Wondery Plus subscribers can listen to even the royals early and add free right now. Join Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or unapple podcasts. What's the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the name Napoleon? I am one. I'm like over your laughing. I'm so little and I'm always such a like firecracker. Yeah. Menace. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You're Napoleon. So he's notorious for being vertically challenged.
But he actually was not that short. Oh, he's a French emperor and he's also weirdly not originally from France. Okay. So like two things people think about him short and French. I feel like if I heard Napoleon though, I would think Italian. What if I said Napoleon? Then what would you think? I would think a richian needs to stop doing French accents. Well, that's just ludicrous. So Napoleon was actually from the Mediterranean island of Corsica. Okay.
And at about five foot six, he was actually slightly above average height for men in France at the time. It was the British press who made up the lie that he was short as a way to insult him. Wait, he was above average height? For men in France. Okay. Well, that's weird though. Yeah. The fact that the British press made this up. Tells me, you know, the toxic masculinity hasn't changed much in the past 200 years. And neither have the British tabloids. This is how they got their start.
So while Napoleon's known for being this power-hungry dictator, he didn't grow up dreaming about conquering the world. Napoleon wanted to be a writer. But when the French Revolution begins, as I'm sure you remember us talking about many times, Napoleon sets aside his writing dreams to bring down the monarchy. And in the process, he winds up crowning himself emperor of France. But his desperate drive for absolute power ultimately becomes his undoing. It's early in the morning on June 21st, 1815.
Napoleon steps outside of a coach in front of his home, the Alise Palace in France. He looks at the massive mansion with grand columns and knows this place is fit for a king. Or in this case an emperor. Now, Napoleon has been France's leader for the past 16 years, and he's conquered most of Western Europe in the process. France isn't just a country now. It's a glorious empire, all thanks to him.
But today, Napoleon feels about as far from glory as possible. He spent all night racing back to Paris from present-day Belgium. First on horseback and then by coach. He came straight from the battlefield, so he's tired, hungry, and smelly. He hasn't bathed in several days, and his clothes are caked with mud and blood. So he's us, once a week every month, minus the mud?
Yeah, right. Gross. That's disgusting. Now, Napoleon has been fighting wars for decades, but this latest battle has left him shaken. A few days ago, major powers like Russia and Great Britain defeated his army in a massive fight in the village of Waterloo. Now Napoleon bullied the rest of Europe for years, but they've finally flipped the script, and now he's on the run. He needs more money and soldiers if he has any hope of beating back France's enemies.
But he won't get either of those things unless he can convince his government that he can win this fight. This morning, Napoleon hurried back to Paris before news of his big loss could spread. The French parliament is getting tired of funding his costly wars, and any sign of possible defeat would mean kissing their support goodbye. So Napoleon is at his palace right now to rally his closest advisors so they can head to parliament as a unified front.
He takes the palace steps two at a time and rushes to his chambers. When his advisors file in, he fights back fatigue and stands up tall. He tells them he has plans to march into parliament and state his case. He needs men and guns, and a truckload of crepes to feed these men. Oh God. Does he really say that? Yes. He's living in France. It's required. True. It's that or begets. Right. Now Napoleon's used to men following his orders. But today, his demands are met with blank stairs.
His hands begin sweating. By the look on their faces, his advisors already know how badly he screwed up on the battlefield. Which means parliament does as well. One guy pipes up and tells Napoleon that he doesn't think going to parliament is a good idea. Napoleon wants to snap back. I'm the emperor of France, bitch. I can do whatever I want. But the words don't come. Because now he realizes he's lost something arguably worse than a single battle, or even the support of the government.
He's lost the support of the men who are supposed to trust him the most. Napoleon has a choice. Admit defeat and risk being captured and killed by enemy nations. Or keep fighting and risk sparking a civil war. And possibly losing his country forever. Sometimes your mind needs a break from the everyday. With Audible, it's easy to immerse yourself in captivating stories that transport you to new worlds. Yes. So on my list is the Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo by Taylor Jenkins-Reed.
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And see champagne, let's go down. Royal drama in my crows. It's a show about pulling back the gilded curtain. Because despite the whole anointed by God thing, royals aren't just like us. Yeah, they have messy breakups, backstabbing frenemies and workplace drama. Only bears end in wars, beheadings and sometimes the fall of dynasties. All that glitters isn't gold. This two-part series is all about Napoleon Bonaparte, an outsider who just wanted a little R-E-S-P-E-C-T.
