Tomorrow doesn’t exist

Upstart of emergency as are called.

I just found out my grandma died five minutes before this.

Why do you have to start it with like sad ship.

You said you were gonna leave that outside of this.

I just I'm so scared of dying. I'm so scared of dying, and I feel so bad for my mom.

So okay, you know what you should do? Tell someone who fucking cares.

Oh, I'm so fucking tired of you bringing up like.

I never seen something shattered to somebody that's just exploded.

It was crazy. I want to watch that clip back immediately, just but holy Also, it.

Looks like you have bloody dan druff now really yeah, it's literally like pure sugar.

Okay, cool, So that is gonna take eighteen years to clean.

I literally have to like shower again.

But yeah, I'm just tired of.

You bringing that sad ship to the podcast, Like this is supposed to be an enlightening, fun experience and you're.

Just always sad. But that is actually so sad. It's really my condolences to you and your family.

I love you Mamma, and I love you Mom.

I love you Pam. Sorry for it. Literally in the first three seconds making that's not true.

No, Like before we were like planning that bit out and I was like, maybe we don't say that, and then I was just completely disregarded that and said it. Anyways.

Yeah, I didn't know if I was supposed to fall through with the bit, but you know, someone like me is like, I get the sign to go, and I go.

You do the bet? You can you take any chance to get to inflict violence upon me?

Yeah, if I can hit you, I'm gonna take that chance.

We're also before we get into this episode, for real, for real, if you were in the greater Los Angeles area or you for some reason would like to drive out to this event we're throwing.

Yeah, a big party, big party.

We're doing a interactive photo op slash exhibit with Heaven for the podcast. This is something we've been playing for a while. It was supposed to be on the two year anniversary, but someone.

Like me, I had to I got pushed. But we're really excited.

We're gonna have like original r like pieces we've made for the podcast, which is funny because it's a podcast where we talk about shit, poop, and farts. So the fact that we have like actual art aligned with it is like jarring.

Yeah, the podcast set is gonna be there. You can come and sit in my nasty, stinky, fucking gross chair.

Come sit in these chairs.

Yeah. It's just gonna be like a little Vibe, little emergency or come museum.

And something super fun and exciting is going to be there that we haven't even seen yet, and I am so nervous to see.

It, and I'm so excited because it's gonna be awesome. But it's gonna be fun.

Two things, two things that we haven't seen yet that we're excited about.

Oh yeah, yeah, I think I know.

What you're talking about.

Yeah, so yeah, just stop by if you would like. It is on the eleventh and twelfth, and then also the weekend of the eighteenth and nineteenth, So if year round, it's from one.

To five, I think, yeah, one to five Friday or Saturday and Sunday, and then.

The following Saturday and Sunday.

Yeah, one to five the following Saturday and Sunday.

So yeah, nervous to see something we've been planning for so long be in person, and my brain can't grasp it. But that's okay because I already spent countless hours at my desk, literally tweaking.

I'm literally so please show out, show up and show out, but behavior self. Oh they are shooting, Yeah, but literally behave yourselves, but have fun. Bring a friend, it'll be cute.

Okay, that's the end of this.

Up by should we talk about the fact did you read my text yesterday?

Which one?

Oh wait, I'll just like pull them up because I was dying.

So like everybody's going on tour, Like I feel like every time we do an episode we talk about concerts and stuff. Tonight we're actually gonna go see Fay Webster and I'm sitting here for the second time.

I literally forgot about that for the eighth time.

Yeah, that's why we had to do the truck pickup.

So yeah, we're moving all the stuff for the pop up.

We're just like really hands on with our stuff.

No, it's it's actually like a real problem, Like we cannot relinquish any bit of control over anything we do, and so like we just drive ourselves insane. Like for like the last last week, like we've been just kind of like bickering with each other and it's because we're just so fucking stressed out. But guys, it's gonna be a blast.

It's gonna be awesome. I know.

Anytime we do give up control, then I immediately go back on it and I'm like, why did I give you control? I don't know why I did that, And then I fuck it all up and like have to redo it in like three days. But there's something so exciting about that because I feel like my hands are useful once again other than sexually.

Oh my god, Okay, we know that, but so we know everyone's going back on tour.

But I sent you this because have you seen the videos of Uzzi on tour, Like like yes, like the huge like building they made, like this is actually fucking insane, Like.

Yeah, like this is this also costs so much?

But did you listen to my audio message? We are living in such a crazy era of stage design, like if you are a true or tease like bitch that.

