¶ Top 10 Santa Claus Portrayals
Ho , ho , hoes , Everybody knows there's not a better time of year .
Hear that sleigh Santa's on his way .
He'll kill for right for Christmas vacation . Merry Christmas , it just ended so abruptly , jesus .
I actually thought the rest of our song was supposed to key in at the end , guess not .
No , welcome to Entertain this . Oops , you naughty elves . It's a podcast about movies , tv shows and bad audio editing . Bad adio . Editing what's adio ?
Yeah , sure , you know .
You got the adio . All that . My name's Tom . With me , I have Mitch and it's not the Hayden button .
My name is .
Hayden . He'll be back with us not too long from now , though , so yeah , this is probably the last time me and you were going to record just us .
Yeah , the last time we were going to record without him .
Without him .
Might not be the last episode . No .
But in this episode we are doing our top 10 Santa Claus portrayals . Why are you laughing ?
You're like we're going to do our you . Let us look down at your paper . Oh yeah , what are we doing ?
The top 10 . Santa portrayals yes , but before we get into the man in the red suit social media Mitchell .
Oh sorry .
We'll wait .
Entertain this podcastcom . We'll take you to our Facebook group and page . Also , our Twitter is at this entertain . Our Instagram is entertained , dot this . And our YouTube TikTok entertain this . That's my point .
Those places , those things like comment , subscribe , ring the bell . And I forgot , well , well , Moving on to our top ten , what's your number ?
ten . My number ten is Hulk Hogan's .
Hulk Hogan's .
Standing With Muscles 1996 .
I only know that because I read it five minutes ago .
I was looking it up . In this movie he's like some kind of rich businessman that falls down a garbage chute like running from someone , hits his head and wakes up in a Santa suit and so he thinks he's Santa .
What a premise , what a way to set him up for this .
Anything that's not wrestling , that has Hulk Hogan is not normally .
Does his Santa suit not have sleeves ?
Probably not .
It shouldn't .
If I remember correctly , either he has them and he tears them off , or it didn't have them to begin with , or he flexed and they just ripped , and he's just like yeah .
Yeah .
I'm Hulk Claus .
But you know you got the . The brother's going to bring the presents down for you .
You're going to play . It's so dumb .
Yeah , it is . What's your number ? 10? .
Mine is Tom Hanks from the Polar Express .
I could never get into that movie .
Yeah , you know , it's because the the CGI or the animation for the kids , they have dead eyes , a doll's eye , a doll's eye Like a shark .
Yeah , I mean , my kids were actually watching this this morning when I woke up and I'm like it's just , I don't know the animation .
It's off . Yeah , it's like there's just that one , it's just I don't know the animation it's off .
Yeah , it's like there's just that one .
It's just strange , and this was like one of those first movies that did that .
Yeah , besides , like Disney , pixar movies and stuff , it was one of the first like fully animated films . It's just I don't know I'm not a big fan that Tom Hanks is every adult character in the movie .
Yes , it's kind of weird , yes , it's kind of weird , as the conductor the hobo guy .
Yeah , I mean , I think the whole premise is like he's Santa watching them all along , kind of thing , but still .
It's like a horror , fun-filled ride with kids . Like giving them PTSD or something the would-be death train . Yeah .
They should have died many times with those kids doing stuff .
Oh , that train defied physics , but it's an adventure to discover the spirit of Christmas . And he can still hear the bell .
Yeah , Well , my number nine is Billy Bob Thornton in Bad Santa .
I had him at number six .
I never could get into these movies . But I mean , they're funny , but they're just like .
Where he's just drunk , pissing on himself .
To me it's one of those like it's funny one time after that I'm like yeah , and that one kid who's just like yeah , that kid's annoying A little curly-headed kid .
You never wanted to smack somebody so much .
It's like I forgot his name , but the guy that plays the elf .
Yeah , the midget guy . I can't remember his name either . He's in the house .
You're going to get canceled . You called him Small person .
Vertically challenged Dwarf .
But yeah , I mean like technically .
I guess Future time bandit . He's not really Santa , he's just dressed up you know as a ball , but he's portraying Santa I guess , so yeah . Sure , why not Like none of those kids are buying ?
it because he's just a mess . All right , what's your number nine ?
Jeff Gillen .
Who's ?
that From A Christmas Story ? Oh , you should try out , kid , Because I love that whole set up like this mega tower in a mall to get to him and all these people dressed up like elves . You just hear kids screaming . He looked like a good Santa , though . The suit looked good , the boots , everything .
The hat with the little you know like the holly leaf in there , the beard , the rosy cheeks and nose Like the white gloves . He had it down . He looked like him .
You know , shoot your eye out kid . You put this boot on his face .
If old man Sosa thinks I'm working past nine , he can kiss my foot and the elf's like yeah .
He's over there going , ho ho .
What do you ?
want for .
Christmas little boy Really creepy . No wonder they're screaming .
He's like a lot of people are waiting , I can't go . And he's just like what do you want for Christmas ? How about a nice football ?
You're an angry little elf .
It's just like I want a Red Ry Carbine Action 2 and a shot Rage Model Air Rifle . And then he does the smile yeah , and he's like you should try it kid Merry Christmas into the boot . Ho , ho , ho , Ah , Great , great stuff .
I'll go to my number eight , which was the Tom Hanks as the Santa Claus .
That was the best character he did in the movie .
Yeah , it was , the conductor was like kind of annoying . The guy that's like living under the train essentially , was kind of annoying . So yeah , I guess that was the best one .
I think it was the best one .
What's your number ?
eight Bill Goldberg , santa Sleigh Bill .
Goldberg Santa's sleigh .
That's my number seven .
Ho , ho , hoes when he's at the strip club .
In this one like he's going around murdering people .
Yeah , is this the one they had to do the Olympic , like curling , yeah , so this is a punishment movie that I ended up liking . It was fun Like he lost , like an event , because he was , he lost an event because he was a demon .
