Your Problematic Faves

Welcoming back to this episode of.

Amergantine, and all things feel different.

I feel you because it's like our first time of the new year, sitting down in this location and filming. A law has changed. I recently changed my voter registration to Republican, and I wanted to break the news here first. That's well, you said something feels different, and I'm wearing my red to celebrate.

Well, I start, I had my first period.

Oh my god, Drew. Okay, okay, the theme is read. The theme is red, red luddy.

What is it? Bloody Valentine? Bloody Wednesday?

My bloody Valentine.

No, there's like a fucking bloody Sunday or something. You're just making shit up, you know, like Mary Beth and the Bible killed a bunch of people and left Bible paper.

Well, is Mary Beth?

I don't fucking know.

Is Mary Beth the Virgin? Her last name being Beth is not cutting it. Mary the Virgin is way better. That's why they give me.

No, her last name is not Beth, Beth Laham, Beth Laham me wanting to be called Bartholomew. I think I've told that before, but I literally I'm gonna tell it again because I just had to reiterate how fucking weird I was as a kid. I sat on the bus on the drive home from school and breathed on the window because it was like a cold day out and it was like a cold, rainy day, and I wrote Bartholomew incursive and I was like, wow.

Did you read like the fucking lemony naked?

No, I just I just thought it was a cool name, and I was like, wow, like it literally fits me so well.

I remember.

No, I was gonna make a joke about like I can't even say it.

You know. What's funny is growing up like Agna was an odd name, because it's not like it's not like an odd name, like that's such a weird name, but like I can't go into a fucking souvenir shop and find my name on the board, Like that's like praying for like I don't even know what. That's just never

That they'll get a custom one made and then sell fifty thousand for mer.

I know they'll get a custom nftmate exactly, so they don't need to have their name on ship and chops anymore. They're gonna be in VR chats, going shops and it's gonna be.

Like, do you remember the fucking rock piles, like the the You would get the little velvet bag and you'd get to pick five little stones out and you put it in the velvet bag. Yeah, souvenir shops at like the Zoo or whatever, and it was like it was always like crazy stones but none of them were ever real. But like I remember like just digging my hands in there and the magnet part and it would just make such good fucking sounds and ship.

But yeah, actually I just remembered that in literal fucking pre k. I went on a trip to Disney with our like daycare, and I sorry, Kay is pissing. He's literally pissing the camera right now.

Keep going, we'll get into the Oh yeah, I know.

I was gonna bring it up in pre K. I went on a trip and I I was a fucking kid, like I didn't.

Understand the concept of stealing, Like.

Everything I saw the world was mine, Like I didn't understand property value, Like I didn't know that that was like a thing. But I was at Disney and I remember there was like, you know, the pins that they sell for lanyards. I remember, like, dude, I'm not kidding.

And I remember, for the first time in my life being so.

Fearful, Oh my, God of the law. And that was my introduction to capitalism.

I stole from the dollar store one time. I think I've told this before. I stole from the dollar store one time, like one of those like stretchy lizards and a bunch of stickers, and like, I knew it was wrong. I knew what I was doing. I was like five years old, Like I knew I shouldn't have been stealing.

I know, because I was going to say my mom did the fucking opposite. We would go to like Publis or Target, and me and Dante liked the like the gaming magazines and like the toy magazines, and we would literally she would get a case of water and we would put it under there, and my mom would put the case of water over it. And it was never

Just be like, oh my god, wow.

And she helped us steal. That's really cute, actually, and that's why I don't believe in turning people into the law, because you should always lie, yeah, and steal and do bad things exactly.

I actually fully agree. I actually fully agree with that.

But onto, like, a very important thing that we need to we need to.

Address address is the whole Kai fiasco.

Y'all will never see that man again.

Yeah. I don't know what the fuck got into y'all, but those comments were disgusting.

Yeah, y'all, I'm sorry, but have some self respect, Like y'all are throwing yourselves at a random man. Have some self respect. Oh I was gonna say it, but I'm so happy, of course.

Oh my fucking god. I literally it's like.

I mean, it's like, the thing is this is the Truth podcast. We can't stop the truth from coming.

Out of it, Yeah, exactly, renaming it the Truth. But no, like I'm sorry, y'all took the attention. Kay took the attention away from us, and y'all will never see him again.

All the comments, I bet you bitches couldn't even tell us.

What we talk I know legitimately. And also I want to make it clear, this is not Kay's fault. This is a year.

No, it's fully cause at all, Like, as a man, why the fuck are you getting on camera one two giggling and kiking and laughing on camera? Like why are you doing that? Do you gets the pass is an exception than you? But yeah, I just find it very odd as a man you decided to one take the forefront, which is very like psycho behavior. You're a psychopath and you're a sociopath and you're a narcissist.

Yeah, but no legitimately until I'm banning the word Kai from the commons on the YouTube channel.

Also, no, you know what, we're gonna ban Kai and all these fucking dimwitz spell his name like Ki, I haven't said the word dimwits in so long, I don't think I've ever said it, and it felt so mean, like that felt like like dim wit.

But yeah, y'all can't even spell his name. So how do you think you're gonna win him?

Yeah?

