The soda. I have to tell you something that's a little bit crazy. Um, there are several parts in this episode where it cuts out father Sassy's voice. And it didn't cut out our connection. Just his, we could hear him the whole time. You can hear our responses and everything, but you literally can't hear what he's saying. And it happens to be when he answers questions about communion or, um, sexual sin or same-sex marriage, or kind of caught button topics.
Or when he's talking about occult practices and how those open doors to evil spirits. Um, That a certain, somebody might not want people to be hearing. So, um, this is just a reminder that the Lord is real and evil is real, and he's going to try and fight against the truth being shared. Um, so I'm going to be popping in and out at certain parts where it cut out and you can't hear father's answer. And I'm going to fill in what he did say that I felt like was important that got missed because.
We're not going to let this happen. We're not going to let these amazing answers and there's amazing resource. Um, Be lost. So if you hear me coming in and out, that's probably why it just randomly cut out at a really prime spot where father was answering something with some bold truths. Um, I'm going to come in and replace the silence with what he actually said, and then you'll get back to father. So. All right. Without further.
All because it is a. Hey, I'm your host, Mari Wagner, and you're listening to the ever be podcast where faith meets lifestyle. I'm so excited you're here, whether you're a new listener or a longtime follower, I know there's something here for you. Pull up a chair and listen in for insightful real life conversations and actionable steps on how to claim the full life God created you for. If you're a woman desiring to live a Christ centered life in today's modern world, then this is for you.
Welcome to Ever Be.
Alrighty, we got Father Sasse on the podcast today. Father is a dear friend of ours. Um, he was our chaplain when we were missionaries at the University of Nebraska Lincoln. Um, he was my very first real priest friend and honestly, still my only, I don't really have a lot of priest friends. So, so still my favorite priest friend. Yep. Low bar. My favorite priest friend. Low bar. So, Father, do you want to introduce yourself, um, so that our listeners can get to know you?
Yeah, thanks, Maury. I'm Father Alex Sassi. I am the assistant pastor at the Newman Center, the college campus, Catholic Church at the University of Nebraska. So I do that. And I also serve as the vocations director for the Diocese of Lincoln. So I work with seminarians. So, um, yeah, it's my 5th year as a priest. So I'm still kind of like toddler. Moving into, um, like adolescence priests. Um, so I'm still learning, but love the priesthood, love Nebraska.
it was a real joy to be with Trey and Mari for a while and just walk with them and have fun with them and be their first priest friends. So that was a lot of fun. you know what? I was just talking with someone about your guys's wedding the other day.
I love that.
of Fort Collins. Yeah. Incredible.
So iconic. It, it brings me so much joy when people say that. And it's very often that people are like, I was telling somebody about your wedding the other day. I'm like, wow. What an honor to have our wedding be talked about all the time. I think also it's probably one of the most noteworthy experiences a Nebraskan has had in, in their life.
Yeah, and I might be wrong about this, but um, you walk down to the song walk down the aisle the song ever be?
Yes, father. That's so cool. You knew, you
was like, Oh snap. I'm like, that's, this is the kind of wedding we're going to have. Like, this is going to be, everyone's
right from the beginning. Yup. Tears started right away. Yeah. Episode. You should go back and listen to like very episode one, cause it breaks down literally me walking down the aisle, why I chose that song, why I chose the name of the podcast, basically. So, um, but one thing, as you were saying, experiences that Nebraskans have had. This is little just be a funny anecdote, but I think it was like my first week in Nebraska or at least my first month in Nebraska.
You were committed to taking us all on a Nebraska day and giving us like the Nebraska experience. Okay. And for context, I grew up in Washington state and West coasters. Don't think about the middle of the country. So, like, I don't, I didn't know anything about Nebraska or anything like that. This was all very new. Yes, and you took us to some farm, I think, and we shot guns. I shot my first, what was it, a rifle, I think? I think a shotgun.
shot a
A shotgun? I don't think you can handle a rifle. Well, it was one of the big ones. Yeah, that would put you on your back. Oh.
I, I have something to contribute to this story from
Okay.
is remember I was teaching you how to shoot them like this, how you hold it, you know, you pull the trigger. And when you, when you shoot, you're going to get super excited and you're going to want to turn around and celebrate with all of your friends, but you can't turn the gun towards people. It has
Yeah. I got it.
were doing, you know, clay pigeons. So you throw a target and Mari hit it. I mean, every,
I got it.
smoked it. I mean, everyone went nuts,
Nuts.
She took the shotgun and started turning around. So I reached out and grabbed the
Jumping up and down. And I'm jumping up.
why don't I hold that? And then she's like, thank you. And she turns around everyone. She's like, yeah,
I actually, I think I have a video. I think Alex recorded a video of the whole thing, so I'm going to have to add that to this, this section here so people can see because that was, yeah, a dangerous but funny moment for all of us.
We love Jesus and and corn and cows and guns. So
Yeah, yeah, good life. It's the good life.
Yeah, that's right.
honestly, Nebraska is a very special place in our hearts, so don't hate on Nebraska. Um, okay, well, we're gonna get into this Q& A. It's going to be a very exciting, juicy Q& A. We have a Yeah. A little bit of a spicy Q and a, we had a lot of questions, so we're definitely not going to be able to get to all of them. I think literally I'm looking at like 50 questions right now.
So Trey and I will kind of look through and pick out kind of some top ones and we'll go from there and, and yeah. Did you, did you find one that you liked? I did not find one. Okay, we'll, we'll start off with maybe an easy one. What, when was the moment you realized your vocation as a priest?
Oh, wow. Well, my story is I grew up Catholic and I was, uh, my parents were great in raising us in the faith. I mean, I was always around the sacraments, went to Catholic school. And I grew up in the city of Lincoln, which is, you know, kind of like a little bit of a Catholic bubble. So almost everybody that I knew was Catholic and.
