Welcome to this episode of Emergency Intercom. I'm Drew, I'm Anya.
And we're just here to have like a beautiful time spread misinformation as I do best.
I know that is your that's your thing.
Yeah, I hold my whole stick and it's spreading this information.
Right.
Well, what were we just talking about that I wanted to talk about Naked Attraction. Yes, Naked Attraction. So there is this show that we have been binging, Like, I think we might actually be the fastest completion time of this show ever. Like when we're just sitting in the living room, like and we have homies over, we'll just be like, Yo, have you heard of this show Naked Attraction. It's like this old BBC show that like just gets naked and you see naked bodies on TV and like
everyone's like there's no fucking way, but there are. There is a show on HBO Max where you can just see naked bodies. But it's like normal to them because they have like they don't have like insecurities about their bodies and shit.
Also, the standards of like showing your body, Like I think the ideas of the naked body are like different in Europe.
Which is literally how it should be. Yeah, but like we have just been told to be afraid of our body and stay dressed in clothed at all times because capitalism they make money off of you if you clothe your body.
So that's why we should all get naked. Yes, that's our big takeaway from this episode today. No matter what conversation comes up, just know that what we want.
Is specifically women.
Oh men, actually show that show. I am not kidding, Like I cannot stress enough. When I'm eating and watching that show and it's all naked men on the board, I literally lose my appetite.
Like it's like.
Really hard to watch and it's so gross. It is literally so jarring, and it actually like, no, it makes me sick. Like I was eating and I was so fucking hungry, and we came home and we started watching it with Josh, and I literally was like, oh my god. I was like eating my poke bowl and I had to put it in the fridge and eat like saltine crackers because eating like flavorful food while looking at those naked bodies like of those men was actually scaring me because.
Like, ironically, I feel the exact same way about the women I don't know. I just don't disgusts me to look at women.
Is that because you just believe in like like the like the not sexualizing women's bodies and it feels like, yeah, okay, I knew it came from a feminist place.
No.
I will say, though, like the that show is really unironically good for like the male psyche. And that's where I'll leave that, because like there's a bunch of like normal fucking looking penises on there, and all you see and porn and television and shit are like monster fucking giant hogs. And then I'm saying that, like I don't have a monster fucking hog between these I because.
It's, if anything, you are the beauty standard. You're hurting your fellow piers exactly.
I'm slinging me bro.
I would. I could say the same about the women though, because like everybody on there like is just like your average person. And I'm like, okay, cool, I am not supposed to be shaped like literally an i'mvu character. My body is normal, Like I am fine, I'm fine.
Well, I think all women should have like really thick thighs, giant but big boobs and like a four inch waist, like I think women.
I think if someone had a four inch they'd be like perished, Like they would.
Be like like okay.
I'm just like really confused with your like standards, like do you love them or do you hate them?
I think they should be naked all the time.
Okay, okay, I mean that didn't answer the question, I guess, but yeah, that show is awesome. If you are not a child, you should watch it.
Yeah, literally, but it did like raise a lot of like people were like, get this.
Shit off the airwaves, like what the fuck is this? Demonic?
Like Americans were like what the fuck is this? But like it's just like the VI.
I will say, it does make sense for it to get flack because it is like, at the end of the day, like it is crazy to just put naked people in front of you be like you're ugly, your balls are gross. I don't like that. I don't like that.
But okay.
My one thing is they always describe Kouchi as nice and tidy. They're like that's clean and tidy, like, oh, she's got a tidy little fanny.
Like you.
Know, mighty Like I like that. I like that sneak and tidy and took away and tidy did I know? And I'm like, well, first of all, they said about every pussy that's on screen, and I'm.
Ever called a gosh, no, this isn't that.
I think that's like that misinformation.
Is that misinformation?
I think I have heard that term dude. Actually some of the dudes on there, some of the dudes when they get kicked off, they're like, you know, she's not my copper tea, but she's got a banging rack on that board. Dingy, somebody is a shame, like I will say, and I'm just like.
Wow, I fucking share in the bird.
There was one guy in season six.
Every time Drew does that, I have like an out of body experience. I like to associate it.
When you do that, you seem like you turn into a robot chicken, like like toy. Does that make sense? Don't kids? Do people still watch robot chicken? Don't think robot chicken exists?
I think so they want scubity toilet, that's the robot chicken.
Wait, what is it? You're so popular? How does it go?
I'm gonna no, it's a smig for the picture. You're so pretty, You're so popular. I don't know and don't even You're so rasy.
Its like a w Ohio version.
Yeah, yeah, exactly, You're so scibbity, you're so phantom text.
Okay, what does the Ohio thing mean, Drew?
I know only in Ohio. Well, it goes back a very, very long time. And that's all I have to give to you.
My name is Carmen Winston. My name is Carmen Winston. I'm seventeen years old. I'm very similar to you. Did I mention that I'm dead? You're really good at it. I was trying to tell Drew that that's what he should be for Halloween because we've been discussing. I know, next week is the Halloween episode of we've discussing what we are. I already know what I am because I'm basic and I'm silly and it's gonna be cute.
I haven't costume.
Yeah, we have a costume for Drew, but I think we should keep an open mind if something else comes up. But I was like, he should be Carmen Winston for Halloween. But the only picture of her Winston Winstead. But the only picture of her is a picture of a child who is definitely alive. And just like it was back in like og before AI because now if something like that happened, they could just be like make dead girl whatever and like a I would make a new person.
