10 Ways to Disagree (Respectfully)

Like it sets the scene or backdrop for the conversation. So 10 ways to disagree. Reminder: the transcript for this episode of English with Dane is in the episode description. Así que métete, click on it, and read along while listening to the show to really take full advantage para aprovechar a Maximo to take full advantage of this time. Alright, let's get into it. You are listening to episode 14 of season two of English with Dane. Hit it. Disagreeing can be uncomfortable, we all know that.

But it's especially true if it's not your first language. Disagreeing means entering a quick competition of ideas in which your reasoning and maybe your competence can be challenged. And if you're doing this in a language you're not super fluent in, you don't have all your tools at hand to come across, aparent, to come across like you want to come across. So here's how to navigate this.

These are in no particular order, by the way, and I don't expect you to learn all of these, but I'm sure there will be one or two that will sound particularly good to you, and you'll think, hmm, that one sounds like me. And you can start using it.

Okay. Number one, I see where you're coming from with this, but I see where you're coming from with this, but this one is good because you're first acknowledging, you're acknowledging that you understand the reasoning and the place he or she is approaching it from. So it softens what you're about to say next. You could say something like, I see where you're coming from with this, but I'm not sure it's the best way to present the plan.

So basically, no to what you're saying, but it sounds nice, which is pretty much the theme of today's episode. You can also use I know where you're coming from on its own to kind of let someone know that you empathize with them or that you relate to the feeling they're expressing. Number two, I wanted to push back on that point. I wanted to push back on that point.

This one is cool because firstly, you're kind of priming or preparing the recipient of the message to let them know you're going to disagree with what they said, or at least try to poke holes in it to see if it holds up. To poke holes means to find weaknesses, debilidades, weaknesses or inconsistencies in an idea or argument or plan or whatever you're talking about. So I wanted to push back on that point. If you want to soften it a bit more, you can add a little bit to the end.

I wanted to push back on that point a little bit. That sounds great. Remember that we use the preposition on to push back on something. And as a noun, pushback. So emphasis on push, pushback, altogether. There was significant amount of pushback from the employees on the new conditions, for example. Number three, just to play devil's advocate.

To play devil's advocate means to intentionally take a position you don't necessarily believe in, just to challenge someone's idea or test how strong an argument is. I like this one because it puts you on the same team as the other person, as if you were disagreeing to make sure his or her side is actually strong and well thought out. If something is thought out or well thought out, it is carefully planned, considered, or designed, as opposed to just done impulsively or without attention.

So, just to play devil's advocate, what if we can't get the funding? Important to know that we don't use advocate for abogado, eh? Lawyer. I know you know, but just in case. The verb is to advocate, by the way. She's advocating for better mental health awareness in high schools. This next one is if you think you disagree but you want to know a bit more. Number four, I'm not sure I fully agree. Could you walk me through your thinking? Again, I'm not sure I fully agree.

Could you walk me through your thinking? This one has a few things I like. The first thing is that it's requesting more information before you make a final decision on whether or not you agree. So it's like you really want to make sure you get it, which shows interest. Then you're also preemptively letting people know that you are probably going to say something against their point or idea right after, so everyone is more prepared.

It's also great if you think someone is full of shit, que no les crees that they are full of shit. This exposes that because it asks them to be more thorough, and clear. I think, in general, I like these ones that offer some validation first, because I think it ultimately softens the blow in general, a blow como el golpe, and people are way less likely or less probable to feel negatively towards your disagreeing.

If you're a bit like me, you feel like disagreeing with people is sometimes a bit of an affront, so these sentences soften that, and that works great. An affront, by the way, spelled A-F-F-R-O-N-T, affront, is a deliberate, so on purpose, aposta, a deliberate insult or act of disrespect. So again, that's a valid argument. Here's how I've been approaching it. If you notice, y te fijas, if you notice, that sentence requires the stress to be on I've to make it sound perfect.

Here's how I've been approaching it. Number six is an alternative to this one because it has the same vibe. You might be right, but I think there's another angle to consider. You might be right, but I think there's another angle to consider. Just like number five, we have validation and then addition. It offers maybe different perspectives and presents it as maybe there's something more to consider here. It also kind of puts you on the same side again, trying to get to the bottom of it.

Number seven is a bit more blunt, unbox directo, a bit more blunt, but it's still polite. I think we may have different interpretations here. Again, I think we may have different interpretations here. This one is a clear demarcation that you have different ways of seeing things. This one doesn't offer validation, it goes straight into disagreeing. The words I think and may do soften it a bit because that sentence could also be, we have different interpretations here. Way more direct.

