That's done and.
Live from New York City. I'm learn should I started off with something really exciting that I've been holding back from you, but you kind of know about. Yes, you finally get to see it. So the other night I was hanging out without Drew. Miracle miracle occurrence. I say miracle occurrence like I'm not always hanging out without you,
I just be hanging out. I got so many friends and like some of them, I can't bring you around because all of them are gonna gonna try and have sex with Drew and I don't want to see it because it makes me jealous. But the other night, I was like hanging around some friends and we ended up talking about Squid Game because we were all watching the Squid Game Challenge and I was like, oh my god,
I could have one. I saw online that you can sign up for the next Squid Game Challenge, like the next season, and I looked it up and you can, so I signed up. And but what I didn't realize what I was signing up is you have to, like which this makes sense, you have to upload pictures of yourself and a video like a self tape, like they said anywhere. It has to be like ten to twenty seconds of why you should be in squid Game. So
I did it? And should I do that? I'll show you that after, but I'll just say some of the answers I had. What was funny about it is like it it would be like, oh, what are you gonna do with the money, but they had a list of things, like you couldn't ride out exactly what you were gonna do with the money. It was like a scroll down list of things you would do. So it's like donate some to charity, like buy a house for my family,
buy a house for me. One of them was relocate, which is like how many criminals are signing up for squid Game and they're like I must relocate.
Wait have you seen them? That's another tangent. But there was like this like governmental program that like sent out free baseball tickets to a bunch of like the most wanted felons and criminals, like to their emails, and they ended up arresting like almost two thousand people showed up to this free game and they all got arrested.
Like that is so much, but also like come on now, it.
Was like murderers and killers and it was in like the early two thousands.
But it's also so funny because like, why did you think you were randomly getting a ticket?
Like they like pulled up and they were like like just chopping it up with everyone, and they're like, oh, I also committed a crime, and like people were getting wise about it.
Yeah, but I'm gonna do that with everybody I find attractive and then I'm not going to finish that sentence. Actually, okay, I'm gonna practice self respect and control.
It's gonna be hard for you. You don't have a lot of respect for yourself.
Yeah, I'm lacking. I'm lacking. Really, can you get that for me? For you?
And a lot of things?
What else?
I'm not gonna go there. I'm not gonna go there.
You're been trying to convince me to like get a boob job, to get bigger boobs because he says that sometimes they're hidden under my clothes and he doesn't like that.
Yeah, it's just like I need to see more of my girl's body. But if another man sees it, like, it's gonna fuck it.
If you wear that out, you're like literally a certified fucking slut because that should be for my eyes only. Even though the reason I got with you is.
Because I called for my eyes only.
And what's it gonna be about?
Just music the people's ears.
It's not gonna have like you're just gonna have that.
Like did Drink make an album called for your eyes Only?
No, it's for all the dogs?
No, no, no, like there's an albl for your eyes only or.
Something like that, number four your eyes Only.
Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you could take it so okay by finishing oh yeah.
So like it had that, And I think I just keep the money for myself, which is kind of my vibe recently, like my money hoarding. I'm ntoring money hoarders.
I literally have a note saying that we need to start hoarding wealth again. We need to make hoarding wealth great again.
I believe in hoarding money. I don't believe in equal pay. Yes, I think you should take advantage of people.
What a billion is not much money, it's not money, Like I don't think people like like if you work hard for your money, off like other people's labor, and you're just smart enough to just take advantage of other people and like pay them fucking dog scraps while you hoard the wealth sitting in your fucking corner office in a skyscraper, like you deserve three, four or five for that.
You have morals aside and become a psychopath. That's not easy.
You were evil.
I was watching Succession. It wasn't until three seasons in that I watched and I was like, oh, these are supposed to be rich people. To me, always like these are poor people.
I'm wanting, Yeah, like they don't have nearly as much money as they should, like until you're in the billions, I'm like, what's the point, Like, yeah, yeah, I actually can't believe that some people genuinely think that they're like, dude, a billion is nothing to me.
I love the like hardcore boot liquors that are like they worked hard for that money, like hard though they did it. Yeah, they did not work hard. The people that are working hard are the fucking cashiers that have to interact with nasty, fucking, entitled gross people like you exactly demanding their snack wrap.
Now I'm so congested as disgusting. I'm still sick. If anybody cares, I probably have white lung.
Yeah, oh, don't even get me started. Don't even get me started. White lung COVID two point zero around March next year. Of course, it's the same time around elections that a new scary disease is taking over the planet. A kind of ironic. It's kind of ironic. We don't know what the fuck it is. It's affecting our kids and our children. The white lung is coming for you. Prepare for an Prepare for another shut down.
You were literally a hypochodriac because he says something to me yesterday. I didn't say anything cause I was like, I'm gonna let you rock because you're also falling asleep, but from my room, because he's also been sleeping in my room.
