Something New and Familiar All at Once

Levity saves lives and I hope that whatever is going on with you since we last interfaced by which I mean had sex I hope that it's so peachy that you can barely stand it . I mean that from the bottom of my heart , I go all in . How you do anything is how you do everything .

So I do everything like I fickle , and that means I wreck shop , I destroy it . Love the blank canvas , get a line on the liminal . Your home is in the not knowing Flow like water . Adapt . That's the only school that matters . Balance the yin and the yang , harmonize and partner and collaborate with others . You'll feel better about yourself .

For one thing Express the ineffable . It's never been expressed before , otherwise it would be effable . Somebody's gotta do it . Swing for the fences . There it is the ineffable . Express it , do it Go . Act without attachment . We're not saving the world here , we're not curing cancer . We may not be even saving ourselves . So have a sense of humor about it .

Take the wins and the losses with grace , in the rhythm of nature , in harmony with others . There may not be a natural order to things , but you'll be better off if you act like there is , because rhythm feels good , organisms want to feel good and love other organisms . Cultivate wu-wei , the art of doing by not doing .

That'll save you a lot of time and effort . Return to the source , as above so below . Live your life as art , channel the life force itself , and that is , of course , sex , the force of creation . Cultivate patience and persistence as you do this . If you want to quit , quit early , quit often and then quit quitting .

Find something you love too much to let go , or you're just sick in the head and you can't stop yourself . But you can get over that if you fuse intuition and intention . Trust yourself to know what to do and learn from the experiences that result . Cultivate your imperfections . Showcase your worst qualities . Celebrate playfulness . Show us your brokenness .

We're all broken . We all need to get together . We don't need to fix anything . We just need to love one another . Radiate compassion through creativity . Create to connect . Express the unseen essence . See what can't be seen . Say what can't be said . Navigate paradoxes . Love the poetry of the paradox . Life is struggle .

It is perseverance or it's nothing , because that's the only way the pleasure matters . So get in the game . Create , feel superior . Feel it . You become it . Know that you already are it . Feel that in a visceral way . Prioritize yourself . If you prioritize anything , if you get over yourself and don't prioritize anything , things will start happening for you .

Get a handle on your feelings . Feel them . Yes , that's part of the deal , but it's part of a negotiation . The goal is to have them under control . Get off your phone . Throw your phone away , hit it with a hammer , get a new , nicer one , and then turn off the notifications , disappear for a while .

Always have something to do on weekends , even if it's undisclosed and it's just watching documentaries . Make sure you get a lot of options . Have some options you don't even want and then get some more that you do want . Get rid of the ones you don't want . Always be getting better options .

I am not here , so there is nothing to fear Because I am not here . I am not here . Nothing is my life , nothing is mine to say or share , nothing is mine Because I am not here . How does this differ to being here ? If I exist , if I am , I have energy to output and input . I have life to pour into , I have things to say and places to be .

I am here and everything is here too . And if I am here and everything is here too , and if I am here , I must feel safe . And if I am not safe , then being here is scary . But why does the world feel unsafe ? Why does it feel like it's too much to bear ? What am I afraid of ? Losing love or losing myself ?

If I lost myself , then there's nothing to do . I hold myself and say I'm here and I must fight . Is is it To be here and not be here , to be here and not be in the fight .

With meditation , you'll make your mind , your bitch , rain , hellfire on your feelings , exterminate your emotions with the force of a blast furnace and wash away the ashes when you summon the wrath of poseidon . With meditation , the emo eradicator , I'm gonna teach you how to meditate .

You and you've probably made up your mind whether this is something you want to take seriously or not . Everyone's told you to meditate . We have described whether it's going to be an everyday thing . You're sick of hearing about how great it is . There's a bit of a backlash . It's more than you've heard .

It is , to my mind , absolutely necessary to deal with the onslaught of ridiculousness and the avalanche of content that we have to deal with . It involves the breadth , which you can take everywhere as a whole representative talisman , if you will , of the basic polarity that it's inherent in all things , except when it isn't . It's absolutely non-negotiable .

I don't think you can live a good life and be a good citizen , or , dare I say , a good person , without this practice . Try this . I mean , you could turn anything else into a practice too , but it's easier if you start with this . Basically , you just breathe and notice what you notice .

Come back to the breath If you notice an emotion , a thought , occur in your vision with your eyes closed , because you're still seeing , even with your eyes closed . Just notice that and come back . Don't tell yourself a story about it . Don't get caught up . The goal is not to shut off your mind .

You couldn't do that right now if you wanted to , but you will notice after a while that you can't , and thus it's not you . If it was your thoughts , you would just stop thinking about it theoretically . And if you were talking to yourself , who are you talking to ?

You will not be swayed by your emotions anymore . You will no longer be a bitch by your emotions anymore . You're no longer being a little bitch and as you discover your power to do this , you will realize that you can work the same magic on anything . You can crush your own thoughts and crush your own feelings and jettison all of that .

