The government is being kinder, gentler, and supplying Sophia with an extra $170K in social security checks, Blanche is using a rented Mercedez as a way to meet men, and Miles' daughter Caroline is being a real B to Rose, who is just trying to make his birthday special. This three-plot episode has a ton of great lines and doesn't require too much analysis.
Rose signs up for a positive thinking group where the leader won't even tell her she's special. Dorothy buys it for a minute, but a good order of lunch meat and a few days later, she and Melanie Griffith are off it. Meanwhile, Blanche goes back and forth with a new flame but is scared out of making a real commitment when he runs into a health issue and plunges into a bit of self-referential deep thinking herself.
Mary, who we've never seen before and never will again, shows up on the Girls' doorstep k-nocked up and svingle. Apparently, she's known them all her life, as they were all very close with her late mother. Fine. Dorothy is able to impart some experience-based wisdom on both Mary and her estranged father, using a St. Olaf story in a moment of desperation. Meanwhile, the fire of Blanche's loins shows up unexpectedly and the girls learn he hasn't, in fact, paid his debt to society.
In this holiday-themed episode, the Girls pull names (whose names are they gonna be anyway?!) out of a hat for a gift exchange and decide since they all stand an equal chance to have their Christmas ruined by receiving a nonrefundable yodel lesson, it's a fair way to do gifts. Meanwhile, Stan hits rock bottom and totally loses perspective, unable to recognize the privileges life has afforded him, even as he discusses the consequences of the Soviet Empire falling while being surrounded by homeles...
Big Daddy, Blanche's beloved--if wildly problematic--father has died. Rue McClanahan delivers a powerhouse of an emotional performance as Blanche works through grief, and we're reminded that Dorothy Zbornak is one hell of a pal & a confidante. Meanwhile, Sophia turns the Girls' home into a guest house for clumsy tourists who have no respect for commemorative plates.
Michael is in town and he is at his most insufferable! Dorothy, encouraged by Blanche, challenges Michael to "grow up" and take control of his life. Eventually, Stan and Sophia see she's right and they all hit him with a bit of "rough love." Meanwhile, Rose is overworked and confronts her boss Enrrrrrique Mas, who because he is an absolute gem of an employer, hears her and heeds the call.
Dorothy is emotionally rocked when an old high school friend Helen Colquist, known to some as the fat woman with a wooden leg and a hairless cat named Cincinnati Jake, died during a visit to Miami before the two of them could get together. As she goes through her yearbook, Dorothy is shocked to find how many of her classmates have died (fun, fun, fun!) and comes to a realization that she must try a standup comedy set, a dream she had put on the backburner. Meanwhile, Rose deals with something ju...
George's younger brother is in town and Blanche, forgetting how much Jamie looks and sounds like George, has fantasies of becoming Mrs. Blanche Devereaux. Meanwhile, Sophia commits grand theft auto using the phonebook as a booster seat.
TW: Talk of suicide and suicidal thoughts. In one of the heaviest episodes of the series, Sophia's friend Martha contemplates ending her life as she fears what is to come as she ages. Meanwhile, the rest of the girls give an iconic performance of Mr. Sandman as they babysit little Frank, whose fever is concerningly high. If you are struggling with suicidal thoughts or in crisis, the National Suicide Prevention Hotline is available 24 hours a day at 1-800-273-8255. You can also text HOME to 74174...
Rose, Miles is here! This episode features the return of Harold Gould aka Arnie aka Nicholas Carbone aka Miles Webber, who is Rose's partner at the ballroom. They have physical chemistry--he dips her all evening--but Rose is intellectually intimidated by his college professor friends. Meanwhile, Sophia charges for dances and Blanche tries to work off her "excess sexual energy" with the most tedious house task of all. PS. If you haven't already, check out So Good We Named It here ....