Did that more like devil Land, devil Land, cry baby anyways. But no, I feel the same way about fucking like Travis Scott, Like I don't like his music that much, but like I can respect like the craftsmanship and like how much time and effort he puts into like the creative of everything and like his stage design is quite literally the craziest stages I have ever seen in my.

It's like Tyler's Like Tyler had the whole front facing of a house.

Like yeah, damn also got money like that, Like yeah, like that has.

To cost so much, but it is so insane And I was literally freaking out last night. I was like, oh my god, we are literally like we were watching art like music is art, and I was just.

Like going in and yes, said, I was like, oh my god, music.

And then I continue to overstimulate myself and go down a hole on Etsy and listen to Cocktau Twins on my phone.

While it's not Etsy so much recently too, Etsy is.

The vibe as to the place, like everybody's like eBay de pop whatever, whatever, but Etsy is where it's. Etsy is where you find all the good shit because it's just little ladies in the middle of nowhere.

Yeah, like knitting just cool.

They're committed, They're committed to their prats.

Yeah. But I saw something like Taylor Swift had like I think like one hundred and fifty like roadies that could be like a gross exaggeration, but she had like one hundred and fifty people working on the tour that would just go to every show like security, like all like stage designs set up, like all of that shit. And I think she gave them all like a fifty

She is, like not a real war Son.

But didn't you see I have a flashing lines and.

At least I had the decent season run and high.

That's one of the newer songs, but I haven't listened to that one now that we don't talk eats though, but sped up it has to be the sped up version.

Okay, well, guys, I've seigned. I've literally seen it. Stop sending it to me. Actually, you know, I love when you send me things like send me more things like I literally love it so much. But yes, the rumors are true. I am signing up for Neuralink. I'm gonna be the first person to get a neuralink installed into my fucking brain. They're gonna take out a piece of my skull.

Why would you do that?

Because you'll see what will you gain? You'll owe everything. There's literally everything to gain, nothing to lose, everything to gain.

That's I guess, like the bonus of the eyes. Like can you scroll TikTok in your brain?

Yeah, you can probably close your eyes and TikTok will be just like behind your eyes.

Oh my god, that's a nightmare because you already have a problem with like not looking away from your phone.

Imagine closing your eyes and your phone is there.

It's it's gonna be it's gonna be a problem once I'm like fully augmented cyborg. But I don't think I told this story. But when like a month or two ago, like they posted that they were like looking for like trial people to like get it installed because like it like helps like with certain illnesses and stuff. And I signed up, and I fully lied. I said I was like a blind person with like like you know they would have to do.

Is literally google your name and see you sitting on that damn chair.

Yeah, I said that my legs didn't work and that I was blind, because I really just want to like me, I'd like pull up in a wheelchair and like with like blind goggles on and like just lie up until I get on the O R table and get that shit installed.

I think they would probably tell.

They'd definitely be able to tell that you can not only walk, but you can see.

Also, why do they want?

Is it bad?

Is it bad?

Oh?

My god? Oh they're crazy. They're humongous. Dude, that is so cool. That's literally so cool. Sorry, we just got an update on some of the things going there for the pop up and they're.

Like, Okay, this is this woman's actual fucking house.

Like she's literally like where did they find this person?

She's literally goden I this skeleton feet on my girl?

Ew, I don't like her.

Puss her uh stinky gash.

That is so fucking awesome. That is crazy.

Yours looks insane.

I love that little bellyde gevo.

That's awesome.

How are they going to finish that in like three I guess three.

Days is whatever.

But when you get the neur oralink, I'm probably gonna never talk to you again because I'm gonna to feel like you're like recording me and like listening to me and watching me.

I was gonna say, there's like I'm going to become omnipresident, omnipotent, Like I'm literally going to be like this cybernetic being that like you can't avoid, Like I'm going to become God, and like I'll be able to talk to you. No, no, no, I'll be able to talk to you in your brain, like I'll be able to send like radio frequency.

Like I'm genuinely asking this, what does the neuralink do other than they can track your brain activity I.

Think right now, like they can like heal certain ailments and like like if you have like Parkinson's, they can like send electrical pulses through it. It's very rude in entry right now, but like what they're hoping for is.

Like depression and liked and stuff.

That's literally like the whole thing is like they could literally cure like brain born illnesses. Like it's it's really really actually like good like for the future. As much as I don't like Must, like literally literally, but as much as I don't like Elon must at all, not anymore. At least it's a cool thing, like it could be a very cool thing. But then they're gonna start showing you like tesla ads in your brain.

Like when you're asleep, while you're sleeping.