Realize it's not you , it's impermanent . It causes suffering , but you can liberate yourself from suffering by taking the antidote , which starts with meditation as you go forward . You can liberate yourself from suffering by taking the antidote , which starts with meditation as you go forward . You can just start crushing it .

You can turn on and off your emotions like you have remote control . You can regulate yourself in a whole new way and you have that power over yourself that wants to stop you from having it over other people Once you figure out how to elicit emotional states , because you will continue to have feelings .

It's just that when you detach from them eventually , you can start governing them . It's not just that , you can also change colors and all kinds of other cool stuff . You'll see . I don't want to spoil it all , but I will tell you .

You get immense power over yourself and other people and when you can make other people feel good about doing what you want , which also helps you feel good . Everybody feels good and everybody gets what they want , which is what you want . So really , what's the problem ? I mean , most people can't take care of themselves . Have you talked to them .

When was the last time you interacted with someone who seemed to know what they were doing ? They don't . They're essentially begging you to come in and take over and dominate them . You're doing them a favor , You're helping . It works out for everyone , and if someone gets hurt , do they really ?

You've already discovered that you can decide how you're going to feel within hours , if not minutes . You can turn off your own reactions to pain . You can do the same thing for other people .

But if they refuse to do that , to learn how , which is just a very basic process of undoing yourself and deconstructing your perception , realizing that reality is a controlled hallucination and you don't exist , which is incredibly liberating If they don't want to do that , then is that really their problem ? Once you've seen this , you can't unsee it .

It creates something of an obligation to create your own reality , your own thoughts , feelings and experience . Why not use that to make some cash , I mean , and experience . Why not use that to make some cash ? I mean , you need money to live , and the more you have , the more fun you can have with it . You can take care of people who need it .

You could help out single moms or parolees looking for work who can't find it , or you could do what I will do , which is do elaborate pranks in the style of the magic Christian , and there's also lots of sex . Sex is God , Sex is the force of creation itself . It is the maximum intimacy . It is also violence , because it involves the transgression of boundaries .

That's how intimacy works . It's an exuberant celebration of human creativity . The first and last word in physical comedy , and it's a lot of fun and you can beat it up once you shut off your mind . Because what is it that hot walks you or clam jams you more than anything else ?

It's your own self , your internal monologue , your false , negative beliefs about yourself . It's your mind , it's you which doesn't exist . So how are you not having all the sex that you want ? In my case , I don't have time to take advantage of all the opportunities that come my way . I get laid a lot . I'm not getting any younger .

It does take it out of you physically . There's a difference between getting hurt emotionally , which you can easily fix , and breaking your leg , which takes some time to heal , or almost getting a heart attack because of the mind-blowing sex that you had a couple of nights ago with someone who's in a bad relationship and needs to feel good .

And I can make that happen . And if the guy's feelings get hurt , is it really my problem If he doesn't fix it and can't make his woman come ? you can look up on the internet how to make women come . I can understand what you're scared about . Female sexuality is a force of nature . There's a reason all authoritarians have to keep it down .

But if you're afraid , of that you're afraid of life , Because life is pleasure . Plants turn toward the sun and humans seek pleasure , often through sex . It feels good , it is good , I'm having too much , so maybe take some of it off my hands . I'll show you how I have sex with women , and you should too , if you see women come on .

In conclusion , you kind of have a responsibility . When you really have to exercise this sort of control over your experience is you can and will , because there's nothing there . It's all made up . This is it , and you can change it , edit it to your will .

You can be the auteur of your own experience of a power that you've never imagined before , now that you know that you cannot know it . So what's it going to be ? Breathe with me . We'll end with one guided meditation practice .

I'm a sadist . My great joy is to inflict pain on other people , and I'm not afraid to admit it . Did you know that sadists face discrimination every day simply because of who we are ? With so many people competing for the status of victimhood , we need sadists more than ever .

If you really dig deep , you might find we have a lot more in common than you'd hoped . Join us in the fight for fair treatment , equal opportunities and respect for the sadist community . Be kind to the cruel Visit AskASadistcom to learn more . I am a sadist with a heart of rugged gold .

I hurt people in the ways that most help them , and it means the world to me . When you let me be mean to you , I'm a sadist . I'm here to help .

Life's a lot simpler with a sadist on your side or looking down into those beautiful eyes that look so good , when you're doing the thing you were born to do Thriving in your personal life with help from me In the form of my advice . I am LA's most feared agony columnist . I answer questions .

Why would you do that to yourself ? You absolutely sick , twisted , delicious , slime creature that I want to nail to the center of the earth . I'm getting distracted . It's hot that you're doing this unpleasant , lonely , liminal , here-but-not-here thing to yourself , where you're in a relationship , but without the physicality in the meantime .

There are a lot of masochists out there and none of you will admit it . Well , some of you will . You're my favorite people in the world . I'm not talking to you , I'm talking to everyone else who works that out , if that's what you want to call it , through these acts of self-sabotage . If you have a celibacy kink , this is a wonderful place to be .