But it was back when people would just grab a random face and be like, bitch, that's fucking.
It's crazy, like all of the creepy pastas. I watched like a video of like the original photos of like the creepy pastas, like you know, like what is the smiling jack one? What is his name?
I don't know, but that's what one of.
The Basically like they're all just normal fucking pictures that look kind of beat that someone saw and then just edited the fuck out of it.
That's literally us with the goal.
I was going to say, like that's us with a certain someone that we don't need to talk about, but yeah, literally it's it was the internet, early days of the Internet, like forum Internet was so crazy, Like I want to go back, take me back.
We have been on a crazy reality TV kick. We never tap into reality TV and we just bitch, Oh my god. I don't know if anybody actually took what we said and went and watched Love is Blind that like I could have watched eighteen more hours of that shit Like that was literally the best brain raw I've consumed in a very long time.
Yeah, it's just so drama filled in messy boots, and like the reunion episode was everything I wanted it to be. There were some things that were left out that I was like, I want clarity on that, But it completely shifted my perspective on sign I know people that I was like, oh, you're evil, but no, it like completely shifted and I was like, no, I'm happy for your.
Yeah, everyone, I'm like, you're relatively normal, but JP is the killer.
JP. You're watching you know me?
But that motherfucker is the killer. Okay, but we can.
Move on with Wicked. But I want to talk about waterbeds. What were we doing, like literally what was like I still.
Never touched or interacted with a waterbed, and that was to me a sign of luxury. Two things won a waterbed, the idea that somebody out there could afford a waterbed was a sign of luxury too. I realized that, like this puts into perspective like my family situation. But I had a homegirl who was godmom was like twenty four and bought a brand new Toyota Corolla, and I was like, fuck,
if only we were that rich. Like I literally was like, fuck, I wish we could have a new Toyota Corolla and that car like it, it's like a twenty ten Toyota Corolla in red. That car was the like that was the sign of wealth to me. That was silent Was it called like silent wealth? Yeah, that was silent wealth to me.
Yeah.
I was like, damn, that's crazy.
Yeah. Well the only reason I brought it up was because I like had this like deep, deep, deep seated like memory in my brain of me interacting with a waterbed when I was like four or five, and I realized that my mamma and granddad had a fucking waterbed for like the first six year. No, that's what I'm saying.
They were like freaky as fuck. And then I just like went on a deep dive of waterbeds, and like everyone who had them when they were younger were like it was literally the worst thing like I've ever slept on. Like literally imagine just sleeping on water in plastic and like so like think of an air mattress and like when you sleep on an air mattress all night, you
sink into it a little bit. It's the same idea with waterbeds, except it's water and really fucking heavy, so you get like trapped in this like fucking like divot in the waterbed, and they were like it was like impossible for me to get out sometimes, like I would have to call for help get out of my bed because I was like inside of it. And then they were like also like filling it up was really terrifying because like you can explode the waterbed or whatever. But yeah,
I remember playing. I remember I was not allowed to fucking touch that waterbed, Like I was not allowed anywhere near it because I was like a toddler and I would just jump on water.
It's expensive, I feel like, actually, not that I think about it, they should be cheap because it's literally a big plastic balloon and you're filling it with the water.
I think they were pretty expensive, like at the time, like because they were just like gimmicky. They were like, yeah, exactly the best leap of your life. But also imagine having doing like s on that. Like what I'm saying, they're freaks.
They're they're they're moving with the motion of the ocean. You know that kind of like they were literally.
Like, it's not the size but the motion of th ocean.
No one's ever said that to you, because you've got.
That slinging meat hog hog water. But yeah, I remember playing on it one time and I literally like it was the same night that I chased my sister around with a knife after watching Billy and Mandy. And have I ever said that?
Yeah? Yeah, then you're because then your grandparents were. Your grandpa was like, you're never watching that show again. It's evil.
Yeah.
I mean it literally was like I was watching clips back of it. It's like actually an evil show. Like there's like an evil demon rabbit that's like tough Love. Have you ever heard of it?
And he starts beating this show like he looks really cute, and then they'll do the zoom ins and he'll say something evil.
Yeah, and then donn Yeah, basic.
I've never seen Donnie Darko. I've never seen Donnie dark show. I'm gonna watch it this week, I think. But I was thinking about that. I was like, I've never seen any James do Wall movie. And I saw him at the Slow Dive concert and he was staring at me and I was like, oh my God, I'm gonna act like I know who the fuck he is right now. Like, so we went to Slow Dive and it was amazing.
It was so good, literally, and you're like, got me tickets because there's a lot of her history there. Basically, when my brother died, we went back to Texas and you're like, came with me and we were driving up and down these streets like literally going like one hundred and twenty miles per hour, like literally so dangerous. Don't do that. I'm not bragging. It was literally Basically I was.
Thinking about that the other day when I was getting ready and I was like, that's the kind of shit that like you look back on and you're like, that is so immature.
The roads were empty. It was like fuck nowhere, the fuck middle of nowhere, Texas, Like these roads like didn't we did not see a single soul on it for like the hour and a half we were driving up and down this road. But there are two songs in particular that when those songs came on, like, I was like, we listened to them over and over again and it's slow mo and star roving and I literally still to this day cannot listen to those songs without just like
sobbing my eyes out uncontrollably. And at the concert, I was literally like boohoo crying and I've never cried out a concert ever in my life, and I was literally just so like before it, I was like, I'm not even gonna fucking cry, like I thought I was the week leading up, but like when we were getting there, I was like, oh, like I feel nothing right now, I'm not gonna cry, and I still crowed.
