Often couples have a mismatch in their sexual desire, and sometimes that desire is stronger in the females, not just the males, contrary to popular belief, and the reasons are complex, no matter the case for either spouse. Whatever your story is, today's episode reminds you of ways you can discuss and work through your mismatched sexual desire as you walk through through this busy season with beautiful connection as well. Also, make sure you visit www.EnneagramandMarriage.com for all of our deal...
Nov 27, 2024•15 min•Season 6Ep. 76
Relational triggers only get worse when we're not aware of our focus of attention and blind spots. Today we're grateful to have world-renowned psychiatrist Dr. Dan Siegel, MD, (Harvard Medical School, Author of the NYT Best-Selling The Whole Brained Child) on the Enneagram & Marriage podcast to help us process relational triggers of each type and how to create a healthy window of tolerance as we walk through the nine patterns of development today. Dr. Siegel, MD is one of the foremost expert...
Nov 25, 2024•46 min•Season 6Ep. 78
Communication between partners can get very sticky around the holidays so today we’re taking some time to allow you a chance to refresh and review the best ways to communicate as partners of each type. It won’t be easy at times, but these E + M quick tips will help you to have a beautiful glow all season long. Listen now to add a little sparkle of kindness into your season! Watch on YouTube! https://youtu.be/hzAwqYyn6DM Get Christa's book for stocking stuffers or as part of a holiday gift packag...
Nov 20, 2024•15 min•Season 6Ep. 74
We see others' shadows readily, but seeing and releasing our own shadows is where the real change begins, even as we learn to move beyond our protective but maladaptive shadow responses. Today we talk with master Enneagram teacher Leslie Hershberger about how to release your most polarizing dynamics as we walk through each and every personality type. This is a deeper dive Enneagram-specific master training you don’t want to miss! Watch on YouTube! https://youtu.be/lNdEtSaf3Gc Find Leslie's truly...
Nov 18, 2024•1 hr 22 min•Season 6Ep. 72
With the holidays around the corner, it’s time to get refreshed and to get into better habit-building for you and your marriage and family. Today Christa takes you through five areas for better habit-building that you can work on individually or together with us! Take a moment to set some Atomic Habits around fitness, food, communication, marriage, and tech this season. Watch on YouTube here! https://youtu.be/xCGF7tIgppo Who can you share these tips with? Spread the word about the podcast here b...
Nov 13, 2024•12 min•Season 6Ep. 73
Modern-day kids have so much to contend with between technology, AI, and also just learning who they’re becoming as they rapidly change. As a parent, you want to give them great tools to learn about who they are and who they’re becoming and the Enneagram offers such a big help with this! Join us in a pivotal conversation about the Enneagram and kids right here! Whether you're trekking through this stage now or just want to have fun with us as you look out at what's on the horizon, your kids and ...
Nov 11, 2024•51 min•Season 6Ep. 72
Maintaining peace is hard on a week when the world feels a bit less stable during election week. Here are three tips for maintaining peace as you learn to focus on the here and on what you can do to take your peace back. Listen to this mini-episode here! Watch on YouTube here! https://youtu.be/cYNPrvfP9I0 Who can you share these tips with? Spread the word about the podcast here by leaving your review so others can find it, too!: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/enneagram-and-marriage/id1493...
Nov 06, 2024•12 min•Season 6Ep. 72
When we stop talking, we stop connecting, and this is a week in the world when we realize that kind and deep conversations are more essential than ever. Yet when we’re exhausted and weary of the distancing that can come with conflict, it’s difficult to know where to start. Today we're grateful for popular Marriage365 experts and authors Casey and Meygan Caston, who have the #1 Marriage App sharing with us about how we can hold safe and deep conversations regularly with joy. Here they walk us thr...
Nov 04, 2024•41 min•Season 6Ep. 71
The term mental load is a hot-button issue right now in relationships, and for good reason. Many individuals, often women, but sometimes men too, find themselves in a never-ending but invisible stage-manager-like role for the family. They are behind-the-scenes, organizing everything and everyone and burnout hits hard. Tune in to this E + M mini episode today to find out more about how you can reduce mental load and find more joy in your life together again. Watch on YouTube here! https://youtu.b...
Oct 30, 2024•23 min•Season 6Ep. 70
Many times we want to work everything out relationally with our partner, but often the work must start within by finding your beliefs, emotions, and story. Today we have the rich expertise of husband, father, photographer, and marriage and family therapist Blake Roberts, MMFT, Enneagram 9 to help us through to trauma to regulation. Join us for an important talk with action steps for you regarding how you can find your stride, and learn more about Blake and his 9-2 story as well right here, too! ...
