. And you know what? I'm like, I'm your coach. Let's go.

Let's do it. Right. I'd be happy to help you because we don't know. We don't know the backstory to all of these other moms who are working like to say that just because a mom works that she's neglecting family or her vocation or God's call is just asinine. Yeah, it's just completely unfair. You don't know the background. You don't know the bank accounts. You don't know the desperation that some of them are Are facing and wall and some of them are working to get out of the workforce.

They're like, I'm doing this so I can actually leave. But for the next five years, I have to be in the space. I don't know another way. I can't see another way out other than I have to stay in this job and work or do have this business or run my online course.

So. I just think that that needs to be said when we talk about babies and dreams, and I haven't actually ever had the chance to even say this, even on my own podcast yet, so thank you for giving me time to say it here, because there's a lot of ladies out there who are trying to keep it together, and we don't need to be beating them down because we think that our dream should be their dream, or our life should be their life, because you don't know the cross people carry.

You just don't and God's made us amazing and good And he wants to accomplish so much more in us than we even will allow him. Yeah So it's just kind of letting him allow allowing God to fulfill all the dreams He has for you in your life because there's more than just one friends I promise you there's more than one. No, I love that. Absolutely.

And I think, yeah, if you've, if you're listening and you feel yourself at a crossroads of, you know, I have to pick one or, you know, I don't know yet what the Lord is calling me to obviously apply all the amazing tips we've heard today. But I think what I've learned in my life is that it really comes down to surrender and it really comes down to the Lord's plan over mine and how his plan is always better than mine.

Even Even if I thought mine was great and I had my life perfectly planned out and at this age, I would do this and this and this and then you get there and the Lord shows you like, yeah, that was, that was a good idea, but I have a better one, actually. Um, and those things will come to fruition with a full.

Full heart of surrender, whether that's, you know, stay at home motherhood or being a mother at all or achieving this big dream or getting your business out or whatever it is that is on your heart. I think ultimately I want people to walk away knowing like, yes, like you can reach your God given potential. You can reach all these dreams. But with that.

Always keep a spirit of surrender and like, like a hands open posture, you know, of like, Lord, like whatever it is, like I give you my life and I'm ready to receive like whatever it is that you have for me. I love that. That's so good. Yes, yes, absolutely. I mean, I, I can't say anything to that. It's so perfect. Well, thank you, Leah. This has been such a beautiful and inspiring conversation. I know so many women are going to be blessed by it.

Uh, where can people find you and learn more about you? Yeah, you can just find me on my website leahdarrow. com.

I'm on all the social things So if you need a DM me or whatever feel free to shoot me a DM if there's something in particular that I've said that you want more information on just feel free again to look at my podcast my website or shoot me a DM because I will be happy to guide you in a direction that can give you more information and If anything just you know Stop listening to the clowns like, you know, like there's always gonna be clowns in this world who are just going to be Spitting out

clown energy and to stay away from those people, like start, start creating a group of winners around you, like a players around you who want God at the center of their life and they want to go for it. They want to take massive action. They want to do good things and they want to accomplish greatness. Like that's what, that's where you need to be friends. Yeah, absolutely. I'm like clapping, snapping everything over here. Okay. That is all we have for you guys today.

Thanks so much, Leah. You're welcome. Thanks for having me.