We Ran Away To Mexico

Welcome to this episo the Americans intercom.

I don't know have word? Do you want to let the people know where we are?

I don't know where we are.

We are in no Teposlan. I always say it wrong. I say different every single time. We're in tepos Lan, Mexico. Right now, I needed to say it with all the accents because I know one of you bitches would say something dirty about me if I didn't. Yeah, we just run away because we feel like American people don't understand.

Us, like they don't get us, never have, never will. I've found my people. Literally, Christopher Colomb on my Colonizer Vibe.

Drew didn't say that I come here.

No. I saw a plot of land about an hour outside of Mexico City, and I was like, I'm going to buy that plot of land and make Drew Topia.

The thing is Kai just knocked into the camera, but that's okay, we'll just ignore it.

Kai gets a pass because I've been too mean to him this trip.

So I actually mean to Kai.

Also away before we pass over.

We're literally less than a minute into this episode and you're already talking about colonizing Mexico.

Like literally, it's in my fucking blood, it's in my DNA. I literally can't help and I'm sorry.

I just want to openly admit to the public and apologize to the public because I feel so evil. I was really mean to Kay yesterday because I was just to be fair. I've been mean to Elisa too. I've just not been a nice girl.

It's been a rough trip for you, you know.

Thank you for validating me.

You for validating You've just been our translator the whole time. It's just been.

I've been I've been serving Mommy.

There shooting.

Oh what was that? Was it a firework?

It was a salute? But yeah, we what time is it? It probably marked the hour? Yeah, okay at five four every day and type astan it bombs. Okay. Wait.

Actually, I'm like all over the place because I'm very like overwhelmed, and I have had half a margarita and I had to stop myself for the other half because I was like, I'm gonna be belliterately d on the.

Podcast, and I was like, which might be fun.

I already just slip up and say I don't say bad things, but I already say.

Things where I'm like I should not have said that I shouldn't be saying.

That's the public.

But to explain why we're in Mexico. We are in we are staying in Mexico City. But Jesture is a fucking freak of nature.

Somehow convinced us to cross the border.

Yeah, somehow convinced.

Us to another country for their birthday.

Which was over a week ago.

So there's like, so their birthday was a week ago and we're still celebrating it here. But I love it here.

Yeah, it really is amazing.

For those of you who don't know, I'm Honduran and I haven't been to Hondura since I was literally a little baby.

I think.

I don't think I've been back since I was seven.

And this is the closest thing I could get to it because my family has fear mongered me to stay out of Honduras.

But yeah, this place is beautiful. I've literally been here for twenty four hours and I leave tomorrow. I flew in Inya, Lisa and Jester shopped all day and I followed them around with Kai all day long and then we kind of are leaving the next day, like we we Oh, this is the this is the craziest part is. We planned on getting here Hella early, this area. We wanted to shop around, We wanted to have a blast of the time. We wanted have a good time, Like

No, to be fair, it was an extra hour past where we were supposed to be. So I didn't get us two hours away from where we were supposed to be because it only took thirty minutes to get here.

So technically, how much time did I really waste? Like an hour?

Yeah, like an hour and a half?

Like maybe not even though, no, because there were still traffic to get out of the city. But basically I fucked up very hard, and now I don't get to go through the markets like I wanted to because my one my one wish was to come and get a nice rosary, because I have been looking to report.

No, there's a body in there. You see is a hotel.

Your body's about to be in here if you don't shut the fuck up. Oh my gosh, but yeah, I fucked up and I was so mad. I've just been so fucking irritable this trip. Like we don't even to talk about because we were like, let's talk about the trip, but the trip like it feels like we've been here for.

Ever, not even for me. It feels like I've been here for eight minutes total because I've been yelled at the entire time.

You know what it was?

Okay, I've never had to like go anywhere into Spanish speaking territory and had to like translate for people.

And I know one of you bitches is gonna be like, oh, but like.

Talk Spanish now, we want to hear how your Spanish is, no, because you're gonna fucking bully me.

Fuck you. My Spanish is my my mom only.

Speaks Spanish and all of my family only speaks Spanish, but my dad speaks English. So I grew up speaking English and Spanish. And obviously my English is slay tonic. Like I'm I make up slay Tonic, I make up new words in English.

Yeah that's true.

I can't do that for Spanish.

Pool.

So yeah, I've been translating for these dumb fogs. And I didn't I didn't know it would be hard work, you know.

Yeah, you've been saying that you're not ready for children. Yeah, just the sheer amount of questions and pointing to things and asking for what it means, like not okay.

It's just too many questions like which I was thinking. I was like, damn, I never want to go anywhere where, Like I'm burdening somebody with the language.

Barrier, Like does that make sense?

Like, but I don't know any other country that are No one in our group speaks any other language, Like, it's not like anybody in the group speaks like French or anything.

Been undu a lingo practicing Swahili.

So you drew in twenty eighteen. In twenty and.

Eighty four years ago, he tried to learn Swahili for literally three days on dual lingo and he brings it up twice a month.

Like he I'm just better than that.

Than everybody us a little bit of it. No, why not?

I don't know. I just feel like we're in Mexico.

So you shouldn't like mix. Yeah, but you're here, so we're already mixing. What's been your favorite part. Oh, Drew went out without me last night because he hates making everyone.

No, not everyone one was mad at you. You were mad at everybody else. And this complainer my tummy hoyded. She got a tummy ache and took it out on everybody else. And me and Ki were begging you all to come with us. We were literally begging you.