Santa was a demon , and his penance for losing was he had to spend the next , I think , 2,000 years being nice and giving presents . So he became Santa Claus instead of Satan . So he's just been doing this for 2,000 . The spell breaks and now he could be evil again and he's just killing people , running grandma off the road and is like rocket powered sled .
Yeah , it's like he comes in , he's banging hookers . He's like yeah , he comes out of the chimney .
Yeah , he goes to the strip club . He like kills , like the bouncers that he's just partying with the girls , and then he loses .
like the curling match has to be good again and listening to like some behind the scenes stuff from wrestling , I actually found out he actually meets his wife yeah , you know his wife on that his wife was one of the strippers , you know . Now they have a son that plays for color rock state , so nice he played .
He played at georgia he played at georgia and then for the falcons for a little while .
So did Terry Crews .
I know Terry Crews played .
I think so did the Rock .
The Rock played for Miami .
Didn't he play for the Falcons for like five minutes ?
I don't think so . I don't think he played in the pros . I think he stopped at Miami . Terry Crews he played for , I think , the Vikings , didn't he ? He played for a couple teams . Yeah , my next one was Bill Goldberg , so what's your number seven ?
Peter Jackson . Peter Jackson In Hot Fuzz . Oh , I saw that Before I was stabbed in the hand by a man dressed as Father Christmas . Gah , I saw that . And it's just the knife in the hand of Peter Jackson , dressed as Santa Claus , like gah .
Well , when I was doing research I saw that , but I knew I couldn't remember what he looked like , so I didn't put that on my list .
I always forget that he's in that movie and he's Father Christmas stabbing Simon Pegg in the hand with a switchblade . It's like until I was most recently stabbed in the hand by a man dressed as Father Christmas . It's just like the whole movie . He's doing the hand exercises . It's like how's the hand ?
Well , my number six I'm changing because I was just thinking about it If we're going to do like small cameos as Santa Claus in Jingle All the Way , you have Jim Belushi and you have Paul Wright , which is the giant from wrestling .
Both of them in Jingle All the Way are portraying Santa Claus when they're in the warehouse and he's like trying to sell them the knockoff toys .
Oh , it's like falling apart .
Yeah , they have to start fighting . And he's like beating up all these Santas . And then the Big Show basically walks up , takes his jacket off . He's like what was it ? I can't remember what he said . Oh no , I can't remember what the Big Show said . But he like grabs him by the chest and he's got the little small guy on his head and shoulders .
He grabs Arnold Schwarzenegger , rears back at Schwarzenegger ducks . He punches the little guy .
He's flying , he doesn't even lose elevation , he just gets straight back .
Now the big shot . He takes his jacket off and he looks at him . He starts grabbing his wrist . He goes I'm going to dick your halls , bub .
And then they bust in and he's on the fake police badges . He's like I've been on this case for two years . Great move great move , he's got two what's your number six ? Billy Bob Thornton in Bad .
Santa . Okay , my number five is Paul Giamatti from Fred Claus .
Is that the Vince Vaughn movie ? Yes , he's like an actual Santa , but Vince Vaughn's like the F-up .
Yeah .
He has to take his place for some convoluted reason .
For whatever reason , Giamatti , Santa Claus can't do Christmas , so Fred Claus has to step in . Yeah , he has to step in to be Santa for the year or whatever .
It sounds like a crappy Vince Vaughn movie . It's not good . I can probably think of five good Vince Vaughn films he's been
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in .
Old School Wedding Crashers and I like Couples Retreat .
The Lost World Jurassic Park , oh .
I forgot about that . Yeah , that's a good one , rudy . What Rudy Vince Vaughn's in Rudy , yeah as who .
He's one of the football players . He's like a prominent one . Oh really yeah , where they're having practice and he gets all mad because he's like oh , I didn't know that he's like you didn't practice this . He calls him an a-hole .
He's like you play like it's the Super Bowl and the coach is like if you had half the heart , that kid , you would have made All-American .
I didn't even know he was in there .
Yeah , young Vince Vaughn .
Okay , what's your next one , number five .
Kurt Russell in the Christmas Chronicles . He's on my list . He looks like like Santa Claus if he drove a Trans Am .
¶ (Cont.) Top 10 Santa Claus Portrayals
With the top down .
Yeah , the T-top . He had the T-top . He was driving the Firebird , the flaming chicken package .
He's got the one scene where he's in the jail and he's singing the blues .
Nobody knows .
He's full out elbows pressly dancing and singing and stuff . Then the other end , people in the jailhouse start dancing and singing and stuff and then the other end are like people in the jailhouse Start dancing behind him and singing , yeah .
He looks like a good Santa Claus .
He does , he fits the part .
Cause it's like all his real hair . Yeah , real hair , real beard . He looks like his older version of the character he played in the thing .
Yeah , actually , yeah .
Because that's all his real facial hair . The dude grows a big beard .
I watched the first Christmas Chronicles because it was on Netflix , and then they made a second one where Goldie Hawn is his wife . But I hadn't seen that one .
I hadn't seen it . I saw the first part years ago , whenever it came out .
Goldie Hawn's , his real wife . Yeah , oh .
I didn't know that .
Did they get married before or after ? Overboard .
I think they were married before Overboard .
Okay , I haven't seen that movie in forever either . It used to come on like TBS every time , yeah that was a good movie .
Yeah , we need to do like the top ten Kurt Russells portrayals .
Write that down .
He's my next one too . He looks like a good Santa because he looks so fed up with Will Ferrell and I would be too . That whole movie is adults being fed up with him and his bull .
Because like .
I hate that movie . No , I don't have McCann Because Bob Newhart is his like adoptive elf father .
Yeah .
And he's just like and as he's like James Codd , his biological father's like because even James Codd there was whatever scene he gets mad at him , he's like yelling at him . They used that take because he was just so fed up with Will Ferrell's bull that whole day . He just lost it for the scene . And they're like yeah , that's great .