I didn't really think about the priesthood at all growing up, and then when I got to the end of high school, I just started getting more into my faith and people were encouraging me in that. And I started, you know, going to daily masses and going to confession more regularly and all that this idea of the seminary came bubbling up into my mind. at the time, I thought. There's probably like a 0 percent chance I'm called to be a priest. However, I feel like there's something different about me.
Like, I don't know what it is, but I just feel like I'm meant for something different, and I don't know what that is, and so I need a place to figure that out. So, um, I discerned and went to the seminary. Again, not expecting to be a priest, just really just wanting to discern my vocation. after my first year in the seminary, I had a incredible prayer experience in front of our Lord and the blessed sacrament. And he really just laid before me, here's what priesthood would look like.
And here's what marriage would look like. And he just offered it to me. And he said, Which one do you choose? I just felt this grace in my heart of, I think he wants me to choose the priesthood something tells me that I should. And so in that moment, after my first year in the seminary, I said, Lord, I, if you're offering it to me, I choose the priesthood. And my heart was filled with so much gratitude and so much, um, just exhilarating joy that I said yes to that and never looked back.
So I'd say that'd be like the moment that I was like, I know that I'm called to be a priest. So I felt really grateful it was early on. I think the Lord had to like snag me early on or I was out the door. So
So then you were, I imagine, super holy and pious as a high schooler then, right? Love it,
No, you know, I like, I just had this, um, this comp, my core lie. The thing I really believed is I need to be impressive in order to be loved. so for me, that's like, okay, I need to be impressive at sports and school and relationships and how I relate to other people. And I need to like, be a good Catholic boy too.
So really like was just another pin on my letter jacket of just creating this kind of false persona um, that really didn't get dismantled until a few years later of really trying to follow Jesus and listen to him and not listen to what the world thinks of me. Yeah,
yeah. That's great. All right. What is one misconception people have about priests or young priests in general? And like specifically young priests.
I think a misconception people have about young priests is that we didn't have other options in life. I kind of get that sense from people. Like I meet them and they're like, Oh, you're a priest. I can kind of, you know, see the hamster turning in their head. It's like, wow, that's really sad. Like so sad. You couldn't find someone to marry. It's so sad that no one would hire you. Like you couldn't become a convict, like anything. Apparently you had to become a priest. I chose to
I think it was your last resort. Wow. Wow. Yeah. I love hearing that. I think people.
I'm not really one of them, but I know some deeply, deeply talented priests that gave up careers, medicine, gave up, um, sports science careers. I don't know why it's the second one that came to my head, engineers, like. of it. People that were engaged to be married. I mean, have had a lot of options and the Lord came in and just offered something different. And they said yes to that. So I'd say that's a misconception.
Um, say another misconception that I find a lot is that people just assume because I'm young and I'm a priest that I immediately just like, um, and kind of hateful towards the world. Which is really interesting. I think people expect that if you're a Catholic priest, you're immediately like judgmental towards the world. Like I'm judgmental towards all these different fringe groups.
Or if you live outside of the church's teaching on sexuality or on any other thing, then immediately I'm like, I don't want to talk to you. I found for most young priests, that's just really not true. You know, when I meet someone that's very far removed from the church, there's a little part of me that's sad. And there's a little part of me that's excited.
And excited to be like, wow, well, this is why I got ordained is to be like Jesus and go to the people that are very downtrodden and proclaim the good news. Yeah.
Um, I think that makes a lot of sense, honestly, because I feel like, especially. Like younger priests, at least what I've seen in you, um, there is kind of a greater openness because I just feel like there might be like more understanding than maybe an older priest that's maybe grew up in a different time. Like this time doesn't scandalize you. What you see every day isn't scandalous to you. And you're not like, Oh my gosh, you're so horrible. You can't be ministered to or loved.
Um, so I think that makes sense. Okay. This is a really good question. Um, is it possible to go against God's plan for us? If we have free will, but ultimately God's plan is God's plan, is it possible to actually get off the plane? This was not,
question.
was about to say, I did not ask this question myself, but I might as well have, because this is a question I genuinely have.
question. Cause you start getting into like God's, What we call is like active will and this permissive will like the active will is what he is Actively laying forth for us to follow his permissive. Will is what he allows to happen Um, yeah, it is possible for us to go against god's plan Like god has a plan for us that he wants us to follow that he lays before us and really at every moment He's offering us an invitation to choose him we have the free will unfortunately.
Well, not unfortunately, but unfortunately we can choose against him And when we go against him, we are like operating outside of his plan. Now, the really beautiful thing is that we have a God who rescues and redeems. we choose to go like the wrong way and the Lord steps in and he says, okay, well, I'm going to create a new plan for you and bring you back into the fold. Like, I'm gonna bring you back to myself.
And so the way I see it, and I don't know how theologically correct this is or isn't to be completely honest with you, but the way I see
Okay.
is that we're kind of constantly messing up the plan that God has for us. And he's constantly just rewriting it, like, to accommodate for our weakness. And, this, the ultimate example of that would be the cross. Yeah. It's like the plan was for us to be like Adam and Eve, to walk in the garden with the Lord, to live in that beautiful relationship. um, and then sin entered in. And so what was God's response to sin? To send Jesus.
it's like, you know, at the Easter vigil, we sing this song called the Exultant, and there's that great line in there that says, um, fault that won for us so glorious, so great a Redeemer. I mean, it's just, it's so lovely that that's the Lord's response is like, okay, you send no problem. I'll give you my son and you can all become my children.
that's literally what I was telling Mario last night. We had, so we were, we've been watching the chosen last night. It was wild. This was last night when I had
last night.
actually had an existential crisis and maybe we can get into some of those questions for the first time in my entire life. Actually, you can, as far as Sasse instead of me, these theological questions, um, But we were watching the chosen synopsis here. We've been watching the chosen. It's our first time watching it. I mean, I know it came out years ago, but we literally didn't start it until like may or something like that. We're hooked, man. I mean, it is
It's so
so, so good and we just,
with Mary Magdalene,
Oh, wrecked me, wrecked me.
her name and I was like, Oh, no.
