women should cheat more

Welcome back to emergency and chircom. I'm Drew, I'm Anda, and this is our unmedicated ADHD Damn.

Sorry, I'm eating bread because I'm not kidding. I think that medicines like day quill and ni quill that give you liver warnings on the back are actually making you sicker, because every time I take it, I my kidney's hurt.

Well. I don't know. I don't know what to say to that. I don't believe in medicine either anymore.

I felt na, I feel.

Like I all over the counter medication. Give me a percocet, though.

Do you believe in burgers?

Not like I believe in percoset. I believe in roxy cotton, roxy codon, oxy cotton. What else is there? Lollipops.

I'm gonna stick a lollipop in your butt.

I would literally love that so much. Because there's this thing called boofing that is like ketamine.

Yeah, why have.

We made like condoms that are like integrated with certain things.

Like to get people high?

They probably do do that. I'm gonna make that any of those jokes, No, they're all being left in.

Okay, we have mushroom gummies mushroom condoms. That's too much because you can literally go like to the Apple Store of weed and like get a good edible.

Why are you putting in your butt? Like, but yeah, that's shit. I just want to say that I don't believe in modern messin over the counter. I take it because.

Yeah, I believe in modern meds and like vaccines and whatnot, but over the counter, like you're selling me something that on the back literally is warning me a million times not to take more than.

Two a day or else I will experience liver failure.

I should be putting that in my body. Yeah, I should be letting the gods cure me as they intended with my immune system.

But I was sick last week. As you all know.

I feel way better. But I woke up stick again because I felt better. My first day feeling fully healthy, I was like, yes, perfect timing.

It was our friend's party. I went, and then I smoked a bunch of.

Cigarettes and stuck up your throat again.

Back to fiel in a little not so lit But that's okay. That's just the way. That's the way love goes.

That's the way it is. That's the way it is the only reason I said boof ketamine is that's an inside joke with one of our friends that is one hundred percent listening and we miss you. We miss you, babes.

Imagine she just doesn't listen. But I was going to say something.

Oh, I realized my farts for the most time are silent because I have no ash cheeks for them to travel through.

Yeah, you don't. There's not that like walls.

There's no wall of sound.

Yeah, since mine is so fat, it's like earth shattering like farts when I do. When I do, it shakes the earth. You remember you remember the fart? Yeah that you remember the San Francisco earthquake. Yeah, that was because I shipped myself.

Your ships are really like like scentless.

Yeah that LA won and I think it was a ninety eight. Maybe I don't remember. There was the one that collapsed the bridge in LA that was on me. Unfortunately you had just been born though.

I know, Oh my god, yeah, you were born with all cake.

It's it's devastating, It was devastating.

I did open the fridge this morning and I farted like a forty eight year old man, and like I was literally in my like pajamas and like all like ragged because I just woke it up and I like looked in the fridge and I farted and I felt like a forty eight year old who like is a divorcee and I deserved it.

You lost the apartment, you lost the house, and you have the bachelor apartment.

Yeah when I live with like two random twenty year olds who I like mount.

Yeah, the the divorcee apartment is like really sad and something a lot of people go through and no one talks about, Oh.

What if it's a man who is divorced, he probably deserves it. I'm sorry, I know constantly.

I just fucking I tigtok.

As we're working, I always watch porn at like four minutes just to like feel something, just.

To remind yourself what time?

Yeah, yeah good?

Oh speak divorce.

We need to level out the playing field and more women need to start cheating. And I was thinking about this while I.

Was driving yesterday. So men cheat, I know that like.

Women because we're just so like emotionally intellectual like and we're not driven by these like fucking like ruthless evils that men are. That more often than not, women aren't the ones cheating So here's my plan, because I know that cheating like is like a hard thing to do because women are just so like gorgeous and amazing and perfect, so it's hard to like be unloyal like that because

Cheating is in. That's my trend forecast.

Tread forecast this trend forecast that no cheating is in twenty twenty three. Women, cheating is in. It's a sleigh. It's like very sexy. It's like damn, like I bet it was good though, Like yeah, yeah, that's my addiction.

Yeah, And girls can't actually cheat because they're not pretty enough, so they have to lie.

Is that a joke or no?

That's how I feel.

I thought, like the thing is you go so back and forth, Oh you said, but you said girls, you're not talking about like women. Do you reserve two different opinions or you just think like women and girls are like just.

Nasty vaginas are scary period uterus, and that's on. Start saying that, Like, oh, like when you're gonna say like period, you say uterus.

I was thinking, like, instead of saying, oh, it's giving, it's purring, don't.

Say that, No, do not do not say that, but say uterus. Oh my god, like it's giving Uterus.

It's not giving Uterus. I'm not saying that. Yeah, I'm gonna say it's giving colon.

Oh my fucking god, I cannot believe you said that, because that is the perfect segue for something I have written down that I wrote down this fucking morning. That is insane that you said that, because when was the That is the first time that word has been utter on this fucking podcast. But when I was like eleven or twelve, I was having like really gnarly stomach issues, like I don't know what the fuck was going on. Like I would eat and immediately like throw up right after.

Dude, maybe like shiver.

Yeah, it was fucked up. I still do when I when you forgot.

To brush your teeth in the morning you went to school, you smelled like shit.

I never forgot to brush my teeth.

I know, you smelled like fucking doodoo.

I went three day no please, no, no, no, but I had Where was I? Where was I?

You said, okay, you were going to the doctor.