Oct 28, 2024•55 min•Season 6Ep. 69
When you're feeling misaligned as a couple, relationship desire is lower and you feel so misunderstood. Today not only do you get to walk through the various ways couples can become misaligned, but most importantly Christa guides you back to alignment together right here! You'll find out ways every type comes to find themselves misaligned as well as get step-by-step processes for finding the ways you join best once again or for the very first time. Listen to this E + M Mini episode here! Watch o...
Oct 23, 2024•21 min•Season 6Ep. 68
Authenticity is deeply important for a thriving marriage, yet authenticity without intentional growth can bring out the very worst of humanity. Listen to this foundational E + M episode to learn several ways to thrive in authenticity and as a result, bring your marriage to new levels of acceptance, love, and grace, even if you've had an avoidant or anxious attachment in the past, and been afraid to be real. We cover stories, tangible ways to grow in authenticity, and most of all, how you can gro...
Oct 21, 2024•32 min•Season 6Ep. 67
In our series, we’ve been connecting on how desire is built, but in this deeper dive episode, we talk about what prevents desire and how it is lost and recovered. We talk about the shadows we carry that carry us farther apart from another and how to return home to desire for one another as well. Visit www.EnneagramandMarriage.com for more tools and freebies! Visit Apple Podcast to subscribe to all the podcasts in the "Building Desire" series! Want to share the light? Spread the word about the po...
Oct 16, 2024•33 min•Season 6Ep. 65
Although it's true that often the partners in a relationship have differing desires, it's also true that we must find ways back to harmony after conflict. Today we get to talk to Enneagram expert Kristi Rowles (Enneagram University), cp6, about how to work through conflict with scaling, balancing of instincts, and so much more. We also learn more about the counterphobic 6 space and Kristi's open cart anf sale for Enneagram University! Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/Hv3IVHVVxAM The Enneagram ...
Oct 16, 2024•49 min•Season 6Ep. 66
Growing up in spaces of faith, many if not most of us have inadvertently picked up on several toxic fallacies as we consider both how to espouse a mature Christian faith and yet also strive for a thriving sex life together in marriage. Many of those beliefs have even been taught from the pulpit, even the ones stirring us to become sexual objects. Yet both biblical truth and research portray for us that guilting or shaming one another in the bedroom instead draws a wider gap of true intimacy. Dr....
Oct 12, 2024•38 min•Season 6Ep. 65
We don't always know what to do when storms hit us, whether bad weather hits us internally or externally (such as the current hurricane season), but here on today's mini pod, Christa gives everyone the much-needed reminder of doing what we can do (and even should do) when choices are otherwise limited. Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/ix3o_O_CAcc Want to share the light? Spread the word about the podcast here by leaving your review so others can find it, too!: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/pod...
Oct 09, 2024•14 min•Season 6Ep. 65
Even if you're lined up with meaningful work you enjoy, if you're burning the wick at both ends in any way, your central nervous system doesn't know how to respond and your body may be experiencing trauma. If you're feeling weary on the journey of life or faith at all, make sure you take a deep breath with us and shift back into health as we invite the esteemed author and professor Dr. Chuck DeGroat on the podcast today to address helping you to find safety with yourself and with God as we share...
Oct 07, 2024•47 min•Season 6Ep. 64
In your marriages, sometimes you may feel like the only purpose you have is just to get by. Today’s episode offers tips for each and every type to not just survive, but to thrive with self-care, connection, but also specific purpose so they can live out their beautiful God-given dreams together and individually as well. Tune in here for just the mini-dose of inspiration you need this E + M mid-week!! Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/bociq4n1tSY 📣📣📣 CONTEST RULES: Submit a screenshot or cut ...
Oct 02, 2024•29 min•Season 6Ep. 63
Often you can’t quite put your finger on what’s wrong in your marriage but you know you’re floating in opposite directions, drifting apart, and headed into a danger zone. This episode with marriage and leadership coach Lance Howard, Enneagram 9 (9-6 pairing) is full of great insights and tips so you can find more about your God-given gifts and goals individually and together. This is an episode for anyone who is struggling to find their values, live them out, or speak them out. More about Lantz:...
Sep 30, 2024•43 min•Season 6Ep. 62
Conversations around furniture are frequent in couple's sessions. Where couples sleep, how they sit, where they eat - all of this carries meaning to every couple. In other words, the setting for the stories we tell matters. How does the way you set up your home matter to your marriage? There are many intimacies lost and found in the way we organize the furnishings in our home, vie for power, and distance, struggle, and lament can result. Listen to this essential E + M mini to get tips for crafti...
