Welcome this side of Emergine Company.
But did you do the clap after? Would you ever wear dead people? Hell? Oh, Virginia, it's for lovers. That's funny. You've never been there, motherfucker.
Yeah, because Virginia is the worst fucking place on earth. No, I got it because my mom was born did there?
So is she Actually?
Yeah, she's from Virgina. And if you think about it, we're all from Virgina.
No, that's not how you say that. It's Virginia.
I am wearing this ship.
No, I'm not gonna say that.
I was gonna no, please just say you already prefaced. You know it was a.
Barn I wasn't Like. I did one of these on the couch the other night and it was really bad. But I was like, oh, I'm gonna get all up in your Virginia, like I was trying to do like Virginia, like you know how we say like I'm gonna get all up enya.
Yeah.
I was trying to do that with Virginia. But the Virgina part already happened at the beginning of that.
So, like I have one just doesn't work, y'all, Love bath and body works. How about you put your body in a bath and go to work challenges?
Did you actually make that up?
I did?
Oh wow, I.
Wish I did. I should have claimed it because that's like an obscure ass, that's a really good Yeah. I had that written down for drew up corner from just like screenshotting show you.
Yeah, you would have never made that up because I don't know the last time I was within a five foot radius of bed and bath.
And bodywork, bed Bath and Beyond works?
Yeah, what is it called bed bath body work?
The only reason I bed Bathroom Beyond is from the movie Click.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's like literally the only reason why.
Why did they use a real franchise store in that?
I really just know Bed Bath and Beyond was in it? And I don't remember the timeline of like Click at all, Like I don't know what happened in that movie.
I remember I think he gets into a fight with his wife Mondays and then goes to bathroom bed Bathroom Beyond. Why does I actually don't know why he ends up there. I know he gets into a fight and he's like, I'm so pissed.
What he finds like the remote there?
I guess, Yeah, A creepy man.
Because he goes to the beyond section, right.
Oh, is that what it is?
Beyond? They say, good transition into We went to the Beyonce concert, Yo, that was it was so mid. That was like, okay, it was mid. It was mid until she brought me backstage with her and Jay like yeah, that that was like the movie part of it because like walking through the Sofi Stadium tunnels was just like a crazy fucking experience because like it is like a
mega lith like it is a giant structure. Like if you have megaophobia, Like, do not go in the tunnels with Beyonce, because like it really does feel like a liminal space.
I was really worried that she would be too tired to hang out because she was like performing so crazy yea, So I was like, dude, there's no way she's like we're actually going to get that text where it's like, oh, like come here and like come backstage. But we did and it was cool and blue ivy on.
She was so she was so was so fucking sweet.
But actually that concert was fucking insane, Like it was.
I've said this twelve times and I have not stopped talking about it since then. It was so funny because like before the concert, like Josiah was like, oh, I'll get us tickets. I'll get his tickets, don't worry about it.
And I knew it was gonna happen because it's like the most anticipated concert of.
Our lifetime, and like we were we kind of just wrote it off and we were like, if we get tickets, we get tickets. Like, but I want good tickets and I'm not spending that much money on a ticket whatever. So like two hours before the concert, we're like we're all just like, bro, like I don't even need to go like this. I like it's like I'll see videos of it on TikTok, Like I don't need to go.
Like we definitely sit in the fucking house after we get drunk and watch fucking Beyonce music videos and performances every single night.
Ye that well out fail. If we are in this house, even slightly inebriated, every single Beyonce music video will get played and we will watch through the whole thing, and each time we will be like holy shit, and like I already know how it goes. We put it off. I look up how old she was in the video and I'm like, oh my god, like, okay, I need to start doing something, like I literally like it always
like goes down that rabbit hole. But I think we were doing that because it felt so unobtainable that we were just accepting our loss.
Yeah.
I was just like, it's okay, it won't be her last tour. I'll see her eventually. It's just not in my cards. I've already accepted the loss of Baychella. I can accept this.
Yeah. No, like and that's that's the final thought in my head was like okay, like I didn't see Baychella, and like if I don't see this, I will be watching Renaissance tour videos on the couch in three years.
Before and I think they're doing a documentary.
And like it just literally like and then eventually we were just like fuck it, let's get tickets. And then we looked and they were like two thousand, five hundred dollars for Club Renaissance, and we were like fuck that,
Like I'd rather die than do that. And then we looked like an hour before the show, and the tickets for Club Renaissance people were just trying to sell them off and make any little bit of profit they could, and we got them for like at cost I think even below cost of what they We got.
Like such a good deal. We bought tickets and then we literally were at a coffee shop being like, dude, there's nothing to do today, Like I guess we're just gonna go home and sit down. And then on the car ride back, I just hear Drew be like, the tickets are so fucking cheap right now.
I was like, buy them, by them, buy them, and then like, because we all got on our phone to buy them, they like jumped up because the fucking scalpers were watching and seeing that people were adding into their car, they jumped up.
And then we were like, fuck dude. And then we just got so honed in on the fact that we were like, I am not missing this fucking concert, are you stupid? I'm not going to miss this fucking concert. So we all came home and we would like every ten minutes recheck the tickets on one phone, and then finally Drew found the tickets again for a really good price. We got the tickets, and we literally got ready in twenty minutes and then left the house again.
Yeah, so that's why we didn't throw fits, because I saw someone like in the comments of a video of me like in the pit like waving, They were like, where's Drew's outfit? And I was like, girl, I literally left twenty minutes before the fucking show started, Like I didn't I have I put my silver on and that's that.
Like, let literally we like we were not supposed to go. We wore what we were wearing, all fun like we came home, brushed our teeth, and fucking left again.
But yeah, like not to make this the dedicated Beyonce episode, but that concert was like a generational like once in a lifetime event that like I will literally never see anything like that again or be a part of something like that again, like like planning that show and just like being the person that like choreographed everything for Beyonce,
Like was just such a magical moment for me. Yeah, yeah, watching a No Virginia legitimately, like it was like like the greatest event I'll ever go to in my life. And I was telling them after, I was like, fuck, dude, like now every concert I go to, no matter who the person is, it will never be that because no one will ever do that again in my lifetime, Like, no one has the sweat. No one has to drive, like no one is the fucking boss, Like no one
has God behind them in a way Beyonce does. Like it's fucking crazy.