Period, And you're not gonna win him because who do you think Kai's more in love with me or in you believe it? Comment down below?

I saw a comment and someone was like, no, I get wait and he's a little meani like I'd be nervous around Kai too, and I was like, do you all think we live in elementary? Like I'm like five years old. I think you do I live in elementary. I'm so stupid. But yeah, I found that funny because I was like, no, you can be mean to men. You can just be mean to them on some like fun shit. It's just fun. And I rest my case and he's never gonna be on camera again. I'm actually gonna get his ig deleted too.

We're gonna report it, mass report it.

Okay, don't do that because if you do that, do that on some funny shit and like, it will be a problem.

If that happens, though, we'll just literally shout out his new EDGI and he'll gain all the followers because apparently Kai is literally the hottest man y'all have ever seen. That's another thing. It's offensive to me. It's offensive to me.

I was like, I get on here every single fucking week and.

I serve and serve cut. Look, I serve.

Cunt, I serve opinion, I serve bitter. I serve everything you fucking bitter girls and boys want and what.

And Kai gets on there and literally smirks and say ship.

Literally, I think all you did was talk about crypto and like a joke.

And the funniest thing. The funniest thing is like people Kaya said eighteen words total and they were like, Kay's literally the funniest person, literally the funniest person I've ever seen. So fuck you.

This.

I can't think of the lyrics, but you know the one, uh when Lanna says in your crypto boyfriend, fuck you, Kevin, Yeah, fuck.

You dude, Yeah, I know what you're talking about.

Your baby ye like Kevin, after you, I fun E love it, Crypto forever schemes, your stupid boyfriend.

Fuck you.

I love that both of us did the TikTok.

That was me though.

I'm literally like nothing will replaced being like having the the fucking what is it? The experience the it's like when experience is good, Like nothing beats having the there's a.

Word there, whatever time of your life, a girl, I don't know what the fun you mean the word there? Someone will know what I'm saying, having the time of your life.

No, nothing will beat the like the experience. It's like there's a word there.

For that he experience the experience of or what it's like, Oh, this is.

Like an honor, but there's like a different word.

I'm thinking of it. I can't think of it. Whatever.

Normally we're in sync, but like this is just so.

Kai staring us both down, and he's so scary right now. Also, to make it clear, we love Kay and like shut up.

Yeah literally like we.

Love emotionally abusive because the way y'all switched up from bullying this man.

To like literally want me to like breed with him. Breathe, No, it is actually scary. It's scary.

Yeah, you guys are scary.

That's that you are dangerous. Turn on us, I know.

Well, anyways, flood the comments. I looked extra pretty today, so y'all could compliment.

I know that. It was actually so funny. There were like three or four comments saying like, oh, Drew looks so good in this, or like and you look so good in this, Like y'all are pain They had like thirty likes tote Yeah.

They're they're like, now, I'm offended by a compliment because you're just saying it because you feel bad for me.

I know, I know. It's like, don't even say anything at all, Like if you're gonna be don't pity me. I don't need pity. And then the top fucking comment was making fun of me for getting COVID twice. Uh fuck you, fuck you.

Anyways.

Uh nothing beat being around when Lana released Ultra Violence and had the song Florida Kilo's in there, and I got to be a Miami.

Girl and I was like, you rapping about cocaine as like an eleven year old.

My user name used to be an Yayo because of Lana ya Yo yao.

But yeah, just.

Stop talking about kay.

This is disgusting. Can you try it?

Yeah?

I decided to brew my own yurbamante this morning, and actually now I realized why you fucking pointed it out, because you it looks like I just it's missing something. I don't know what the fuck's missing. I think it's missing like blueberry flavor.

I don't like because you're thinking about carbonated soda, your mamater, I need co two. Also, it just tastes like like you put a lot of honey that was not a lot, though, it tastes like honeywater.

And I realized I'm was just a person that can't do caffeine. But maybe maybe I'm just not reaching that threshold, like maybe I'm taking Like.

Yeah, maybe you should do a lot more like that's like everybody's ever done a drug in their life.

Like, I just am not making it past like that you're seeing ghosts. Sorry, my a, have you seen this?

Yeah?

But no, literally, I just don't think my body's cut out for caffeine anymore. I haven't even told them that I had a heart monitor installed for a fucking week of my life.

You had a heart monitor installed, and then you got COVID.

I had a heart monitor installed. I had to do the most insane like tests ever. So I was in the wait, okay, let me just prep like, let me just rewind for a second. See, this is what caffeine does mean. I just I cannot complete a fucking thought.

You like didn't even give yourself a sentence to start the ball.

What are you talking about?

That's what I'm saying. Okay, so it's no secret I've been having heart issues, but I genuinely think I'm actually fine, Like for once in my life, I'm not like hypochondriac about it. I think it's literally just whatever. It's just like natural things everybody experiences. But I just wanted to get it looked at because I don't want to play with that. I don't want to play with my heart, like you don't want to play with my heart? Came you know what it is. I just had my heart broken.

Oh my god.

Yeah, kinds.

About what happened in Miami. This you better be careful because people always talk about when I said my credit.

Score, and they guessed it completely right.

So I watched the clip. My ass literally went like with my hands, I like did numbers with my hands back here as if.