You can demand celibacy of your partner , which means that they're either going to be miserable or they're going to be cheating on you their loss . You're an absolutely excellent sadist and they will never find another one of your caliber .

If you give them that choice , they're not going to be celibate , and if they theoretically were , they would not be enjoying anything . If you're into that , if that's what gets you off , I respect it . I live in a significantly transparent glass house . I admit it , I am outwardly cruel and thus can be artful and , dare I say , heartful in my practice of cruelty .

That's the gift of self-awareness that I give to myself every morning upon awakening . Why am I in such a vanishing minority ? Raiden Estekor once said if you sleep on the floor , you don't have to worry about rolling out of bed , and yet people still sleep in beds . People still sleep . That means you're not having enough sex .

If you were having good sex , you wouldn't be able to sleep . You would be awake for three days and not even notice , because you would be high on the best drugs available . They're all right in the human brain and a lot of them come from good sex .

Everyone should have as much of that as feels good or feels bad in a way they enjoy , which I entirely condone , especially if it's self-aware or feel bad to someone else in a way that makes you feel good . You can do a lot of that stuff . Long distance . Ethical non-monogamy has a lot of rules . Come up with some rules that are gloriously disgusting .

It's a good opportunity to cultivate some of your higher aspects . The GOAT , the Marquis de Sade , wrote most of his best work in asylums and prisons . We would not have Malcolm X if he had not gone to prison . It can be a monastery , because anything can be anything . That is the versatility of our dungeon .

May it be more consciously self-imposed than the pain or pleasure that we inflict . If we inflict pleasure , pleasure that is truly cruel . Nothing makes someone's head explode by getting what they really want in life . That is some next level stuff that is not for amateurs . I would be very careful with that . I would try to wake up to what I was doing .

I don't have to worry about that . I'm wide awake , doing it right . I'm an artist of cruelty . Long-distance relationships can give you time to read a lot . If you're actually going with the celibacy thing and I hear a lot of people are just jacking it and more power to them , that's less potentially dangerous .

I'll answer this question how can I keep my long-distance relationship interesting ? There are many options short of swatting , although swatting and doxing are ways to ruin your long-distance partner's reputation in their own locality . I would ramp up to swatting , especially if you don't know how long you're going to be in different cities .

You can make them feel bad about their city , you can insult its sports team .

Or food , which is stuff that seems to genuinely upset some people who clearly deserve it , or remote-controlled toys you can either demand that your partner carry one of these in an orifice , or you can convince them to do something that they already wanted to do in a way that makes them think it was their idea and have no mercy on them .

This is , we must admit , despite these significant downsides , truly the golden age of surveillance tech . An excellent time to be a scientist .

If you've got a big , seemingly intractable bad habit , there is a way to stop it . It works for everything and it's the only thing that works for anything . Here we go , get real . The reason you screw up everything is that you're a loser . Your low self-esteem is accurate and you can't take care of yourself .

So make up an imaginary friend who can handle anything and become your imaginary friend's bitch . Up an imaginary friend who can handle anything and become your imaginary friend's bitch . Ruminate over everything you've ever done wrong and confess your sins to your imaginary friend and some random scumbag .

Now take a quick snack break when you're done , beg your imaginary friend to make you a better person . Tell everyone you're sorry . Pay for everyone's therapy on your credit card or by discreetly selling your anti-anxiety meds to your new friends , all of whom have their own imaginary friends . Take responsibility for everything from now on , as long as it's bad .

Use magic to help your imaginary friend become a real boy . Never shut up about any of this and freak the hell out if anyone makes fun of it . Mazel tov , you fixed yourself for now and all you had to do was feel like worthless garbage . Hey , baby , been working out my booty's looking fine , looking stacked , as always , better than usual .

I don't want to kick it with you . You know what I'm talking about . Kick that cocaine . It's the only thing cramping your style , baby . They've got too much going for you . They have stuff going up your nose like that . I know what's up with that . Yeah , I'm tired of it .

It was fun 18 months ago Back when we were kicking it , but I was kicking it with you and then kicking that cocaine . I know you're back on it too . You gotta do something about that . It's gonna be real hard to get off it , like some other things that are real hard . Higher level calculus , that's hard . Cement things of that nature .

The bottom of the pool , you dive in the shallow end and hit your head , that's real hard . Kicking cocaine is not that hard . The hard part is the first part , kind of like my hard part has always been the first part . Starting a new lifestyle , it's like that . You got style , you're gonna get in your life . Get in some other things , get in the program .

No , it's not talking about 12-stepping , not talking about half-stepping . Got another kind of program in mind , baby , based on buddhism as a meditation . They don't have chips . It's not about time . Time there's no meaning . When you're having hot , hot sex , time can go by slowly kairos they call it in literature . Everything just seems to stop .

Then , when it's over , you're thinking damn where those hours go . I don't want them back . There's no better way to spend them . Definitely not doing cocaine . Cocaine will screw up the empathy centers in your brain .