Oh yeah, let me let me let me talk about that real quick. So I started a major three D print project for my blind box toys. Will insert the photos of the failure that it was, and then we'll see, is some like a nice little figurine that actually looks good,
that still broke. But I like started and embarked on this journey, and like the fumes from that three D printer are so toxic in evil that like literally for the past like two or three days, like I actually have not been myself and I have fully melted the brain cells that I had left in my fucking brain because like I was like interacting with this like liquid uncured resin that's super gaseous and like the fumes just like latch onto the oxygen molecules and like take over it.
I don't fucking know the signs behind it, but like long story short, it's carcinogenic and it stops the oxygen from getting to my brain. So I've been sleeping in Enya's room because I've been trying to air my room out for the past four days, but it still smells hella toxic.
And from the hallway. He like yelled at me as he was falling asleep in my bed, and he was like, I think I have what's the word.
Turn off the light? Hypoxia.
He's like, I think I'm suffering from hypoxia. And I was like, what is that? And then he like right out, He's like, so I've been doing some research where it's like googling your syntoms is not doing some real No.
No, I just I didn't do no research. I just know how hypoxia is. Like off top of my head, it's a lack of such.
A hypochondriac because why do you know that?
Like well, because I was like doing like anatomy and physiology and all those medicals, which was.
Like the worst thing you could have ever done, because now you think you know what's happening.
No, I literally also have a note taken down about like how like it's almost that time where I like start fiending to be sick again, where I'm like, like I love the attention I get when I'm sick.
There's something wrong with you.
No, we know you know me and my alters know.
Their voices both kind of sound like parallel universe versions of you.
Yeah, it's going to be stuck like this forever. Yeah. The audio listeners are like, who the fuck are these people?
We replaced ourselves because we were just tired of working, and like we're already starting that money boarding idea. We're going to get someone to replace us who does all the work, and we're going to pay them maybe two dollars an hour, so two dollars an episode you ever shot out, We're paying them good. They're making eight bucks a month.
But I was laying in bed and I said I had hypoxia. Why did I say I had hypoxia?
He was like, because like I just like haven't been getting enough oxygen to my brady because since up congested and it had all those fumes. I'm like trying to breathe through my nose and not breathing through my mouth with just like breathe through your fick.
I will never be a mouth breathe, Absolutely fucking not. Oh yeah, break my three year mewing streak for what, some fucking oxygen for my blood. No, why do you think people been calling me sexy? It's because my hair is out of my face and they can see my jawline. Look at the comments on Josiah's new video. Every single one is about me being sexy. Thank you so much. I appreciate it. We'll insert them because I actually so happy you guys went through any screenshot at them because
they made me feel so good about myself. I'm scared. Drew actually looks good as a straight woman. I'm so attracted to Drew. I'm going insane. Drew looks way too sexy in this video. Drew looks so good. I'm tired of y'all denying it. Like the way looks like a meal Drew is really serving Jesus. I can tell the grinder church Ap has been doing erk, Yes it has. Drew looks so good. What the fuck Drew looks so good in this that I was low key fantasizing. Oh
I was low key fantasizing. Drew looks like a Victorian Prince. Drew looks good as hell.
He get it.
You don't understand how much I needed this after an was there no one, no look. And these are all just like straight up screenshots, like every single one of these. It's just back to back. It's just back to back, like people want me, people love me.
I'll have him in your bed saying that he's suffering from hypoxia. I throw this away, and that's why I've been so grumpy. And he's like, and that's why I've been so grumpy the past.
Oh no, Like I've been like, hella fucking dizzy, like literally so dizzy all day and just like yesterday was not my day. I was a little grumpy boy and like I just wasn't having it. But I'm also sick as a dog because I got that dog and me, Oh, you're so cringey, Drew, and you do things like that, shut up, shut the fuck up.
Well yeah, he was like well, because I don't breathe through my mouth and I can't breathe through my nose, so I'm suffering from my POxy. And I was like, what are we like, breathe through your fucking mouth. Also, you have been snoring since You're like.
Yeah, it's been bad, Jose. I always said it was worse than yours. The other day when I fell asleep on the couch, when.
We were both sleeping on the couch, you were fully storm.
Well, let me bring something up that the first night when I slept in your bed, you did what did I do?
No?
So I always like want it car Are you okay? Yeah, okay, just making sure. I always like was curious about Enya's bedtime rituals, just because like everyone has a little thing that they do, and like I was like, oh, this is probably like brushing her hair, like being like cute and just getting ready for bed, putting on her lotions and her creams and just like doing her little thing like whatever that girls do, taking out her tampon, like period.
Shit, wait, how long do you think a menstrual cycle lasts?
Like apparently years for you? Because you're a bitch all the time. Pmsing much. No, they last for like a week, like a few days. Yeah, yeah, I know because we.
Were watching that video where it was like the guys try to disguise themselves as girls, like and one of the guys was like, doesn't e menstal cycle last thirty days? And I actually could believe that because I was like, wait, wait a second, Like if you were like, there's no excuse to also be in your twenties and be a sexually active person, like that is where I draw the line. If you are sexually active man and you still think that, it's like how many times have you interacted with a woman?