This is it fully see through. But my credit score is fixed now.

Also, it's back to normal. The government found me. I was evading my taxes, and they fucking found me, and they like hit me with so many fucking bills, but I paid them all, so I don't even try to get me bitch. But I've paid all my fucking, stupid little taxes. I gave my stupid little fucking money to the government. I've been having heart issues, so I've been going to the doctor. This started at the beginning of

Just saying the fucking testing they had you do was like insane? Yeah whatever, but it sounds like they just made you do like human activities, and you're someone who doesn't do human activities, so you're like literally baffled. You're like, I cannot believe they made me fucking run. They were trying to make me walk, they were trying to make me run. I thought you were gonna say they made you fucking do suicide like laps or something.

They took my heart rate or they took my blood, they took your heart. Yeah, okay, I'm over this. I'm fine. I have my appointment on the twenty second, Like can we move on like that on my birthday? Maybe it's on the twenty first. Oh me, as if I do that, girl, are you gonna be here on your birthday?

Literally?

Probably won't.

Yeah, Wow, I forgot, I forgot, I forgot.

Wow.

The bad guy, the bad bruh.

Right, bro bah bah blah blah blah bruh, b b bruh. I'm the bad Bruh.

I heard you when you did it.

Bruh, bruh, I'm the bad fly.

Did you make that up? Did you make that up? Oh? My god?

True?

True?

Fuck?

Are you okay?

So yeah, I'm good. I was just taking it.

Are you throw up?

I'm good?

Okay. Anyways, speaking of doctors, I need to see a guy to college is so fucking bad. Like I'm like, I like keep thinking about it in every single year of my life.

You maybe this is like eighty HD medicine. Like maybe that's what this is doing to me. It's making me normal. I took my YaST pills and my normal pill. You cannot force me to take normal pills. Is that where I'm literally oding right now and like actually tweaking.

That's actually really bad for you?

Wait? Is it really? It's?

Like, yes, you have to pick one. You have this if you want a yoas you can't be normal?

Fuck? Wait, what do I do you.

Have to you have to throw it up your stomach acid probably already like dissolved it, so now you're about to.

I don't know, I'm gonna die. I'm ready to die. We should act out a scene where like it's like me, where I actually am, like I have like a bullet in my stuff and it's like me like actually like thinking I'm gonna die and see how good I do.

But not now, okay, like where are we doing this scene?

I'm just saying like at a later day, we can do it.

Okay, Yeah, I'll put that on my calendar.

Imagine just like a regular person who hasn't watched twenty seven episodes of this like rotting their fucking brain, and they watched this one for the first fucking time.

I think we're very normal. I do need to go to a guy in collegist so that's very normal.

That is normal pilled.

I like literally every single like week, like.

We're normy pilled. But every single year I have the thought about how people are gonna get so mad at me. But I haven't had a what's it called a pap sumear yet and that is so fucking bad and not okay?

Is that when they squish your boob? No, that's mammogram.

I didn't know the words, and I was trying to think of something funny so bad, and then when I thought it was not funny and I can't say that, but no, that's when they fucking split the fucking season. They go in and swap the sides and take a taste and see if you got the wrong with you. They put a metal clamp in your fucking hole and they literally spread it, and they take a cotton swap and they do a COVID test in your.

Koochie that literally has to hurt, right.

I don't think it feels good.

Well, vagina a pleasure like that.

The one time in my life, I was like, I'm going in to get a pap smear and they fucking I went in when I thought I had a yeast infection because I was like, my shit is like not feeling awesome. And that's when I found out I had bacterial vaginosis and a yeast infection. So they were like, we can't do a passmere because you're literally infected, Like.

You're gonna infect everybody in this building.

Me do so.

But then they sent me that fucking crazy bill, and so I guess.

My pussy's just gonna rot and fall off, gonna crumple up like a little raisin and fall off like you know, you know when you go and get a skin tag removed and they freeze it and falls off. That's literally what's gonna.

I don't know.

I was just around you guys. I'm just gonna be.

Look her pussy fell out.

She's just gonna plain at the floor. It's gonna be loud because I have a fat pussy, So she's gonna be.

Like her vagina fell out. So yeah, hold on, I have to look that up. Do you know what I'm referencing?

What did you say?

Her pussy fell out? No, that word is so naughty.

Pussy Yeah, pussy power.

Stop. Okay, I literally need.

Pussy power sticker on my hydro flash stop.

Oh my fucking god. I looked up her pussy fell out and literally all I came up with vagina's on Google. Like I thought I was gonna find the obscure assd meme from twenty fourteen.

No, I don't know what that is. Yeah, I'm gonna put a pussy power a feminist.

Vote Hillary Hillary twenty twenty four, Hillary twenty twenty four.

All those stickers on my highjro.

Flo, I'm with Hilary.

I'm gonna put a lot of ice on it so it shakes and people have to look over and see what's happening.

Joe Biden will die.

We really said that. The other day. I was like, he's dying this year, Like I'm calling it. We're gonna are we gonna get in trouble? No, everyone thinks he's gonna die.

Something big is happening.

No, the something big that was gonna happen was us getting COVID and we already got it.

No, it's giving her no vid lighting. Should we talk about the Patreon?