Yeah, but something is happening, Like something.

Is seriously happening outside because there's like banging sounds and a helicopter flying overhead.

So somebody in the next doorhouse is probably being rated.

I feel like there's probably just MS thirteen gang members running around like and they're trying to capture them. Right MS thirteen runs our neighborhood. I'm really scared.

Actually, you need to shut the fuck up.

They're gonna get me. You're gonna get me. Okay, I do have something I want to talk about. Okay, so we all know, like I'm a slime connoisseur, like og slime, parakeet slime, like the goats, like momo slimes, like just to name a few. I love slime. Why haven't any of those people made fuckable slime yet?

I when you said that, I like thought that because there is something so like I hate that.

Everything is.

Wait, there's something you're cucci when it has bacterial vaginosis.

As far my discharge right now on my period, I'm low key giving fuckable slim.

I'm serving fuckable slim right now.

Girl.

That's not a period that you're literally missing.

I'm actively miscarriaging a child right now. But we don't need to talk about that.

She left blood all over the toilet seat. Guys.

Actually, it's it's that runny that's like, that's my concern. It's like I'm just dripping like a fountain, but I'm the fountain of youth right now.

Like, give me some of that to take a shot of the stem cells.

They're like dead.

I think if you consumed period blood you would actually get extremely sick.

It's all right in front of you.

Well, I was gonna say, but there is something so sexual about the slime thing like to me, like, which I know someone's gonna be like, bruh, it's literally slid, but no, like there is something so visceral about it, like I want to like I want.

To fuck it, like I'm not even gonna lie.

Like me and you were sitting in by watching it together and I was like, this is literally we might as well be watching porn because we both watching We're like like we like we literally we start making like borderline moan sounds watching somebody who scoop.

Slant the wet wet slime dash.

It gets me, like the one that looks like water. I need that, make me say make me hot. Maybe it was bad man.

Uh if your man knows that song, oh, he's over. He's watching the TikTok. He's watching all the tiktoks of people.

We need to see you do that.

I don't even know what the dance is.

It's like you go to the side and then you like bounce your ass and then you go to sign and.

Let's try it.

It's like, h it's like, make me say boom boom, make me hot, boom boom.

Okay, okay, okay. Why do you have to do your hands.

It's like it's like a psychological thing. I've realized.

I feel like you're lifting it.

Yeah I know. Yeah, like you see the movement if you see my hands making the movement.

Yeah, it's like an illusion. It's an allusion to the audience.

Yeah, it is.

One of my only notes. Is something that I don't think has aged well. But it's just it's okay. You first with a girl so hard on the plane.

It was magical.

I like, I feel like women we all have this experience and.

Periods and makeup and tampons and boobs and playing with each other's bubes, but like.

Every woman has this experience where you were like, over, you're just naturally overtly polite of like, no, it's okay, Like the amount of time someone does something to me in public that's not okay. And I'm like, oh, no, you're so fine, it's okay because that's just what I am like designed to do. But me and this girl indoctrinated, yeah, yeah, yeah, true, true. But we were like both got to the bathroom at

You first, like you first, and she was like, no, you first.

I was like, no, it's okay, you first, And I am not kidding.

We did it for so long that I was just like okay, and.

I went in and I literally got on the bathroom and laughed out loud so hard.

Because I was like, what was the point of that?

Why?

How much should have just been like, bitch, you.

Fucking go shut up like girlhood.

But yeah, we just uh no, it's okay.

You first so hard that I went in the bathroom and I squirted like it was so like it was almost horny of an experience.

Actually, I didn't know where that story was going, but I'm glad I started listening.

But that was the immediate joke I thought of. I'm like, damn, like, why were we flirting?

Like, but we literally just stood it all way.

When you thinks every pretty girl she speaks to they're flirting.

Yeah, because you are. Why are you talking to me? Like literally, why are you talking to me unless you're flirting with me? Like you have no business talking to me for.

This long every pretty girl. Yeah, I'll never forget when we first met here. Yeah, Evatt Target, she was, oh my god, and you literally talked about this woman for like I'm not kidding three years, Like she just ran casually.

She was one of the most gorgeous women I've ever seen in my life.

Like I remember the dress she was wearing. She was wearing a yellow dress.

It was like kind of like tight at the top and like flowy, but not overly flowy, like it was way too nice to be wearing to target like it wasn't casual enough. But she was gorgeous and she was really tall, and she was literally gorgeous. But she was so gorgeous and she had the softest voice.

What color was the dress.

Yellow?

What color were the shoes? I didn't I don't have.

Oh my god.

