The Comfort Zone

I'm back, guys. Sorry for the wait. I was on vacation, a very necessary vacation. I always think I'm doing fine until I get out of the city and disconnect for a while, and I realized that I actually really needed to get away. But anyway, I'm back. Today's episode is more of a philosophical general advice kind of episode, and it's about the concept of the comfort zone.

The reason I wanted to talk about this is because not only has it been on my mind a lot, but because it's applicable to everything we do in life, really. This is also something I've been struggling with over the last few years, and something I'm finally coming to terms with. So let's jump in. You are listening to episode one hundred and twelve of English with Dane. Hit it. Maybe someone who is shy would dread giving a presentation in front of his or her peers or colleagues.

Someone who is very outgoing and sociable might dread something like a time of the year in which friends are all away visiting family and they have to spend time on their own, which an introvert might really look forward to. The point is that whether they are similar or not, we all have a comfort zone in which we feel safe and well comfortable. I'm now coming to terms with the fact that comfort zones are slow killers. They slowly drain our power, so to speak.

The longer you stay in that comfort zone, the more comfortable it gets, and the more we struggle to break out. I struggled with the whole comfort zone thing a lot in my life, I think. For the longest time I didn't eat certain foods, I didn't try new activities or challenges, and when faced with the opportunity to speak a new language, I've shied away. I've become timid in the moment and haven't jumped in. It's like the moment was too big and I didn't want to look stupid.

For me, that's the big one looking stupid, appearing ignorant in front of people. It's an insecurity of mine. So I stay within the fields in which I know I have skill or knowledge. I think now though, I'm at a point where I hate my comfort zone because it's taken away so much from me in terms of experiences, personal growth, and personal relationships. I think if I had just dived in, so maybe I would feel better about myself and I would have enjoyed life more.

I'm not saying I haven't enjoyed life because I have, but I could have been enjoying it more. Quick story. So I went to Mallorca recently, just got back this week. We went to visit some friends, explore some galas, etc. As you do when you're in an idyllic place like Mallorca. The last three days we went to visit our friends who live in a beautiful, remote town in the mountains, but next to the beach, of course.

Our friends are really into swimming in the ocean, snorkeling, spear fishing, diving, etc. And although I've always been a strong swimmer, I'm more of a city boy, so I've mostly done my swimming in pools. I knew that going out there we were going to be doing some of those activities.

Now, before we got there, I was actually kind of nervous and quietly freaking out a little bit an de la idea de going snorkeling, interacting with marine wildlife, open ocean, etc. I was excited about the trip, but kind of dreading the activities. I know that some of you are listening to this thinking, come on, Dane, it's just snorkeling. What's going to happen? You're going to see an octopus touch a fish, big deal. And you're right.

I think what was the biggest stress factor for me was just doing something new that I wasn't good at and thinking of all the million things that could go wrong. What if there's a bunch of jellyfish and they all start stinging me? What if I swim too far out and get caught in a current? What if there's a shark?

What if I get tired and I don't have the energy to swim back to shore, etc. etc. So the day came, we went down to the beach, we put on our snorkeling equipment, and I slowly got into the water, determined not to show anyone that I was actually nervous, scared even, intimidated by the moment. Oh, and also we were told that there were jellyfish around, medusas or malawas or awaviva or whatever you call them in your home country. Great, I thought. Now I'm freaking out.

Then as I was swimming along, following my friend Andrew, who seemed to be fearless, I saw one. I saw a jellyfish a few meters away from me, and I felt my heart race. I knew I was okay. I just had to avoid it and relax and keep going. So I did. Then I saw another one and another one and another. I thought to myself, okay, just keep your cool. Don't freak out. So I just concentrated on following my friend further out and just trying to enjoy the moment. After all, it's snorkeling.

It's supposed to be a fun, beautiful experience. After a few minutes, I felt much better. I felt at ease, tranquilo. I started really enjoying the underwater scenery, the feeling of flying in the water and being in an alien world. Then my friend Andrew pops his head out as we're getting a little further, and he says, Hey Dane, I think we're heading into infested waters now. And he smiles like a psychopath, fearless, and I was jealous. I had two options.

Turn back and swim back to shore, like, okay, that was cool, but enough excitement for today. Or follow him further out into the jellyfish waters and just face that moment head on. I knew I would be disappointed in myself if I turned back, and the current was basically non-existent. So I thought, fuck it. Let's do it and see what's up. So I followed him, staying close, and dodging esquivando, the jellyfish, just like he did.

It felt a little bit like the Matrix because we were like suspended in midair, dodging these little brainless yet intimidating creatures. Pretty soon, Andrew was further away and I was just on my own, swimming under rows filas of jellyfish, trying to get to a clear space. After another minute or so of not letting panic take over, I realized that I was in fact doing it. I was enjoying the moment, and although there was fear, I was just already doing it.

After a while, I swam back to shore, climbed up on some rocks, and just had a quick personal moment of reflection. I was so proud of myself. I know it might seem stupid to some of you who snorkel every summer and grab jellyfish with your bare hands and whatnot, but for me it was such a great feeling, a feeling I hadn't felt in a while. It's hard to describe, but I think I was just proud of myself, you know?

Anyway, the next day we went snorkeling again, and this time there weren't any jellyfish, so I got to enjoy the ocean for real. I swam, I dove, I explored, and I had fun like a kid again. Now I feel like chasing that feeling in different aspects of my life. One of the biggest things I took from this was that the anticipation of the thing is way, way worse than the thing itself. Again, because I wanted to really sink in.

The anticipation of the thing, whatever it is, is way worse than the thing itself. So I'm sure you've realized by now that this is just a really long way to tell you to use your English, even if you're shy or scared or feeling insecure. It's a bit of a cliche, but what I want to transmit is that your comfort zone will slowly kill you. That sounds dramatic. Let's change it a bit. Think of your comfort zone as your guide to Gia.

That thing that you don't want to do because it's intimidating is maybe the exact thing you have to do. Taking that job that you're scared might be over your head or too difficult. Talking to that girl or guy you have a crush on at the gym, I don't know, singing that song you love at the karaoke bar. Speaking English to those people at work who are native English speakers, whatever it is, just just do it. Worst comes to worst.

You look stupid, you're embarrassed for a bit, or you get stung by a jellyfish. You're not gonna die. In fact, you'll be much happier that you did it. And just that will help build confidence in yourself, self-esteem, and you'll soon be in a better place than you were before. Fuck your comfort zone, you know? You decide what it is that you want to do. That's it. I hope this helps, because most of my students over the years have dreaded speaking to other people in English.

And what good is knowing a skill or a language or whatever it is if you don't actually put it in practice? Think about it, come to terms with your insecurity, and just dive in. Okay, that's it for this episode of English with Dane. Thank you for listening. I hope it helped. Support English with Dane by following the show on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen. Give it a five-star rating, and if you can, leave a review if you really want to help out.

Share it with friends, family, or whoever you think would enjoy it. Remember Englishwithdain.com for transcripts and at Englishwith Dane on Instagram for quizzes and random stuff. All right, talk soon. Bye bye.