What about the Patreon? Oh? One of the things I wrote in my note because I was I've been thinking about my kuchie a lot is vaginal infections are normal and it's okay because it's like you're pussy getting a light cold, Like it's not like a disease that's like really gonna kill it.

But like if I have a yeast infection, it's like if I had a.

Sore throat, Like it's just building up immunity.

Medicine in that hole and it's good.

Wait, do you have to put medicine up there? There is medicine suppository and there, Yeah, there.

Are suppositories or you're koochie, but I've never done that. I've only taken a pill for it. But who knows if I have. Guys, let's hope I have a yeast infection again, and if I do.

You're gonna try out to depositories and.

Pop a pill in there. I'll before I.

Get on the Yeah, Papa, perky, Okay. So in the Patreon discord, there is a person who goes by the at rat Germ, and rat Germ for the last like month, has literally been giving away thousands and thousands of dollars.

Oh guys, you guys should definitely sign up for the page. You win a lot of money. It is an investment. You will get your money back.

I legitimately, like I was. I felt bad because I was like, no, like I should probably put an end to this, like this is too much money because literally rat Germ started at one hundred thousand dollars and is now at twenty two grand. So he's given away or they've given away what is that is that seventy eight thousand or twenty two thousand? They started with one hundred, yes, and they've given away seventy eight thousand dollars.

Oh, like they only have like twelve k left?

No, twenty two k? Yeah, wait, what's the math? Is it eighty eight or seventy eight?

Seventy's twenty two?

Okay? Yeah, given away apparently rumored in the discord seventy eight thousand dollars to discord Patreon members, which is belligerent, fucking insane. So I messaged that German. I was like, hey, like, don't do that, Like you should keep some of the money for yourself. And they were like, hmm, yeah, maybe you're right, I probably should do that. And I was like, yeah, do that, but.

Yeah, literally, what it sounds like when you try to give me financial advice and I just don't. Like, I'm like, I should do that, and I turn around and get open depop right away.

Yeah. But I asked rat Jermy if I could talk about this, and they were chill with this. So here we are. So go subscribe to the discord, Patreon goes subscribe to the Patreon and maybe rat journal will give you a thousand dollars And there's screenshots of like people literally receiving thousands dollars.

I didn't get any of the money. I was like, I'm like, Okay, don't be fucking stingchy. You have twenty two left.

Give me twelve, give me twelve. No, but I just had to talk about that because that is fucking insane. People are actually making money off of the Patreon I knocked out my tooth.

Also, I this is like, this note means nothing.

I want to relate to people, but I hate people I don't know trying to relate to me, even though it's my job. And I only say that because of yesterday when I posted that TikTok that I deleted. Oh yeah, Also, yes, I'm wearing this sweater for like the thirty in a row who cares No, but like this exact shirt and sweater, like this shirt has like layers of deodor on it, Like I'm pulling a kai right now, Like I'm just

I love those tiktoks that are like when the friend who has a dead mom starts laughing a little too hard in the rows section.

Okay, I'm playing five Nights at Friday. Tonight we are playing.

Yeah, we should stream it. We should look you stream five nights at Freddy.

That would be fucking fun, though, I.

We should hit up Western and Kaylin and just have them give us like a huge tutorial on how to stream.

Or we could figure it out ourselves, because it's not their job to do.

Just why have people around you if you can't use them?

Like?

I do agree, I do agree, Like what's the point.

Oh, But yesterday I posted a sop stok where I was like, oh, entering the part of my adulthood where life I all I care about is like furniture, having a home, building a home, and like thinking about my parents a lot. And there were kids, kids, kids who were fifteen saying there weren't even fourteen year olds saying I'm only fourteen and this is already me. And I

Exactly, just like hi, exactly, and like what's your point?

You're being and you're being a whore right now?

Crazy, thank you? And and is jealous. That's what it is.

This bitch is jealous. No, actually, it's because I have self respect and I sit here in my fucking sweater all covered up, and you're being a fucking slut. It's wintertime. This man has shorts on.

I just don't get cold, like I don't get cold, yeah, because you're a hoe and a hoe never gets cold. No, And he is jealous because my ass is fucking stinky and fat, like and like it fucking shoots big fucking turns out of the colon.

You wish you fucking shopping turns out.

Bit, I'm so constipated right.

Now, Oh my god, Oh I already said, like wait, I think I said that laxatives started my symptoms in the last episode. I still can't believe that I'm never.

We have a bottle up there and I'm gonna chug it. I'm addicted to it.

Oh my god, this man can't believe that.

Like, y'all are gonna get kai fired.

And you have to feel it all the way up. I'm not in my life. It's so bad.

You never drank water once while recording the outside, and all of a sudden that you're not on camera, he got a taste of the limelight. I know this is our fault.

I know it is. It's you. You. You try to be a good friend and you put a friend on and just like that, they show that they don't deserve that fucking chance. I'm just water.

So now water is a necessity.

No literally what I'm saying now.

You need water to survive, Okay, okay, And yeah.

That's it, dude.

Also, fucking the other thing that a kid said, like a kid has said to us in the past twenty four hours, and.

I'm like, can you shut up?

Because you think you sound smart right now, but you're showing that you're a child. Is people yesterday were asking me in drink yesterday where.