It'll make you desirous of lovemaking but then unable to make it good because you're not really in the present , because it screws up your ability to defer gratification or your willingness to you still can . It just feels like torture . Everything feels like torture . It feels real bad to get off of cocaine . It feels bad when you're on it .

It's like what kind of bad do you want to feel for a couple of days in the interest of feeling real , real good Later on ? It's not like your whole life has to change . People complain about the recovery programs where , like all of a sudden , like your whole life has to change .

People complain about the recovery programs where , like all of a sudden , your whole life revolves around a mat . Your whole life's gonna revolve around something . I'm gonna tell you what it is . It's not the 12 steps , it's the 12 inches . That's how thick the books are that you're gonna be reading . Damn , you got nice legs .

It's a shame you have to sell your car . But then again , damn , they say nobody walks in LA . That's right , nobody's fine like you are . Everybody's beautiful in their own way , not in your way . You got just the thing that's going to help you . It's going to help both of us learn and grow together . I'm growing right now .

I'm growing by leaps and bounds and I might tell you about it later . It's going to change your life . Hell yeah ,

every artist needs a muse . It's true . We make a great team . We just need some practice . You don't even have to be romantically involved . We just hold you somewhat at a distance . So you keep wanting things as long as we can't have them . So I make sure that that never happens .

So you'll be my sexy cousin that I want to sleep with Not totally gross You'd be like a second cousin , too gross to actually be . Plus , I'm going to have a lot of other options with all of the stuff that I make that's inspired by irresistible friction and polarity in our relationship . Because I'm going to keep you off balance .

I'm going to make sure you go through life confused , so that you're stormy and emotionally unstable , because that's going to be an endless source of inspiration for me . So buckle up . You've had other bad relationships , but not like this one . I'm an artist , baby . How transparent do you think you are and how much that you don't think that you're revealing ?

Do you think that you actually are ? If you knew what everyone else knows about you , that you're trying to hide , how much do you think that would be versus what you're actively trying to communicate ? Because you speak loudly of your own insecurities ?

Everything you do has three or four different meanings that you intend , because you're really good at lacing in with those , packing a lot of hidden messages in there , but there are a lot of other ones that get in there as well that you're not aware of .

Like I know so much about what keeps you up at night , what you hate about yourself , I'm starting to hate you too . You're disgusting and I know so much about you , more than you know , that I know I'm not going to tell you everything . I'm not going to give my leverage away . I know what you did last summer and the summer before that .

The summer before that was interesting . You were boring last summer and the summer before that the summer before that was interesting . You were boring last summer . Frankly , there's stuff about you you do not want to get out there and it gives you this haunted look . You have a deer in the headlights , which I find very sexy . You're so cute when you're confused .

I like your vulnerability . I like goosebumps . Goosebumps are sexy . It doesn't need to be played up . This review is just extremely obvious . I don't want to settle . You know what I'm saying . I believe in magic . I'm a romantic , in spite of everything . Many times I thought I was going to have to give up . I did not fall in love anymore .

Not keep dreaming , not be true to myself , not be true to my tender heart . I've been hurt . I thought my life was permanently diminished or damaged , but no , I love myself . I'm dating myself . I'm getting a little better at that every day . I'm by far the best lover I've ever had . I know how to light me up like a pinball machine .

I'm not going to tell you everything I know , because that gives you too much power . You have to figure it out yourself Over the course of our hot three to six months . I would give it , because I'd have to go back to myself , I'd enjoy everyone else in the lockdown and unless I need that special girl , it might not happen .

People are just getting worse all the time and disappointing , but I'm not gonna let go . If you let go of dreams , swipe to the barren field frozen in the snow . But you need to think I can let you down , smack you around .

I can do whatever I want and get away with it , because you know the squalor and chaos that you would fall into by so much as looked in the other direction . Do you know how many times you've almost died that I stopped it from happening ? If you betray me or you get on my bad side or you don't live up to my expectations , you'll find out .

Maybe not , you might have a quick death , perhaps even shameless , but who knows ? It's a wild card . You are a wild card . You're a wild child knows it's a wild card . You are a wild card , a wild child . I'm the apollonian disciplinarian master of this relationship . Don't forget it .

If you need to stop drinking and drugging , my recommendation is get through the first part , which is a thousand times harder than the rest of it . Once you get through the first part , it gets easier sooner than you think . Not soon enough , but soon enough . Try that and then build a life around not doing the thing when you have the opportunity .

Build a life that will not accommodate the addiction that's on the way out . It doesn't work for everyone . Some people succeed with AA , ayahuasca , and some people transfer one addiction to another . That's the fun way . If you haven't yet , try sex addiction , become a sex addict . See how it goes .

It might be a nice distraction from other addictions that aren't quite that sexy . A lot of drug addictions get in the way of sex , increase the desire , decrease the performance . If you haven't had good sex in a while , try sober sex . It really is better To find out what you like . Have sex buffet style . Try everything .