I rowed. It was so good. I love concerts so much, Like I'm I've been on a big concert kick, like I'm going to every concert. I can find tickets too, but fuck resellers because concert tickets are way too expensive right now. It's actually fucking insane, like even for smaller concerts, like why is this ticket one hundred dollars?
I think we're literally like hitting the peak of it because like Travis Scott's tour, like obviously Boughts bought all those tickets and everyone's like I'm not going to that shit, like what and then last minute they're like I'm gonna go. But like the resellers bought too many, so the ticket prices are so fucking low for his tour, which is like crazy, that's like Travis Scott.
And it's also crazy for resell tickets. Yeah to like an arena tour, those are usually so expensive.
Yeah, but just buy the ticket. If you're really wanting to go, just buy the tickets an hour before the show. It's literally a cheet could.
Yeah, I know. That's what I want to get on, is like buying it right before, but then what if they're sold out? But that's like really rare that, like there's not even one person reselling tips, Like come.
On, okay.
Another person I want to talk about is Susan fucking Boyle.
Boy That like name sounds familiar, but I don't know if I know who Susan Boyle is.
She's the like it's like don't judge a book by its cover, like Underdog Story on American Idol, where like everyone.
Was I do remember Susan Boyle.
Yeah, everyone was, like for the people who don't know, she was like this girl on American Idol or whatever, one of those British got talent or whatever. I don't fucking know. She was like not the most beautiful woman you've ever seen, and everyone immediately clocked her for it, and was just writing her off and just being like
dicks about it. And then she got on there and sang her put her whole fucking pussy into that song like Susan Boyle put her puts the end of that fucking performance like she ate down and she won over Simon Cowell, who is melting in front of us. He's literally actively melting. We need to study him. His lizards him for years of all. His lizard skin is melting off of his face, like his it's really really scared.
How old is he? I feel like he's been fifty for like twenty years.
I think he's probably sixty five.
But yeah, she ate down my brain just like did the thing where you like glance at something and it replaces it, And I thought it said that he was ninety four years ago.
His skin is melting.
No, he's sixty.
Four, but whoa, yeah, dude, That's what I'm saying. Like something is seriously when you can look into that.
Oh yeah, he looks amazing.
But didn't she have like really gnarly Uh it was the X factor, But didn't she have like a gnarly controversy or something like or was that just like tabloids just making shit up to like ruin this woman's life? Who just got said in fame?
I don't know, but like, does she make music?
Like she did make music?
She uh stormed the Capitol.
She she was at the insurrection? Why was she there? Bro?
She's British dude, nobody knows.
Damn she has five hundred k weekly listeners. Wait, she's popping.
Okay holes apart?
Yeah, I mean I helped write that about Drew he wait, she eats dream to Dream the time?
God, boy, do you know that song that's what she sings.
Well, that song has thirty two million streams. So there's people out there who listen to Suzanne.
Boyle, Susan Boyle. She was such a heavy fucking card getting that last name Boyle fucking boil. Some people have it so hard, like literally.
That's insane. There's so many people out there who make music who I literally don't understand, Like who wait when you look up, So Suzanne Boyle, the first song that comes off is anal Queen.
Oh so maybe she did rap at.
Like it's like Susanne ainal Queen, I dreamed to dream anal Queen.
But like, but yeah, I think she Oh wait, yeah, she went to a psychiatric hospital.
Well that's up. So thank you guys so much for listening, Thank you for tuning in.
No, I also wanted to talk about perfume in middle school.
Oh my god.
Like, okay, so we all know like the nasty, stinky boys who didn't shower after football practice in the morning and just went to the locker room and sprayed like a disgusting amount of acts all over their bodies or links like they would go just like I was a part of the problem, like s like just doing it, and like I want to see the correlation to people who have like something wrong with them mentally and how much acts they poured on their body when they were younger,
because like that shit is suffocating, like literally like the exhausted you.
Literally just said you were one of those people. So you're the example of fucking That's.
What I'm saying. There's gotta be a correlation or a pipeline.
Now, you were further proving your point because you were conspiracizing that the reason something is wrong with you mentally is because of your axe you Yes, yes, I mean there is a whole thing about what's that one burned of deodorant that menus the red one old spice. Old spices literally gives chemical.
But I've had them in high school. I had chemical burns all over my armpits and they were like bloody and blistery and it hurts so fucking bad. And I didn't know what was causing it, and they kept using it until I saw like an article talking about it.
What men are so fucking stupid because I literally somebody I dated had the same thing, literally had chemical burns under his armpit because of old spice, and he was like, dude, this this deodorant just burns me. Like I don't know what I'm supposed to do. I was like, throw it away and get a different brand of deodorant, Like what is happening? And I had to physically throw it away and go with it to buy new deodorant, Like why do I do that?
I feel like that's unacceptable. That's a grown ass man. I was a child, dude. Let's get that straight. Let's get that straight. Motherfuckers. Oh you fucking I thought.
You were seventeen though, So you're.
Yeah, high school three years ago. That's when I just have you graduated already. Yeah, I got my ged.
Oh, so you dropped out and then you got a GED.