And he's like I thought this movie was going to suck . He's like I hated it . He's like I needed money . Or he's like we put one of my kids through college or paid off a boat or a house or something for him . And he's like and then everybody's just like .
I went and saw the movie just to see and I was sitting there I was like all right , yeah , I get it now .
What was his name ? Again the dad .
James Conn , the guy who plays Sonny in the Godfather .
Well , I couldn't remember his name , but it's so funny Because I could see him being fed up , Because there's like the scene where he's like I need to be tucked in . So he comes over , Will Ferrell , grabs him and he's like take a bite . I could just see him get pissed off .
Like it wasn't planned . He just pops up and hits him in the face .
And then you got the part . They're sitting like at the doctor's office where they want to get like a blood test to see if he's really his son , and he's like taking the cotton balls and eating them and he's like , don't do that . And he goes to pulls out from behind his ear . I would be so done .
I was just watching this because my kids were watching it the other day . And then
¶ Santa Claus Portrayals Comparison
you have the part where Peter Dinklage he's in . There he's like you're an angry little elf .
Call me elf one more time , running slowly across that long table because he's tiny legs .
Well then he kicks him he's like beating him up has him in a headlock . He says call me elf one more time . You're an elf . It's a funny movie .
Before Peter Dinklage was Tyrion Lannister .
Yeah .
What's your ? Let's see what's your number four my number four was Ed Asner . Okay what was your well , what was your number three ? Edmund Nguyen , who's three ? Edmund Nguyen , who's that ? From the original Miracle on 34th Street ? Okay , in the black and white .
You know , I've never seen those whole movies Miracle 34th Street I've seen them both and his portrayal as Santa . Claus is Is this the original or the remake ?
The original , okay . The black and white one With , I think , natalie Wood , okay his portrayal is like the first , like classic good portrayal of a Santa Claus . I mean , he's just so believable , like he's got like the whole , like the look .
It's like because he's in the movie he's actually Santa Claus and they hired him to be the Santa Claus and like miracles start happening .
He's like doing stuff and then they're like there's like a whole court hearing to prove he's Santa Claus and he's just like dropping bombs on people , where it's just like you wanted this when you were a kid and the prosecutor's like yeah , he's like because , I'm Santa . He's like what's your name ? Kringle Chris Kringle , like he was Bond . Kringle Chris Kringle .
My number three is Tim Allen .
I had Tim Allen , number one .
I thought about that , but I went with one that was a little more funny than I liked .
I had Tim Allen , just because I mean we could talk about Tim . Allen when we get to , we can go ahead and talk about it , because my number two is Kurt Russell .
We've already talked about it .
Tim Allen has the longest body of work of being a Santa Claus .
Oh yeah , and I have to say his first one is probably the best Santa Claus portrayal that I've seen .
And asking real questions like what happens if I fall off the roof Right , or I like how they're getting ready for like suiting him up and like they're showing him the stuff and they're like doing like the slow-mo walk . Yeah , and it's just like fireproof and he's just like nice .
But what happens if I ?
fall off the roof . What happens if I fall off the roof and then , like the super SWAT elves with like jet packs , like special forces , show up to break the kids out ?
Well , I like how when he first A weenie whistle . When he first turns into you know that first night that he becomes Santa and he's like delivering the kids with his son . He drops off this one little girl and she's like you're supposed to drink the milk and he goes I'm lactose intolerant .
And then the next time he shows up he's like , it's like a Delicious . What was it ? It was like a . Was it a buttermilk , or ?
something he's like .
You know you're right , but he first the first night he looks at her like you want this doll Go back to bed , throws it at the tree . That's a good movie .
It is a good movie . The first one's great , the second one's hysterical .
Yeah .
With plastic Santa when he comes out , and they just show the plastic blood cheeks . It's just so stupid . And he's like , ah , I'm you .
The first one was good , the second one was a little iffy . The third one was bad .
More cold With .
Jack Frost Hot cocoa .
He's like going nuts drinking it .
They actually made a Santa Claus TV series on Disney Plus 2 with him . Oh did they . I think , they're actually having a season 2 , if I'm not mistaken .
Like where he gains weight and he like shaves . And he just looks at it and immediately grows back . And he dyed his hair and it turns white again .
He's like I'm in big trouble , so that's my number 3 . What was was your ? You said that was your number one tim now was my number one okay , what's your number ? Two richard attenborough from the remake of miracle on 34 street from the 90s . That's the one with the little girl from matilda . That's the one I remember .
I just I don't remember the first one , but I knew it was a remake .
he was a good looking santa claus . You looked like that's him . That's what picture ? Like old guy in red suit with a little gut and rosy cheeks Richard Attenborough , or the guy from the first Jurassic Park movie .
Oh , that's the same guy . That's what I thought by the look , but I couldn't remember the name . I didn't look it up , I didn't bother , I couldn't bother . That's kind of the theme of our podcast we couldn't be bothered .
You're lucky . Can we do this ? Anybody who listens you should be . The fact that I pull up it's like 300 plus episodes or specials we have , I'm like really we did that many Jesus and it's not even over Help . What do you want for Christmas ? To not have to do this .
Is that how you really feel about us ?
No , to get paid to do this . That's what I really want . Richard Attenborough's portrayal is great . It's the little girl from Matilda and Mrs Doubtfire .
Yeah .
Who is like the Natalie Wood character . It's a good remake of Miracle on 34th Street . If they were going to get anybody to be Santa Claus , Richard Attenborough was the guy .
Let's see , tom , we got trying to look at the Real quick , trying to find this .
What are you trying to find ? The spirit of Christmas .
Some of the stats that we have on here . I was trying to look up . Oh see all stats . There we go .
We don't have time for stats Mitch . Looking it up , looking it up Do-do-do , do-do-do . Do it up , it doesn't want to tell me oh well , it's like the stats , like you don't want to see them because they're not good .
I can tell you now we're on episode 229 . That doesn't include , like , specials and stuff like that and interviews or whatever . Yeah , that includes interviews 229 episodes .