I know she is like such, She's so beyond any performer I've ever seen. And that's a crazy thing. Is I feel like I've been to so many fucking concerts. I am definitely a concert goer, so it is by no exaggeration to say that is the best concert I have ever fucking been to, and I've been. I feel like I've been to really good concerts where I'm standing there, I'm like, this is insane, but no one compares to
what that felt like. Also as people who were just grew up watching and like listening to Beyonce, Like my first CD that I interacted with other than like the NYCDS was the b Day album. So also, her doing Get Me Bodiedo was so insane. I'm pretty sure she did green Light too, but like, I don't green Light.
Wait did she fucking predict squad Games? Switch Games?
It was so fucking insane. Also, I sobbed at her and Blue Ivy. It made me so happy. It definitely triggered intense, intense abandonment and mommy issues deep inside of me. But I was so happy watching that, Like I'm not kidding. I was like, oh my god, this is like insane.
You're so warm.
Thank you, I know. I like, actually, what the hell are you asking me about my fucking cooter?
Yeah, it's actually cold.
I keep it on nice or else it'll start really smelling funny.
Guys, Oh damn is that? What is that?
For the twenty thirteen And then we got one from twenty thirteen as well, saying woman crush Wings. They ride a passage to call your pop idol, your woman crush wings.
He's not gay, he wants to have sex with.
The Literally it like, let leave me the fuck alone. She's so hot. I and she literally is like the hottest person on planet Earth. And that confirmed it.
But yeah, it was amazing. If you can go, you should definitely go. It was too lit, too awesome. Best money I've ever spent actually in my goddamn life. Actually, I would one hundred percent do it again if I could. I wish we went last night, but I had obligations so it was unable to.
Yeah, movie fucking movie. Yeah, we'll insert the photos of me in twenty.
Thirteen, also us so close to Beyonce.
Yeah, because y'all, I don't think you understand it was so greatly.
Starting this episode with like the longest tangent about Beyonce, like I was gonna be like so many people have dropped like flies, but I feel like most people who watch us feel the exact same way about Beyonce as
we do. But it is genuinely so insane, Like it was so insane that it triggered like a religious tangent from Elsie, Like she was like, that is what a real Christian woman and is like she was like, that is someone who like actually looks at a crowd of people and it's like all of you deserve life and love and happiness. And she means it with every ounce of her soul. And she's like such a good person, Like.
She's gweled, Like I've never squealed like that before when she started doing the dubairif, like I literally squealed. Also, I predicted that ship, but let's not talk about that. She floated above us, I know, which is fucking crazy. I saw her porch. She looked at my fucking camera like she graced me. We won't air her out with this photo because it's not a generous photo, but like she literally looked at.
That's also how I'm like, I know, like I love her beyond anything because I got some like I had photos of her that I was like, that's just not flattering and I would never yeah, so she would never do that to me. Yeah, And we just spoke about it, like.
Dude, like yeah, in the hotel after, like she was just like we were taking a bunch of photos together and she was like, do you mind if I post the Actually I'm not going to post these, like you don't look the best, but these are going in the scrap book, like the memory book, because like I want to remember this moment hanging out with Emergency.
I never need to sit in a room. I never ever need to be across from her. That is a woman who will literally, like I think, if she like looked in my eyes, something would break. Yeah, something would break. Because even after that concert the next day, I woke up, I was not drunk. At that concert, I had a drink. I was not drunk. I did not get high, and I.
Had like giant rock star fucking energy drink and it looked like a beer and I was like, I'm not carrying a fucking beer. This is a rock star hill, which is even, which is worse.
Yeah.
But the next day I woke up and I literally felt hungover, like I felt like I got beat the fuck up at that concert or something like I felt so drained. But it's also because we did eighteen thousand steps because we couldn't find the car, so we walked around Sofi Stadium for actually forty minutes.
But let's we'll move on. We'll move on, we'll move on.
I'll stop bragging about the best night. Yeah, my casually best night of my life.
But it's crazy how important confidence is, Like really, if you don't believe in yourself, No, I'm the y'all. Like when I get tired, like i'd be saying some bullshit like you should see like the the X notes that I don't read because I read them and I'm like, this is like, like, okay, you see the tip of the iceberg amount of cringe. I am like, that's like bottom Iceberg level of cringe, Like you're not allowed to see that shit. But hold, I'm thirsty.
What the hell?
Well?
In my notes, I have Beyonce called me, oh, any wait, speaking of Beyonce, I'm gonna tell the stupid fucking story.
Oh my god, what the buck is that?
What is this beer?
This is what are they called?
What are they called?
Or this is bored ape water. A lot of people don't believe that I'm an investor and I have three or four of.
A lot of people don't believe that you've invested no value.
How would I have this? Okay, I swear they're gonna rise in value.
Did you get one for me? Why do I have this?
You know that one's staying sealed because it's like an n FT.
This is like the equivalent of like all the old psych senile people who collected beanie babies and didn't let their grandkids touch it. You're gonna be like oldest fucking have grandkids and by that time, the earth is gonna be like non like livable land, and there's gonna be no water. It's gonna be covered in dirt and dust in The only water left is this, and you just gonna be like, don't open it, because when society rises back up, this will make you king.
The only food source will be able to eat in the apocalypse is all of the like bananas and apples and oranges and twinkies and burgers that have been sealed in resin because that shit will never fucking melt. You're gonna have to get like ice picks and go sh dude.
We are such bored humans that we were like, bro, what if we put this food into like literal waste has seen this?
I remember?
Get that.
Okay. So there's like a weed shop that opened up like three days before. I went right up the street and it's a board ape yacht club weed shop. And if you go in I saw that.