No, I got my GED early. I did a bunch of AP in college. I'm actually a senior in college right now too.
Okay, so did you start college?
Oh that's aggressive.
When I was freshman, I had started AP and dual credit classes.
But yeah, men are so away for like that, Like, bitch, throw that shit away and move on, Like what is wrong with you?
When I was when I went to middle school, I went to a new middle school after sixth grade, and I was like the new kid. I didn't have any friends, and this one kid who's like the coolest kid in seventh grade was like, you should come to my house after school today, like you're sick, and I was like okay, tight, Like I made a friend. He's cool, he has cloud. I go to his house and then immediately he's like, dude, like, do you know that you can make bombs out of aluminium and bleach?
Oh? I did that all the time. The shake like yeah, yeah, I did that.
For the next like three hours, he was just like building bombs and then he's like, dude, on board with this. So then he had like a brother who is I guess like ten at the time, and he was like, let's smoke bron let's smoke on my brother. And I was like with what, Like what are you? What the fuck are you talking about? And then he was like, dude, I do this all the time. It's really sad.
Stop does he We had axe sores to where we would tape the top down and.
He tapes the fucking axe, can't, throws into his brother's room, runs around and locks the door, and his brother's like screaming.
Thing, it's crazy. It was crazy, and we would have ax.
Or I'm now thinking like what what did his brother end up like to do it?
Literally inhaling Like it's literally like inhaling a whipp it. I feel like I feel like it's the same, Like it has to do the same thing to your brain, like if you're just like suffocating yourself.
With something like that, Me and all my home means literally are all freaks. So like it makes sense because we would do the same thing. We would have axe wars where we would like build forts and then spray each other with acts and shit. Then it graduated the spray paint and then it became bullying, and it's one of my biggest regrets in my life as I spray painted a kid and then he had school next day. Yeah, like no, I like I spray painted him, like it
it's really nut show. Like we we were like, let's let's have a spray paint battle, and then me and my friends like teamed up against him. It was really really dark and like do you know him? So yeah, yeah we're still friends. Like I literally apologized for all of it because I was like I was evil, y'all,
Like it was really bad. But yeah, we used to do the bombs where you would get tenfoil and then it's, uh the works It's called the works bomb and then like there's like a chemical reaction where it like expands the bottom and like explodes. But we also used to shoot the cans of acts with bebies and explode them. They wouldn't be they might have been fire. There wasn't fire now. But then going like I.
Would get in so much trouble because when my dad would actually go and get me like a victorious secrets like body spray, and I would come back home and it was fucking empty because I would be in classic like on all my friends going to the bathroom being like let's go to the bathroom and put on our perfume.
But really we were just literally soaking each other down with it, and we would literally start to smell, like literally some of that perfume reminds me of the smell when you leave like piss in a litter box too long, Like it literally like it's literally ammonia, Like it is a crazy fucking scent. And the fact that like we were also why did teachers get so mad about is like using it in classic bitches.
Because you were literally gassing out the class, like you were causing problems like that shit, That's what that was. My original point was, like we get made fun of for our ax use, like y'all weren't doing the same fucking thing with that glitter perfume, Like it was.
Such a vibe though the glitter perfume also, like school in general just smelled like maple syrup, fart bombs, and then a mix of like the worst perfumes on the planet.
Like that's all just breakfast in general.
Like I hated that smell. I hated getting to school in the morning because I don't like the smell of maple syrup, especially that fake ass one that comes in the fucking like McDonald's little one, and school would just smell like that, like you knew if a kid had breakfast at school that morning because they just smelt like a pancake. You smell like a pancake and out of my face like it was so wide sticks.
Oh that shit hit I literally my entirety. I'm not gonna talk about that. I'll tell you all that later though.
Oh wow, oh wow.
I just never ate in high school.
Oh I didn't either.
I did not eat school lunch and I would eat two meals when I got home.
Yeah, chicken nuggets every day?
Your every day?
Eat chicken nuggets every day?
Did your school have chicken nuggets every day?
Yes, seriously yes, and I would eat them every day.
Actually, see when there was like a good thing like chicken nuggets or something, I was fucking that shit up. Or they would give us like fake ass chickens with no mayo, no lettuce. It was just the bun and like.
My chicken us were like half frozen.
Yeah, it was like hockey pops.
You have to like all them in your car.
My school had a Subway, a Chipotle, a Dominoes, and a Chick fil.
Are you trying to think of something else to know.
I'm not I'm not even kidding. We had, but we had like yeah, you know, we had like dupes of it. Like our Chipotle was like shitty like cafeteria food, but they would wrap it up into burritos for you and it was like thirty dollars.
If the layout of your school lunch like place your cafeteria.
The cafeteria was like this and then along this side of the wall was like four different like lines that you could line up in and you would like so like burrito line was this side, then the pizza line was this side, and then like the regular lunch food was this side, and then like the chick fil A and sandwich making spot was like this side. But they had actually did you.
Literally they went to high school musical Like what the fuck?
They actually had real Chick fil at sandwiches like, but they would sell out so fucking fast, that is insane.
My cafeteria school was you get in there's two lines and it's the same fucking slop shit on each side, and you just had to wait in line. And if you went to the front to like go see what there was before you got in line, you would get yelled at because they'd be like, get to the back of the line, so you had to wait in the line just to get to the front and see that it was like cold ass fucking green beans, like a shitty like empty like pizza that had like no marinaros.