Yeah, no, I mean,
okay.
those first, I think those first like five episodes, like whenever Jesus came on the screen, my heart literally fluttered. I was like, Oh my gosh, he's,
Yeah.
here. He's gonna do
Yeah.
But anyway, so we just finished the last episode of the third season. So like, we're done with what's out and it I mean, this isn't a spoiler alert because it's in the Bible. Right. But he's like about to enter, uh, Jerusalem on the donkey and like the whole like passion is about to start soon. And so anyways, I just went down this rabbit hole of questions of like, why did this have to be God's plan? Like, why did it have to be a crucifixion? Why did it have to be suffering? Like,
Yeah.
why were there so many hard things in life? And it led down literally, like it always, it always came back to like God's original plan and Adam and Eve and sin. And Trey kept telling me like, Oh, happy fault, Mari. You have to go back to this line. Oh, happy fault. I love that line.
Good
love it. I think the reason I love it is because you sang it at our first like real experience of a beautiful Easter vigil mass. We were missionaries and it just cut to the heart. It's beautiful.
Easter vigil hits different, that's for sure.
It always does.
Mm-Hmm.
so one of the questions that I, sorry to cut you off, but were you done with your answer for that previous question?
hmm.
your questions last night, Mari was like, why did it take so long? Like, why? Or I guess 2 questions. Yeah, I guess the 1st 1 is like, okay. Yeah. So Adam and Eve sinned, sin entered the world. We're broken. We're separated from God. Why did it take so long for the, the, the plan to come to fruition, like for the plan of salvation to happen? Yeah, that was one of my questions. And Trey put it in terms of like business terms for me. And he was like, God has a launch plan.
Okay. Of like bringing everybody back in. And this is all part of the launch plan. And I'm like, okay, but we're 2024 years in, like, If he loved us so much and like wanted us to be with him and like be saved, like,
Mm hmm.
is so different, but like, wow, that's a, that's a really long time. And not to mention the however many thousands of years before Jesus came. Yeah. Oh, and that was a whole thing too. I'm like, well, if he realized right away, like, oh shoot, humans are sinful. Not that he would not have known. I mean, he would have known. Right. But like acknowledges. Yeah, there's sin. There's brokenness. I need to give him a savior. Why did it take so long for him to bring Jesus?
Why wasn't it just, like, right away? And then you didn't have all these Problems and have to wipe out the world with Noah. And so, yeah.
I mean that's such a good question and ultimately gonna punt a little bit because
Okay.
it tells us that, you know, in the fullness of time God sent his son. he sent them prophets, he sent them the law, he sent them all these things, but And then in the fullness of time, he sent his son. there's something mysterious about God's timing with it all. Like, why? I mean, we can look at some human reasons. I mean, the thing that I think of is the world because of, you know, the Greeks and then the Roman empire had become largely connected.
because of that, you're in like the perfect time for the gospel to spread to everybody. And so there is an element where. makes sense humanly why he came when he did, but really where my mind goes, why did it take so long? Why was the cross necessary? All of that. I kind of always go back to, um, St. Thomas Aquinas. You know, he was asked the same thing. Like, why was the cross necessary? And he said, um.
Oh, you have not considered the full weight of sin, which I think is just such a good answer. Like you have not considered like the full weight and how bad sin actually is. I mean, we look at it and who knows how long it took from Adam and Eve to Jesus, right? Let's just say it's 5, 000 years. I'm not making claims about anything. Let's just say it's 5, 000 years. it's like, okay, that means at some level, like, At least the first sin took 5, 000 years to repair. Like that's how bad sin is.
Wow.
think it's worth us looking at it that way, where it's like, why did it take so long? Maybe that's just how bad sin is. It takes that long to repair and to reconcile.
Yeah. That reminds me of a point that a professor I had in college said was one of the reasons he gave for this concept of the fullness of time
Mm hmm.
was that the form of punishment of the crucifixion was The, like, most extreme form of evil that has ever entered the world. And so like, that could be a reason, like, Jesus waited until humans were capable of such evil so that then he could endure like the most, the worst sin for out of love for us, for the salvation of the world. And so there's like another like piece to that.
If you
Obviously that's just.
and really Catholic, you could probably, um, you know, it took so long because it took that long to, to set in place forming Mary, who would be the mother of God, you know, here is this like one that is perfect. And,
Yeah.
think about St. Joachim and Anne, her parents, it's like, these would have been had to have been pretty hand chosen to be the right parents to be the grandparents of God. I mean,
Yeah.
2000 years or however many years to form Mary.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Ultimately, what I came down to was there's a lot of mysteries and there's a lot that like, we're just never going to understand God's ways until, you know, we're in the fullness of eternity. And like, even that point of like, well, it took this long to, To make Mary kind of what I've been reflecting on is like, well, in the end, God is God and he could have chosen whatever.
I mean, he could have made the perfect people earlier to give birth to Mary, but in the end, like it just continually shows like he does not change us to be at his level, but he constantly.
Yes.
In his patience, like comes down to our level and waits for us to be ready, waits for in our humanity to get to that point, right. To develop historically certain things for, you know, the certain people to come into place. And he doesn't rush us. And he just like, it comes down to us in so many different ways. So that's kind of where I'm at right now.
Great point, Mari.
I'm just going to fly to Nebraska soon. So we could just have the full conversation because we literally, We literally went to bed at like one in the morning. We talked about this for like two hours. And Trey was like, where were you when you were a missionary for two years? Like we went through the story of salvation. I was like, yeah,
Mari?
I feel that totally. Okay. All right. To stay on the scripture theological train,
Mm hmm.
does God in the old Testament seem less patient and less loving and more angry?