She's like, yeah, I'm on my period, and if is she just like ghosting you for a month. Then she's like, I'm not on my period anymore, Like is that what's happening?
Like why do you get play? He just doesn't get played. But anyways, We're like laying in bed, I'm kind of doing my thing, like I have my laptop open and playing a video and I'm watching TikTok on my phone. At one point, you're like, Drew, turn off your laptop, like turn their brightness down, yah, cause it was so.
Bright because I was like kind of falling asleep, and I turned my head and it was just.
Like yeah, it's like a flash bang. And then so Enya's laying there, she's like slowly dozing off, and then I'm like, what the fuck did Enya just fall asleep to? Like what is she listening to? So I like listen in She's literally listening to like the most gruesome, like diabolical, like murder like podcast show that's like talking about like beheading women and like cutting their limbs off. Okay, I have.
Not like watched something like that to fall asleep in a long time, and I swear on my mother's urn I have not watched something like that to fall asleep for a long time. But I was so tired and I didn't have it in me to scroll through TikTok, and that was at the top of my timeline, and I was like, I've already watched all like if you know Evan and Caitlin, that's what I'll be watching. That's my vibe. But they have I've fucking uploaded. So I was like, damn, you're gonna push me. And I was
gonna watch a plane crash video. I was like, let me not restart that journey.
And you're always like, why am I so anxious? Like why am I so scared of everything all the time. It's because you fall asleep to murder documentaries, Like it's crazy, it really did. I've never seen you fall asleep so fast in my little life.
You know what it is. It's like I think it's less about the content, but it's more about like the voice of the people who do that. They have such a specific octave. It's like Joe Para, Like it literally just puts me to sleep, that's my ASMR.
Yeah, we do have like nice voices and shit, why are you changing your voice? I'm not. I think being congested like is legitimately the worst thing that can ever happen to me personally, like it Like, I'm not even kidding. I will go on record saying this. I would rather be dead than be congested for a week, Like I literally cannot exist in this form Like this is too much.
Yeah, I like we too much. Tried to start going back to the gym because we're not like sick anymore. We're just left over with some congestion. And I'm not kidding. The second I start running on that fucking treadmill, I start choking on flem and it is the nastiest thing ever. And it's so embarrassed to.
Tell the story, tell the story about how competitive you always get on me for being competitive.
Okay, I have explain this though. So me, just I and Drew were at the gym and like before they went off to do their like workouts, Drew got on my treadmill behind me, and we were walking together, and the lady behind us, Josie, saw her and he was like, she just gave us the dirtiest look for doing that, because it's like a bougie gym, and like everybody there takes themselves so fucking serious. And I guess I'm one of those people too because of what I ended up doing.
But like, Drew was behind me and we were walking for a second and he left, and now I was like stuck in the idea that this woman was watching me because she was right behind me on another treadmill. So like I was like doing my like warm up, and then I started running and I was like, oh my god, I literally can't run because I'm so congested that I like can't in take enough air to keep going. And I was like overheating really fast as I couldn't
take air. But then as I'm running, I'm like, oh my god, this lady behind me is going to see that I only ran for like two minutes and be like this bitch is just here to play like she's not even about it. So then I kept running and choking on my phone because I was like, I will not I will not let her think I am here to fucking play around. Yeah, I'm about my business, bitch. But yeah, I ran for like three extra minutes and I'm not kidding. I almost fainted because I was getting
no oxygen to my head. I think I basically embarrassed myself even more because I was so lightheaded from running with no oxygen that I had to stop the treadmill and like bend down because I almost fainted.
I will say, when I was walking with you to get my heart rate up before my exercising, I do like a little inclined walk for five to ten minutes. When I like got on your treadmill and we started just like goofing off. For those like five seconds, I could feel her inner g like burn.
Yeah, burning holds through our backs like you do not like what did we do? We're just like you're mad because.
We're young and you're boring.
Yeah, and you're here alone and we're here with friends, so you're mad. But yeah, oh wait, I never even finished the Squid Games, the Swiss Games thing.
Yeah.
So it was asking questions like it was like, oh, how do you do in team situations? And my answer was I fall back and I let everybody make a mistake so that I can't be blamed for the mistake. How do you do in confrontations? I said, I win. I've got a nasty temper. It was like, what do you why do you want to win the money? And I said, honestly, so I can just like never do anything ever again. I just kind of want to chill
with my life. And then it was like, why do you want to be in squid Games, Like so I could prove to everybody that I will win. It was like, why do you think you will win? It was like, because I will. I just know it and just ship like that, and like I'll insert the pictures that I like gave for myself, because it was asking for like a headshot, like a full body shot, like all this shit kind This is one of the pictures I gave.
If they selected you and would you shave your head for the role?
Well, yeah, what if they were like, you actually look like that, because we'll take you. Yeah. And then this is what I haven't showed, Drew. But this is my squid my official Squid Games self tape.
Hi, what's up?
My name is any man's word? I want to be on the next Schouid Game. Please shose me. I am five on four, ready to have fun and I will be winning. So maybe you don't choose me because you're gonna have to give me four point five mens.