Didn't they almost have it all! In this one, Dorothy is dating a top Miami lawyer™ played by TV Great, Dick Van Dyke. Their chemistry is so palpable, that she even contemplates life as Mrs.KennethWhittingham, but ultimately, Ken's choice to switch from lawyering 70 hours a week to performing with Ringling Brothers illuminates that there's something just not there for the two. Meanwhile, Rose motivates the crew to protest the tuna fisherman's killing of dolphin and Blanche throws a punch.
In this one, Rose asks Enrrrrrique Mas to help her out with an age discrimination case after losing Charlie's pension and ends up with something even better--a job as a production assistant! Meanwhile, Sophia uses her Shopper's Warehouse card to buy toothbrushes, oatmeal cookies, and sardines.
Oh boy, we're going to a sperm bank! Blanche's daughter Rebecca is back in town with big news: she's getting impregnated on Monday! Blanche, who spent her mothering years screaming for the governess for nothing, feels betrayed, confused, and infuriated by Becky's decision...to take control of her own life. The rest of the girls coach her through it, but not before a classic universal "ewwwww" to artificial insemination around the dinner table. Meanwhile, Dorothy tries to trick Sophia into going ...
We're up and running in Season 5! In the two-part season premiere, we find Dorothy, an otherwise healthy woman whose only medical woes were once digesting raw vegetables and a cracking jaw, feeling exhausted, sick, and frustrated that no doctor seems to believe she has a real, medical problem. This storyline represents Susan Harris, the creator of The Golden Girls, and her own struggle to get doctors to believe her Chronic Fatigue Syndrome was not a 100% tiptop mental problem. Meanwhile, Blanche...
In a less-than-thrilling send-off to an excellent Season 4, Mr. Yakamora, a wanna-be real estate mogul (played by the late, great Ralph Ahn), makes a wildly high offer on Blanche's house. The Girls contemplate the realities of moving, Rose and Sophia most fearful, and reminisce about their musical escapades, the relatives that have stayed with them, and more. It's a decent slip show with a pretty bizarre ending that neatly wraps up the 4th season.
In one of the whackiest of all-time episodes, Sophia's old friends Dominic and Philomena Bosco, aka Freida Claxton and Vincenzo the Contractor (actually aka Nan Martin and Vito Scotti) come to take Dorothy, their alleged biological daughter, back to Sicily for an arranged marriage. Meanwhile, Blanche and Rose are inspired by Lawrence of Arabia and decide to take up dirty dancing, with one of them taking much easier to the craft than the other.
In honor of Golden Con next week, we are rerunning our fan contribution episode. The Golden Girls is about community, so we hope you all have the best time, send us your photos--we'll double exposure ourselves right in!! We'll see you at the next one and we hope you'll contribute to our next Enough Wicker fan episode! TYFBAF! Hello and Happy New Year! This episode is made up of your scholarly observations, thoughtful takeaways, and hilarious impressions of the greatest television show of all tim...
Oh boy, a whole episode about body negativity and dieting, wahoo! We kid, we kid. But in this one, the Girls are all dealing with their weight and appearance; Sophia is hellbent on gaining a pound to get back to her ideal weight while the rest of the crew tries working out and new hairstyling in order to look their best for an annual summer party. A classic clip show where, even in their desperation, the Girls can't be convinced to join Stanley's self-help pyramid scheme club.
In this one, Sophia busts her friend Lilian out of Sunny Pastures, a rundown nursing home struggling in the age of Reagan-era cuts. Meanwhile, Blanche gets a bonus and initially plans to put the money in her bosom account, but in the end, decides her found money would be better spent in another way.
She's mopey, dopey, and full of crap, Rose's sister. In this one, Holly, Rose's flute-playing, philandering, annoying AF little sister comes to Miami and charms Blanche and Dorothy right away. Sophia sees through it a bit and councils Rose to let them see it for themselves, and boy do they ever. Meanwhile, Sophia agrees to dogsit two Dreyfuses.