You'll be surprised what you could accomplish in one summer long slut phase . You'll develop a sixth sense could accomplish in one summer-long slut phase . You'll develop a sixth sense and stick-to-itiveness that make it easier to get sex than you ever imagined possible . Life will be a swirl of red flags which will pelt with that . You may find yourself disappointed .

Be prepared to accept that . You may feel empty inside . Somebody's going to feel full Full of sex that is . Try sex addiction today . For my money it's the least worst addiction . I don't need to pay for it .

I release that part of me world and feel it all . Why must or do I ? Who says I must ? There's a feeling I have to stay where I am , to not do anything at all , to feel that I must not do anything at all is the way I will go where the wind , stream and path takes me and rest a while .

When I am one with everything , I'm not really there at all , leaving no mark . I'm not really there at all , leaving no mark . It is to eat or to wish to leave a mark , you know .

Or to build a mountain , an empire for others , to thrive and enjoy also the feet of the divine , to create structure and class , to create art and leave a mark on each other's hearts .

What's it like to be a part of the world , to take part and feel the resonance within ourselves , within our souls , to know that there is a place for everyone , all choices and opinions , and know where we are is where we're supposed to be .

Prepare to be enthralled as the molten motion potion dances on your palate , unveiling layers of complexity reminiscent of the finest black tea , accompanied by a sophisticated , subtly sexy metallic aftertaste . But Sunrise Serenade is not just a drink . It's an experience Never shaken , stirred or chilled . Sunrise Serenade marks the dawn of a new , warmer way .

Embrace the unconventional , serve Sunrise Serenade warm , revel in its rapturous richness and feel the dancing decadence , because every serving of Sunrise Serenade contains flakes of real gold .

When you celebrate a personal breakthrough , savor a stolen moment of indulgence or honor the beginning of a long and delicious relationship , let Sunrise Serenade redefine your perception of indulgence . Sunrise Serenade is intended for responsible adults of legal age only . Please enjoy Sunrise Serenade responsibly and in moderation . Yes , it's my piss .

It's pretty damned obvious . I got nothing to hide . I don't tell you what to do . Sunrise Serenade , it's my piss . Deal with it . Polarity , sexual polarity , the union of opposites , masculine and feminine also out In yin yang , life and death , the in-breath and the out-breath Coming together of seemingly opposing energies for lack of a better word .

It's a controversial idea . Everybody's talking about it . Even if they're not talking about it , they're talking about something polarity-adjacent . In all likelihood , polarity is a lot like hilarity Not exactly the same thing but they have more in common than you might think .

But you will find when you die or when you have a near-death experience or when you get enlightened especially if you don't realize it , because if you do , you just get so pompous and insufferable that it's hard for you to understand or retain or effectively communicate anything of importance . That's true of most people . So don't feel too bad about it .

Don't feel too bad about feeling too good about yourself and your abilities . Polarity is controversial because it kind of brings with it in some quarters the notion that if you were born female , you have these innate qualities .

A lot of things that are associated with the feminine may not be everyone's cup of tea , or people might really love them and really hate the people that express them , because they have them in themselves and are afraid to express them , because everyone has everything in themselves .

That's the thing that you find out when you die or that you're actually finding out right now , but I kind of doubt you're ready for it . So just forget about that . Let's go back to Polaria . We are not blank sites . I think that's just patently ridiculous . You never say that about dogs . It's not true of humans either . We're basically dogs .

We don't have a lot of their good qualities most of the time . Some of us are very loyal and stupid . Some of my best friends are intensely loyal idiots . They're wonderful people . Femininity in particular was on the wrong side of Amici's philosophy . He talked a lot of smack about the ladies and the women that he was interested in obsessively .

The women that he pursued , despite their lack of availability or interest , were women who expressed a lot of qualities that would be considered traditionally masculine , certainly would have been in his time , which was before the nazis and before his sister bastardized and cannibalized his words to make it look like he's providing an intellectual tailwind for the nazis , and

that's a whole other thing that tarnishes nietzsche's reputation to this day . I don't think it's true that you can just be whatever you want to be , because I did everything I could to start for the LA Lakers and friend . I didn't get anywhere close . A lot of that was luck .

I think we would go absolutely insane if we knew how much of our lives were almost entirely dependent on luck , like what the role that luck plays in human events would send us caterwauling into nihilism if we fully understood it . I also think that we carry things in our genes that have profound significance throughout our lives . Every second , every breath .

We carry the repressed secrets , traumas of our families . We carry the repressed secrets , traumas of our families .

There are certain story structures that come up again and again in human narrative , to the point where it makes more sense to say that there's something innate , something carved in our DNA is guiding our hands there , than it would be to say that we just all have this perfect free will where we're fully free to do whatever the hell we want .

Coincidentally , happen to do a lot of the same things as the people around us , or the things that we think the people around us want to do , or want us to do , or stupid stuff that we don't want to do really , and we kind of know that and we're going to regret wasting so much time trying to impress a bunch of people we don't like or respect , because we

think if they like or respect us , that'll somehow solve our problem of intense loneliness and existential despair , which can really only be solved by dying , or kind of dying , but not physically like just killing .