On it, like sausage pizza. The little fucking nodes of sausage was like actually they looked like moles that were removed from the lunch ladies backs. Like they were literally so fucking nasty, Like I can't and kids ate that shit up. I was like, you're freaks. But the kids that ran to the lunch room like I want to see where they're at today, Like they were about that shit. They were all like the weirdos with like the roller back backs, but like where are they? Like do you
know what I mean? Like they're on fucking computer people.
Who like needed to be at the front of the line. I'm like, that shitty food is going to be there for the next forty minutes a roller backpack? Did you? Actually?
Yeah, I did high school but in fifth grade and this really big kid would always kick it really Also, I brought like a teddy bear to school, like way too late into my like elementary school years, and I had a roly backpack with a teddy bear that would like his head would stick out, and this kid would just kick the ship out of it.
And that's sweet actually a factor you being a like both.
They're sweet because I'm the underdog and I'm the main character. Okay, no matter what.
I don't know if you've ever watched a movie, but usually the that's not how.
That the kid with thely backpack is not.
The well have got. It's crazy that like schools make kids pay for lunch like they're there was like nothing more humiliating.
Did y'all have book covers? What do you mean like the Nylon book covers? Yeah, oh my god, dude, that.
Was like stretchy ones.
Yeah, it was like a currency in my school, like and I remember, like I was so fucking swagged out, Like that's when I knew that I was cooler than everybody else. Still, am don't fucking play. Was when I had like all the cool book covers and then I had that side satchel bag where my binders and books would sit in school.
You would have got beat the funk up because that is so embarrassing.
Like kids who like, no, I was mumu coded, Like what are you talking about? Like yeah, like I had the mu meu side satchel like it was.
That was the evolution. It was the roly backpack to the thing that you strap across your chest. I thought it was like a messenger bag or something, messenger bag.
I didn't know anybody who had those, Like who was like cool who had those?
So my school was different so it was cool.
Yeah, I don't know. It feels like you remembered that because I was saying you bullied, and then you had like a moment where you remembered being bullied, and then you brought that up.
The narrative has shifted. Yeah, you were the person blowing people a second ago, and now you're no.
No, I was. I was wicked, like I wasn't like I wasn't like a normal bully. I was like I would like, I was like psychological, Like I was like a psychological bully. Like I told this kid he had squades one time and they didn't like, sob squirrel aids for those like and dude, I still feel bad about that. And then like the teacher sent me out to the hall and I was like oh, I was devastated, and
then like, yeah, I spray painted him. I threw like basketballs at him all the time, and then like, oh, dude, actually I don't want to tell that one. That one's mean.
Well, what I was saying is why the fuck do they make children pay for lunch at school? Because that
is so gnarly. I will never forget going, Like there was nothing more humiliating than getting to the front with your tray of food and then then putting in your number and looking at you and being like you don't have any money and taking your tray away from you why and giving you cereal and milk, And I was like, that is so humiliating, Like each time I would fucking cry and be so embarrassed, and just like you're always in line with a friend behind you, and like then
your friend just goes and gets their food, and now you're walking with like a thing of cereal and milk and your friend has all their fucking hot food and you're just.
Like, dude, it's really gnarly, Like if you think about it, like we would rather our children's starve than fucking let them eat a two dollars meal that costs two max two dollars, but like what, like, actually, what are you.
Gonna do give my trade to another kid? They would just throw my fucking try out, like you might as well just give it to.
Me, Like yeah, exactly.
We had like I'm hungry.
We had really sweet lunch ladies, like I love my lunch ladies. Like if, like my parents forgot to put money on my account or something, they would just be like, you can pay me next time.
Yeah, they would let you go sometimes, but like I was one of the kids who would always like be like, oh, I'm gonna have money next week. Sorry, and they're like, You're not gonna have money next week? No, And then.
Brooke Brooke, no money, no bitches, no swag, Broke bro I had a lot.
Of friends who fed me so and I'll never forget that kindness that was shared to me. And it was a lot of friends who had fallings out with, falling out with and then I had to fight them anyway.
So I will never forget. You got jumped in middle school, bitch.
I never got jumped, but I have got my ass I jumped. Yeah, you got jumped.
Ten times, bro shut the ten times all in a row too.
Every You're being sacrificed.
I jumped.
To get my ass rightfully. So one time, and it was by like one of my homegirls, Like I said something I should have never said to her, and she she had some height on me, and she fucking beat my ass. And immediately after we had a really good conversation and it was fine. We had a very nice conversation that we never beefed again. That was in like fifth grade.
I actually did get jumped one time very quickly. I was was I was a freshman again at a new school, a new high school, and I.
Am, so you were like new kids syndrome.
I was new kid syndrome three times. Yeah. So I like I would carpool with this kid, Diego, and we had we shared a locker. It was like freshman year and this kid comes up and he shoves me against the locker. I think this was like a week into school or something, but he was in my p class. He was really strong. He shoved me against the locker and then Diego uh goes around the back of him and grabs his hat and throws it on the ground. I might have said this on the podcast.
Is this something that?
But it was like the nicest thing that anyone's like ever done to me or for me. That's so out of nowhere. Like I didn't even really know him that well, but he just like stood up for you. He stood up for me, and he like grabbed his hat. He grabbed his like fitted San Francisco Giants hat and like stomped on it, and he was like, don't do that to my friend. And I was like, I was like, bro, that was so fun.
Friends.
