They stole all my ship.
You haven't even seen Drew. You haven't even seen Drew.
They stole something from Lear the toy.
Whoever took all my ship? Please have they fucking wigs out of it?
For cancer patience?
And they stole it from the fucking joke.
It like, I don't know myn you like, thank god they stole it because you look so much better used to look like ship.
I had to get that off my chest. I'm so sorry. Oh I'm saying it's good they stole your hair because now you're sexy.
So you let me be ugly for two years.
Well yeah, because now your hair looks healthy and you're mogging me.
Like.
The thing is like I always think Drew is hot, but there is something so nice that there was a time remember when all the.
Compents were like Drew was so sexy, Drew so sexy. I'm right fucking here. It made me feel like when I was with my sister at school again.
But recently I've been the sexy one. But now like I have to fight with you for comments.
Okay, see then you do something.
That part Oh well, y'all thought that it was just a little hair. Okay, y'all thought I chopped everything off right the.
Babe, babe, go show them.
I need them to see, like what I'm staring at, Like I can't believe this is what we do.
Like my parents literally like risk their lives to come to this country.
This is what I do with the life they gave me. Are you farting? You're a little fighting girl, Drue, you look so good. You're my little angel. Baby. I love you, baby. That's how I'm gonna start talking to you. Oh, this is kind of a bar chair. Ever again, Like putting on the floor is kind of fun.
Our set is the fucking car. Yeah no, it's literally trapped in the cars. We transport it for something very extra special, something coming very soon. But we were just too lazy to bring it up the stairs. And we were thought, oh, you know, it might be fun to just sit on the fucking floor of our nasty, fucking kitchen. I barely vacuumed. I mean, if you can see in the corner behind ya, there is rotten watermelon juice because in youa make watermelon.
Watermelon juice, it's a rotten creation smoothie. Where I realized that juice is ferment. And then I learned from TikTok that you supposed to use a little needle to pop the air, so it has a fucking explode all over you.
And one time I was like, I'm gonna be good.
I'm going to clean the fuck out of this fridge and I found a juice in the back and I was like, oh, this is gonna stink. Thank god, I didn't put my face nearer. I had my face like this because I thought it was gonna sneak.
Oh.
That literally would have given you eatings.
It looked like the episode you Are Not episode you know what? It looked like the.
Scene with uh Johnny Depp in Nightmare on Elm Street.
That's literally what that.
Juice did to like it shot up at the ceiling and went down this way and felt.
It literally coated our entire kitchen in rotten watermelon juice. Like it was fucking crazy. It was a bad vibe. But yeah, so there's that in the corner to the rotten pile that we missed that we just said, you know what, keep it, But well.
It's because it's like classic when you spill something, it's I'm getting the big portions out and whatever is left, what doesn't kill me, makes me fucking exactly. I thought picking off it. Do you ever clean up broken glass? And you get kind of lazy at the end.
Like oh, and I just like, I'm just like if I step on that, like it'll.
It'll I'm like, honestly, I'll learn a lesson later, just for future Drew to figure out. No, Like, when we were breaking that TV, there were shards of glass that broke all over the floor.
No what no, no, no no.
And I sat there and picked every single one of them up because I was like, oh, what if his like thinks this is a toy and plays with it. But there were these like microscopic, like tiny little shards of like plexiglass or some shit that like, I literally, I'm not kidding. I just cleaned up with the bottom of my feet. I was just like, I'll just pick these up and like rub them.
Yeah, my skin like fiberglass.
Also, I feel like we need to clarify that is not our fucking TV. In that video, Josie got that TV from the career budget for like forty bucks off of Facebook market because I saw someone being like, oh my god, they really do just have money like that. I want to clarify, Yes, we are very privileged. I live an awesome life. We have had the same TV for six I have.
Been begging, begging to buy a new one. I don't you've.
Been getting a new TV.
Like all the TVs do the same ship like at a soundbar, so that the bass is crazy, because I will say we destroyed the speakers on our TV. When we have friends over and we're trying to like set a vibe and put music on the TV, literally sounds like like it sounds like you're in a teenager's car, like in a teenager's niece on.
When you too much on us vibrating the trunk.
But yeah, I just want to clarify that. I just don't like you can't say you.
Kind of I love new TVs. If I could, I would buy a new TV every single year.
Because I think it's a very man thing.
It truly is. It's like it's a very straight thing. They can of course I'm straight, but like it's it's probably. Yeah.
It just goes to prove for all the deniers.
Is like I love TV.
Have all the grinder relegation, I.
Love DVS and basketball.
You can hate the straight man lives.
On yeah, I love TVs and basketball. I will not touch football because honestly, that's the gayest sport there is. But we don't have to get into that. We've talked about that one hundred times.
But well it's also just crazy because it's like all sports have danger to it, but like football, in UFC, wrestling and shit, I am so.
Sorry the way I felt after my concussion, Like for like five days after. I swear to God, if they're getting a concussion a night, like no wonder all of them like fucking killed their wives. I mean, I'm sorry. That's like really dark excited to say, but like there's like I felt so crazy and out of it for like a week after that, and like literally like I
had a constant headache. I just felt dazed and confused, and like I just felt off, like I felt like I was viewing life from like I felt dissociated, like I was viewing life or depersonalized. Do you really say, what is.
The I mean, I doubt football creates a space where there's like a lot of conversation around mental health, But I wonder what the greats.
Of like depression and suicide are football.
It's it's it's sky high.
It's a lot of them also really addicted to gambling and all that other shit, and I feel like all.
Addicted to painkillers because the NFL like would supply all these players with painkiller like Tom Brady, I think, or no, Aaron Rodgers like played the best games of his life high on fucking percocet because he like broke his arm or some shit, and they were like, no, we need you, so they like put them back out there.
Ever, get up there and do that one too.