Yeah , jeez .
But that doesn't include like for a while we were doing an episode and then we we would do like a Thursday episode . That was just like one certain thing . That doesn't include those , okay , and that doesn't include the Thursday episodes that we post . That are throwbacks .
Yeah .
A lot yeah .
A lot of entertainers . It's your number one .
Mel .
Gibson .
It's the fat man . Have you seen that one ?
No , in the fat man . Have you seen that one ? No , we . I like how we joked about when it came out that I was talking about .
It was really funny . Basically , he's like some kind of you know tough santa that these people show up like the government shows up or somebody does they send like a guy to kill him yeah , they want to stop the spirit of christmas . They show up to kill him and he's literally just like killing all these terrorists . That's trying to stop him .
And he's got like a bunker under the wherever he's I guess wherever north he's at . So he's got a bunker that's under the like where all the elves and stuff work , but he's got all these guns and stuff in his house .
Yeah , he's got like a six-stroke shooter .
He's like walking out there . They're like using sniper scopes and stuff from a distance . He's walking off with a pistol just shooting him . Ho ho ho .
Looks like you're on the naughty list .
I know he's not like the best Santa , but it brings .
Throwing grenades shaped like coal .
It makes me laugh .
It is pretty funny Because it's just like you don't really need to be convinced to see the movie . Yeah , it's like mel gibson santa with guns and it's like all right , why aren't we watching it ? Like , of course , I want to see this but yeah , that's our , our top 10 .
We pretty much all well . No , I was gonna say we pretty much had the same character , but no , you had . You had several more different than what I had .
I tried to get a good mix . There was like a lot of like oh , these are the really good ones . And then there's like these are the worst Santas and I was like , well , I want the bad ones too .
I didn't include the new movie with Satan Claus , with Black Jack , where he's Satan , because the kid is trying to write a letter to Santa and misspells it and then he shows up and then he tries to like , pretend , like you know . Hey , yeah , we can still have fun , you know , kind of thing .
Satan pretending to be Santa .
I didn't include that on the list . That's a wild one .
That's wild .
Although you know , bill Goldberg did it .
Yeah , but his was awesome . Ho ho hoes ,
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all right . Well , now we move on to Welcome to the Warzone Are we talking about Warzone , no Black Ops . Oh , we're doing that in this episode .
Yeah , that's what we do Keep it close to when it all released as close as we could .
We try . Yeah , we're talking about Black Ops 6 . I don't I want to give this game like a 9 out of 10 , but I also want to give it like a 2 out of 10 . Because there's a lot of times this game is just . It makes me want to like stab myself in the knee .
Sadly , I had more fun playing multiplayer than I did Warzone , and that has not been the case until now yeah , which , yeah , I
¶ (Cont.) Santa Claus Portrayals Comparison
mean .
So we'll talk about multiplayer first . I guess we could talk about the campaign , the campaign I think we talked about it .
Yeah , we talked a little bit about it .
I still haven't gone back to it .
When it first came out .
Yeah , I mean , the campaign's cool , it's all right , it's nothing . It's not as emotionally investing as the old ones used to be that we played Like , as the old ones used to be that we played Like the original Modern Warfare campaign , or the campaign from Call of Duty 3 or World at War , with Gary Oldman losing his mind .
Black Ops 1 and 2 were stellar campaigns . The multiplayer it's all right , I will say . The skill-based matchmaking is brutal . It's like they decide they were like , oh , you guys were complaining about it last time . Well , let's give you something to really complain about . Let's dial this to 11 . It goes to 11 . Because I'm doing the dark matter grind .
I'm at 18 guns now . In diamond I did all the ARs , not the Kree , because I came out after I started All the SMGs , all the SMGs , all the shotguns , all the LMGs , and I'm on the marksman rifles . I got one gold and I'm almost on gold with the second one .
Now tell us a little bit about your journey of trying to get all these headshots .
Some of them was easy . Some games it was . I will say there's no like damage multiplier for headshots . Okay , which blows my mind in core yeah I'm like these are . I am point blank lighting people up with like a light machine .
I'm like I'm shooting at 762 belt fed weapons with like rapid fire going into people's noggins , and they just look at me , go with an smg and I'm two seconds and I'm like I didn't miss a headshot . Yeah , like how did this ? And then there's like a barrel you can get where you get a headshot damage multiplier .
But I really don't notice a difference if I use it . I tried using it because I was like , oh , let's see how that goes ,
¶ Challenges of Call of Duty Multiplayer
and I was like I don't notice any sort of difference . But like the skill-based matchmaking is so tough , it's like I'll get on my first game , mop the floor with everybody the rest of the night . I'm in the Olympics and it is like I start out as like good , balanced teams .
You know it's competitive , it's fun , I'm not sweating , I'm not panicking trying to get any kills or get a headshot . A game Like normally , when I first go and start playing it , I'll get like 10 , 15 , 20 headshots in one game yeah . I can do it like that , like Nuketown .
24-7 was the bee's knees for me for a lot of the longer range weapons , the SMGs , and stakeout 24-7 was the move . But I did notice I got headshots faster and better , hip firing with full auto guns why , I don't know I don't know like uh , one of the , the last lmg that looks like the M203 light machine gun .
You get the 100 headshots to unlock the specialty challenges . And there's two . One of them was like oh , get 30 kills shortly after sprinting or something .
And then you had to get 30 point-blank kills with a light machine gun . I mean yes .
And point-blank in this game is like I have to impale you with the barrel or like I have to shove it up your butt and shoot until the bullets come out your eyes . And I'm running around and I was playing my buddy . He's like I'll probably take you three games and I was like , are you crazy ?
This is going to take all night to get close to somebody and mag dump them , because I've done it where I've , I've . There's a couple where I'm right behind somebody , my barrel is through their chest and I'm lighting them up , hold down the trigger , I don't even move and just , and they just spin , hose me and it's over .