Sep 25, 2024•20 min•Season 6Ep. 61
Today's must-listen podcast episode is a vital piece of the sex talk you never got - a conversation about sexual issues as they show up in almost every marriage as a result of shame and contempt born of most men's first encounters with sex because of the earliest introductions to sex via pornography and other counterfeit distortions with marriage therapist and author, Sam Jolman, Type 4 (4-4 pairing). Here we bring a respectful conversation geared toward the reminders of the God-given gift of wo...
Sep 23, 2024•51 min•Season 6Ep. 60
In our quest to ensure our needs are met, it’s very common to start the work by getting self-care and then getting irritated with our spouse when they don’t know exactly how to meet our needs. Today’s mini-podcast helps you to get unstuck when you’re in process and trying to move through conflict in healthy ways and then find a disconnection ensues. Whatever you do, don’t withdraw away from the most important conflicts you need to have, instead listen to this mini episode for encouraging tips on...
Sep 18, 2024•16 min•Season 6Ep. 60
Trauma is so psychologically destructive largely because our brain is not able to create a coherent and empowering narrative out of what happened without support. Today on the podcast, writing teacher and coach Mara Eller, MA, Type 4 (4-7 pairing), gives us that support as she shows us how at the right time and with the right support, we can relive some of those stories in a supportive context where we are safe, and as well as move past these hurts with wisdom and integration. Mara also shares b...
Sep 16, 2024•59 min•Season 6Ep. 59
Today in this E + M special, we take the justice-fighting lens together as a community to bring awareness to the issue of sex trafficking and sexual exploitation in relationships and around the world. We have a leading world expert with us to talk about it today, Exodus Cry founder, filmmaker, and artist, Benjamin Nolot (Enneagram 4), who shares the mission and issues involved on all sides of sex trafficking and exploitation, from pornography to sex trafficking. Make sure you tune in as we break...
Sep 11, 2024•43 min•Season 6Ep. 58
Culturally, it's very hard for busy, overwhelmed individuals to take time to sit with and process emotions. Yet today's podcast guest, renowned trauma and StoryWork therapist Adam Young, (The Place We Find Ourselves podcast) Enneagram 8 (8-9 pairing), encourages us to do exactly that - sit in the hard and allow yourself time and attention to what's holding you back from thriving so you can heal together with support. This is a must-listen episode as we examine his journey on this, why many peopl...
Sep 09, 2024•36 min•Season 6Ep. 57
Every couple desperately needs to know how to repair, yet few know the steps for doing so. Finding one another after a conflict is hard, since couples typically either self-protect by imploding while still hurt or by lashing out. Today Christa educates you on one-to-one tactics you can use to bring life back into the relationship. In today's E + M episode, individuals get the chance to get those tangible steps, both in general and type by type. Tune in to this must-listen episode and save it aga...
Sep 04, 2024•19 min•Season 6Ep. 56
It's one thing to be vulnerable by choice and quite another to find yourself unwittingly so. Today, we discuss the healthiest ways to share our human vulnerabilities with expert Raleigh Sadler, Enneagram Type 6 (The MercyCast ) in a rich conversation on what vulnerability is and how hard it is to be vulnerable in relationships, especially when we've been burned or haven't known how to navigate sensitive terrain. Here you'll find tips for when to lean in, when to set some distance, and when rest ...
Sep 02, 2024•55 min•Season 6Ep. 55
When spouses don't align on their deepest core values, it's hard to get along and yet many spouses find it hard to articulate what those core values even are for them. Today Christa walked you through a few simple exercises to get in touch with the values inside of you so you can live most authentically as yourself, and also learn to appreciate those values your spouse brings to the table, disparate though they may be. Listen right here on this brand new mini-episode just for you as you align wi...
Aug 28, 2024•20 min•Season 6Ep. 54
When heartbreak happens, you're not alone. Yet often our first human instincts involve shutting down fast and then isolating ourselves, spilling grief into unhealthy corners such as overworking, overly seeking commendation, or just disconnecting from God and others in our lament. Today we talk with author and poet Tanner Olson, Type 3 (3-5 pairing), @Written to Speak about instead bringing these laments into the light. Tanner takes us on a deep dive into his experience of finding the light of Ch...
Aug 26, 2024•43 min•Season 6Ep. 53
Each of us has emotional parts of ourselves that are difficult to access - we are busy and survival does not allow for constant and deep self-attunement. Today, in this powerful E + M mini-episode, Christa welcomes you to find your healthiest rhythms with yourself as we walk through several simple self-attunement exercises as you welcome a new season. Here we invite you to deeper emotional practices and margin to bring you more in touch with yourself and the ways you’ll need to balance and truly...
Aug 21, 2024•17 min•Season 6Ep. 53