But yeah, the depression rates post like their careers are really gnarly, and all of them have like fucking dementia and CTE, and like what drives me insane is I'm like there are so many like opportunities for these players to like not get CTE. Like they invented this new thing with like a helmet cover and it looks fucking stupid, but like it stops people from getting a concussion every goddamn game, but they don't wear them because they look dumb. And I'm like, okay, like you either look full.
Now football players already look fucking dumb, like that ship in your mouth and the helmet combo is kind of crazy, like you're already looking like you're doing something that God never intended for you to be doing.
So put the goddam Actually.
I would argue that football is exactly what God intended man to do, like to beat each other up, like because I mean, we've been doing that shit for like millennia, like thousands and thousands of years. It's just like that fall the seams. We would just kill each other. That's fucking crazy. We would kill each other for sport. And now I lay in bed with the anxiety of a person being hunted, like it's crazy, Like it's epigenetic. It's like in my DNA to be ancient.
That reminds me of something I wrote down. Oh that like reminds you of earlier. Today, I was watching this person review pens that they like, and I was like, ooh, stationary just does something to me.
And I'm like, it literally feels like it feels like how my brain feels when I see green, and it's like my body begging me.
To go back to the forest the tradition.
That's how I feel about like analogue stationary items.
And like like a good collection of like those Stedler highlighters, Like oh, like the.
Past but then I I don't use that shit.
I know, I buy it, and then it just sits on my desk very organized, like I will.
Say the pens I own right now, Like I've had pens for the first time run out of ink in the past year, which is crazy.
It's like getting through to the topics.
The coopic markers I bought ten years ago are still still cool as fuck because I I don't know, Like for those that don't know, I'm sure a lot of you do know, kopis are like the holy grail of marker. I'm pretty sure they'd be ben dethroned recently by like ohuhu or whatever, because it's like it's literally just like a topic marker but like a fraction of the cost and we have them and like low key like they are better than kopis. But anyways, that's the gag is.
Kopick was never that good, never gagging the girl.
It was topic and then what was the clay Because me and Drew both bo grew up watching like Stationary Cremo.
No Femo Femo, oh f I m o X Cremo. But those copic markers I bought literally a decade ago are still juicy as fuck because there's something in my brain that like literally will not let me use them because they cost so much. And that's like that is like an actual problem in my day to day life. Like if I buy something expensive, I will literally just not open it for like a week at a time because I don't want to like fuck it up, like
it's crazy. I've gotten better about it recently though, but those coping markers will literally stay juicy as fuck because I don't use them at all.
Well, also like it, I feel like we both do that, and it's because our parents raise us correctly and they taught us to.
They made us buy our shit.
Yeah, they made us either like work for our thing. You had to wait for it, or it was like a luxury thing. Because I'm looking at these femo clays, I to me, a bitch, you got on YouTube and had femo clays of every color, don't even pull.
With like the drawers with the drawers, yeah.
You like to me, that was I didn't grow up watching the Kardashians and shit, but that is how I assume people felt about the brain Ashians when they would watch and be like, damn, this is just wealth.
That to me was wealth, and that is why we need to go back. We need to go back. No more Stanley cup cups and stuff.
Also, didn't Stanley like donate to twenty twenty five Project twenty twenty five? I'm not kidding. I think I saw Actually, you know, this could be like crazy misinformation, But I was scrolling on TikTok I saw them, and I sawid TikTok live of a girl riding down all of the names that like donated to a project twenty twenty five, and they got to the s's and they wrote Stanley, and I was like, I mean, it makes sense because Stanley was originally like a working man's brand, like the og.
Stanley Maller Like, yeah, America.
I don't know. That could be misinformation, So throw your Stanley's away, you freak bitches. Actually, I don't give a fuck. Keep them and drink them, like, I mean, we all have lead poisoning at this point, Like, but we're all bad, We're all cooked.
It is done. And I've been thinking about that recently and it's been pushing.
Me to really new bounds of my brain's limits that I feel like this next year is my last year to.
Live, like I'm live.
Oh by living like I'm being fucking like hunted, like you said, like I'm not playing every day.
I went from somebody and this is going to sound so ridiculous. I went from somebody who waking up at eleven for me, that's a good day.
I'm like, I just I just be so cooked.
I I woke up today at eight twenty and I was like, goddamn it, I wasted two hours. Goddamn it, I wasted two hours where I could have been working. Because next year, like everything's gonna end like that is. I've been waking up every day, not because I want to, but I have the anxiety of a woman who has like a red laser porner in her like peeking through her windows.
Every night, Like yeah, wait one second, damn well, I can't shout out who did this, will put it on the screen. But someone on TikTok thrue a million pictures of me.
It looks so awesome.
I was saying to Drew, like it is so crazy how many of y'all are so talented, and this is what it gets put towards. But honestly, it's amazing and it's perfect. Oh you're kicking the cloud box, make sure the speaker is fine. Well, I'm a bit fearful that Thanksgiving tradition we are going to lose it with our generation.
Like no, we're not like our.
Generation is not getting married, we're not having kids, we can't get houses, Like, where is that tradition?
We don't have tradition anymore? We can't.
This is the tradition.
This is it.
Because I was genuinely thinking, I was like, fuck, I don't go home for Thanksgiving.
Anymore because we gave girls too many rights, period.
And that's why, and that's why I'm saying next year is going to be amazing. And that's what I'm saying.
Yeah, yeah, oh my god, it's not even like funny anymore.
Like every time we joke about it, I'm like, right, right, anyways, I think Thanksgiving is going to fall off.
So also, we've already had a major it's flopping. It's actively flopping right now. And you know how I know why because Crumble Cookie. Oh my god, y'all, I have been crazy craving Crumble Cookie for literally months now, like I've been wanting it so bad, and then every fucking week they released the Nasties. Goddamn cookies I've ever seen, and like, I will not be spending my money on that.
The holiday season brings out the nastiest shit rand Baker's Randa, like the tradition.
I do not need to be eating black food.
Die.
I'm sorry, Like stop putting it in the Halloween cookies like purple food dye tastes like fucking dick and balls, Like it's so gross, like you know exactly what I'm talking about, even.
