Welcome to emergency intercom.
I was gonna do, like, welcome to this upside up. You didn't You obviously didn't pick up on that bot.
Yeah, I didn't pick up what you were putting down. I didn't smell what you were pooping out.
Why did we find love in a vibelest place?
I think we found love in like a hellscape.
Way, what I'm saying, our hellscape is a vibeleist place. It's a vibelest place to be.
If you ask me, if Lana del Rey said we found love in a hellscape, I would have busted in that and literally busted in that and slipped in it and broke my skull.
Like Yeah, one time I was talking about a couch I had on like a celebrity, and I just went on the crazy nastiest. I was like, if they fucking score, I would only be so lucky to like be running down the hallway and like slipping it and get a concussion and wake up in a hospital bed and like the only thing they could give me is ivy fluid of their squirt to like bring me back to lusts.
Like fucking crazy, And I was all off top of dome. But we were just in our separate environments just now. And I was like on TikTok while they were setting up in here or I don't know what the fuck hew we're doing in here. I heard weird sounds. But anyways, I was growing on TikTok and I heard or I found this account that like makes t shirts. The shirts are actually fucking sick, and I literally am gonna buy one.
If she sells them or if they sell them, I don't know, but the basically what she does is she takes the shirts and she cuts up the letters of the shirts and like makes them into like different ones. Like there was a Hello Kiddy one that said she made it say like I am a toilet and then she just like em sews it into the shirt. It's really ill, But oh my god, why don't I just say.
You need this?
I say that that was really that was weird.
It's super true.
Not Ben Trill for real Ben Trill. But she pulled out this baby onesie. It's a onesie for an infant that says lock up your daughter's baby gap nineteen eighty nine. Crazy fucking vibe.
Dude. That's like such a common thing. They still sell those shirts That's a crazy thing is we've gone so far in society, but we're still giving little baby boys lock up your daughter.
Yeah, your daughter's.
Better run in fucking high your daughter better.
I'm gonna fucking kill your daughters, Like my son is gonna kill your daughter.
Wants to be some weird and the like, Oh he's so handsome, he's gonna literally steal your fucking daughter.
And lock him up in the basement.
I had, I had a lock up. I had a lock your daughter's shirt that I got from like Walgreens forever going. I remember I was doing a brand deal for this watch company and it.
Was Daniel Wellington. Yeah, oh dude, my dad brother loved my Daniel Wellington munch loved it. But I actually got it back, really why because he died. I wanted it back so bad for like years, and he wouldn't give it back to me, and then so you.
In the end, well, actually no, it was for a fucking glasses company. It was for Glasses USA. But I had that shirt on and it's a picture of me like sitting at a table, but like you could see the shirt on, which I don't know why I thought I'm shooting a brain deal, I should wear my lock up your Daughter shirt, like I don't know why I thought that was gonna slide, but they were like cold. She retake this with a different shirt, and I was like, Oh.
You're so annoying that I know that boiled your blood because that would have pissed me the fuck off.
I was like, these pictures eat, You're like literally tripping like I'm gonna post them, and that that photo did eat. But I think I had to edit it so if you see the shirt, it looks like just a black shirt or something like I edited it somehow that I didn't say that, yeah, which I don't know how I did it, maybe in phase two, and I don't know. I don't know how to. I'm not a photoshop kind
of girl, like honestly something. If someone held a gun to my head and was like, you need to photoshop this, I'd be like, no, I know people, I know people.
I know literally like I would rather die than photoshop. But for some reason, I use photoshop literally maybe twice a year where I actually have to use it for work, and I am subscribed all the way throughout the year, and it is sixty dollars a month, which is saying,
fucking crazy package. No easy, Yeah, it should be illegal to charge that much for that shit, because like six hundred and seven and twenty dollars a year for something that I could a bot for fucking twelve dollars, Like, y'all are psycho, Like.
I know it's insane.
I'm in a pirate shot. I'm starting a pirate ship, like I.
Know we need to get back to that, like why we've come around the bend and now we know we can steal from big conglomerates, so we have to start doing it digitally, Like there needs to be more digital theft.
That shirt. That's like you wouldn't download a car, would you?
Like?
Yes? I literally would like what are you talking about? Yeah?
If I can illegally downloading, I would do it. What are we talking?
Oh my god, I got a three D printer it's not here yet, and he's gonna download. I'm gonna download a Bougatti in three D, print it in my like micro printer nine inches at a time, and put it over my car. Right But there. I I know we knew do media at the end of the episode, but I had to fucking talk about this show that I've been watching Have you heard of Tiger King yet?
What is that?
It's this dude, Joe Exotic. He's a gay like cowboy that owns.
He's gay and he likes tigers.
Yes, it's really crazy, and he's just like such a show.
He just likes tigers.
He's such an eccentric character that that's all it really needs. And then there's like murders and ship but yeah, it's really amazing.
And then Squid guy did like the world not believe that. I know, it was crazy, we couldn't believe it. But it was also because it was a week in to Lockdown.
And we were like, dude, I want to go back to Lockdown so fucking bad, Like literally, take me back. That was the best time in my fucking life. It won't get sweeter than that.