And I'm like , and I'm like watching the kill cam and I did like a little bit of damage , like he skimmed his knee right now I feel like all the guns have the same amount of damage .
It just except mine . It just matters how fast you shoot , the amount of bullets coming out . So that's why SMGs feel like they kill instantly . Where an LMG using a gun .
Higher caliber weapons .
Yeah it feels like it takes , you know , half a man Forever .
So that's been brutal to try , but I did do it in two games . The first game I got like 18 point blanks , but I got like 15 headshots hip firing people and I'm like how is this a thing ?
What's the apartment ?
Stakeout , stakeout .
We played the 24-7 stakeout for a while and I was just using the shotgun running through because it's the only thing that I could get to actually kill people quick enough because I didn't have guns leveled up .
It had weeks as the game came out before I got to play it , so I was just running around the shotgun point blank killing people , yeah , so I mean I , I mean I , I don't go through like the camos , like you do , but I just want to win and in multiplayer it seemed like the , the shotgun , was the way to go , at least when you're on that map up close I
think the pump shotgun's way better than the semi-auto it seems like it the semi-auto is .
It seems like it .
The semi-auto is like Except for when somebody else is using the semi-auto .
And they blow me in half and then I'm using it and I'm like hit him , hit him , hit him , hit him hit him hit him , hit him Reload , hit him what Die .
To me , the inconsistency of the bullet damage is what kills me with the shotgun , because I'll shoot a guy point blank with a shotgun and get a hit marker , but then he'll be like six feet away . I'll shoot him one time and kill him .
Or like the headshot's not registering , like dude's on a head glitch . All I can see is the top of your head and I'm only hitting that because I can't hit you anywhere else . I can't penetrate what you're hiding behind and it's just I'm bouncing rounds off your forehead and then I get the kill and it's like what do you mean ? I didn't get a head shot .
Like where'd the bullet go ? Like what did one go flying up vertically and land on top and go through his shoulder ? And that's the coup de grace that got him . Like what are we doing here ?
I watched the video Z-Lander did where he was talking about skill-based damage , and he's like here's a couple clips and there's two guys that are on opposite rooftops it's less than 50 meters . The gunfight . Dude's got a sniper , the bolt-action one or the first bolt-action one I think you get in this game and dude's running . He lines him up , perfectly .
They slow down . The video Shoots , you see , did not do damage to the guy , he just took it . Blood went out of him . He rechambers and hits him again , same thing , and then the dude pops up with an SMG , just goes and shoots him in the face and he's like looking around like where's Ashton , am I getting punked Like it's real .
People are like who's Ashton ? The Warzone hacker problem is out of control right now we only ran into one .
I think that I know of that guy definitely yeah , we only ran into one that there was a lot of suspicious yeah , I mean and this isn't trying to say it's like it's the hacker syndrome , like you get outgunned by somebody and you're just like , oh , he's hacking , yeah , but like this was like blatant he killed three of us before we could even tell each other
that there was somebody in the room . Yeah , and watching the kill cam . Immediate snaps to our heads yeah . And it was just . You know the perfect amount of rounds . He switches immediately to the next closest person . Same thing on the head . Did not miss a shot .
Because , like Tom was like , there's a guy and he was dead . And then , as I'm turning around , when he said that , I look at him , I see the guy , I fire one round and then I'm dead . And then we had a third guy that was on our team , that was in the room and he was dead before my body fell to the ground and the kill cam started .
The other teammates were dragging him by the ankles into the bathroom . He was like no , so the one guy killed all three of us before you could finish a sentence and watching , like westy uh stod and all those guys they were playing and they were talking about it because they had won two games .
He's like they got on , they joined in , they won their first game , they won the second one and then they were in like a shadow ban lobby like they were getting killed by hackers and then spectating the hackers to watch them get killed by other hackers in the same lobby . And they're like why are we even in this ?
Yeah , because before the game , ricochet was shadow banning people if you got more than 10 kills in warzone in a game even I can get more than 10 kills and I suck yeah , if you have a good game and you pop off and you kill 10 people , the game was shadow banning because they thought you were hacking . It's like oh , he's got high kills .
It's like how many kills are you expecting me to get ? Like two , three , like ? Hang on , I can't kill anybody . I'm on nine .
I mean I average about six throughout the night , but yeah , I've got 10 or 11 a couple of times .
There's been nights where we were just running the gauntlet , yeah , and just laying dudes out Playing against it feels wrong .
There's also been nights where we get like one kill as a team and win .
Yeah , we've done that too . We've almost won a game without killing anybody . They were all paid actors , but the controls feel wrong .
Yeah .
Playing Warzone . I don't feel as tight when I move .
And I'm sure that the Omni movement gets me killed . I'm sure that they have changed stuff and you probably have to re-situate it because it's the Omni movement , so you've got to re-situate your controls , your like what's it called ?
Which you can import your settings from Modern Warfare 3 into this which I did Well , like the what's it called the reaction . Dead zones .
Well , the dead zone , but then you can change how fast your guy will turn and stuff .
I did notice playing multiplayer . I'd line up and pull the trigger , nothing , and then I would start shooting .
Yeah .
And I checked the dead zones . I set them all the way to zero for the triggers , whereas as soon as I touch it . I want rounds , yeah , but I'd line up and I'd hold the trigger down for a second and nothing would happen . Then , all of a sudden , I'd start shooting and I'm watching dudes just spin and go and blow my brains out .
Maybe it could be my connection or Warzone's connection , but there's a couple of times where I would shoot a guy with half a mag and then I'd watch the kill cam and my guy's just now turning to look at him . Yeah , and you know , like didn't fire a shot , but I don't know .
We played Warzone last night and I was like I'm not enjoying this . No , I was like this is agony , like I had more fun in multiplayer .
And see , I'm trying to . I think the gun is the SOG yeah the new SMG that came out .
I've maybe it's . Yeah , the new smg that came out . It's . I've watched dudes laser me in the face with that thing .