Like swear I want a fucking cranberry butter milk biscuit cookie like to me.
But it actually sounds good as fun.
That sounds disgusting.
But I am like so anti pie and fruits being mingled with my fucking sweets, like I don't want it. Literally, it's like discharge fucking cake, like I was gonna say, that's how I know charge cake.
It's literally just like a little gushy, a little wet like ugh.
That's how I know Thanksgiving is flopping because is crumble. I went to go get some and they only have fucking pies, Like are you out of your goddamn minds, god forsaken mind, Like, oh my god, and one of them literally does look like a poo poo platter like it literally looks like a diarrhea ship.
It's the one pie like butter pecan pie. Oh, you can't get me with that. I just didn't grow up in a pie household like Miami. It wasn't like a pie place. I never heard of it. No bitches were bringing pies out.
One of my dad's best friends, shout out Liddell. She would make pecan pies from pecans because we lived in an area where pecan trees grew, so she would collect all of the pecans and then make a bunch of pies and give them out to all her friends and family. That ship. I actually need to hit her up because that was literally like my most favorite thing about this time of the year.
I mean year for me is like tamales like my my like aunt aunt how. I was gonna say my thea, but that sounds so like Ashley Charno of me, just like that the.
Is that the pumpkin spice latte or that girl at.
Actually Trevino is this girl like it's gonna maybe gag a few people that I know who the fuck this is, But I'm like.
She's oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
Every time I say just a single Spanish word. That's what I feel like.
Like me, I'm like, I'm not and I'm never beating the Ya.
But I uh oh fuck, what was I gonna say? What was I gonna say? Fucking bitch? Damn Pete campis No, it was about a TikTok oh, y'all, there is the I think the greatest video ever happened on the internet recently. Like it's truly like I watch it over and over again, Like y'all know that picture of Ya in the backseat of the car at like one of the videos we made on Joshiah Shannon when she's like like she looks up. I can't even think about it and start crying laughing that picture.
I don't know how.
And I've tried to make that face for you a lot, because you, Josey love that picture, but I can't do it.
It was just like it makes me cry laughing even thinking about it when let alone seeing it. If it just pops up on my feet, I cry laughing at that picture. It is one of the greatest photos of Anya of all time.
Photo to you brings like the same amount of joy as like wicked dust to Chicipado.
Yeah, exactly exactly, or El Fabba the British Girl. But anyways, the.
Way they feel about getting the role the picture of exactly.
But I, oh my god, y'all this video brings me the same amount of joy. It is. This girl at like a traditional like Hawaiian luau, like the girl yes, and she's like vibing, she's living life. She meant no harm by it, and like I think that's why it's so funny to me, is because it is so pure and it's just like purely just like it's it's just funny. Like it's just like I don't know, like it just freaks me out. We'll play it here. But her fucking scream is like in her look around for like approval
is like so good. And I don't know, I just like moments like that make me think everything's gonna be okay, Like moments of like where we can all watch something and be like, oh, I don't you should have done that, but it's like we can all laugh with it. I don't know, so I know.
What you mean because it is just like like something about.
Like she was feeling herself.
Think about white women when they're experiencing culture, like they.
Can not fucking believe, dude, Like it really is.
Like like just like asking, like like using the language.
It's like the same thing as like a woman with a one year streak on Duel Dingo going to Mexico for the first time, Like you're not gonna meet someone happier than that woman in that movement like ordering for everybody at the table, it is somebody.
I thought you were gonna say the meme the damn I forgot?
Oh bitch, that's really good. None nope, none, one nope, and as there is none and I saw I damn I forgot.
Let me And it's really scary.
And also there's something about like there's something unraveling with internet culture right now, like it's it reminds me of
when we were growing up in Vine. So like Vine when it started was this platform and there were people who were our age right now, so were there were people who were like twenty three to twenty five making content like whether it was like a King Batch or like a le Le Pond who probably aren't that much older than us, but that's where they land in age range from my head, and they were making that kind
of content that was popular with other adults. We are seeing that with AI, if that makes sense, Like AI is use so much by older people to make dead serious things of like this is what the earth is going to look like in twenty years and all this shit, but we're seeing the counterculture of that being like stand culture, making funny memes with it and just abusing it in the dumbest ways. And it makes me miss being a teenager a part of counterculture because you.
Know, it's it's a lovely thing to be a teenager right now, a part.
It is, like it's always so nice, it's.
So fun for me personally to be a part of that as a teenager.
Oh sorry, I forget your eight Damn.
I forgot that. Will insert that video too. What Enya was referencing literally fucking iconic, like truly.
But it is really scary, like what people can make. But then I think about the shit we were photoshopping.
Like I'm James Charles and Whiteface. We gave him a platform and a career, and I don't think I'll ever forgive myself.
I don't think I wonder I will say, and he's like he's like, damn, fuck man.
Or if now he looks back at that and He's like, that's funny.
There's some tea there, but the greatest or no, no, I will say. I hate to say it, but I love his car review series. He like reviews, just like.
The straight man in you coming out.
And he's good at it too, Like he's good at it unfortunately, And I have to give flowers where flowers are due.
I just don't really care about things like that. But I also like, what do I really watch on my phone?
I can tell you, actually, I can tell you because the other day I had a phenomenon.
Oh wait, before we move on, can I say this AI thing while we're on topic, Oh, oh.
My god, and hold on to that and sit with that.
What I was gonna say regarding AI is I was on FaceTime with my parents and my mom was just showing my dad's Instagram feed and he was scrolling through it and like, there was this girl on his feed that popped up like three times. I was like, Dad, who the fuck is that? And why are you watching that? And this was the video I saw and I was like, Dad.
The fake girl?