Tokay, like I just need some pizza in my hole and then I'm a nice girl and I'll do a little dance.

But if I'm hungry. You don't want to see me when I'm hungry and without a coffee.

So tell us about the night, like what we would you get up to? Like was it the most fun you've ever had? Because you didn't have like your friend?

It was absolutely a fucking blast. It was the night to remember. I think of the entire trip, I don't think it actually got any better than that moment.

But it'll get better tonight because everyone in the crew is gonna get Really.

I really don't think that's gonna happen. I think I think last night was peak right.

Except you know, okay, yeah, maybe it won't beat it because I will say, like I know, I offered sex. But you know when we were coming across the border and you had to like declare things, they like looked down and they were like, oh that big, that big, that big as cooochi has to declare those hooters.

Yeah, my hooters and kuci.

And when I was crossing, they like they like weighed and they were like, oh, it's too heavy and volumptuous, and like I.

Get that all the time on the airplane.

They were like, oh, why is it so wet?

Is do you have like an alcohol or substance you're trying to like bring over And I was like no, no, no, no, no, like that's just me, that's just my body part. Like I can't really stop it. And they did make me leave my kuchi in the US.

Damn. They did the same thing to me with my heavy wieners, with your big boner. Yeah, you know how they weigh the bags. Yeah, well, like I Well, what they don't tell you is that the three D scan chamber is the radiation den as I call it. They give you insane amounts of radiation is also a scale for male genitalia wieners. And I, unfortunately this time, for some reason, did not pass and I almost didn't make it.

It's not because you stuffed it. You wanted it to seem heavier, because I don't believe you. How can you get on a plane anywhere else but you didn't get to come to Mexico with your big wiener, with your big honkin win.

I've been trying to have sex the entire time i've been here.

All of y'all are fucking fake. All of y'all. I'm trying a bone on the bone bone. Oh my god, Kai Kai is so horny.

He literally somehow put holograms in our head of a woman and she didn't exist.

I'm oh, I forgot about that literally hallucination mass hallucination event. We went to this like bar restaurant thing called Gingin. It was a classic. That's a certified Mexico City classic. Next time you hear it, go because the drinks are literally insane. Maybe it was something in the hookah. Also, like they literally probably dosed us with fucking hallucinogens in our hookah.

I was the most foreigner shit you've ever said. Maybe there's something in the hookah.

I was chiefing that houkah all night. Fuck.

Oh okay, no, actually we got we ordered a hookah thing, which I don't fuck with hookah. I think it's like funny, but we ordered and tell me why, Kay and Drew hit the fucking tip raw like they were.

Putting on replacement tips for every table obviously because it's like wood, and I don't think you can necessarily disinfect wood very well and literally your fiend, because the second they put in your hand, you fucking suck the shit out of it. Looks the waiter looked at us like we were literally on map.

He ran across the restaurant because it was like hold the fuck on, like chill freakazoids.

So yeah, So we went to this like hookah bar, like alcohol bar, whatever, and Kai was like like oddly like silent.

So I was sitting next to him, and there was a table behind us or behind me, and apparently there is this girl looking at Kai constantly like they would like lock eyes or whatever. And I was like, yeah, yeah, right, like that's not happening. You're making this up, like this is a hallucination. You need help. So I moved spots and I switched over, and I did see love in the air. There was a connection there.

I'm convinced she was literally jerking the boy off next to her because her hand was under the table for way too long.

That was not a straight man.

That was not a shame told it was like three girls with three guys.

Yeah, I don't think it was a straight man. But they they were locking eyes like crazy. It was actually kind of beautiful to see. A couple of times. I was like, wow, like Kai may find love. Actually, you know, it wasn't real. None of it happened this.

I come back to the table, I'm like, why did you move to Drew?

And Drew literally said to me, he was like, Kai said this girl look at him.

But I haven't seen her look over here once. So then we are cracking up and whatever. We get the bill, we leave, and Kai's like, get the spazzing. He's like, I.

Should have went and said something to her. I should want and said something to her. And all of us were like pretty drunk. So I was like, okay, do you have a pen, like, just go get like. Kuy was like, I'm gonna give her my number, but I don't have a pen. I was like, I'll get us a pen. So I went back into the restaurant. I went to the hostess and explained, and I was like, do you have a pen because my friend wants to give someone his number, so I won't take your pen.

I follow it in there as Intel. I was back up first intel, second to see if he actually did it. And we went in and literally she was gone. She vanished into thin fucking air, like it wasn't even like she was there, like her chair was pushed in, there was no jacket in the chair like it was literally like she never exact.

You know what it was. She was scared of ship.

She was the pink man. The pink Man wants me the killer, the pink killer.

Killer is here.

She didn't see loved.

She was like, oh my god, this scary white dude is literally going to chase after.

Me, us following it, not us seeing if the bat if. She was up in the bathroom area, like we read up.

She was literally in the stall, shaking for a fucking life. She's like coming here, He's she felt the way we did that home alone game.

Literally, she felt like she was paying a horror game stimulator.

But I come in, Kai on going back in there and being brave enough to speak to a woman because I'm scared of women and so car breath audio technician. Is everything good? Alright? Cool? Yep.

I don't know if y'all heard it, but Kai just considered what we did exposure therapy.

That's what this podcast is.

Anytime we go out, it's exposure therapy. I think, not me.

I'm literally living, laughing, loving, I'm fucking slaying the world here.