I meaning like, oh my god, you're just now seeing Coco.

Yea, yeah, bitch, I'm a fucking adult that wasn't on my top jetta, Like, oh my god, you're just now seeing this as if you were talking about a Wes Anderson movie, Like what the fuck? Like, you're just what the like? Literally, you're fifteen and you're asking a twenty three and twenty four year old if we're just now fifteen, bitch and we're just now seeing a Disney movie that came out in twenty seventeen, which means you were like eleven or twelve when it came out. No, actually they

I saw it in twenty eighteen.

You're a fucking child.

It's a lame, bitch.

But no, what I'm saying is like, why is a kid literally being like you're just.

Now seeing this girl you saw in theaters because you were ten and your parents took you.

Yeah, you don't even remember the fucking movie. Maybe you need to rewatch it for the first fucking time, And like, could you're sentient now that movie is actually what were you gonna say?

Me?

Just being mean as fuck to like a huge demographic of our like podcast, but obviously I like fuck with y'all, but like, don't talk to me like you're not a kid.

Let me hear, but I'm sorry you're fifteen. Wait, what is the Winnie Williams.

Yeah, shout out to people with anxiety.

Yeah, shout out to the fifteen year olds, like, yeah, I feel bad for you. I feel bad for you.

No.

Literally, I think what also annoys me is like, can you enjoy your youth?

Because every other day all I can think about now is that's actually at a point where being like a freshman in high school was a fucking decade ago.

Damn. There's a word for it, but literally.

And I'm jealous. I want to be fifteen, am.

There's a word that I think. It's like getting older younger is like what it is, And it's literally just like brands, uh pushing products that like I don't know how to really explain it, so I'm not gonna try, but it's literally just boiled down to.

Capitalism have infected like a younger generation, like way quicker because of like how accessible buying shit has become. So when we were fifteen, we wanted things, but we didn't have the access to them, So we didn't like feel like these adults making these adult decisions because we were still at a point where if we wanted something, our parents really had to go out and get it for us, and the likelihood of them getting the things we wanted

Yeah. And also it's just like they're being influenced by older people like ourselves, so like they're consuming things that we consume. And yeah, it's just like trickle down. It's just like kids. That's why, Like when you look at a thirteen year old now, they don't look like what we look like when we were thirteen. They're like like like grown people.

And with that being said, shut the fuck up. I never said anything to me aam lilid. Actually I need attention, so like if you did, like shut up, I would actually disappear and die.

Oh but coke maybe, Yeah, Coco the most fucked up movie ever made. I mean it is so good, Like, don't get me wrong, Like I think that's one of Disney's best movies They've ever know easily, but they did things in that movie that they did not have to do, and they just wanted to make you fucking cry and like, sob your fucking eyes out, like that was their goal. At the end. They were like, I want people to cry harder at this movie than anything they've ever seen

Literally, because also it was my first time watching it, and I literally Coco spoiler alert, but apparently everyone in the world has seen like whatever, when fucking they found out whatever? De la Cruz wasn't his grandpa and Hector Hector was his dad, and like they had their like song and they talked about singing to Coco.

I thought that was the peak of sadness and I cried at that.

So I was like, and I was sitting over there like, oh, I know it's coming, like you're dying.

Oh, this is the movie, y'all, Like boohoo, cry over like okay, bitch. When they put up that fuck they did not need to put up this. Literally, it's like it's comedic them doing that because you're just like, ah, like a year has passed. What what could have changed?

She conked, she fucking died, she keeled over.

Yeah, she fucking she had her last dance.

It's done, and that member me.

Also, wait, fuck the licensing on that The licensing on that movie is so fucking insane.

Like I'm if you didn't watch my story, you don't understand what happened. But like, literally, if you go to my story, it's just ad doesn't.

I said to a guy because I screened recording.

But basically it's completely banned. Like that version of the song of the Little Boys singing it is.

Coco singing it together. You cannot post it on social media. Band you can't even send that song like a snippet of it via Dia. Like Drew took a picture of me like crying and wanted to post it, and that song wasn't on the ig like music roster. So I was like, oh, I have a hack to do it, So like I added the song to the photo for him and sent it to him and he posted it.

It was a literal millisecond, and all other respons was like, how the fuck did you do this? How did you make it so fast? And I'm not telling you actually y'all just got the sauce.

I know, we just said it, but yeah, that was so fucking funny, and Drew was literally freaking the fuck out.

It like actually was stressing you. I was so mad. I was so mad.

But yeah, it was a good movie. And then we literally watched that thing about we're kind of talking about our media like or in depth for the first time. But then we watched that thing about the cave.

It's not funny, like the the soccer kids in Thailand that got stuck in the cave.

Yeah, like I'm laughing because I said this to Drew, but they kept talking about like, oh, like it's so inspiring, like their morale and like how much like positivity they had in their hearts and how like positive they were that they would make it. And they just like had this like really sweet and almost like naive belief and trust in other people that like they would make sure they were gonna stay alive. Bitch. I would kill the fucking.

Vibe after eight hours, and it would be like we're dead. We're done. We're done, bitch.

After the first hour, I would touch that water and see how col it was, and I'm like, no, we're done.