What is this? This is an entire account of a girl AI girl with big knockers bouncing around and like it's all AI not real and it has eight thousand followers and my dad fully thought it was real. So there are other people that think that's fucking real, and
it's probably an entire market. And what's that one girl that was with Michaela, Little Michayla, Like she fell off after that photo with Epstein came out, Like let's talk about that, like little Michaela with Epstein, like come on now, but she fell the fuck off after like AI came out. But yeah, that literally just like oh.
Because little Michayla got boring as fuck once everybody could three D render like anything. Yeah, I'm trying the side Park vibe, and I don't know if I like it. Y'all tell me what you think, like.
You don't want their fucking onions. That's why I haven't asked a single fucking question about my haircut because I know I know what they're gonna say. But I would also hate hate for my name to be Nina right now, Mina just literally just vote, you.
Know, somebody who's named Nina needs to run for like high school president or wherever the fuck it is, like valid, Victor Valad.
Whatever the fuck it is. We didn't do that on my school.
I don't think we did that at my school, but maybe we did and I just didn't know, but we didn't do any kind of I ran.
For class president and didn't win, and I made custom pencils that I gave out.
That's con and I ran and I because you wanted it too bad that you exactly exactly you have to be kind of nonchalant, like I feel like only the kids who were.
Kind of like I want so bad. And then that was a very pivotal moment in my life where I fiended for attention more and wanted even more what I couldn't have, and now it created.
You're You're an empty pig.
You're avoid I'm a I'm a void of a person, but your whole is kind of an empty board, just like you put so many things that Yeah, you've put so many things in there.
It's just not funn Yeah, I ran through. Yeah, like they like, literally the turds just slide out. It's good.
I mean, they quite literally don't.
Like why we gotta talk about that?
I guess you got you.
You did, like reverse from being celibate too long, probably why you're more constipated.
I broke celibacy.
You're disgusting, you like actually a pole man.
Fuck, I don't know what we're gonna eat for Thanksgiving. By the time this ship comes out, Thanksgiving is going to be done. And like, I really don't know what I'm gonna do. I think I'm just gonna fucking like chew on my fingernails and get high.
I fingernails do taste good. I will say, fingernails and fingernail skin have been tasting like a lot better research.
Oh they've been too good because look at.
My nail the back.
I've been like been macking.
I've fully fully relapsed on the fingernail skin.
But nail biting is like one of the worst habits to start with, Like not drag, heroin, no, no, no, none of that, like not drug addiction, alcohol, Like it literally is just like nail biting is the worst, especially just as anxious people like bitch. I would actually know. I guess there's quite literally worse. But we pick at our skin.
That's what sucks is we're not bitch because I'm not just biting the nails.
My skin is getting bit up. I need my I need my cuticles to look clean. And now my new obsession is the nail clippers, which I actually think I said in an episode already, but I've been really obsessed with like cuticle cutters and that was the worst thing ever because this is really gross to tell y'all, but my anxiety has been so peaking recently that I have this new obsession with using the cuticle cutters on my toes, and at least twice a month I have an infected toe.
Just literally, no, I said, I don't think you heard me, but nail biting is the first gateway drug. They want to say, oh, weed weed weed, weed, weed, weeds. Nail biting is a first gateway drug, and then you get to or a pacifier. Maybe yeah, they train your mother's nipple. That's why I cannot believe that y'all let this.
Is very like natural, Like the reason I gravitate towards this, is there something like the divine feminine lives here?
Yeah?
No, literally, and my.
Babe, the divine feminine lives on the way.
I cannot believe that y'all let me breastfeed until I was twenty four and didn't say a fucking word to me. Like coming out of it, I was like, really sad, that I like didn't have my mother's nipple to latch onto, and anxious moments looking back, I was twenty four or most kids stop when they're like twelve months old, fourteen months old.
I'm confused. I thought you were seventeen. Just cut, just cut, just.
Vote just this fuck, just vote.
Fuck. I was gonna say something I forgot.
Oh, I didn't even tell them.
Because people think we like about your concussion.
I was gonna say, yeah, didn't Eve tell him about my concussion. But I literally got a concussion in the UK because I was like trying to FaceTime Luna and like Luna like asked for me too, having a connection. Yeah, but we can't have kids.
I knew exactly where your brain's Yeah.
I was like freaking the fuck out because my phone wasn't connecting because it was connected to the car that we were driving, and like you couldn't see me, and she couldn't see me, and she was asking for me, and I was like, oh my god, She's like not gonna think to ask for me again because I'm not showing up there for her when she needs me most,
when she's asking for me. So I was freaking the fuck out and then like I did it, like called her back like three more times, and it still wasn't connecting, and I was outside of the car, so I was freaking the fuck out and having a meltdown. And then I was just like walking through the threshold of our fucking wizard's thatched, nasty, fucking gross ass house and the doorframes are literally like fucking two feet tall and you
have to duck under every single doorframe. Well, I just didn't duck down far enough and I was like I was basically running at that point, and I ran straight into the doorframe fucking rigamortist immediately like shaking and dropped everything out of my hand, phone included, and was like I just was stunned, Like I literally got know.
It was like I feel like I'm a good gauge for if there's danger, And in that moment, I genuinely started freaking out too, because he was holding his head and there was we don't know if he hit his head on the wooden post of the door frame or I think you hit your head. There's a huge lamp there. That's what I thought you hit your head on, because
there's this like sharp metal lamp right there. I thought you hit your head on that and you were holding it and you were like muttering and not getting words out, and I was like, oh, my fucking.
God, he just split his head open.
And I started freaking out, and I was like trying to navigate going outside, and then I heard like Luna and.
Steven on the phone, so I picked up the phone.
I was like hi, and I'm like trying to just be normal because I don't want Luna to associate Drew's phone calls with like fix because Drew was like screaming and me and him were freaking out.
And when I picked up the phone, she did look a little starter, So I was like, oh my god, Hi, Luna. Luna doesn't give a fuck about you.
Don't fucking care.
Doo.
Yeah, Where's do? Where's do?
I will say, our hair being similar, was I think working?