Yeah, that's a good question. That's the one I get a lot as a priest is, you know, the old Testament, God seems really like violent and vindictive and all of those things. And then Jesus is just so nice and he's just so gentle, you know, that's a lot of ways that people throw it out there. Um, you know, I would say that in the old Testament, Um, the Lord is dealing, as he puts it, with a very stiff necked people.
I mean, the people are just like wrapped in sin and they are just to it and they're just running their heads against a brick wall. And so the Lord is having to deal with them a little sterner, quite honestly. And he's dealing with it. You have to understand the whole story. It's like, There's all of these different tribes, all these different nations, and this just tiny little one, Israel, is where salvation is going to come from. So God is like, jealously trying to defend Israel.
Like, I have to defend this little tiny nation, so that I can save the world. so like, the other nations that come and attack this little tiny nation, God is like, okay. gotta like take care of them. And when Israel is like acting the fool, he's like, all right, well, I got to take care of you too. And it's just like, God is constantly dealing with these children that are quite frankly just kind of brats and are just stuck in sin.
And so he is more firm, but it also comes into that answer of in the fullness of time, God sent his son and Pope Francis just has, thought had the most lovely way of putting it. He said that Jesus Christ is the face of the father's mercy. So it's like, there actually is no difference between what we see in the Old Testament and the New Testament. It's the same God. Jesus is just the face of the Father's mercy.
perhaps in the Old Testament we saw more of the Lord's justice, we especially see His mercy in the New Testament. So, again, it's a little bit mysterious.
There's also an element of, within the scriptures, there's a, Like a literary style that's being written to, know, they're writing in the way that they understand that they're writing in a way that is also showing God to be the protector, to be the father, the one that's like caring for the nation and we'll like, again, it's just taking care of this tiny little nation, but in doing so in huge ways. So all of that, I think comes into play. Okay. Okay.
Uh, okay. We have a couple questions that I feel like pertain to like the pastoral side of your, your Role your life, um, as a priest. So first, maybe this is pastoral, maybe not. I don't know. We have some on confession that I'm going to get to. I just mean like things that go under your job description as
life.
Yeah. Specifically to a priestly life. One, what is going through your mind at the moment of consecration when you're holding Jesus? Try not to cry, Father.
I, um, you know, when it comes time for the consecration and I lift up our Lord, I'm like offering him to the father. it's like a great, I'm praying to the father. I'm saying like, father received the heart of your son what I'm praying. Like father, here's this heart that you've given to us. And I pray that you receive it and you give it right back and that we can live with this heart.
So it has, it's very much like a conversation with the father about what I'm holding or who I'm holding, which is Jesus.
Yeah.
every once in a while, something else will come in, but in general, that's kind of what I go back to. Um, now as a priest, It's I'm like anybody else. I'm trying to stay attentive during mass too. Like there's distractions. I have things that happen before and after mass and so even during the consecration I'm trying to stay locked in but distractions are a very real thing. So if you get distracted in mass, hey, guess what? Your priest does too.
Whoa. I've never heard that.
yeah. I'll tell you what. I can't tell you the kind of things I've thought about during mass. I'm like Oh, where did that come from? Like the weakness of man.
You're like, lock in. Lock in.
I'm like, I'm like, well, the Huskers win this weekend. I don't know. Behold the lamb. Oh wait, just a second. Sorry. Behold the lamb of God. You know, like trying to stay focused
It's so human, it's so human. This is a funny one. Um, do priests judge you if you accidentally lick them when they give you communion on the tongue? Very important question.
You know what? Like it's the priest's fault. You should judge the priest. If you like him, if you are constantly like licking the priest, that's not your fault. That's the priest's fault. The priest should be giving communion in such a way that you're not having any kind of contact. So I feel very strongly about this. Now there's certain people that just are like, um, they're like, um, I don't know how to put it.
Like the coin slot
like, they bite, they bite. Like you hold out the Eucharist and they're like, and I'm like, no. Chill, like the Lord is coming to you, just receive him that you don't, I mean, it's just
for everybody.
the reception of communion, it constantly baffles me how humble our Lord is. I'm like, how this is the way you chose and it is. And I'm like, you are so humble. Like one, I'm the one that's giving people you, which is already humbling. But then like the way people receive you too. I'm like, Oh man,
Okay. Let's talk about that a little bit, because I used to always receive on the hand. And then I think it was actually a conversation I had with you once
Oh
where I converted to receiving on the tongue. So
Yeah,
opinion on, or like, what's the difference between receiving on the hand and the tongue? And why would you prefer one?
Yeah. Well, in the United States, I mean, both are offered, like you can receive on the tongue, you can receive on the hand, you can receive standing, you can receive kneeling. So you have a lot of options. All of them are valid. You know, if you go places where they tell you that's not, You know, they're, they're probably not correct. Like all of those are valid options of receiving.
Um, yeah, for myself, you know, I, I do prefer receiving on the tongue and it's just because I think it's such a place of vulnerability and receptivity. It's like you're before the Lord and your hands aren't touching him. I mean, when you're receiving on the hand, which can be so beautiful, but there's also an element of control.
Okay.
You know, like I'm reaching down and I'm picking up the Lord and I had control of the Lord entering me. But when you're receiving on the tongue, it's like you're presenting yourself and you're like, Lord, I yield all control to you and I think there's something kind of beautiful about that
Wow. I never heard it that way.
on the hand and I'm not saying you don't. Love the Lord. You're not receiving him reverently. That's not what I'm saying at all, because you're very much allowed to do that. And you're allowed to do that for a reason because it is a good way to receive the Lord. But I just think receiving on the tongue just adds a number of different to to consider, um, how our Lord comes to us.
Yeah. I mean, what converted me to the reception on the tongue was the concept of receiving on the tongue is it's a posture of receptivity and I'm receiving the Lord as opposed to like grasping. At the Lord. And, uh, yeah, you might not be grasping at the Lord when you're seeing me on the hand, but it's just that, that posture is different. Uh, and yeah, I really changed my heart and I felt like I, I am more reverent towards God when I'm on my knees, receiving on the tongue, then standing.