They're not coming coming.

They don't even know we're fucking here, Like I don't have to find my iPhone on I don't have my iPhone on me.

They died in the water, I would be I.

Would die of boredom, was literally dieing.

For I would oh, yeah, dude, so scary. Seventeen fucking days stuck in there.

No, I don't want to be anywhere for seventeen days, like I don't want.

I like, no, imagine literally being alone without iPhone for seventeen days.

Bitch, y'all would drown me.

Y'all would fucking have to kill my ass, begain.

And I would eat you. I'm sorry. You would be the one that we ate.

If you think I complain a lot right now, bitch, chart me in a cave.

I feel like another side of you would shine. I feel like you would be the positive one and I would be like, because I'm normally blindly optimistic, but like, I feel like the roles would reverse, Like I feel like my facade would crumble and I'd be like, we we're dead, We're I'd be like, yeah, we're done. No, I feel like you would be like, I think we're gonna be fine because because we pick each other slack up because.

You know what it is too.

I just have the intuition and the gut feeling of like like literally I think I might be psychic and psycho and a narcissist.

Bitch your delusion.

This is thing you're self diagnosing.

Yes, everybody, lets self diagnose in the comments. Let's self diagnose in the comments.

I'm literally living in Wazerland right.

Now, the Wonderland system.

But the fucking yeah if like because technically if we were there, like and we were gonna be saved, I would just know so like I'd be like, Okay, we're chilling, Like I feel that little annoyed.

But like this isn't minor inconvenience, but like its character growth, we'll get out.

Actually no, like I literally can't. Oh if I couldn't wash my face before I went to sleep.

I wait that one or that one question where it's like you just your wife's been missing for twenty four hours. You just were searching for her for fourteen hours all day long. Do you come home and wash your face before you go to bed?

Yeah? No, because when I need to make my my like when they find her dead body and I have to like go on the news and like make my really sad, like I gotta look good.

Oh my god, I.

Can't be like breaking out and like really nasty looking, like I have to look good, you know. I'll come in home, wash my face, and I'm putting on ASoP.

Damn. Okay, I'm expoliating.

I'm doing the face mask. I'm taking a bath.

Okay, my feet hurt, my legs hurt.

Like I've been like trotting around looking for her, picking off the cut because I don't know why she was like an air tag on her.

Actually okay, now I would literally like why, yeah, like why are people still disappearing? We have air tags.

These like warn't y'all say war people disappearance and people are getting like murdered, Like that's why they're disappearing is because some fucking psychopath is being a psychopath.

But like, no one, and you got me new shorts for Christmas.

Yeah, and you're being a slut because those are summer shorts in its winter and you should be covering your body.

Well, you're being a prude.

I literally used to always call myself a prude in high school because I like was and I was so embarrassed by it. But I was like one of those really annoying girls who was like, yeah, I haven't done anything.

Is the is this the l Does it look right for you? Or it's this though, that's a that's interesting that it's on the right hand.

Not really, Oh no, it makes it makes sense because I've always used my right hand because I'm already it's weird if you're a fucking lefty freak of nature, and you shouldn't.

Be eradicate the left hand like why.

Like, oh, like yeah, because this is because I can read this bitch.

I'm like, why would I use my left hand? I'm calling myself.

I eradicate the left handies.

Like you're weird, You're scary. What are you doing?

Derogatory left handies? You know they are ruining society? You know, mom, I'm sorry.

See I literally told y'all. I told y'all, I'm not using this year to prove I'm a good person.

You just have to know I'm a good person. And then I'm joking. There was a comment that said that, and that was very relieving because on the podcast, I do say shit that like I know it's a joke and we all know it's a joke, but there are moments where I'm like, if someone fucking takes us out of context and decides to be a fucking cunt, I guess I'll have to shoot them.

We just kill everybody who's done something wrong.

We literally disappear on camera.

We get eradicated everyone. What was that one person that was like, so you're like pro suicide?

Oh?

Yeah.

I was talking to this girl that was like, She's like, oh, I'm glad that suicide rates amongst white men is going up. And I was like, wait, are you serious and she was like yeah, like honestly, because then there's gonna be less racist people. And I was like, so you're you're pro suicide, like you're pro people.

I'm with her.

Yeah, yeah, I'm pro I'm pro choice. That is a curious those same men would be like, no, bitch, you can't have a fucking abortion.

Obviously, not those same men, Like I don't know.

Those wait, not me saying like not me, like in my head like rationalizing my drop, I was like, wait, that's like this is an evil fucking episode. This last five minutes is all getting cut. Two sides of the same bird, Republican and Democratic liar.

I know I'm a cunt. I know I got a tight koochie at the end of the day, and that's all that matters.

I could be a bitch and have good pussy.

No, I'm talking about that.

True. Well, I guess we could talk about this photo that I took.

No pitch. We can talk about the fucking rock, the little No.

No, do you?

I don't know if y'all remember when these fucking eightiots, these goddamn hooligan, foolish nerds, showed me a picture of a rock on the moon and made trying to make me feel like the freak for not believing it was some extra terrestrial cube.

Bitch, was a Rubik's cube. It was a fucking rock.

They're lying. They're lying to us, Democrats. The democrats are lying to us.