Oh I didn't tell you. I called her after I got my hair cut and she was terrified of me. Oh really, she was horrified, but she like warmed that after a second, but she did not.
I was gonna say, because I feel like when my hair is like curly imparted in the middle and I get on the phone with Luna, that's when she's the nicest to me. If my hair is like pulled back or straight. Luna sees me and she's.
Like, mm, what was that? But yeah, I thought you was gonna die.
I literally gave myself a concussion by walking into a door frame, really embarrassing.
And at first, when you were saying concussion, because I grew up in such a lax household about health, I was like, okay, a concussion, Like a concussion has never sounded like shit to me.
I'm like, what you hurt your head? Boo fucking who?
And then I was looking into it because you were like really dizzy, and I was looking into it on my phone and I was like, oh my god, a concussion can fucking kill somebody. And then I got really scared to leave Drew alone, and me andres I refuse to leave.
Drew alone for in the next like.
Twelve hours because I went to sleep. I went to sleep, and I could have died in my sleep, and who knows quantum immortality, I could have died in my sleep.
You probably life. Do you like your new life?
Yeah, honestly, I feel a lot more at peace. The other Enya was a fucking bitch, bro. She was so annoying. But this Indya is like KNT.
I mean, I guess I could still take the compliment part of that.
Yeah, I mean you're just like so like like like usually yeah.
But you know what I've been realizing is as we've grown older, I really have just shut the fuck up for the most part.
Like that is not true, well, not with you, but I mean in like social oh yeah, yeah, yeah, like when we're.
Out at like a work event or something, I'm just like.
Right right, well, I mean you literally were laughing at that interpreted cancer guys.
Okay, we need to talk about this.
We need we really really need to address.
It, talk about it, because I was like, y'all are pushing it.
But this whole idea that I won't beat the mean girl allegations. Look around the rural up a lot of people fucking like me. Ho, I'm not actually mean. You might find I'm a fucking pushover and people pleaser and I'm too nice. And this whole front I put on for y'all is actually a defense mechanism because I'm tired of never being taken seriously. So when I get on camera in front of other people, I act a certain way.
But really, I'm a fucking pushover, and most people might find that they could slap me across the face eighteen times, and if they said sorry and they started crying, I would feel bad and I would erased the pain and I would be nice to them.
But the fucking this interpretive dancer like she killed it, let me get that out. Fuck great it was. It was the setup for how it happened that was really just bizarre and jarring. So we were all sitting mining our fucking business, having in dinner, like chatting up like whatever, whatever, whatever, and it was a vibe and then no announcement, no announcement. Then out of the fucking blue shad A starts playing in the fucking corners of loud as fuck like.
It goes from a normal volume of I keep saying volume, like volume different because all I can think about is Josiah making fit of house volume.
But the volume was very normal, speaking level. We were all speaking over it.
I can't remember a single goddamn fucking song that played before that moment, and.
Like so it blasts over the speakers and we're like there was.
A woman in so Mallia.
And it was just like it was like, oh, okay, like to switch up on the vibe cool. And then like out of the corner of my eyes, I see this girl in the middle of the room, just like what I thought, taking like cunty ass for me.
Yeah, I thought she was getting her ig picks.
I was like, pur she's work tear down, mind you, No one has made an announcement. My dumb ass is stuck in a conversation. Not stuck in a conversation. I was finally like, it was a work of that dinner. So when you're sat at these dinners, you're usually sat around a few strangers, and you have to get good at socializing just talking to new people. I'm not very good at that. It takes me a minute to ease into it. And I was finally easing into it, and
I was talking to somebody, getting to know them. We're talking about like La and Spain and like Miami, and we're just talking about We're deep in conversation.
At one point, me and him are the only ones still talking. Do you remember that?
Because like Alex had to be like something's happening, like to like get everybody to stop talking. So I'm yelling, screaming, this girl's back here and it looks like she's just getting her photos taken.
So I'm like, damn, she's getting her fucking pictures, y'all.
She we literally got flash mobbed with an interpretive solo dance and like I'm sorry, Like that is just inherently funny. Like she she again, she robbed. She was so fluid, her movements were amazing. She like bodied that song.
You couldn't pay me to learn how to do that, because that's something you have to be born to do or you just like don't do it. Yeah, but it was just like it went dead silent. Also, she's in this like gorgeous dress, and in any other situation, like if I saw this for.
A music video, I'd be like, damn, this girl is so good, Like this is amazing. There's just something you can't pull me.
It's like one time we went to our friend's concert and there was an opera singer for.
The first that.
For the first ten minutes, I like me and Drew could not stop laughing.
And then and then we got into it and it turned into there's a sincerity I've ever been.
There is a sincerity epidemic, and like I don't know why people being serious takes me laugh, but like it's it's it really is just a it's a defense mechanism, like you were seening earlier, Like it really was like there was nothing funny about it, but it was just funny.
Like the guy right in front of us, who I was talking to before, had he did have his phone in point five, and when she came sliding towards us, I was looking at his phone in that second, so I just see like the like.
The doorknob in substance. That is what happened, really.
Like her coming close to the camera and sliding towards this camera, and it just made me laugh. And I am so sorry. I had a feeling that was my biggest fear. The second all that stuff, I was like.
Oh my god. At one point during that I laughed, and there were people across filming and I knew.
I just knew someone got on camera, and I was like, without context, this is gonna seem like I'm just being a fucking cunt.
But I am sorry. Y'all listen to the podcast. You know, I am the least serious person.
I don't know if the context makes it any better, honestly, Like I mean, I don't know I don't know like it.
Maybe I am just a bit because I'm the same person who I can't go to haunted horror nights because the like theater kids are acting their ass off and they're like in the world.
Yeah, like I'll never forget. We were at one of those Halloween haunted house like places where there's a bunch of Halloween hunted houses. Why do I keep saying that? But there was one yeah scare actors, and there was one behind a fence inside of a building like climbing up on and that it was like the least scary thing I've ever seen in my life. But I screamed in fear for her because I wanted her to feel good and like she was doing a good jobs.