I spoke to a man from Amsterdam last night who is staying in a hostel and was his hospital hostile and his four friends that he was with disappeared. Apparently. He was like there, I don't know where they went. And I was like, can you describe them? And he was like tall man with a beard, and I was like, so sexy, and then he.

You're literally hornier than ever. You start sniffing. You're like you asked for his hand? You like, when's the last time you touched him, he's like maybe five minutes ago, and you.

Smell the hands to him. And then I was like, why don't you go like look for him inside, and because he was outside, and he was like, I don't know. Like I was walking downstairs to go look and I knocked a glass and it exploded and then this like Brazilian girl came up to me and gave me mollie, and so I took the molly and I'm also like, on.

SA word, I.

Don't know if I'm allowed to say any of this shit coke. And then he was like, but like it's okay because like when I get home to the airbnb, I'm gonna take value him to go to sleep. And I was like, you need to fucking chill, is what you need to do. You need to leave. He didn't.

And when he didn't have friends, he does have a hostel. He's hallucinating.

It was actually horrifying. The way he was behaving is very erratic. And then a more conversation happened. Some things that I don't want to talk about happened on the podcast, and we went back down there to see if we could find his homies for him. Uh, we like went in and followed him in, and he like freaked out, like he tweaked out. He was like, I can't go in there. I can't go in there. We were like why dude, and he was like, I just can't. I can't, can't.

Well, I got asked to do a wire transfer.

When I told someone I didn't have any cash, A man tried to sing to me, and I told him to stop because I didn't have any more because I had just bought cash. I just bought chocolates off the sweetest kids in the fucking world. And then I told him I did have any more cash, and he literally looked me down as and said, I take transfer, like I take wire transfer.

That was insane.

It was it was pretty okay.

It is fireworks though I.

Saw it me as if it was gonna be any.

Okay, time what time is it now? Your mama know what time is it on your phone? See? Okay, that might and that was six explosions for six o'clock. See, I might be a fucking genius. My IQ is.

I don't know if that's how that works. I think people are just having fun. That did scare the living ball sacks out of me. Also, it's just so beautiful here.

Fucking pretty. I hope the cameras picking it up.

I honestly feel very disruptive by being here and talking about cocking balls on top of like this roof. Also, we asked somebody if we could sit on the roof of a hotel, so that's where we are. We're not staying at this hotel. We just asked him and he let us, honestly, probably because I'm really suxy.

Yeah you know what it is.

Also, I don't get hit on in LA, and I get hit on and looked at here, and I'm like.

I get cat called here too.

We were walking out of Gingin a man just looked at me and the eyes that OI MoU hid and like yelled at in my face. And usually I'd be really fucking annoyed, but I was feeling myself and I was like, yes, I am woman, I.

Am woman, a woman and uh and sexy im divine also, I like, I hope nothing I'm saying sounds like very like ignorant and annoying of me.

But I have been so terrified of getting the kakas from the water here. It's like the one thing.

On my mind.

Like everywhere I go, I'm like, don't please, don't give me ice, Please don't give me a cup of water. I didn't tell you this, but I did accidentally swish water around in my mouth when I was catching my teeth. Because but that was the first night, and that's why I think my stomach hurts so bad yesterday, because I did have rumby guts like I have it before, Like it was a usual stomach ache where I'm like bloated and something hurt. But my fucking cold lens we're literally vibrating.

Yes, we got it.

Do you think I should get a vibrator around here?

A little wing bot, a little Wingbot Junior, a little turkey wing What else can we talk about? Like? This ship's boring, this podcast is fucking boring. It's taking time out of my fucking day.

Driving here is also pretty crazy. It's fucking awesome. I have so much fun doing it. But the merging is like.

Comical to me.

Like again, I hope nothing I like. I don't know if it's like ignorant. Definitely is just culture.

But like the driving was cracking me up, like we were.

There's just no lanes in the road.

Yeah, some of the roads literally have zero lanes, and you have to you have to be an aggressor here, which I am because I fear no fucking man. I've said it once, I say it again, like only I can take me out for.

Thirty six thousand times you can.

I'm just letting the world know, like y'all be manifesting like good health, and like Sleigh, I'm manifesting that I would be the one to.

Take me out.

I'm almost in my physical fighting era, Like I'm almost to the point where like I want to get in a brawl, like a physical problem.

What's pushing you there?

I don't know. I just like felt I'm rubbing off on you, like low key, like I'm just feeling like I need to be in a fight and have my ass beat and be humbled at the end of the day.

See, that's that's where we're different, because I don't want to be humbled.

I want to beat the shit out of someone. But I would.

I do think some like blunt force trauma to the head would help me a little bit.

Like I've thought about that.

I'm like, I need a bit of like a dome reset, like where like it feels like like a nuke went off in my brain or like a flashbang from Call of duty.

Like that's kind of the feeling I want in my brain a little.

Wait the way, I'm not even joking. Last night we hung out with Belahadide. No, we hung out with the Spanish dub cast of Euphoria. They were all there. They were all there, and we hung out with all of them.

How'd you find that out?

Like did they just like they brought it up?

Really?

Yeah, I would ride that shit too.

Wait, the whole the whole cast, the Spanish does. So it was like thirteen like of a crew.

It was not rolling thirteen deep. It was like three people.

So who was it?

Like?

Rue?

See it's not for the fucking minutes, dumb boy.

I am woman, but you're not like going deeper on that, Like, what do you mean did they like how did they prove that?

Like, how did like I don't want to show themselves in the recording booths?

They showed that they could have been in any single recording booth on planet Earth?