But he quickly learns that Medleichem aren't just handed respect. They have to take it for themselves. This is part one, started from the bottom. Let's go back to 1781, in northern France. 12-year-old Napoleon is sitting in his bonquet when a France's top military school. At this time, he's called by his Corsican name, Napoleon de Bonaparte. But to keep things simple, we'll be sticking with Napoleon throughout this episode. Right now, he's reading a book about Alexander the Great.
Now Napoleon has attended this prestigious school for the past couple of years. And while he's a whiz at math, his real passion is history. He would love. I was just going to say. He admires leaders like Alexander for their smarts on the battlefield and for the grand empires they built. Napoleon rips through their biographies like it's midnight in the early 2000s and a new Harry Potter just dropped. Oh God. It's something I know you can relate to. Oh, you know it.
The books are also an escape from Napoleon's far from glamorous life. If Napoleon is Harry Potter, then his classmates are a gaggle of Dudley's. They think he's a loser and have bullied him from day one. Mainly because Napoleon grew up on the island of Corsica, which only recently became a province of France. So in their eyes, Napoleon is inferior. Now Napoleon technically does have noble blood, but his family is at the very bottom of the rich people pecking order.
Basically like us on the red carpet of the graces. Oh no. Sad. Yeah. Now Napoleon's family is rich, just not rich enough, which is another thing that Dudley's love to hate on. Napoleon's quiet reading sash is interrupted when some of his classmates stop into his room. One of them demands to know what he's reading. Napoleon knows this trick. They're just trying to get him to speak. They love to make fun of his thick Corsica accent. Oh boy.
Yeah. He tries to ignore the question, but when the classmate rips the book out of his hands, he can't help it. He yells at them to give it back. His classmates cackle. They call him La Pallilla Nez, which translates to straw up the nose, and apparently rhymes with Napoleon's Corsica name. Wait, what? Yeah, it's safe to say these classmates will not be excelling in sick burns. Yeah, they are what the French call Lysico Petat.
Napoleon turns red and lunges for the book, but the bullies laugh and play keep away. They tell him he shouldn't bother reading about great men like Alexander, because he's never going to be one. He's just some hick from the boonies who can barely speak French. Oh wow. But Dudley's toss his book on the ground and run out laughing. Napoleon picks it back up. Feeling it all right now. Rage, sadness, fear, three fifths of an inside out. Napoleon knows he's smart.
Even if his peers can't see past his accent or upbringing. And one day, he's going to show them just how wrong they are. Then he'll be the one laughing. Seriously, Brooke, I feel like there's this trend where all the great stories start with the hero getting bullied. Well, I was just thinking like, am I supposed to root for him? You know, like I'm so confused. I know. Because I'm like, I guarantee by the end of this, I'm not.
Yeah, well, I mean, it's literally the plot of any movie where the bullied becomes the bully. Right. Basically, it's mean girls. Well, and also it's like, I kind of get why some of these people might turn into assholes. Yeah. It's not completely understandable. Yeah. But despite all of the bullying, Napoleon is proud of his Corsican heritage. Corsica was actually an independent state with its own culture and language until France took it over 13 years ago.
Hmm. After the occupation began, Napoleon's dad did some maneuvering to prove to the French overlords that the Bonaparte were descended from European nobility. This earned the family special status and allowed Napoleon to attend a French military school and get a better education. Oh. And now that Napoleon has this opportunity, he knows he has to make the best of it, bullying and all. And he always like, I regret this. Can I do it? Take these back to ease with that letter, my dad wrote?
Yeah. Can I just be dumb? I don't need to go to this kind of school. Yeah. Now Napoleon eventually discovers a passion for reading and writing at school. He writes everything from political pamphlets to short stories, although none of this endears him to his jockey classmates. Hmm. They're annoyed that Napoleon is really smart. He excels in math and geography, skills that are, of course, highly sought after in the military.
After six years of school, Napoleon aces his finals and enters the army as an officer at the age of 16. Wow. Can you imagine? No. Following a 16-year-old in the battle. Oh, that. I thought you meant going into battle at 16. I can't imagine either of those. Also that too. Yeah. I can't imagine going into battle now in my 30s. No. God. But Napoleon is primed for a bright military career. Haters be damned.