They're saying it, baby, baby, you don't remember what I said?

No, because I'm not up there to see that it's not a rock. So how do I know it's not a rock?

Then fucking go bye, take your fucking away suitcase and get the fuck out.

No, because what if it wasn't a rock. What if it wasn't a rock and it was like an actual extraterrestrial object, but society's not ready think about this. They hired twelve theologists from around the globe randomly to like calculate how the world would reaction to an extraterrestrial threat or like discovery of extraterrestrial Why are they doing that? Why are they hiring theologists across the globe? Yeah?

Why are they doing They also did release the movie Don't Look Up, so that is like, at the same time, it's like, oh my god, the government lies to us like that. Like that. That movie was very eye opening and good.

To think about it.

That movie was fucking god awful.

That's the conversation a lot of y'all don't want to have. But that movie fucking suck, one of the worst, And they're gonna be like, oh, no, it sucked because it's targeting you bitch. No, I've been having these thoughts since I was twelve years old. Shut the fuck up.

It was just a bad movie. But what were you saying? Kai says, it's the Kai episode. It's okay, it's the lamestream media.

Just period might be and you're just yea period lame stream, lame stream two sides at the same point.

CNN Fox News.

I'm not about to say I have to be cut, but y'all literally sound like the people who think Q ain't on. It is real.

I'm a Q A and honor. I'm through and through, tried and true. Come on q Q listen a q an on through and through, tried and true. Come on Q. That's our saying. That's what we said, work you.

Bet I work CUE or comments like flooding with Q you better work the house. They become a part of the like they're like, you know what, you're gonna sucking talk to me. I'm gonna talk to you.

Yeah. Wait, what if I told you all that I was CUE the whole time?

I'd be like, okay, sir, I have no idea, what the fun up? The parker says like, I don't. I don't know any of that ship. That's just.

Like q an on is the same conversation as.

Like y'all talking about aliens, where I just like Q A on crypto aliens.

That's how I say Q.

What do you say?

It's a on unanimous? Q is ananimous anon? When you're like when someone d M you on Tumblr, Anon, it's not in it anus, you say, I amnonymous right.

It's funny that you're speaking to someone who's bilingual and cutizing like my accents and the way I choose to pronunciate my words.

Your turn, I actually speak the language from the guitar movies.

So Pop, you're gonna let him talk to you like that?

I just said, I'm going to slap the literal fuck.

Are you gonna let her talk to you like that?

Yes, you're pushing thirty. You better watch yourself because you're about to crumble.

Girl, I'm pushing thirty. That's like this thing, like you better be hill with those comments because I'll kill myself.

When he was like talking about we're at the Kanye Show and You're like, yeah, you better put makeup on that old ass. And I think that like every day when I look in the mirror and I'm like, I'm getting old of it.

You better make up on that old ass much. It's like, you know, what's up is? I do not remember.

I don't remember that at all either, old beat that old man being six thousand years old. No, no, on the edit, hey, on the edit, you won't not blame it on And then Paul released a new song That's giving Charlie X X a run for our money. No just giving Charlie. It's Charlie. It's Charlie. It's giving Republican, it's giving planted, it's giving Yabamte, it's giving claymation, it's giving recounts. It's giving, it's giving.

And like I said last episode, I am just in the air. Everything is fucking funny. You bitches are crazy. I am the only one in real life, Like none of y'all are real.

You're all fucking crazy. I'm just here to vibe, to chill, to look like.

It's giving recount the vote. It's giving recount of vote fraud. It's giving stop the count, like you know what it's giving. I'm with her.

There needs to be there needs to be a class in elementary where it's literally dedicated to finding a hobby, because when you don't find a hobby at a young age, you end up being on Twitter talking about some recount.

The vote, but you can't even count the.

Are you talking about? Like you go recount it?

Then you go you Half of them, half of them just don't even know. They're just regurgitating what their uncles said, Like none of them know what they're actually saying. Like, that's the thing. That's the thing.

What's awesome is they're so bad at arguing that. If you said that to them, they would literally be like, you're you're doing that? Who say you're not doing that?

I want to learn not to argue with the fool. I learned not to argue with the fool. Is that it think about it. Don't argue with the fool.

Also, the other thing with the the Cave documentary is like the people who were helping I would tap out. I was looking at them. I was like, how do you eat? Like?

I can't even think.

I am so fucking stupid. I was like, if you put even like a hypothetical problem in front of me and explain the situation, I was like, how are we gonna do it? I'd be like, we're not. We're just not.

I think if if I was trained enough, I would be able to do it.

I would never be trained enough. I just don't. I don't believe in using my brain power. Let my girl throw up, like, let her throw.

Crazy. Not only am I quane on Republican Okay, we need.

We need Republicans who like euphoria.

Girl.

This turned into the Red Scare, Like immediately.

I always mentioned word scar never want to buy listens. I've never never once.

Did you know that the.

I'm not I'm literally just thinking of the most problematic things to say in my brain.

And I'm like, gonna you know that the that Euphoria hit a record for like most streamed premiere on HBO Max, it was actually because the extra half were Republicans who were from Turning Over and they were like, I want glitter on my.