Is it like on Highland or something that.
If you go in there and you have a board ape. Listen to this. I did some math. So if you go in there and have a board ape, the average cost of a board ape is like what like forty two thousand dollars or something like that. I don't fucking know exactly. Can you actually look that up real quick?
I think it.
I think they got twenty eight thousand. But anyways, the average cost of a board ape is.
I'm still looking it up.
Yeah, tells you you're flopping so hard right now.
It's oh, I guess it's forty three thousand dollars.
So I'm right, which again still so much forty thousand, forty three thousand dollars. If you go in there and you own a board ape, you get a free eighth of weed a day. You can go in there and get an eighth of weed a day. So if you go in the average cost of an eighth of weed is like twenty five thirty dollars, sometimes forty four dollars
if they give you good weed. So it'll take you like what is forty two thousand or forty three thousand divided by let's say twenty eight, one five and thirty five. I only have to go in there one thy five hundred days to re up your board ape costs.
So it's like a good investor twenty years.
Oh years, that's all I'm gonna say. Like, it's really like four years of just.
Flip it to your homies and pay for the board ape cost. It's a genius idea. But no, it's like the craziest environment I was ever in a my entire.
I can't believe you went in there. Did you go in there alone?
No?
I went with okay, yeah, because just looking around, they really wanted weed, and it was the closest one that was open, and I told them. I was like, am I be sketchy like this late at night? And they were like, no, we'll go. And we went and it was horrifying in there, and all I bought was water and it was fifteen fucking dollars for those two bottles of waters. But I was like, oh, it's a bit for the podcast, so like I feel okay about it.
That is terrifying and gross, Like I hate when I passed that. I was like that one popped up overnight because really down the street eighteen million times, never seen it. And two, I can't believe that is still a thing that is going to plague society for fucking ever. Them putting those stupid, fucking bored ape, stupid fucking ugly ass cartoons all over like buildings and like murals and shit, like it is so ugly more than anything, the art
style is fucking disgusting and ugly. And I hope whoever designed that original fucking monkey dies in their sleep. And I actually don't give a fuck because someone's gonna be like, that's fucked up, that's a person. I don't give a fuck because look what you've done to society, like you genuinely have plagued society in a way that is irreversible.
Like why is that on the side of a bidding in the middle of in the middle of little Havana in Miami, Like, actually, I'm gonna blow you and your fucking house up, and if you survive, I'm gonna hang you by your feet over sharks.
Um.
Don't get on in you. It's bad side. I guess that's why we take away from this.
Okay, back to Beyonce.
I was gonna say I was the stinky I was this stinky guy beyond concert guy was like I really was, since I ran out of the house so quick I forgot to put on deodorant and like literally within eight minutes of her being on stage, I was like sweating so profusely because she was like real, like she was like, I don't know, it's so weird. And then I would be like, oh, but I don't think I stanked to other people. I think I just had hyper stinch.
Well, I was the girl with my tits out at Beyonce. Yeah, I had this fucking tank top on that like falls really easily, and I was just like, oh whatever, like I'm just gonna wear it because I was already wearing it and I couldn't take my jacket off and jump around because my boobs kept coming out.
I was the funniest shit I've ever seen, like before the show, and it was like testing it out, and like she jumped once and then her boobs flocked out and were just going everywhere, and I like, I was like, holy shit, boobs are like so funny, Like they are literally the funniest thing ever.
Yeah, I showed you my boobs all the time.
He needs to pick me up when I just need to get happy.
But what's crazy is Beyonce called me like a week before we went to but we went to get massages, me and Josiah and Ryan and I always fall asleep during massages, and I was laying on my stomach and almost immediately I knocked the fuck out. But then I was in a dream that was so vivid, like I was just in the room looking down that hole, but my phone was on the floor. Oh you don't want to know what a hole. I spread open got to
look it at. But I was staring at the floor and in the dream, my phone was on the floor and I heard it vibrating. So I opened my eyes and looked, and my screen was just like a grade that gray like call screen, and it was Beyonce all lowercase. And in my dream, I genuinely like it was such
a vivid dream. I like looked at it. I was like, oh, fuck, I can't answer that right now, Oh my god, and I like in the dream, I was like, fuck, dude, this is so annoying because I can't answer it that I'm literally getting a massage, And in the dream it just felt so real and normal. And when I woke up, I laughed so fucking hard myself because I was like, cool, dream you canned her up? Is Beyonce calling me? And me being like, fuck, I can't answer that.
My hands are likely dude. Well, my dream also involved you and O'Ryan and we were at like a Walmart doing Walmart vibe, and then we went to like a diner after and we just made a pack to us three to kill ourselves because we were like, I was like convinced the world we were living in was hell. So I was like, we all devise a plant where like, if we kill each other together, we're we'll escape this place and we'll be together in the afterlife, like whatever
the afterlife is. And we did it, and we woke up again, and we woke up in the exact same spot, uninjured, and we all looked at each other and I like started freaking out and writhing, and I was like, oh, my fucking god, we've been in hell already, like Earth is hell, We've been in hell, like what the fuck?
And like y'all were like so chill about it. And I was freaking out and like screaming and writhing around, and I was like so afraid in my dream that like I like moved my head in real life and I woke up with my mouth open, like I was like so scared. I was like, I cannot believe we did this.
Also, what's so funny is we had that exact same reaction when he told us that dream, like when you were like, dude, we killed ourselves and we woke up we were still here and me and we're like, wait, so in your dream this was hell and we were like hell is lit as fuck, Like what are you talking about, Like I'd be so happy if this was how and like we just started saying you were like no, dude. It was like terrifying, and we were like, no, that sounds amazing, so we should kill ourselves.
No, no, no, it's definitely not never.
Yeah, I don't believe that anything is gonna happen.
I just looked at the fucking camera frame and I didn't see you in it, and I was like literally like who, Like I literally just almost had a psychotic break. I was like, I've been talking to no one this entire time, Like that was so fucking freaky well to me.
So I always feel like I'm talking to no about this guy.