Did it have like euphoria water marks on it?

They showed them reading what's his name? George Jacob Alardi's.

Lines, but you could find those on the internet.

Now, okay, well did they wait?

Did they show you the episode that's coming?

They were like fifty pesos for a photo and we gave them the money and took pictures with them.

You got scammed?

No, we got pictures with thick cast of euphoria.

No, I think you got scammed? Rude, Like, there's no can I see the picture?

Getting scammed?

I see the picture? Did they also take it on their phone?

Me getting scammed? Yeah? Right? Is there?

Are you actually about just to show me a photo?

Where is it?

Kai is laughing really hard? So like is this a planned bit? Yeah?

That's literally me and euphoria cast am I wrong?

No, you're literally showing like early signs of Alzheimer's right now. I don't know what you want me to say to that like I need that on screen.

Some people know that I'm not being a kai. I just don't know what to say to that. You know what's really annoying is maybe I should have gotten drunk.

Wait, wait, how does it go? I know?

Wait, you're really fucking bad.

I'm a little nasally like ton am I was? No, I'm singing in my head voice and I don't have a head voice. I can sing in my chest. No, let's hear let's hear it, like, yeah, see that was good, fuck me man you song?

Because I can't get my cr.

But we did go to this really cool club that just had a bunch of people dancing.

And I know, I will say, I am really jealous, like we have to go out tonight because I just ruined.

But we do have an event to go to tonight. It's called pervert dress code. It's called pervert dress code. Is bondage? Are you? Are you trollinging? It's bondage recommended but not required. But I think we go to a sex shop all dressed up in bondage. We get really close in person with each other, really like explore each other's bodies and see us for each other's bodies.

I can see who you are without touching you.

You also stink you have a shower like you're literally went out last night and didn't fucking shower, and then the car today.

Was like every now and then, I'm gonna run and Gabbage and all of us are like, we don't smell that. You're smelling yourself.

No, there's there's like a scent of sour crap following me everywhere I go. And it's not my ball.

You're fucking upper lip in your balls.

I swear to God kind knows what I'm talking about.

No, I think Kai might have smelled you last night. No, see, but did you smell it in the car?

It was drue. It's still true.

Do you like the smell kind of.

Yeah, that's what you just showed me.

They were having the most human experience I've ever seen in my entire life. It was it was pure what is the word like pure pure euphoria. It was like pure like innocence, like really just the only way I can describe it is just like humans exactly.

Expression of happiness and celebration.

It was beautiful, the least pretentious celebration of happiness.

Why are you repeating? I think he was heard.

He's eighteen miles away. You need to know.

You need to let our white men have his voice heard. Your white men.

No, we fucking don't do not snap. We do not need another white voice. Look at you. Yeah, I am the white voice in this podcast.

I will I am also the white voice.

I'm the female white voice. You're the male white voice. We need to be heard. I need to be seen. I need to be loved.

I need to be fondled with a little bit like my.

I see the type of person that you. I see the type of person that you are, and.

You're looking through me. I feel bad. This episode isn't really I don't know what we've talked about. We're literally just talking.

I think it's a miracle that we even got this spot because, like I said, growing up, so fucking.

Why, Alisa, do you think ALSA will be bad if I say what happened, if anything.

Will cut out?

Yeah, it's not even that big of a deal.

Okay, So I feel bad because no, this is the second episode in a in a row where I'm airing a Lisa's shit out, like and she listens to these literally at least.

M saying like I don't care that you choose loud.

No, she got a comment someone publicly was like, you're so hot. I don't care if you choo loud as fuck like, and she she hasn't watched that episode yet, so she was like, what is that?

Why are they saying that to me?

But I'm gonna air her out again because that's my girl, and that's what I do, even though I've been so mean to her. She was, She's been asking me a lot of questions because her phone's been broken, and I.

Feel so bad.

I literally like, she'll ask me something and then at this point I just be lying and saying exactly what she like doesn't want to hear like.

She was like, what's she asked?

Oh?

She asked if we were going one hundred and forty miles.

No, the fucking rinkydt ass car, fucking gadget, baby clown pioso, fucking car we have does not go one hundred and forty miles can start shaking when we hit forty miles.

Are not forty kilometers an hour or per meter. I don't know what.

I don't know what the fucking thing is here, Like, I don't understand it. But on the dash, you said one forty. I was like, I need to slow down because the speed limit is ninety and I'm doing one eighty or one forty, and she was like, are.

We actually going We're not going light speed right now at least to know.

I got like upset.

That's that's just literally the smartest person I know. I know she asked that.

So I got upset and I was like, yeah, actually, we're going one forty.

I'm gonna see I one sixty. Like I just like start answering.

Her like that. That's how I answer you. And you You're like, should we be walking in the middle of the road where there's a car trying to go? And I'm like, yeah, like I think we should be. It's like really fun.

And sometimes I say and said it like because I don't want to be like get out of the row.

Yeah, So I say it because I don't want anybody to feel like I'm bossing them around, specifically men.

Yeah, because I do have a problem with female authority.

No, you have a problem with authority period, but specifically with me because it's on some brother sister shit and you don't want to do for me and I'm boss baby, I am baby.

You're giving pizza Bay boss Baby.

I am. I'm giving pizza boss baby.

Pizza baby boss baby with a mustache tattoo on their finger.

I'm giving.

I'm giving like Galaxy type everybody does.

Nobody wants to make a decision because nobody wants to say what they want. So then I just make the decision, and then I feel like some people are mad at me, so then I get mad at everyone else.