So I just feel more reverent and posture is huge. Like that's why we have all the,
Yeah.
and downs during mass is because
It's
like our physical body is the way we worship too.
Yeah. And I do, I do like, um, You know, kneeling to receive community, but also just in general, because, uh, you know, ancient like medieval art would depict Satan without any knees. It was just super interesting. And the reason they would, because Satan doesn't have any humility. He can't be. So I do prefer that, but I said, when people come to mass and they're standing there receiving on the hands, I'm not thinking, oh, you lesser being, like, that's, that's
of course not.
It's
Yeah,
but, uh, yeah,
no, I love, I love kneeling too. And I, I love, and I think it's for me personally, a more prayerful experience when there is like a communion rail and we can all kneel. And one thing that I thought about when I kind of made that switch too was like, if Jesus presented himself in a physical way where I could see him as a person, if he was here as a person, I immediately would drop to my knees. Like that would be my my reaction.
So then I was like, I, when I was a missionary, like teaching all these girls, like, no, Jesus is actually here in the Eucharist. I was like, wait, okay. Jesus is like, I'm actually receiving the Lord. So why would I not kneel? And you know, for me, I'm like, if he was here and I could see him, I would immediately kneel and be like my Lord. And
yeah.
he is disguised in this piece of bread, but it is still the same. And so I was like, wow, like I need to be kneeling in this moment to receive him as well. Yeah.
little heartbreaking, honestly, because people will come up to receive and they're just so flippant about it. You know, it's like the body of Christ and they're like, amen, and they're like barely holding their hands out and they just like kind of throw the Lord in their mouth and take off and it's, it's sad. I'm like, Don't you recognize, like, what the pearl of great price that you've just received and,
Yeah.
I can fall into being lax in my faith as well, but like you said, trey, posture does make a difference. And I'll give you props for this Mari, like, every time you came up to receive. You just have like the biggest smile on your face. And I think it was for Jesus, not for me. I think you smiled at everybody, but like,
It's for Jesus.
Christ
It's not for you, father.
I was like, what could be both? It could be both, you know, it can be for Jesus and for me.
Yeah.
But yeah, so good job, Mari. You got,
Fakes. Ha!
receiving. It's
So good. Awesome. So good. Okay, moving on to confession. Do priests recognize people's voices when you're in confession, and do you remember people's sins?
Yeah. Good question. So I think every priest is a little bit different with this. I have met priests that I think really have. a gift of like, they forget everything they heard in the confessional and they're in just like a completely different zone. I'm not 1 of those people, to be honest with you. Like, if people come to confession, sometimes I can recognize their voice
Mm hmm.
it is. And will say this, though, when I recognize that it's someone's voice, and it chose to go behind the screen because they have an option to go both. when I, when that's the case. I intentionally, like, tell myself, okay, I'm going to treat this person as if I don't know them.
Mm.
even if I know exactly who you are, I'm like, nope, they want to go anonymously, I'm going to treat them anonymously. And I'm not going to think, oh, this is so and so, or something like that. As far as do we remember the sins that we heard in confession? Um, I found more often than not, not really. I don't. Part of that is because I hear an hour of confessions every day. So at this point, I've heard like over 10, 000 confessions and
Wow.
kind of blends together and everyone sins. And it all is like, it's kind of like asking a garbage man, like, you know, do you remember people's garbage that they have in their house? It's like probably not unless it was like unbelievably like ratchet and then
Yeah.
well now I, now I remember. Yeah. And you know, but I am, I'm pretty stern with myself of like trying not to associate that in my mind. And I,
Yeah.
be like, Nope, that's, that's between the Lord and them. That's not for me to think about.
So staying on the topic of confession, Do you feel awkward when people confess sexual sins? And what is the best way to do it?
You hear them a lot. And so, um, I'm not going to say you get this desensitized to it, but a little bit. Like, it isn't awkward at all when people confess sexual sins. Um, I would say this is kind of weird, but when people get too graphically into detail, I'm like, you know, I actually don't need to know all of that. Like, you should confess your sins. You shouldn't just be like, um, I haven't been as chaste as I could have been. Like, okay, that's not really a confession.
Like, you need to say what you did. Um, but you don't need to give me the details. Like you can strike a good balance between those two. So should never feel afraid of confessing sexual sins because, um, everybody has sexuality and everyone struggles with sin. So it makes sense that everyone at some level is going to struggle with both of those. this
is kind of on the same topic, but the question is, uh, My boyfriend and I made the decision to have sex before marriage and now I regret it. Is there a way for us to still have a chaste relationship? We want to include God in our relationship, but don't really know where to start.
Yeah. What a great question. Thanks to whoever asked this. That's so good. Um, I would say one, there's absolutely a way for you to live a chaste relationship. Like that's always available to you. Even, even if you have been trapped in sexual sin, even if you and your significant other have been having sex for a long time, like you can still choose chastity, it might be a hard door to close, which is going to involve some pretty, probably difficult conversations with each other.
also it's going to involve practically speaking, just some boundaries, like things that you were doing before. You're probably not going to be able to do any more in like places that you're putting yourself into near occasion of sin. Gotta eliminate those, but I'm such a firm believer in what I'm about to say. And I talked to people in marriage prep about this a lot.
Um, I just firmly believe that if, if the, the guy and the girl go before the Lord and they're like, Oh Lord, we have messed up, but we want to start over. Like we want to be virginal on the day of our wedding
Hey, it's me again. It cut out here. And what father was saying was that he firmly believes that if a couple go to the Lord in prayer and Really seriously and with a sincere heart and a sincere prayer say Lord, please restore our virginity Please restore Our chastity we want to be Like virginal on the day of our wedding.