Like you have to remember I am not somebody who I live like. I don't really live a peaceful life. My life is over analyzing everything. And I'm sitting in this restaurant.
I'm like this fucking overly upper echelon thing, which I'm so grateful to be a part of. But I can't help but look around and be like, oh my god, this life is so funny, Like this is what opulence is. Like we always come back to this. We always come back to the same thing.
And like the fact that opulence is having just like a single human come in and like.
Dance for us, Like it feels so barbaric, but like it's a gorgeous thing.
But it's also the same thing.
Like when we saw the in the synchronized swimmers in person, that pushed me to a place that I never needed to be. There's just certain things that like my my search sitting.
See humans do that like just fun It's just it's it's not funny like this is this is the tea. It's like them doing it. It's like fine, not it's not funny like it, but it's just the fact that like we're observing them doing it that's funny. Like that's what's funny to me is I'm just like this regular fucking guy watching people swim in water or like watching someone climb on a fucking fence in his carehouse.
So to be clear, I literally grew up wanting to be a dancer.
So you're talking to the main person who I One thing I will always respect is a fucking dancer, because bad dance is bad, but good dance, Like she was such a good dancer I don't know how the fuck she had the saminu to do all that, because I would have fainted on.
The floor and everybody would have had to call the fucking ambulance.
We really would she.
Genuinely, she literally was doing a handstand and was like twisting her legs for her dress to flow, and that had me memorized. I was like, oh my god, she has the she has crazy upper body string. She could like walk around this room and knock all of us.
Out and once with punch. But just the sliding, the sliding, I think, is it's real?
It was. It was the spins. But anyways, sorry, we'll move on. We'll move on. Okay. I have a note that says, I don't know what this is referencing, but receipts have been pissing me off lately. Actually, no, I do know what's No, I know what it's referencing. Bitch. Fuck receipts. Actually literally fuck receipts. If you give me a receipt, I'm gonna freak out. Stop asking me. I know it's your job, but stop asking me if I want a receipt. No, I don't want that fucking receipt.
Like I literally don't, and then it's like, oh, like you need them for taxes. Literally, no, I don't like literally.
No outdated idea to me at this point for the most part, Like I understand receipts in terms of like return and to keep track of what you've spent, but because so many things are like linked to accounts and emails, just I always have my email linked to every.
Store, whether it's like it's Aphora a fucking Whole Foods, like I will be knowing.
What I I have one bank account and I can go in and just keep tracking my spending in there, Like I really, I do not need this fucking piece of paper covered in BPA horrormones.
Like I don't believe in the I don't believe in the harassment against receipt ink, so I think it's pushing it. We have much greater things to deal with. Leave the ink on receipts alone. No, that's like the bottom tier of what we gotta get.
Yeah, it's the bottom tier. But it's still like a thing that I think about when I'm touching receipts. I'm like, I don't want this, Like why is this in my hand? And then I think about the service workers that have to handle receipts all fucking day long, and I just feel, Yeah, that is bad. I feel truly bad for them because it's like they have to touch this vile, toxic piece of fucking paper. But anyways, receipt Imagine me, I.
Have to touch this mic all the time.
Yeah, and it smells like you're fucking vagiant. But I don't know why I said that. I really I don't know why I said that, And I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
Imagine those comments actually made me hella insecure about my gees smell.
I'm not kidding.
The smell of my vagina does not cross my mind wants a like ever, oh.
Baby cross his mind at least six times a day when you're laying in my bed, like.
Especially with the heated blanket on.
It's like when you sit like nuggets under a hot light a hot lamp at a fast food restaurant.
Yeah, it's like cooking, Like it's like salmon, raw salmon being fried in the air fryer. Oh my god, cooking fish in a microwave actually should be considered a war crime. And I'm not kidding, like it really.
Should be fish in your house. Period.
Remember when I was cooking salmon all the time, I had the house stick thinking the house was like humid with the scent.
Yeah, like it was really an ocean breeze.
It was really not okay, it was it was not fucking okay. Well, there's one last thing that I need to get off my chest before we go. And I have had a spider in the corner of my kitchen, of our kitchen for about six months now, seven months now, and he just lives in the open air. I let him do his thing. I let him make his webs, which you might be like, Drew, that's fucking crazy, like why would you do that? WHOA. I was gonna go and kill him one day, or like take down his web.
And then I looked closer and I saw about fifty fruitflies in his web. And then I thought to a moment about four months prior where I was like, oh my god, it's fruitfly season and I literally haven't seen a single fruit fly in our house. Yeah, this spider single handedly eradicated the entire fruitfly population in our kitchen
all on his own. So I was like, you know what, like he's actually doing us a service, Like I don't have to worry about these goddamn flies flying in my fucking nose, And the spider gets to eat and he's mine in his own business. He's not poisonous, like he's not gonna bite me. He's just he literally stays in that corner.
Only society could take.
Notes exactly, exactly exactly. He just stays in that corner, collects his bugs and just minds his own fucking business, and like I mind my own business. And it was like it was a very very symbiotic relationship, like I literally did not give a fuck at all. Well, I started to girl like a love for him, Like I really started to care for him, and like there it was points where I was spraying water onto his thing because I was like, how is he drinking water? Where's
he getting water from? Like do spiders drink water? I was doing a bunch of research, so I put water droplets on his webs, and like y'all, his web grew huge, and like I was actually proud of him, and I.
Will say, I let Drew have that.
But it made the corner of our kitchen look fucking batshit crazy. Every time I would clean, I would sit in this kitchen for like two hours working my ass off cleaning. Look around and I'm like, oh my god, it's spotless in here. But then there's the biggest cobweb you've ever seen your goddamn life in the corner.
Because it wasn't making for.
That pinterest like in so for the season webs. It was making nasty, fucking dusty webs.
Yeah, I thought his webs were bludded, like yeah, it was soggy bottom webs, like it was not giving.