Oh if I got sent back to two hundred AD, people would be like oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, okay, oh no no, Like people have this conversation where they're like, oh, if I got sent back two thousand years is like I would run shit, like I'd invent a cell phone, Like I'd run shit, Like no, no, no, if you got sent back, If I got sent back to two hundred a D, they would burn me at the stake without me fail. They would see the clothes on my body and burn me. Or they'd hear the way i'd speak.

Do you think they'd be able to recognize any tinge of like gay boys.

Yeah, I swear to god, it transcends.

There's definitely cavemen who are like.

It's like, yeah, it's primal, Like it's like, you know, like the uncanny valley that like we all have just in our brain, like it's whatever that is to humans. That's like what like Gadar is, Like it's like the deep, deep, deep deep inside of us, like we know, we know.

Like there were definitely cave men who were like cavemen and women who were serving gay and like nobody really understood what that meant yet, but they were.

Like the butch cavemen using a stick as a strap. Did you know, listen, listen, did you know did you know when.

A stick is a crazy thing to think about?

Yeah, well they take the bark off obviously, they stand it down. Yeah about her, Yeah, they know, they know, make sure the base is flared. Oh my god, I know things. I'm one of the girls, Like I know things. I know the thing or two. But okay, that helicopter circling is it is so goddamn is going to like.

At out ready to come here and ride down to our damp thing with.

The helicopter up with the fucking rocket launch.

It, Like I need to call her immediately.

What the fuck was I saying?

Oh?

Yeah, when lesbians get a news strap, their body count resets. Is that it's like a born and virgin.

Yeah, I guess I understand that.

I just know a thing. It's too about culture. Yeah, the culture. Okay, Oh my god, I want to drop my phone. Everything is going wrong. Okay, So I, me and Ya were sitting on the.

Couch were I don't sit with you, bitch?

Yeah you do?

You can't wait? Why can you not sit with us?

I literally can't sit still. But we were sitting on the couch and Enya is on Instagram right now. I was crazy crazy, yes, but we were sitting on the couch and I like, just I don't remember how this conversation got started, but I haven't laughed in years.

You know.

We were watching something. Wait, what the fuck were we watching?

And Drew seriously like in the he was not trying to be funny, he literally was watching TV.

He goes, I just haven't laughed in so.

Long, And I was being dead serious, like I felt that to my career, like I haven't had like a like a crying laugh. But I'm just so jaded, like everything is going wrong. You know.

What I was gonna say too, is like we are just so spoiled with laughter because we like have all of our friends or comedians so now like the bar for extreme like die hard laughter is so high that it's like it's just harder to get to. And also all of our friends hate us and they don't hang out with us as much.

It's just me, Josiah and Inda versus the world. Everyone else has just decided we're not.

With me when everybody else is just adults and they're like working like the thing.

We just used to, Like, if they wanted to, they would, Oh wow, if they want If they wanted to, they would, Why do you If he wanted to, he would, Like if he wanted to buy you flowers every day, he would, are you yeah?

I know that's like a.

I cannot believe I came up with that just now. Holy shit. If if he wanted to, he would. If she wanted too, he would. If they wanted to, they would.

Well, we were watching Fifty Shades of Gray the other day and I cannot believe you.

Need to say what you said, let me public joins it.

Oh so there was like, for some reason, like a five to seven year period where older women were just squirting on public transportation because of Fifty Shades of Gray, like they would be like reading that book public Yes, and like literally squirting juice like everywhere. Like it was crazy.

It was crazy kind of like an act of service, Like how like like your love language, that was an act of service love language to the public from women to squirre and like your genes would just like wipe it up.

Eh iw So.

That movie is so goddam horny. Also, yes, the rumors are true. I did read that in ninth grade.

On my iPod in class.

Yes I did.

Yeah, bitch.

I would just be sitting in class reading that shit like teacher talking about like biology. I'm like, I'm learning the true biology and of human nature right now.

Yeah, no, literally, And I went around the same time as Fifty Shades of Gray for Halloween.

That movie series is so weird and dark and would have it will never it would have never played out with the kind of love it got when it came out.

I cannot believe they made.

A third one in twenty eighteen that still got like three eighty million. Yeah, you know, it's a billion dollar franch Like, it is a huge franchise.

I did not know they kept making them.

Also when you were in the bathroom, because I was high as fuck while we were watching it. I was trying to find out how much all the movies made, and I couldn't remember the name of the second one, and I seriously cert googled fifty Shades of Grayer, like fifty.

Shades of Gray, or as the second one in staid.