The concept of you which , as we've mentioned many times on this show , can be effectively simulated for the longest 15 minutes of your life by smoking the venom of the Colorado River Toad UFO Alvarius by the Neo DMT , aka the Everest of Psychedelics . If you want to get over yourself , that's the way to do it . You will not exist .

And if you're anything like me on the fourth round , you will not come all the way back , and that's pretty cool . I was sick of that guy . A lot of my old problems still exist , but they're happening to somebody else , which makes them kind of hilarious .

There's another way you can do it , and that's by engaging with somebody that expresses a lot of the things that you repress , and vice versa . That's where a lot of sexual relationships come from .

They require a combination of comfort and friction where we are challenged enough to let go of the lies that we tell ourselves about ourselves , enough to relax , enough to get really excited and do everything . In Urban Dictionary , You'll notice that these opposites attract .

Kind of relationships tend to be a lot more exciting than the a la carte dating app ritual where we make a list of things that we think we want , which are usually close to the opposite of what we really want when we get them . That really makes us upset . Personally , most of us don't .

The apps are rigged against that , which is good , because when we pick partners by characteristics that we think would be advantageous to have around us , it's not gonna work . Eros is the sworn enemy of convenience . It destroys convenience on sight .

If you want to build a life based on convenience , you're gonna have to miss out on a lot of great sex , and vice versa .

By understanding how polarity works , or at least how it works for you , you can make peace with your shadow , own and accept , and then be , somewhat more able to control the characteristics in yourself that you don't want to express , that you find undesirable on some level , but that you can't wish away .

And if you try , they will clothesline you and bring down the whole operation , maybe not the moment when you least expect it , but you're not going to be ready . You will never be ready . There's no way to be ready to take on things that you don't admit exist .

Polarity is at its best where two become one , as the Spice Girls so aptly put it , where we dissolve into this universal soup . We have never really left and we're never really happy until we're swimming around in there again .

And if we're doing that with somebody that looks great naked , at least to us , that is annoying enough to be funny and really hot , at least to us , that we love so much that the degree to which they get on our nerves is totally worth it , and vice versa .

That brings us pretty close to one of the two or possibly three truths that exist Multiplicity of things is one thing and every one thing is a million things , and that's vastly understating it , because the only way to talk about infinity is to understate it . At least with our poorly developed minds way behind schedule . We need to hurry up and evolve .

Next time I kick it with Bufo Alvarez , I'll see if the Toad is willing to come on the show and talk about Mr Toad's Wild Ride and perhaps become a sponsor . Don't give anyone any free attention . They gotta work hard for it or beg for it . Be bold , take risks . A coward dies a million little deaths .

A hero dies unsung because he's not appreciated in his time but is years later . We will appreciate being appreciated , coming back as a butterfly , a blue one . Be busy , come up with something . Do something useful or barring that wildly destructive , because that's hot . Know how to be alone .

Sensory deprivation , float tanks are where you want to spend the vast majority of your time . If somebody picks a fight with you or tries to bait you into making a fool of yourself , ignore them or humiliate them . If you're good at roasting , actually just go away . You're wasting your time with this person .

Know primarily that you are smoking hot and anyone would be lucky to suck you off or eat you out . You're listening to emerson dameron's Medicated Minutes on K-Chung . Isn't that right ? Say it Better . Listen , Listen and learn . Straighten up , get on your knees . You were born to consume my content . Do it . Do what I just told you to do . It's humiliating .

Do you know your place , your purpose ? Do it Right now . Oh yeah , that's it , god , you're pathetic . Do whatever I tell you , don't you ? God damn , you love consuming my content . You're good for something . What did you just say ? I'm the one who's talking . Forget that .

You're not the host , you're the fluffer for the host and the most important character on Emerson Dameron's Medicated Minutes because this is a show about the most fascinating person in the world you . Emerson Dameron's Medicated Minutes is LA's number one avant-garde personal development program . I'm Emerson Dameron . I love you personally . Levity saves lives .

Until you make the unconscious conscious , it will rule your life and you will call it fate . If your life has been anything like mine , your luck has been nothing if not eclectic .

You may have had some good times , you may have grown and changed and taken agency over your life , and yet you may have some remaining stubborn , intractable problems that you have to deal with on the reg . There is such a thing as just bad luck . Nobody manifested the Holocaust . Shit happens . At the same time , there's also painful repetition and resistance .

There are the things that you know you want to do , or you think that you want to do , or think that you know you want to do and you just don't . There's something stopping you . You just can't get your muscles to move in that way .

And then there are the self-sabotaging , self-destructive things that you do over and over again , knowing exactly how it's going to end up . Now , it's not necessarily your fault that all of this stuff is happening . However , do not underestimate your genius for pursuit of pleasure . All living things turn toward pleasure , like flowers turn toward the sun .

One-celled organisms love to get off , and you might be trying to please yourself and trying to get your desires fulfilled in ways that your conscious mind is not sophisticated enough to understand , but that you are so brilliant that you manage to do it anyway . The fact that you don't give yourself credit for that level of genius causes continuing problems .