Oh sorry, I don't think ow. I literally distressed myself way too fucking hard. That literally hurts so bad.

Speak I don't even.

Remember what I because I was talking about making decisions and people being mad at me.

What decision did you make that people are mad at you?

No, just in general, I'll be like, we're doing this, We're doing this, go here, then we do this.

I think people, I mean personally, I like being told where to go and where to be, but like, yeah, I don't know. I literally was just like I don't have a problem with authority, and now I'm like, please boss me around. See I'm a walking conundrum.

We need to get you know what we should get here?

Cram it all from the pharmacy. Yet no, we shouldn't, we should.

Should we do that yeah game, saying that I don't know what that is.

You don't want to know.

Oh, oh, you should grow up because it's actually really gross that you want those things.

Oh, I would never.

Be airing Alisa house. So Alisa is allergic to alcohol.

But we all went out to drink and she had a drink and then she had another one, and like she usually gets like red and like like very hot and like has an allergic reaction to it, but she wasn't, so she was like, fuck it, I'm gonna keep going. But the drinks were like getting us all like drunk, as alcohol does, and she got really really drunk and like.

Literally was stumbling in the streets of Mexico City.

It was crazy. I've never seen her drunk.

Yeah, I've never seen her drunk either.

And then we got back to the crib and I remember, right before we went to sleep, me and Lisa are sharing a room. Right before we went to sleep, was like, oh, I'm really worried that I wake up with a headache tomorrow. And then like I'm like I feel sick and I don't want to go out and like goes like shopping and stuff, and I was like, girl, if anything you'll wake up with a little headache from a like small hangover, will pop a fucking Croissan.

In your ass, and you'll keep it pushing. The thing is, every time I speak, Drew like sings over me.

It's no, it's like beautiful background vocals, like it's adding to the story. It literally is you have a defunct in your.

Brain where you need attention on you all waking up.

No, it's literally not even that.

I guess this is.

This was literally at least it's euphorium exactly.

So she got all fucked up. We went to a rave. It was fucking awesome. She was like, but she was like shaking before you and I just went to sleep and I woke up.

Also for more contacts, you're so annoyed your for more contexts our bathroom there's a window in it and every time you close the door, it slams the window.

And I like just kept hearing that.

And I heard Alisa walking back invoys in the room to run it back to the bathroom, and I just woke up at like five and it sounded like she had shoes on.

Oh my god, I forgot literally, I you like actually traumatized me.

Okay, let me finish, let.

Me get there, and then you can tell that part. So I like just woke up and I was like, are you wearing shoes? Like inside right now.

I know it's annoying for me to interrupt, but actually, like just look behind you at the mountains. It's like, legitimately the most beautiful thing I've ever seen in my entire life. Like that over there does not look real.

It's literally you say that, but you're sitting right in front of me.

I that was like God saying run away from you.

It was it was it was God trying to fear you from the love I have to give you. But and now I forgot what I was fucking saying.

Alisa in the bathroom, Oh yeah.

She was literally I woke up, but I was like, are you wearing shoes? And she was like no, I feel really sick.

And I like open my eyes and look and she's like basic borderline.

Button naked shaking like part of shit. Also for more context, is like I have this.

I have this too, but like I I'm very sure at least has it worse than me. Like a fear of throwing up and like hearing people throw up. So I thought she was shaking from like being so scared to throw up, and I felt so bad, and I like called.

Drew the worst meal. It was fucking delious, Like it was the most delicious thing I've ever put in my fucking hole in my life.

Like, oh, wit, this is what you was looking at. It's plate of beans and eggs.

It was delicious, but it's so funny.

Looking anyway, okay, And then I called Drew.

I really can't live in the moment, can.

I are you looking back really yesterday being like that was a dream, that was such a good day.

I wish today was that good. I wish I could experience yesterday today.

Okay, So I call you because also the place we're staying in the room separated, like you have to go outside and then like go to other rooms. So I was calling Drew to ask for help.

And this was what was at four thirty in the morning.

No, this was like five am.

It was the scariest moment of my life, Like I get a call from ya, and it also is for some reason, my phone vibrated, which I don't know why it was vibrating. I had the ringer on and it was such a weird vibrate that Like I'm in a bunk bed and my phone somehow got on the wood floor and it literally vibrated my entire fucking bed and my whole and it was like so fucking scary. Though yeah, no, it like stimulated me. And I woke up and I was already having a nightmare. I do not remember the

My side, I also hear nothing, but I'm saying nothing anyway. It's like I'm just like I I called it. I called him to wake him up because I texted him. I was like, he's definitely dead asleep.

A call will wake him up, and that's why I called him. So I'm a fucking genius and it worked.

But I'm like hello, and I'm fuck it, and I say hello even again, like even more angry, and I'm like, why the fuck is she not answering? And then in my like sleep deprived like like half awake, half asleep brain, I was like, oh my god, and you got like taken in like this is her like last like moments, like like her last row to get like her location

I was just trying to see if we could go get her anti nausea medicine.

Because I felt I was not getting out of that fucking bed like you could not have confised. I kept telling it.

I was like, what do you feel?

And she was basically just saying what you feel when you have too much alcohol. And in my head I was like, I know what she needs is to like throw up and then get a good meal in the morning and water. So I went and got water from Drew and gave her water and I was like, I'll give it five minutes because I know, damn well, I'm gonna go get in that fucking car to drive the twenty five minutes. So the only pharmacy open, and she's gonna throw up while I'm gone, and.