When I'm tired the creator, I'm like, take me back, take me back, take me back, take me back, take me back, take me back, take me back.
But yeah, there's also a squid game.
Oh what's that about?
She couldn't tell you.
I don't know, explain that one. So this guy gets taken into a car, right and you're like, why are seeing this car? But then he's in a Mister Beasts video.
Yeah, oh oh they made that.
They made like a mister Beast but like with murder.
Oh wow, yeah, it's kind of.
Crazy, Like I hope he got his like checks for that. Why did he remake that?
Why did he laid stage capitalism?
Like that's what I.
Got built up and then just fucking destroyed.
Yeah it might actually still be. It might be he should have done it, turned it into a museum.
Just gonna say, he should have turned into like a like a selfie museum.
He's gonna get team whoa.
Oh my god.
Wow.
By the way, I literally have a throbbing head.
Is that where you were looking for Adville this morning?
Yeah? I need it so bad.
And you drank wine last night, but done too.
I never drink wine, But like, don't sit me in a room with other girls and some alcohol, because a mask talking will happen.
A mask talking with Pops there from the other night.
Not everyone one of them was, but not the one. Mm. Okay, so Dune too, yes, which I don't know why they need another.
One because that show is our new Star Wars. It's like it's like, okay, look at like one of the new farm style houses that are being built, like the white ones with the black trim, Yes, the James Charles houses, and then look at a mid century model house like it looks like that in the seventies. I forgot what point I was. What did you say, Oh what Dune? Dune is the mid century modern from nineteen seventies house, and Star Wars is like the fake farmhouse, fake farmhouse.
Like that's equivalent. I know, that's like what I'm saying is like it's just elite better, big tall windows like come like that's it.
Well, I don't know that I agree, and I haven't seen Dune, but I've been forced to watch the lost Star Wars movies in my life, and unless they also have a horny scene where a big slug captures a girl in a bikini, then I don't know what's his name?
Oscar Isaac naked as fucking due, Yes, and he's naked and hot in it?
Why you tell me that? Like now I haven't probably told you.
Yeah, but it's kind of like tragic where he's naked, but it's like literally fucking lit.
See his Wiener.
No, they don't allow that, but you basically do. I mean when they were you basically did in like scenes from a marriage. Yeah, true, he was. It's love sexualizing people.
I know I need to suck like anytime he gets brought up, if he gets becaumes really very real.
But I realize that I'm violently dehydrated, and if you took me to a doctor, I haven't been drinking water like I really haven't. And my skin is like drying, cracking and nasty and like it's fucked up.
But well, it's also because it got back to being cold as fuck in La, which is so annoying and very scary because I don't think it's supposed to feel like this. It may here.
It's really weird. It's like for like two years in La.
I know, imagine it was like this literally forever. I would literally bust on like that would be so fucking I think.
I would kill myself because I love this weather. But I am like, can the sun come out?
Like the sun is really good day.
I wanted to be hot so I can pop my shirt off. I haven't really been able to.
Maybe it would be good at the weather side like this.
Yeah, I was not to say it would be nice if kaket his shirt on or the weather stayed.
Also, I realized now my new fear is when I meet new people and then the I like the topic of jobs comes up and I'm like, oh, please don't talk to me, Please don't talk to me, Like it's like everybody's like talking about what they do. And then I know it's gonna be like in slow mo when something embarrassing in the show happens and like they turn to me and they're like, what do you do for work?
They like freaking out that I literally say I'm the word.
Really try to like disappear, Like when I see people talking about work and I know, like there's a chance that they turn to me, I'm like.
I evacuate the room. Though I literally if someone asked me, I literally say I'm the eyeword, like I'm I'm an influencer unfortunately. But then I'm like, no, I'm fucking not. But like here I go saying I'm a podcaster, Like.
I say that, I'm like I have a podcast a YouTube, Like oh, I'm one of those people who has a podcast with my best friend.
But what they don't know is that we're one of the most successful podcasts in the world. They're assuming we're.
O what they do know is that that's not sure.
Oh trust the analytics.
The analytics don't.
Yeah, exactly, the analytics tell the truth.
Did beget amber?
Oh a be real notification?
Oh well mine was a PayPal taking money from me for uber eats?
Whoa Also that should be put into like a scientist's room and studied that One phone vibrated and we all looked at ours immediately, like there's.
Something vibrated at the same time. That's why I thought it was mine.
There's something really scary about that, really scary about that.
Well, I think in ye olden times, if the phone rang, everybody ran to the phone.
You fucking.
And I know you're madjevious of what I just did. I didn't get a green apple. Green Apple's the best jolly rancher. They changed their formula. It's bullshit.
That is crazy that you think green apple is the best flavor.
Oh yeah.
But then when somebody asked me what I do for work, and then I say that, and then it's the next shot of question is like what's the name, Like what's the name of your podcast? I'm like you shouldn't listened to it, and like you don't have to listen to it because I was like, I'm gonna listen. I'm gonna listen. I'm like, you don't one, you don't have to say that. Never feel like you have to say that too, Please don't.
Thankfully, most of the people that asked me what I do are random people from Grandberry, Texas that like I kind of don't give a fuck about. So I'm just like whatever whatever.
