When Dorothy struggles to connect with the kids in her honors progrum, Sophia tells her she was the brightest kid in Brooklyn™ growing up and it goes straight to her head. Speaking of State Fairs, Blanche's ego inflates until its bursts when a young actor mistakes her for Aurora's mother. It's grand..just grand.
Cat show? Dog show. Rose pursues a new career as a news reporter, but she's better with a hairbrush. Meanwhile, Blanche's perfect arrangement with Mel Bushman gets shaken up when she fears the Zipper King has died, finds out he hasn’t, and then seeks to complicate their “relationship.”
Dorothy is in cahoots with the manager of Cyrpus Grove to trick Sophia into believing she's there to be something between an employee and a volunteer when really, she's a guest! Meanwhile, Rose and Blanche get a modeling gig for a penny saver that turns out to be less glamorous than they expected. We'd sue!
Dorothy and Stan have been sneaking around and no one bothered to ask Sophia aka the Godfather. The old flames decide to get married, again, not in the presence of their children or grandchildren, but under the instruction of a no-nonsense wedding planner and famed attorney Marvin Mitchelson. Surprise, it doesn't work out! Meanwhile, Rose is stalked and harassed by Myra, whose weapon of choice is a crustacean!
What was supposed to be an enjoyable evening of Miles reading poetry to celebrate that nose-nipper, Robert Frost, goes totally awry when news breaks that The Cheeseman, a mob boss, has been killed. Through a series of small reveals that don't make a ton of sense, Miles comes clean as Nicholas Carbone, shrimp lover and snitch in a tie.
Valentine's Day is right around the corner, and what better way to celebrate than with Clayton and Doug's engagement! Blanche struggles with accepting her brother as gay...again, but with the help of the rest of the girls, comes around eventually. Meanwhile, Rose loses an award to a dead woman. Our interview with Elliot Powell: https://www.enoughwicker.com/post/okie-dokie-daddio-sex-gender-jazz-in-the-golden-girls Alok: https://www.alokvmenon.com/
Rose wants Miles to jump out of an air-a-plane to prove he loves her. Blanche is dating Rex Huntington, an abusive dirtbag who treats her terribly, and Dorothy decides to intervene. It takes Blanche a minute to come around, but luckily she sees the light. Meanwhile, Dorothy and Sophia work on the famous lunar landing puzzle. All of The Golden Girls Villains, Ranked, with illustrations from Wicker Good Memes is here: https://www.enoughwicker.com/post/all-of-the-golden-girls-villains-ranked...
In what is arguably the saddest episode of the entire series, we mourn Phil Petrillo. Family man, poker player, and style icon. Sophia confronts Phil's wife Angela aka Big Sally about a decades-long feud and the rest of the girls try and cope with the loss.
Blanche is checkin' out everything but the books at the library and comes across Mr. Ted Tanner, who turns out to be a jerk in a wheelchair. Meanwhile, Rose tries to convince the fam to let her keep Bingo, an absolutely adorable puppy, but as Dorothy puts it, no one lucid is home during the day to care for him.
St. Olaf is going through a drought and wants all of its one-time citizens, even those who live elsewhere, to join in the misery. Rose decides to commit to celibacy, but on the advice of Blanche, tries to use it as an opportunity to make Miles jealous, rather than tell the truth. Meanwhile, Blanche also inserts herself into Sophia's dating life, creating the infamous 65-year-old drag queen visual we know and love.
Mrs. Blanche Devereaux considers whether or not to stay Mrs. Blanche Devereaux when George's ghost shows up in Miami! Using one of the favorite tactics of TV at the time, Blanche dreams Geroge stained his desk and has been alive this whole time. Meanwhile, Sonny Bono and Lyle Waggoner compete for Dorthy's affection.
A nun has died and a dork in a Duster rams into Rose's car. Amid the grief of losing a friend, Sophia decides to join the convent. Meanwhile, Blanche uses Rose's car in a reckless attempt to meet rich men. None of it works out—what a load of fun!
Dorothy and Stan are back at it again! As though they're right back at prom night 1946, everybody's favorite divorced couple is sneaking around and carrying on like teenagers. Rose is having a problem at work with an overeager colleague that only Sophia can solve (sans dart gun).
Rose confronts her scumbag of a dentist who has been groping her while she's knocked out on laughing gas. Meanwhile, Dorothy aka Atila the Sub is filling in for a long-term job at a local Catholic high school. She has to decide whether or not to fail Kevin, a charming but lazy football star who refuses to apply himself academically, amid pressure from a priest, a dumb (but also charming in his own right!) coach, an active—and potentially threatening—alumni. Tunnels, he loved to drive through tun...
Big Daddy created a lot of problems for his family, even in death! Viola Watkins, Blanche's beloved "Mammy" shows up in Miami (after calling!) to ask for a music box she gave to Blanche's father, who we learned she loved. Blanche has to reconcile with the affair, while Sophia covertly signs Dorothy up for a matchmaker. Rose reveals her nanny was a goat and learns how to pronounce the first name of Mrs. Eisenhower.
In this one, Dorothy Zbornak (Miracle Worker) tries to help Jimmy, played by the incomparable Martin Mull, confront decades of life as a shut-in. Is she qualified, you ask? Not at all! Meanwhile, Rose decides she must throw Blanche a birthday party, even as Blanche's preferred method of coping with aging comes in the form of young men and living with women who look a lot older than she does!