We want it to be as if it was our first time we want to Uh be pure on the day of our wedding He believes that the lord firmly will answer that prayer and almost like renew that virginity within the people and within the couple
Like I firmly believe the Lord answers that prayer. Like I think he gives the thing news, the virginity, like help us to Turn away from this sin and then make it that like on the night of our wedding It's as if for the first time we had sex and then trusting that God who? Sent his son to die for us who created the stars who makes a little piece of bread into himself can probably do that
And it's probably like willing to and overjoyed just as when you go to confession for anything else, like probably willing and overjoyed when you come to him and say like, make me new, like in this aspect, like, of course he would want that.
Yes. He loves it when we ask for those things
Yeah. This is where we can get a little more spicy. Potentially. Do priests get tired of the Karen church ladies? I feel like I'm a young version of them. LOL.
Oh
I don't know who asked
funny.
this, but I love that they identified with them and yet felt the need to ask it too. I mean, your, your experience as a priest is a little bit different being at a college campus. True. So answer what you can.
Yeah. Yeah, exactly. I do. I primarily serve people that are between the ages of like 18 and 25. So we don't really have like Karens as much. Maybe we have young Karens. I'm not really sure, but do we ever get bothered? I mean, if we're answering honestly, like absolutely. The, the stereotype that's being offered here is someone that is really pestering and tells the priest how to do his job. Who would enjoy that? Nobody would enjoy that. And so, yeah, that, that does get tiring.
But, I found this like the, the church ladies or the people that are really maybe difficult to get along with, um, or just get annoying. they are so dedicated. Those are some of the biggest prayer warriors in the entire church, like the church universal. They pray their butts off.
Yeah, totally. And you know what? I love that we're answering this honestly because I think like it brings again like a level of humanity to the priesthood and we all just need to remember like priests are humans. Like it's not like Jesus that was human and divine. It's like, no, you are literally just human. You experience everything that everybody else does. So let's just all remember that.
And you can flip the switch too. It's like, my goodness. Sometimes priests can be so grouchy and sometimes priests can be so weird. And, uh, do people ever get tired of that? Yes.
Yeah.
still appreciate that the priest, like is trying and you know, he is bringing the sacraments to them? Yes. Does that mean that the priest has to be like super weird? No, No.
he could probably
work on that. Like, does that mean, you know, I don't eat breakfast sometimes and I get a little hangry. that helpful for everybody else? No, but it's a part of my life.
Gotta eat your breakfast, father.
I know
Okay, did you ever date or fall in love before you became a priest? Shout
I did. I did shout out to the X's on the, on the podcast. If you're
out to the exes.
aren't, but shout out to the X's.
They're definitely not listening.
Okay, fair enough. Yeah, I did. Um, you know, marriage and family and all that is something that I was deeply attracted to and something that I'm like, yeah, I would absolutely want that. And that's really where I thought my life was going to go was to get married and have children. And so, um, I was definitely dating and discerning that and wanted that. And the call of God came in where the Lord was saying, I formed your heart for something different.
And I'm going to give you intimacy in a different way. And I'm going to give you spousal love in a different way. And I'm going to give you fatherhood in a different way. So, um, so I'm really grateful for those experiences of dating and discerning marriage and falling in love. Um, but I'm also really grateful that the Lord called me to something different.
Yeah, we're grateful for that too.
Yes. Yes,
Very grateful.
Yeah, it is funny. I'll say this, um, little spicy. uh, I live in Lincoln, which is where I grew up. And also where I went to high school and like where I dated. And so it is kind of funny, like when I'm out places and I'm like, Oh, I remember I took someone on a date here, you know, or you like see someone that you
You see people that you dated.
And neither people, neither person really knows exactly how do you respond to this? Like,
Right.
weird,
Yeah.
of like. What's it like for someone that's like, Oh yeah, I dated a person that became a priest. You know,
Yeah.
than it is for me. Like, I'm like, you're still a
normal human being. Probably.
I have a collar and a mustache now. So like, what are you? I'm sorry.
A mustache. Oh, that's funny. I love that. That was noteworthy. I actually think I like the mustache better than the full beard. Not gonna lie. Me too. I like the mustache.
Thank you. Thank
Yeah. No, it looks good. It
compliment the other day. They said it's giving Top Gun. And I'm like, Thank
is. I thought you were going to say it's giving Trey. Just kidding. It is.
Yeah, that's right. That's right. Trey.
Um, is it a sin to attend the wedding of an ex Catholic or someone who's not Catholic? What about a same sex wedding? Those are two different questions, but kind of on the same topic.
Yeah. That's a great question. And it's again, one that we get asked a lot, know, so I think the question boils down to this, if you have to baptize Catholic and then they choose to stop practicing and they want to get married outside of the church the eyes of the,
So, it cut out again here, but what Father was saying was that, When there are two Catholics that have both been baptized within the church, but then they chose to stop practicing. And then later down the road, they married, um, in the eyes of, oh yeah. the church. It wouldn't be a valid marriage because they are baptized Catholics. So in the eyes of the church, if two baptized, Catholics are not getting married in the church, then it is not a valid. Uh, marriage within the church. Okay.
Because they're supposed to be getting married in the Catholic church. so now I have to ask the question of, do I attend this wedding that is actually, I know it to be invalid, it might really harm my relationship if I don't go. And it's like, it gets really dicey. Um, the sin would really be like the sin of participating in scandal, like kind of giving your affirmation, giving your consent to something that is not right. And at some level is not right. Um, that can be the real danger.
I think the way that try to approach it, and it's a, it's kind of up to everyone's individual discernment with the different, you know, dynamics of your family and where you're at and all of that. I think if it's like an immediate family member, I think you, you should go. because. I'm just a big believer in playing the long game. Like, and the thing is, this marriage could turn into a valid marriage.
Hmm.
through the process of the church and what's called a con validation. Get your marriage blessed is how most people refer to it. They could get their marriage blessed and maybe they'll get their marriage blessed because
Me again. Okay. Here. Father was saying that you could make an impact in this family member who maybe doesn't have a valid marriage, um, by just being a witness to them and by inviting them, you know, at different points in the year when you see them or you discerning when the right time is, um, you know, maybe every Christmas you're like, Hey, like, have you guys thought about coming back to church? You know, like, why don't we go together?