I hate that boys knew at.
The end because I had to show them that I can serve condo.
You have to.
So hopefully, guys, I will be shipped off to Squid Game soon and you won't see me for six to.
Eight months, literally, please please God. Well, ya made that, and I heard that they were having a little fun, so I decided to make my own.
What would you go ahead?
My name is Drew Phillips and I'm casting for the Squid Games. I'm the villain of the season. Oh I I.
I'm the villain of the season. We should just make a song and give it to them yo. Oh but yeah, I'll my swine because they're like, oh, do you know anybody who signed up for it? And I said no, because obviously they don't want like alliances to be formed all like at first. Also, game shows are so funny like that when they're like, there's alliances, It's like, no, you're literally stuck in a room with random people and
you're just making friends. But people like start to get so psychologically torn apart and said it like that that they see people making connections and they're like, what are they doing? Like do we look like an alliance? They're forming an alliance? It's like no, they're y'all are just making friends because you're gonna be here for like fifteen days in a row.
Should we put this picture up there? Or should I post this on Instagram?
You should post that on the Grinder church app? Look at this one cut?
Should I post this on I g the way it would eat that God?
Dude? The one of Josiah's really naughty.
I hate Josiah, Like Josiah could take photos really is joring to me? Yeah, but yeah, So hopefully I'll.
Be in the next Squidge games.
In the next Squitch games, and I'll be winning.
No I was telling, and I was like, no, like if you and I went on together and like had our little catnus impeda moment like where it was like between the two of us in the final and like you had to like stab me in the heart, but like we decided to like make love instead, like they would love, they love, they would like I guess they.
His mouth exposed.
No, like like the whole thing is like, oh, like we would have to have sex on camera. So like I'm like, why would they not want that for us? Like why would you know?
How is no one fucking in there like they are?
They are for sure when it gets down, like it's two and a half weeks and they're banging, boning and bashing, they're gishing, they're gishing, they're bashed, Like let's talk about it.
Yeah, I guess maybe they would let us go because they let that mom and son get in, so they need another duo for the next season. It's gonna be us, Yeah, Like imagine the thing is I have such a like big ego and like.
No, you would embarrassments so complex.
Actually that's why because in my head, no, in my head, I wouldn't compete because I'd be like, this is so embarrassing that we're all competing and we want something so bad because I have like, uh, no self respect and I don't believe in fighting for what I want that my head in my head, in my head, I would think I wouldn't do because I'd be like like I don't want people to know I want something that's embarrassing. But then I think about how competitive I am in nature,
and I would be a fucking nightmare. I literally am so bad at competitions because I get so like intense for no reason. It's never that serious, but I need to win, like I need to win, and if I didn't win, bitch, let my little chest thing, I'm gonna rip it out and like throw it at someone's head, like don't pop that shit on my chest, like that's too much. And I'm not gonna act like I'm dead because they had all those bitches falling on the floor
like they're dead. If they pop my shit, I'd be like, yeah.
That was too far, like making their squidge explor squib explode, and then like them having to fake death like a five million dollars like it's o D like it's crazy.
Some of them are really even giving like a fake death perform, like they were like I'm gonna get this emmy, Like I'm gonna get this fucking emty. Like some of them were literally like me, maybe they'll give me money, like so dramatic.
I'm just so proud of you guys, because just then the mic was like pointed away and you like over here, and you like intuitively like professional podcaster vibes, like knocked it towards your mouth.
Wow.
I was about to have to like go engine your mond and be like, oh, like can you turn.
Then I just did a bunch of coke this morning, so I'm really like fine tone today.
Oh wow, Okay, I've been on like a cold concerning but.
Yeah, it's been really scary. She's on like a bender. She wakes up at noon, she wakes up at noon. Everyone like it's really scary.
I literally cannot wake up, dude. Every time it hits this time of year, waking up before eleven a m. Is the hardest task.
Which is so surprising because the sun comes out earlier to greet even I think because.
I'm just cold and comfy and I'm like, oh, I just want to sleep, like I slept for ten hours last night.
That's so crazy, And then.
I kept sleep and I'm crazy.
Well, I'm thinking about getting veneers again.
Are you gonna get your teeth chain down?
I would be so dis big nasty, fucking gum teeth, Like I want big, nasty, bright while like like horse teeth, Like I want them to be like.
Neers were the biggest stam Like that's when like the beauty industry got men and women at the same time. Like, actually, veneers are beautiful for that, because I feel like usually beauty standards just fall on women and like women are having to go under the knife and shit. But they were like you know what, both genders will fuck with big.
Teeth, yeah, big big teeth. No, Like I think veneers, when they're done right, are actually like really nice and cool. But like if you already have nice teeth and you're getting veneers, like it is a stab in the heart, Like it's crazy.
It was his smile.
Yeah, I can't stop imagining you with like huge cartoon teeth.
The thing about venears is even when they're good, though, like that first week is really jarring, that first.
Week of like new acclimating.
Yeah, like I have to reacclimate my eyes to the fact that like, I know what your teeth looked like, like it's like a key component to your face, and now they're just big.