But all of this gets thrown into doubt four years later when the French Revolution erupts in Paris. You know, the one where Queen Marie Antoinette loses her head. Ah, poor Marie. R.A.P. Yeah. She just wanted to eat cake. Just kidding. No, that's pain. No, no, yeah. France descends into chaos, and the French office accore is no exception. Most offices are nobles, and when they see the peasants with pitchforks coming, they flee. But Napoleon actually supports the revolution.
They're rebelling against the same royals who took over Corsica. And all of this revolting gets Corsica's talking about their own independence. From France. Hmm. Napoleon believes he's the one who can help them break from their overlords. His military training and writing skills are just what the revolution needs. And in his own country, he won't be such an outcast. So he decides to hell with proving his French police wrong. He's going to go home and show his own people just what he can do.
It's early 1791 in a Jaxia Corsica. 21-year-old Napoleon sprints into his family home, holding a letter. For the last few years, he's used his writing skills to support the Corsica independence movement by writing political essays. But his pios de resistance is a history of Corsica. He's so proud of it that he sent it off to his idol, the Squally Pelley, for his approval. Now, Palley is the military leader of Corsica, and he's held a grudge against Napoleon's family for years.
Oh. He's mad that they tried to work with the French when the French first took over the island. Oh, we got ourselves some flip floppers here, huh? Yep. Just going with whoever is the bigger bully. On Big Brother, we'd call those floaters. These are floaters before floaters existed. Yeah. Napoleon figures his book will prove to Palley that he's committed to the Corsica cause. And then maybe he'll invite Napoleon into his inner political circle, where Napoleon can make real change.
Now, it took a while for Palley to write back, but Napoleon finally has his response in hand. He can't wait to see what his idol thinks. It'd be me if Joseph Gordon Levin had ever responded to my letter about coming over for ribs. His loss, the ribs are delicious. Mm-hmm. Napoleon rips open the envelope, and his eyes dart down the page. But his face drops when he gets to the bottom. Palley thinks Napoleon's pious to resistance is a pious to shit.
No, no. The most biting words to Napoleon are, quote, history should not be written in youth. It requires maturity and balance. Well, I agree. That's why we're telling it. Two mature and balanced gals. Yep. Now Napoleon spent years at military school being bullied and rejected by the French. Now his idol, Ocorsakin like him, has rejected him too. He balls up the letter and throws it to the ground.
Palley doesn't care how great Napoleon's writing is or what he can offer to the revolutionary cause. Once again, Napoleon's family name and background are keeping him on the sidelines. That'll happen. But Napoleon is no longer a bullied twin in France. He's a full-grown boyman with six years of military school under his belt. He's not going to let Palley stop him. He's Ocorsakin, and he's got way more to offer his countrymen beyond the history of the island.
He's got a radical plan to win Corsakin independence. And once his people see how great it is, they're bound to follow his lead. It's June 1793. Napoleon's in the town of Calvian, the northern coast of Corsaka. It's been over two years since he got the brush off from his idol. Now Napoleon and his brother Lucian are hustling up the gang plank of a small ship. Napoleon hurries to load crates of his belongings into the hold. He has to move quickly because this is not a pleasure cruise.
The Bonaparte's, all nine of them, are fleeing Corsaka. Oh, okay. Yeah, Napoleon's grand ambitions totally backfired. After Palley said thank you next, Napoleon put his own plan for independence into action. He wanted Corsaka to get cozy with the new French government. If this seems ironic, remember, revolutionary France was all about building a new country based on equality and not who your daddy was. So Napoleon figured France could be an ally for Corsaka now. This guy.
But Palley hates the French. And he has a lot more influence than Napoleon. Corsakins call Palley Babu, which literally means daddy. Okay, I think I prefer Babu. Daddy! Daddy! Daddy! Daddy! Daddy! Daddy! So when Napoleon started challenging daddy's leadership, his supporters weren't happy. And they are not afraid to show it. A mob of Palley supporters recently attacked Napoleon's home. Oh, no one was hurt, but Napoleon hurt the message loud and clear. Corsaka doesn't watch a babe.