In a heavier A-story that is all too timely, Rose confronts an addiction to pills. She reveals her doctor prescribed painkillers for an old farm injury decades ago, and she's been taking them daily ever since. The Girls rally together to help her address the problem and thankfully, come out of a 30-day treatment program as the same ol' Rose. Meanwhile, Sophia and Dorothy are cast in a commercial for a local pizza place, but it doesn't exactly work out.
And she's a teacher too! Dorothy's high school best friend Trudy McMahon comes to Miami for their high school reunion and brings along her handsome husband Jack, a pair of new A+ breasts, and a drive for competition. Dorothy literally kills Trudy on the tennis court, or so we think, and then wants to spend the entire evening of her reunion screwing around in the bedroom when there are important things to do outside. This is a laugh-out-loud episode with a plot that makes no sense, and that is so...
Rose makes the mistake of trusting Sophia with a large sum of money the Girls intend to use for a joint CD account, and rather than buying a handful of magic beans or completing the task, Sophia brings home a prizefighter. Apparently, some kind of transaction goes down at a bus stop, and bim bam boom, the Girls are now responsible for training and housing this young fighter who, as is later revealed, is also a multi-talented artist.
Dorothy is in charge of finding talent for an upcoming variety show and recruits Rose, Blanche, and Sophia to help. The Donatello Triplets prove to be worthy headliners, even if the one juggling Sklarkievich Brother leaves a bit to be desired, but the major gap to fill is that they need an MC. Rose, leaning heavily on a parasocial relationship she built with Bob Hope, tells the girls not to sweat it, as she'll just make a quick call to her birth father and their problems will be solved. There's ...
Chalk it all up to synergism. In this one, Dorothy and Sophia are shaken up by the rate at which Sophia's friends are dying. Dorothy's response is to book a suite at Disney World and look at old photos, rather than ride the rides (or, thankfully, to have Sophia seized by Shady Pines staff on the tarmac). Sophia, meanwhile, wants to leave Memory Lane for Space Mountain. At home, Blanche, who apparently has a talent for drawing, and Rose work on a children's book about Toonder the Mediocre Tiger a...
In your classic clip Golden Girls clip show, we've got Sal being a total bagagalupe and Sophia's dad letting him know it, Blanche meeting another gay man in Clayton's favorite bar, the girls going to a nudist resort, and Blanche bringing sexual liberation and responsibility to a Greater Miami pharmacy. What a load of fun! Happy Valentine's Day to each and every one of our listeners and remember, you're special.
In this one, Dorothy engages in the age-old practice of #sportnookie with Eddie, whose apparent sexual prowess is hidden beneath an unassuming exterior. Meanwhile, Blanche and Rose decide to mentor two teenage punks and end up in the slammer.
Sophia is called upon to perform a Sicilian act of vengeance while Rose deals with sexual frustration, just another day in the Golden Girls' house. In this one, Rose is seeing a man named Ernie, a corporate attorney who does not have a drinking problem, and everything is going well until he reveals that he is impotent (bon appetit). After a romantic getaway fails, a steamy exchange over dinner finally does the trick. Meanwhile, Sophia receives a feather in the mail and must avenge her scarecrow ...
In this episode, Blanche meets a charming, handsome man who knows the ins and outs of high society food pairings. It should be perfect, but John is blind, and so Blanche, who derives most of her self-worth from her looks, is left wondering what he could possibly like about her. Meanwhile, Rose and Dorothy (and eventually Sophia) coach a peewee football team where all the boys are named Victor. The Coaching Lessons of the Golden Girls Golden Girls Sports Podcast...
Is that an original DeKimmel!? In this one, the roof is leaking and rather than shell out the dough like any normal landlord, Blanche is focused on preserving a towel that never contained baby Skippy. While trying to come up with the cash for a new roof, the girls hear that Jasper DeKimmel, a cranky-but-talented artist is nearing the end of his life, so naturally, they divert their funds and buy one of his pieces at an auction.