I'm gonna throw up what I'm gone.

I just watch your hubble back and forth when I'm shaking. And then she ended up throwing up, but she felt fine and I went back to sleep. I had a really horny dream, but then I woke up and it was my reality. No, I had a really sad dream last night.

Dude. I had a fucked up dream and I explained it to Kai, and Kai literally had zero reaction to it, and I was like, fuck you.

Oh, I think I told him that's because he's in his time. He's heard a lot of dreams.

Drake literally was in my dream like one he was like hitting on me. It was like he was like in love with me. Following PTSD written dream No, it was like sexy hot like Drake.

But you had I thought you had sex with Drake.

I did. That's why I'm saying I'm dreaming. Oh yeah, it was like good. And then he was like filming me on like a video tape recorder. And then there was like a hole in the ground. Oh my god. I literally almost pissed myself in my dream, Like, well, I did pee in my dream, but I.

Had you see a toilet.

Use that motherfucker in the dream And it was like a urinal like this big on the ground and I had to like lift up a piece of carpet because it was also surrounded by carpet, and I missed a little and pissed into the carpet, and I like, he didn't started peeing in the hole, and I was like then, I like I don't even know, Like my reality brain was like wait, like we're pissing in a dream right now, we need to wake up. So I woke up, and yeah, that's my life.

I had a dream that I was dating someone and that they we're being really mean to me, and it scared me. And I woke up and I was.

Like, that's all I have. That's the only context I'll give. That made you really horny?

Did you say U?

All right?

Well?

How much time are we at? Kai? Oh? My god? Literally times. It's like the kilometers the pesos to usd kilometers to miles are slower.

Here I'm gonna talk on Drew.

Technically, we're three years old on Saturn, right.

There's no way your mom didn't do math with you in her summer.

There's like, actually no way.

Where did the fuck did that come from? I really want to know. I know, like the conversation we had about it in the car that was Kai's like bar I think I don't even remember anymore. I don't even like literally, we're all we all are miners on Saturn if you think about like the orbit of it around the sun, like we are all miners. The thing is I like, actually, I literally am a minor topy right now. I am a miner. Like I'm turning sixteen in March. I keep forgetting that.

Only fifteen, guys, I'm literally only fifteen.

I'm so traveled for a fifteen year old. Yeah, you're fucking NEURODIVERGENTI.

In Kai's dream.

Okay. The only note I have already talked about being in Los Angeles, Don Encandre, I was.

Trying to tell you how to translate things.

I'm trying to think of anything else that's happened on this trip, but that's kind of been it. I've just found out that I'm like sexy as fuck here.

That's a lie.

I literally haven't been hit on like that, which is like, really sad because I.

Am very sexy.

You no, I get hit on.

You know what it is? It's because I'm with y'all.

It's probably because I'm with Jester and people think me and Jester are like dating Sleigh.

That's a lie. That is not the fact. That is not the fact of the matter.

That's actually Jester is my long lost cousin.

That's my mem No, that that's my dream.

We've it's so funny.

At the table also for context, Jester is our non binary homie, and we were sitting at the table and Jester kept like saying who we all were to them, so they were like, it's.

Pointed to me.

It was like Edmana and like pointed to at least it was like me ha and drew like Mi was like, Papa, it's just like Papa. And then like the waiter came with the horchat and was like, who's this? He like Papa and like pointed to Kai and then drew trying to do the same thing and pointed to be hot and then pointed me, because how do you get I don't know how to get around that. If anybody has any tips.

Any tips me?

So pretty out here, I'm about to pull my fucking couci out, Like what should I give my Should I pull my Couchio?

Give her a look, her look she.

Wants to see.

Oh my god, I'm wearing Abercombie and this is gross. I'm wearing Abercombie and Fitch shorts and my big fucking Papaya is like pushing like I feel like I'm crowning.

I'm literally my COUCHI is.

Crowning the inside.

I know my COUCHI is like grabbing all the fabric and sucking it up like a little vortex.

But that's enough about my kuci. Oh, Also, I woke give it update.

I don't have a ut I I don't know what was up with my Kuchi, but like for two days, like it was she was just not like not on her best behavior.

You one, I think you said that for too.

No, I did not. There's no way I said that. I probably said it. No, go ahead, say no, I said it in public. I didn't say it on the well this is public. I didn't say it on the podcast.

No go go for it.

No no, no, no, no, it's not even my joke.

No, but say it a thirty second say it.

What if Elon Musk is an alien trying to get back to his home planet, She's gonna impale me on these fucking spikes and she put my head on.

It, Like I can't believe the things like you only get so many words in your lifetime to say, and the ones you choose to put out are insane.

Are the best fucking words ever, a point blank period, the best words? I don't know, there's no competition. Don't do that. You're gonna fuck up the MiGs. I mean, I like, I am freaking the fuck out because I am literally withdrawing from alcohol, like no alcohol here. Like they see me and they're like, Okay, you're a little too drunk. We're gonna give you reverse alcohol, and they give you a shot of like something that absorbed that

I we'll say whatever was in our drinks yesterday, I had half of mine and I was like, no.

You know.

Also, I realized because when we were at lunch just now and I had.

Half my margarita.

This is gonna sound so stupid and obvious, because alcohol is technically it dehydrates you. But that's why my contacts were getting so fucking dry was because I was drinking that margarita.

My contacts were already dry when I got to the table.

So I just kept drinking and like being like, oh, if I get past the sleepy stages, like.

I'll get drunk and I can go out.