Whoa oh should cut that? Hell no, no, we should just add it like somehow like Beyonce's face like poking in.
And it's been like, okay, we're not doing that. We are leaving that in like that.
They'll say get out of here, girl, like like seriously leave, okay literally.
Le Bro, I'm not saying.
An see that's your salted yeah yeah, yeah.
Yea yeah, okay, Well we'll change the pace switch gears a little bit. My family was here. You saw the Madaline episode, y'all ate that fucking ship up?
Like what just like how good you were like switching the topics.
Robot, But my family was here. Madeline episode. Y'all loved it. We need to do an episode with my mother because y'all loved her little cameo. But Madeline and Steven slept in my room and I bought the this like pack and play for Luna to just like sleep in it while they were here. And I did wash my bed sheets before because I was like, I don't want to subject them to that like nasty fucking vibe, but wash my bed sheets. There was the vibe. It was a vibe,
well Madeline and Steven, I think it was Madaline. She like sent like a video, like a three sixty video of my room to the family group chat because she was like, she was like, look how much stuff Drew has in here, Like he has so many things, Like look at all these little trinkets. He's a fucking weirdo.
Like it was just a vibe. And then in the video, on my bedside table there was a bottle of lube poppers and the most lued candle that Elisa got me I've ever seen, and it looks it was the craziest scene. I don't think any of them clocked it. But when I saw I like turned white and I was like almost like guys, that's uh, that's not that's a candle. That's a candle. But I was like, I'm not gonna stammer here and like, yeah, make all attention to it.
So I was just like, I'm gonna let it rock and if they saw it, we'll probably never speak about it ever again. But like, I was fucking mortified, Like I couldn't believe it. Those paupers are in you. They literally are in you. She told me to hide them. She was like, take these from me and hide them because they keep waking up in the middle of the night and hitting them.
So I.
Haven't touched those for like a year. I got a new bottle. Yeah, because I like, don't poppers go bad? I feel like you, I guess maybe, yeah, they like start to like disintegrate and like because it's literally nail polish remover.
Every time I do poppers. The day after, I literally feel like my life is ending and I'm having an ever lasting heart effect evermore.
Taylor Switch, Oh my god, that's probably why I felt crazy after Beyonce concerts because I was hitting poppers. That's literally what it was. Because I was like, I'm not drunk. I didn't do anything it's literally because I had to. It just felt right, you know, like it just felt like the environment. It's annoying though, because I didn't have sex at the concert. I thought I was gonna find find find somebody who's like a little taller than me,
wears like ringer shirts, has a mustache. I'm right here. Made you described me, Hello, you need to grow your hair back out.
I'm not kidding, no, up to hear. I saw pictures of myself with long, fucking curly hair, and I was like mortified. I was like, I cannot I think that was like your hottest era.
Not for me.
I was like, nasty, fucking boots. I literally looked like dishoveled and unkept, and like.
Oh, I think I think you looked good.
Yeah, I think he looked really good.
But I just say that I do like your hair like this too.
Guys. Okay, I listened to this.
You gotta get him something.
Someone was Isabelle Glow was in Madrid and there's this like pre Isabella just wait, there was this prehistoric exhibition there at the Archaeological Museum and look at this. Is that not me? Bro?
I think that's supposed to be Jesus.
No, no, no, he's like a cave person napping.
Oh that is that?
Literally?
Is you sleeping with the knife next to you after the intruder came in with the knife so close to him. Was he scared?
He's probably like a hunter and gather and he's just keeping him next to him for bears or something.
But that was like.
Divine truth entering my body. Sometimes when people ask me questions like I don't spread misinformation, it's Jesus Christ spreading his message.
That's what you're calling the contextual clues of a cave man sleeping with a knife. Like you're not calling that just like oh, you went to public school and learned that they had to like hunt and gather.
It's like divine intuition, Like something just comes over me and I just know the answer to all of these questions. But but I'll fuck Oh the knife thing, man, that was so fucked up, like having to sleep all the night, literally so scared. I had a full blown panic attack last night, like shaking and writhing and like it was really scary. Yeah.
Yeah, and for all of y'all who think of me. And I went in there and I comforted him, so she kissed my forehead.
Really, did you? Actually?
Yeah, I was so scared. I don't know what came over me. It was like it was like when I was sixteen, like looking at the stars, like having a panic attack because I was like, it's so infinite and never ending, like none of this is real, like, but it was like I was legitimately convinced I was like dying, and I like called for Josh because he was in the hallway and he didn't hear me, and I was like, fuck, dude,
they're gonna wake up to me dead. And then I like kind of grounded myself back to reality with that whole fucking Fiver trick or whatever where you like name five things that you can see, taste and smell or whatever. And I kind of came down. And then by the time Eny was there, I was like coming down like heavily. I saw India and I just broke out of my panic attack. I had separate anxiety.
Like he saw my face and he's like, oh my god, like.
My angel, I couldn't look at the lights. Oh it was so scary, and you were so bright.
And I was such a bright light that I like cleared his mind. No, I literally had no idea what to do.
I was just like, Okay, there's like literally nothing you can do. I just want to be next to someone when that's going down so much comfort, no, no, no LUs no lust, so.
The blood stops racing to your heart and starts going to your Yeah, it's.
A really good idea. No. But when I was like having my panic attacks when I was like sixteen, and just like freaking the fuck out every night, like if you know, like chronically panic, like chronic panic disorders, like you know like what I'm talking about, but like literally just like freaking the fuck out every night, and I would just like call my mom up to my room and have her sleep in my bed because I was like, like my it felt like my body was like buzzing
and like I had to move and I was like super restless, and I was so scared. Like there were moments like where like I literally was like I want to jump out of my fucking window because like I can't go anywhere, like I don't know what to do, like I'm stuck in my body. But it was like you coming into my room was like my mother comforting me. It was very sweet.
Also, why are you so shocked that I would kiss my friend. Hello, this is.
My boy, Like, yeah, I mean you guys we.