You had stomach Oh yeah. They were like, you probably have acid reflex and I was like, oh, yeah, I fucking know. Well we went and got a second opinion from another doctor and they were like, this is weird. A twelve year old should not be having stomach ass or stomach issues like this. Like let's get you an indoscopy, which is when they get a camera and they shove it down your throat and they look at That's why I don't have a gag reflex, They shove the camera

Could it be me? Like I'm no job out, You're just such a wow, like stick to the plan, like, well you ever heard of that?

Yeah? But and they asked they they said, oh, like we also want to do a colonoscopy. Is said okay, And I was like, yeah, that's okay, Like more shit to talk about.

This is when you're twelve.

Yeah. So in the same procedure, they did an endoscopy and a colonoscopy at the same time. And this is the worst part. Well, okay, prior we'll.

Go back like two days at not the same time.

They met the cameras in the middle, and there's footage of my insides with the cameras looking at each other.

I literally was like, damn they I fell towered you.

Yeah, literally literally, but I a couple of days prior, I had to take like the most amount of laxatives anybody's ever consumed, and like I mean, I was like spraying shit out of my ass. This was like pre constipation era, Like it was flowing and it was like football season. So like there was like a bathroom right next to our living room, and I would go in that bathroom and like explode shit out of my ass and people would like evacuate. It was like really fucked up.

Assume you got a big guy because you were spraying ship out of your ass and you weren't watching.

I was heavily no. I actually was washing my hands because my mom made me. But I was heavily, heavily, heavily convinced that this was malpractice and I was gonna win like a case against this company.

Mind.

I literally was. I was like I was scheming. I was like figuring this ship out. I was like, Oh, this is not gonna slide.

You're gonna finger that ship out.

Yeah, exactly. But you talked about it like the first my yeah, I'm so japan core, like if you know, you know.

Because of the.

Babe you got that in l a Little Tokyo. But what was I saying.

You were saying that you're gonna finger it out?

Wee we bleeped it in one of the first episodes, because that was like we cannot like we cannot start like so.

Far gone, Like it's not like I feel like saying that you finger poop out of your butt. It's probably one of the like most more pained things we've maybe said.

Did you know that if you're a girl and you got a ship.

And you put your finger in your vagina and you press against the back, you could feel the poop in your butt?

That's real. That is so real.

That's so cool.

That's what like what? What?

Like?

Why is that so cool to you? Yeah?

You could just like massage it out if you really needed that. I haven't done that because I'm not nasty and I don't poop.

Are you?

Okay?

That was just far too much for me.

That was that more than all of us watching porn.

Yeah, that was that was too much for you. No, that wasn't too much for me. I just like didn't need to see that, Like I never needed to witness that. Like it was laying eggs. Like it was laying eggs and.

We were watching porn.

That was like, I feel like it used to be a big This podcast is fucking nasty, maybe, like so we were watching this porn that's our media of the week. It's like the egg porn.

Yeah yeah, right right, Well we'll we'll go to like a little nicer note sad still for me. But so I recently found out that the odor that I was smelling in middle school, like during the wintertime was stinky ugs, Like girls would wear their ugs and they would fucking stink like ship and they would have an odor, and it was like always kept a secret, and I was

What was your reaction?

I was literally destroyed, like humiliated, because like I thought I had. I thought I was like rizzing all over her, like I was spraying riz everywhere, likes the way was squirting riz, like it was crazy oozing riz. It was like thick, creamy riz all over the place. But yeah, she said no and I was like literally like so heartbroken, like not because I wanted to go on the date with her, but because I was like embarrassed that someone would say I just wal.

The way you rubbed her eye and it freaked me out. You were doing like such a specific way.

You were like, yeah, because they you get like that.

It literally looks like an animatronic. It was scaring me.

Okay, So she said, no, did you just walk away or did you try to like say anything else?

Oh? I was like I was joking, I straight up. I was like like I wouldn't ask you anyways, like that type of vibe, and like, yeah, it was really familiar. Yeah, but look who won. She has stinky fucking.

Ugs and you are sitting in that.

Chair drinking japan Core.

Well what jrew said that to me?

I was like telling him how I saw a TikTok about that the other day, like about stinky ugs. Oh, because the girl who does all like the two thousand and eight content did that. But I didn't know that was a thing, Like I didn't know when you were like when people were young, they were like experiencing like ugs getting stinky, because no one my area had fucking ugs and then it reminded me that I had bootleg ugs when I was younger from sketcher broke.

And I was like broke, no money, poor, Oh my god, like I get your money up, not your funny up, I mean, and I was a kids bugs.

Oh my god, did you just make fugs up? Yeah, fugs is good, FuG leies.

It's probably it's probably been said, yeah, I said fugs.

Well, I had fugs growing up, and I just thought they were the weirdest shoe ever because nobody I genuinely didn't see ugs until I like met.

You guys and then and then I put you on.

Yeah, and then I saw like, of course I saw like fall girl like memes and stuff.

But I just assumed it was like such.

A niche community that did ugs, and I didn't know that it was a huge thing for like white communities.

And I was like, wow, okay, yeah, yeah.

It was really a big that and like this is a deep cut. Actually I don't even think it's a deep cut. But Kendrick Scott was like it was like the Tiffany of my hometown. Like if you had like your kinder Scott necklace, your kinder Scott earrings, your fleece like north fish jacket, your uggs and your leggings like you were top bitch in school, like that you tour like that was the fit. It's like fake ash jewels, like I don't know how.

Yeah, yeah, and I think this might still be a thing.

Yeah. Well the Kendra Scott in that all the girlies would go to is no longer in business, so fumbling hard fumbled the bag. But one of my friends recently, Kindri Scott, hosted a party in Austin, and he was hired as a fake paparazzi to paparazzi all the celebrity guests that went in. Greg Abbott is a fucking freak bitch, monster bitch.