I don't know if it's that or if there's a pistol , because the guy that killed me like he had a pistol , but like a 40 round mag full auto pistol yeah and I mean he killed me .
I'm sitting there , he killed me and then , because I was getting chased down or I saw him and then I'm going to ads on to him , and then I was just like gone , yeah , like I died so fast .
Because they were chasing you and I was right behind you and then when you died , I dropped down to the little hole and ran off to the side and then I backed up .
They ran past me and I had the LMG and I shot his buddy like eight times in the back as he ran away and that guy just turned with his gun and went , and and that guy just turned with his gun and went and I was dead .
Like we played , like what five games .
Yeah .
We played on the big map .
Yeah , we played on all we played Area 99 .
We played Deal Rebirth map .
Yeah .
I think the best game I had . I had four eliminations .
I had six in one of them and it was only because these guys were trying to get out of the gas and I killed like three , three or four of them right there at the end .
Yeah , we held out one team .
Yeah .
And I got like three of those guys .
But yeah , I guess it was the . Let's see , Let me find it . The SOG is what they killed me with , because that kind of looks like the gun that I remember seeing on the thing .
Yeah , that gun's out of control .
But yeah , I mean it's a little overpowered because it kills . Like I said , it feels like the bullets for every gun are the same amount of damage . So it feels like that's a little unfair when that one can shoot at light speed where you've got an LMG that can't take a guy down .
Because it's like why use anything else ? Yeah , there's no reason to not use it . It's like you need it .
The only problem is I don't have it . I need it to survive . But I mean , it's like last time with Warzone . It's going to take me a little bit to get used to the movement , adjust it the way I need it , get used to the recoil . And last night , because I don't have very many guns or attachments unlocked , that's probably part of the problem .
I can't really customize it to where it is more accurate . I have like two or three attachments for each slide .
Yeah , everything felt off playing last night , like running trying to slide cancel . Or I love when I'm running full tilt and I go to slide and I just hit B and my dude just comes to a complete stop and crouches Like that's what we wanted to do while we're getting shot .
Well , you saw the one where I was trying to get out of the smoke and I couldn't get over the little half wall .
Yeah , now you know how it feels .
Rock . Yeah , now you know how it feels . Rocks your mortal enemy . It was just then we had .
Then we had the one where we played on the big map , where you , we were , had the two guys that came off the train tracks towards the little shack that's next to the water where the two of them pinched you in before I could even get around the building and I killed one of them and then his buddy disappeared .
After I shot him like eight times , he disappeared somewhere , then came through the house , hit the smoke like gas grenade thing that I had where he couldn't see , like on his kill cam .
Everything was fuzzy and shaking and yet still killed me as I'm shooting him , as he's sliding around me shooting him , continuing to shoot him as he gets back up and kills me instantly yeah I don't understand't understand it sometimes .
There's a lot of BS out there and we don't want to be like oh , we died , so they're hacking .
I don't think those guys are hacking .
I think there's a huge problem with skill-based matchmaking . I think there's also a really big problem with ping in the servers , because the servers are old .
Well , I mean , like you said , I think there's skill-based damage and I think some of the servers , like you were saying , is kind of old , because the one time I got killed , like I said , I shot him with half a mag . He killed me and then on his kill cam , I wasn't even shooting at him , I was just looking at him .
Yeah , I've had that before , where I'm looking like a dude , I'm on his right , he's facing a totally different direction , I I start shooting him and then I die , whereas on his he was already looking at me when I came around the corner and I just watched his gun flick off and blow my brains out .
And I'm like what Tom's good at this game ? I'm okay , but I'm not that bad . I know I'm not that bad .
I know I was like . I know I'm not
¶ Frustrations With Skill-Based Matchmaking
bad at this . I'm good at this game . I don't understand why I'm not doing as well as I normally would Like in the last , like in Modern Warfare 3 , warzone yeah , like I was really good at that .
Well , I mean , we would usually , you know , as a team we'd get like two , three wins a night . But I don't know .
I mean we came in second place , but I think that team that beat us was hacking . When we died at Control Center . Oh yeah , Because that one dude .
Yeah , that's the same guy , the same game where we got instantly killed by the guy with the pistol . I think that was the same one .
No , that was a different game .
I do know they knew exactly where I was at whenever they ran through the building .
They followed me exactly yeah because I watched the dude comes in . He's shooting at my teammate . I'm shooting him with an SMG and I'm just shooting him in the shoulder and the side of his head and the side of his body and then he turns and just mows me down and I'm like I was about to pop my mag out and go blanks .
What killed me is the time that they killed me in that building . I had gotten in there . I was watching the spot that I heard them running from and they killed me before they registered on my screen as I'm watching the doorway they had to come through . He came in and killed me before I could , you know , get more than two shots off .
It's just annoying . Yeah , I mean , the multiplayer has been fun . I liked Stakeout 24-7 . Sometimes it's brutal . Some games I just quit out and now I've become like I would stay in the game . Now I'm just like no , I'm not putting myself through this , I just back out . You can't stop me , Cause it's like stay .
Guys Like , oh , I need , um , like certain things . I need to get these headshots or I need to get these sort of , you know , specialty kills , which are the . The camo grind has been pretty easy . If I didn't have a full-time job and a fiance have to pay bills and stuff and sleep , I could have been done with this in probably five days .
I could have done this in a week .
Well , I mean cause the headshots .
Like some games , I'll get three headshots , it's just . It is what it is , just because of how difficult the lobby is . Yeah , other games , I'll get 18 . I'll get 20 . Like I've I've gotten like five of them done , like five camos done in one game , just getting headshots , and it's like the first couple , it's just like all the way .
Like I'm halfway through the headshot grind almost , or a third of the way through it , because I got like 30 in like 20 minutes .
Well playing the regular multiplayer . The three guns that I would actually switch between to actually use , I think I'll unlock the first two or three camos for each of them .