C But but I understood what it meant for Drew.
So I so he was just chilling in there for months and months and months and months and months, and then like we're supposed to do this like photo shoot in our house this week, and so I was like, oh, we should get like a professional cleaner to come in and clean the house, and just like so it looks nice and so it's not fucking scary and dusty and nasty.
So before the cleaner came out, was like, oh, I need to put a note by the spider saying don't kill him, because I really I really did not want them to kill him, y'all.
They fucking decimated.
His ass, escimated him, like not a trace left. He's not there anymore, Like literally they got his desk.
It's all could have been a dream.
He never exists, like and then they like moved a bunch of shit into the corner so he couldn't remake his web if he is alive, Like they fucked his ass up in a crazy way.
And I'm not gonna lie. I actually cried. I literally shed a tear. Josiah watched me cry over my goddamn pet spider because like we did grow like a relationship, like we I gave him meals, I gave him water. He was like a cat to me, Like I took care of him, like he was like Mayazol. And it's the exact same as if a Zol died, like my spiders down.
You need a fucking animal or something in your life.
Bro, Yeah, I really do. But it was, it was, it was. It was a very dark time in my life, especially while being concussed.
Like it's just too much to handle. Yeah, well I slept for twenty four hours straight.
Oh yeah, I don't know what happened Saturday. She slept Saturday, Saturday, Sunday. What it day is? Saturday is Saturdayurday, Saturdays, weesday.
I don't know, yo, Drew, what are Saturdays for Saturday? No, Saturdays are for.
The Saturday Sunday.
No Saturdays, We're gonna.
Saturday.
Yeah. I don't know why. I slept twenty four hours. But on Friday night technically Saturday morning, at around two thirty am, I went to bed and we were really jet lagged, and we had a busy week.
That's why we didn't have an episode last week. And I was so fucking tired because we had like such long, stupid ass like talking days, like we just had to talk a bunch.
So I was just so tired.
I stayed up late so we could hang out with Josie before we leave for like work and stuff, and I go to sleep. I woke up at eleven, and I felt like shit about waking up at eleven on a Saturday, even though my plan was to spend the whole weekend just like lounging around and chilling. I woke up at eleven, I took my medication, and I sat back in bed. I knocked the fuck out. Woke up to Drew's haircut around like four pm, said a few words him about that, knocked back out immediately. I had
full intentions on staying up. I just knocked back out.
And I thought we had a dinner later that night. So I ran to Endya's room and I was like, bro, it is seven, you got to wake up for dinner. And she woke up for about ten minutes.
Yeah, and also mind you. I was like, I think I just got kind of sick, like I fully broke fever, because when I woke up originally at eleven, I had a crazy migraine. I felt nauseous. I had like swept through all my pajamas and all my layers, but I was still really cold. It was so weird. And then Drew tried to wake me up again and he was like, I figured out that the dinner wasn't that night, and he was like, dude, you need to eat something. And I was like, yeah, I'm gonna order something, like I'm
gonna order soup. I got on my phone. I don't remember knocking out. I just knocked back out, and then I woke up again at eleven fifty pm, and I was like, holy shit, what is happening?
But I couldn't stay up because it was already late and you were already asleep because I went to the bathroom, I didn't hear anything, and I was like, fuck, I guess I'd just go back to bed because it's not like there's anything open.
I don't have any food in the fridge. I'm just gonna go back to bed.
I went back to bed, and I woke up at four am, and I was like, fuck, I need to at least sleep for.
Two more hours.
Slept for two more hours, and woke up and just started my day at six am, and I was just like, I've never done that.
I've literally never done that.
I mean, you were sick.
Yeah, I fully.
Broke fever and I was sweating, and it felt nice. It kind of felt like again it was just going back to tradition. It felt like being like a fourteen year old who was going to die of the plague. And there was something about that that my like DNA, really yearned for and it felt really good.
I kind of love being sick. I'm not gonna lie. I love like having a cold. Like actually, no, I fucking hate colds because I have like fucked up sinuses, so I'm clogged up for like three months after I get a cold. But like having like the flu or something is kind of like a vibe like I don't know there's something to it, just like I think it really just goes back to me wanting to be taken care of.
I was gonna say, because the idea it sounds good to be taken care of, But I grew up in a family that didn't take being sick serious, so.
I don't know what that feeling is like. And now I can't take care of people who are sick because I have I just have where I don't take it serious from them, and then I don't take it serious for myself.
I just have preconceived notions of like what it means to be taken care of, like from like movies.
Yeah I know.
I'm like, I want somebody to come and put a wet rag on my head and tuk me.
Like if if I was sick and there no one else in my family was sick, I would be eating spaghetti for dinner with everybody else. I wouldn't get a special little meal. Yeah no, no, they would be like, you're either eating spaghetti or you're not eating.
Yeah. They'd be like, come sit up at the.
Time and projectile vomiting red spaghetti all over the counter has literally since that moment, I have not eaten spaghetti.
I love a good spaghetti though.
M Well, no infantilization with this comment. But my dream is to get given a bath. Like you know what really triggered that like want for it was in.
You, let me give you a bath. Let me give you a bath. I'll give you a bath. Come on, I'll like rub everywhere everywhere, and I can give you.
Fucking touching me.
Maybe that's why I like taking baths with my like girlfriends who I love, because it feels like being like sisters like to me, like taking a bath with a sibling is like so cute. But what triggered that thought for me was in Penn fifteen when Maya's mom gives her a bath in that really nice bathroom. I love that bathroom in the mood in the show. It's like
a Japanese style bathroom, which is my dream bathroom. And she gives her a bath, and it's such a cute moment and her and her mom are taking a bath, and I really want that because I wish I had a mom.
Okay, well, happy Thanksgiving guys. I hope you had a good Thanksgiving. I hope you ate lots of food.