Yeah, and we're we're strictly talking cosmetic. We're strictly like, if you need fucking fake teeth, do your thing like respect.
But I mean the bitches who like they're like, oh, I wish my teeth were whiter.
And it's like, why no one has white teeth?
Yeah, it looks so weird, like you look like you threw the Paris filter over your face permanently.
But I am getting veneers soon.
You're gonna go to Turkey, get your hair get a hairline and veneers.
Also the people that reached out to me for hairline surgery very early into the podcast, they were like, we'll fly you and a buddy out to get two free hairline surgeries. I was offended then, but now I want it because it would be so funny, Like if I like literally got like a crazy hairline.
Like literally right here and have like no ford.
I just want the picture of my face like really big and swollen so bad.
I could just beat you the fuck up.
Kai. You're giggly today, Yeah, dude.
Because Kai hit a dad brik before we started.
Was I not supposed to hit that? No, dude, I was gonna say I peed before the podcast and I put the seat down, and yeah.
He's saying he did a good thing. You were just so unrespecting, like.
Just like waiting on my thank you for that?
Why would I say thank you for that?
Because it's it was super nice?
Would have fallen? Your petite body would have fallen.
Sometimes I'm so yeah, I know I would have been flushed away because I'm so small. I would have just.
Like like a piece of paper.
We were at O'Ryan's exhibit and I like was like, oh my god, I literally have to ship. I'm going back there to ship. And I didn't even tell Drew that who told you that?
Oh?
Because I was like, all right, buye, I'm gonna go ship. And I went and grabbed my phone and went to the back and I was like on the toilet and I just hear like and like someone's wiggling the door handle, which immediately knew it was Drew, because like, who the fuck has the urgency at this exhibit, Like it's all respectable adults he or other than like Oriyan's three rowdy ass friends and someone's like jiggling the do the voice you did?
There's a fire, right, there's a fire. There's a fire. And then I started blowing smoke under the door. I found Enya's vape and I just started.
Blowing like the seat with my like purse.
Yeah, so I was like like blowing smoke under the door. It was such a evacuated get the fuck out. I just like harmonized with myself three different layers. Oh there's like three voice no whatever, But what were you saying about whatever? His fucking nuts is what the.
Fuck was eindsight? Is that real? Like him sticking his tongue out? Why was he doing that? He was silly.
We can't take bag of chips on his head, Like he's fucking crazy.
We need to edit that. I like, my girl's crazy. We can't take her anywhere. Why did he do that?
Like cheaps.
Time?
Yeah, that was like three days before he died.
Really wait what did he die from?
I think old age? No, see, he's goofy. But that one is crazy. That's not real? Is that one real? No?
Oh yeah it is.
See he was just with the ships like he was down for the vibe. He was just crazy a mathematician, Like mathematicians can let loosen have fun sometimes.
Do you think he like banged hard or was he like mid, I'm not going there with you, Okay. I just feel like he probably like put down.
Einstein lays pipe.
I feel like Einstein laid it down like crazy boo yeah nerds do.
Yeah. He hit the back walls for sure.
Oh my god, wait, I just deleted all my notes.
You say that every episode, like you don't know how to navigate your iPhone. Every episode you're like, oh my god, oh my god, two years of worked out the joint. Oh my god.
Literally, this the new update is like too much, Like you're literally going too far, Like I wish I had my old phone with my old ass update. Just like it's like, also, this phone doesn't fit in my fucking hands. So like I'll like be on the TikTok.
Feed and like oh yeah, your hand will touch the.
Pad of my hand will like touch the refresh button, and I'll just like lose the video that I was intently watching, and I'm just like, okay, fuck this, fuck this.
I was researching like Christian mega churches, specifically like Texas Christian Mega churches, And I don't know if you've ever been to a megachurch, but it's kind of like a rite of passage like in the in like South Tech, like in the bi Yeah by belt, like is to like experience that as a person, and like really it is fucking crazy like it it's disgusting, literally disgusting because like one, they're like arenas like in some of these
churches like thirty five no literally like thirty thousand people like capacity for these like church events. And two, like some of them, like specifically the Christian I mean the Christmas like shows that they put on like literally have stage design comparable to like Beyonce's Renaissance tour. Like it's
the craziest, Like I'm not exaggerating. I feel like every single night they have like a two hundred thousand, two hundred fty thousand dollars budget and they do these Christmas shows for like months get.
Their money from their like people who come.
Yeah, like a lot of it is, but it's all also like all tax free. But I found a video that I want us to all watch together, So kay come over here of like the megachurch, and I'm pretty sure this is in Plano it's ridiculous this this is all the same fucking show. Like when I'm about to show you all happened at the same show. So first a horse and a carriage like some really dark Satanist ship, people flying around like the Drake concert. Yeah, more stage
design than Drake's concert. Cammel's in Texas, Like, okay, how are they Like it's like the Pink concert with them flipping around and ship Zebras drummer boy, Like this is crazy. Beyonce flying over it's at the Renaissance tour.