I don't know who that is.

He's like the governor of Texas. He's the worst fucking person and like we all is like right now, like he just needs to keil over, get it done with, finish the job. He pulled up and it was quiet.

Like did they not fake Papa up?

I think I think that they had to.

The job had to be done. A job was a job, and the job had to be done. Well, yeah, uggs were and then wait, I actually really want to find the fake sketchers ugs because I don't think they like were big too sketcher ugs. Now they're doing like the new ones I need to find, like the grumbly ones I had. These were kind of what I had. They were like similar in like sheen like they were so weird,

So my dad was just like went to.

Go get a shoes and I was like, oh, like, these are like those shoes those girls have.

I'm gonna get it for my girls, and got it for me and my.

Sister, and we liked them because we're like, oh, these are fun and cozy. But like it's if I wore any other fake shoe to school, like god forbid, I wore like shock yeah and ones or like shacks to school, I.

Would have been like roasted at the fucking steak.

But nobody knew what uggs were, so they were just like, oh, she's off her cozy shit. Like I was just serving like going to school and like my cookie monster pants kind of vibe when I pulled up with those and people were like, Wow, she's so cozy, like me coming.

To school with a blanket, my eggs.

Yeah, I just toke a fuck me going to school with a blanket, my fake ugs, my like black jegging like leggings, my white polo polo polo.

Why did you just call me jeggings?

You are kind of like juggings because after if you wash, it's your fucking useless I'm gonna you away and you get all soggy and saggy on my butt, bitch.

Like I was saying.

But yeah, me pulling up like that, and then with my crunchy fucking gel hair because I didn't know how to take care of my curly hair, so I was doing my life with like the most gel in the world. Oh my god, me walking around school like in seventh grade like this, walking down.

The hallways, like because my hair was still soaking wet because I put it in the sink that morning to wet it for my gel.

But yeah, nobody clocked me on my fake ugs because we literally didn't know what that was. And also, like it does make sense that they fucking stink because in the winter they're just like walking through the snow in your ugs and they get wet and nasty.

Yeah, and like the girls would wear them in the rain and they would literally get fucking moldy and start like crumbling underneath their feet, like soggy ugs. Is like the funniest thing. Like there are photos of girls with like muddy fucking ugs. Like it's like the funniest shit I've ever seen. Like they're like sagging down.

There, really looking up muddy.

Uh yeah, it's like the funniest photos I've ever seen.

Ew Oh, this is just a video Kate's ugs stuck.

In the mud.

That's got it. This specific photo. This is the funniest thing I've ever seen in my entire life. Is why is this a thing? Like on Google? It's like hella, muddy ug photos. It's like, yeah, my ugs get used.

Wait, I need to like find this picture that I was just at because it was fucking crazy.

This one.

Okay, but I got made fun of last night at a bar.

I literally made fun of And guess what you know what maturing is? I said, nothing, Well, you were sober.

Yeah.

Also granted I was just in shock because I like not to make it seem like, oh my god, I got made fun of for the first time. I know I get made fun of because I go out in public and for the most part, I'm like obnoxious, rowdy, loud. I know people are whispering about me, but it's rare that I hear someone fully just outwardly talking about me.

But it literally felt like a moment.

Where, you know, like the stereotype of like oh like just like I hate using this word, but like kind of like pick me girl moment of like the girl who's making fun of me. It was like a girl and a guy making fun of me, and it literally felt like pick me moment of I'll swearing.

Yeah, of course, like drinking beer on a Sunday night, you fucking loser, get a get a fucking life loser. No, literally okay, but especially at this bar, like you're drinking a fucking beer like yeah, ab so at the bar.

It was this bar that has like a photo booth that I've actually been made fun of. So this isn't my first time being made fun Last time I was at this bar I got made fun of because last time I was there, I go there for the photo booth, like I don't give a fuck, Like that's not crazy. What's crazier is like you pulling up on a Sunday night to drink beer. Like, what's crazier me going to

But I guess it is a bar, so I'm just being nitpicky.

Anyway, I'll pull like I we'll put up what I was like wearing and like what I looked like.

And I think they were just having a member.

Were like this fucking dim wit, fucking airhead, dumb bitch walked into the wrong place, Like does she even know where she's at?

Like that was the vibe it was giving.

And I when I went into the photosooth originally yeah, which.

Makes a lot of sense.

But when I went into the photo booth, originally I felt them staring at me. And I thought to himself, I was like, I already felt a bunch of people staring at me because I knew before we even went to this bar. I'm like, people are gonna see what I'm wearing and be like this fucking idiot, why she's so dressed up, but I don't give a fuck because it's a nice ass outfit and you could kiss my goddamn ass. You're the loser who walks out of the house looking like shit because you don't care about self

Whatever.

Then at this far there's this like big water jug thing, and I went to go get water because I wasn't drinking and I was like, I need water. I walk over to get water and their table is like right here, like if you're the water jug, they're right here. Like it's like kind of that cloth.

I'm sparkling water jug. Wait, what is it?

It's like the gatoraide jugs.

That's what you got.

Oh the sparklets.

Yeah, sparklets water.

I don't know where that is.

But I was there filling up and I feel their eyes burning a hole into me and they're just looking at me and giggling and laughing, and like I kind of glanced over and I was like, oh, yeah, they are fully staring at me. And then I was just kind of looking at them in my perpheral and thinking, and I was like, they're fully making fun of me, and we're not far enough and they're not hiding it too.