What is it gonna take for me to do something like I? I will literally for weeks be like, Oh yeah, I think I'm gonna go do this, or I'm gonna do that, or I'm gonna start this painting or I'm gonna finish this painting. I'm gonna wake up tomorrow and do it. And I'm just gonna fucking do it and get it done, y'all. I've been talking about this goddamn painting, and every single night before I go to bed, I'm like, oh, I have some time tomorrow, I'm gonna go. I'm gonna
wake up and I'm gonna go start painting. Bitch. It has been three weeks. Two it's almost been two months. It's almost been two whole months since I've picked up that fucking paint brush to paint, And every single night before I go to bed, I'm like, I'm gonna paint tomorrow. There's something seriously, seriously seriously wrong with me and I cannot do anything and it pisses me the fuck off.
And if you have any goddamn fucking advice for me other than adderall, because I was on adderall in high school for my add and it made me wallpaper and I wanted to kill myself and I wanted to jump out of the window in my bedroom. I don't know how y'all bitches do it. It really really really turns off my brain in a way that's like not fun.
No, Adderall is the devil.
Adderall will make me if I'm driving my car when I'm coming down from Adderall, it will make me decide whether or not I'm going to crash.
Into a polan in my life. Yeah, it's and it's like really hard not to.
Yeah, all right, well, Drew Syop, you telling me a crab goon to this rag crab rangoon hashtag the underscore.
Do salami meat tastes like nickels and quarters?
Yeah? It does? I can, and sometimes I feel like I'm eating like a rubber bone.
Yeah, I really.
Don't like I like salami meat, but the taste it leaves in my mouth makes me feel like I just went outside and fucking.
Bit a cat.
Yeah that a cat tendon like.
The cat. Don't make me bite the cat.
Don't make me drink alone. Don't make me drink alone? Well, shit, where are my SOPs? There was one that Oh, here we go. This is a tweet from Christopher at Molock Official. It's increasingly clear that Ellen de Generes was at an environ or it is it's It's increasingly clear that Ellen de Generess was an environmentally significant apex predator in the media ecosystem. She'd have already extracted or she'd have no, I got it, I got it, I got it, I
can do it, I can do it. It's increasingly clear that Ellen DeGeneres was an environmentally significant apex predator in the media ecosystem. She'd have extracted all entertainment value from the hawk Tua Girl in a three minute segment and banished her back to anninemy, maintaining ecological balance. Oh my fucking god, it.
Is the realist twet ever, though.
It is extremely, extremely, extremely real and Ellen degenerous. You must die, Oh my gosh, she must die.
Well.
When Drew doesn't speak at my funeral, it is not because he is a psychopath.
It is because he cannot be trusted to go up to a microphone with any rink.
Yeah, yeah, it'll either have to come from my heart or not happen at all. And like babe, nothing of significance comes from my heart. We are living in insincerity epidemic, and I fear I am at the forefront of that issue. And I don't think I've been authentic or real with myself or y'all once in the last four years, let alone my entire life. I don't know if I am a real person, and I think I am a character, and I think I'm lost in myself and I can't escape.
But when I try to, my brain developed inside of this character. So I don't know if I am myself or if I am a character.
I know you.
Artsy girl Pussy will have you watch in a twenty four films and reading.
So it'll have you do the bare minimum.
Yeah, am I schizophrenic? Or is everyone kind of an op? Kind of an op? Congrats this time next year, you'll be paying ten cents less for milk. Also, your girlfriend is dead from sepsis and you've been drafted.
This is like me.
I think I've read this one before, but I have to do it again. I just called the Chinese place and said I need twenty five thousand wings. They said ten minutes.
That's good.
And then it's this emoji.
My curse of the week goes honestly like, I haven't had a.
Volatile week, Like, there's no way you've been pretty chill. Yeah, there's no one. You guys are lucky this time. There's no one to curse. I can't think of anybody to curse. Yeah, I have a curseless week.
No, there's gotta be someone out there that needs to be cursed, like pop culturely like I mean it's been We've been pretty chill like as a society, like recently, Wicked has definitely tamed the mind. Yeah, I want to see that goddamn movie so bad.
I don't.
Oh media popular.
I honestly don't have media.
You're gotta be popula ride, Brightest Horse in your Simple Sugar.
Hay Love by the Telphonics, give me just a little more time, Chairman of the boar Um.
That's it.
Oh ba babee um, I'm gonna say Frosty b York Till I Die, The Beach Boys and Requiem for a Father, The Dirty Column, Oh thirty thousand, one hundred million by Soldier Boy and Little Bee. Ummmm, Hoe Cakes MF doom. Yeah right, I honestly, uh did I watch any movies? I know I watched like eight movies on the airplane, I watched the Notebook finally. Wow, really wow. I thought y'all bitches were joking and exaggerating, but I fear. I cried and I shed a few tears.
Yeah, I need to watch the movie. I haven't seen it since I was like twelve.
But then I immediately forgot about it because something even more said happened to me and YA deleted every picture I've ever taken off of me.
He got it back, he got it back. I deleted every picture.
It was ninety dollars iteah, because I had to download the software and they wouldn't let me do it for free.
Pop.
But I could have gone to Sammy's camera, but I didn't find out until after I got them back. But fun fact, if you delete all the camera photos off your SD card on accident, don't format it, do not take any more pictures, take it immediately out of your camera and set it on the desk. Don't rewrite any data on it. Then take that SD card. Oh, then take that SD card to your local camera shop or call them before and say I need all the pictures
put back on my SD card. Or you can go online and find a software that will do it for you, but you had to pay eighty bucks, but it worked. Some of the pictures are glitched and like lime green, but like for the most part, my favorite pictures were untouched.
Untouched XO, let.
Me polish your pearl.
What the hell I saw? I saw the TV Glow. That was a good one. I saw Girlfriends. It was really good, but it was kind of slow, but it was good. It was good.
Nonetheless, I saw this thing called Gabe Horn.
What is that?
It's like when a man and another man do sex.
Is that real?
Yeah?
No, that has to be a bitches need to stop saying small world and just say I fucked him too, all right bye.
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