So if it turned out that everything was your fault and your responsibility and your achievements trophies on the wall , could you forgive yourself ? Could you get off on it ? Why do you do this to yourself ? This is sick , fuck , you're warped . And the most interesting . Could you get off on it ? Why do you do this to yourself ?

This is like fuck , you warped in the most interesting and delightful ways about it , just as a thought experiment , as a project , as a little game . What if your thoughts were causative and all of this was your creation ? As we do create our own experiences of reality , we can choose to experience a sensation as pleasure or pain , or both .

It's all interpretation and context . Nothing is in and of itself . It's psychedelic , it's fractal , everything is relative . There's no fixed , concrete meaning . Meaning is everywhere in bloom , and if you're going to suffer , suffer like you mean it . See what you can get out of your practice of suffering , because you're doing it on purpose . We love to suffer .

We love to tell ourselves stories about our own suffering and we love to feel aggrieved . We love to feel under siege . It makes us so important . Paranoia is exciting . So if you're going to suffer , allow yourself to enjoy it . Maybe pleasure is a hard one . Maybe you can handle more pain than pleasure .

Maybe you have a higher threshold of tolerance or pain than you do for pleasure . Maybe you're afraid that pleasure is going to drive you insane . Perhaps it's a probability greater than zero and it is possible along the way to get off on every stimulus that comes your way . Everything does not happen for a reason . Everything happens for two reasons Sex and power .

The sea continuously jerks off , said George Bataille , and that's true of all of us . I certainly have a will to power . I would like to have money so that I could turn it into a boat easier than manifesting it . And if I could just manifest a boat , my life would be kind of boring .

I like a little friction in there , a little excitement , some sparks , and if there's something that's giving you the bad touch , something too kinky for right now , right about now , feel it , let it go . Through . You Fuck it , feel it , heal it , let it go .

Turnoffs and turn-ons are factors of your own sense of approval Justification or factors of your own sense of approval justification . If you see your life as a wild , kinky game , a ridiculous , rip-roaring comedy full of madcap elements , a little bit of dark satire , you can find the turn-ons .

If you hilariously insist on taking it seriously , you're gonna find turn-offs everywhere you go . So it's just not a big deal . We're gonna die . This is small potatoes and this life is your great aesthetic , artistic project . Treat it as such , refuse to take it seriously .

This is too important to take seriously and a way to extinguish a desire , which is particularly relevant if it's a desire that's inconvenient or that you're ashamed of or that you don't really understand , is through fulfilling it . If you deny it and repress it , you're going to give it more and more power over your life .

It's going to show up all over the place . If you get it , get off , you can stop wanting it . A way to relieve yourself from the dizziness of life's rollercoaster ride is to get off . Try getting what you want . Take the easy way . There are always lots of ways . I recommend an easy and fun one A nice , leisurely , scenic path up that mountain .

If you can get what you want and not go fucking nuts , you can do anything , friend . You can MacGyver your way out of hell , and your fucked up desires are the best testing ground for that . They can be the most fun and you get them fulfilled . It's like nothing else . It's like that nice wet tongue deep in your asshole . It's your last fucking meal .

Nasty fucking hole In your nasty fucking home . Shame is the magic killer . Get good at being a bad person Awful , pervert , sicko , freak , weirdo . So many contradictory things at once Inconsistent , wild , feral , vengeful , petty , some ridiculous on so many levels . Do that well , you can go buck wild and get all kinds of things you didn't even know you wanted .

You might get things that you wanted your whole life and say , yeah , okay , that was interesting . You can have a conversation about that later , when it's over , and you might get something you weren't expecting to enjoy too much .

You might say , oh , I guess I'm into that now , but only if you get good at being a bad person and realize that you don't have to feel guilty about any pleasure . All pleasure is profound . All pleasure is rich , dripping with honey and interestingness . You don't have to feel guilty about pleasure . You have to feel guilty about feeling guilty .

Don't put more guilt on top of it . Guilt and shame are functional . They'll let you know when you screwed up and give you some ideas for improvement . Beyond that , let them go , unless you're really getting off of them , which I think you might be . So do that . Get off . Come . Shoot a big fucking load onto the ceiling . Get on with your life .

Find something else to get into . Once you get what you want , it's not that interesting anymore . Might be . The shame is coming from what you expect . Someone else might think it's just such a waste of time . Life is for fun . Who cares what anyone thinks you , your parents , anybody . The truth is sensational . It's pictures , sounds and feelings . Tragedy , comedy .

It's ridiculous , violent . Oh , life is amazing . You're barely even here for a fraction of it , and even through your bizarre prism of interpretation , it's picture , sounds , feelings , embodiment , intuition , splendor , the detail , fucking get off on it . Do exactly what I say . Breathe all the way in , slow down , relax .