Eyes, glitter in my eyes, glitter in my heart. I'm gonna show you what you want. What was that glitter in my eyes? You think?

I literally that first episode, I like the first sentence in I was like okay, okay, and then by the end I was crying my ass off, and I was literally like I felt like when characters like that Wolf character and old cartoons would see a hot lady and start stomping its feet and be like, oh, like that was me, like the wolf that like killed it. Something came back to.

Like ghost was cat calling the horn man Ali.

Yeah, And that's that's my review of the new Euphoria episode. Every time I think about Euphoria, though, I get immediately triggered to how before that show came out and I had my bleached eyebrows and bleached hair. People called me a literal fucking bum and we're so mean to me about it.

The cameras recording.

You're joking, Yes he is. He's so fucking annoying.

But yeah, there's my scare.

I get triggered out. How people believe calm.

Best performance.

It's the new awards they're giving away.

Okay, that's it, We're done. This episode is done.

We need to give me.

I have a really good, like terrifying, like like woman in pure disgustingly, like nauseating pain scream. Do you want to hear it?

No?

No, no, No, there's a different one where I'm like kind of muffling my mouth because it's like a woman who's like like a murderer. She like can't help herself and she like can't hold it in.

I feel like I'm like daycare right.

Now, daycare. I would sneak out of my fucking naptime and go kiss this kid, and I would get all up in that mouth.

Try to tell me this isn't a computer chip.

Taking that airplane at night.

That's a computer ship. Forget.

We need to end this episode.

Media of the week, ech ech okay, can you say that for me? I'm just gonna butcher it and I'm not gonna try one second. One Gazebo no pink cover.

Oh.

Yes.

I was like, you can't read Gazebo.

Okay by Jeanette, Yeah, that's my number one song, and then dreams is served by evangelists and then red Alert by DJ cam Girl.

Okay, I challenged you let's see.

You or me? All I can think is I was like, so many of these kids have no idea what like AVEV means, but maybe they do because the context clues. But after experience what I did at the rose bol, I'm like, damn, people who can't understand the language and don't know more than one language have no context clues when it comes to human language. To explain, I was at the rose ball and these three white motherfuckers were out of tent and they were like meet up, meet up meta, Like what does that mean?

Like?

And then they were like he speaks Spanish, right, and they were like yeah, he was like meet up Meeta Mira like kept saying that.

They like he kept saying that, and then he was like, what does that even mean?

Like family, and I couldn't believe that.

I was like, what is pyson Payson?

I honestly don't know. I don't know.

Fuck what do they just say it?

Probably like but it's like how pepita like for me means like pussy And then like I don't know what it means for other people were.

Like what am I saying? Is in my ass.

Anyways? I that meda means family and I was like, it means look and then they're like huh. I was like it means look like look and then they're like that makes sense because every time he says it, he points and I was like, you mean he's looking at you, pointing and saying meta and you don't understand that that means look? What does pason means?

I don't know. I couldn't find it.

I I don't know. I don't know what that means.

You told me to I remember, I was like, how do I say? Help me? Help me? There's blank in my ass?

Um nipple because I've never had to say the word nipple anyways. Are my top songs?

You know?

Because I watched Yukhoria, this has to be one of them. Right down the line by Gary Rafferty, the next one's aren't euphoria related, Crying by Roy Orbison, Cherish the Day by Shah Day, and like a prayer Madonna. Oh Come.

We also watched Gummo on thirty five millimeter.

Fucking awesome, so good love that. I'm sure there's gonna be some slick, dumb fuck who's like you've never seen a Gumo, but you like were in there, like you liked bunny hats because I have original thoughts, bitch. I am just in a bitter, hateful mood today, I know, and it's fun.

It's like come out like literally one of my resolutions like subconsciously was like I'm just gonna like live and let live, just like shut the fuck up mine my own, I don't give a shit like whatever. But then I remembered how fun it is to be mean.

I was born to be bitter, like I was born to be bitter, Like they put something in my bones that it just feels right when I'm bitter.

It literally makes me think it's.

Because that's what I'm gonna be like because I want your Rinda Kai, but no, I mean to everybody because it boosts my ego.

It makes me feel good.

I'm an insecure person and being need makes me feel confident, and I'm gonna do what I gotta do to get mine and if that means hurting other people, I'm gonna fucking do it.

I'm like now, I'm like back now, I'm back on my ship where I'm like, no, I don't want to be mean, because why do I think it's cool to be mean?

Because I'm fucking I just said I'm hateful. I'm spiteful.

Yeare a mean one, mister Gringe.

All right, that's it for this video episode wherever the fuck you want to call this little thing, this little fucking gadget. I love you. I love you guys. No, guys, I love you guys so much. I actually do. But you know whatever, fuck you.

But yeah, legitimately, but I would never say it.

Yeah, that's no, because that that goes into the thing of like people were like, I don't hug my best friend. I'm like, can you grow up hug the people you love because one day you won't be able to hug them because we're all gonna die and someone could walk out your front door right now and there's a chance you would never fucking see them. Again m R.

Giving them paranoia, the.

Yosification of experying a close death at an early age. So living in extreme paranoia about everyone's mortality for the rest of your life.

Bye. Wait, we should do that.

Bye. Three