That was the crazy part, is.

Like they weren't like whispering, they were fully just dead staring at me. And I was like, Oh, they actually think, because I look so pretty right now, that I am a fucking imbecile. Like that's what it felt like. It felt like in their head, they were like, she's so fucking stupid. We could literally talk about her out loud right now and she won't hear it because she's actually stupid. And that's what it felt like. I didn't say anything because I was like, I was honestly just shocked.

If I was there, I would have beat the ash.

Thank you, bibs.

These hands do not discriminate.

Thank you. That means a lot to me, Like I just having a man in my life who will stand.

Up for me.

I'll take anybody down.

Thank you, but will you though, Yeah, I've.

Been working out. People have been saying, according to Kaya, that I look bigger.

Oh, I know, it looks bigger.

I had a good Penis Day yesterday. I had to tell Kai and Mason that Okay, yeah, but you didn't tell me that, yeah, because you saw it.

Yeah, but it just didn't look very different to me.

So I go back and all my friends are sitting at this table kind of next to theirs, and then I was loud because I wanted them to know that I fucking heard them, and I was like, I said to all them, I was like, those people right there are literally making fun of.

Me right now.

And I've never had that happen where someone's just loudly, blatantly looking at me and making fun of me. And I don't know what to do about it, and I'm not gonna say anything, but it's fucking crazy. And I was basically just doing that because I was gonna be in there for a while longer. And I was like, I want them to just not do that again, Like I know you're doing it, so don't fucking do it again, or else I'm gonna say the meanest thing to you ever.

Like, would have pulled out his fucking hair and snapped his glasses and broke every fucking bone in his fingers. That's crazy, that's such.

A weird high school level of exactly.

And I guarantee he did not wash his balls or under all the flaps on his fucking skin. And I hope he fucking burns on hell like he will burn in hell, Like.

I couldn't believe it. And then this was the other thing.

So then when we're standing there, I made sure that I couldn't see them because I was like, I don't want them to see my face. I don't want them to say anything about me anymore.

And it smelled like dry spin.

But that was kind of like this, like the girl's back was to mine, but I was like this, I.

Don't know if I'm sorry, Yeah, you can't. Also can't hear you.

I was gonna scream. But I was like this basically with the girl.

And I heard him say that, and like she's facing him, so my back is fully to him.

He says that, and then like I kind of turned a little because I wanted to see if they were still looking at me. They are, the girl fully turned.

The girl fully turns her body, looks at me up and down and starts laughing and then turns back to the guy and she was like no, exactly, and like starts laughing again. And I couldn't believe it. And then as I was walking by, I just said, like, really that again. I didn't say anything mean, and I should have because I could have read them both to the ground and up too because they can.

They're fucking ugly, like cigarette stained teeth, fucking gaps in their teeth, disgusting, rotten British person teeth. It was one of those.

Vibes where it was like, I think that girl was like so down to make fun of me because she felt superior because she like was.

Like I don't need makeup and like extra clothes and like whatever.

And I'm like, okay, maybe you do, though, because like you're not serving right now, and like where is your sleigh? Like it's not present, it's not in the room with us, so why are you talking about me? But as we're walking by, I was just like, I think they've been making fun of me for the past twenty minutes and I don't understand it. I don't think I'm chirping, but it's fucking insane that they think that's okay to just talk.

About someone like that so loud. And then I just said that and I like didn't even look at them to see if they heard me.

We're finally getting a taste of our own medicine.

But the thing is why they were so like you know what, It felt like it felt.

Like they were like they were comedians, Like does that make sense? Like it felt like they were the kind of people to like go and do stand up and be like, so I saw this fucking idiot, bitch, what's up with girls?

Now?

Like that's what it felt like. They were giving, like they were there to perform to each other on a Sunday night because they were bored and they like need a few beers to start being funny. And it was just crazy and I couldn't believe it.

See, this is my rule.

And I was tart and I didn't say anything mean to them.

This is my rule. You can talk shit about anybody you want, make fun of anyone you want, but as long as they don't hear you. Because this is what happened.

It's just so great. I just I couldn't believe. I've never heard anyone be that loud. Again, I know, bitch, I've like sustained myself to the internet, let alone to being an obnoxious fucking freak for my whole life. So I know people talk about me. I know people fucking hate me and think I'm annoying and shit or whatever.

Oh you you are, yeah.

Okay, yeah, just like every time I degrade myself you're so quick to like agree, jump in.

Yeah, because you know you the best, Like you know yourself better than anybody does. So I'm just like agreeing.

Oh okay, I think like sometimes when I say that, I need you to say like that's not true.

M m, well I would be lying.

Oh okay, I guess I can respect that.

Should we talk about or I'll just get into it. I'll just get into it, y'all. So I have a question for you, Kai. Have you been getting pregnancy content on your for you page, like pregnant people, like cute little babies like all that shit.

Yeah, I've gotten a lot of like pregnant and on my feet page, but it's all girls that I got pregnant that I'm like friends with.

And I think that you're an absent father.

Yeah, Like why would you even like admit to that. That's not a flex? Maybe that's not the flex you think it is.

Well, it's cool.

As men, we are put here to spread our seat as far as possible. That's why our stamina is so high, and that's why we don't get pregnant, and so we can like plant our seat and spread it's actually pull as far as possible because that's just how what that's just how have you though?

No, I haven't pregnant.

Okay, maybe you're getting it because like you know, when you're like literally on the same Wi Fi as someone, you get their feed.