Of fifty Shades Darker, and I was like, where's this movie?

There's no trace of this movie.

All they do exactly and just we're just laughing.

I always thought like a parody of that movie would be, like if we need to bring back parody movie culture so bad, because like now is literally the perfect very we.

Destroyed parody culture.

And I don't know why I pin it on him, but I pin it on him, like he just made it so like annoying, but.

Like we need to write a parody movie and just start pitching.

It around scary movie like yeah, there needs to be like a scary movie franchise again.

Yeah, because I mean there is. There are so many cultural events that are constantly happening. I feel like they've been happening like way more recently that like if you took a year to write a movie and then released it like filmed it, wrote it, filmed it, edited it, and released it all in the same year. It would destroy the box office right now because there's just so much bullshit. We are so much more connected, there's like so many more viral moments.

I think that's why it's like harder to do because we're like in like this never ending revolving door of moments. And it used to be like I mean, when The Ring came out, the Ring dominated like horror for like years, so then a movie like scary movie, and then all the movies that came in between it a movie like scary movie got to make fun of that and like two other movies in one movie, and they didn't like miss the Window ward.

But now shit moves way too fucking scary.

That's why time feels like it's going so.

Quick, because we're just experiencing so much.

We're experiencing time dilation. The future affects the present just as much as the past does. And since we have technology like our phones, who are basically like living in this like quantum world where like we can experience the future just through our phones, so we're just compressing the time smaller and smaller and smaller, until sooner than later it's going to become just like a black hole where it just sucks all time in and the universe is gonna end?

Isn't it crazy? Tomorrow doesn't exist yet?

Mm?

That is so weird, But I don't believe that. I'm not buying that shit, Like I know exactly what's going to happen tomorrow, Like, yeah, I know.

As I was saying that, like while you're talking about it, I was like, it's crazy, like tomorrow doesn't exist, but you can literally plan it out and makes it.

Don't ever say that to me again because that literally just like free me out.

Like you don't have any pictures from tomorrow.

You can have like an idea of what tomorrow is going to be, and like you can try to plan it, but like you can plan it, but your brain can't. That's why we're in a simulation because you just like render everything out or.

Does tomorrow already exist? Is time? Like either time is linear or it's not linear, And I don't think time is linear, but I don't know. Just never ever say those words to me ever again because I will be panicking about that.

Yeah.

No, I am already planning on it because I'm in aake freak out with my head on a pillow Okay, guys, so not to change the conversation, but I really think everyone needs this right now. And it's just like a little like meditation exercise, and I just think it's really important to just like almost like break the fourth wall a little bit and just like recenter and ground ourselves. So if you could and you're willing, just please particip

It because you're starting to freak out.

Just yeah, exactly, do as I say. Okay, everyone, so now close your eyes, you too, and you are you closing your eyes of course? Now uncleanch your jaw like just like relax the jaw muscles, like maybe give like a little shimmy on your shoulders, like just yeah, just like let it out, let all the tention out, and now shop yourself and just crap all over yourself. I think crap might be the funniest word ever made. Crap with the crap, like just crap. I just made crap

Really so stupid, Like I hate, but that's funny, you know what I need? I think I like what the exercise I need is to like I need to break something with both.

My hands raising over my head and slamming it like a monkey.

Like that's what I really like I decided, Yeah, like I need to grab a rock and like sit with like my legs open and like break something.

Have you seen the Otters like doing gay sex together? No, like it's the Otters and the bears and the wolves and no, no, like the little Otters like grabbing rocks and like hitting them on like shelled like critters. To like get that. I need to do that, Like that's aye.

Like maybe we should just go on Survivor.

M I would die, I know I would be see because Survivor is like a guy, the Survivor is like a game, like it's it's less about surviving and more about how you like play the like society that you build and like you can make it a psychological game exactly, like the winners are like always like Harvard graduates like a one winner of like his like thesis at Harvard was on like how to win Survivor basically, so like it's it's really is like more of like a psychological

Also, Drew did that shitting thing to me yesterday and I fully thought like something like he was trying to like help me because I was so stressed and anxious and like having the worst forty.

Eight hours ever.

And I was like, okay, like this will be good for me. But it was him sitting on the couch.

The last year the laugh did you need everyone needs need this?

Well?

I needed this me sitting at the campfire in the middle of nowhere. Okay, So this is something that I'm surprised no one's really talking about because I feel like this should be like one of the most talked about fucking things ever period. But they built an entire city for Clara in Egypt, and they even built like big pyramid tombs for her, Like I can't believe we're not talking about that, and like see you're laughing at it right now, Like I know.