Obviously, it doesn't have to sound like what I'm saying, and it fully depends on the delivery, so the way you say it. But when you're not that fluent yet, let's not rely on intonation, let's rely on the words we say. Interpretations is a nice word to include because interpretations aren't that black or white. So you are still softening it a bit. I don't know what you interpreted, I know what I interpreted, it's nobody's fault, it's just we had a different read on the situation.

To have a read on something means to have a sense, an impression, or understanding of a situation or person or emotion or whatever. It's usually more instinct or intuition based. You can say something like, I can't get a read on him, he's very strange. Number eight, I think there might be some room for discussion on that point. I think there might be some room for discussion on that point. This one is nice. We have might to soften the statement, but it's still pretty direct.

It's also softened by room for discussion. You're not saying you're completely wrong, but it's like there are some elements of what you're saying that you are questioning and trying to steer it in a different way. So it invites dialogue and kind of has a let's look at this more closely together vibe. Once again, I think there might be some room for discussion on that point. Love it.

These last two are a bit more blunt, again, Bogomasirectas, for when you don't care as much about being polite, either because things are a bit more heated, or because there's more of a relationship between you and the person you're talking to, maybe. Number nine, I want to challenge that point. Or I want to challenge that last point. No validation, no understanding, no nothing. Just a straight up declaration that you're about to get challenged.

This one maybe requires a bit more confidence and assertiveness, a bit more confidence and assertiveness. I don't think I've ever used this one, but I know people that would use a sentence like this on a regular basis. If it's for you, go for it, but if it feels like a lot, don't. Challenge is a pretty straightforward word to use that doesn't leave any room for interpretation. Once again, I want to challenge that point.

Or if you want to include a bit more of a control thing, you can say, before moving on, I want to challenge that point. Now it's like you are deciding if you move on or not. Am I reading too much into these? No. Maybe. No, I don't think so. When I was studying Filologia Inglesa here in Madrid, I took a class called Pragmática, and we used to do stuff like this all day.

Find the implications of what you're saying, as well as the assumptions you make about the world when you say these things, and we would spend class after class breaking things down like this, and I used to really enjoy it. Anyway, let's move on to the last one, number 10. I said it would be blunt, so here we go. Number 10. Yeah, I'm gonna stop you right there. Yeah, I'm gonna stop you right there. Oof. This one is an authority move. Nothing nice about this one.

This one is a big time power play because it's interruptive. It requires you to interrupt the person you're speaking to and basically completely sabotage what they're talking about. It implies that the person is headed down a completely incorrect, misguided, or ridiculous direction. I don't recommend using this one much because it's a showstopper. This will make the person who is clearly not pay attention suddenly look pretty engaged because of the tone.

It's a bit confrontational, maybe made a few people laugh. So, yeah, not one for beginners, use it at your own risk. And also, you better talk some sense after saying something like that. You really have to take control after using that sentence. There's no way around it. So that's the list. Let's do a quick recap before finishing up. One, I see where you're coming from with this, but number two, I wanted to push back on that point. I wanted to push back on that point.

Three was just to play devil's advocate, blah blah blah blah blah blah. What if we don't get the funding, I think I said. Number four was, I'm not sure I fully agree. Could you walk me through your thinking? Number five, that's a valid argument. Here's how I've been approaching it. Number six, you might be right, but I think there's another angle to consider. Seven was, I think we may have different interpretations here, so it's getting a little bit more confrontational.

Not not there yet, but it's getting a little bit more blunt. Number eight, I think there might be some room for discussion on that point. That one works. Number nine, a little more blunt, I want to challenge that point, or I want to challenge that last point. And number ten, yeah, I'm gonna stop you right there. This one, I just wanted to add, has a little bit of a humiliating vibe to the person that you're speaking to.

So so be careful with this one because this one is almost performative for the other people that are there. And really, I I want to insist this is really like an authority move, like you know what you're talking about. This person doesn't know, hey, hey, hey, I'm I'm I'm gonna stop you right there. You need to listen to me. So again, use it at your own risk. You don't have to learn all of these. I know I said it, but I want to repeat it.

You don't have to learn all of these, but if you choose one or two to add to your arsenal, I think you're doing it right. It might sound silly, but try these around your house. Say them out loud, see which one feels right. Maybe say it to your partner, to your kid, to your cat, etc. Just say them out loud. Practice them and let me know when you use them. Literally, message me and tell me, hey Dane, today I said to my boss, yeah, I'm gonna stop you right there, and it felt great.

You know, just let me know how it goes. Alright, that's it for this episode of English with Dane. Thanks for listening. If you enjoyed this episode, send it to someone who you think would enjoy it also. Follow me on Instagram and TikTok for more content, and most importantly, use your English this week. You hear someone say something, hit them with, oh, where are you from? Que más da. It's about getting out there and getting over that hesitation. All right, that's it for me. Have a great week.

Later.