Yeah, at that line in culture, we just like stand up for like the yeah.
White Like damn.
His parents were feeling themselves.
They were like, what are we gonna name him?
I'm gonna name my child San Francisco, San Frian My name is San Francisco and I from San Diego.
The fuck uh.
One time when I was on crutches and I was like first in line at this thing, and like one of my friends who dated my sister in like seventh or eighth grade or something like just was like fucking around with me and like just being a dickhead to me and just being whatever, just shooting the ship. But I wasn't like having.
It smoking smoking.
I shot it out because I started to laugh at myself because I was gonna be like, whoa, you let your friends hit your sister, Like you let them hit that? Like that's crazy.
I did, Bro, it was crazy. I was lit.
Did you ever get yelled at by your friend's parents? Uh?
Yes, I'll tell about that in a second. But then this kid I boiled over. It was the first time I like saw red and I had my crutch and I just went and like take the fuck out of his shin, like and I literally made him bleed that and he never fucked with me ever again. But he had like a gash on his leg, and he was a track runner, and I like, I was like, go for the like, go for the leg, and I just and like cut his leg open and bruised it, and he was like limping. He was like, bro, what the fuck?
Like why did you do that?
I was like, don't fucking play. When I was like probably thirteen, my best friend was really into skating. And this is when you asked if I've ever gotten yelled at by like someone's parents.
Which, by the way, is like one of the worst it's whole things that can happen to someone.
It is literally horrible, horrible feeling. And I still to this day when I think about it, I get like like, oh, fuck the fuck, Like I get like nervous. But yeah, my my friend was really into skating at the time, and his dad was like this like macho guy. He like built everything. He fixed up cars and boats and like he was a pilot and he did everything like he was actually really cool, but he helped. He was helping his son build like a half pipe, like he
was like built. We were building a half pipe for him, and like I was like a fucking skinny, little scrawny, fucking nasty twink, like I was gross. I was like I was needed to eat a fucking Burger challenge. And we were building this half pipe and I came over on the day they were building it, and the dad was like, hey, Drew, come over here and help me.
And I went over there to help him. Went over there to help him, and he was like moving like giant sheets of plywood because they were almost done and they were stapling like the top on or nailing the top on, and I just could not I physically could not hold my end of the giant sheet of plywood, and I was like dropping it and I just like
I couldn't do it. And I kept telling hibod He's like, no, you got it, you got it, and we had to walk like thirty more feet and then I just like drop it and then he like drops it on his feet and he gets Oh my god. He was so fucking that. He was like, why didn't you w you are gonna drop it?
Like that could have really injured.
Me, and like he was like reaming into me, and my friend was like, bro, like what the fuck is going on? He'd like he took his anger out on me and snapped at me, and I just was like, Okay, I'm gonna go home. And I called my dad and waited at the top of the driveway and went home. And it was like I was terrified. He like scared the fuck at me. But he's still cool today, he showed me I see him all the time still, But yeah, evil wow.
I personally would have gotten the police.
I wouldn't. I would have called them personally. I would not handle he personally.
I would have beat his ass. I would not have let him talk to me like that like some one.
I used to carpool and like middle school with people who lived in my neighborhood, and I was late every time. It was my bad but whatever. And then one day we were like coming back and I was in the cars making like annoying jokes, and the driver, who was like my neighbor's mom, was like, you know what, kay, Like I really wish you would shut the fuck up, because you're late every morning. You hold everyone up and
like destroyed me, like completely destroyed me. And then she was like, i'm I want you to get out of the car and I want you to walk the rest of the way. And then I walked. But I needed this like I needed it. Like ever since then, I have not been as late to things. I swear together trama, No, it's good, It's really good again.
I would have let her get away with that. I would have been like, you know what, bitch, you get out of the fucking car, and I would have fought her ass.
Right there her hair. I would have splashed hob and yarrow juice on her, like I don't play with that.
I guess, like, actually I didn't hang out with like my friends. I was like in the kind of household that if I hung out with my friends, they would usually come to my house. But I never had any of my friends yell at me. But I had my
godparents who I was really close with their kids. My godfather yelled at me like twice, which I also think I said this on the podcast, but we like I had a really bad habit as a kid that before the car came to a stop, I would open the door and get out, and he would always be like, do not do that. Don't do that. That's dangerous. I don't want to run over your foot. Don't fucking do that. And then one time I did it, and he would like blast music in the car. So I did it
and he slammed the car shut. He slammed the car like to a stop, turned down the music and turned to me and was like, what the fuck did I tell you about doing that? And I was like and he was like, no, We're gonna try this again, and he pulled out of the driveway, went around the block and like had the music blaring again, like he literally recreated the whole scene. And my ass never opened that door too fast ever again I could. I was like,
that was insane. He had never yelled at me, never raised his voice, but he just like went in on me. He was like, and if I fucking broke your foot, then it's my fucking fault, and your dad's gonna beat my fucking ass, Like, don't fuck do that, and like went in on me and then went back around, and then I just never opened the door to.
Sure will change the trajectory of your moral and ethical compass.
Yeah.
When Adele yelled at me, what, I don't even want to talk about it.
Yeah, that seems interesting.
We were just like chilling a bunch, like yeah, she like poured acid towards me. It didn't hit any thankfully.
But there's like certain stories that I want to tell, but I think they would not be taken lightly, so I'm not.
Gonna yeah, yeah, yeah, mm hmm.