But yeah, wait, what the fuck does any of that have to do with God?
It's that was all one show.
Wait, I thought like hardcore Christians didn't believe.
In Santa because Christmas is a pagan holiday, Like it literally is a pagan holiday. But like they just know they can't make more money doing that ship.
But that also costs like a million dollars and.
They do it all the fucking time, and they do regular shows where the sermon like or where the preachers just flying around like every single show they like fly in that.
Must have been like three times the amount of a Beyonce concert.
Yeah, like it's it's unshown.
How are they homophobic, but they're so theatric.
Every person I went to church with that was a very homophobic person I have seen on Grinder. I have seen you. I know, I see the type of person.
So of course they're on there guy that's doing cartwheels that.
What I'm saying is like they're literally so theatric and it's like so it literally reminds me of that video of the drag Queens like circling like at that event recently when they like fell. I hope they were, Okay. I never like looked at that up I've show, but I like don't understand, like it is so theatric. It is so Broadway. So I'm like, and then they do all that and then they're like okay, but like low key, fuck gay people, fuck poor people, we hate you no period.
No.
In my hometown, the there's like this non denominational church that like for a very long time was like they're church to go to. It was it's like.
Very it was like eleven in Miami.
Yeah exactly. It was like the clerb.
No.
It actually was super hig attack but like in like a modest way, and it was not denominational, and like their motto was like no perfect people allowed. So like, no matter what walk of life you come from, like whatever sexuality you are, like whatever, the vibe is like you're welcome in this church and loved in and accepted. And for a very long time I was like hell yeah, like swag. But the new pastor preacher whatever the hell
is biggest op of all time. He's definitely a closeted gay man because like randomly, in every single sermon he'll just sneak in like anti gay rhetoric. He'll just say like the one that happened recently that caused like a really big stir in my community, and like he actually had the publicly apologize because like this church has a good church. Like I really like if I, like in Granburry and wanted to attend church regularly, Lee, I would go to this church. Like it's it's a great place.
But just like sometimes he'll just like get on his high horse and start talking about like gay shit, and I'm like, brother, like what are you on about? Like recently he was like does.
This have to do with like me losing faith because my mother is.
Sick exactly, Like it's so bizarre, and like he'll like the one that caused the controversy was he was like just giving this sermon and all of a sudden he started doing like a stand up bit about like his son, like how his son is like star quarterback, and he was like, yeah, like my son like would never be gay because like you know, they say this, like there's research studies about wrestling with your kid, like it'll stop
him from being gay. So like I'll just grab him and start wrestling him because my son will never be gay. And everyone was like Paul, oh, and we were all like, oh no, you like are weird. You're weird. It's really weird behavior. And he there's like two sermons every Sunday, there's an early morning in an afternoon, and he did he set up the bit and did the bit the exact same way both times, so because it was like super planned and like he both got last. But then
like Facebook destroyed him. It had like a thousand comments on our small little hometowns like Facebook page, and everyone was like, yeah, it's weird. They lost if he doesn't stop like being homophobic, like we're gonna stop going to this church and like whatever.
But it's almost you can be gay and have faith in God. He doesn't have to be like that. Wow. But like I feel like just priests and like pastors and everybody, like they just get so like tapped into their ego of it and then they're like I can expand I can they start to feel like an entertainer. They're like they're the false ide I can move like, I can make them laugh, I can make them cry, like I could do anything.
Yeah, they're all false idols, like if you don't worship anything but your god, false idol except for me because I am God to a lot of people. Surprisingly, have you ever just.
Thought to, like, I don't know, take into account that you just might be a compulsive liar?
Yeah, and I am.
I thought you were gonna like deny that, Like.
No, I am a compulsive liar.
It's fun, But doesn't that like go like if if people believe that you're like their god, Like I don't think people want to like have a god that's like a compulsive.
If they believe I'm their God, then like what's the problem.
Oh, I guess yeah, you could do whatever you want.
Yeah, but do.
They get to do whatever they want?
No?
Okay, I'm just like.
Lying is fun in whoever I hurt in my way deserves to be hurt, what the fuck randomly, like.
It deserves randomly random as fuck. But if you fall for my lie, you deserve it, like and seem.
Okay, okay, humble. The refrigerator is like classic right now, like it sounds so good, like I'm not even kidding, like being up late, like when you're not supposed to, like in the kitchen, like making a mustard sandwich and like mustard and cheese sandwich. Y'all never did that, No, And then you hear like you're being quiet and like.
Were you like raised in the nineteen twenties, Like why is that sandwich of choice?
It was really written in an ingredient's house. We had to like fin food. If you wanted food, you had to cook it. Hell no, I couldn't, Like there was a time when my family caught up that, like, but there were times when me and my sister would be like so hungry that we would eat raw pasta and chocolate chips, like I tried to think.
I would always like eat like I'd fuck on some like cup noodles, Like we always had cup noodles in the crib, so that was like mine, but.
You had to cook that shit you you ever eat them?
And I'd put cheese in it, yeah, oh classics, Like I do cheese, I's green peppers and then cheese.