Like invite them to go to mass with you or something like that. Just you're loving persistence and patience throughout the years and gently inviting them back to the church, um, in the right times and to invite them to go with you. Maybe that persistence, um, could result into something and could result into them coming back to the church and possibly getting their marriage validated.
every Christmas after that and brought up like, Hey, have you guys thought about like coming back to the church? Like, have you thought about it? Why don't you meet the father? So and so he's not too weird. Now, I think the further removed you are, like, okay, I'm a friend or a cousin or something like that. do think you have a responsibility to say like, Hey, actually, um, I, I can't really, I can't participate in this. It really violates my conscience.
And I think that you, you have to do that the further. Um, I just think you'll just destroy you are but the immediate family member. Um,
Yeah, that's hard.
When you're talking about, uh, same sex carry to each other can never actually become valid. It can never actually be a marriage that is right in the eyes of God. Could those 2 men or those 2 women actually love each other? Absolutely. Could they have self gift for each other? Yeah, at some level, but could it ever actually be a marriage? No. And because of that, I think that there's no like well founded hope that this could change.
And because of that, you have to make a, make a hard decision and have some hard conversations and
Yeah.
And you know, our Lord, uh, He was very clear in promising us that the world would hate us.
Yep.
uh, the world doesn't really hate us, it actually hates Him. And people are very broken and hurt. we have to treat them with a great amount of gentleness, but also can't, um, compromise on what we believe and what our conscience is telling us for the sake of not getting some angry text messages.
Hmm.
Yeah.
uh, that's all really good. And what about the group of people that just, they're not Catholic, they're just man and woman getting married. They're either Christian or non denominational or just have like no faith whatsoever. They're just having your normal life. Like, it's my secular wedding.
Yeah, you should feel very welcome to go to weddings of non Catholics in whatever venue they are. Um, to non Catholic Christians that are getting married, the Catholic Church still considers that a sacrament. And, uh, even if it's on a beach, like them getting married, giving themselves to each other, because they're not bound by the, the like rules and regulations of the Catholic church, cause they're not Catholic yet people that aren't baptized, yeah, you can definitely go to their weddings.
So you shouldn't feel bad about that. It's just Catholics who should be getting married in the church that aren't that we have to pause and ask
Yeah. Mm hmm. Makes sense. Okay. This one's totally changing topics, but I get asked this a lot.
Okay.
you do yoga as, as a workout, as a Catholic? There's a lot of confusion around yoga.
Yeah. Oh man. Yeah. This question. Um, okay. So here's the thing for those that are familiar. The really basic summary of this controversy is, you know, yoga in its most primitive forms has its roots in Hinduism, like the forms that poses all of that stuff. And so even today it's like an exercise for most people, right? You can still use yoga though, as like a form of. Pagan worship, basically.
And because of that, um, some people will caution, Hey, you're actually opening yourself up to the enemy. You're opening yourself up to the devil by participating in this thing. That's rooted um, a pagan religion. So for myself, I'm like, yeah, I get that. And I personally am not going to do yoga. One, I'm not flexible, but two, it also just like, it also, it gives me the, the willy nillies to a little bit. I'm like, I don't
Mm
this opening up, um, that business. So I wouldn't do it personally,
hmm. Mm hmm. Mm hmm.
not in my, like, top 10 things I'm most comfortable with. Opening up answer. I'm kind of like in this world, I'm allowed to get that in forms of exercise that you don't even have to have to ask that question at the same time. I don't think you have to go on a crusader campaign to get everyone out of the yoga gyms. So,
a good answer. I think too that there is a difference like if you are going to like a yoga studio where there's like a yogi and it's like it is a spiritual experience that they're bringing in versus you're literally just going to like your regular fitness center that happens to have like a yoga class where like, it's basically just stretching. I feel like there is a difference there. Um,
And you know what? There's a lot of exercise facilities that, they really get into a lot of, like, new age stuff and a lot of,
right.
and chakra healing and stuff.
Okay, father was just saying here that these fitness centers that, um, are a little bit more into the new age stuff like chakra healing, harnessing energies, um, stuff like that, that it is kind of opening doors to, um, maybe evil spirits. And so he was like, personally, I think as Christians, we should avoid those kind of, uh, exercise studios. And then he's about to go into maybe kind of a different alternative, different alternative that we can, um, look for as Christians.
I think as Christians we're in great need of conquering a lot of those areas of our lives, like exercise. It's like, we should have Christians that are, and I know that this exists too, there are like Christian forms of yoga that's not yoga. And I'm like, perfect, like, why
hmm. Mm hmm.
and we can just avoid this controversy entirely.
Yes. Yeah. I think one's called soul core in they, they do it around the rosary or something like around the mysteries of the rosary. So super Catholic, super Catholic stretching right there.
you're right. Or you can just take my workout routine, which is eat a lot of cheeseburgers and do pushups and watch Rocky and you never have to worry about demons if you do those
Yeah. Okay. Well, now that we're on the topic with demons, I feel like this is a really good place to talk about that. Um, what would you say, this isn't like an official question, which actually surprises me. Like, what would you say are some of the top things you're concerned about that you see, especially young people of today, like opening themselves up to evil? Like how can we avoid those things?
Yeah, I mean, working with college students, I actually see a lot of this stuff, like a lot of kind of paranormal activity, as they would say. Yeah, I mean working and honestly a lot of it just has to do with practices of the occult or new age things and a Ouija board seems really fun It's like a cool party trick right until the demon shows up. Like I've literally gone to
So it literally cut out here again, this is what I'm seeing you guys, like right when we're talking about Ouija boards and new age practices and occult practices, like, come on.