It's just like it's like how some people's name is like June and it's like, no, they didn't, like they didn't name a mark House name was Jean. She was.

They named Jean's after her. They wanted to commemorate she wore the pants in the family.

I don't know if like I think it might be like someone heard Gene and that was like, oh.

If you take the fourth be with you Star Wars day, she.

Wore the fants of the family. What can I say?

Like, can I say?

Yeah, No, I think that's just like coincidental kind of thing.

Yeah, well, gladoacy they gave they gave Claire a Spanish word too, ladocacy.

Mmm, clado glado what is that?

It's like obviously like.

Du obviously yes, like clearly yes.

But yeah, those pyramids they built for her were epic and it's crazy that they predicted her. I think she might actually be like this, she's like a god time traveler. Yeah, I mean the music she makes is very telling, like she makes good music and only someone who's lived thousands of years could make music that.

I mean, young Blood also makes really good Yeah, so it's like, what is he?

Where's his statue?

Yeah? Young blood? Like all I when I hear young Blood, I think of spitting on fans for some reason.

Yeah, becau, I'm pretty sure he did that.

He just spits on people.

Like hawks loogies, Like I would hit you, but maybe I deserve it because I have no business in a fucking young blood crowd.

Anyway, Dude, Like I remember being very young and I'm still this way, Like when I would see people hawk loogies, like it did something to me, like like it's it is the most foul shit you can do, is like spit up snot out of your esophagus. No, no in seeing it like in a green pile on the floor.

Would you let do that too? Is there somebody he would?

Oscar Isaac?

Yeah?

Yeah no, Actually even though.

What's the dude from Star Wars I mean, not Star Wars Strange, just my co star stranger.

David.

Yeah, David Harbor Is that his name? I think so, David Harbor, Dak Harbor. Maybe Dak Shepherd, let me look it up. Yeah, David Harbor, Yeah, David Harbor, what a name?

Yeah, Yeah, he's hot bones, you know.

But still, like.

That is like so fucking I just honestly feel so weird even talking about him, especially with season five coming up, and like I have like a I have like a main part, and then he's.

Definitely gonna see this, and then like you're gonna have beef with Lily Allen.

Allen Beach.

No, she's my biggest op right now.

I'm not kidding.

Lily Allen is one of my biggest ops. It's crazy that you won't even watch my fucking show. I've been in the last three seasons and you won't watch it.

Okay, Okay, Well it's just because I know you, so it would be weird, and I think it would make you uncomfortable.

If you just say you're getting black bald from Hollywood.

Let's just say that's the strangest thing.

The strangest thing about you is you not tuning in to my show out of jealousy.

No, the strange thing about me is that I've spent every night high as fuck.

Watching South Bar and you got a fucking stizzy. If you know what a stizzy is.

People probably so of.

Me being like I was high, but like I only ever even like mentioned that to explain why I think the silliest things ever are so entertaining, because I'm just like a dark soul and I just don't think that you would assume that I would find the most measly insignificant things in music.

The dark twisted, very dark, twisting, I'm sick and twisted sicko and twisted sicko mode. Okay. Also something I did want to touch on, rest in Peace paint Grandpa literally actually made me tear up and almost cry when I saw that shit, Like I watched like a compilation video of him, and like it was so fucking cute and literally just like rest in peace. Miss Oh my god, I die.

I know y'all are gonna use that stupid fucking screenshot of me in a compilation, Yeah.

My god, and we're gonna laugh. We're all gonna laugh.

You're gonna laugh at me.

Yeah, I guess I would hope that you know what I've always thought about, like what like the slide shows and like the memorial videos for me would be at my funeral, and like there are maybe three good pictures of me that exist on the internet in its entirety, and like those are gonna get their way and tear, and then the rest are gonna be like no chin photos and me dead on the ground, like there's nothing of me. I've given no one anything real of me.

That's okay, because you're preserving yourself for your real life.

I'm protecting my piece.

You're protecting your piece so that you have space to sit on your phone for twelve hours.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, what just I'm looking like now grinder for twelve hours a day. It's a church ap. Y'all are dumb as fuck.

I know, Like, why do you have to assume that it's for something else? Like he said multiple times that he doesn't like do anything like that would even be associated with an app like that.

It's just two hours today?

No, what's it yesterday? The day before?

Because I saw very high bars seven thirty three, I think.

My screen time might be insanely high. Right now, let's check it, like I'm not even gonna lie my scoring.