How I would do mine is I would cook the noodles on the stove till they are like literally so squidgy and soft that like they have no bite to the noodles left, I would drain all of the water out, literally all of it. Then I would put a chicken buoy on cube and the sauce packet in there.
I guess, so you give yourself sodium overlad.
Yeah, exactly. And then I'd put a slice of cheese or two if I was feeling crazy, and I'd mix it up and I would make this like gelatinous like glob of salt and like nasty chicken flavor, and I would just eat that down. But like when I was like really young and I didn't know how to use the microwave yet, like and I was really scared of the microwave for a long time because I put like a fork in there and I made like plasma and
like it literally almost burned the house down. I would just take the ramen uncooked out of the bag and pour the flavor packet, the powder flavor packet on it and just eat it like chips like that. It was so that was the move because I.
Was never pasta where it wasn't like quite as harsh. Yeah yeah, yeah you could still chew it.
Yeah it was houterized pasta.
Yeah yeah, it was crazy. But the top ramin arc was like fucking lit.
My little sister would always, always, without fail, if we let her cook her cup noodles alone, she would always almost start a fire. Like I'm not kidding. I can remember eight different occasions where we'd be sitting in the living room and we'd be like, what's that smell? What's happening? And we go into the kitchen and she's like opening the microwave and she's like and she would always forget her fork in her fucking plate that she made of leftovers and always.
Almost that sound.
Dude needs to put their iPhone in a microwave. The new iPhone what happened.
Literally like there was a whole YouTube channel that would put in microwaves that was like mine and my buddies like ship for a while before I started dissecting live animals to see their heart beating. But what, uh, my favorite genre of video right now is like not my favorite genre, it's top ten genre all time. I'll leave
it there. But it is like people like cooking pizzas in the oven and forgetting about them for twenty four hours and then just being like a solid massive charcoal, or like cooking the ramen or heating something up in the microwaven forgetting about it and it went on for ten minutes, and it's just like this black lump of burnt food, Like those videos will always always always get me, and like it will be like a Pepperoni pizza and you can see like the black Pepperonis on the black pizza,
like it's sort of a classic. Or like they'll like be cooking a turkey and like they'll pick up the bone and it will turn to fucking powder. Like that shit's so lit.
I love like really old people who don't really know what's like visually appetizing or visually appealing to young people who are just posting tiktoks, and then it's like the most jarring scene ever, Like from a young person's view, it is the most off putting, like ominous video, and
from their perspective, they were like, this is cute. This is just what I'm eating today, Like it's just what I'm up to, and it's like something about it is like the colors, the sounds, like the video itself feels like I gave AI a really ominous text and told it to make a video. But it's just this old person existing.
That's like all of like the kids I grew up with are all like simultaneously like mid twenties, like starting to get into like cooking their own meals, and they are so proud of themselves and they like love the
food they cook. And I'm sure it tastes great, but like, y'all gotta work on your fucking plating for real, and like work on the presentation, yes, literally, because if you're gonna post it online, I'm going to judge the fuck out of you if it's ugly, Like make it look good, like I know it's just serving a purpose and it probably tastes good, but like I'm not looking at your nasty fucking plate of brown pot like it does not look good, Like I don't I'm not eating it, so I can't tell.
But you're talking about Mason posting his uh pasta on his paper plate.
With his his like sauce sommer.
But he always says it's chocolate sauce, and it always looks like chocolate sauce. That's what we were talking about. Yeah, we're calling Mason out.
Speed is on a tour right now of him just live streaming. I don't even know if he addresses like the audience, but he just like sets his computer up on stage in front of like five thousand kids and just live streams and then that's it. I think I could be wrong, but honestly, godd like that is so crazy.
It's like it feels like it would.
Be like an arc exactly, like that belongs in the moment. That's literally what I'm saying. Like it's it's honestly like it says a lot without saying much.
Well, Drew didn't realize he left a snail trail in my bed, so I have to wash my sheets. It's really annoying, Okay, And like that's why I woke up as I rolled over into something Squidgy's from Drew. Do you have a sye up corner or what?
Like?
Are you gonna entertain us?
Oh? Wow? So I am as a jewis sye op corner and a Drew's brain flos.
No, we don't need the brain floss.
Yeah, that's all I am is Drew's brain floss to you guys. Wow, okay, yeah, I have a few. Imagine you come out of your teeth transplant surgery saying, Harry, I'm out. I made it out alive. Then Harry hovers over the top of you and says, who you think gave you the teeth loove? And it's Harry Styles with no teeth? Who you think gave you the teeth flow?
My name's Harry, and I gave you the teeth flow? Have you seen the picture? Jo guy?
I just sent it to Oh you fight? I need the teeth? Oh? My names every star you'll and we talk about sex bagging and shocking women. OI, who you think cay the t flow? Like?
Who made that?
A genius? In the hashtag imagine fassic um. Okay. Bitches be on their phone twenty four to seven, then act surprised when they see three thirty three, four, forty four, one eleven them angel numbers. Not talking to you, babe, Go the fuck outside. You're just on your phone too much.