But as I kept drinking, my contacts just kept drying and drying and drying. And that's what I just figured out, is that the things you put in your body do have effects.

With Wiener.

Penis penis colada, penis penis kulo.

Please, oh I'm piso.

Please that's good. That's not good, please, person.

That doesn't that means nipple?

Like you we already w No, I know, I just like saying it.

Okay, Well, I think that's it for this episode because we literally have nothing else to talk about.

We are so brain dead.

No no media this week, Sorry guys, no media.

I've just been off my because I've been living life.

I have also been off my phone. I'm gonna give y'all.

I want to stand up to go get my phone, but my whole coochie will be out because I definitely have a big fat cammelto right.

Okay, how do you say the new Echo?

Why are you looking? Oh?

My god? K was no, he didn't know he was. And miss Campbell.

What was the other thing? Oh?

When I was sitting on the couch and he looked at my butt and he was like, you're gonna fart on me.

Hole? Right? He did it.

Wants to get eye contact with my holes.

It's crazy.

Actually, the looking hole, that's what.

Threw through the looking glass.

Can you give me my phone from over there?

Okay, Well, I am going to say I already said all this song, the New Blade and Echo song is really sick? Amy?

Is that the one that got.

Honey? I want.

Today?

Kyle lied to me and when we were at the airport because we were at the airport alone together for a minutecause y'all have to, like, I to go somewhere else to jump my.

Back, and he came with me.

Yes during TSA, they had to pat him down and I was like, no, I'll do it, and I did pat Ky, Wow, but your mom.

I put a bunch of pain colors killers into my brothers soup when I was fourteen years old, and he was overcond.

I'm gonna end my life. The fucking the reservation Finn got me. He got it on February fifth instead of March fifth, So I just got a text for Corbone and saying running an hour late.

OI, that's awful. But the new Blade song is really nice by Sierra. It's really nice. That's what Ky told me.

Kai was like he had a new shirt on it.

I was like, oh my god, finally like new shirts, Like did you bring new shirts?

And he lied to me and he said he had new shirts for every day here.

Oh yeah. He was like I got a new fit every fucking Oh my god, man, this she's so beautiful. I just can't know it.

It's making me really horny. It's fucking beautiful out here my songs of the week. I think I already said this in the last episode.

I didn't even finish.

Oh my god, you he had so long it might your.

Baby, no, because you literally over you talked over me for like thirty fucking minutes. Just now.

How does it feel?

It does not you literally talk over me every time I speak literally.

When I spuck you bitch, when I speak you're.

Literally is like, but it adds to the ambience like yours, Yeah, cuts me off viciously.

Yours confuses me and makes it hard for me to focus.

This is a romanting.

I'm not kidding. I'm staying in Mexico. I'm not going back to La find someone else to do the podcast. Okay, see the podcast, Fine, you go start another. Actually that's they started a podcast without me. I went to the room and then they are filming something without me, and they had their So it sucks again.

We we did five episodes there, all a minute long each. We're testing out a new format of podcast. We'll play one here Tyler's Beetles under the Bed. Okay, my check Beetles under the Bed.

The of Drew and Kai's competing podcast to Emergency or column, which is all about guys stuff.

I tried to kill myself last week. Do you know what?

I really wanted this to be like a fun one.

Do you want to know why?

Why?

Do you want to know how?

How?

Hell?

And why?

You can choose one? Why?

I woke up in the middle of the night, okay, and I walked into the kitchen and I saw what I thought was a ghost, but it was an intruder. And the intruder looked at me and spoke in tongue or binary or I couldn't describe it, but it was almost like a Morris code like clicking, and the clicks for some reason resonated with me, and they said, kill your family or kill yourself.

Choose one.

So I tried to kill myself and it didn't work.

And I later learned that it was a schizophrenic delusion and now I am on.

Anti psychotics.

Okay, cool.

Have you ever tried to kill yourself? I did?

Yeah, I did attempt. All right, guys, thanks for turning in. You have to dive in, please please a minute, Please dive in on the next episode. It's just it just so happens that you always go first.

What's the opposite of emergency in or calm like calm calm vibes.

Thanks again, guys for tuning in to chill quiet announcement.

Let me know what you think.

Actually, we probably won't stop me because I know there's gonna be comments who were like, I would watch a podcast with just you two and I will kill myself. I will actually commit suicide. I will kill myself and that is a threat to all of you.

And I'm not kidding, girl.

I would never leave you. I would never cheat on you. You know this.

You cheat on me.

You're my only one. I swear to go ahead, look at me, No, look at me in the eyes. I swear I would never ever do that.

You look you look away, You're a slave.

I'm scared of eye contact with pretty women. I would never cheat on you, I swear on my entire Looking through me, I'm I'm looking at your beautiful brown eyes, eyes are blue. Imagine I would never cheat scaring me.

I think I said this last episode, but I'm getting used to you, bisonally.

I thought the camera said something. I was like, if we're not.

Recording, I will literally jump onto the tower room. I would know the thing what I would do is. I would get on the next level up and jump dive into the pool head first.

I'm getting used to you by Selena Unhappy class.

I don't want to play around by Ace Spectrum and for the Hungry Boy Johnny Greenwood.

Nice and I have not watched anything.

Oh yeah, I've just been I've been watching this.

That's what I said earlier, like why do we need entertainment? You kiss my fingers and they were all over this grubby ass floor. I said this earlier, like why do we need entertainment in movie and TV shows? When our eyes are the television and what we see is the show, and we should just absorb all the content around us. Know, how the fuck do our eyes work? Like? Actually, like genuinely, like that does not make sense.