The rejection stings, but Napoleon knows that spending any more effort on Corsaka is futile and dangerous. Napoleon grabs another crate and scans the harbor. He feels like another mob could pop up at any moment. Napoleon and his family need to get out of Corsaka and fast. The most obvious place to go is a country that once treated him like an op-cast. France. I can't. Take a side, man.
Napoleon may not have belonged in the old French order, but King Louis XVI, aka Marie Antoinette's hubby, was executed earlier this year, and France is now a republic. A new order means new opportunities for a brilliant military mind like Napoleon. Or so he hopes. Napoleon helps Lucian pull up the gangway, and the boat sails away from the dock. A wave of sadness hits. Napoleon's not sure he'll ever see home again. But then he looks to the new horizon.
Napoleon is sailing off on an adventure, just like his idols from the past. He has to prove to the French that he's more than just some Corsaka outcast. Because now, he has nowhere else to go. OK, who doesn't love bread? Even Oprah loves bread. It is one of the greatest foods to exist, but Hero Bread just made it better. Yeah, Hero Bread reinvented the bread and buns you know and love.
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But Napoleon and for France. After the king was killed, the revolutionary government got a little bit too giddy with the guillotine and executed anyone they suspected was loyal to the crown. And I mean literally anyone. Think Oprah giving out cars, but instead their head detachments. Okay. The time period actually became known as the reign of terror. Oof. That's not what you want your time period to be known as.
Nope. So it wasn't long before French Republic 1.0 was overthrown by French Republic 2.0, with the hopes that this one would be a little less bloody. But unfortunately, the blood keeps on spilling. There are too many people still loyal to the crown, and they keep her belling against the new government. And this is where Napoleon comes in. He's staunchly against the monarchy, and his fancy military training creds soon earned the attention of the new Republic leaders.
Some of their best military minds were noblemen who had fled, so the Republic is desperate for men with any skill. Napoleon is quick to prove he's more than just a good resume. He helps beat back royalist rebels in the South of France, and he even gets promoted to general, at just 24. Wow. But Napoleon's place in the new Republic is shaky. He's a newbie with only a few social connections. He needs to rack up winds on the battlefield to show he's not a one-hit wonder.
It's rush week, and Napoleon is pledging hard. OK. Today is the ultimate test. Royalists are gathering in Paris, and Paul Baross has asked Napoleon to crush the revolt. Baross is the president of France's new government, called the National Assembly. Napoleon is more than happy to accept this assignment. He's finally being recognized by the man in charge, and he won't let this opportunity slip through his fingers. Napoleon turns the corner onto a narrow street.
He sees dozens of his troops preparing their cannons to defend the city against the royalist threat. Napoleon is inspecting their work when he hears a commotion behind him. He whips his horse around, and his eyes go wide. A royalist mob is heading directly towards his men, and this isn't just a few dozen angry dudes. There are thousands of people. Napoleon's heart begins pounding. This mob is much larger and angrier than he was expecting. But he only has moments to make a decision.
Retreat or fire at the mob. If he retreats, he's admitting failure before he even begins. But if he fires the cannons, he'll break one of the unspoken rules of war. Don't fire at civilians. And then he hears gunshots. Napoleon ducks his head. The mob is armed and came to play. That's when everything clicks into place. It's the civilians or him. And now Napoleon is angry. He's so close to being in the end crowd.
He's not going to crawl back to Buross, a failure, all because of some pissed off King lovers. The Napoleon yells at his men to ready their cannons and fire on his command. The crowd closes in, and their angry chance echo off the buildings. The Napoleon drops his arm, and the cannons go off. Napoleon easily crushes the insurrection. He loses six of his men, but that's nothing compared to the 300 loyalists who died. Oh, basically it's the whole bringing a knife to a gunfighting, but on steroids.
Yeah. Napoleon made a brutal choice, but he quickly learns that in war, these choices are rewarded. President Buross puts him in charge of a huge new army and gives him a big pay bump. But more than that, Napoleon realizes he's made a name for himself, or better or worse, as a man who can be trusted to do what's necessary for the new republic, even if it means killing civilians. Yeah. Yeah. I'm going to take my history as Scott's off for a minute and just say, God damn. I know.