Time check I okay, this is something I have to say it publicly because if I don't say it publicly, then it won't happen. But I really want like a call in phone where people can call in and we do like a segment where like people call in and like.

My time assay was nine hours and nineteen minutes.

Damn, we like worked all day, I know, but you know what it was unlocked.

You know what it was is I was like playing like tiktoks and stuff.

Wait, I texted for two hours and sixteen minutes.

Yes, no, I do the same thing where I leave my phone unlocked.

That doesn't even make sense.

That don't even sound right. But yeah, I want to do like a phone where like you all can call in and like we can you either leave them atage, or we have a conversation, or you ask a question, or you be really evil and it just will be a good vibe.

Yeah.

Period. I just have to say that out loud because it won't become true if I don't.

We'll get that set up for sure.

Hmm.

Okay, I got a couple more things I want to say, and then we'll get into Drew Syov and media. We're making a short episode today because we got a lot of shit to do. I love being cut hoolded by video games, like I love watching someone play video games, Like I don't need to be the one playing video games, like yeah.

You get all the joy of watching it.

Yeah yeah, Like I don't have to like think and be present. I can be on my phone and I can do all this shit, which is like what basically streamers are. But like it's crazy to me that they're Like I say, like, I haven't done this before, But then I think about like me like on TikTok for twelve hours a day, draining my soul and my energy in giving way more than money to be.

Being like a streamer or like I will never understand the wall where I understand like the want to consume. That is because like especially if you're feeling a bit lonely, I can understand wanting to watch someone for very long, yeah, but I don't understand the mindset and the brain and like the emotional bandwidth.

You have to have to be live all the time, like Kai Senate.

I think just did like a live stream like for days, yeah, for days on end. I think it was like a seven day thing or something like oh yeah, I don't know if it's still going, But like you have to be so goddamn committed. And you also have to have like the bandwidth of like I don't even know who to be able to withstand being perceived for that long, like even having this much content of ourselves on the internet with the podcasts and stuff.

Every now and then I literally will freak out. And this stuff isn't even live.

It's like we like can cut it if we feel like we're not funny or we like whatever. But imagine just like being live for that long, like for hours straight. But I also do remember like how fun it is, like every time I'm like live or something, and I do have fun, and I'm like, I need to do that more. But I just get so anxious about, like before doing it, because I feel like if I'm not funny, then I'm useless.

Then I should die.

Yeah, I mean that's true. Either that or be in the kitchen.

What the hell? What about what about you? Like you're not funny? What do you do?

I don't have to do anything. I'm a man. Oh that just can exist. I just all I have to do is hold out doors open for people.

What do I have to do?

Like?

Cook, clean, cook laundry, brush my teeth, make babies, make bed do s. That's really it.

Oh, I can't do like any extracurricular stuff.

Oh no, Okay. The last thing is I don't know if I'm going to insert the video because it's kind of crazy unless I get kind of blur this person's face.

Every other second get his hair.

Because no, when we first pulled up to him, he fully was like trimming the ends, so we couldn't tell if his hair was really long and he was holding the ends up or if he just chopped it off and was sitting and driving and like playing and cutting it. But it was the oddest thing ever. Also, I don't think I told you. I think I said in the group time and nobody said anything. But I left the house the other night late at night for some reason.

But on the way to the fucking jim, I saw somebody sucking out of a nose balloon.

Somebody was taking hits out of a nose, like like sucking down knaws as they were, and he was like swerving a little.

So I was like, oh my god, this motherfucker is crazy.

And he easily looks like he was like nineteen years old, and I was like.

I get it. I used to like get cavities on purpose to get last gasts like that shit is, so it just.

Doesn't do it for me.

Yes, I've had naws, guys.

Yes, I am chilling.

I'm down for anything, and I'm like a super.

Vibe, down for the vibe. I'll take you anywhere. I'm down for that.

I can't believe you even like know some of those lyrics.

Yeah, I'm special, I'm crazy, but you like that, you like the hands up on the dashboard.

I'm crazy for it.

Exact the fuck up.

Okay, let's do juice eye up corner and then media or media and then drewic seven corner.

Corner that media.

Welcome to Drew Shy on corner. Bitches will have a manic episode and think they're jewels from Euphoria. Bitch your gabby, Hannah, that's good, you know what I was listening to what she was like.

She was like, I'm a bad bitch.

Oh yeah, yeah, you're.

Trying to tell me how to live my life.