And I'm particular how I do the camo grind . What pissed me off with the Marksman rifles , the SWAT 5.56 burst fire . This is a Marksman rifle , three round burst . In core it should be bump bump .
Yeah , two shots .
It should be the burst , and then the burst . If it's close enough and it's in the face , it should be the entire one burst Done . This is like yeah , while I'm mashing the trigger for the follow-up , half these guns . The rate of fire is so slow , you have to put rapid fire . You have to put that attachment .
And that's what I struggled with .
To get the follow-ups .
When we played Warzone with them because , like I said , I don't have all the guns unlocked , so the ones I had the rate of fire is not fast enough to keep up with anything else .
Yeah .
But I mean I got to use them to unlock the other stuff to level it up .
so it's like I need it on . I had to , and then it's 10 or 15 kills with a four times or greater optic . Yeah , and you didn't unlock any with that weapon . All I had , the best I could do was two times I had to go to a different rifle and get that one to level 10 , to unlock a scope , to put it on the other weapon .
So I could get that challenge .
Now one thing I found out that a lot of people aren't exactly happy with is that any scope now has a glint , even like the one times . What , yeah , even though like a one-time scope , and they said like cause it was somebody else , I think it was either it was either stone mountain or Tim that was .
They were playing and they found out a one-time scope has glint on it and it's like that kind of defeats the purpose of even using it .
Yeah , it's just his irons .
Yeah , he's like that's why you use the one times , because you know it gives you a little bit better picture and you know it doesn't show glint . He's like well , if that does that , you might as well use the eight you know at that point .
I will say the irons on a lot of the guns are good .
They're good sight picture they're not as crowded . Yeah .
And the visual recoil isn't horrible . Where , like I can't see them . Yeah , it's just the omni movement crap where dudes are like backwards , diving and hitting me the entire time .
Or my favorite is I got the guy lined up , I pulled the trigger for the headshot with like a shotgun or something and then they slide right under it and , just like you know , scuffs the top of their head and then they kill me in one shot . But then I see a dude and I go to slide and I get my brains decapitated .
My head just gets taken out and my my corpse just rag dolls into a wall .
What kills me about the Omni movement is . I ran into a guy at one point in one of the games where he was just trying to run around me and back and forth . All I can see is him on my screen because he's so close . I'm holding down the trigger and not getting any hit markers .
I know . He's like he's in a corner just running back and forth . It's like this isn't shooting fish in a barrel .
It confuses me . I don't understand .
He's not the Flash , he can't move that fast .
But evidently he can .
I am having fun with just doing the camo grind Because after I got Interstellar on the last one I was like I'm going to go for it on this one , because I think I said I was going to do it in my warfare too , but that was like brutally difficult . So this one is , like you know , because you can't do diamond until you do gold for the entire class .
And as soon as when I started , it's like first gun , whatever the first weapon is I'm going to use , like that's the class I'm going to start with . It's like all right , XM4 , cool , Assault rifles are first , Do all the assault rifles , Get all the headshots . Cool , get gold , Get all the headshots . Cool , get gold , Get all the headshots . Cool , get gold .
It's like all right , done diamond and diamond camo challenge is what the ? Because gold is get 10 double kills , Okay , which on Nuketown or Stakeout , it's almost impossible to not get it .
Yeah , I mean , but then again you got the people that just spam grenades .
Yeah , you got to spam grenades . And then you run into a room . You see a whole team has their back to you and then here comes your other teammate with a shotgun and just sweeps the room and you get one kill .
And then you get hit in the head with a baseball bat guy and then you see a bunch of dudes and someone throws a smoke grenade on your team and now you can't see anything and you're like whose side are you effing on , remember ?
what I don't understand is , because I wanted to try and like level it up some , I put the , the rpg on inside the stakeout , so I'm shooting a rocket . It explodes in the kitchen where this guy's hiding behind the thing , or not . He's not even hiding , he's standing there behind the like little counter . It explodes in that area and doesn't kill him .
It's an RPG .
Yeah , the rockets are weak .
Like the damage says . It's more than like the guns and stuff , but evidently not .
Not really .
Because I used that and never got one kill and I shot it like probably at least 20 times . My God , never got a kill , I just got hit markers every time .
You know what Darkspine is . You got to get three triple kills . Which is it three or five triple kills ? No , I think it's three triple kills , which I've done that . You can do that pretty easily , especially on Stakeout . If you hold down the hallway , you'll get them , you'll get them .
And then once you do Dark Sp for everything , then you unlock dark matter the challenges . It's not like you complete all dark spine , you just get it . You have to do the dark matter challenges for each weapon and that's , uh , get five kills without dying three times , which I mean I've done it . It's I , because that's bloodthirsty .
And I got a calling card for doing it 50 plus times .
And I'm like when I mean I would love to have those camos , but it bothers me and I want to have a good KD score , like right now . Mine's like 1.5 and you know , playing multiplayer I feel like that's good at the moment .
Yeah , 1.5 in multiplayer is really good For me .
I think the best I've ever had is like a 2.1 .
Because I think the average is like .8 . Okay , or like .7 .
My Average is like .8 . Okay , or like .7 . Yeah , my best KD in any Call of Duty that I can remember is probably like 2.1 or so , if you have a one point or more .
Kd , you're a good player . I don't believe anybody who's maintaining like a three point or a four point something I mean yeah . Kd in multiplayer it's like how many hours have you played ? Like how many kills ?
Yeah , in Warzone , we're not going to talk about that .
Because that would be like me , like the one game like I was playing . I was doing the LMG , one of them and I was hiding on Nuketown by the Jeep Because if I see the Jeepth kill my buddy Lane I'm playing with , he's like have you died yet ? And I was like . And then I got shot in the face and I was like you were I was like blew it .
Well , I have to say , like last night , one of the matches that we played , I had zero kills , eight deaths , and I'm like no one would die or I would kill them .
No , I get shit killed instantly and I'm shooting dudes Like I'm mag dumping . I have to reload and they're not dead . I didn't down them and I'm like what ?
is this ? Yeah , it killed me , because I died eight times .