Um, father was saying that he's literally gone to different, uh, college homes or fraternities or sororities where students have come to him saying like there are people in the house or a roommate or somebody that lives right above them or something that they know does this whole Ouija board thing a lot or has just kind of like, you know, weird occult practices that go on in there, um, and there's weird things happening in the house.
And so they've like asked father to come bless it and all that kind of stuff. And father kind of goes into how as Christians, we have the right to stand up for our beliefs and our practices, just as. Other people have the right to say that to us, you know, and I think it's very common common in today's culture for People who maybe act in the opposite way of Christians, right?
More a more worldly way for them to be like Hey, like your Christian religion isn't for me and I like you can't expect me to do these things Like I'm not a Christian. This isn't my lifestyle. I'm not comfortable with this With all these things you have the same right and have the same expectation to be like, hey I'm a christian and this violates my religion. This violates My lifestyle like please respect that and like please do this elsewhere
Have the same expectation for them Like as a
Totally.
violates my beliefs. So you need to change it. one else has any problem telling us that we should have no problem telling them. So I would say those like a cult new age practices are problematic, but, um, honestly, the biggest way that the devil affects us is through mortal sin. Which is kind of a like fire and brimstone answer, but it's true. It's like the best way that the devil can get ahold of you is just to get you knee deep in mortal sin.
So that's in my top 10 worrying about helping people overcome mortal sin. Occult and new age practices are big. And then I'll give you a spicy controversial take if you want.
Yeah. Let's do it.
all right, great. So, you know, every year Halloween rolls around and everybody loves watching like super freaky movies. They want to watch the conjuring and all this demonic movies and stuff. a big believer in like, not watching those.
Same.
I like thrillers. I like suspenseful movies. I like scary stuff, but. Um, here's the thing. I don't think it's good for us to be like entertained and fascinated by the devil or by
Yeah.
here's the thing, like, our intellect and our will are the two sanctuaries that are reserved to God. Like, God alone gets access to those with us, but a doorway into those things is our imagination. And so the more that we're putting into our imagination, especially demonic things is the more like Plato material that the devil has to use against us. if you've ever had just some like horrible, like demonic dreams, and you're like, where did that come from? That felt so real.
A lot of times that we've seen, and he's able to,
I cut again out here. So what father was saying was that if you've ever had these horrible demonic dreams Sometimes they could be that it's not coming from nowhere You know if you have exposed yourself in some way like he's saying to these movies or to different occult practices You know It opens a door, in a sense, for the evil one to maybe, like, use your imagination and enter into your imagination.
Um, so those dreams sometimes aren't just nothing, you know, it might be evil at work trying to torment you, in a way. Um, so, I think that's kind of all he was saying there, and now we're gonna get into his big challenge to just not watch these movies at all.
So if I could challenge everybody demonic movies because there's nothing for you there.
And they're scary as heck, man. I can't watch one. I think, I think I've watched one. I watched one when I was in high school and yeah, I definitely had nightmares and I was like, never again, literally never again. Yeah. Yeah.
It's like Jesus trampled the devil underfoot our lady Like just don't want to live in fear running like I don't want to live in fear of him or his minions And so like, why don't I choose the things that are gonna help
Um, okay. In the last few minutes, is there something that you want to share? Is there something that you're like, I would love your listeners to know this or that I think young people should know, um, whether it's a specific topic or something about their faith or whatever is on your heart. Yeah. What would you want to share with them?
Hey, in my time as a priest, something that I've learned is I think the primary way that the devil really attacks people and the enemy is trying to win souls over himself is shame. Shame is just like the tool of the enemy. He loves it. And you know, guilt is I feel bad about what I've done, which is good. Like if you don't have guilt, you probably get a Netflix documentary made about you. Like that's, we should have guilt. I've done something bad. I feel bad about it.
Um, but shame is I feel bad about who I am. Not I feel bad about what I did. I feel bad about who I am. And, uh, the enemy just loves to dump that upon us, like just cover us in shame. And it is such an impediment to our living in fullness with Jesus. You know, Jesus does not want us to live in shame. And you look all throughout the scriptures. I mean, I'm thinking of like the woman caught in adultery, and Jesus does not want us to listen to a woman in John 4.
Um, those two examples, like the Lord is coming to these women that are just covered in shame. So that's something I feel very passionate about is like, got to call out shame and attack it with all the fervor that we have because it ruins relationships.
I love that. So good.
I
I don't have anything else to say about that.
yeah, that's good.
Continue.
Um, let's see Something that's helpful to know about priests is that priests are just normal people. You know, we have normal hobbies. I, these next few days, I'm going to go on vacation with some other priests and just golf. Like, I
It's a
I like to hang out with my friends. I watched Cars the movie the other day on Disney Plus. Like, we do normal things mostly, and it was actually better than I remembered it. I was like, I can't believe I'm watching this right now, but
good movie. I think,
He's the GOAT. So,
I feel like you cross a certain age and all of a sudden like the kids movies become entertaining again.
they
I agree.
So, priests are just, uh, the most part, pretty normal guys. Like they're, they're trying. And, uh, we try imperfectly, but we're trying.
Yeah. It is a beautiful gift. Yeah.
Yeah,
We wouldn't have our faith without the priests. Absolutely.
true.
Wow. Thanks, Father. This has been such a good conversation. Yeah. Thanks for We're going to have to have you on again. Thanks for being our friend.
Yes, I know. I can't wait to see you guys in person next.
I know. Maybe it'll be SEEK. Are you going to SEEK?
Oh Oh yeah. I'll be at SEEK. We'll see you guys there.
Perfect. We'll at least see you at SEEK. Awesome. You want to close in a quick prayer, Father? Oh yeah.
In the father and the son, the Holy spirit. Amen. Father in heaven, we praise you and thank you for your goodness, for your love and the ways in which you care for us. And ask Lord that you just send forth your Holy Spirit upon every person that hears this podcast and allow shame to be ripped away from their hearts and instead to live in the joyful love that you've created us for. And we ask all of this through Christ our Lord.
Amen.