I'm just always meeting new people because I'm so sociable. So it's like mm hmm, it's like worst thing ever for me.
Okay, well did that come up last night?
Yeah? Oh, but I was. It was funny because like it's usually okay when it's people around our age. When it's older people, that's when it's really hard because I'm like, oh my god, you're gonna think like I should be like working in the mines like or something.
Well we yearn for the mind but minecraft.
But they were like they're like around our age, and but in my head, I was like, damn, we're having such a good conversation that like now I feel like she's gonna listen to the pocasts and be like it's more fun talking to her in real life than hearing this yeah, which is probably true because I'm just like when I walk into a room, I fill it with joy and piss because I'd bee everywhere.
Wait, what I do want to talk about? I'm so fucking stupid for having this jolly ranger in my mouth as I'm like literally speaking, But I wanted to talk about get out my drug dealer horror stories from when I live back in Texas. Oh yeah, I just want to talk about that. But I I'm going to go to tart my mouth real quick.
Hello.
I'm sure this is like a universal experience where they're like local drug dealers, like twenty three, twenty five, and all of his clients are sixteen seventeen year olds, eighteen year olds from like the high school, the local high school, which is the number one horror story. Is like that environment is so scary, and I'd see like my homies that were the same age as me just like chilling on the couch with this grown ass man, and it
was really fucking eerie and scary. But I'm sure that's a universal experience.
That's not He's a drug dealer being hella old, yeah, and.
Just being creepy with like younger girls.
Yeah, that's like so classically like drug dealer vibe.
But this is a story unique to me, I'm sure, and I cannot believe I haven't told this on the podcast, probably just to protect the like people, but no one knows who I was friends with at the time. But
we had recently switched drug dealers. We had recently gone from the one really close by my house to the one close to the high school, which is like fifteen minutes away, and he lived in like an apartment complex literally, so the apartment complex is here, the police station and pseudo courthouses here, and then the high school is like right up the streets. So it was like really really
crazy to be like selling drugs out of there. Actually it might have been a good facade, but anyways, he was like dealing out of there, and we went there, and this is like the first time he invited me into his house, and I did not want to go in there, but like basically it was one of those situations where he was like holding the weed like hostage and like making you hang out with him because he's
so lonely. Well, we got into the house and we're just chilling on the couch and it's me and two of my buddies that I'm not gonna mention my name, and we're just hanging out in there, and like it is like nasty fucking vibes in there, like a single couch with like nothing else in the room. Like there's a bedroom at the end of the hall, and you can see through the door that we well, maybe he.
Just believes in like min over, so you're.
Just being judgment I mean, he had bread because he was like the only other drug dealer in our hometown and everybody needed to like put drugs in their system
because like there's nothing to do there. But you could see through his bedroom and see like that as half of his mattress was showing, and that he had like a pile of clothes next to the bed, and like it was just really really bad vibes and we're just like chilling there and then all of a sudden, he brings out a pipe and we thought it was weed, and then he went up to like my so I was really close with one of the dudes that I was with, and then like byproxy, was with the other
kid and he went up to him. Thank god it wasn't fucking me, and was like, if you want your weed. You're gonna have to smoke this and like prove to me that you're not a cop. And we were like, we're fifteen, sixteen years old, we're not fucking cops. Like what are you talking about. And he went up and was like I'm literally thirteen. Yeah, I'm literally a child. And he was like, you're gonna have to prove that you're not wearing a wire and like that, like you're
down with the shits or whatever. And we were like, oh, well, like okay, it's just weed. Thank god it wasn't me. Well, he like had the pipe and this was like one of those or so I thought was one of those pipes where it was like the bowl and you hold it like this with the carb right here and you hit Yeah. I thought it was one of those until he started lighting the bottom of it and we were like,
I've never seen weed belt like that. I wonder if it's like like in my thought process was like, oh, I wonder if it's like like heating up the cannabinoids and like it's almost like vaporizing it instead of like smoking it and helling it. And then I saw like a giant plume of smoke fill this like orb and I was like, this is fucking crack, Like this is meth or crack or like I don't know what the
fuck it is. And he made my homie literally smoke meth in front of me and like it was the craziest fucking vibe ever, and like I didn't want to, like I happened to the kid like what he actually was like hell yeah he was. He was he like bodied it, like.
For being like this might be my new slag.
Yeah. No, literally, like it was. It was really insane and like so dark. Yeah, but like he was fine, We're all fine. But literally I never went back to that house ever again, and I never owned weed again because I was like, fuck that. I don't want to own this shit, my.
God, dude, Literally, I just want to see if you're chill.
Yeah, Like I want to make sure to.
People when they come to the house and be like I just want to see if you chill, Like hit this pipe, crag, hit this pipe of unannounced drugs. You don't trust me, my fucking god, My friends don't trust me anymore. That's what I say. Just close your eyes. I'm like, wait, you should close your eyes because I'm gonna give you a surprise and then make them smoke mas.
Did you chick fil a last night?
No?
I literally got it this morning because I woke up and I stood up in my fucking head like pounced from the back of my skull to the front, and I was like, I need food so that I'm not nauseous, because I was really nauseous. And then I had like five chicken nuggets and I feel a little better, a little a little bettle.