It did kill us .
In 2000 .
Awful , dreadful . Have you played any of the zombies yet ? No , I don't care about the zombies .
I play zombies just because I used to like it a lot , and one thing I've noticed in this one is that they've kind of moved away .
You have your round based stuff yeah , but they've moved so far from that to where everything you do is like to do whatever mission or like to try and do the easter egg , which you know is fun to do , but once you've it that kind of defeats the whole purpose .
To me . I like to play in zombies . It doesn't seem like there's a lot of replay value .
Yeah , I like to do it in zombies . I like to try and beat the record of how many rounds I can go . But the way they've designed these maps , I mean you've got to unlock everything to be able to get to any guns .
Was it us that would play , and we'd do Keno Der Toten . The movie theater one .
I'm trying to remember .
Did I play that with you guys ?
I don't think so .
Was that before we met each other ?
No , it was before , I think we started playing with the first remake of Modern Warfare . Like me , you and Hayden .
Yeah , I remember we were playing . That was Modern Warfare 2019 .
But like the zombies , it's still the round-based stuff , but you have to unlock so many doors to where you can't really hold a position to try and beat the round , whereas used to I remember , like Ascension , like the Black Ops 2 , you'd unlock what you needed and then you could just run a circle and try and keep the zombies at bay while you come down .
Yeah , that's what we would do .
But nowadays it's all designed towards
¶ Frustrations With Modern Zombie Gameplay
doing the Easter egg , which , like I said , it's fun , but once you've done it then there's no point . It's just kind of boring , because I like there being a little bit of a story and stuff . But the round-based thing to me is , what was fun is trying to keep them away . And , granted , you can .
You can do tons of rounds now because , like you can fight a bunch of people , get in a boat and drive to another island and then they got to respawn so you just kill them as you go . Now there's some kind of like sea monster thing that if you're in the boat too long , it'll like , try and get you .
Yeah , it'll try and get you , but other than that , I mean , there's these flying bug things that will shoot at you .
Now so oh they , they brought in Prop Hunt .
Actually in the game . I thought that was just a PC part .
No , yeah , you can play it right now , after this episode Mitch we can pull it up , we can play .
To me that'd be fun to play because it's like hide-and-seek . Yeah , it'd be real fun to play with a private party of people .
Yeah , Certain things like that . I think would be a lot more fun with like just a group of friends , like everybody knows each other yeah , like it's like playing among us or something like that'd be fun yeah , but uh , I mean , yeah , the zombies .
It's not like it used to be , it's no , none of it's like how it used to be I played it like two , three , two or three times and I was like , yeah , this is kind of boring .
So I I really think skill based matchmaking is still ruining these games .
I mean , yeah , you would occasionally , without skill-based matchmaking , you'd occasionally be in a game where , like , the other team's just completely superior to you , but you could leave , go back out and then you know , the next game you'll be you know matched up with whoever . I mean .
But then also , if you got into a group with a bunch of randoms , you guys can stay as a team and just keep playing until you know the next . You know until either they left or you left . But now it wants to switch up , put you . Oh well , you know you've done this well , so you've got to play against a team , that's . You know this much better .
It's just I don't know Like .
I'm just tired of it being so much harder than it needs to be . Right , I don't play games enough to want to have to sweat it out every time . This is what ranked play is for , exactly , but apparently that cheating in ranked play is like insanity . Well , yeah , they're all hackers . It's so bad , but Ricochet is such a letdown . Right now .
You got dudes who are hacking who are like tier three prestige yeah accounts , like they've gone through 55 levels three times , like they have the camos and they're like and they're just hacking their balls off doing stuff , and it's just like , why aren't these accounts banned ?
Because I think , uh , watching westy talk about it , uh , they had Activision ban like 19,000 accounts , but then they changed it to hourly reviews and it's like that's an entire hour . Yeah , someone's ruining games .
Right .
Like why is it reactive ? Why isn't it actively looking ?
Why can't we be like Tim the Tap man and say , hey , I think this guy's cheating , and then all of a sudden , they just immediately get banned while you're watching ?
yeah , like the button , so I hit the button on this guy .
I mean , if you report somebody there ought to be like the computer system ought to be able to just like start keying on in on that gamer tag , maybe watch him for one more game and see and then kick him out . You know , I mean because I know that they can't just say , oh well , because that person thought he was cheating .
Because , yeah , I know there's a bunch of times where I'm like that guy's cheating and then I watch the kill count and I'm like , nope , he just got me .
Or you know , it's like this guy's cheating his balls off and we watch him , and we watch him play like a two-year-old and get schwacked by like another horrible player . We're like how did he get us ? Like what is this ? This is outrageous . I want to recount .
Yeah , but I mean I'm going to keep playing Warzone . Hopefully I'll get better and get more used to the way they've changed stuff .
Yeah , the looting felt off .
I mean , everything felt a little strange , but to me it felt that way last time they updated and changed warzone .
Yeah , I don't know , maybe you know , a couple more rounds , we'll uh , we'll be back in the game , we'll be back in the warzone . I am happy they got rid of that graves thing . It's like , oh , word came down from head . You guys are heading to the wars and it's like you're just standing there . It's like .
It's like no , it's just like helicopter , helicopter Dude takes out a pistol , tosses it to you , lock and load , and then you're at the door . It's like it's much better , it's so much better . That was a really good thing that they did .
That's all I got , though . Well , the next episode we'll see what we're going to do , and what we're going to talk about and what you're going to listen to Some more reviews . Yeah , I'll actually do some reviews and news , yeah , yeah .
Yeah , because I watch stuff too . Oh yeah , Good , Look at me Moving up in the world .
Anyways , we'll check you out next time . I'm Mitch , I'm Tom . See you later . Bye , christmas Vacation . Everybody knows there's not a better time of year . Hear that sleigh Santa's on his way . He'll kill for right for Christmas vacation .