Can you just say, yes, yes, I have. So this proves my theory. That proves my theory. So we're starting to think that the government is putting cute babies in pregnancy content on everybody's TikTok for you pages and their feeds because our generation is having a very very small amount of babies, Like, no one is making babies. We're like such, we're like not doing it. And I feel like they're trying to like incentivize us with like this cute baby content and it's like, oh, look, how cute

The world is gonna heal, it's healing.

Yeah, that's literally what it is. But yeah, the government is putting pregnancy content on your for you pages to get you pregnant.

That's how I feel.

But then I'm also like, maybe it's because we're all in our mid twenties now, and it's just showing other people in their mid twenties, and most people in their mid twenties are getting their fucking life going and they're like, all right, I'm gonna have a baby and like settle down.

Or like have a family.

I love the joke where it's like we don't need any more influencers, like we need electricians and plumbers. Like it's okay, you don't have to make viral content online, Like please go to school to be a plumber.

I think you should do that because like honestly, like you're okay at what you do, but it's just you could be better at other things like building homes and stuff.

That's like the meanest thing someone's like ever said to me.

No, Like you're funny, but like it would be funnier if you just like did a real job, like.

As a bit. Yeah, yeah, you're really.

Good at it, and you like stuck to it for like thirty.

Years oh yeah, if it was like a bit like an Andy Kaufman like yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, except like you like really did a job.

Yeah that sounds awesome. Well shit, yes, I know who Andy Kaufman is, Like yes, like I I get Wait, did.

Y'all think Andy Kaufman was being serious in the one video? Yikes?

Ya, yikes?

Where is your comedic gradear?

Oh cool? My shoe just keeps like like literally degrading in front of me, Like this is.

Like, also, you mean deteriorating. It's not like degrading you? Was it degrading you? Like it can't speak?

I think degrading can mean anything decomposing. Well, yeah, I agree. I'm just surrounded like, yes man, I'm surrounded by yes men. And it's like really shocking.

When we agree with you, you say that we're fake. When we disagree with you, you say that you're.

Everyone's against you exactly because I am a victim and what I'm just supposed to do be fucking normal. I don't know. Just don't come like I need.

You're a fashion victim because this olfit is horrendous.

Why are you laughing?

Because she fucking bodied?

Okay, did you wear? Did you wear that sweater on our rainy day waterfly hike yesterday. Yes, did you wash it?

No? But you're getting I didn't need to watch it.

I don't smell bad. You can't laugh at my outfit.

Damn, yeah, you can't laugh at his outfit.

Let me just say this, you can.

I just say, what was that voice?

You're well, that's just how you said it your outfit.

Let me just say this. You guys, just wait until I start dressing.

You'll be looking like ranch.

God.

Well, here's something I wrote down. Hot guys are so nasty because they know they're hot, and that's just super nasty and it feels very controlling.

And manipulative, and I think, like men are so nasty. No.

Actually, that one selfie of Timothy, like I have to text him about it because he actually looked so cute.

I saw him in the grocery the other day and like we were just like working on each other and just like dapping each other up and like hanging out, and like we got like a drink at the cafe and we just like caught up and I was like, damn, you're like kind of a.

Nice guy, kind of did you have bags? Says with him before. Yeah, yeah, I guess he can be very.

Fucking hit me.

Yeah, but that's what he went to therapy for.

So it's like, okay, he's like not and it was only you. So I don't feel like that crazy about it because I deserve this.

People do change people.

Sometimes I see you and I do want to hit you, though, but like so I get it because it's like, yeah, you're just like you just have like a very like Drew is getting his stuff out of the dryer and I wanted so badly to close the fucking door on his body.

It was so perfect. It would have been so fun. Instead, I just hit your back a bunch, but I gave you back shots.

But yeah, like like also like when I say hot men, because we all know that, like I do find certain men hot, but like like young men like around our age.

Yo, you stepped on my fucking toe her so fucking bad. Oh wow, she hit me. She fucking hit me reaction, She fucking hit me.

Your nerves are literally frozen.

Oh my god, you did stump on my big tone, and my nail is gonna fall off. I think I'm not joking. It's gonna turn black and fall off.

Well it's not my fault you're wearing fucking shoes that are paper thin. But yeah, something about it is just so nasty. And all I can think about right now is the one example I wish I remember who I saw that made it made me think about because it was a TikTok of like this guy.

It's something about him.

I was like, you made this with evil intent in your heart, like you're not feeling yourself. You made this as like I'm gonna do something like I don't know, it just felt very evil. But then all I can think about is like, we need to shout this fucking TikTok out because I think it is literally the funniest one ever.

The the girl taking the cup from that guy.

Oh yeah, and it's like there was nothing in that I'm thinking knew it.

He knew it.

Well, while ya finds that TikTok like, I fear that my mind. Have you found it?

Yeah? Wait, I have? The shirt's a cat? Have you wait? Have you seen this guy before?

No?

So his whole thing is that like.

He's hot and he drenks coffee like literally, I'm not kidding, like, and now he like sells shirts question mark Like I don't really know.

This is me just dizzy when this guy tried no raison but like he did this once.

And then people were like, you're hot and you look like, what's that one actor whatever?

But this s grow.

Oh my god, change.

Knew it. I fucking knew it. You're just like the others. You're no different from the fucking breast. It was empty the whole because he's always with that damn cop.

And I will say it always does empty because he lifts it so fast and then he slowly SIPs.

But fucking knew it.

I fucking knew it.