Do you know what a gravity bond is?
Yeah, it's like within the big jug and you like pull it out. Bitches are so desperate to get It's like that's when it's like, okay, just do math. That's when I'm like, just do the fucking math, bro, Like you need you need something more because you're literally like you're defying gravity for like a weed high right now, Like.
You're like pushing it into your lungs at like a crazy rate. Like it's really really dune. What you just need to Like I did it once out of a fireball bottle. It was really sick, actually, and that was flying. Yeah, I mean I literally probably was fine. Ironically, it probably was.
Dude. I can't imagine you doing that. Did you freak the funk out.
Yeah. I literally laid on the couch like grueling like I'm good. I'm like good, Like it was fucking crazy. And then on the drive home, I had my head up against the window and it was like we were coming from like a bumpy gravel road and like I was.
Like literally, yeah, I couldn't like control my body and it was like bouncing off the I forgot.
To wear a hat. I get to see my hair.
Yeah, I just get you a helmet.
What we gotta get is a haircut. But in the back of the car, like I was in the front seat, but like it was like and I was like moaning, and he was like, oh, we're almost out. We're almost out of the gravel road, like I promise, isn'tna be good? Like, oh, my fucking good.
I was just like choked on air.
But yeah, that's my gravity bowing story. I could tell you my dad story. The one and only time I did a dab.
Dude, if I did a dab, I think I was fucking like I was in a bathiz.
I don't know how y'all do that shit, Like, yeah.
I know it's like that. Bitches are like yeah, I'm gonna swoke this joint rolled in wax, rolled in uh with a dab on top with keith on it. I was saying, like, why don't We got into a conversation last night at dinner where one of our friends was like, if your friend was like on their deathbed and they did see yourself teacher, and they were like this is so crazy and you're gonna laugh at me, but I really want you guys to eat a piece in me
before I get cremated or anything. And he was like, would you do it, like if one of your friends was like, oh, like yeah, like if like your artist friend was like I've used my hands like all my life and like they're so meaningful to me, like because I made all this art. I would love if like a like each friend like had a piece of meat to eat from my hands.
Or I literally eat the skin off my fingers and toes and my toe. It was like I don't give a fuck, wait, I will eat someone.
And then I was saying, I was like, girl, fuck all that, why not just like roll my ashes like their keif like put some wax on a joint and then like roll the joint in my ashes and then just smoke me. I'd be down for someone to talk.
I wouldn't do that. I don't think I would eat someone.
You would rather smoke someone than eat them, because I feel like smoking them is kind of too I know, but I'm like disgusting, so and I'm okay, that's well to be To be clear, I would do both. I don't care.
Really, Yeah, I wouldn't eat a piece of someone if it was like weird.
If it was like mixed into like spaghetti Boulonnai's like it was like a little piece of meat like mixed in and I it in now, Like I would literally.
No, I would like, I'm like, I need a chef to like go crazy on it, like it's not it's not like just fucking boiled droo. I mean I think I need like a chef to come in here and like prepare it on a really big white plate and it's like the tiniest piece of food with like a little like garnish.
Like shashimi style.
Like hell no, you would taste like ship to taste like.
We're talking about, I would taste like jolly.
You would have the reddest meat ever from all that red Ford. It tastes like, jolly, your meat would look like wagoo steak because it would be so rare.
Yeah, I literally would. Yeah, you're right. Five No.
Deer ankles Los Angeles literally tastes like fucking rabbit tail.
Okay, Like I know, the whole joke is like, how can you get like twenty nuggets for two dollars from Windy's. I don't give a fuck because those are like the best nuggets on the market right now, and I will die on that hill like they're so young er.
Yeah, I agree, I'm like so over McDonald's.
Like I've also watched a new video of how McDonald's chicken nuggets are made, and it's literally ground up fucking bones. It's literally bones ground up into a But that's pretty good for you.
Then, Yeah, isn't that Like that's what.
Like collagen is. Collagen is bones.
Yeah, that's why people are like, oh, drink bone broth because you'll get the nutrients of the bones.
And that's why don't drink bone. Yeah, that's why collagens or vegans can't have like collagen because it's mainly like cowbones.
I knew that, but like watching the video completely change it for me because it's like little fucking chicken skulls and beaks, like going into a grater and coming out as his pink goop and it's like.
A mascrated that's kind of like a crazy full circle, you know, like Native Americans would like use the entire an like it's kind of lit.
Like, so now I think I'm back to.
Yeah, maybe how that goes?
Y'all just do everything against me now you know you are finished, y'all. You're a Devil's advocate kind of guy.
I am wait? Why am I double's advocate? Is that a song? Oh? I know, I know, but dude, that was crazy? But no, I think that's a song. Yeah it is.
You remember Zoon's zoom zooms. You any asking for an iPod for Christmas and you got a fucking zoom. Let me see what this is, suck balls. I wanted one though, because I wanted to be different so fucking bad. It was terrible. Even as a child, I wanted to be different from everybody else, and I would make sacrifices in
technology to be different. Like I would be like, oh, I don't want an iPod, like I want a zoom or I don't want an iPhone I want any android, Like something is serious wrong with me, Like it's crazy.
I've never seen this before.