I know I wasn't there, but this is just brutal and awful. It's like that moral question of like, do you kill one to save a thousand or whatever it is? Yeah. This is the opposite. Yeah. Do you kill a thousand to save one? Yeah. I take them. Yeah. But Napoleon is all me like he this taste of power. Oh, God. Gone are the days of being an underestimated and excluded nobody. No more channeling Katie here and eating lunch by herself in the bathroom stall. At least on the battlefield.
Because it doesn't take long for Napoleon to realize that he's still a social outcast off the battlefield, particularly within Paris's power circles. The revolution may have been called for equality, but there's still very much a social pecking order. And most of high society still sees Napoleon as an ill-bred ruffian from a dinky island. This thing is familiar and Napoleon doesn't like it. He knows he needs to level up his social game if he wants to shake off the ghosts of his past.
And the best way to do that is through the oldest trick in the book. Brooke, what do you think it is? Is it like marrying someone off to another country's child? Essentially, a good marriage is what it is. Wow. It's not like marrying off, but he's like, I've got to get married. That's what's missing in my life. Not therapy, a marriage. He's like, no one over 5'4 though. In heels. Yeah, exactly.
It's late fall, 1795. Napoleon is standing alone in the corner of a big ballroom, fidgeting with a button on his uniform jacket. A few weeks ago, he was staring down in a grimob. But that was child's play compared to what he's facing today. A fancy party. Napoleon stands out like a sore thumb in this painfully-hyp crowd. Think Josie Grossy at prom. Oh my god. He's sheepish and awkward, and is wearing his military uniform while most party goers are dressed to impress.
He knows he should be chatting up the beautiful high society ladies at the party, but he hasn't worked up the courage yet. For all his prowess on the battlefield, Napoleon has discovered he's a total new, but on the love field. He's like, what do you do? Oh, I just murder people. How about you? He's like, but what's your favorite color though? Very important question. Yeah. But he's super awkward around the ladies, and the feeling is mutual.
One woman called Napoleon the thinnest and queerest being I ever met. Wow. Another woman nicknamed him, pussin boots. Oh, cute. Yeah. Whatever a man wants to be called. Boutly. Although I do love a little kiddie and boot. Was that story around then? Pussin boots was written in 1697. That's when it was originally published. Wow. But Napoleon refuses to back down from a battle. He spots some women across the room and goes up to them.
But as he closes in, Napoleon overhears one of them say how shabby his boots and hat look. And now it's giving Adam Sandler's wife making fun of his nose and just go with it. Oh my god. How many references do movies do you think he can make today? So many. I was on such a streak. And I can't stop now. But Napoleon is embarrassed. He gives up on talking to them and heads through the door. But on his way out, he bumps into Paul Baross.
Now remember, Napoleon scored a big win for Baross when he fought the royalist rebels. And now, oh, B-boy is ready to repay the favor. Wow. He wants to introduce Napoleon to a lady friend. Oh. Napoleon follows him to the other side of the parlor, dragging his feet the entire time. Until he meets Baross' friend, her dark hair and eyes stop Napoleon's heart. And now we're lazy coming down the stairs and she's all that. Oh my god. I think that's the last one. Her name is Rose de Boine.
And she used to be married to a French aristocrat who lost his head in the revolution. Of course. First, Denton Jail rose rebuilt her life in social standing by carrying on affairs with important revolutionaries, including Baross himself. Baross channels his best wingman energy and excuses himself so Napoleon and Rose can get better acquainted. Napoleon tries to keep his nerves under control. Rose is beautiful and he can feel his heart fluttering.
He's crushing hard and it's literally minute one. Something I know absolutely nothing about. Right, right. He's got to be at Libra. We've heard that out of the game. Don't be ridiculous. Rose used to be married to a royalist, which is not so great. But she has a lot of social connections. If Napoleon marries her, it could wipe away the stain of his low status. Napoleon racks his brain thinking of something to say. His go-to questions are things like, how many children has she had?
And did she breastfeed them herself? Wow. You know, nice normal appropriate things for one human to ask another mere minutes after meeting for the first time. You got to wait at least a half an hour at a party if you're going to ask about breastfeeding. That just...so absurd. The fact that he actually said this to women. And even back then, it was considered tacky and inappropriate. Yeah. But believe it or not, Rose is actually into it. Or at least she pretends to be.