That's literally you.
Yeah, literally, Girls with no car always getting the most drama. How the fuck you even get there?
Dude? You know what's crazy, Drew is I was about to look that one up. That's that one's so funny. That's me to you. Yeah, literally from twenty like eighteen to twenty twenty three.
It's hard to that one is good in its own right, but it's hard to follow who you think this one is a certified Drew classic. It came up with this one all on my own. Imagine your card declines at therapy and they just start telling you the truth that you are the problem.
Oh, don't leave, you come back.
Fuck.
I didn't come up with that one.
Do another one, Do another one?
That's all I got. What Yeah, I know you're slim pickens Like people aren't posting funny ship in them anymore. Like y'all need to get with it or no, I'm just not getting like compilations on TikTok oh. Let me not forget my just post that picture right now, screenshot that and send it. Mm hmmm. I just so hard to go through my meme account that, Like, I it's just difficult, Like I can't even explain it, bro, Like it's just hard my job is so hard. I heart weed,
I heart rough sex, I heart freaks, I hearthead period. Okay, oh this is a good one. Look at my lawyer, dog, I'm going to jail.
Yeah, yours? Your original was crazy? All right? Should we do some media?
My media of the week is blue face falling off stage?
Edited?
Man, it is.
But what's crazy is like they edited a reverb on the fart. Wanted the part to feel It's.
Like, in the room with us is the part in the room with you?
I think that's one of the funniest things I've ever seen.
Yeah, we'll insert that so y'all can clock that to you too.
You don't have to be a star to be in My Show by Marilyn McCoo and Billy Davis Junior, California, the live version by Joni Mitchell. And I've been listening to what's it called? What is this song called? Everybody? By Nicki Minajda, Like, who isn't listening to that? And I've been listening to Strike Holster by Lo Yachty, a lot.
Water strike shit, strike strike strike shit water strike shit.
Hey, Hey my.
God, let's do my Discover weekly for like a surprise and see, like what we get into.
My Discover weekly was trying me. They keep trying to feed me new songs since all those songs I was listening to are from the seventies.
Kindo I did, okay, really ambient? All right, we got fall Ozian. Let's check the see when this was made because it sounds good.
It made yesterday by me.
How do you see when it was made? I'm gonna go to their profile.
You go to the album and then you can scroll down, Oh.
Nineteen ninety three per wait and it has literally no listeners. I put y'all onto something crazy they have. They got two songs. I just put y'all the fuck on because this show. They got porcelain too. This is one of my favorites right now. Shoe gae Yeah no, thank me later, oh z e a n Thank you Drew for putting us on.
Remember when all I would listen to was shoegaze, and I was like, why do I want to kill myself? Why?
Why you can't understand? Literally, what the fuck are the Cocktail Twins saying? Like? What are they saying?
They're saying if you listen, they're saying, I don't know.
What y'all not y'all really aren't listening. You're not hearing them? All right? Then song for New York, New Jersey. We praised the nine nine to nine Heart takes stave a lie, not feeling it but respect Odo Benson Epogamy.
We're going through your whole Discover weekly right now, so bad, so we need to wrap this up. Yeah, that was made yesterday.
If this was in my headphone, it would probably be like circling my head like a forty audio like haircut. They brought a melody in they lost me. Um Apogamy, Otto Binson, all right, I'm gonna do one. I'm gonna do one. We're sorry, Sorry, I'm sorry.
Umm insane reading your Discovery.
We're gonna get this whole video demonetized.
Oh I love Spirit of the Behive, fell asleep with a vision.
Huh.
I like song.
I like love but makes me so sad, but I'll always always listen to it is but actually it makes me sad and happy. We'll live through the long long days?
Is it dry my car?
Yeah? And I don't know the whole and the through It's like Spotify moves too slow and through the long nights. I was ishibashi that but it has to be the one the song because he does. Like in that album, there's like three renditions of each song, so like it's like the same title, but there's like three different renditions for each one, but you have to listen to one that's three minutes and fifty five seconds. That one of that title was like so good. It makes me so happy,
but also like so sad. But it like literally if the world was ending, I would want to hear that one because I would be like, wow, my life was amazing.
Oh that's pretty. One last album. It is a Spirit of the Beehive album. It's entertainment Comma death. It's scary, but I love this shit. I love this shit and it was it's a minorn album. Twenty twenty one.
Wow.
Uh didn't watch any movies, any shows.
We've been too busy. We haven't been watching anything. We've been watching The Cut and fucking Betas Squad.
I want to watch so fucking and Poor Things.
Yeah, maybe we do that tonight. Oh. I think I have a I have a class to go to tonight.
I need to watch Salt Me with Jacob Alordi and Poor Things with Emma Stoner. Bitch. One thing about me is I love Emma Stone period.
Yeah, she's awesome.
But okay, oh that's the episode. Oh no, I was. I was just okay, like, what are you talking about?
All right, well, I'm gonna go ship. Thank you guys so much for listening. You're awesome.
M