Really, zoom have you seen a teenage engineering fifteen?
Oh? Yeah them that I did see?
These reminded me of a zoom the mic. Yeah, this thing. Yeah, we were gonna buy them for the.
Podcast, but they're so expensive.
But yeah, here I go.
They kind of reminded me of a zooon a little bit.
Why do they play?
I know that was online too, and it scratched the fuck out of.
Me last Like this has like a bar thing in it? Like is this so that? Like I don't steal it from a store, Like I don't understand, I don't get it. Yeah, I'm wearing the Jenny x Calvin Klein before it's out, like it's just chok.
Yeah, and I slept in it last night. You got any baby names?
No, honod like I might name my kids like after like dead people. I know, hm, you know, keep them going.
Yeah that makes sense, even.
Though that's not what that does for your soul and it doesn't cure you. But I'll do it.
When I name my kid trauma.
I'm gonna say my kids bond, so trauma bond. Oh my cousin, but we have to give them trauma so that they actually bond over trauma. So it's like it's it's a funny story. Actually, like her name's trauma bond and we like bonded over trauma.
My cousins. What I don't know immediately, Well, my cousin's children. He has two boys, I think three now. He's obsessed with the Texas Rangers, specifically Nolan Ryan, and he named his children Nolan and Ryan Dale.
I'm gonna name my kids Michael and Jackson Billy and Jean. Also, I think I've said this already, but I gave them Billy and Jean. That's all me. That is literally all me, and I won't let them have that. Josiah and Lucas call themselves Billy and Jean because one time they were on set with me for that stupid ass brat show I was on and I told the director. I was like, yeah, these are my friends, Billy and and I also made Billy and Gene.
We are not your lovers.
So I own a percentage of that podcast, whether they know it or not.
Yeah. Yeah, Well, also, I.
Can't say that you're awesome.
I can't say that.
Well let me look at my notes, because I have two really awesome notes. Guys, don't even worry.
Oh, I got a good one. So I've been using TikTok. So there there's this like idea like kal phone, cocaine phone. I'm sure you've literally heard of it. I've been like going down cocaine phone route. It's like weird stock bro crypto side of the Internet bullshit, but it's basically the idea that like kal phone is like, don't use your phone at all, cocaine phone is like, it's the most powerful tool humans have ever had access to. Why would you not use it to the full distability? Get to
fucking phones? Like that's the idea. And I've been like cocaine phoning, and I unintentionally because I'm addicted to it and it's really bad and embarrassing. But I've been going like down the craziest TikTok rabbit holes, and I found this thing called TikTok battles. I'm sure you've seen them before.
The live stream.
You know what it is. It's basically you go live, Like say you went live and I went live, we could do what's called a battle together and basically all it is is your fans giving you money and me money, and whoever gets the most money by the end of like the two minute thirty second timer wins and moves on to the next And like there are people making like sixteen thousand dollars a week doing these TikTok live
stream battles. Like it's really the most insane, dystopian shit I've ever fucking heard of in my entire life.
That is so unreal. Like we should do.
It, I know, Like should we try it?
Yeah, we should just do it.
Money need to get the money.
They just stand there.
They literally they're like, come on, guys, like we need to beat them, Like we need to beat them. Come on, Like it's close with.
Kids who like give the money, Like it has to be like really young people who just have like a card attached to the accounts.
I don't know, but the FTC is gonna sue the fuck out of TikTok if so, just like Fortnite got taken down.
Yeah, because I feel like a lot of people who have people who are sitting there buying ship for them on live is it's usually children, I think, or maybe I don't know, maybe there are maybe it's like the how there's like twitch viewers who are down to like donate, But that makes more sense because most of the time it's like either like a live kind of podcast style thing and then like a gamer or something. But like for to literally be like come on, guys, please please please please, got.
I gotta be like it please, it's crazy. Also, TikTok implemented like drop shipping onto their platform now, so basically like say I like had this water bottle, and like I had like a drop shipping palette somewhere I could like open up a shop on my TikTok page where TikTok takes like fifteen percent to like do it, and like it's basically a storefront on your TikTok page, but you never have to really own a product because like
you can just ship it straight from China. And like the Warehouser was created in like it's really so insane.
That app is like actually fucking mini it's.
Going downhill, Like it's it's really really crazy. I mean it's been going downhill for the last fucking four years since it's Genesis, But like I fucking hate the direction it's going and it's just like WHENU instagram implemented marketplace, everyone was like, what the fuck is this? But they have to make money somehow.
Like I know, I will say now, like people fully use it, Like there's so many accounts that I follow from my dad things. Yeah, I've never bought anything from the Instagram like marketplace because that's insane and I'm not crazy like your dad, but I will say I do.
Look, it's actually hilarious, Like he ordered like what he like, you know, those like inflatable giant sharks that like you can control with like a remote control and they like float around. He thought he was ordering that because that's what was advertised, but it was like twelve dollars. No,
it's twenty five ninety nine. And when he got it, all he got was like a bubble maailer, this big and a plastic toy shark was inside and he got scammed so fucking hard and by the time he went to dispute it, like he couldn't find the listing anymore.