Like, well it's because after we got iPhones we put them in our head.

No, it does not make fucking sense at all.

All right, Well, thank you guys so much for watching. We'll be back.

They have Bluetooth towers here, I mean five G towers here. Okay, let's can't escape it.

I'll see you next week. If I decide to go back to la.

If I die young, no.

If not dying young, bury me.

In Simons, Oh satin, satin, bury.

Me in satin, baby.

Dad, no, no, bury me in silence, let me down, and I bet of satin. I don't know better. Roses, fuck her motherfucker. I don't think else.

Singing it right, that's the thing.

Okay, bye, guys. I know I keep getting closer and closer to the edges to fix my big kuchi. Maybe we just do a moment like this where we look over.

My ask looks really flatten these because their kid's shorts don't look Kai is looking at my butt again.

Keep going.

Life is like a move looking at it. Life is like a box of chocolates, is like a buckets of jack. Life can be whatever.

You want to know. The chapel is we didn't get to see.

Life can be your own imagination.

O damn, it's really pretty out here.

It actually is fucking beautiful.

I look, you wish you had an extra day because then we could have just stayed in.

Like I'm literally changing my flight. I'm like, not even.

Joking, I think you should.

I'm not kidding really actually yeah, I say one more day, but I couldn't get back to the airport.

Would get back to the airport you were there.

Actually, yeah, but I.

Guess technically Kay would probably want to say to.

Kay, would you stay another day?

But then how would we extend the car? I think could you could keep the car for a day and just take it back?

Yeah, I mean that's much a lot to think about to think.

Yeah, why not leave tomorrow night?

Look Kiev?

Like if anything, see if you could change your flight till later.

I want to go and climb that mountain. I want to get to the top of it. You see a cross up there.

You watch Free Solo once and you think you're gonna do that.

Like, I could free solo these fucking mountains. I swear to God I could.

Like, I'm not I could free solo these he would, he would look at these in scuff.

He would be like these are the easiest.

F'd be like, I'm getting up there in two minutes.

Yeah, No, I actually think I could. Like that's not even a show, Like I could get up there. No, I swear to God, I could get up to the top if I wanted to. That's I'm not even.

You want to when you're not doing it. That's the funny part.

Well, that's there's a difference between one and can like I.

Can't see what you want and you need and I need you, you need me, you needs me need.

Not everything I need. Look do you see that thing right there?

The pool?

No, that's not a pool. It's like to wash your clothes.

And but my grandma had one that was like cemented in the ground in Honduras, and I used to get in it and I would call it like a pasina because I thought it was a pool, and I'd be like, can I please get in it? And I would get in it all the time, and then I got too big, and you'd be like, stop sucking around with.

Me, and you're gonna break my ship.

You're gonna break my balls. You're busting You've been busting my balls.

You've been busting my fucking balls, my wife, Are you gonna.

Buy me something nice at the market or what?

I've got a thousand more paces to spend?

Are you gonna spend them on me?

Mm?

See? If you're nice? What are you gonna give me tonight? What are you gonna give me to that? It's probably such a strange vibe per second.

I forgot we were.

After I said the imagination thing like I forgot I was on camera, like, actually, all.

Right, imagine no the people.

Wait, I have this idea. Okay, so you know how covid, You know how covid is like happening. What if me, you and all of our influencer friends sang the song imagine.

Imagine No the People.

And we put it out on the internet and we were like, we're all look like, look I may be a celebrity, but we are in this people because people. We're people too. I will say my life is affected just as much as yours.

No, I'm gonna be honest. I think I'm better than most people. I'm okay, sorry, Semi Sumie, I'm not kidding, Like, okay, you're gonna tell me that I'm not better than most people?

I agree?

Really am, Like, look at me, I'm on camera right now. I do what I want. I live.

I'm sorry, guys like I'm better than you, especially Kay, I'm better than sorry.

He can fucking hear you.

No, we am.

He literally were in his head. If I scream right now, it'd be over.

Okay. Should we both say?

Wait?

Should we I don't know if we.

Should because no, yeah, we won't because there's other.

People bottle flip challenge.

All right, let's get out.

Of heree car challenge.

Thank you guys so much for watching.

Sorry about this.

Next time you see us, we'll be in Brazil.

Wait. Someone commented and was like, Drew's like, low KEI been giving Jesus recently, like slowly transforming into Jesus. And I was like and someone was like, no, he's like quickly becoming Jesus. And then someone was like, you know, it's crazy, and then it's crazy he's like making them up. And then someone was like, it's crazy because like the next episode he'll probably be like recording in front of a.

Lake or someone did say that, but there is no lake. It's just mountains.

Yeah, we're in the most beautiful place on Earth.

I thought you were going to try and bottle challenge that over my head. Okay, bye, guys. So imagine I just like lost it.

And I recorded all the way down and I was like, and yeah, why would you Jesus to me? No, he swings the mic and it swings shots me back up and I'm like, don't fuck with me. No, but like the with me mic and you.

Give me a chance and you pull me up and you're like, don't fuck with me, and then you push.

Me back there and then I, what is it? Uh p j U in Spider Man, what's the name PJ No? What the fuck?

What's the girl?

M j I m j U And like Andrew Garfield type yeah, but instead of it being Spider Web, it's cable and you like snap at the bottom.

But I still hit my head and I die.

Way you wake up in another reality.

Okay, bye, God bye bye.

Happened catful