Well. I fear that the tides have finally changed. And I'm not gonna mention them by names specifically, but I think a lot of my faves are evil, sinister, greedy beings, and I'm not gonna name them by names, but just seeing the way some people have behaved recently, I'm like, oh, like, you're you're dark. There's darkness there, There's like a there's an energy. Yeah, there's a vibe sick and twisted.

I what I will say, because I were on the same page. There is just a chance we're losing our mind and we're heading towards like a break, really fucking and then like three days ago and the building.

Yeah, the building. There is a building at the like really close by our house. And we looked at it and like, I didn't say anything because I was like if I say this out loud, I will sound insane, and like I was talking about Enya or talking to Ya about something else, and when the thought pumped into my head and then Enya said exactly what I was thinking. We looked at this building and we were like, oh

So it's like a stone building.

Yeah, it was marble on the walls. And we were like I would have noticed if there were marble coat, Like if there was marble coating this building, Like why am I just now seeing this? Like this is new, this is fresh. And they also took down their pride sign, which is crazy. It's a little suspect, but yeah.

But it literally scared the fuck out of us.

And then I was trying to explain this to somebody on the phone yesterday, but they were like, no, that's normal, and I was like I don't think you understand what I'm saying, and like that's why you can't grasp it. But like it's like the comment saying like if you think you're going and saying that you're not, because you're

Last night on the drive home, like it was so high death and like it was so bright and colorful and beautiful, and I was just like, holy shit, like this is real. I'm real. I'm like seeing you, You're real. I'm hearing them talk in the back and I'm like, y'all are real. Like damn, all of this shit is actually real or it's all fake and I'm just waking up.

I know. That's the scary thing is like I'm like, oh my god, everything looks so real right now because I had it yesterday too. Oh.

Also, basically we saw this building and like it looked real, like for the first time ever, it looked like a building, and I was like, dude, buildings are like three D structures and they're not. Like, it's not this thing that if I crushed my car to it would just fall back and like lay flat like it was a building. And I was like, oh my god, people are in there right now, and it was really scary.

I don't believe that people are inside every building, like I don't think. I think we're the only people inside. And then when we walk outside, people just spawn like I'm not joking, Like there's no way there's people inside the house.

Next to us and they're doing stuff in there.

Yeah, they're doing evil. It just not makes sense.

But then yesterday I had the same thing while Duror was having his awesome dream.

Yeah, so I'm gonna explain it because I don't give a fuck because like, what else am I going to say? But so yesterday we me kind Mason went on like a waterfall hike and it was really pretty and it started raining and we were like, oh, let's get like a warm bowl of ramen after so we cruised to the Ramen shot, we got a bull of ramen, and then we all went our separate ways and when I

About to cry.

I was just really embarrassing because I thought I lived in loved a man, but then I realized.

That it was just a boy.

So and you're ugly, so oh my god, and I never loved you. I could say the same market Oh now you say it. Now you say it, but you weren't saying it last night when I was giving you back shots. Oh oh, I love you so much. I love you, I love you. It's always I love you until it's not right about that, right about it? But I don't right this dream? So you know, previously I had a dream where I got shot and I woke

He was literally so shaken up and almost cried, and I had nothing to give him because I was just like, well, while that was happening to you, I was in here, awake for the whole day, having another like disassociative meltdown because I was laying in bed, and when Drew went to go take a nap. It was like a cloudy day out, so like perfect nap vibes. But I had woken up at like twelve, so I was like, I don't need to take a nap. It was like four pm, and I was like, maybe I just go lay down.

You do have a gas sleek in this fucking house.

I know. And I could see everything so clearly, and I was just like looking around.

I was like yeah, and I could.

I swore I could see every hair on her body and it was freaking me out. And I was like, dude, you look so real, and like she was moving around and like being sweet, and I was.

Like, dude, this is like such a like like like like animal, Like it's like such an intimate connection I have with this animal and I've never spoken to it, but I like know it so well.

And I was like freaking the fuck out. And then I looked over to my dresser and I have this like.

Actually really fucking nice dresser, by the way, fuck you, and it's like this space age like yellow dresser, and I like looked over at it and it was a yellow color I've never seen in my life and I never saw on this dresser. And then that started freaking out because I was like, dude, I've never looked at it,

And then I was like, oh my god, everything looks so real.

And then I looked out the window and like the sunset was like so gorgeous because it was like one of those sunsets when half the city is like super dark from like it being rainy, and then the other half is like just like normal and like they are like scattered clouds, so I just like looked gorgeous outside. I was like, I need to go outside and like

So I can't leave the house.

And I was just like standing in my room, like listening to music and looking out my windows. And then I was like I kept seeing people walk around, and I was like, what are they thinking? Do they think it's nice out like as nice as I do? And then I was just freaking out. And then like looking around my room and everything looked.

So real and it was scaring me.

And then that passed and then I was back to just being on my iPhone, so I was back in reality.

I go back.

I was grounded back to reality with my iPhone.

And then yeah, we you know what it is is it's just like the first time we've looked up from our iPhones ever and we're just seeing the real world around us and we're like, Wow, this is actually really big and beautiful and it has a lot to offer. But then we have to drown those thoughts out because they're scary and change is scary. But you know, I've been thinking about recently, and I'm being dead serious when I say this, Why don't me and Drake kind of

Let's see I unfollowed him a long time ago because he's pizzing me off.

Also, me and Harry, Yes, we look alike. Me and Timmy, that's my boy. I know we look the same. Yeah, I just have a bunch of doppelgangers.

Do you just think that because of his beard?

No, I just think we look the same. M Well, save that picture. Will take one of me posing like that, and y'all will be the judge.

Because the thing is, I'm on a did and for some reason, I'm like, why is it? Okay, that's not.

