¶ Erotica Verbatim: Collection and Listener Mail
This podcast contains strong words and provocative ideas. If either offends you, turn off now. Weirdo.
Hello my little Chrisomwages, I'm Soleron Saint Wright. I used to direct movies and TV shows like the nineteen seventy nine sci-fi classic Atlantis Attack.
but over the past
A specific form of art, literature based erotica or dirty stories, as the layman calls them. And I now own the world's largest private collection of these fictional sex based tales. From the lost pages of the Karma Sutra to the filthy, depraved fantasies Jim Jordan sent everyone on the wrestling team at Ohio State. I have them all. And I've decided to share this legacy with you before I die, to pass on some of the finer works in my collection. Now because these stories are written by any Doug or
I dunno, Dugina. These stories contain some poor syntax and the occasional spelling mistake, but in an effort to remain as true as possible to the author's original vision, I have left them in. So, with the help of my beautiful cast, Mrs. Present Erotica the Beta.
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Now before we get to today's story, let's get into some viewer mail.
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Saunders writes to say, Dear blessed one, I am the auditor of a computing department. Important transaction. Seeking a reliable person. Well I'll be getting back to you separately, Mr Saunders, but This sounds like a fiscal opportunity I'm willing to bet the house on. And to everybody else, keep those emails coming.
¶ Holiday Romance Interrupted by Family
Well, today's episode is one for the holiday. Specifically the Jewish celebration of Chanukah. It's written by a Schmeckel underscore sixty nine, so settle back languidly for Chanukha sex with my mother. Me and my new wife Jeanette were heading home for the holidays. We're both just out of college. I'm Neil, I'm 24, and working for my dad's law firm. Jeanette is a very hot 23-year-old.
We got to my house where Mom was in the kitchen cooking up the biggest turkey dinner I think I've ever seen. Family was everywhere. Brothers, sisters, grandparents, cousins, kids.
Happy Hanukkah, my bubblers. Why don't you go put your stuff up in the spare bedroom? Oh, and I got lots of negillas on the kitchen table, so please have a negila.
Said Mum, kissing me on the cheek. Me and Jeanette hauled our cases up to the room and went inside.
I'm so horny, said
said Jeanette sexily, as she raised her top, showing off her perky broasts encased in her silken bra.
I want you to make love to me right now.
she added, tearing off her clothes and leaping onto the bed. My clothes followed suit, and I was in bed with her in seconds. Oh, this woman was my life, and her hot naked body was mine to pork, as kosherly as possible, for all eight days of this festival of lights. I put my hand on her thigh and
Do you want your Brussels sprouts with garlic or with butter? I know you can be very picky.
Whatever Ma, I don't care!
'Mom, and she fell silent, so I turned back to Jeanette. she moaned as I slowly fingered every
What about the turkey? White meat. I can No way!
Either's fine.
Jeanette's hard nipple was inches from my mouth, so I breathed hot air onto it.
About What is genetic?
Oh uh uh um I I'm good with white.
She prefers white.
I smiled at Jeanette. Mom's right but there were more pressing things at hand, like her clit, which I was now pressing with my hand.
Mm.
You like that little girl?
Oh, Daddy, I want you to f
Totally forgot to tell you. I had a complete rectal prolapse last week. You know what those are? It's when the rectum becomes stretched out and protrudes from the anus.
I'm so sorry to hear that, Ruby!
It happened while I was playing casting it with the girl! I just popped to the little girls' room and it was like, uh, oh, what's that movie? It was like I had one of those District 9 aliens flip!
Jeanette pushed my hand away from her crotch and looked at me grumpily. I held my breath, waiting for more, but when it didn't come, I and took Jeanette's face in my hand. Think she's done?
She better be. Now fuck me. Quick and hard.
I entered her swiftly and began pumping it.
Your parents are here!
Just keep fucking me.
But you worry, misses Silverstein.
I was about to climax when it's not.
Nat honey
and your father are here. Happy Chanukna You're coming down to give us There, stop! Uh Oh hey! Javi had a rectal prolapse just then. What? We should bend you both over, put you side by side, and take pictures!
It's bad enough I got a yeast infection at my age. But paired with shingles oivamia, it's like God singled me out. I don't wanna be a chosen person.
out of nowhere. from my nipples. It's the last of the baby milks. But who knows? Fuck me harder. I'm coming.
Oh Pew!
Next year, please God and Israel!
No we both came so hard and collapsed in a sweaty existential mess on the bed, for this was going to be the rest of our lives until they died. And then we'd become them. The end.
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¶ Sir Laurent's Reflections and Outro
Oh, what a beautiful tale, from a culture I know very little of. This is why I love collecting erotica, because it's not just the sexual encounters that stay with you, but the unanswered questions too, like why this holiday that's been around for well over two and a half thousand years is pronounced so differently by everyone. Come on, tribe, decide on a definitive pronunciation. Well, until next time. My little crissomages.
You've been listening to Erotica Verbatum, written, created, and produced by Hayden Black, edited by Joe Larigo, and starring Hayden Black, Sarah Olexic, Dr. David Robinson, and Lydia Porto. If you had a laugh, please recommend us. Don't forget to subscribe!