Notice , between the in-breath and the out-breath , that little moment of sadness . Pay attention . Don't make me punish you . Take care of yourself . What have you had to eat today ? You can't get all of your nutrition from worshipping me . Exercise , drink water , eat good food , get enough sleep . You gotta be in control to lose control .

Do exactly what I say Take care of yourself . It's better to be high on yourself in ROM than low on yourself in RITE . If you're feeling left out or down in the dumps , learn to control and dominate the world with your mind . Get Emerson Dameron's Metabomb now available on Bandcamp . Next time you find yourself in a peyote ceremony , I have some advice .

Bring a large jug of water . The ceremony goes on all night and it's a long one . You need stamina . You're eating a large amount of peyote . You need to hydrate . Perhaps most importantly , having a jug of water is a great conversation starter . About 25 of us are getting ready for an all-night peyote party .

Taking our seats in the teepee , I grab one next to the flap by the door . The flap is the door . I'm committed to staying all night and experiencing the full ceremony , but if I need to beat a retreat , I want to do it with minimal drama . A woman sits next to me . She's knockout gorgeous . She has olive skin , dark , soulful eyes .

She's wearing a clingy , flowy white dress and a tiara . And now , with no psychedelic cactus in my system yet , I realize , lo and behold , that somehow she's talking to me . Do you mind if I share your water ? She asks no , not at all . I say Go for it . I congratulate myself on my cocky nonchalance . Thanks .

She says it's a good idea to bring that Smart too . I'm the total package and you know it . The bucket full of cactus buttons gets passed around . We eat them . We get to know each other a bit as things get rainy and bubbly and nice . Her sartorial style is akin to what I've seen derisively described as the Silver Lake Shaman aesthetic .

She lives in Venice Beach . She's in a hurry to move back to Berkeley . She's a singer . Her job is voice therapist or something like that . That will almost certainly save the world , at least when she does it . After an hour or so I'm completely in love with her .

Yes , had he sat next to me that night , I don't doubt I could have developed a similar affection for Mitch McConnell . I got extremely lucky this time . The singing begins , nobody knows the words to the songs , but we're able to improvise and get close enough . Like a lot of drugs , one of the side effects of peyote is music over appreciation .

I handle the rhythm and the structure . I hold a stimulus , a foundation for her to sing melodies , improvise and play . She wasn't kidding . Her voice is angelic . I like to think that I sound like Johnny Cash or will read when I sing , but I don't . I can barely carry a tune , but I can go deep . I try to fight rage so she can feel it .

She seems to be feeling something In this sort of ceremony . The act of worship is honoring the unspoken connections we create and sustain , the ways we hold each other up , keep each other alive and allow ourselves to flourish in each other's company .

It's a celebration of interdependence , safety , passion , authenticity and our often neglected ability to show up for each other in ways we didn't know were possible and he didn't dare hope . It's friend-shaking man saying how do you do ? And so on the road man , the officiant , has all the charisma .

You need to hold together a group of misfit toys singing and eating holy smithy cat die . His spiritual guidance consists of eat more peyote . If you got a problem , you can solve it by eating peyote . If you're not eating peyote right now , you probably should be . He says I wrote a book . It's called Don't Think , just Eat More Peyote .

It's 200 pages , all of them blink . My lover , my flame , my partner in an all-night whirlwind romance , out of time and mind , eats the peyote button that sends her over the puke threshold . In psychedelic circles , this is referred to as getting well . She vomits in heroic amounts , more than I think would be possible for a person of her diminutive size .

I hold her hair while she vomits . She drinks some of the water and comes back more sexy , vivacious , vivacious , hilarious and glorious than before . In the end she's weeping . She says I didn't want to do this . I wanted to run away . That's why I sat next to the door . But as soon as I started drinking water I knew I was going to be okay .

I had the best night of my life . Thank you everyone . The roadman looks at the two of us and says you've got a tremendous heart , topping it off by touching my chest , which is transcendental in context . I think I'm going to feel this good for the rest of my goddamn life .

There's more peyote there than we're gonna be able to finish , which may be the highest of high-quality champagne problems . As we wrap up , the roadman cautions us against taking stray peyote buttons to go . The peyote don't like that , he says , and that turns out to be true .

In a general sense , the magic of the peyote ceremony is a function of the worship , the ritual and the celebration of each other . It only works in this container , in this context . This world and the English language are not safe for it . The ceremony comes to an end . We stand outside the TV honoring the city directions , preparing to re-enter Earth's atmosphere .

As I say goodbye to my saucy , sexy , ethereal , weak-stomached siren it's ten degrees colder in Venice than the rest of the city I say it's gonna be a lot colder when you're gone . That could have used more workshopping . I had a long night .

By her response to it I can tell that if I say other things I want to say to her it's not gonna go the way I want it to go . The sun sits fan-sassy in the east . My magic powers from the night before have evaporated . I leave the container , I go home . I don't see her again Probably never will . I have one more piece of advice for you , though .

If you're in a peyote ceremony and you have a haircut scheduled for the next day , even if it's in the afternoon , just cancel it . That's gonna be way too intense .