Kiss. That's like the second time this week that we've like shared an account of affection or done affectionate thing. And a friend was like, whoa was? Because Elsie, when we were like at the stadium and we both were like holding each other and then we like what like we were going to kiss and they like just kept moving and she was like, what the fuck was that? I was literally just like us actually being affectionate to each other, like it was.
It was real.
You know what helps me when I have panic attacks?
What banging your mama?
Now, I'll take out my funk pop collection.
And just look at them. Do you let yourself open one up? Or do you keep it in the bottom.
I'm not going to open one of them, I was serious, but I will never I'll touch the box, which I'm usually not allowed to do.
Your greasy fucking fingerprints on the glass, like pop on a Marvel movie, a Marvel movie, Funko pops and then Harry Potter flavored popcorn.
Yeah, every Podder flavor, Like what is Harry Podder flavor?
Like butter beer? Like butter beer like kettlecorn.
Well, did you wake up feeling better?
No? No, you don't have to talk about it though it's really angxious.
No.
I felt up like perfect today, except my heart hurts because it was I swear to god, my BPM got up to two hundred. It was fucked up. I was like almost like gonna crawl to Josh's room to like use his little heart monitor, but I was like, I don't even need to see that because it'll freak me out even more.
Yeah. Well, after I finished comforting you, I went and played Texas Chainsaw mask Her and screamed in the.
Living room with my friends, so yeah.
You're jealous. And then we watched Texas Chainsaw ask Her and it was like the funniest movie I've ever seen.
Like good, I love that movie.
It was so good. But also X is such a complete rip of it that I was like, oh my god, dude, like this is fucking crazy. And Elsie and Sabrina were cracking up because we were sitting there watching it, and I was like, this is literally the movie X, Like this
is insane. And then I was just like saying, I was like, if they stop at a gas station, I'm gonna be fucking pissed, and then they drove up into one and we were dying laugh because we were like, oh, this is fully literally like this is just that movie. But they started off with the brother in a wheelchair just falling down a hill for no reason, like like
oh insert clip. Like they started with the brother is in a wheelchair and he just is like they take him out to go pee and he's like pissing at the side of the road and a truck passes and they are trying to convince the audience that the wind velocity of that truck passing was so intense that his wheelchair pushed forward in grass and he just rolls through a hayfield like down. It was fucking hilarious because he wasn't hurt, like he had like rips in his shirt,
but he wasn't bloody or anything. He was just like laying and he was like, ah, like why did they make that happen? They just like wanted to push him.
Yeah.
That just made me think about how like every time I watched like a horror movie, I'm like I would have done this, I would have done that, Like you shouldn't have done this, Like why did you do that, but like does it take my hand or talk to me, talk to me, talk to talk to me. Like I was like, oh wow, Like I would not change anything about the scary movie I'm in, like my horror movie arc. I'm in my horror movie arc right now, but I like want to see I want to like make my
own just ride it just for fun. Like it'll never get made, but like I feel like it would be so fun and cathartic to like write about people getting like murdered in plane crashes.
And shit, Like I want to ride you so bad.
I said, right, Oh sorry, I was like, but you can ride me. I used to Oh this also actually ties in, And I don't know why I wrote this down, but I said, I used to be so obsessed with VFX makeup, like and would make my own fake blood from corn stars, red and blue food coloring and chocolate syrup. And that was like the when I was making that shit, Like I remember it sat in our pantry for like years after my parents were so pissed that I wasted
a bottle of cornstarch. But like I would just like put it on myself and like play dead on the ground, and like no one would ever, if I can believe.
Me, there was that one girl on YouTube who was really good at BFx, and I would watch the fuck out of her.
Videos, The Redhead.
Yes, Yes, and I was really condesced, like monster made or something. I was like, I'm gonna do VFX, like that's gonna be what I do, and instead I do this. So some would say it's really similar.
Yeah, it's two monsters.
I'm causing harm.
Somehow, it's misinformation spreading misinformation. But yeah, I know, I literally like I feel like it might be like a rite of passage for like creative people too, Like is to like make a fake cut on their face or something, or like to make their fingernails.
Well, either somebody who gives yourself a fake cut on your face or you're somebody who does the Tate skull making the two.
Ends, the two ends of the spectrum. Let's talk about the polymer clay of VFX makeup pipeline.
Though I know, I also, like every kid who liked Palmer Clays wearing, we were going to be like stop motion animated, like I swore.
I still swore until I was like twenty. Yeah, I know, Oh I remember, I was like, oh, I'm going to do this.
Halloween is coming up, so that means we're about to see the worst pictures that Instagram has to offer.
Picture. Yeah, I feel that means the Illuminati really like did their thing with the Halloween last year, because like all of the biggest influencers in the world, all of their Halloween photos were edited so saftly, all by what I'm assuming to be is the same person. Like it was so bizarre, Like they all had just like shitty backgrounds in the.
Green screen, like not even green screen, like weird cutout.
Yeah, exactly, and no one was like like saying anything about it, and I thought it was going crazy. Yeah, but like the world elites had the most bizarre Halloween photos. I'm really struggling this year, y'all coming up with the Halloween costume. I told any one that.
I was like the beginning of September.
That I was serious about and it was no, I'm going to keep that one because I might actually do that. But we found our joint costume. Yeah, it's overdone, it's a played out a bit, but like it's cute and it'll it'll kill. Yeah.
I was thinking, can't I can't say that?
Why don't I see butterflies anymore.
I see butterflies all the time. I don't literally driving in your car though. That day, remember I saw too. We were driving and then like they went over your roof, and I was like, dude, your car is so awesome because if a butterfly or something flies over the car, I can.
Just look up at us. Yeah.
So maybe you have to attract that kind of positive energy to see those kind of positive things, because I'm such an aura of positivity and comfort and calmness and warmth that those things just come towards me and come on me.
No, no, no, no, no.
Oh.
I literally just saw one. I'm not even fucking playing. I'm not even no, no, I swear to god.
Actually was it a green one?