Well, yeah, that's the question. Is she really into it? I know. Because I mean, some people just find someone that matches their freak, you know? That's true. That's true. But this is also the 1700s, right? So a lot of freaks. A lot of freaks. Nothing but, actually. But yeah, so she indulges him in conversation. And of course, Napoleon is floored. This is the first time a woman hasn't friend-zoned him. Oh, no. And now Napoleon isn't just in lust. He isn't love. For Napoleon?
Rose is now more than just a social ticket. Napoleon is convinced she's the one. He oozes her by writing her intense love letters. Some choice bits include a thousand kisses, Mio Doce Amore. But give me none back for they set my soul on fire. Wow. As well as sweet and comparable Josephine, what a strange effect you have on my heart. Who the hell is Josephine? Good question. He actually gives her a nickname. Josephine. That's a dumb nickname. That's a real name.
Okay, but it comes from the heart because it's a variation on her middle name. Joseph. Okay. He's like, I'm going to give you a nickname that takes longer to say than your actual name. That's the purpose of nicknames, right? Yeah, exactly. That'd be like me being like, Erija, I'm going to call you Castin Alita off your middle name. You can only call me that now though. Because that just flows off the tongue.
But since Josephine is how history remembers her, that's what we're going to call her from here on out. Wow. Another win for Napoleon. Crazy. I think the most surprising and also worst part is that the cringy letters work. As awkward and low-read as Napoleon is, Josephine needs him. She's getting older, has a ton of debt, and she's running out of powerful men to hit her wagon too. Just your classic trifecta scenario. Yeah. Napoleon is clearly a young star on the rise.
Now she's not in love with him by any means. But Mama's got to eat, and so do her two kids, who she breastfed herself. Yes. You can believe it. Napoleon ends up winning this battle. About six months after meeting, he and Josephine get married. Wow. Now the newlyweds don't have time for honeymoon. Baross promotes Napoleon to lead a huge army. And this time, it's not just on home soil. The chaos of revolutionary France is quieted. So Napoleon gets a chance to graduate to the big leagues.
And bring glory to France by fighting against foreign rivals. Hmm. If he succeeds, he'll show Baross and the rest of the government that he isn't just a clean up crew for home front drama. Hmm. He's the man who can lead France to global dominance. It's March 1796 in Nice, France. Napoleon steps on to a platform and stares out over a huge field, where thousands of French troops are staring right back. It's been a few weeks since he was made command of this new army.
France has been gearing up for another battle with Austria. This is the newer public's chance to show Europe they're still a power player post-revolution. They're saying, yeah, we've been through some mailed, but we're still v mailed. So watch out. Oh, is that shit? Yeah. I only knew that because of how close it sounds to that in Spanish. And then you come to English and it's shit. I know. Like, come on, guys. Let's really drill it home that is terrible.
Napoleon's job is to whip these men into shape. He's about to make his first speech to them, and he's trying to hide his panic. He's only commanded a few dozen soldiers before. Now he's responsible for tens of thousands. And the army he's been put in charge of is a hot mess. When Napoleon first arrived, soldiers were shivering because they had no coats or shoes. And the men hadn't eaten any meat for three months. All of their horses had starved to death. Oh, I know.
And they hadn't been paid in months. I mean, I could never do this, but why didn't they just eat the horses? So that's actually a really good question, and I looked it up, and it was actually a legal at this time to eat horses in France. Good. Never mind what you could do to poor women, but you can't eat a horse. Well, the horses were their transportation. You know, they had to treat them with respect. Exactly. They're related to battle, so they have way more value.
Yeah. So life under King Louis XVI was not great. But the revolutionary government isn't treating these soldiers much better. And now there's a whiff of mutiny in the air. So yeah, it was a tough first week for Napoleon. He must have felt like he was set up to fail. But Napoleon does not waste time complaining. He demotes the incompetent officer who was running things and writes letters back to Paris to get his troops proper rations. And shoes, of course, and jackets. All of the above.
When he signed the letters, he dropped the U from his last name. He wanted to show the government guys back in Paris that he was fully furious and fully French. Wow, and all that took was leaving the U of your name? That's all it takes. Okay. Napoleon worked hard behind the scenes to improve things for his men. But now he needs to inspire them in person and gain their trust. Hence the address he's about to give.