When we have nothing to talk about, we're like, let's go down memory lane, Like let's talk about our.
Child had so much ship to talk about. That was just a free flowing, organic conversation, which is really nice. We can talk about how men or nasty and will always cheat? Should we talk about that? Should we get into that?
Sure?
Okay, so a classic classic cheater?
Oh are you saying that because of what we saw yesterday?
I don't even know what you're referencing. I'm talking about something else, but throw it in there.
No, because if anybody's gonna watch Love is Blind, you need to watch.
That's partially that. But no, Stephen fucking Hawking cheating on his wife Riz literally silent robotic riz, Like let's talk about that he has robot RIZ.
But but that motherfucker cheated on his wife and couldn't fucking move, Like he literally couldn't move, and he cheated on his wife with one of his nurses.
Like, if there's one thing you can count on a man doing it, it's gonna be a fucking cheat. Like I can't as.
In the trajectory of any buddy who is like dating a man, like you better believe at some point you're gonna have to talk about the fact that he cheated, Like it's just.
In some capacity. It may not be hooking up, it may not be doing s, but like in some capacity he's gonna look at a woman wrong or something. But like, oh my god, if Stephen Hawking can cheat, any man will cheat, Like just think about that. Also, why was he on Epstein's Island, Like, let's really talk about that. What was he doing there? But anyways, wait, what he was on Epstein's Island? There's pictures of him there.
Yes, I didn't know that.
There's pictures of him there, bro, isn't that crazy.
Any business being there, let alone him? He had no business being there, Like, why are you there, dude? Imagine actually not knowing what's up with Epstein and like being invited to an island.
Like it's like realistically a billionaire flying in.
A billionaire came up to me right now. I was like, you do you want to get on a private check on my island. I've like, oh, yes, and that twenty years from now there's the picture of me like posted it and it's like I did. It turned out to be the fucking killer And I was just like, like all my pictures of Hella outye were like, look how happy she wish she was fully involved?
What's that robot girl? What's that robot girl? Little Michaela, dude, Little Michaela met Epstein. She was on that fucking island. There's a picture of it.
Like, I'd be so pissed because imagine you went and it wasn't even that fun too, and now you're involved, bitch, I'd be pissed.
But there's literally a picture of her and Epstein together, Like this is crazy and it's a print out, so you.
Know it's real, Like, what the fuck, dude, Oh my god, Wow, the idea of you being fosted up with Glenn Maxwell, that's what's worse.
It's like you were probably a little drug. So the photos aren't even good pictures. Yeah, I just posted up. I'd be so pissed. Guys, I didn't know. I just like heard free. I just heard island.
A really hard week working your ass off and then you get this invitation and.
A godsend thank you so much, Like.
You're like, yeah, the trip had kind of weird vibes. People were being a little bit weird.
People would disappear for a few hours, but I just thought they were sleeping, like it.
It was a really big way I left out. They were getting like invited to ship.
Well, I'll leave us with one more thing and then we can get into media and stuff. Is actually the oh that's what I mean, media ship. Yeah, but this one's kind of sweet. But I was just like, I forget where we were. We were at the uh Eaves Tumor show and just like seeing all these people being like, oh, like I was watching when I was like thirteen fourteen, brain rotted. You're a dangerous person. Love you, but if you're still listening, like like I don't know.
I don't know where You're just as crazy as we are.
We're just as crazy as we are. But I was just like looking around and thinking, I was like, damn, dude, we really did like all like kind of grow up together in a way. Like ye, I'm glad like I got to grow up on the internet. And it's just really sweet to just like hear stories of people being like, oh, yeah, like I saw you when I was fourteen and now I'm like graduating nursing school and like, yeah, it's so crazy.
Here's me because like that's like one of those moments where I actually have a concept of time because if like one of you comes up to us and it's like, oh, yeah, I've been watching you since I was like fucking twelve, and now I'm I'm looking at the face of an adult. Like it's like, yeah, I've been watching you since you started on the internet for like ten years ago, and I'm looking at like the face of another I'm just like, how are you ever twelve years old watching my content
like that? Like like I like can't correlate it, and it freaks me out, but in a sweet way because I'm just like, oh my god, that's insane. And then it makes me, uh think about the fact that, like I actually have an effect on people, which I don't want to think about because that scares me. But I'm a good person, so it's okay.
Someone like one there, we met, like this nurse that was just like, oh, like, it's so like, y'all make me feel like less crazy because like y'all are fucking weirdos, and it's just like really sweet. But I forgot who I was talking to about it, but someone Uh, I had the thought, but then I lost.
It when you were talking.
But whatever, it doesn't matter.
Let's move on.
Oh wow, oh wow, that's my fucking move on. Also, that just reminded me of we've literally said on the podcast before, like if you were a doctor and you listen to the shit, I'm fucking scared of you. And then she was like I'm a nurse and I was like, you're crazy. Wow, you're crazy, but love live left Love. She was awesome. Drew sya Corner, Oh my god, welcome to Drew sy on Corner.
So this one's just a classic. You've already seen it. It's like three weeks old. She ate this, let him cook that. Who the fuck is going to be doing the disheski scratching a bug bite feels like evil masturbation.
That's a really good one.
Having a crush gives me the same symptoms of psychosis, like delusions of grande. You're like, really, okay, this one is like a thought that I had that will probably be cut out, But I don't have it written out in drew sy out for him, so I kind of just I go into it a little bit. But how do people with dementia and alzheimers still remember to be racist?