Dude, that is so insane for that to be happening off of instagram dot com. That sounds like a like two thousand and one eBay problem. Like it's like who's this big thing for like three dollars. We've talked about this, so how scared it used to be buying shit online where it's like.
You're probably shipping a bomb to me right now.
Well, I decided my only gripe with like gender neutral bathrooms is that most restaurants aren't actually making like nice gender neutral bathrooms. What they're doing is just ripping off their old sign and putting on the neutral sign onto a bathroom that smells a fucking eighteen years of urinal piss.
And I don't want to be in that pal. Anytime I am in a fucking bathroom or in a restaurant and I see the gender neutral signs, I will literally open each one to see which one has the urin a urinal in it, because I refuse to sit across from that thing, like it is so nasty. There's piss all over the floor, It fucking stinks, like you don't flush the piss, so it's just sitting there until it
like slowly drains. Like I like don't understand urinals. I think they were so poorly engineered because you're literally getting pissed all over your pants. Like every man you know has pissed all over his pants. Like there's no way it's not splashing back all over your jeans.
That's what urinal cakes are for. What it zoom and they stopped the splash bit it's supposed to absorb it.
I don't think it does a good job because every time I go to a bathroom, the water the floor looks like they did like a half half like glossy like speckled decoration on the floor because it's like you see all the piss.
Bad seed that will piss on the floor and ruin it for everybody else.
Crew doesn't get any piss because he'll stick his dick into the hole.
That is a good idea.
All the way down theah.
I mean it drains better. Yeah, U Plus it feels good.
And it's super considerate.
There's like mold and ship in there.
Yeah, okay, it was good. Well that was my ramp because I hate being in stinky bathrooms that are just like the bathroom that boys are still using, Like men are just gross and yeah and they stink.
I have to agree men's bathrooms are fucking vile.
Fucking insane. Like the sun you at the room, that's what it smells like. Walking past the men's bathroom, but they are poor, Like that's what it smells, Like, what the fuck was I gonna say? Oh? Also, it's crazy what hot people get away with.
Like I know, dude, I can get away with so fucking much like my whole life, Like I do bad shit and people are just okay with it because like I have pretty privilege.
I don't think that happens to you.
It's really it's really hard for me.
No, because you don't even do much, so like you definitely don't like you're not like using not no hot people privileges. Like there was this girl who's like really gorgeous, like sexy hot, and then she posted a video just her straight to camera like raw style, like yeah, it was her piece to cam and she's just singing her ass off and like she's not a singer, she's just
like a really gorgeous girl. And it genuinely shocked me so much because I've never seen her talk, let alone like start belting her ass off to camera on Instagram dot com. And it was obviously a video that she recorded outside of stories and then later on went back and looked at she's like I gotta post this, like it's too good.
But it's only away with.
It because she's so sexy.
Like singing is like so embarrassing, like it really.
Really like why is it humiliating people who could like kind of sing who are just like really about it. It's like, no, you shouldn't do that. But if I got on Instagram stories right now and with my whole chest started singing my life away, people would genuinely make fun of me until the.
Day I like Yever, ever, ever, like, if.
I wanted to go into singing, I would have to like learn how to play guitar and like be in the dingy room and recorder on a film on like a like a film camera or a tape recorder and have it like be this like artistic like body of work for people to be like, Okay, I kind of get it, like I kind of see where she's going. But if I just got up in this outfit right now, put my phone up and started singing, like, people would be like, what the fuck is happening with her?
Like and people would think it was a joke.
Like what if you found out like a year of me working with you guys on this that I had a TikTok account where I would like it wasn't me by Shaggy like I would yeah.
I would you, I'd say, we have to let we have to let you go.
We found really disturbing.
So he discovered a part of you that I don't think you ever wanted us to see. If it was like a different song, it would be the best day of my life. Like if it was like an Adele song or something that you really liked from like her first album, and you were singing it all the time, I would literally have a joy ride with that, Like I would be like, this is the craziest thing I've ever seen. I would show it off at parties like it was a trick. I'd be like, do you all
want to see something crazy? And then I would.
Tire you really earnestly belting it out.
Yeah, what if you guys found out that I was singing.
Whoa what what would you be singing? And the hypothetical I.
Don't know, just like that scheerin m h what is that lyrics?
Though?
Wait, hold on, what is that lyrics? That he in love with my body? Cal him ed Sharon, he in love with my body? What the fuck does that mean?
Well, because I think he says he has this song, I'm in love with the shape love you.
I've been trying to sell body. Wow, figure that out, dude, I hear.
If I go into a bar and that song is playing, I know it's gonna be the worst fucking thirty minutes of my life.
I love what the Shape you?
Or like like that playing in like a kind of deserted mall is so crazy, Like it.
Is a creepy ass vibe. It's a dangerous vibe.
That's a song that has played in one too many bands on this planet.
Like also, I know everything is fake because how hyperinflated Ed Shearon and Selena Gomez Spotify numbers are. Nothing is real, It's all bots. Like I haven't heard someone play a Ed Sheeron song once in my life other than inside of a mall. And that does not account for fifty seven trillion fucking listens?
Does he have like the most listeners? Like who has the listeners on.
The weekend right now? I'd say the weekend Ed Sheeron Justin Bieber is always top containing and sal Edge Sheers.