No, It's like it might have been of my eyes, like yellowish.
Yeah, I saw it too.
Oh yeah, you just saw one, right now?
I saw one. Do you believe me?
Okay, I'm gonna take that fucking hard drive and snap it.
It's my favorite hard drive.
Yeah, I'm gonna take your lap.
That would be bad for us.
Yeah, that would be bad for you guys.
So I don't give a fuck. You're my op too, right, now I got so many fucking ops, and two of them are in the room.
The thing is Drew is saying that as a joke, But Drew genuinely will make up like some of them, like a lot of them. I understand where his brain goes is to why he decides to call someone is off. But sometimes it is the most like subpar miscommunication or like just lackluster reason. And Drew will literally hone in on one person and be like, they want me dead, they want me to like not be living, like they hate me. They're talking about me.
I know that I ever said that. Never have I ever said that. I just can feel an energy shift in certain people, and I'm like, I want to get to the fucking bottom of this. What the fuck is going on? There's no communication on there, and so I'm just like, oh, like, fuck you, You're in my own.
So what's happening is you are a naturally anxious person and at the slightest tone shift, you become panicked and you are considering this person now your enemy.
Yeah, but don't fuck with me.
What's actually happening is.
I don't think it's absorbing.
You're right, He's like, yup.
I will say, I feel like you are very intuitive, Like you've texted me multiple times just been like hey, what, like what's up. And it's been like when I'm like, oh my god, like there's too much weight on my shoulders, I'll be like lying in bed paralyzed, and you'll text me and I'll be like, this is insane. It's happened like four times.
I can sense people's No, that's because he has a camera in your room.
Kai, It's because he's watching.
At all moments. I actually I won't even talk about what he was doing.
Yeah, don't don't expost him like that, don't expose it wasn't.
But thank you, Kay. I do feel that way you do.
You're very intuitive. You're like a female.
Yeah, what the hell?
Don't ever say the f slur again? That was crazy.
Also, I don't know why I just thought it. I think I thought of it because saying that you had a camera in Kai's bedroom, but something I have mentioned eight million times since it's happened. Shane Dawson saying, look, look the phone just like like it can see your face even when it doesn't see your face in the phone already being unlocked and then like swiping the camera thing that he had for a cover. Have you seen that? He's like was making about like how your iPhones can
just like know who you are or something. It was like some stupid shit, and he literally showed his face to his phone so it unlocked with face ID, and then he was like, watch look at this and was trying to show that, like the phone can see you no matter what. That like, it's not the camera that's a camera, it's like the set the yeah that it's like an infrared camera that they used to stalk you and like track your facial movements like at every waking moment. Okay,
but he had like it was so stupid. I'll show you and then we have to insert it. But right, oh my god, that's awkward.
Come here, give me a kiss.
That was a good kiss. No more slaps, just kisses, nose kisses. Okay, yeah, this is in hugs.
I can't believe you were somebody I followed since you posted about Beyonce being your crush eighteen times and I really was like, that's.
My that's my man.
Is that the same era where You're like I'm gonna hit h.
No, we hadn't met each other in real life at that point. But we were like, I think, maybe following each other, and I was.
Like, my god, we were like fourteen.
I was like, he's cute, like by bay.
Oh.
I also thought every single boy I was friends with I was gonna day like it was like a problem. I was like, oh my god, he's so nice to me, like we should have sex, even though.
Like I was never going to have literally still you today. Yeah, anybody who's like anyone, not just boys, anyone cut that now, cut that put that death.
That damn oh fuck oh I'm seeing the same.
Okay, So I want to hit my jewels so bad.
I have to.
Girl, you're like being sketchy as fuck. No, no, no, okay, so see what she does to me. I quit and then she picks up all and does it in front of showing off.
Everybody has every every sobriety journey. I relapse comes with a relapse, and that's okay, you get back up on it.
But genuinely I do believe that. Okay, Virginia virginially vaginally, but literally like to get sober, there are going to be humps in the road, and relapses is one of those humps. And it's Okay, even if it's a day, even if it's a month, even if it's six months, even if it's two years, don't stop trying year. I genuinely believe that. Though yeah, we like.
We're working on it, we're working on it.
I'm going to get through this.
And I'll follow suit one day, one day, okay.
So we were at a hotel for Oriyan's birthday. We got our little hotel room and we had a little birthday and when everybody left, it was just the next night. It was the last night in the hotel, and me and you and Joe Syah were kind of just chilling on the couch and I don't know how it got brought up, but O'Ryan was like, have you ever seen like someone give birth?
And then you was like, yeah, oh it got brought up because she told a crazy story about like a like she had seen someone talk about.
And so we started watching birthing videos and Enya and o'riyan both started sobbing, crying in fear and in pain for these women, and it was like the crazy I got it all on video. I don't know, I'm not.
Kidding, like I never like I am like somebody who's very in between having kids. Like part of me is like, oh, when I'm with a good partner, I fully understand it. And I'm like, Okay, I understand why people have children because when you're in a really good relationship and your communication is good, everything is good, You're like, why wouldn't we have children? I can't believe people do that. That's insane.
Have you seen Alien Versus Predator? Something is wrong with me? Have you seen Alien Versus Predator? What the fuck was I referencing? Maybe face?
Because because the out of there when when what's her name gets pregnant with one of the aliens and it comes out of her stomach? But I like whatever, So I'm always so in between. But something that I've never deep dived on but I'm very aware of is how painful and agonizing child's birth is. And I've just never looked into it because I'm like, that's not something I
need to know. That epidural is going in. Bitch. Fuck you if you were like, oh, fuck no, bitch, give me a perk, give me epidural, give me everything, like literally, give me everything. Shove it edible down my throat, give me a perk. Thirty and get that epiral in me, which I want to be.
Speak.
Give me a popper, loosen me up, like make it easy.
But I'm not.
Vagina poppers. I'm gonna figure it out.