But as he pulls a folded up speech out of his jacket, he notices the blank stares of his soldiers. These men do not look like they are willing to fight and die for their leader. And the old feelings of self-doubt creep back into Napoleon's mind. Napoleon hesitates at his makeshift podium. This crowd is going to be tough to win over. And he can't go into battle with an army that doesn't trust him. If he does, Napoleon's chances of winning on the battlefield are slim.
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$45 up from payment to $15 per month. New customers on first three month plan only. Taxes and fees extra. Speed slower above 40 gigabyte C-detail. All that letters isn't gold. It's May 1796 in northern Italy. Napoleon gallops his horse up to the front line of his army, who are waiting along the banks of a massive river. It's been a few weeks since he made his first speech to his men. Now, Napoleon has let his army off to war against the Austrians and their Italian allies stationed in Italy.
The goal today is to push them back and take parts of Italy for France. Imagine risk, but real life and without crippling family strife. Napoleon rides past long lines of troops, pleased with what he's seeing. His inspirational speech was a big hit. He called his men his brothers and arms, and said they could address him in the familiar too, as opposed to the voo, which is like calling your boss bro. Okay. He also got his men paid and fed, and completely reorganized the army.
Good. Before there was unfair treatment within the ranks, but now every soldier is to be treated by the same rules. Despite all of this, Napoleon knows the final test of his work will come down to winning today's battle. He turns his attention to a long fortified bridge spanning the river. It's the only thing separating his troops from the Austrian army's battalions. The Austrians have been retreating, but they have not given up.
Napoleon looks through his spyglass, and counts their cannons set up across the river. They're full of ammo and ready to mow down anyone who crosses the bridge. It's a formidable defense, and Napoleon knows firsthand what a line of cannons can do. But Napoleon and his troops have to keep pushing. The Austrians are running scared, and this is France's chance to hit them where it hurts. Napoleon snaps his spyglass shut, and gallops over to his lieutenants. He gives it to them straight.
They have to take the bridge. Now. A lot of men may die, but all of France is counting on them. Napoleon knows how brutal choices can make or break a battle, and he's asking for a lot of trust from his men. He doesn't know how they're going to respond. Finally, one of his colonels steps forward, and volunteers to lead the charge across the bridge. Wow. He's seen Napoleon on the front lines with his men, and if Napoleon's not afraid, then neither is he.
Okay. Napoleon nods, he's got his men's respect, and that's the way he wants to keep it. Napoleon's power move pays off. He kicks the Austrians' asses and leads France to victory. He's hailed as a hero, in part because of his battle skills, but also thanks to his knack for PR. While he was in Italy, he published newspaper stories about his own victories to make sure everyone back home knew he was killing it on the battlefield. I love it.
And now I want celebrities to write all the news articles about themselves. I know. That would be... Actually, I don't want that. We'd have nothing. We need the real story, and then we're not going to get it that way. No. The thing is, Napoleon is not going to wait for someone to write about him after he's gone. He's doing it himself. Which also means he can gloss over anything on savory he did to ensure a victory. Exactly. It's a manipulative, but smart strategy.
Napoleon is also keeping things stable back in France. The French government, now known as the directory. Oh. It's such a ridiculous name. This reminds me not to bring up a brother again, but these just sound like alliance names. See, I thought I was like this gives spy collective in an early 2000s TV show, like Alias. Like they have like the directory... Yeah, so similar. Very similar. But the French government has had a hard time keeping the political extremes in France at bay.
When Napoleon's fortified and now loyal army has been able to keep the peace between radical left-wing advocates and conservative royalists buying for more control. Unfortunately, things aren't as stable in Napoleon's personal life. He wrote countless love letters to Josephine while he was away in Italy, with things like, I hope before long to crush you in my arms, and a kiss on your heart, and one much lower down. Much lower. Ooh. What a dirty boy. I know. But Joe just left him on red.
Yeah, she's like, leave my kneecaps alone. That's what you were talking about, right? No, remember, this is mostly a marriage of convenience for her. And when she does bother to respond, she sounds pretty chilly. Napoleon tries to put on a brave commanding face. He actually once sent back a letter saying, I'm not satisfied with your last letter. It is as cold as friendship. Josephine's low-key rejection is a gut punch, and Napoleon needs an outlet to repair his fragile ego.