I have like a privated TikTok of me like lip syncing to that, and it's really good. The public sawid for like two minutes and then I deleted it because I felt bad. But they should add a feature where we can fuck over the podcast, like fuck a fan challenge, but over the podcast. No, yeah, I think you're right. I told azul Enya's cat to stop biting me, and he replied criticism like rain may dampen the spirit, yet from such showers, the soul's garden blooms even brighter.

O my god, and that she kept fucking biting you min Yeah, and.

Then he shipped on the floor and went in my bedroom, ate my fucking plant and vomited it up. Never forget. Someone find that clip and reposted if you want to go viral, Hey, you one a viral moment, what.

Is up with you? That Drew's biggest person? And I repeat it a bunch, but you will do the same to me. But when I do it to him, he does.

Not like it. And you don't like it when.

Wait, what's our podcast?

Oh my god? Podcast equipment should be harder to purchase than a firearm. Every time I go on my phone, it's one of the worst experiences of my life. And that's all I have.

Should I should have wrote down mine yesterday that I said in the car.

Crazy, but you like, let's say if I can find it.

I did a lot of googling last night, so it's gonna be like possibly goo google guys that.

I don't like that.

Okay, I found it.

They're selling our merch on TMU.

I am currently being prosecuted by the f PC for all the bio hazard I have caused by shitting on you bitches.

Oh yeah, I remember that one.

I made that one up. It's pretty bad now that I say it. It was like good yesterday.

It was funny in the moment.

It was like yeah, that one because it was just like off the top of the home.

So it was like good, but like, okay, well media.

The week, I've literally only been watching South Park.

I don't think I've watched a movie.

Wait wait, wait wait wait, oh, actually I watched. But I'm a cheerleader, so funny, so good. But everybody knows that, so I'm not not really giving anything new. And then, and I've just been listening to The Cocktail Twins' Bluebell Nole album a bunch because it's that time of year, you know, Oh my god, it is that time of year, guys.

Seasonal depression can fucking kill itself. Yeah, I like, can fucking care.

I don't even want to get into it. But this, Yeah, the sun is going down earlier.

It's it's hard.

Times, guys. I don't know. The last two days have been horrible, like even Saday has been fucking horrible.

Feeling a little more normal today, but now that the caffeine is draining for my body.

I feel the way God intended me to feel awful.

So just know you're not battling this battle alone. We're with you. You're a strong soldier. This happens every year. Don't let it. Don't let it convince you that it's any different. You'll wake up one day in three months, and be Okay, I love you. But I watched Anatomy of the Fall or the Anatomy of a Fall goaded movie, really slow but awesome. It was like fringe court. That's how fucking court should be and ever for everyone in the world is just everyone arguing back and forth. But

That's the only way you're gonna win a Grammy.

Because I got that dog game.

Oh my god, bro, yeah.

I got that pussy and me. Yeah, why don't rappers say that?

But for all the pussies or for all the cats, pussy cats, but yeah, that dog gave, like I'm not kidding, one of the greatest performances seen in a movie this entire year.

Can I touch your boobs? Please?

No, bitch, never again. I let you suck on one.

You're bitch, you used your turn whatever, But that dog gave Like there's this one specific scene where I was like, damn, dude, like that. I'm not even exaggerating when I say it's like, legitimately like the best performance I've ever seen this year.

When I am breastfeeding one of y'all are gonna have to.

Suck on my boots. Yeah, I'm gonna relieve you.

Like someone's gonna have to, like I have to breastfeed one of my friends.

Yeah, just to see like what it tastes like straight.

From for some reason, when I have my baby, like I am single, Like I'm gonna like find somebody to suck on my breast milk me.

I'll be here.

Even well even if I'm not single, you get to But that might be too far.

No, it's not, it's not. It's literally not breastfeeding. Breastfeeding is not sexual. You need to let me do it. Just let me do it. It's not just far, it's not really not. But yeah, the kid in that movie with the fuck ass Bob gave Like I'm not even exaggerating when I say this, I know I say it about everything, but the best child performance I've ever seen in a movie. Like, I genuinely think he could be nominated for an actual Oscar this year.

That would be fine.

I think he and he could literally win it because.

We could hit up our people and make sure that happens.

Yeah, our Academy people.

Yeah, we're welcome.

I couldn't but with that, I don't got any music. I'm still listening to the same shit always. I have the playlist on my ig first time I've ever listened to music, or on my Spotify, But the playlist is first time I ever listened to music emergency in or calm vibes and whatever. And I just listened to this playlist on repeat. There's nothing new, nothing new has happened or change for music for me.

But yeah, thank you guys, so much of you. And yeah, yeah I'm not kidding. I just leaked as I did that, so I'm

Gonna go b