A bunch of Latin artists too that have like oh yeah, j Valvin up there now.
So Yeah, it's like Edge Sheer and Drake, The Weekend, Taylor Swift, Bad Bunny, Justin Bieber, bts BRU. How are people still listening to Justin Bieber like that? Like what is he making music? So, like does he make me?
I'm saying it's all fair.
I'd play Yummy every day.
You get that yumy yum, yumy yum. Journals is such a good album.
Journals is such a good album. Also, Baby is genuinely a masterpiece of a song. Like I think we've grown enough as like a culture to.
Like didn't pick that up, so it looks like he just glitched.
Like Baby is a great song, Like it really is actually a good song.
I'll never forget when I showed my friends in fifth grade Justin Bieber on YouTube and it was before he was like a thing, and I.
Was like, yeah, like this my boyfriend.
This is like a guy I've been looking at, like he's like I got my eye on him. And then my friends like two years later or maybe like a year later, once like baby and everything really came out and he was like huge. All my friends were talking about him and we got into a serious argument where I was like that is my artist, Like I that's mine. Like last year when I showed up to you, you didn't give a fuck, and now you give the fuck because he's on the radio.
I'll like kind of go back and watch that video probably like once.
Every baby, every year, just to watch like him playing the video game.
What what when at the bowling Alley?
Which one's baby? I don't know if I recall.
It's He's like at the bowling Alley.
Drake, Drake's there, Drake's in that, Drake's in the Baby music.
Wait, what's happening? Because I'm freaking out.
I literally cannot believe this right now.
No, it's just like tapping people up and he's hanging out with like twelve year olds.
Damn, dude, this ship's too fucking lit. Where is this? Is this in La? Oh? Wow? My god? This ships so lit? Yeah it's in La, dude. He was too lit? Like what a time?
It's like a scar song.
Now, Well, I just I just sped it up because I want to finish watching it so we can finish the episode. The clothes they had him in were really crazy. Dude. I wanted to be his girlfriend so bad, Like literally was like I need him. He maybe was like thirteen here or fourteen. I actually don't know his age, like and Justin Bieber.
Has never had an age twenty eight, what's crazy?
It might have been like sixteen.
I got my first kiss at the Justin Bieber documentary like movie. I saw it in theaters one and then two. I was secretly obsessed with Justin Bieber. But like, obviously you couldn't do that, especially in Texas. So I was like such a fucking hater of his online. And then I would also go on Facebook and lie and say I won like two tickets and that I'm selling them to like his concert in Dallas, like if anybody wants to buy them, I'm selling them for five hundred bucks
each to their front row. And everyone wouldn't hit me up.
So you were a scammer.
I never took money from anybody, but it was your attention. Yeah, it was just fun to lie. I lied so much on Facebook, like I would like say, like my brother is like severely sick, like he's like this is his face and it was like a face of like a mutilated person from like like that, like one of the meme photos that would go around, like the one that I post on my story where it's like selfie like a week ago.
Sorry, now I'm done a really crazy justin Beaber rabbit hole and I'm watching the Beauty and a Beat.
Oh that's.
I wanted to be at this party so bad. I was like, fuck, I need to get in that pool. I need to get in that pool and get really self conscious because I think Justin Bieber's gonna look at me and now i have bodily perception of myself and I'm scared, like I needed to be in this pool. Like what everybody here is so lucky? Was this like post X because this video feels super like everybody saw X and they were like yeah, and everybody saw Project X and they were like, we didn't us a video.
There was a huge party.
It was the biggest party in the world at our house. I never saw Project X. We're seen that movie. I feel like it's really good. I feel like one of those movies I had to have seen, like when it came out, because now it's like, this is the worst movie ever. That's how I felt about watching Hackers. Like Hackers, the vibes are there, but that is the one of the worst movies ever.
Via sucks.
The only one that holds up is super Bad. That one is as.
Good, literally one of the best. This is like in comedies, this is.
The end, It is pretty good. But I feel like super Bad, out of all of those, I'll watch it and I'm like, this is maybe even funnier.
Yeah, because also super Bad is like shot really nicely too, like it like looks good really and like the opening, like, yeah, it has like a lot of artistic spots.
I'm arguing against you. I'm just saying off show.
Oh yeah, I know, this is the end is pretty fire.
Yeah.
I haven't seen it, and I started it and then I like turned it off because I started it right after I watched super Bad and it was like.
Late Michael Saya's character and that is so funny, I know.
I mean the beginning fifteen minutes of the movie is literally so fucking Didn't.
They all hate each other on set or something like Michael Sarah and like Jonah Hill or yeah, someone they had like beef on set.
It was like, actually, I just got told this the other.
Day, like everyone hated Jonah Hill.
It was like, no, it was like Jonah didn't want a film with Michael because I think Jonah Hill wanted Michael Sarah's role or something, but then they found Michael and they gave Jonah the role he ended up playing, and he was really pissed because he was like, dude, I don't want to be this character. He wanted to play Michael Sarah's character.
I didn't want to play his characters. What's crazy at how Jonah Hill was casted for that movie was like Seth was at like a movie or a screening for one of his like movies that just came out, and Jonah was sitting right behind him, and Seth at the time was developing super Bad and was like, this kid is perfect for this role. Wait, no, no, that's for forty old virgin. Sorry, yeah, that's for forty old virgin.