So he does the most bruised ego-guyping possible. He finds another war to win. Oh, I thought he was going to find another woman to bang. Oh, don't worry. He's a man in the 1700s. He'll do that too. Thank good. But in the meantime, Napoleon goes after the biggest bully on the block. Great Britain. Oh. Francis Forever Enemy controls the seas, and he means they can block Francis trade routes. And of course, that's a big threat to the country's economy.
Yeah. Napoleon figures the best way to take out the Brits is to block them first. And the best way to do that is to run interference on their colonial crown jewel, India. He's kicked ass everywhere he went, and he expects this next mission to be no different. More glory and fame? Here, Napoleon comes. It's spring 1799 in Aker, a city in modern Israel. Napoleon hunkers over a table in a dusty tent, as sweat runs down his face. It's been a year since he left on his mission to defeat the Brits.
He started in Egypt, which is a main trade path to India. Now, at first things went exactly as he predicted. He captured Cairo in just a few months. And then he got to work on enlightening the Egyptians. He brought a personal library of history, geography, and philosophy with him, along with learned men and philosophers. Fun fact, Napoleon's idol Alexander the Great did this as well. Oh, shocking. Now, of course, no Egyptian is actually asking for his enlightenment, but why would he care?
Yeah. But last month though, Napoleon's colonizer Happy Days are not so happy. He and his troops have been trying to capture Aker, which is an important city on the trade route to India. But this time, things are not going well. The city refuses to back down without a fight. Napoleon was nearly killed by a cannonball a few weeks ago. I mean, I don't want to say karma as a bitch, but... I literally thought you were going to say camel. And I was like, wow, I love that. I wish.
I would love duffing boar. And it's emperorgic taken down by a camel. Now, Napoleon's been trying to keep himself together. He's not used to losing. And the longer they're bogged in this battle, the more he worries about losing their respect of his men. His army is so short supply that he's resorted to paying his men a half-franc for every cannonball they can recover to use against their enemy. Oh, wow. Napoleon pours over maps trying to find a way to win this war.
But his planning is interrupted when an officer comes in with a tally of cannonballs collected for the day. The guy looks scared to admit that it's only a few dozen. Napoleon slams his fist on the table and returns to his maps, but the soldier lingers. He's got more bad news. Literally, because he's carrying a stack of European newspapers. Hmm. Napoleon has been cut off for months with no news from home. He demands to know where the aid got these papers.
He says they came courtesy of the British General Napoleon's been battling. Now Napoleon's confused. Why would the general send him the news? He grabs a paper off the stack. And then he understands why. France is a complete mess without him. The directory has lost total control and civil unrest and civil unrest is running rampant. The directory has put large parts of the country under martial law, which means towns are now being governed by military officials.
And what's more, France's foreign enemies have taken advantage of the internal political chaos. They rebelled and took back the Italian territory and Napoleon put his life on the line to capture. Napoleon knows where this is going. It's opening the door for foreign powers like Britain to invade France once and for all. The British commander sent Napoleon the papers to get in his head. And it's working. He's furious.
President Barass and the directory are totally screwing up all of the work he's put into strengthening France. Napoleon drops the paper, then charges for the door. France needs a savior. France needs him. He prepares to race home to save the Republic. But in a matter of weeks, his reality will turn on its head. Because Napoleon won't save the Republic. He'll end up completely replacing it. Follow Even the Royals on the Wondering App, Amazon Music, or wherever you get your podcasts.
This is started from the bottom, part one of our two part series on Napoleon Bonaparte. You can follow us to your hosts on socials at Brook Sifrin and at Erecia Skidmore Williams. We use many sources when researching our stories, but we especially recommend Napoleon, a life by Andrew Roberts, and Napoleon, a concise biography by David Bell. I'm Erecia Skidmore Williams. And I'm Brook Sifrin. Andrew Barbour wrote this episode, story editing by Amine Osman, and Sound Design by John Lloyd.
Our Associate Producer is Hannah Ward. Our Coordnany Producer is Taylor Sniffin. Our Managing Producer is Sophia Martins, and our Senior Managing Producer is Nick Ryan. Rachel Engelman and Julie McGrooter are our producers. Our Executive Producer is Jenny Lauer Beckman, Jenny Bloom, Marshall Louis, and Erin O'Flairady for Wondering. In the Pacific Ocean, halfway between Peru and New Zealand, lies a tiny volcanic island.
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