But it just I've never seen We started looking at Mark Zuckerberg too. Yeah, but it just like I never looked at videos and they always always avoided I've always avoided videos of childbirth. I never looked at it. And then O'Ryan just started playing in front of me. And I am not kidding, like even the thought of some of the things I say. It is so fucking nasty. There's nothing beautiful about that. It is a shame. We
are so barbaric. It is so fucking weird, Like I am not kidding, like vagina like like after when you have the baby, vagina like so cute, But first of all, clean that shit off. It's fucking nasty. It's covered in sludge and slime and it's so gross. It is so gross, Like I don't think I need to have a kid because that is so nasty unless you give me a park thirty. Yeah, well can they give you a park thirty? Why don't they give girls perk thirties when they're giving birth, I think so they can.
I don't want to be.
Turned the fuck up, bitch. I want to be cross faded as fuck giving birth to that baby, like immediately shove some fucking tequila and an edible down my gullet, like the second that baby's coming out. But I guess then, is the baby gonna get fucked up?
Because the second the baby's umbilical cord to the air, it has to start breathing through itsnaw okay.
So once that happens, once that head is out, someone come in my fucking I.
Really believe this. If I gave birth, I wouldn't feel pain, Like I feel like it would.
Be so easy for like a man, like compared to like a woman, like yeah, we're.
Just it would just be like so yeah, Drew.
Like where would you come out of the tip of your wiener?
Yeah yeah, but it would just be like so easy, So dude, I know, and like literally just like like you're screaming, bro, you're being so just like relax, You're like literally you only do this like a few times maybe, but in.
The moment, like why be present?
No, I need to be fucked up, Like I need them to hand me that baby in my arms be so limp from being sucked up that they're like, oh, she can't hold a baby yet, like we gotta give.
I was in I think I remember I was in middle school and for like a class we had to watch a childbirth and a kid next to me fainted.
Oh my fucking god, someone fainted at Beyonce. Behind it someone the second.
She gone on stage, we heard like we heard that ship just like felt water kind of on your legs, and we were like what the fuck and people were like like running towards someone, and we turned and there was.
Just a girl like on the floor and then that's crazy.
They like got and she was like away.
She was like what what what? She was freaking out and she got up and then literally like her boyfriend or whoever she was with took her out and she came back because he was like, she's not drunk. She's not drunk. She just fainted. Because I think, like the security is probably like, oh, she got too fucked up, but she literally was so taken up, actually fainted.
Respect honestly, but wait, a dude fainted and oh yeah.
It was like this kid that like everyone. He was just mean to everyone and I remember like he was fully yeah, he was like you know, he was not Yeah. People did not fuck with this ad home life. Yeah. And then basically like the video came up and his head just like hit the he like fell asleep and it was It was awesome, bro.
He was.
Also I kind of said, I wish I was at that Beyonce concert throwing throwing ass and dick around.
There was that reason you weren't there. There was a reason you weren't fucking there.
We knew you were gonna pull up in like tiny shorts and we couldn't do it, Like.
We've already like booty shorts.
You in the American apparel disco shorts.
What y'all don't know is Kay can make a clap.
That is true, and that's not even a joke kidding.
Men's asses, specifically straight men's asses, are the most disgusting thing ever. God was supposed to do some sort of design rework there, because anytime I have seen a man's ass.
It's a dumpy. It's not like a dump truck. It is like a dumpy like fat baggy.
It's like nasty, Like why does it look like that? It always looks so gross. It's so hairy too.
Well, I got one more thing to say. It's a cute little one here we Okay, so you know the song beautiful, beautif beautiful beautiful. Let me let me see what the song title is.
It's David Bowie, right.
M.
Yeah, I think it's called like darling Boy.
I think it's called Beautiful. No, you're right, you're right.
I just want to know on this No, it's John Lennon, uh nineteen eighty Double Fantasy. Anyways, I have a very vivid, remembery memory of like my dad in a driver's seat and me in me and the passenger seat, and my dad like playing that song on fucking blast, and like I just remembered that and I was like, this song fucking sucks, but like he's like, this song's for you, this song is about you. And I just have a
very vivid memory of that now. And it was when I heard that song last night, I was like, holy shit, that was so sweet of him to do. And I was like, I'm gonna do that for my kid.
If you get to have them, if you live that long. Okay, what are you doing? Damn?
Whoa? That is actually crazy, dude.
I just imagined like something disgusting.
You imagine my butthole.
Yeah, you're bare like lower half doing that, and I like, actually.
My balls between my legs.
O dude, Like man anatomy is actually disgusting and not kidding it. It's so gross. They need to like figure out how that when y'all bend down it just goes away.
Yeah, no it does. It's just when it's so big.
For me, it's just like, yeah, that's really fucking disgusting. I saw Texas Chase on Escar so fun, so fun. I'm trying to think of, like what movies I've seen. I feel like I've seen a bunch of movies this week. Maybe I saw Coraline.
Coraline and that was really really fun talk to me.
Yeah. Oh. I finished How Too with John Wilson, so good.
So I started watching One Piece, like the live action, and like it is so incredibly mid at best. I've never seen past like the first twenty five thirty episodes of One Piece, so I don't really know how accurate it is, but I will say it's fun. But like, why doesn't someone like when they're making a live action anime like movie, Like, why doesn't someone higher like someone with a clear fucking vision and a clear like swag, and like why is it like always just shitty? Like
why why are they always fucking terrible? Like it's an actual problem, Like.
Yeah, why is it always it seems like they're wearing party cities?
Yes, dude. Like the the acting too was like really there was another butterfly, a white one. The acting two was subpar and like, I don't know, it was just like but I'll watch it and I'll probably like it, but like, come on, like that's not a hot take at all, But like I'm gonna start giving like incredibly cold takes, Like I'm gonna be that guy where I just give like the most awful worst takes ever in a room full of people and just silence the room, Like that's my vibe.
There you with the first one that is a cool take?