You, bib No, See that is me.

You know what I like y'all don't look alike.

But I understand what you're saying, but it really is just like the facial hair.

The energy vie.

You should go get your like facial hair like done up by a barber.

And I mean, I'm cutting it all off, I don't know.

But before you do that, can we like line it up and like see what you would look like if you were like abnormal.

Because you're very like you're abnormal.

India has been like trying so hard to change my appearance recently. She's like, You're like, what if we like played around and like dyed your hair, and then what if we played around and cut all your splits off? Like oh, could we could like shave your beard and like get that off of you too?

Like what? I never thought that.

It's because I'm somebody who's so used to changing my appearance, but now that I am like so stuck like this and I'm like this is we Also. I hate that as I've been talking, I've been getting more adjusted and it's so nasty because I keep sucking at my snot.

I'm really sorry. I just need to give head so that it's like a netty pop kind.

Of gone the suction. Yeah it works, But yeah, I think it's more like I'm not the person I fell on you. Yeah, you felt like you found attraction for it. I don't think i'm you, just like and I think you're trying to change me to be, to mold me into the thing you want me to be. That I'm my own being and I have my own once and needs.

You know. What I want to do is you know, like what are they called, like the pottery table?

What is that called?

From?

When I hit you? Yeah, cry me a river, bitch? What are they called the tables? The like pottery wheels? Is that what it's called? Like a pottery wheel?

Yeah, I.

Want to put Drew on that and like make sure it's Wiener's in the middle and then mold is.

And get a bunch of water. But it's like water.

Based And like I'm having like a hard time laughing because my leg and toe hurts.

I can make the rest of you hurt really fucking bad if you don't shut up.

Sorry, sorry, Yeah, Well I have a couple more things written down than I wanted to talk about the next being, Oh that's mon reveal.

I did a moon reveal on I G Go check it out. So our friend Jesture, their birthday was yesterday, and the day before yesterday they threw a little rave, big rave and it was the event of the weekend of the year, of the month.

Or like it was the best time ever.

But it was actually really fun.

Yeah, it was so fun.

But at that party, there was someone that I fancied, and I was like, ooh, I want you, I want you, and we kept like locking eyes and like making eye contact and it was really really sweet. But I'm too scared to interact with anybody other than my friends because of when I was rejected in grade school asking that girl to the dance. It stuck with me for the rest of my life. But she has stinky fucking ugs now, so it doesn't matter. What the fuck was I saying.

You were saying you fancied someone, you couldn't go up?

Oh yeah, I couldn't go up to them because I was terrified. And so then I ended and I pointed in yet to this person. I was like, look at them, like they're so bad, like I want them so bad, like they're hot, like whatever, and and he was like, sure, why don't you go say hi? And I was like, I have so fucking lutely not or say I'm leaving. I'm leaving. Yeah, absolutely not. Anyways, next day I was like, I want to find who that was. I really want

Is gonna like so people are gonna look at the slide show and like.

There's there's a few people on that, so I don't give a fuck and they will never guess. But I screenshotted it and sent it to Gesture and I was like, who is this? I need to know who this is, Like, please tell me who this is. And Jester like didn't respond for an hour, and I was like, oh god, like who is that and just responding was like Drew, that's my fucking uncle, Like you were hitting on my uncle the entire night, and I was like freaking the fuck out. I was like, oh, hell no, I thought

When Drew told me that, I like cracked the fuck up because I wouldn't have guessed that, but also that's so sweet, yeah, I think, And then my toxic response was like Okay.

What does that mean?

No, that was my response. I was like, okay, give me their number.

Now what link me, link me, Let's link and build.

Let's link and build.

Why do me and Oscar Isaac and Pedro Pascal have to go to Paris together.

Or have a threesome together?

Yeah, we need to go to Paris.

Oh see, you said that shit to me and I didn't understand it now and it.

Was such a bar.

Yeah, let's see if well I already spoiled it. But Eiffel Tower, Effel Tower.

Yeah, Drew sent me like this slide show of like Pedro and Oscar being friends.

I was like, wait, oh, I didn't say anything.

I just sat a picture of the Eiffel Tower back and Drew was like, what does that mean?

I was like, I know. I was like, okay, or you said we need to go to Paris? Oh yeah, all three of us need to go to Paris. But yeah, that slide show was fucking crazy. Literally, don't even get me started.

I don't like Last of Us, but like I might watch it.

That's kind of my life too.

But to see him be big and strong, so big.

And strong, he's a real boy, Like that's the thing.

He could probably pick me up.

I'm seeing what Oscar Isaac is in recently.

I just only remember scenes from a marriage.

Oh he was in this new Marvel thing called Moonnight.

You're not gonna get me to watch that. I don't care who you put in that.

Yeah, never, But you could reincarnate Michael Jackson and get him dancing in the fucking Avenger Circle and I wouldn't watch us us.

This is literally anti Marvel.

Anti Avengers. I'm so sorry.

And if you fuck with it, honestly, that's gorgeous, that's beautiful, but you are abnormal.

I'll leave it at that.

I think, like the majority of people like Marvel, I just can't do super fucking heroes. I can't do it. I don't get it. I never will, I never have. I also can't.

Also, the comedy style of it. I think it's like also what turns us off because there's like.

Such a like it's so like.

I got it the whole dad, what what the heck?

That's literally.

But yeah, I just can't do it.

Also, saying someone is abnormal as a disc that's in because saying someone is abnormal is actually really fucking mean. Like I said that to somebody yesterday and I was like, it was like as a joke and it was funny, but I was like, if that was real, that would have been so mean, Like you're abnormal.