Like literally on their deathbed? Like there's still racist, Like it's so deeply ingrained into their fucking like racist homophobic, Like what the hell?
Like, how is that the one thing that sticks?
Like it?
It makes no sense?
And then like you'll see videos of people like walking down halls with like their dementia or all timered out like mom, and like you're they're walking behind her filming and them Mom is just like you fucking fat pig, Like I fucking hate you? Why you follow me? Freak bitch? Like I fucking hate you, Like, leave me the fuck alone. And then like the girls like, oh my god, like how do how do dementia people remember to be mean? Like I don't know.
Like, yeah, do you remember to just be evil? But maybe that's like a sign that like that person might have just had like a little evil in them that's like always lingered, and like that's just the part of their brain that still works. Like I just don't understand it.
Yeah, it's really crazy. Um do I got anymore? I think that's all I have.
I'm trying to remember I said something in the car that you were like, write that down, but I didn't. I simply didn't, because my funniness just like you have to be there for it, and if you're not there, and then like I don't know what's tucky. You just weren't there, and now you won't believe I'm funny.
Daniel Roseberry from Scaparellia.
Is fine, you writing that down.
I wanted to talk about it, but oh yeah.
You were supposed to show me people you found attractive. And then I was gonna tell you if I like.
Agreed with you, Yeah, we'll do that next episode.
Okay, we'll do it with Josiah. Yeah, Drew said that my taste in What did you say about my tasted men?
I don't remember exactly, but it's just really like bizarre.
Like I feel like you could probably like if we put like five people up. I feel like if you put five women up, I think you would easily be able to choose who I thought was attractive. But for men, it's just so obscure.
It's like that's the yeah, Like her attraction is just very obscure, Like it's like down to the minute detail, like the nosebridge. Like I've noticed like every single man you're like, oh, he's fine, has like the exact same like bump in their nose.
I'm like, and yeah, o oh hello, no, oh hell.
No, fuck I suck at it.
My name is Carmen Winston.
My name is Carmen Winstead.
I'm seventeen years old. I'm very similar to you. Did I have dad? When I was seventeen years old, three girls pushed me down a well. I got stuck down there. Send this chain email to twenty five of your friends or she'll come and kill you.
My name is Drew Phillips.
Ah, all right, idea of the week. We need to have Anthony. No, we need way where we need to have a low Anthony to record us one of those.
Do you think he would? I bet if we paid him he would.
Hell, you don't think if we paid him? There pictures of him that came out and I was like, oh my god, that is a straight man like. But then there were some pictures that I saw that I was like, there's a little gay in him, Like he's he really is a little gay and he's just repressing that ship. He's like, Scared Straight. We need to start a show called Scared Straight where it is gay people conversion therapy.
Oh. I don't think we need to though, So that's crazy. Uh fuck, I forgot what I was gonna say.
Renegade, renegade, renegade. Oh so when I talk, it's a little about our little I was gonna start rapping. Yeah, I've been wrapping up on recently rap album coming soon.
My media of the week is what did we watch?
Oh?
We watched the Second Exorcist. They made a movie about me and Oriyan. The second literally about me and Orian in our wing bots.
Literally before you've had your coffee in the morning.
That's literally a joke Drew made while we were watching.
It, And I said, the wingbot joke.
He said the wingbot joke at the same time. Did o Ryan tell you that? You whispered it to Oriyan and I a second later said it and she goes Drew literally just said that to me. So we had the same joke at the same time. Loaded up.
Well, no, I said it first, So.
Okay, Well, I'm speaking from personal experience, so.
Like bitch me too.
But yeah, that's the only movie I.
Would throw your wing bet away. I'm gonna be.
Honest, Why oh have you been using it?
I put it on my butthole yeast infectioned my stink butt.
B B time. My media of the week is I think I already said this The Abandoned Luncheonette album by Daryl Hall and John Oates, and I'm still listening to I Want You Like That album by Marvin Gaye and oh my god, the Troy song what is It one of Your Girls?
That song is so good.
Yeah, I've been listening to that one a lot.
Look at you, look at you.
Look at you, look at me? One of your girls by choice.
Von look around the room. It's a fine day. Opis three. Still listening to the one on Tricks Point Never album still listening to your boujin and Boards of Canada. I don't have any specific songs to give y'all other than Opus three. I will say it's a fine day. Opus three is quite literally the best song ever made. Like, are you certain you better not be serving count while I'm talking to you?
You're not doing your media of the week while I'm serving cut in front of the camera.
When I get that, better not be serving count?
Why did that joke come back up? Like I think you said it first, you said it's.
I've just been saying it randomly, and then you'd like say it back to me, and then I say it back to you, and we say it four times in a row.
It's the same thing as when we see something we're like, okay me when I'm and then we just describe what we're looking at it. I think because we were.
In there when I'm a hydroflask with a du we were in the.
Who was that?
All?
Right? Well, thank you guys for watching somebody. I saw somebody be like the way and you cuts the podcast off every time scares the funk out of me because I'm like, all right, guys.
By like literally, but we watched the Exorcists and forty X, and that movie would have been terrible if it didn't have forty X.
Every movie should be in forty X. It's so fucking funny.
Like This New World. Yeah, it literally is.
The theme part. But yeah, I literally have nothing else to say, so fuck you boy
M