Should I do Drew Shye up Corner? Yeah, go for it, girl, Welcome to Drew shy Up Corner. Y'all love cuddling with skinny dudes until we get lost under the covers like a remote or like a jewel, like a jewel. Yeah, that's really funny. This one's just literally a classic. We quote it all the time, and I was like, I cannot believe I haven't read this one yet. Girls that stank are coolest fuck like you know what onion Powder.
I kind of like you, you know what, Beyonce. Okay, you might, you might listen to the same music as me, but I listened to it in a much deeper and more intellectual way than you ever will.
That is Yeah, That's why I'm a gatekeeper, because I just don't believe you guys have like the like emotional.
Bandwidth wherewith all tiunder standing in the way I do ain't no way God told Noah to put two podcasters on the arc. Damn we do breed too.
It's so funny. When we were in the coffee shop and Elsie was like, this feels like we are in Noah's ark right now. She was like, there is, there is, there's every walk of life in here, and the door is going to be shut and we're gonna watch like the world obliterate and it's only going to be the people.
Okay, So I'll do this one and then that one. I admit it. I'm a lame girl. I don't party, I don't work on guys, I don't stay out late but I do stay up late, I do read, I do smoke, I do vibe to music, and I do think that is that was more just like a deep thought.
That's you minus the smoking.
Yeah yeah, yeah, I mean, and I'm the other girl penis ay my god and babes ey Okay, okay, wait, wait, this is a good. One is good, and this is the last one, and then I'll do music tag someone gay in the comments to out them. It's all all of them are literally going to be at Drew, like all of them are going to be me this one.
I'm glad you're not actually gay though, and it's cool that we've built an environment where we can like stoke about being gay, but neither.
Of us. Okay, this is just like something I want to leave you guys on. And then actually I'm gonna do this one. This one will probably get cut and leave that, but cut it because I want them to stay whispering. And then the last one. The thought manifests okay again, Okay. The thought manifests as the word. The word manifests as the deed. The deed develops into the habit,
and the habit hardens into character. So watch your thought and its ways with care and let it spring from love born out of concern for all beings.
Wow, ironically that was like extremely difficult for you to read.
Well, then I'm missing all the colons in the semi colonshit, so I didn't know where it ended. And I also have a bunch of typos in it, like a bunch like I don't think I was supposed to say into the habit.
Yeah, that was deep.
The second thinking.
About banging your mama, I stopped doing it and it stopped becoming a habit because I didn't care about her. It was just a abit.
The thought manifests as me banging Inya's mom. The word manifests as me banging Kai's mom. The deed develops into me banging Kai's mom and dad, and the habit hardens into me banging Inya's mom. So watch as I bang Kai in Inya's parents, and it's ways with care and let it spring into a love born out of concern for banging all of y'all's parents.
Kai's popping perks back then the pill just dry swallowed up Hill. I just need something and it came out of his wallet.
Look, I realized I didn't turn the clock on for you guys, and I'm having a panic attackt on me get fired at the end of the episode.
So you were way the time. By the time he walked in the door.
I was fired six months ago. I'm just coming.
He's just coming because you want something to do. Okay, here is my media of the week. I've been listening to the album Fountain Baby by Amare. I don't know if I'm saying that right because I can't say names or words correctly. And the more you make fun of me, the more you need to realize that I have immigrant parents and you are fucked up for making comment on me not being.
Able to find that's kai to t.
What Princess going Digital from that album, Sociopathic Dance Queen and Big Steppa are my favorite from that album.
And then.
My other music of the week is Maybe I'm Gonna Want You by Bread and I'm Still Looping on Earth by the Sundays. That song makes me makes me so happy that I want to kill myself a knife.
Okay.
Mine is King David's Style, dj Escrow, reck Ray Harrikami, Pearls Shaday, It's a Fine Day, Opus.
Three, and mine is Guardians of the Galaxy in America, Captain America, and Iron Man one, two, three, four, five, and six.
Oh, they're actually more than one of those.
I think there's like six.
There's I think there's four. There's four the Avengers.
They need to fucking stop.
If there's six, I'm literally gonna have a heart attack and die. But they did kill him off. He's done really Yeah.
Yeah, Oh, there's three of them.
Three, but he's in all of them.
I would have sex with him if I had to.
Yeah, Robert Downey, Yeah, Robert Downey. J oh yeah, if I had to. And I feel like he's also a nice guy. He gets like genuine kindness, but also sometimes it feels superficial, like he sees the comments of people being like he's like a nice guy, like look, and then he.
Just acts that he's seen the video of him like on Wall Street when he's like twenty four or.
Something like making fun of like stockbrokers, and he's so sexy. Yeah, he was rizzing all over the camera looking at furniture. Yeah, well I had a tab open for like a furniture spot. We really need a lamp, So I was like, oh, yeah, I forgot I was doing that.
Oh, Yeah, the lampy scent was really cute. We should just get one of those candle holders and put it in the corner room and go medieval style. The fuck off candles are so fucking expensive.
Now.
When the hurricane was threatening to take out our power, I bought candles because I was like, just in case, like I want to be able to see like my book that I'm reading because I won't have Wi Fi, and like what else am I supposed to do? And it was so fucking expensive?
Okay, what Like, dude, sometimes you're such a twenty five year old or we both are like you sitting you're talking about how expensive candles are. We're like so dumb. During the hurricane, like right before, like what when it started to hit, which it was just rain here, me and Drew went outside and he followed me outside so I could smoke and drink a coffee and look at the rain. And we sat on the front porch just sitting out there in silence, and we were like, damn, we are in our mid twenties.
It was kind of such a mid twenties vibe, like and you smoking a cigarette and I was sitting outside watching the cigarettes.
After sex because that's what we were doing, because we had.
Just boned, We just fucked, and there was juices and calm and fucking shit sprayed everywhere all the fucking walk. It was so fucking smelly. It smelled like fucking sex. I can I can smell fucking sex from a mile away. I can smell that you just had sex. Yeah, I'm looking at you.
Nasty, nasty, rotten sex and the condoms tied up and putting the toilet in.
The all right bye, I almost said good night, I mean night
Three