I take it as a compliment.

So next time somebody you don't like post TikTok, just comment abnormal.

We should take that's don't do that.

That's so mean.

We should take normal out of the dictionary.

Okay, we'll do that. Then, is that what you want to hear?

Like, yeah, it's done. That's exactly what I want to hear.

Dictionaries are literally useless. Now, like we have.

All right, well, thank you guys so much for watching this episode. Oh wait, actually before we go, this is just random, but I did have a dream that we were in a plane crash two times in one day and we survived each other, but and it was like a plane crash that it was like this company had like really like malfunctioning planes. We got on and it was like really dipping a lot, and like it was like the worst takeoff ever. And I had turned to you and we were in business class because we were

It crashes.

We crashed on the highway like it was like basically landed like this person.

It was like a female pilot.

She's it makes sense because she saved us because the plane was the one that had the malfunctioned.

She didn't do anything wrong, but she.

Crashed like she landed on the highway. Oh my god, she landed on the highway. Nobody was hurt. But then the highway was like in like like like very it felt like we like were in Brazil for some reason or some shit, but like it was literally the highway was next to like a river and like it was gorgeous.

And then we landed.

Everyone survived, and I literally stepped back and took the most lit id picture of like this plane with like a broken wing and like everybody like kind of standing around, and then I put.

On my Instagram.

I was like, lloel what the hell and like I that was my comment, Like my caption was.

Like llol haul and it was like the plane crashed.

And then the like the like airline was like trying to comp us by getting on another plane. And the pilot had told me she was like, watch the same thing is gonna happen, like these planes are all fucked up, like I've been trying to say this to them. Whatever, we got on the plane anyway, and then it happened to get it. We survived to get it, and we were like we were literally so high. We were like damn,

But before we ended, I'm gonna do some media.

Oh just you you think, just you.

Well you were trying to end it early without it.

No I always say thank you guys for watching, like recently, and then we do media.

But whatever, Vespertine the entire album by B York. I know I've said it once and I'll say it again best B York album. I don't give a fuck what your opinion is. It's so good, so so good. And then hold on, hold on, hold on, I need to get the title of this song. Okay, I actually don't know which one it is, but it's off of Oil of every pearls on Insides by Sophie. There's a song on there specifically, but just listen to that as well, Masterpiece.

I think TikTok TikTok Spotify, if you have listened to a song before or like constantly, they'll throw the sampled one in your Discover weekly because it happens to me a lot, Like when the Tyler album came out and I was listening to it a lot. All the samples were in my Discover Weekly the next week.

That's that's as fuck. But I've been playing I think it's called Planetary Evolution, but it's a like a cookie clicker style, a game where you click and make a bunch of money. And I have officially broke the top three hundred top earners of all time. I am going for number.

One now because we just did the pod.

I know I have to get back to clicking.

Well.

My Discover Weekly is saving my feelings for you. Blossom Dearie act in a smoochie I spice. Princess Diana is by Sta drinking my cup by kirkle Bangs curkle bangs.

Media. Of though, we should start calling it Discover weekly because you said my Discover Weekly on accident.

But we'll do that if Spotify, because that's just give me a little something.

Hey, Spotify, sign with you.

And then Finest Hour by the Sundays. The Sundays is probably one of my top five artists.

And that's it. That's that. Oh my god. I remember when I was like obsessed with the Everything but the Girl.

Album, the Burgal album, Like.

That wasn't my first time being obsessed with Amplified Heart, but every.

Now and then it just creeps back up. Oh, and I've been listening to the Crambers.

I've just been in my like like nineties two thousand like girl kind of being.

Like, ah, I'm thirteen again in smoking cigarettes by the big green electrical box at the park.

We actually hung out by that a lot after school with the YMCA counselor because he would let us like leave to go.

Get ice cream.

But he was he was a dance teacher, so it wasn't like it wasn't sus he was just he was like I think literally like twenty two and just was like living out older brother like fantasy of like if you don't want to just go get ice cream.

He was actually the only cool counselor was so annoying.

You ever smoke a cigarette? I think I spoke my first cigarette at the green machine or the green box, I think everybody.

I don't think I smoked my first cigarette until I was like twenty or something like.

I think I think it.

Had to have been in La and then like the first time I really started smoking was when we went to Paris for the first time.

And then the entire b thing for some reason, No, We're not.

Well, that's because you said he stings like mildew, which he does, but like you didn't have to call him out.

Whenever you don't let me hit for like a week, I do start to get pissed off you.

That's literally me though.

Everybody. Oh, that is one thing that we previously mentioned, but it was very true. Everybody in La wants me. Oh yeah, it's crazy. Everybody wants me so bad.

I'm like, it's annoying no one flirts with me, but like I'm not flirtable with and I also like when people flow with me. I literally, oh, I'm so mean by well because I just don't what to do with that.

Like when people will flirt with me, I literally be like once once it registers in my head because I'm talking to somebody, and then they'll say the one actually flotageous thing with me, and I'll literally just like because I'm registering it, I'll look at.

Them and be like, it's literally cringe flirting with people as cringe as fuck.

Yeah, I'm like okay, yeah, and then I like just keep talking and that I'm like, I'm gonna go find my friends.

Because you've scared me. Now, now you've made me very scared.

But yeah, all right, well everyone wants Drew, everybody here wants you.

You know that song, I'll serenade you with it right now.

You don't know the song fast forwarded. Why the fuck would I know the song?

Because it's fucking Jeff Buckley, bitch, one of the greatest fucking artists ever