With his invention, the Zbornee, Stanley is helping thousands of people open baked potatoes without burning their fingers and raking in the cash. He wants to share with his very best used-to-be (and her mother, who willfully accepts) but Dorothy is hesitant at first. Meanwhile, Rose makes sure to hold onto her I Lost My Ass in Vegas cup but somehow lets Blanche take thousands of dollars in St. Olaf war bonds. Blanche has to decide if keeping her newfound fortune is worth bankrupting the Cradle o...
We lost Sophia, but we found Rose's father (he's an earthling!). The Girls are back at the hospital because Sophia has a hernia that we're led to believe is from moving furniture at Dorothy's request, but is actually a consequence of a hilarious prank. While there, Rose, an expert candy stripper and purveyor of Traditional St. Olaf Funpacks runs into her natural father, who turns out to be a dancing monk.
We're officially in Season 6 and Becky is back! After visiting a birthing center where it sounds like a mommy is on fire, she decides to instead deliver her baby at a Miami hospital, without regard for what that will to do Blanche's reputation. Eventually, Blanche accepts that Becky is pursuing single motherhood and has a moment of reflection where she realizes that is actually incredibly brave. Meanwhile, hyper-competitive Rose tries to satisfy her dead parents by pursuing an ice skating career...
Another two-part, clip show, season finale! Only this time, President Bush is stopping by to visit. Dorothy plans to share all of her gripes (most of which we share!) with the Prez, but freezes up in a classic "..Bush..." scene. Meanwhile, a charming Secret Service agent grills the girls to make sure it's safe for Mr. No New Taxes to stop by. Stanley brings over his greatest novelty to date, and it's a great end to Season 5!
Rose takes up painting and obviously, she can't paint a horse from memory, so asks someone to accompany her to the racetrack. Blanche, despite having a pass to the jockey's lounge, can't make it--largely because she's working her new boss Donald for 12 hours a week at the museum--so Dorothy hesitantly agrees to go. Unfortunately, one good day of picking winners reignites a vicious gambling problem that almost cost Dorothy everything years earlier.
Beloved by oldster fans of the Golden Girls and beginners alike , the Girls are hot and heavy at the wedding of Dorothy's god-daughter to the grandson of Giuseppe Mangiacavallo, Sophia's once betrothed and now multi-millionaire. Dorothy and Blanche work through some deep-seated stuff that will continue to come up again and again, and we learn that Rose is peeping the priests' buns! Meanwhile, Sophia watches a very slow-acting curse in action. What a load of fun!...
So Glen, how come you cheated on your wife? Glen O'Brien, Dorothy's old and formerly married flame, is back--only this time he's played by Jerry Orbach. The two have such magnetic chemistry, but ultimately, Dorothy must choose herself. Meanwhile, a couple of fraudsters prey on the old and the gullible at the mall and Blanche & Sophia lose thousands of dollars--what a load of fun!
In this all-time favorite, Blanche's sister Charmaine and Stan's cousin Magda are both in Miami at the same time. Charmaine and Blanche appear to be getting along--a surprise for Hollingsworth siblings--until Blanche is convinced Charmaine borrowed her life story and sexual escapades for her book. Meanwhile, Magda butts heads with all of the other Girls, but most strongly with Dorothy, on the merits of communism vs. capitalism. One thing we can all agree on is that sex sell and slurpees rule....
Buzz Mueller, Rose's 'one that got away' is in town! The snappy-dressing showman sweeps Rose off her feet and wants to bring her on tour with his band. Despite things going well with Miles, Rose considers it and asks if it is possible to love two men at the same time. Meanwhile, Sophia is hanging out with the wrong crowd and Dorothy firmly objects after a night that starts with Blanche's friend Mr. Big and ends with Schlomo. Sophia moves in with a senile art collector for a bit until everything ...
In a very special episode, we are joined by the only man to ever put his own head on Fifi's body, Chris Gallo of OhShuptUpRose.com and Golden Girls Posters ! We start by talking about all of Chris' Golden Girls-related projects and then jump into one of his favorite episodes, Scared Straight. We cover everything from Phil Petrillo's significance to whether or not Rose would have actually said "Clayton is a hobo" to #coughgate88. It's bound to be Doug's favorite and is our last episode of the yea...
In this frequently-referenced and celebrated episode, Rose learns she may have contracted HIV through a blood transfusion years ago. Our main focus is the the 72 hours, hence the title, between getting tested and receiving the results. This is an incredibly powerful episode even today but especially at the time it aired. There is a throughline of de-stigmatizing HIV/AIDS and a poignant scene where Blanche directly addresses Rose and America at-large with the simple truth that AIDS is not a bad p...
Barrett and Kay from So Good We Named It are here to help us cut those ribbons at Piggly Wiggly! Yes, it's another Hurricane Saturday, as the four of us discuss episode 120 of the Golden Girls, An Illegitimate Concern. David shows up out of nowhere and borderline stalks Blanche, who at first (naturally) finds it flattering, but then is hit harder with reality than Rose is with the Metro Section when David reveals he's Geroge's son. Meanwhile, Sophia and Dorothy make lovely first runners-up at th...
Blanche has to get a pacemaker put in and is overwhelmed with the fear and anxiety that comes with that. Also, because it's Blanche, physical health=sexuality, so the effect is even deeper. Each of the other girls offers support in their own ways, the most memorable being Rose's World War I lullaby.
Sophia's memories are fading and so she and Dorothy make a trip up to Brooklyn, where, thanks to a pretty rude version of Sal's ghost and a few sentimental visuals, it all (kind of) comes back. Meanwhile, Blanche accuses Rose of sex discrimination and bolsters the case that the two of them are maybe not meant to work together.