He was like, oh wait, why don't you just be the kid the Yeah, big Johnah Hills. He has such a funny role in four year old version.
I haven't seen that in a really long time. I need to rewatch it. I actually don't know if I've finished that movie ever. That was always one of those movies I like saw it was like on TV, so I would like always start it and just like that movie is.
So well written.
That's a classic certified class dude. Also, just like comedy back then was like it was like the perfect level of like, okay, like we're being like a little like we're being a little sacetious. Yeah, we're testing the waters, like we're saying things that's also not the right way to use it. But whatever that is is that not facetious? Is like lying? But uh basically yeah, it was just like the perfect level of like being like problematic and also like being a little aware, yeah, and being aware.
And then like shortly after that it spiraled out of control and like it was fucking crazy. And now like I feel like we're finally starting to get back into it. Like I'm sure in the next like two or three years, like comedy will be funny again.
But we'll save comedy.
I think, Yeah, yeah, we have to save comedy. We must save comedy. You just can't say shit anymore.
Like yeah, like I want to be able to be like.
Crap, fuck here, who fuck?
All right? So Media of the Week.
Yep, somehow we were trying to do a forty five minute episode today, but we somehow pushed over, pushed over, So.
Yeah, we're going to forty five now, so everybody be upset and sad and like cry about it, because I don't care.
I don't give a fake.
I read a really good book, but I'm not gonna say it out loud because I'm gonna get keep the book.
Yeah. For media, I'm just like, I listened to a lot of good music and watch a lot of good shit. You but I'm not telling you. So that's my media.
My media is Boutique Joy by Yasuka Shi Mizu. I'm probably saying that really wrong. I just want to talk to you. Let me talk to you, Charles Brown, Sleepy Creek. That song is so fucking good. You make me Week at the knees, Electra, Electra Lane and Alone Again by Gilbert O'Sullivan Arena. I was listening to my Discover weekly and you cannot fucking trick me. Don't make old sounding music, bitch, because I know when that shit's new. I can fucking
hear it in your stupid whiny voice. And somebody had a song that was supposed to sound old, but it sounded like the beginning of Alone Again. So I was like, when I first started listening to I was like, I was like, I don't think this person would have sampled this so soon after this song came out, so it sounds like we've got a little faker on our hands. And I saw that cover and I was like, you can't trick me. You can't trick me with your fake, old looking cover. I hate that shit when the people
are making like old sounding music. And then also the cover is very like we made this out of cardboard an ink with her hands.
This is actually a vinyl sleeve, just printed and scam.
We just scanned a vinyl. It's real and yeah, and then I blocked the artists.
On spot pon.
Well, I've been tapping back into Death Grips because I'm getting ready for their concerts in LA and I need to go and if I don't go, I'll die.
Yeah, you won't die, you know.
Birds by Death Grips, Black Dice by Death Grips are really good songs that I've liked recently. And then there's this band called Black Dice, and I am only assuming they're inspired by Death Grips because their music is like noise music and like really annoying and bad, but broken ear record is really fucking good by them. But it's just like sound music and if you like that type of shit, they make good noise music, but like if you don't, you won't get it and it will be like a hell for you.
And then this welcome to your nightmare.
I've watched like so much shit recently. I've been watching that show Working Moms. I didn't know there were thirty six thousand seasons out, and like I.
Realized the face I know it was really.
We'll find it, but we'll look I.
Like actually shocked itself. Like I felt the way my tongue hung out of my mouth is not I never felt that in my life. You were watching Working Moms.
Yeah, it's like the acting is terrible and the casting is awful for most everybody except for Anne and the main girl. But that show is just like a guilty pleasure and I like watching it. It's on Netflix. And then Demon SI Slayer season three came out and literally no one fucking told me. I'm so confused because that wasn't there when I finished watching season two, which was like two months ago, and then now it's there, Like it doesn't make sense to me, but whatever, Well.
I'm finally in season five of The Sopranos. The Sopranos I always say soprano, but I think you're supposed to say the sopranos. Whatever the fuck that means, Like, let me pronounce it how I want.
Bitch the fuck Golden Hours.
I should just be able to say things how I want.
Whatever, Sleepy Time, Raymond Scott and be My Baby they're on its bem.
Be my Little Baby, my baby. No, I'm pretty sure that was the song.
But let me see the cover of be My Baby, because maybe I'm to give something else. Okay, I'm pretty sure it's be my Baby. But they really didn't want that song. There's like a crazy story behind it, like they really didn't want.
To do that song. And I don't think it's My Baby, is it not? There's another that.
Is it by the raw Nets or it might not be the raw Ats. I can't remember who it is, but it's like from that era of music, there was like a band who really didn't want to set song. Oh dude, it's the worst day ever?
Is like.
We may never know, I guess.
Also, the movie fuck, what's it called? Walk the Line is really good.
The Walking Phoenix.
Yeah, the Walking Phoenix. But that was this episode of Emergency Intercom. I hope enjoyed UH and I hope you find love with. Thank you so much, respects
SHO